


Beautifully Broken

by DonnaLynne1



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Drug Use, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 14:25:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 35
Words: 286,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3491675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DonnaLynne1/pseuds/DonnaLynne1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She thinks that maybe she was always meant to be broken. Every event that chiseled away at her through the years made her just damaged enough to be perfectly broken for him. She’s never really thought about fate or destiny or God before, never had a reason to really, but as he walks back into the room she decides to say thank you to fate, or God or the universe, just thank you to whoever broke her just enough to be perfectly broken for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER - I do NOT own Doctor Who or Torchwood. The characters belong to the BBC. If you read something you recognize it's not mine.  
> The Doctor does NOT commit any Non-Con in this story  
> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it.  
> No Beta, all mistakes are mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech in Italics is remembered conversations.

“I am fairly certain your sly ogling has turned to obvious staring Rose,” says Amy with a cheeky smile.

Rose’s eyes dart to Amy’s face then to the floor where she finds the laces on her pink chucks very interesting, allowing her hair to curtain the blush rising in her chest and face. “No, I…” (What? I was what?) “I…um…no…not staring or ogling. I just spaced out for a bit. It’s not my fault Jack put tables in front of windows that I look out of while spacing out in the middle of the day at my job because it’s slow and…”

“Christ Rose relax,” Amy laughs, “Whenever you start babbling it means you’re lying, we all know this and you know we know this about you,” she smirks at Rose and pats her arm as she walks over to the counter to assist the customer who just walked in.

Rose isn’t sure how to take that comment. Yes, it has been brought to her attention that she has a tendency to babble a bit, but it’s only when she’s nervous or embarrassed. Amy makes it sound like she’s a liar, she’s not she thinks to herself adamantly. Her brain suddenly shifts back to what Amy said. She stands in front of the counter mindlessly wiping at it with a damp rag and her mind freezes on the word ogling. Was she doing that? Rose Tyler is NOT a woman who ogles men. Ogles…Ogles…OGLES…that is a weird word she thinks.

She glances out the corner of her eye at the man she was apparently ogling (Okay that word has got to go. It doesn’t even sound like a real word anymore). She is willing to admit, if only to herself, that he is rather fit. Tall, thin, maybe lanky is the better term for him. He’s wearing a fitted black and gray pinstriped suit, very fitted, almost ill fitted actually. A light gray dress shirt, black tie with swirly silver patterns on it, black chucks (actual Chuck Taylor’s not the knock off brand she tries to pull off as real). His brown hair is sticking up everywhere, really great hair she thinks. He has dark brown eyes, almost black, enhanced by the dark frames of his glasses. A long, thin nose slightly askew, wonky left earlobe that is noticeably bigger than his right. Not in a circus freak kind of way…just obvious. Well…obvious to her anyway and shit she’s staring again. Mid-thirties she thinks to herself while wiping the same spot. A professor or maybe a banker or real estate agent or…OH FOR FUCKS SAKE ROSE STOP!!!!!!

She tries, she really does. She tries to push the thoughts of this man out of her head and focus on work. It’s just so slow today there’s no work to focus on. She’s been here since 5:00 this morning. There’s road construction blocking both ends of the street so it’s been slow today, foot traffic mostly and even that was minimal. Fucking construction, fucking pot holes, fucking stupid obsessive brain that won’t stop thinking about this stupid fucking man that she doesn’t even know…stupid…stupid…STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN!

So yes, here since opening, no customers due to construction. She had plenty of time to do all of the cleaning, stocking, ordering, payroll and inventory. Now there is nothing to do. Nothing to occupy her mind, to keep her stupid brain from allowing her eyes to ogle (there’s that word again. I need a pocket thesaurus) the very fit man sitting in front of the window. She feels Amy slide next to her, wrap an arm around her shoulder and guide her over to a table where Rory is sitting with his laptop open. Amy places her in a chair next to him and stands in her line of vision. Rose sighs, at least I’m not…SHIT now I can’t think of any word but ogle and she turns her face to Rory away from Amy in an obvious “we’re not discussing this again” way.

“He comes in almost every day you know,” says the tall, slender redhead with light brown, almost but not quite hazel eyes and devastating legs that never seem to stop.

She pulls out the chair and sits down, still blocking Rose’s view of the…customer? Yes customer. “Yes Amy I am aware. I am after all the manager, kinda my job to know the regulars,” Rose replies in a dry, sarcastic voice.

Rory glances up at Amy then shifts his vision to the few customers in the store scattered among the tables. “Who we talking about?” he asks.

“Geek Chic, porcupine hair, glasses, laptop and apparently the guy blocking Rose’s view of the rain from the front window,” Amy lets loose a little giggle.

She leans into Rory and whispers something in his ear after her overly loud (at least to Rose it seemed overly loud) diatribe about the…customer…yep customer that’s what she’s going with. Rory smiles up at Amy. It’s a huge megawatt grin that shows his teeth…all of them. Rory has a lot of teeth, like a shark, just rows of pearly whiteness…that are now shining at Rose. That cannot be a good thing, all those teeth and that smile directed at her. She’s known Rory and Amy long enough to know that smile on his face, it’s never good. Well, never good for whom it’s directed at. It’s almost always good for Amy and Rory.

Rose loves them, she really, really does. They are a lovely couple and her closest friends. She’s known them both for 3 years now. He is a nurse working towards being a doctor and she is…well…Amy. Rose doesn’t really have a defined box to place her friend in. Amy is funny and sweet and compassionate and mean and snarky and good and evil and spontaneous and pushy and supportive and well…Amy.

Boxes…her mind starts to wander on that thought. What box is she in? If Rose had to define a label for her box what would it be? Boring she thinks, responsible, a good person for sure, but…yes boring (really need to get that pocket thesaurus). She comes back to herself when Amy rises from her seat to take care of a customer at the register. She realizes that Rory is staring at her with an expectant look on his face. Shit, he asked her something but she was off in…well she doesn’t really know just that she was not here.

“I’m sorry Rory, did you say something?” Rose asks him.

He rolls his eyes at her, smiles and says, “How long have you been working here Rose?”

She looks at him, purses her lips and narrows her eyes. He knows how long I’ve worked here he bloody hired me! She decides to just go along with it, figure out what they are really up to.

“Umm…3 years? Well, just over 3 years now I spose’…why?”

“And you’ve been in Cardiff just over 4 years right?”

“Yes Rory. You know all of this, so what’s with the 20 questions about my timeline?”

“I just, hmm…we worry about you, ya know? We’ve known you for over 3 years now and never seen you with a guy…or girl if that’s what you’re into. I mean you’re the only person I have ever met that has turned Jack down. Not that I didn’t laugh my arse off when you did but still that just doesn’t happen,” he laughs remembering the look on Jack’s face as Rose slapped him at the Holiday party right after she started working at H&W Coffee.

Rose places her hands on the table and begins to push herself up and away from this conversation. She rolls her eyes and releases a stream of air from her puffed up cheeks in an attempt to show she is not amused with the direction this conversation is going. She knows, of course she knows how long it’s been since she had someone in her life.

She glances at the clock, 12:17 pm. She starts calculating in her head and realizes that it has been roughly (okay, EXACTLY) 5 years, 11 days, 7 hours and 14 minutes since she had someone. Fuck that’s pathetic, both that she has been alone that long and that she can remember to the minute when her life turned to shit…complete and utter shit. Not that it had been great prior to that day…err…moment rather, but it was…manageable? No it wasn’t even that. It was horrible, but that moment was the worst of the bad moments.

Rory places his hand above Rose's in a move meant to ask her to wait. She looks at him; his smile is genuine if a bit saccharine. His bright blue eyes open and honest staring back at her with what she thinks is just a little too much pity. She hates that; hates seeing that in her friends eyes, knows it’s not the first time it’s been there, worse, she knows it’s not the last time it will be there.

“Look Rory, I appreciate the concern I really do,” and she does she thinks honestly, “but I’m okay.” I’m always okay, she thinks to herself.

Rose turns to leave the table and Rory almost death grips her hand. She glances back at him in askance and he stands up, reaches for her and wraps his arms around her, placing her head on his chest. She starts giggling…actually giggling like a fucking teenager.

 _Ugh…am I so attention deprived that even this…this, you’re so pathetic Rose, let me give you a platonic sorry you suck so much friendly hug gets a reaction? Yes, yes I am that pathetic and attention starved and…lonely,_ she thinks to herself.

“Rose,” Amy says in a very delicate way.

_Why is she saying my name like that? And why is Rory rubbing my back like that? In that way that parents try to soothe a small hysterical child, and why is my face all wet and why is there snot dripping from my nose and why am I moving and where am I moving to and, and, and…FUCK! WHAT the FUCK JUST HAPPENED?_

“Breathe Rose,” Rory says, moving her to sit down on a crate in the back room and talking very quietly and very closely in her ear, “Head down Rose, between your knees and breathe slowly.”

She can feel one of his hands on her back still doing that soothing, rubbing thing and the other on the back of her head keeping it between her knees. She’s trying to take in air she really is, but her head hurts and her chest feels like there is a 500 pound gorilla on it and she’s panting and gasping like a fucking fish out of water and tears are streaming down her face and she feels hot and sweaty and, and, and…OH! Clarity! She’s having a panic attack…at work…in front of her boss/friend as well as her friend/co-worker and…her customers…customer…him…and in front of him. Well…maybe him. Maybe he left before it happened. Maybe he didn’t see what a fucking mess she is. Maybe…but no…that’s not how her life works.

He saw, he definitely saw and now not only has she embarrassed herself publicly, she’s certain any remaining customers (him) will not be coming in to get coffee from the fucking pathetic crazy chick at H&W Coffee again. Stupid, stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN! Over and over in her head she hears it. It’s not her voice; it’s never her voice. It’s always him, angry, snarling, viscous and dripping with disgust at her. She knows she needs to get control of her spiraling thoughts, knows that he’s not here, knows it’s all in her head. He can’t get here, can’t be here, he’s still locked up in prison far, far away from her. Right? When was the last time she looked online to make sure he was still a registered inmate? But no, 12 years, he’s supposed to be there for 12 years and it’s only been…5 years, 11 days, 7 hours and 42 minutes.

Her breathing starts returning to normal with that thought. She remembers the parole hearing, remembers going and asking that he not be released early, remembers showing the board of people her scars and the Barrister showing the pictures of that night. She remembers barely looking at him across the table she was sitting at.

Him sneering at her, his lip curving in the way a rabid dog snarls at its prey,“ _5 years or 50 years Rose, doesn’t matter you will always be mine._ ”

So 7 more years…she has 7 more years. Her breathing has slowed, her chest hurts less, she’s still crying though. As reality starts to reassert itself around her Rose brings her head up to see Rory, Amy and Oh good Lord, even Jack huddled around her. How long was she out of it? Long enough for Amy to call Jack and him to drive err…no wait road construction, walk here. She glances at her watch, 1:07 p.m. her workday is officially over.

Rose stands up, runs a hand through her hair and down her face to wipe away the tears and snot, looks to her friends, plasters on her smile and says,” So my shifts over…umm…see you all tomorrow,” and tries to walk out of the store room. Hands, several sets fall on her shoulders preventing her escape.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) Rose turns slowly. That’s the theme right now: SLOWLY. She looks to her friends/boss/co-workers and tries to smile. She knows it’s weak, even to her it’s weak and they are never going to buy it. Not after the ridiculous spectacle she just made of in front of their customers…customer (him). She decides to just get it over with. The inquisition will go faster if she doesn’t fight it. Rose sits back down on the crate she just left and raises her head slowly to look up at her boss/co-workers/friends.

“Okay, so…yeah…that umm…well yeah that happened,” Rose says nervously to her…people?

These people have too many boxes to fit into and she cannot pick or determine the appropriate one for them. It’s confusing and frustrating. Rose likes boxes, neat lines, straight, orderly, obvious and to the point, organized and categorized and…now they are all staring at her. She thinks she’d rather they ogle her. Ugh and her rampant fucked up brain has come full circle…complete 360 degrees back to the beginning of this whole fucking nightmare. Well, she thinks at least there’s that, full circle, cyclical, complete, a finished thought and bright side: it only took 2 hours and (glances at her watch) 7 minutes to complete said thought. Hmm…not exactly progress Rose she thinks to herself.

Jack is the first one to break the silence. He’s a brave man that Jack Harkness. If some crazy bitch had a meltdown in my shop and on my dollar I’d just toss her ass out! No, no…I wouldn’t do that would I? I would do exactly what these people have done and try to help even if I didn’t understand; because I AM a good person and these people…they are good people too. So she will sit and answer as much as she can for her confused…people? Yes, people. For now that’s what she’s going with. She looks to Jack and realizes he has asked her something. Stupid, stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN SHUT UP!

“Wha…what? Sorry Jack, umm…what?” Rose asks trying to focus.

He laughs. A short snort, a chuckle and then, “Rose, are you OK? And none of that I’m always OK shit that you give us, because you are OBVIOUSLY NOT OK,” he states in his smooth American accent and even through his concern she can hear the honey like substance his voice drips with.

Jack is a wonderful man. He’s funny and warm, caring and compassionate, sweet and…sour...no wait that was dinner last night. FUCK!!! Focus Rose brain FUCKING FOCUS! They all seem so worried about her. It’s distracting. She looks at Jack, looks at his blue kinda violet eyes and goes to say that, no…no she’s not okay and isn’t that obvious, but instead what comes out is, “Umm…well…uh…hey who’s watching the store?”

“Clara” they all three reply in unison. Oh good Lord, they pulled Clara from class.

“Oh, okay then. At least someone’s out there to…uh…help the customers,” Rose replies.

“You’re stalling. Enough Rose, what the hell just happened?” asks Amy.

“Panic attack,” Rory states very sure of this knowledge and it’s clear he’s seen them before, knows what it was and he knew how to handle it.

“Uh…yeah,” Rose says nodding her head up and down. Bad, bad idea, no head nodding right now, it’s all pain and dizzy and bloody hell she’s gonna hurl.

“Rose? You look green. Maybe…here’s a bucket,” Amy slides the bucket to Rose and she tries to smile in thanks but it’s more of a weak grimace, she can feel it.

“Okay yeah…umm…you all deserve an explanation for my...” (Fit, temper tantrum, adolescent response to internal stimuli? STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN! She knows it's the last one but instead goes with) “behavior and I’m sorry and it will not happen at work again and it was just…just…” (Just what? What was it?) “a rough day today and again I’m so sorry. I know it was unprofessional and it likely ran off the customers and I…”

“Rose, just take a breath and explain what happened!” Amy demands.

She looks at Amy and sighs, “Okay.”

As she looks almost into the eyes of her…people, she decides it’s probably time they knew. It’s time for them to know who she really is. That scares her because once they know who Rose Tyler really is, they won’t be her people or friends/bosses/co-workers or any other box she wants to find for them, except the one box that is marked as gone.

“Umm…I don’t…uh…I don’t want to do this here. It’s a long story and not really work friendly topics,” Rose states truthfully, “Can we go…umm…I don’t know somewhere not work?”

As they all four shuffle out of the back room Clara gives Rose a small smile and goes back to making coffee for the customers…customer…him. Yep still here, so she has that going for her. Right then…no ogling and out the front door. She doesn’t see him look at her, doesn’t hear him ask Clara if she’ll be okay, doesn’t see him watching her through the window as she is being shuffled into Jack’s ridiculously large S.U.V. and driven away.

Dr. Jonathon T. Ardis sits at his desk grading papers. His door, slightly cracked open allows him to hear Professor Reinette Poisson coming into the larger room outside his office where the secretaries…no…administrative assistants (he’s been corrected by Donna now several times) have their desks. He hears her French accent, can’t really make out what she’s saying but he can hear Donna reply that he is currently on a conference call and cannot be disturbed. Bless her he thinks. He does not want to try to fight off Reinette…again. She’s very…well…(Very what? Very forward? Yes) very forward when it comes to her designs on him and he’s not really ready for that. It’s not that she is unattractive. In fact many of the professors and students are completely enthralled with her.

Reinette is a petite blonde, ice blue eyes, sweet melodious voice that speaks flawless French. She is after all a French Professor so he supposes that shouldn’t be surprising to him. Then he realizes that right there is why he is not interested in her in a more romantically inclined way, as most of the others are. To him she is ordinary, plain, simple. He thinks most people would disagree with him. Most people would say and have said to him that he should feel flattered by her attentions. She is beautiful, intelligent, well composed and completely enamored with him. He hates how she paws at him, that she bats her eyelashes and flutters her eyelids as she smiles demurely up at him. Actions he thinks would have other men falling over themselves around her.

He takes one look at her and knows, is 100% absolutely certain of the fact that there is nothing demure about Reinette Poisson. And he thinks that’s fine…for other blokes. To him it is all an act. A very well rehearsed play in which she is the damsel in distress and he’s supposed to be some…what? Knight in Shining Armor? Romeo to her Juliette? Jon can see behind her fake smiles, batty eyes and lashes. She is a snob and a pretentious one at that.

He’s heard her in her office complaining of the estate trash the University has allowed in on scholarship. How those kinds of people only bring down the University standing. They never had any type of real schooling so it’s like babysitting a bunch of untrained puppies that are always going to wee on the floor because they’ve been raised that way. Mongrels she called them and looked to him with her sweet smile and batty eyes and lashes in that “ _don’t you agree Jon_ ” look.

No, he doesn’t agree. He believes these kids from the estate bring character and individuality to the University. A different approach to lessons, class discussions and he rather enjoys teaching them. They had to work hard to get here, prove they could handle the rigorous academics and unlike the well off kids, have to maintain doing well or risk losing the scholarship that they worked so hard for. He rather likes that they are here because they want to be and because they worked for it instead of Mummy and Daddy paying for everything. So…no, he definitely disagrees with her…on most everything really. Yet she is persistent in her chase of him and he cannot understand why.

Jon hears Reinette give her little whine that he’s always busy and then hears her office door close harder and louder than is necessary. He decides now is a good time for coffee. He has stacks of papers to grade and a class at 3:00 p.m. to teach, but its only 10:30 am and he needs coffee. Well…he always needs coffee because he doesn’t really sleep. His love of coffee is why his best mate Jack opened a coffee shop. Okay, maybe not entirely but he likes to believe it’s the main reason. Sticking his head out of the office slightly he sees Donna turn and grin at him. She gives him the thumbs up that the coast is clear and he quickly scoots by her desk to the hallway.

“Bring me a coffee Space-Case,” Donna says as he’s making his getaway from the University. Okay not really the University…just Reinette.

Jon was the very first customer at H&W Coffee. Granted, the fact that the part owner is his best mate of 15 years is likely the reason he goes so far out of his way, but it is really good coffee. Also, there’s that girl…girl? “ _Woman_ ” he can hear Donna's voice snapping in his head and can almost feel the slap to the back of his head for not saying it right. He really is trying to do better with all of the new political correctness going on these days. He just forgets sometimes, but he really is trying.

He thinks about the young blonde who works for Jack. She’s been there several years now, seems reliable, responsible. She’s great with the customers and knows the store better than either Jack or Rory; which is why she’s the manager now he assumes. He knows her name is Rose and that Jack, Rory and Amy all adore her. She makes the best tea he’s ever had. She is polite and sweet if not a little hesitant and shy around men; all men he’s noticed. She doesn’t really make eye contact. She gives the illusion of eye contact but he can tell. She’s always looking just off to the left when helping male customers, him included.

Jon enters the store with a flurry of wind and rain at his back. The door closes behind him and he stands there shaking off the water in what he can only imagine looks like a wet dog coming in from a storm. He runs his hands through his hair flinging water everywhere. His hair must be a riot now, worse than normal but he just can’t find it in himself to care. He’s cold, wet and in desperate need of caffeine.

He’s going to have to talk to Jack about that electrical feeling again. Maybe it’s the lights or…well he doesn’t know but Jack should really look into it. It’s been there for a long while now, at least the last few years. Every time he mentions it though Jack says he can’t feel it. How can he not feel that? He finds an open spot near the window, places his bag in the seat and makes his way to the counter. Rose is standing there looking out the window, clearly lost in her thoughts and doesn’t notice him. As politely as possible he clears his throat and her face snaps to his.

In the 3 years that she’s worked here she has waited on him numerous times. Well…he thinks numerous but really it’s only been the last year that he’s been in with any consistency. Prior to that he was traveling; had been for a long while. Donna finally convinced him to stay stationary for a bit. “ _Not forever Jon, but just try for us, for a little while please. We miss you here._ ” So that brings us back to now and her and her face actually looking at his face.

He thinks he’s never actually seen her eyes before. He’s sure of it actually, because if he’d seen that color before it wouldn’t be shocking now. She smiles up at him and for a moment he thinks it may be real, but it’s gone so fast he isn’t sure it happened. Smiling and eye contact, both new he thinks to himself…new and…pleasant?

He orders his coffee, “Black and don’t bother with those little packets of sugar.”

“Yeah, I know,” she says, “You need the jar and even then three cups in it will need to be filled.”

She laughs, a cute, timid little noise and he smiles at her. Jon sees her see him and she lowers her gaze just a bit. She’s so good at it that other people probably don’t notice, but he does. Jon sees her body tense almost imperceptibly, sees her eyes shift just a fraction to the left as she rings him up on the register.

“£1.60,” she says, still smiling.

That smile, it’s not quite fake but not quite real either and he wants to know why. What changed in that fraction of a second? He doesn’t ask, just hands her the correct amount. He always has the correct amount.

Jon’s pretty sure she still doesn’t know about his relationship with Jack. He thinks she mustn’t because she’s the only one to ever charge him for his drinks. She hands him his coffee and the jar of sugar and he walks back over to his spot in front of the window. He takes out his laptop and starts going over his lecture for later. Glancing at the bottom of his screen he sees that its 10:54a.m, still plenty of time to avoid the office (Reinette).

He’s feeling it again, that electrical…thing, but stronger this time than any previous time he’s felt it. It’s like a gentle electrical current traveling along his spine in both directions. He thinks of the phrase 'Someone walking over your grave' but that doesn’t feel right to explain this sensation. That seems like a bad thing and this; whatever this is…is a decidedly not bad thing.

Jon knows he’s being watched. He can feel the little hairs on his neck standing at attention from the…err…attention. He stretches trying to covertly spy whoever is watching him. It’s her, the blonde gir…err woman…err Rose. She’s staring at him, that’s definitely new. She doesn’t notice him noticing her noticing him. Is that right? Does that make sense? Well I’m only talking to me and I know what I mean so…yes it makes sense…to me at least. Fuck, why am I so weird? Normally this would bother him, being stared at like this but he doesn’t think she realizes she’s doing it and that…well that’s rather cute and (and what?) flattering? Yep, he’s going with that because with her staring at him all his breath has left his body and his brain can’t seem to come up with anything else and that electrical feeling is setting his nerve endings on fire.

“I am fairly certain your sly ogling has turned to obvious staring Rose,” he overhears Amy say and watches as Rose’s attention is redirected.

Bugger, shit, fuck, ass, head and hole! Why did she do that!? Oh…but wait, did she say ogling? Ogling implies looking and not out the window. People do not ogle windows right? Do they? No, the teasing in Amy’s voice suggests she was definitely ogling him. That’s…well…bloody brilliant…yep, Molto Bene, lovely, wonderful! Wait, now what’s happening?

No Amy…don’t…don’t do that, he thinks as she leads Rose away from the register . Amy directs her to a chair next to Rory. Well that’s okay, that’s fine he can still see…well no he can’t because Amy has parked her arse right in his line of vision to Rose. FUCK! He thinks that most men would be okay with the view Amy has given him but he also thinks he’s not most men. He’s weird and off putting, clumsy around gir…err women. Babbling nonsense pours forth from his mouth in most social situations, though he is friendly, at least he thinks so; Jack tells him he is anyway and outgoing. Does Rose like outgoing people? He thinks she must if she’s friends with Jack, Rory and Amy.

Jon knows them all well and they are all outgoing, friendly people. Well, Amy does have her rather scary moments. His eyes shift back over to the table where Amy is blocking his view as she gets up to tend the register. He sees Rory talking with Rose and she does not look pleased with the conversation. Annoyed, perturbed, perplexed, ooh good word that.

His vision darts to Amy at the register and yep…bugger he’s been caught staring. Amy gives him a wicked smile and raises her eyebrows at him, waggling them at him like she knows. He’s not sure what she knows but it’s definitely something. Then he hears a giggling? Well, kind of a giggling mixed in with a choked sob sort of noise and his vision shifts back to the table with Rory and Rose. He’s not sure what he missed in the moments that Amy was waggling her brows at him but it was clearly important.

Rory is hugging Rose as she sobs and gasps into his chest. No…no…no…that should never happen. That should not be a noise that comes from her ever. Jon begins to stand, he wants to go over and see if she’s okay. He needs to ask what happened in the seconds he was looking at Amy but he sees Rory leading her away and Amy on the phone.

Jack shows up rather quickly. He doesn’t go to Jack when he comes in because he is immediately behind the register taking care of customers as Amy rushes off to the back room. Clara comes in next immediately taking over for Jack behind the counter. Jack looks over at him, smiles and starts to walk toward Jon.

“Jack, what’s going on? I thought you had meetings all day?” Jon asks curiously.

“Yeah I do, but something came up here," he replies in a rushed voice, "Look, I need to go handle some stuff but I’ll uh, I’ll see you at home later tonight ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. Go do…whatever it is you need to do,” Jon says waving his friend off.

Jack’s already through the door to the back room and it’s closing behind him before Jon has finished his reply. He thinks he’ll stay, at least for a while. He doesn’t have to be back in the office for an hour and he is rather worried about Rose. He’s not sure what happened and it’s confusing because she was fine just seconds before that. That sound she made, that giggling, choking, gasping, sobbing sound is ricocheting through his head on repeat and it’s just heartbreaking and that is confusing.

Jon doesn’t know her, not really. He knows what his friends have said about her, limited as it may be. He knows his observations of her from the store. Those are less limited; he knows he observes her quite a bit. This though…this…thing that just happened and his reaction to it, he doesn’t know that.

He goes to the counter to get another cup of coffee from Clara. His third since Rose was whisked away to the back room and decides to just ask, “So uh, Clara, what’s up with the secret meeting in the back room?”

“No clue Jon. You watched me come in. Did you see anyone give me any information?” is her very flat, succinct response and he knows that, he did see it but he was hoping she had an idea of what just happened.

He gets his coffee and as he’s preparing to walk back to his spot in front of the window they all pile out of the back room. Jack, Rory and Amy are all huddled around Rose in what he perceives as a very protective manner. He sees Rose glance in his direction and she immediately drops her eyes and walks faster out of the front door and into Jack’s S.U.V.

A stray thought for how Jack got his car here with the construction floats through, but he just dismisses it as Jack…he just does things like that. Clara gives him no information. Zip, zed, zilch and whatever other words start with Z but mean none. Jon gathers his laptop and heads back to the office. He has a class at 3:00p.m. and he needs to print off…oh he doesn’t know what he needs to print but Donna will. So, bag across his shoulders he heads out into the rain and back to work. Halfway there he remembers he forgot Donna’s coffee “Bugger, she will not be happy about that.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech in Italics is remembered conversations.

No one has said anything since they climbed into Jack’s S.U.V. Not a word…not even one. Rose thinks this cannot be a good thing. They are going to fire her. They have finally seen how crazy and stupid and how much of a fucking mess she really is and they are going to fire her. That means back to the estates, she cannot afford her place if she gets fired. Well duh Rose…you can’t afford anything if you get fired. Stupid…stupid…STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN! Look what you’ve done now! Ugh, I’m such a fuck-up, so worthless I can’t keep my shit together for an 8-hour shift…at a coffee shop…with very few customers…AHHHHH! Get it together Rose! Jesus fucking Christ, two panic attacks in like what two hours?

The S.U.V slows to a stop along the curb and she sees they have arrived at Amy’s house. That’s good, she knows Amy’s house, has been there many times…is…comfortable there. This will be easier if she is in familiar surroundings she thinks. That way when she gets fired she knows where the loo is to hide in and compose herself. They all get out and shuffle along the paved walkway to the door…still not one word from anyone. Once inside the house Rose heads straight for the living room.

“Tea, coffee, soda, beer, wine?” Amy asks everyone.

“No thanks Amy, I…I just want to get this over with,” Rose exhales in an almost whisper.

Rose has her arms wrapped around her stomach in an effort to just breathe and not vomit. Her head is down, her blonde hair curtains her face and she focuses on her shoes…no eye contact. She can’t watch their faces as she tells them all how stupid she is, how she doesn’t deserve to have friends or a job or a life of any kind really. She’s not talked about this with anyone since it happened. Well, anyone other than the courts, barristers, police and doctors. Even that was as minimal information as they would allow. Her mum doesn’t even know what happened with Jimmy. She moves to the large overstuffed chair that had become her spot when she’s here. Everyone else sits on the couch across from her. Again, Jack is the first to break the awkward silence.

“So Rose how was work today?” he asks.

Her head falls further down and her hands come up to her face. Rory sees something, it’s a scar, a really terrible scar. It starts in the middle of her skull and he tries to follow it but her hair hides the rest. How had none of them noticed that before? “Rose? Come on Rose it’s just us, look up please,” Rory’s voice is light and easy.

It's the same tone someone would use on a scared animal she thinks. Okay she fucked up, nothing new there but Rose Tyler is a woman who accepts responsibility for her actions and this is no different. She raises her head and is taken aback by the looks on her people’s faces. They don’t look angry, more worried, concerned…definitely confused. No time like the present she thinks to herself.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Okay, well…I’ve umm…I’ve not really talked about this so just…just let me get it out…all of it…then umm…yeah, then if you have questions I’ll answer what I can okay?” Rose stutters out and they all stay silent but nod their heads in acceptance of her terms.

“I…uh…I don’t really know where to start, so I guess the beginning yeah? That’s a lot though. Maybe you don’t really need the back-story but just the end result? Otherwise we could be here for quite a bit. So…umm, maybe closer to the ending rather than the beginning? Yeah, okay…um…here goes,” Rose says.

She tries, she really does. She tries to keep her head up, tries to make eye contact, tries to think of her posture…tries all the stupid shit her fucking therapist told her to do. It doesn’t help, doesn’t work, doesn’t make her feel better and she’s just scared shitless to talk about this. But her people are here and even though she hasn’t started yet as she said she was going to, no one has said anything as she asked of them. No one is pushing or rushing her. She thinks that’s nice. These people, her people…maybe they won’t hate her when this is over.

“Well, okay…um…there was this guy. He…uh had some issues but I was young, really young and stupid. So…so…so fucking stupid. My dad, he uh…he died when I was young and my mum…she …she wasn’t doing too well with it and I wasn’t doing too well with it…or her. I was angry, really angry that he was gone and I uh…I was just a terrible daughter to her and we fought all of the time and then I met Jimmy,” she says, the words coming out jumbled and way too fast.

She knows she’s babbling now, talking too fast and her throat is dry. She’s probably not making sense but she can’t slow down or it will clog her throat and she will choke on the words and then she will never explain her earlier behavior and then she will definitely get fired. So she rushes through it, babbling and not really making sense and jumping around her timeline because…FUCK…it’s just a lot, too much. So she babbles on and hopes that they are following because fired or not she is not covering this shit again…ever.

So, dead dad, bad daughter, drunken promiscuous mum, high school dropout, no A-levels. Jimmy, drugs, booze, more drugs, more fights with her mum. Moving in with Jimmy. Jimmy’s friends, Jimmy’s rules, Jimmy yelling at her, slapping her, punching her…and less nice things from Jimmy. Christmas, cops, hospitals, courts, barristers and restraining orders. Prison for Jimmy, rehab for her, “and now…um…well now here I am,” she says, sucking in oxygen so fast that she gets dizzy and sits back down. Wait, when did she get up? No, not important Rose…focus…people are here…still here.

Rose knows she was crying, knows she looks like shit, knows there is mascara and tear tracks and snot all over her face and the sleeves of her jumper but they are still here. No one has yelled or told her to leave. She takes the chance, brings her head up and before she can make eye contact like her stupid fucking therapist told her to, Amy is on her; hugging her hard and crying. Why is Amy crying?

Oh, she’s saying something. It’s quiet but she’s definitely saying something, “I’m so sorry Rose, so, so sorry that he did that to you. I love you and I think you’re lovely and wonderful and not stupid in any way and…yeah.”

Rory joins in and they’re both telling Rose that Jimmy is a worthless whack-job wanker and she is lovely and brilliant and all things wonderful. She thinks this is…well, new and rather lovely and now they’re laughing. She is laughing and Rory and Amy are laughing and Jack…is so, so, so NOT laughing. Shit! Rose stops laughing and her head is down, eyes on her shoes. She knows that look on Jack’s face. It’s rage. She had seen it on Jimmy for years and now she recognizes it on Jack. He won’t forgive her behavior, thinks it was in fact all her fault. She should have listened to Jimmy and he wouldn’t have had to punish her, put her in her place, stupid…stupid…STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN!

Jack sits across from Rose seething with rage. He watches her stand and pace back and forth as she explains in as little graphic detail as she can manage with still being honest and she’s crying. He sees the scar across her abdomen as her hands start flailing in her attempt to make it through this without totally and completely fucking shattering. He knows right then he cannot watch this. It’s too much for him. He loves Rose and to watch her go through this, as much as he thinks she needs to, it’s too much.

The verbal assault of her descriptions, of being beaten and hurt in ways that even his brain refuses to conjure images to…no, it’s just…it’s too much. So he closes his eyes and just listens. He listens as she yells and screams about Jimmy. As she begs forgiveness for her behavior at work. “Please don’t fire me,” and promises to not let it happen again. She thought she was doing better and then something happened today and she just…she doesn’t know why it affected her and she’s so, so, so sorry.

Jack knows Amy and Rory are comforting her and saying all of the right things. He knows he should be there too, but he just…he needs a minute. He thinks he hears them laughing but the blood rushing in his ears is too loud to focus on anything else. He opens his eyes and focuses. He will be angry later, right now Rose needs him and he will not let her down. He stands, breathes out and starts to walk toward Rose.

It happens so fast Amy and Rory aren’t sure what’s going on. One minute they are hugging and laughing, the next moment Rose is curled into the smallest ball Amy has ever seen a person get into, hands over her head, eyes screwed shut and she looks so small, fragile and scared and…sad. Amy looks at Jack who is walking toward Rose and is on him immediately. She pulls on his arm making him bend his ear to her mouth as Rory hovers over Rose trying to calm her.

“Jack! You have to get it together. Go into the loo and do not come back until you are composed. Look at her, now go to the mirror and look at you. Fix your shit Rose needs you,” Amy snaps at him.

Jack looks at Amy clearly not understanding her issue but she has that face on. THAT face, the one that says don’t even open your mouth, do as you’re told, do it now or there will be no safe place on this fucking planet for you to hide. Jack is not a stupid man, quite the opposite actually, so he does as he’s told. He gets into the loo and looks at himself in the mirror.

“Fucking Hell,” he mutters.

He splashes some cold water on his face and sits on the floor for a moment. No wonder Rose freaked out, he looked like he was going to kill someone. He watches himself in the mirror, maneuvers his face into a less psychotic image and heads back out to Rose. He knows by the time he gets back Amy and Rory will have reassured Rose that she will not be fired. The idea that she feels like she would be or should be fired because of what happened today makes him feel ill.

Jack knew the day he hired her that there was something in her past, something that still affected her. He knows that body language, had seen it on himself at one time. He didn’t know the particulars of Rose's situation but recognized the head down, no eye contact, voice barely above a whisper, too eager to please attitude that is tempered with the fear of not being eager enough to please and what the consequences of that would be. If anyone could understand that it would be Jack. Ok, Jack and his best friend Jon.

They have been friends, best friends for 15 years now, bonding over…a (What? What would he even call it? A totally, completely awful, violent, torturous, painful, traumatizing) shared experience. They were both young, had only just turned 18. They met on a train while exploring and traveling and just trying to find who they were. Jack thought Jon was beautiful. He still does actually, the most beautiful man he had ever seen even if he was a bit naïve. They were both running. Running from the past, running from the future, hiding in the present and just living. It was fun, if not more than a little frustrating for Jack.

He fell hard and fast for Jon. Jack loves everyone in equal measure. He doesn’t believe in these lines that societies need to draw for people to follow. If he likes someone he likes them and if he loves them he loves them and he loves Jon. Then again, Jack has loved a good many people in his life. “ _The more the merrier eh Jack_?” A distant memory flashes through his mind of Jon entering their shared room aboard the train and finding Jack naked and tangled with the couple from two rooms down and the bartender. But that was before, before River and Davros and pain and torture. Before Jack and Jon had to become men from the boys they were.

Shaking himself from his maudlin thoughts and coming back to the present he steps into the living room. Yes, he thinks; if anyone can understand what Rose needs its Jack…and Jon. He’s not sure if he’s ready to share yet. Whether that’s sharing Rose with Jon or Jon with Rose he’s not sure. Jack thinks they may be good for each other, has thought that for a while now; is still unsure why he has not introduced them.

He thinks it’s because he was hoping it would happen organically, naturally. Ok, mostly he just doesn’t want to share either of them with anyone. What happens when the two people he loves more than anything or anyone else decide they love each other? Where does that leave him? Being honest, at least with himself, he knows neither of them love him in the same way he loves them and that’s ok too he thinks. They do love him and he can get laid anytime...just not with either of them. He comes around the corner from the hallway and sees Rose.

Jack stands there for a moment looking at Rose, not wanting to frighten her again (never again). She brings her head up slightly as he rounds the corner but is not making eye contact; instead she focuses on his shoes. It won’t be her who makes the first move and he knows that. Slowly, so, so, slowly he starts to move towards her. She doesn’t move, isn’t breathing and is standing so very still as he reaches her.

He’s close enough that the toes of his boots are touching the toes of her pink chucks. Using one finger he hooks it lightly under her jaw and raises her face to his. Her eyes are screwed shut, her lips pursed and she is barely taking in breath through her nose. With his other hand he very gently places it on her cheek and softly rubs back and forth across her cheekbone with his thumb and then…he waits.

He waits for Rose to understand that she’s safe, that he’s not angry with her. He waits for the click in her brain that helps her to understand his touch is out of love and concern and friendship. He waits as she starts breathing again, her form becoming less rigid, shoulders losing some of the hard tension, legs relaxing just enough that one knee is slightly bent…and he waits. Waits for her eyes to open…there they are, waits for her to raise her vision to him…there she is and now he just waits. He will give Rose all the time she needs to understand that he loves her.

Still not making eye contact she leans forward ever so slightly. This is something he knows. Jack knows comfort, both the giving and taking, this is familiar...safe and he can do this for her. He wraps his arms around her waist and back and pulls her in. She needs this, needs him. Not in the way he wants her to but that’s ok, because he can be this for her…the way Jon was this for him…after. He spares a moments thought to wonder who did this for Jon…after. It’s a fleeting though; he needs to stay focused and here in the present for Rose.

Everything happens so fast for Rose. One moment she’s laughing in relief that she got all this out and they are still here…still her people. There is hugging and whispered words of love and comfort from Amy then Rory and more laughing and more words then…there is just Jack. The look of rage and horror on his face, the blackness in his once blue almost violet eyes and she can’t look, can’t handle it, is suddenly 16 again and that is no longer Jack in front of her it’s Jimmy.

Jimmy the first time she made him angry. Jimmy the first time he slapped her. Jimmy the first time he…well the first time for everything that happened with Jimmy. She curls into herself, protecting her body as best she can and she’s shaking. Rory is spread over her like a blanket. A warm fuzzy Rory blanket of safety and comfort and she allows it; allows him to pull her up to him and hold her. Soothing sounds and comforting words…she’s breathing again and her eyes are open and she’s not in Jimmy’s flat and she’s not being yelled at and she’s not being slapped or punched or kicked or…or…well just or.

“Rose?” its Amy and she’s using that delicate voice again.

Rose wants to hate it. That voice that tells her she’s sad and pathetic and so, so, so fucking stupid that they have to handle her like a small child. She doesn’t hate it though, doesn’t feel like they are patronizing her, doesn’t think they are just trying to calm her down so they can get the crazy girl out of the house and their lives. She turns out of Rory’s arms and into Amy’s. She hugs Amy back, tells her she’s sorry she’s such a mess and she’s so thankful to have friends like her and Rory.

Amy rubs her back, holds her close and tells her that she has nothing to be sorry for. “Life is shit for everyone,” and “We all have shit Rose. If you don’t you’re either a Nun, a Monk or fucking dead,” she says.

Rose laughs at that and the tension subsides in the room and in her body. Jack comes around the corner moving toward her and a small part of her brain knows he’s moving slowly but to her it seems fast, so fast that she thinks she may have whiplash by the time he’s holding her.

“Emotional whiplash,” she states into Jack’s chest as she clutches at him, “Is that a real thing do you think Jack?”

He’s just so relieved that she isn’t pulling away, that she isn’t scared of him, that she has somehow managed to put the pieces of herself back together enough to be her again.

“I’m…” she starts, but he interrupts her.

“No. No Rose, do not apologize, not for that and not for this. I love you. We love you and are here for you. You’re not alone Rose, never again,” he says, holding her to him firmly.

Jack sighs as she sags against him completely exhausted and whispers, “thanks,” in the smallest voice he’s ever heard.

He wants to break with her, wants to fall apart together and mesh their shattered pieces into one whole person. He thinks of how Jon never broke. He never shattered and he never came back together either. As Jack stands holding Rose years of memories rush through him. Jon coming back for him after he escaped, Jon nursing him back to health. Jon cleaning wounds and making homemade stitches, Jon feeding him, cleaning him, holding him through the nightmares both while asleep and awake. Jon grabbing his hand in the basement they are trapped in and whispering “Run, Now Jack RUN!” and they did and Jon never looked back.

Jack sees himself on the train to London with Jon terrified and sobbing, begging Jon to forgive him. Begging Jon not to abandon him when they got home, such a fucking mess. He remembers being in London with Jon, real jobs, real flat with carpets and doors and windows and rent. Always Jon, always there when he needed him to be, holding him when he can’t repress the memories anymore, cleaning up his vomit when he was too weak to do it himself, making his excuses to bosses and friends and girlfriends and boyfriends about why Jack can’t come out to play today.

In all these memories Jon is there for him; always there for him and for the first time in 14 years Jack realizes he was never there for Jon. He never held Jon while he cried and screamed from nightmares. Did Jon ever cry? He never sat by his side while the terror of what they lived through wracked his body with dry heaves because there wasn’t even bile left to come up. It was always Jon taking care of him, being there for him, making him better and slowly putting the broken pieces of Jack back together with homemade tape and stitches. Jon ever so gently easing Jack back into a world that he didn’t feel part of anymore until Jack became almost human again; passably human enough to exist.

Here, right now, 14 years later holding onto another broken life…Jack realizes for the very first time he’s ok. His nightmares left years ago. He doesn’t dwell on or really even think about the past much and when he does it’s almost like a movie now. It’s like a sick, twisted concoction of somebody’s imagination to be played out on a screen. This is new and good Jack thinks. He’s finally moved on. He’s finally better. Jon made him better. He thinks now that he’s been selfish with Jon, thinks that he will always need him, always love him, but needs to let go. Jon will never move on from him and he doesn’t want him to but he wants to see him happy. Really, finally happy and Jack cannot give him that.

It's time for him to share his toys. With that thought he holds Rose tighter, lays a kiss on the crown of her head and says, “Rose, I have a friend I’d like you to meet. Not right this moment of course but when you’re ready to bring in a new person there is someone you should get to know.”

Jack looks at Amy and Rory and they both smile at his comments because they know too, it’s time. They know Rose and Jon both, have known Jon longer of course but know Rose better…closer. They have told Jack many times to make to the introductions, told him these two people were made for each other.

“ _They would be so cute together Jack, think of the beautiful babies they would make,_ ” Amy laughed as she said it.

He thinks as this memory flutters by that she was right. Well, he thinks Amy usually is. Jack’s been selfish with both of them. Scared once they found each other they wouldn’t need or want him but he knows that’s wrong. He knows Jon will never leave him completely and that he deserves to be happy and so does Rose.

Jon enters the flat he shares with Jack, tosses his keys and wallet in the dish on the table next to the door, throws his Jacket on the coat rack in the hall and makes his way to the living room. The flat is still dark so Jack’s not back yet. He wants him to be here right now, wants to know what happened today, needs to understand why that giggle, gasp, choking sob like sound Rose made is still echoing through his mind. Jon needs to know why she made that sound. He doesn’t know why he needs to know he just does. It’s driving him mental that Jack is not fucking here in this flat…that they share…still.

“Is that weird?” Jon says out loud to himself, “Yes,” he answers himself.

Two men in their 30’s on the better side of wealthy who are not sleeping together, sharing a flat is absolutely weird, but he’s weird so maybe that’s okay. Rory and Amy don’t seem to think it’s weird. Jack certainly has made no effort to either move out or ask him to, so maybe this kind of weird is okay? Jon thinks he probably shouldn’t be alone, knows he’s rubbish by himself.

They tried, him and Jack when they first came back to London. They tried to live separately, have their own lives apart from each other. Jon was okay, “ _I’m always okay Jack,_ ” good days and bad days but that’s life right? Yes, Jon was okay after, but Jack…Jack was a mess and needed him. Needed Jon to be the strong one, needed Jon to be the one to use strips of tape and handmade stitches to try and piece Jack back together. So he did and Jon thinks that while making Jack into a whole living person again maybe he was able to fix some parts of himself too.

Eventually the insanity of a life in London just wasn’t working. It was too loud, too bright, too much of everything. So they left London and the memories behind and moved to Cardiff. It was a new town, new people, new Jon, new Jack, new everything. He entered University and Jack…well Jack did what Jack does. He found people. Amazing people sometimes but always transient, never lasting…only him. Only Jon was a fixture in Jack’s life and the reverse was also true.

Except it wasn’t true, not really. There was Donna. Jon had tried to shake her off with the rest of his past but she just wouldn’t go away and he laughs at that thought. God, he loves that gir…err…woman.

While Jack was out meeting new people, making new…um…friends? Is that what they were? No, Jon decides, not friends, conquests. While Jack was…uh…conquering, Jon placed all of his attention on his studies. Any time not spent taking care of Jack was spent rushing through as many classes as he could as fast as he could. Jon is brilliant. Insanely intelligent, always was. He knew from a very young age that he was far more intelligent than most if not all of his instructors in school. So, testing out of whatever classes he could he rushed his education gaining his doctorates in a record amount of time and set out to start his new life.

At 24 years old Jon had two doctorates and a stable job. He and Jack had a posh flat, new cars, clothes, friends…kind of but not really and a whole new life. Jack was always out, always bringing home men, women or both; always trying to get Jon out: out of the office, out of the flat, out of his clothes, out of his own head.

“ _Come on Jon, she’s really cute and nice and fun, you could do with some fun,_ ” so he went to the bar for the blind date Jack had set him up on.

He hadn’t been on a date in years, even longer since he’d been intimate with anyone, not since…well not since before and never after. He did try though, with Astrid. He wanted to be normal, wanted to be touched, wanted to touch and he really did try. Several weeks after their first meeting at the bar he had seen Astrid a few times. Jack was right she was cute. A petite blonde, green eyes, great legs and she was nice.

“ _It’s Okay Jon, slow is fine,_ ” she told him after he shied away from kissing her and she was fun, “ _Oh Jon,_ ” she'd giggled, “ _No One will ever know it was us that TP’d the dorm._ ”

“ _I’m a professor here Astrid, this is where I work_ ,” Jon replied sharply.

“ _Yes Jon and you are at least 15 years younger than the rest of the professors here. It’s okay to have fun. You’re young, foxy, brilliant, sweet, funny and I…I really want to be with you,_ ” Astrid said running her hand along his cheek.

So he tried. He tried for her and he tried for Jack because it’s what real people do right? Have a life; share a life with someone, someone more than their pan-sexual but completely platonic best-mate? So he tried and he failed. Several months (7) into the relationship with Astrid she made it very clear that she'd had her fill of slow. There had been some kissing, some heavy petting and Jon had tried to make it good for her. Now though, she was done with slow, done with waiting and done with making out like awkward teens. Trying to be normal, wanting desperately to be a fucking normal human being again, he stopped on his way home from the University and bought a box of condoms.

Jon tried to do this right for her. He made a whole production of the evening. An expensive restaurant for dinner, upscale bar for drinks and dancing, hand holding, a walk through the park on the way back to his posh shared flat where there is more wine and roses waiting for her in his (Jack’s) room. He'd thought he was ready for that. It’s not like he was a virgin, he wasn't; it had just been a while. Before River and Davros and that year that he likes to pretend never happened he was normal. He was a normal young bloke doing normal young bloke things, which of course included sex. So no, he was not a virgin, just out of practice. From 15-18 years old he made Jack look like a Monk. He could not count the amount of girls he had been with before that year and sex was like riding a bike. Doesn’t matter how long it’s been you never really forget how to do it. Right?

Okay, not so much like riding a bike. It was more like trying to get on a too tall unicycle with all the finesse of a newly born giraffe. He was clumsy, sweaty, breathing very hard and not in the, “look what you do to me,” kind of hard breathing…more, “ _please put your clothes back on and take me to hospital because I think my heart is coming out my throat and I can’t breathe,_ ” kind of way.

Right there in the middle of his kitchen reaching into the cupboard for tea, Jon snaps back to the present. He pulls himself from his memories of Astrid and his failed attempts at relationships since then and reality reasserts itself around him…and he is so bloody stupid! He replays the events at the shop from earlier. Closing his eyes and focusing on Rose…just Rose. He is desperately trying to block out everything else from the scene playing in his head. He remember her smile that’s not quite real and not quite fake, the momentary eye contact before she hides herself away and the small laugh she lets loose as she flirted? Is that what she was doing? He wants to think so and that stops him completely.

Does he want Rose to flirt with him? He doesn’t really know her. He’s asked Jack many times to make introductions, has been told by Amy and Rory how wonderful she is, how they think him and Rose would be great together.

“ _As friends, just friends Jon, we know you don’t do relationships. Are you asexual? I’ve never seen you with anyone? I mean, we don’t mind, no judging here, nope no judginess from us,_ ” Amy had said as she smiled at him and he believed her, they weren't judging him, just curious and who wouldn’t be.

He’s in his mid-thirties, good job, good flat, he’s fit; well, he thinks he’s scrawny and rather nerdish. Okay…he’s been told he’s rather fit even Amy and Rory have said so, “ _In a very geek chic, porcupine hair, I just had my favorite puppy kicked kind of way, but there has to be someone out there that’s into that. I mean it takes all types to make the world go round’ Jon, just look at Jack. Look at Amy and me. The secret is to find someone who is equally messed up, equally broken inside. We all have our shit, we just have to find someone who can handle your and vice versa,_ ” Rory had told him.

He doesn’t know why Jack hasn’t introduced him to Rose. Jack talks about her all the time; relays stories of her from the shop or on nights when he manages to drag her out. He knows that Jack is very fond of her, thinks he may even love her. The first two years that she worked at the shop without Jack introducing them wasn’t really an issue for Jon. He just assumed that it was because he was gone so frequently. He was traveling for work and did not really have time for friends beyond Jack, Donna, Amy and Rory. He’s been home now for a year and he still hasn’t gotten the introduction though.

It bothered him at first that Jack refused to allow him to meet Rose. That he kept that part of his life from him and Jon didn’t understand why. Eventually he asked Jack what his issue was. Jack replied that he wasn’t ready for them to meet yet. They were the two most important people in his life and it scared him that something would change once the two’s became three’s.

“ _Jon listen, I love you, you know I love you. I’m not trying to keep this part away from you. I just need to keep this part to myself for a little while. Rose is special. She’s not like other people that I bring around,_ ” Jack had said to him.

“ _This is absurd. Are you worried I’m going to steal her from you? Because let’s be honest here, I’m really not a Lothario or a Casanova,_ ” he replied sarcastically.

Jack stood there silently. His hands in his pockets, eyes cast down toward his shoes and so quietly Jon almost couldn’t hear him he said, “ _No Jon. I know you would never steal her but I’m afraid that I’ll give her to you and then lose her completely._ ”

Jon had no clue what he meant or how to respond to that so he said, " _Yeah…yeah okay, whenever you’re ready._ ”

That was just over 6 months ago and Jon hadn’t made mention of it since. He was at the shop every day. He saw her 5 out of the 7 days he went there and never once had she shown any indication that she knew who he was to Jack or Amy and Rory. That’s definitely weird he thought.

_“Amy?”_

_“Yes Jon?”_

_“Does Rose not know who I am?”_ he asked with curiosity.

 _“Well…depends on what you mean I spose’. She knows you’re a loyal customer and she thinks you’re hot,”_ she said with a wicked grin.

 _“What…wait!? What?”_ he said rapidly, his voice reaching a ridiculously high pitch. It hadn’t gone that high since that time in primary school when he was kicked in his…well not since then.

Amy’s smile was huge and a little scary as she looked at him floundering and heard his high-pitched teenage girl I just saw Justin Bieber voice. _“Did she…uh…did she say that to…to you?”_ he'd asked Amy with one hand worrying his wonky ear and the other shoved in his pocket.

 _“No, not directly”_ she replied, _“but Rose is a babbler and a mumbler. She says things when she rants that I don’t think she knows she's saying and she mumbles to herself while she’s working. When she was cleaning and clearly off in lala land mumbling to herself she may have mentioned the hottie professor or banker or real estate agent that comes in everyday uses all the sugar and never says anything to anyone,”_ she'd said amused.

 _“How…uh…how do you know she meant me?”_ he'd asked.

 _“I first heard her mumbling about it before you were back permanently. Then when you did come back home you’d come in everyday. She had this rant after you left one day because one of the new servers was complaining about some arsehole taking up her table staring at her bosses arse but couldn’t be bothered to clean up even a little after 3 hours of non-stop coffee service,”_ she'd said and laughed...a lot. _“She’s asked about you ya know.”_ Amy said still giggling.

 _“Yeah? No…I…uh…I didn’t know that actually,_ ” he’d replied and he blushed then. He could feel it, the tips of his ears were hot and it spread down his face and neck.

 _“Yeah, she’s asked about you several times now but we have been instructed that it’s not time yet for you to…meet,”_ she finished haltingly.

 _“Huh,”_ was Jon’s clever reply.

 _“You are so cute when you blush Jon…just afuckingdorable really,”_ Amy grinned to him.

 _“I don’t think that’s a real word Amy,"_ he’d replied with a small smile as she wandered off still laughing at his expense.

He’s standing in his kitchen drinking his tea (When did he make that?). Every memory of every interaction with Rose and every story he’s heard about her slams through him with a gale wind force. She’s beautiful he thinks. The kind of beauty a person has when they don’t know they are beautiful. She’s always smiling at the customers even if it is a not quite real, not quite fake smile and she’s always willing to help…well…everyone he thinks. Stay late? Sure. Come in early? Sure. Work every day until I can get a decent staff? Sure. _“I’ll do whatever you need Jack. I want this to be a success to ya know."_

He thinks about her hair and how it’s clearly out of a bottle but she makes it work. She’s never in fancy dress even when Jack takes her somewhere that she should be, he’s seen the pictures. Pictures, he wonders now if he could see them again. He wonders if in the pictures she takes when she’s out with her friends if her smile is real? If it makes her eyes light up? Her eyes, he’s never seen that color before. It’s like cinnamon but not…or maybe a burnt sugar? She’s definitely fit and he’s definitely noticed.

She’s all curvy and soft. Her skin is a very pleasant pink, not the alabaster white that Reinette paints herself. It’s a very light pink that is…perfect…goes perfect with her not quite golden hair. She wears a lot of mascara and kohl on her eyes but he thinks it just makes the color stand out more. She’s maybe in her early to mid-twenties. To young he wonders? But no, he thinks he’s just cocked up enough that a woman his age wouldn’t be willing to put up with him. Then all of the dissected pieces of her come back together in his mind. Her hair, her eyes, her smile-faint but no less lovely because of it and he thinks maybe he would like to try and make it a real smile. Jon wonders what she would looked like unbroken, whole and lovely and beautiful.

He wonders if maybe he can do that for her and maybe if she can do that for him. He wants that…to be a whole person again. “Yes, I do hope she was flirting with me today,” he says to no one. He decides to ask, beg and grovel at Jack’s mercy to finally let them meet. Yep, he thinks he’s ready for that. Because he knows now, knows what happened at the shop to Rose. No, he doesn’t know all the details. He doesn’t know the whens and the whys but he knows what that was today.

The spark of recognition from his first attempt at being a real, whole person with Astrid, that’s what he saw today with Rose. A spark of life and the all-consuming fire of her pain or guilt or whatever it is she carries within her, her “shit,” as Rory had stated to him. He can do this. This is something he knows intimately. He thinks he could fix her and she could very likely fix him if she and Jack would just let it happen.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech in Italics is remembered conversations.

Consciousness comes slowly to her sleep addled brain. Rose has never done well with mornings. Okay, she’s never been good at waking up, doesn’t really matter what time of day it is. She is warm and cozy and doesn’t want to leave so she fights being awake, tries to pull the pillow over her eyes to block out the morning sun coming in through the window but it won’t move. It’s stuck on something. She tugs a little harder to try and dislodge it before she’s completely awake but instead of a pillow she pulls down…an arm?

“Wha…What!?” she says, trying not to freak out but she cannot think of a reason there would be an extra arm in her bed.

Wait, this isn’t her bed. It’s definitely time to start freaking out then! Rose bolts upright in the bed eyes wide and searching. She looks around the room and it seems familiar. She looks at the arm she’s still holding and follows it up to…Oh…its Amy’s arm. Breathing slowing down, Rose looks at the girl next to her and then turns her head the other way and yep…there he is…Rory in only his pants. He has one arm lodged around her waist and the other under his pillow stretching across so that his palm is lying on the top of Amy’s head. Oh! Rory is in his pants…just his pants and curled up behind her and this is the most skin she’s seen (that is not her own) in (she looks at her watch) 5 years, 12 days, 2 hours and 3 minutes.

Rose blushes. She can feel the heat starting in her face and spreading out to her ears and down to neck and chest. She closes her eyes (Deep breath in, deep breath out) and tries to stop the heat that is flooding her features. Opening her eyes she looks over at Amy. Blankets cover her mostly but Rose can see her shoulder and realizes that she’s not wearing a top. Rose can see the straps of Amy’s bra but no shirt. She looks back and forth between Amy and Rory and hesitantly raises the cover off of Amy just enough to see under but not enough to wake her. No pajamas bottoms. Amy is lying next to her in just her bra and knickers and Rory in just his pants and yes, yes she is definitely starting to freak out now.

Dropping the blanket she looks back and forth between her bed mates and reaches out to gently wake Amy. Rose places her hand on her uncovered shoulder and softly tries to shake her awake without disturbing Rory. She most definitely cannot deal with a mostly naked Rory right after waking up. Amy starts to come to; her eyes blinking rapidly as she takes in the scene around her.

Clarity sets in and Amy looks up to Rose, “Come back to sleep Rose. Jack gave us all the day off and it’s too early to be up if we’re not getting paid,” Amy says as she tries to pull her back down into bed. She allows herself to fall back into bed and is on her side facing Amy’s back. Amy turns in the bed so they are face to face and says, “Hey, you okay? You look…I don’t know, it’s too early to come up with something funny right now. What’s wrong?”

“Amy,” Rose replies in a hushed voice, “Umm…why are you and Rory naked?”

An unhappy groan from her other side lets her know Rory has woken up as well. “We’re not naked. I am in my pants and Amy is in her under things which means not naked,” he grunts.

Amy laughs at Rory and says, “You’ve seen more than this when we go to the beach relax and go back to sleep.”

Yeah, that’s not going to happen thinks Rose. Her brain is running at a zillion miles a second trying to remember why she would be in bed with Amy and Rory in only their undergarments when a startling thought freezes her brain and breathing and…well everything. Slowly Rose drags the cover up just enough to look under at herself (PLEASE, PLEASE let me be wearing clothes!) to find…well there’s clothes, just not a lot of them. She’s in knickers and a t-shirt and…nope just knickers and a t-shirt…not her t-shirt she realizes.

“Yes, right. Well, why am I almost naked then?” she asks either or both. She really doesn’t care who answers but she is starting to have trouble breathing again and she needs to know what happened last night.

“Ugh, bloody hell Rose. We’ve only been asleep for 4 hours,” Rory growls while rolling out of bed and making his way to the en suite.

Once the door closes Rose looks to Amy and says quietly, “Um, did we uh…ya know…did something happen last night with us?”

At first Amy’s confused. Then she realizes what Rose is asking, a hysterical bark of laughter starts coming from her throat. She rolls off the bed and doubles over, arms crossed over her stomach and headed towards the en suite door. In-between fits of laughter she starts pounding on the door, “Rory, Rory hurry up! I’m gonna wee myself!”

As the en suite door opens and Rory comes back out Amy rushes in and the door slams back closed. Rose can still hear her laughing from inside the room. Rory, now wrapped in Amy’s dressing gown looks ridiculous as he smiles up at her and says, “What’d I miss? What’s so funny?” He looks over at Rose. Her head is lowered and her eyes are shut and her bottom lip is trembling just slightly, “Rose what’s wrong?”

“What happened last night? Why are we mostly naked? Where are my clothes and how did I get into this?” Rose whimpers as she picks at the hem of the t-shirt she’s wearing.

Rory can see she’s about to cry and registers the confusion on her face. He crosses the room to where she’s still sitting in the bed and flops down next to her. He grabs her hand and starts running his thumb in slow soothing motions across the back of it, “Rose, look at me,” he sees her glance over in his direction, “Nothing happened last night. At least not what you’re thinking,” he says with a cheeky smile. She’s still hesitant to even look at him.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Rory asks.

“Well…um,” she tries to conjure up memories of yesterday and last night. She remembers coming to Amy’s after freaking out at work. She remembers telling them about Jimmy, remembers none of them being angry with her. Jack saying there was someone he wanted her to meet, Jack leaving to go home, Amy making enchiladas for dinner while her and Rory watched some lame movie about robots, the future and living ATM machines. She remembers wine, lots of wine, card games and laughing and…nothing after that. “I don’t remember anything after wine and cards.”

“Yes well I am not surprised. You had a lot of wine. I’ll fill you in on the rest of the night okay?” he replies softly.

She breathes a sigh and says, “Yeah, thanks."

“So let’s see, after cards and wine there was more wine and then Amy lit a joint and we all got pretty high,” he laughs, “Then you got sick and I mean sick Rose. I’m a nurse and even I had a hard time not sicking up after that.”

Rose pulls her hands up to cover her face, “Oh God, I’m so sorry. I don’t usually drink and I haven’t smoked weed in years!” she says, embarrassed and blushing again.

“No worries, but that’s why you’re in Amy’s t-shirt and you’re knickers. You’re jeans and top were covered in sick and Amy helped you change and wash up, then you just crawled into the bed and passed out,” Rory smiles to her.

Amy comes back out of the en suite just then and has finally stopped laughing, “Rose sweetie, listen. You know Rory and I have rules about that sort of thing. Yes, occasionally we may bring a third or even a fourth party into our bed, but they are not our friends. It’s never people we have real relationships with and we would never invite someone who was as messed up as you were last night," she states firmly.

Rose expels a huge sigh of relief. She knows that, she does. Rose knows Amy and Rory well enough to know that they like to have a good time but would never do anything like that. She starts calming down, breathing a little more regular and opens her eyes.

“You’re right. I know you’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just…well it’s been a bit since I’ve woken up like this. Okay, I have never actually woken up quite like this, but yeah…um…sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that you would do that with me. It’s just,” she's interrupted by laughter before she can finish.

Rory starts laughing and Rose looks up to see why. He’s looking at her and smiling, “Rose, if we didn’t love you as much as we do we would definitely do that with you. In fact shortly after you started at the shop Amy asked about doing just that, but I said no.”

At first Rose is shocked by his admission. Shock turns to flattery and flattery turns to relief. Before she can stop herself the words are just there. Right there out in the open instead of staying inside her head like normal person. “Why?” NO! NO! NO! Stupid, stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN!

“Several reasons actually,” replies Rory and he doesn’t seem upset that she questioned him.

He seems willing to answer her so she pushes forward, “And those reasons would be?” she asks.

Amy is the one to answer and she turns towards her voice, “You’re his employee Rose, which is reason number one. Reason B is that not only are you his employee but you are the best employee he has and I am including myself in there even though I’m really more of a volunteer than an employee. The biggest reason though is because it just doesn’t really seem like your scene. I mean we’ve known you for over 3 years and have never even seen you go on a date. We know a little more today than yesterday but we would never want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, definitely not my scene,” Rose replies blushing.

“Although,” Rory says smiling back at her, “That is a lovely shade of pink you’re wearing today Rose and again if we didn’t love you so much and want you to remain part of our life, then that is something we would have tried to get you to do,” he leans in and places a very soft kiss on her cheek, “but by this point it would be like fucking my sister and though Amy and I can get pretty kinky that is not involved in our…err playbook.” Amy shoves him and laughs as she leans over to kiss Rose’s other cheek.

“Oh, well that is good to know. I mean that you would have…if you didn’t like me so much. Which is nice and I really am so happy that you guys are still here and still want to be my friends after what happened yesterday and…”

“Okay Rose, you’re babbling again,” giggles Amy.

“So um, Jack said there was someone I should meet? He’s not like trying to make me see a therapist right? Cause um, I actually have one of those and as you can see from yesterday her advice is clearly doing a splendid job of keeping my fucked up Rose brain from doing fucked up Rose things and”

Amy interrupts her again, “ROSE, stop. You’re not fucked up!”

Rose looks at her, doubt showing across her still slightly pink features, “Okay, yes. You are fucked up but we’re all fucked up. As Rory tells everyone the key is to find people who can handle your shit and whose shit you can handle, right babe?”

“Definitely,” he replies, “it’s not about finding a soul mate or the perfect person or THE ONE because no person is perfect. We all have our demons under the bed and skeletons in our closets. Whether you’re looking for someone to spend your life with intimately, just as friends or a makeshift family the goal is not to be perfect or find someone who is perfect but someone who is fucked up and broken but perfect for you,” he states as though this should be an obvious concept to her.

Rose leans back against the headboard making sure that she is fully covered by the blankets, looks up to her friends and says, “So, tell me about this new person that Jack wants me to meet.”

Jon wakes up and looks to his bedside clock, “Almost a full 3 hours of sleep,” he mumbles quietly. He tries desperately to hold on to the dream that is slipping away. He knows it was about Rose, but it’s fading so fast and all he can conjure up is the image of what he thinks her real smile might be. Sighing he makes his way to the loo to start his day mentally preparing himself for his talk with Jack. He’s running conversations over in his head as the hot water pours down his back. Jon has to convince him that he could be good for Rose and maybe she could be good for him. He doesn’t want to be alone anymore and thinks he’s finally ready to move forward from their past. Jack loves him, wants him to be happy and has pushed him for years now to find someone.

 _“Someone Jon, anyone. It’s been years since you’ve even tried. How long ago was your date with Joan? You won’t give Reinette the time of day and I can’t even get you to try and hook up at the clubs. It’s time Jon. Even Donna is starting to push you so you know it’s time,”_ Jack had said.

 _“It’s all very well and good that you and Donna think it’s time but I’m the only one who really knows right? Don’t worry, when I’m ready I’ll let you know,”_ he had replied at the time.

As that conversation flits through his memories he remembers Jack saying how special Rose is to him, how she’s not just some slag at the bar he picked up and she needs to be treated properly. He thinks maybe all he needs to do is let Jack know that yes, he is in fact ready to move forward. Jon’s not sure he can ever move on from what happened but he wants to move forward from it. Jack has and he may be a little jealous of that. Well, maybe more than a little jealous he thinks. He grimaces at himself when he realizes how true that statement is. He is actually very jealous of Jack’s ability to so easily find and connect with people, but he thinks the people Jack finds are still transient. They are always fleeting and never staying more than a night or two. Jon doesn’t want that.

He wants a life, a proper life that he can share with someone. Lazy Sunday mornings in bed, traveling and holidays, anniversaries and birthdays, hand holding and funny photos, a home, a proper home, maybe even a pet (would Rose want a pet?) or maybe one-day…children (does Rose want children?). Jon’s never thought about having children of his own before. First he was young, much too young to even consider it and then he was much too broken to think about it. Now though he wonders if that’s something Rose may want…house, kids, pets…a life. A proper life shared with someone who wants what you want and who needs you the way you need them. The water turns cold, distracting him for his thoughts and he lets out a yelp while fumbling to turn off the shower. He’s getting ahead of himself he knows he is. He hasn’t even had a proper conversation with her, doesn’t know anything about her really. He worries he’s building up a fantasy of Rose in his head and now she won’t live up to it.

“But…no,” he mumbles to himself, “there is something there.” He’s sure of it because it’s been 14 years since River and Davros. It’s been 10 years since Astrid, 7 since Tegan, 4 since Joan and the few others that he tried to be a real person with. None of those people, whom he truly did try with, had made him feel anything like that small smile from Rose the previous day.

Jon also remembers the electrical sensation that started at the base of his spine and spread out from there as she watched him. That feeling has been there since he first saw. He had always thought it was something with the lighting. It was different yesterday though, more intense. He doesn’t know what it is, but if she can make him feel like that just from staring at him then he is very excited to see what she can make him feel with a real interaction. Feel, he thinks he wants that…to feel and he thinks that may have been the issue with the other women. They didn’t make him feel anything. It dawns on him that he’s still standing in the shower and he is freezing!

Grabbing a towel off the warmer he starts drying himself off. He walks over to the sink and shaves, brushes his teeth and then starts working on his hair. It takes a good 20 minutes to get his hair right and he considers that a win. Well, anything under 35 minutes for his hair is a win and he smirks at that. Showering, shaving, teeth and hair all complete he opens the door and heads into his room. He hears a wolf whistle from over by the window and looks to see Jack standing there smiling his huge grin at him, all sparkly teeth and big blue eyes.

“Lookin’ damn fine Professor!” he exclaims pushing himself off the wall, heading in Jon’s direction.

“Please don’t call me that, you know I hate it,” Jon replies.

I do know,” Jack states, “which is part of the reason I do it.”

“I’m uh…I’m glad you’re here actually. I had something I wanted to discuss with you,” Jon says quietly.

“Yeah, there’s something I need to talk to you about as well,” Jack mutters just as softly.

In stereo they both say quite fast, “I think it’s time I meet Rose.”

“I think it’s time you meet Rose,” they both smile and Jack says, “Glad to see we’re on the same page here Professor.”

Jon stares back at him momentarily stunned. He thought this was going to be more difficult. It’s not like he hadn’t asked before, “Why now?” Jon asks curiously.

“It’s time. Time for you, time for me and after yesterday I think it’s time for her too. I know I have been selfish with the both of you, but I’m not sorry about it. It wouldn’t have worked before. You weren’t ready to be what she needs and she was not and may still not be ready to be what you need. I love you Jon and that makes this very simple. I want you to be happy. It’s never going to be me that makes you happy but...”

Jon interrupts him then, “You know that’s not…”

“No, let me finish. For many reasons I have come to discover over the last few years, I know that I’ll never be the one to make you happy and I don’t think you would make me happy either. We’re better as friends. I get that. I’m finally ok with that even, but yesterday I realized it’s the same with Rose. I love her; have loved her for a while now, but I could never make her happy. Not in the long term anyways. I’m not the kind of guy she needs and as much as I love you both, I have come to understand that neither of you are who I need either. You want one person you can share your life with. I don’t think I’ll ever be that kind of person,” Jack says resignedly.

Jon makes his way over to Jack and hugs him close and tight and says quietly in his ear, “I am spending my life with you. I’ve spent the last 15 years by your side and I’m not going anywhere but yeah you’re right. We’re looking for different things, uh…romantically.”

Jack pulls back slowly from the embrace. He looks into Jon’s face and waggles his eyebrows and chuckles. “So,” he starts, “You’re looking for someone to be romantic with eh?” and he starts laughing, a huge raucous laugh right in Jon’s face, “Oh for Christ sake, all of the shit we’ve been through in our lives and still you can’t say that you want to get laid?!”

Shocked and sputtering for a reply Jon can feel the tips of his ears getting hot as he looks over at Jack who is still laughing. Jon becomes quiet and says, “That’s just it, I’m not wanting to get laid as you so eloquently put it. Really, if that’s all it was I could just have one of the slags you drag home for the clubs. This is more than that, or rather I need it to be more than that.”

Jack quits laughing and looks at Jon with not quite amusement in his eyes. He smiles and says, “Ok, but I gotta warn you, I knew when we hired Rose that she had some issues but after yesterdays breakdown and I still have no clue as to what caused that...”

“Me,” Jon sputters, “It was me. I think…I think it was my fault.”

“What? What could you have done?” Jack asks.

“I just, well, I didn’t do anything per se. She flirted with me, just a little and then everything went wonky and I don’t understand. One minute she was smiling and laughing, then the next thing I know Amy caught me staring, waggled her eyebrows at me and everything went to shit from there. Then you showed up and I suppose you know the rest. Wanna fill in the blanks for me?” he asks.

“No.” Jack’s firm response lets Jon know not to push, “She’s a good girl but she’s been fucked over and fucked up six ways from Sunday ya know? It’s not my place to tell you about her shit any more than it’s my place to tell her about yours.”

“Right yeah, course. I uh…I know that’s right,” he mutters as he claps a hand on Jack’s shoulder and starts heading toward the closet for some clothes.

“Listen Jon, you took all the broken pieces of me and stitched and glued me back together the best you could and I will never be able to thank you enough for that. I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t come back for me but one broken man trying to glue his own pieces back together while also gluing me back together, you did the best you could. Rose, she took what you started and made me better. I’ve been so selfish,” he holds his hand up in an effort to stop Jon from denying it, “No just listen. I have been, but I think I needed to be and that sounds terrible I know it does. But I think you’re stronger than me. You would have survived without me. The same cannot be said for me. I was a fucking mess. A barely breathing shell of a human carcass by the time we made it back to London. Did you ever cry? Have you ever cried over what happened? Has anyone ever done for you what you did for me? Because without you I would not have survived and I don’t just mean escaping. The aftermath was almost if not worse than that year Davros had us. You never wavered, never stumbled or fell, never gave up on me, never left me. For a long time I was scared that you would, that you would get tired of fixing me and leave but you never did. I couldn’t have done that. So you fixed me as much as you could and then Rose, she’s just…she’s such a good person ya know? She’s compassionate and caring and accepting and just Rose. She took what you fixed and made it, me better. Now I think maybe she can do that for you. Maybe she can take what’s been taped and glued and stitched together and make you better. Maybe you can do that for her like you both did for me. So yeah, I think it’s time for introductions but she has to be ready too. I’ll talk with her later and see where she’s at ok?”

“Yeah, course, I would never…” Jon starts.

“I know you would never but still, I need to talk with Rose first and see where she is since last night. When I left Amy and Rory were getting her good and pissed,” he laughs, “So, she may not be feeling up to new people today,” Jack says leaving the room.

Jon still has papers to grade and classes to teach and he thinks he needs a more reasonable voice, he thinks he needs Donna. He needs to seek out someone’s opinion that he trusts but doesn’t know all the gory details of his life. Someone who can tell him if he’s really as ready as he feels without all of the crap that comes into play when conversing with Jack. Donna is the only person in his life that he can go to besides Jack and he trusts her thoughts and opinions. She has after all known him even longer than Jack.

She has just always been there for as long as he can remember. Jon tried to ditch her. Yes, he knows that’s a harsh way to put it but here in his own room alone with his own thoughts he knows that's exactly what it was. He wanted to dump or ditch anything from his life before. Before he became broken and scared and preferred to be alone because it was safer. Safer for him, safer for whomever he was around…just safer. She’s also the only one who knows who he really is; knows where he’s from and how falling in love could change his life and not necessarily for the better.

“Listen here ya French Bint, I already told ya he’s not in his office yet!” Donna snaps.

“How dare you speak to me in such a manner! Do you have any idea who I am? I will have you fired and permanently removed from this campus Ms. Noble,” Reinette says in a haughty tone.

He knows its Donna and knows exactly the French Bint she’s snapping at. Jon sighs as he realizes there is nothing for it; he will have to deal with Reinette today. This has gone on long enough and he will not allow her to threaten Donna’s position here. Not that she really is a threat to her position. After all, it’s in his contract that he hires and fires his secreta…administrative assistants. He plasters on his best smile and walks through the doors leading to the larger room where the offices are contained. He walks over to Donna’s desk and places her coffee down on her coaster.

“Not H&W today then?” she asks, grabbing her cup.

“Nah was running a bit behind. I didn’t have time to go that far out of the way but I did remember to get your coffee,” he says smiling at her.

“Yeah, coffee I asked for yesterday Space-Case!” Donna snaps at him playfully.

“Yes well, err…right, better late than never?” he replies sheepishly.

“Jon?” he hears Reinette’s voice and it sends shivers up his spine and not the good kind shivers, not Rose shivers.

That’s what he’s decided to call that feeling he had yesterday. Rose shivers, he likes it…thinks it’s cute and maybe she’ll think it’s cute too and,” WHACK! “Oi! What the bloody hell was that for?” he snipes at Donna.

“Oi! Don’t you talk to me like that Space-Case! I’ll knock your block into next week I will,” she says loudly.

“Donna, what does that even mean and why did you hit me…again?” Jon snaps back at her.

“Madame Possion over there was trying to speak with you,” she drawls with no small amount of contempt emphasized on Reinette’s name.

“Right, right. Yes Reinette, how may I help you this lovely fine day?” He knows what she wants from him. She’s incredibly obvious about it but he prefers to just play stupid with these gir…err…women who seem intent on flirting with him. He thinks if he just plays stupid long enough they will eventually go away. It usually works.

It worked with Martha but Reinette is persistent. He’s been back over a year now and she still has not gotten the idea that he is just not interested in her. Oh, she’s talking again and he’s missed it…again, “I’m sorry Reinette. I have a lot on my mind today. How can I help you?” he says again.

“Jon, can we talk privately?” she asks glaring at Donna.

“Uh…sure, come into my office,” he says holding the door open for her.

“Merci Jon,” she smiles up at him with her batty lashes and blue eyes. He tries so hard to stifle the sigh of frustration that is working its way up his throat. Jon nods toward the door and follows her through.

Once in the office he steers Reinette to the chair in front of his desk then comes around the other side and flops into his own chair. He’s being intentionally standoffish, acting as if he has no idea why she’s there. He looks at her expectantly and after a minute or so of uncomfortable staring he says, “Okay Reinette, what’s up? I do have other things to get to today so we need to move this along.” He’s being cold. He can hear it in his voice, feel it in his posture but he’s so sick of these games she is insistent on playing with him.

“Jon, I was wondering if you’re going to the faculty party?” Reinette asks with too much sweetness lacing her voice.

“I am,” he replies in short order.

“Alone?” she queries back at him.

He has a few options in this moment: Option A) “Yes alone,” and politely decline her advances…again. Option 2) “No, I won’t be going alone. In-fact I have a date for the event,” and maybe that will be enough to deter her. But no, he doesn’t want to lie to her and he doesn’t have a date…yet. He goes with option C) - the truth.

“Reinette, I know where this is going but I’m not interested. I have tried to be more tactful about this but it appears that bluntness is the only thing you understand. So no, I do not want to be your date to the faculty party or any party…ever. I’m sorry if that is upsetting, but I don’t think we are well suited to each other. Please don’t take offense to that. It doesn’t mean that you’re not smart or pretty and I’m sure you a lovely gir…err…woman but I don’t see anything of a future here and to string you along would be wrong. Is there anything else you needed to discuss? As I said I have a lot to do today,” he says all of this very flatly, no emotion, completely monotone and that makes Reinette livid. Jon looks up to see that she understood him this time as her eyes bore into him. He feels ice run through his veins at that look.

“I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. Did you just turn me down? That cannot be what just happened here. You should be appreciative of any attention I choose to show you!” Reinette almost screams at him.

Her voice is becoming louder the longer she talks and he can see she’s working up to a proper fit. He thinks he should stop her. Maybe remind her that his office door is still open so she doesn’t embarrass herself any further but as he has that thought she continues.

“How dare you! Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea the amount of hell I can rain down upon your arse?! You are telling me…Reinette Poisson no?! You? Who is nothing more than a low life, bottom feeding, worthless excuse for a real man who hasn’t had a woman the entire time you’ve been here!? You’re telling me no!?” and yep, there it is…a proper fit as well as the true Reinette shining through.

No amount of make-up, blue eyes, batty lashes and posh clothes is going to hide who and what she is now. There are 10 offices in this corridor. 8 professors plus them and all 10 secretari…err…bugger…administrative assistants. Everyone one of them is standing just outside his open office door listening to the two of them. This will be all over the University by lunch. Jon’s fine with that he thinks. After all he’s not the one acting in such a scandalous manner. She still hasn’t noticed the open door and she is still yelling at him. As he tunes back into her rant he hears her screaming about the estate trash he allows in his classes and he was never worth her time anyway and how she was being generous allowing him to spend time with her!

He tries to cut her off before she slits her own throat, tries to explain that the door is open. People are watching, listening and, “Reinette , you should calm down,” but she doesn’t listen. She starts going off about how lowly he and some of the other professors are, how they don’t deserve to teach at such a prestigious institution and how they are no better than the trash collected off the estates and only here to fill a work quota. Then she starts in on the president of the University. How if he had even half a brain most of the professors would be fired and replaced but since he clearly has no brain at all maybe he’s the one who needs to be let loose back to the trash he came from!

Her face is flushed from the adrenaline pumping through her body as she turns to stomp out of his office and sees everyone. Most everyone she insulted is standing in the room outside the offices, including the President of the University and he does not look pleased. She tries to compose her features as best she can and then in a sickeningly sweet voice she says, “If you’ll excuse me I have somewhere I need to be in a few moments. Thank you Jon for your time,” she nods to him as she makes her way through the throng of people she just insulted and out the door without any recognition to anyone standing in the room.

Jon’s trying not to laugh, he really is but this whole thing just blew up in a way that caught him off guard. He expected Reinette to be upset but this reaction he had not seen coming. For once he’s not coming off as the arse in the situation. He raises his head, gives the crowd a small smile, a little wave and says, “Uh…yes…hello everyone. Umm…as you heard I have a lot to get done today so if you will excuse me. Donna, could you come in and close the door we have a test to go over before my next class, thanks,” he turns to head back to his chair behind his desk. He keeps his head down until he hears the door close behind Donna. He looks up at her and she just loses it. She is laughing so hard she’s using one hand on the wall and the other on the chair in front of his desk to keep herself upright.

“Wha…What the hell just happened?” she cackles.

“I...Well, best I can say is that Reinette does not take rejection well,” he muses.

“Clearly,” she laughs again. Her laughter slows from cackling to giggling, down to just the occasional snort. Then, when she’s finally got it all out of her system she glances up to him, squints her eyes and says, “Okay Jon, start talkin’. Something happened yesterday and you are gonna tell me ya hear?! Because that, what just happened in here, would not have happened yesterday. You would have continued to play stupid with Reinette forever so what gives?” she demands.

Jon came here today with the express purpose of talking to Donna about Rose and work of course. He wants to grab a hold of the courage he had with Reinette and put that to use in his conversation with Donna, but now he’s terrified. He’s looking at her and she’s looking at him, one brow quirked in an obvious ‘don’t even try to get out of this’ way. He sighs, lays his head on his desk and quietly whispers, “I think…I think I may have met someone.”

“Someone like a mate? Or someone like a MATE?” she asks, drawing the last word out to show a difference between the two.

Jon groans while rubbing his temples and keeps his eyes closed as he responds, “Both, neither, I don’t know yet as I haven’t really met her.”

“What? You just said you met someone. So did you meet someone or not you big dumbo? Do I know her?” she asks, “Or is this person a him? I mean, I know Harry had this thing for you when we were younger but I’ve only ever seen you with women.”

With a huge sigh Jon stands from his desk and starts pacing back and forth in front of his office door. “For the record, Harry was 15 bloody years ago and it was one night after too much drink and not a little ecstasy,” he says coldly. He has no interest in reliving those memories.

“Now just…just listen okay? I need...GRRR…FUCK! Why the bloody hell do you have to make talking to you so damn difficult? You are supposed to be my mate! No more than that you are supposed to be my family. All that I have left of that by the way so do you think you could put aside your constant antagonizing of me for 20 fucking minutes and just…ya know…pretend to care? Do you think you can do that? If not I’ll…I’ll…well I don’t really know right now but I cannot handle you’re snide comments and shit right this minute Donna!”

Jon’s voice had risen the longer he was speaking and Donna is surprised by the serious tone and his apparent irritation with her. She softens her tone and says, “Yeah, okay Jon. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were…no I’m sorry. You’re right I should have been able to tell by your voice and…”

“Please Donna, just shut up for a few minutes so I can try and get all of this out. It’s confusing and I could really use your advice here,” Jon says still irritated.

She stops talking, sits back in her chair and waits for him to speak. Jon crosses the room, sits at his desk and lays his head down. He thinks he should have been better prepared for this. Now that Donna is here and quiet he has no idea what to say to her.

She hears him let loose a little whimper and she knows he’s stuck. He can’t pick a direction to go in to start the ball rolling with this conversation that is clearly going to be difficult for him. So Donna Noble does what she does best, she gets things done. With the pointer finger of her right hand she taps on the desk in front of where his head is laying…tap, tap, tap. He looks up at her with his chin still on his desk, his eyes barely raised to her and she raises her hand.

Oh, she is going to drive me BARMY Jon thinks to himself. He rolls his eyes to show that he is not amused by her antics and says, “Yes Donna?”

She has known Jon literally his entire life. They were born one day apart and their mothers had been best mates growing up, as were Jon and Donna. Both of them had lost their parents in a plane crash while they were on vacation together and they clung to each other intensely. She loves him, has always loved him, will always love him. She knows something happened after he turned 18 and went away to ‘find himself’. She doesn’t know what, but she knows it was awful and he came back a broken, different man.

Donna had of course asked him. Jon said that it was just bad, he’d prefer to never talk about it and _“Please, please Donna just…just don’t ask okay. I won’t tell you and I don’t want you to get angry when you keep trying so just…don’t okay? Please?”_ he had begged her.

That had been 13 years ago now and she had abided by his wishes. Donna had never asked again. Not when he didn’t return her calls, not when he avoided her, not even when he just up and disappeared from London. Oh, she found him. Found him in Cardiff attending school and pushing though courses like it was life and death. No, she didn’t know what happened to him in that year he was traveling but Donna didn’t need to know. She knew Jon and she knew that if he were ever ready to talk about it she would be there no matter how damned hard he tried to shake her off. Shit, she hadn’t even known about Jack until 10 years ago.

His voice just now is so much like it was then. A hint of anger, a bit of a whine but mostly it was sad and it nearly broke her heart to him like that again. So, she would do what she has always done; make things happen and right now that meant getting Jon to start talking about whatever or whomever was causing his latest distress.

Giving Jon a small reassuring smile she looks at him and says, “So, this person you met, man or woman?”

“She’s a gir…woman,” he replies, thankful Donna knew how to get him talking. Bringing his head up now that his vocal chords are working again he says, “Before I start, please do not interrupt me. Let me say everything I can and then you can ask questions to clarify okay?” She shakes her head in acceptance.

“Okay…well, her name is Rose. She works at H&W, has worked there for 3 years. I knew about her and had seen her after she first started but I was away a lot, as you know. So, when I came home last year to stay and I started going in for coffee every day I of course saw her more often. Nothing had or has happened between us. In fact yesterday was the most words passed between us since she was hired I think. But, I don’t know…everything about yesterday was different. She smiled at me for the first time. Well…okay there had been other times but not like yesterday. It was a different smile and she…flirted with me,” he says confused and whiny.

Jon thinks he sounds ridiculous. He is after all a 33-year-old man and he’s acting like a bloody schoolboy whose first crush just looked at him in his gym shorts. He knows he’s talking too fast. Donna will have a multitude of questions he’ll have to answer thoroughly once he’s done but he doesn’t care, just needs to get it all out. It almost feels like an exorcism of sorts as he explains the events of yesterday to her. He tells her about the smiling and flirting, about the staring and the weird but not bad feeling that gave him and about how that feeling has been there since he very first saw her, but again...it was different yesterday.

He tells her about Amy catching him staring at Rose and the cheeky _“I know something you don’t know”_ smile and waggling eyebrows. He tells her of the panic attack Rose had just moments after that and about Jack showing up and whisking her away. How Jack would not let him meet Rose the last 2 years and now all of the sudden he wants to make introductions. How he thinks she’s beautiful…“The most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen Donna.”

How he thinks she may be broken like he is broken and he doesn’t understand because he’s never had these emotions to deal with before. He barely knows her and this is freaking him out. “What the hell is going on with me? I can’t stop bloody thinking about her!” After he has said everything he can. After he thinks he has given her all of the information about the last 24 hours that have been maddening for him, he slumps into his chair and lays his head back down on his desk with a huge sigh.

Donna remains quiet. She needs to process the vast amount of information that he just rapidly shot in her direction to make sense of his babbling. She smiles once she thinks she understands the situation. He’s such a lost, lonely little boy sometimes. She reaches forward with her hand and taps on the desk in front of his head again.

Jon doesn’t want to acknowledge the noise. He wants to run away and pretend this whole thing didn’t just happen but he knows he can’t…knows he needs her. So mimicking his actions of 20 or so minutes ago he says, “Yes Donna?”

“Jon? Jon, look at me,” she says softly.

He brings his head up, sits properly in his chair, squares his shoulders and looks directly at her. Donna takes one look at his face and starts laughing. His eyebrows are raised, his lower lip protruding just slightly and in this moment he reminds her so much of that little boy she once knew. She had seen that exact look on his face countless times in their childhood; it’s adorable and a little sad to be seeing it on a 33-year-old man.

She quits laughing (as best she can), looks into his eyes and says, “You have a crush on a pretty girl. It’s not the end of the world ya big dumbo.”

Her response shocks him. He doesn’t know why but it does. Shocking and more than a little humiliating he thinks. A crush he thinks to himself. Is that what this is? This feeling when he’s around Rose? He thinks if it is he really needs to send chocolates or flowers to all these women who had been chasing him for the last 14 years.

Now he’s thinking of Martha and how he reacted to her flirting with him. Jon is above all else a truly brilliant man. He chose to play oblivious to her advances on him. He felt it was an easier let down than actually hearing the words. Reinette certainly didn’t take the truth well. Now though, he feels guilt on top of the humiliation. His thoughts are spiraling in on themselves in that very self-deprecating way he has. He needs to stop and focus on now because what’s done is done. Martha and all the others have moved on. They have their own lives and are all relatively happy he thinks.

“OI! Space-Case! Head outta your arse and back to the topic at hand yeah?” he hears as Donna's voice draws him back to the present.

Oh, but he does love this woman and is so glad that she never allowed him to disappear from her life. The nickname that had come into fruition in their earlier years together pulls him from his maudlin thoughts as it’s meant to. He looks back into Donna’s eyes and gives an almost smile. “Right…yeah…I’m here. So what do I do?” he says bluntly.

Jon talks a lot but he rarely actually says anything. To have the truth of the matter put before her so open and honest is jarring. She gives her best smile back at his weak one and responds, “Well what do you want to do?”

“Honestly? That’s what you come back with? If I had a clue as to what I was doing do you think I’d be having this conversation with you?” he says. He’s being snarky, he knows he is but he’s confused and frustrated because he doesn’t know what to do and Jon always knows what to do…it’s kinda his thing.

Donna places the palm of her hand over the top of his, leaving it there for a moment without saying anything. She sees the tension in his shoulders give a little and watches as he starts to relax. She knows him so well, knows he needs reassurance that she’s not teasing him about this. This especially, because she knows he hasn’t really had these thoughts and feelings for at least 14 years. They are scary, new to him and that gives her an idea on how to proceed.

“Jon, it’s okay to be nervous,” and scared she thinks but doesn’t say. “It’s been a long time since you’ve had these kinds of feelings. I mean it’s been what? 14 years since you felt like this about anyone? Add to that the immense changes being with someone will bring to your life, its no wonder you’re freaking out, ” she says kindly.

“15 years,” he replies, “and I’ve never felt this way about anyone. That is the issue.”

“Right, 14 or 15 doesn’t matter. It’s been a while and its okay to feel like that. Seriously you were just a boy the last time you had these kinds of feelings,” she states.

She decides to just go for it, say what she has to say, actually tell him what she thinks and let the chips fall where they may so to speak. “I’m not gonna beat around the bush here Jon. In many respects you are a brilliant and wonderful man,” she sees him smile at her praise and that gives her the courage to push forward with what needs to be said, what he needs to hear. “But in some aspects you’re very much just a teenage boy clumsily staggering around in the dark trying to find the light switch. This is one of those areas. The rest of the world moved on around you while you stayed stationary. So of course you’re confused and scared. Really you’re just an18 year old boy who’s discovered he has tingly feelings in his naughty bits for a pretty girl,” she finishes with as much of a teasing, loving smile as she can.

Donna doesn’t want to insult him or hurt his feelings but if she’s going to help him he needs to see the truth of the situation. While other men his age likely have tons of experience dealing with the emotions that come along with intimate relationships Jon does not. He closed himself off and locked all that away years ago. She still doesn’t know why but she supposes the details aren’t as important as the result. He doesn’t respond just gives her a glare out the corner of his eye, so she moves the conversation forward, “How old is she?’ she asks.

“Early to mid-twenties I think.”

“Bit young for you maybe? But no, you’re so messed up someone your own age wouldn’t put up with it,” she laughs out.

“I had that same thought actually,” he says smiling.

That’s good she thinks. He’s loosening up, calming down. Soon they will actually be able to talk about the real stuff, “And she works at H&W you said?” Donna asks.

“She’s the manager now. If it wasn’t for her marketing and advertising ideas as well as the hours she put in to get the store up and running I’m not sure H&W would have made it off the ground,” Jon grins while responding.

“Wait; is this the same woman who slapped Jack at the holiday party 3 years ago?” Donna asks.

“Yep,” he replies popping the p in an overly dramatic way.

Donna stops, she knows her. She knows her and she cannot tell him…shitty, shit, shit!

“Oh but I like her already. Anyone who can muster up the willpower to not only turn Jack Harkness down, but in such a way as to slap the shit outta him too, well she must be brilliant,” she says smiling, trying to keep the pretense up.

“You slept with Jack as I remember,” Jon points out.

“Well yeah, didn’t say I had the willpower did I? Besides there was no sleeping when Jack and I were together,” she smirks at Jon.

“Just…just don’t. Ugh…I don’t need that image in my head right now…or ever really, thank you very much,” he responds making a gagging sound.

“And that right there brings us back to my point,” Donna says in a very matter of fact tone.

“Which is?” he asks flatly.

She grins at him them, wide and a little scary then says, “Sex. We’re talkin’ bout’ sex. Sex with you and Rose to be more precise.”

“Umm…no. I’d remember if we were talking about that in relation to…her,” he says, his voice reaching into the high register again.

“Yes, we are. Do you want to know why we are?” she asks him flatly.

He knows he’s not expected to respond so he doesn’t. Jon sits and stares at her waiting for her to finish her thoughts, mostly because he has no clue what to say at this point. This was not a turn he saw the conversation taking after all.

“You are talented at a great many things and making friends, okay, charming people into thinking they are your friends is one of them. Now if you weren’t interested in her physically then you wouldn’t be here talkin’ to me,” she says in a very matter of fact tone.

Her statement sets him back a step, makes him think. She’s right. Of course she is. She’s Donna and much like Amy he has come to discover she’s almost always right and bugger that’s annoying.

Jon has options here. He could tell Donna that he’s done with this conversation, close up, lock her out. Tell her he’s just not ready and she will let him have it because that’s who she is. She knows when to push and when to back off. Or he could be a grown ass man, push past his bullshit and be honest with her and just (Just…what?). He doesn’t really know; just move forward. He’s so tired of being in this place. This safe little nook he’s made for himself apart from the rest of the world. He chooses to move forward with his life…finally.

“Yes,” he whispers. One simple word and he can feel the stress leaving his body, his shoulders relaxing, the blood slowing through his veins, his pulse calming down and the rushing in his ears quieting. It’s a simple word, yes; but the meaning and emotions behind it are anything but simple.

“Finally,” she almost shouts at him, “Now we can get to solving the issue. The problem is not that you like this girl. Yes, I am aware I said girl, because she is young and if she’s as cocked up as you then she is just a girl as much as you are just a boy, so stuff the comments about how I’m always bitchin’ at ya for your political incorrectness and just listen okay?”

His mouth is slightly gaping with the words he was going to say but was cut off before given the chance. Jon nods his agreement at her instead. “Good. Now close that gaping maw in your face and lemme finish before you start in with all your crap and try to worm your way outta this,” Donna says.

Jon notices her speech patterns reverting. This happens when she’s excited or angry, which he thinks is just an agitated state of excitement…negative excitement? He wonders for a moment if that’s a real thing or if he just coined a new phrase and…WHACK! “Oi, whacha hittin’ me for?!” he exclaims as her hand meets the back of his head.

Glaring at him she replies, “Jonathon Thomas Ardis-Noble, you drug me in here, made me keep my mouth shut and you know how hard that is for me, while you spluttered and babbled on and on about how you needed my help with this. Then when I finally put this mass of crap you spewed at me into some form of coherent thoughts you space out and ignore me! Now pay attention! Got it?”

Rubbing the back of his head he looks at Donna and says, “You know that’s not my name right?” And…oh…wrong thing to say…that’s not a good look on her face…nope not at all…time to backtrack. “Yes! Yep…here, fully present and paying attention and so very thankful for your assistance in this matter Donna,” he smiles a huge beaming grin at her, one he knows will get him out of trouble, with her at least.

“Lovely," Donna says sarcastically, "Now, first I want to say how happy I am that you finally met someone who ignited a spark. Cause I gotta say, we were all getting a bit concerned for a while there. So, with that outta the way the solving of this issue is simple really. You need to approach this as you would have 15 years ago. I don’t know what happened in that year you were gone but prior to that you were a proper manwhore. You were shaggin’ anything that had a pulse and a hole for Christ’s sake. I mean seriously, you made Jack look like an altar boy. Yes, you’re a bit rusty in the wooing department but if this girl is as repressed as you are than that will only work to your benefit.”

Donna knows Rose, of course she does. Jack introduced them shortly after she started working at the shop, at the holiday party where Rose slapped him. She knew Rose before that as well. No one knows that though. She’s not even sure Rose remembers meeting her before the holiday party. It was about a year or so prior to the party, maybe a little longer when she first met her. After their parents died and Jon left, Donna needed something to keep her going. She needed something to stave off the depression and loneliness and honestly the hurt and betrayal she felt from being abandoned by Jon.

She had started volunteering at a rehabilitation facility thinking that helping others who were suffering would give her some perspective after the death of their families. It was there she first met Rose. A very different Rose than she met at H&W. Battered, broken, cut and bruised, surgical incisions and bandages. To Donna it looked as if the very young girl had stepped into the path of an oncoming train. She had learned through typical workplace gossip that it was not a train that had hit Rose but her boyfriend. Over the time Rose was in the facility Donna saw her progress through therapy and struggle with re-learning how to walk, talk, feed and care for herself. She came in everyday to see Rose. She didn’t know why at the time she felt such a strong pull to the young girl but it was definitely there. Now, here in this moment with Jon she thinks maybe she believes in fate. Maybe she was always meant to be there to help Rose so that she could now help Jon.

When Donna met her again at H&W Rose gave no indication of remembering her. Her signed confidentiality agreement stated she was to make no acknowledgement of knowing patients outside the facility unless the patient initiated it. Donna wasn’t sure if Rose didn’t actually remember her. She highly doubted that with the amount of time they had spent together. Maybe she just didn’t want to? Maybe Rose wanted to pretend that part of her life never happened. After all, no one could tell by looking at her what she had been through and Donna wouldn’t fault her for wanting to forget about it. What she had been through was just awful. So, Donna went a long with it, never making it known that she knew who Rose was and pretending to not know her when Jack made the introductions at the party.

Sitting here now, Donna realizes that Rose has touched all of their lives. Her, Amy, Rory, Jack and now Jon, they have all in some way been greatly affected by this girl and always for the better. Each life Rose came into contact with she made better, at least in Donna’s circle of people. Rose had given Donna a reason to get up and live every day after the death of their families and Jon disappearing. Helping Rose rebuild herself in that facility had allowed Donna in a sense to rebuild herself as well. It allowed her to regain confidence in herself and see that she could be okay, still have a life outside the sadness and hurt.

As she watched Rose struggle through the pain both physical and emotional of putting her shattered pieces back in place she knew that she could do the same. Yes her parents died, yes her best mate and only family left had run away but she could still talk, and walk and move and breathe and eat and sleep and run and laugh and live. That’s what Rose had taught her in the facility, because no matter how much it hurt Rose never faltered.

There was never a day where she refused her physical therapy no matter the amount of pain it caused. She was always kind, always had a smile for everyone. If she wasn’t found in the therapy room avidly working on healing herself she could be found in the children’s ward. Teaching them while teaching herself how to read or write or draw or putting on puppet shows with the orderlies to keep the children smiling.

After 3 weeks she refused any further pain medication, _"I’ll never get better if you keep me high as a fuckin’ kite all the time.”_ Yes, watching Rose had inspired her to move on and have a real life again.

Donna thinks of Jack and Amy and Rory; thinks of the changes she’s seen in them since Rose became a stable force in their lives. She thinks of how much each of them have grown as people in the last 3 years of knowing Rose, wonders if she has ever told them about her past and what happened but she doesn’t think so. She thinks of Jon, how all these years women would throw themselves at him and he never paid any mind to it. Sure, he’d tried dating but only because her and Jack pushed him. They played on his guilt over their worry of him being alone until eventually he ran again.

That thought brings her back to the present. Back to the conversation she’s having with Jon; because she realizes right now he’s not running away. He’s not hemming and hawing and blathering on about nothing. No, he’s here asking for her help in how to move forward with his feelings, real feelings and now she’s excited, ecstatic even.

He wants to date Rose. Not because he’s being pushed in, not because Donna made him feel guilty that she will have to watch him die alone. In fact, he wants to date her even though Jack made a very valiant effort to keep them from ever meeting. She has inside information about Rose. Information that would help Jon but she can’t tell him. It’s not her story to tell, but she can use what she knows to steer him in the proper direction.

Rose was assaulted in the worst way possible and Donna was there for the aftermath. She knows if Rose is ready to start dating that Jon is perfect. They are both so far behind emotionally from where other more ‘normal’ adults are. He can be what she needs, will never press for more than she can give in any moment and she will be the same for him. Granted, that means that neither of them may ever actually have sex ever again but she knows now this isn’t just about sex, not for Jon. This is about moving forward, having a life, being a whole person again. Rose did that for her and she thinks Rose is going to do that for Jon.

“Take the leap Jon, that’s my advice,” Donna tells him.

“What? That’s all you have to say? Take the leap? How do I take the leap Donna? What do I say to her?” he's almost begging now.

“You said Jack was going to make the introductions yeah? So if I were you I’d start with hello. That is after all how most conversations start,” she replies in a cheeky voice.

“Right…hello…that’s…simple enough I suppose,” he sighs, “I say hello to people all the time without cocking it up. Hello nice to meet you, hello nice to see you again, hello...”

“Yes Jon, you know how to say hello, very good, brilliant even,” she’s laughs at him.

It's okay he thinks. He is being rather silly about this whole thing. After all, as Donna said he’s just a boy and she’s just a girl and nothing has happened yet. He’s not even sure anything will happen. Well…he’s pretty sure they will at least become mates. With the way everyone else adores her he’s certain that much is a given. Mates…yes he can do that at the very least. He stands and walks around to the chair Donna is sitting in, grabs her hand and hugs her tightly.

“Thank you Donna. Really, truly, thank you for everything…not…not just today, but for everything and…I love you,” he mutters into her long ginger hair and he can feel her smiling against his chest.

“You’re welcome and I love you too…plonker,” Donna responds.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech in Italics is remembered conversations.

“Rory are you ready to go yet? We were supposed to have met Jack 20 minutes ago for, brunch now I suppose,” Amy shouts from the living room.

“Yes My Love, just grabbing my shoes. Is Rose ready to go?” he hollers back.

“She’s been ready you arse, as have I for well over 30 minutes now. What the hell is taking you so long?” she asks only slightly annoyed.

“Since you’re asking so nicely,” he says wrapping his arms around her waist, placing his chin on her shoulder and turning his head so that his mouth is close to her ear he whispers, “I woke up in bed this morning in just my pants with 2...Amy…2...mostly naked beautiful women lying beside me. Then there was talk of threesomes with said beautiful women. I may have needed the extra time to make myself presentable in public,” he pulls the lobe of her ear into his mouth and sucks very gently on it.

“Ah, all better now then? Ready to go and face the world?” she replies while turning to place a soft peck on his cheek.

“Yep, good to go,” he says.

"Great, Rose is outside waiting for us and she already started the car so shake-a-leg pretty boy we’re late!” Amy says slapping his bum.

“Oh it wasn’t my leg that needed shaking Babe,” Rory says grinning.

They meet Rose at the car, pile in and head to meet up with Jack. “Finally,” Rose says, “I’m starving. What took you so long Rory?”

“Well Rose when a boy…” Amy cuts him off by smacking him in the arm.

“Just don’t, really don’t,” she tells him. He pulls the car out of the drive and heads to brunch. Rose lets it go; she probably doesn’t really want to know anyway.

Jack is sitting at the table in the restaurant that he was supposed to meet Rose, Amy and Rory at 45 minutes ago. He doesn’t really mind them being late. It gives him time to go over his approach with Rose. He spent all of last night and a better part of the morning trying to work up a plan and he still has nothing. By 5 am his brain started coming up with ridiculous scenarios for them to meet, he just gave up and tried to get a few hours of sleep. So now, after talking with Jon this morning and agreeing that yes, it’s time he made the introductions he needs to get Rose to agree to it.

He’s worried though, because if what Jon said was true, than her just speaking with him yesterday hurled her into a full blown panic attack. But there had to be a reason for that right? He’s seen Rose talk to many people, men and women and he’s never seen her react like that. So it only makes sense to conclude that Rose does not see Jon the ways she sees everyone else, right?

Jack knows he needs to ease her into this, not make it go fast and that’s going to be difficult for him. Now that he’s made the decision to do this, to have them meet he just wants to rush through everything. He has played the meeting out in his head many times and he just wants them to be happy together. He wants to see her smile and him smile and fall desperately in love, get married and have babies that will call him Uncle Jack and just live the fantastic life they both deserve so much (Mostly, he wants that for them mostly).

He still has no idea how he’s going to make that happen when he sees them coming into the restaurant. He’s not even sure how he’s going to broach the topic with Rose, much less get her to agree to what? A date? No, he doesn’t think he can phrase it like that, even if that’s what he hopes it will be. As Rory, Amy and Rose walk up to the table he realizes he’s out of time. He’ll just have to play it by ear and hope that he can make magic happen from nothing. He’s good at that, does it all the time, this should be no different, right?

As they arrive at the table Rory says, “We’re late I know. I’m sorry. It’s my fault. It took me longer to get up and going today than normal.”

“No worries. I figured you’d all be moving a little slow after last night,” Jack smiles back at them.

As they all take their seats the server comes over with menus and hands them out. “Can I get you anything to drink to start off with?” the waiter asks.

“Coffee please,” all 3 reply in unison.

“Great be right back with that,” he says fading away from the table.

“So how are my lovelies doing this morning eh? You look a little mangy kiddos,” Jack says chuckling. He’s seen Rory and Amy after a bender before, many times. That is in fact how they met. After a night of too much drink he woke up in a naked tangled heap of limbs that belonged to Rory and Amy. None of them could recall how that happened but they’d all just laughed it off. Wasn’t the first time for any of them and wouldn’t be the last time either. Rory, Amy and Jack have a great relationship, both business and personal. They are a great couple that enjoys stepping outside those lines drawn by society almost as much as Jack does. Occasionally since that first night they have indulged in each other’s company but mostly they just stick to friends and business partners. He loves them and they love him. Its easy, nice; no drama or jealousy involved.

Rose responds, “I’m fine. Hungry and still tired, seriously needing caffeine but other than that I’m good.”

Amy and Rory both nod in compliance of Rose’s assessment of well-being and look at Jack with a ‘Get on with it’ stare. Rose is not an idiot. She’s not blind either and her friends as covert as they think they are, are being rather obvious. With Amy and Rory staring at Jack and Jack looking like a deer in the cross hairs of a rifle Rose decides to get it over with. She’s not sure what is getting over with but this is…weird. “Okay Jack, I’m here what’s up?” Rose says flatly.

“Right,” he starts to say but the waiter walks back up with coffee and asks for their orders. They all provide the waiter with their food order and he shuffles away. Rose looks to Jack again expectantly. He clears his throat and starts again, “OK Rose here it is. I have a friend I’d like you to meet.”

“Yes, you said that yesterday,” she replies amused.

“I did yeah. Ok so,” he’s lost it now, doesn’t know where to go from here. He wasn’t expecting Rose to just accept that he wanted her to meet someone.

Amy lets out a groan of frustration, looks to Jack who catches her rolling her eyes at him and then turns to Rose.

“So listen, I’m just going to say this because quite frankly after yesterday we all feel like we need to walk on eggshells around you and that is just stupid. So you had a weak moment. We all have them and that’s okay. I am not going to let that one moment redefine all of the moments where you have been strong and funny and wonderful. To me you are still the same Rose you were 10 seconds before your melt down okay?” Amy says.

Rose is trying not to be embarrassed because of yesterday. These people…her people are still here, still trying and the very least she can do is be a grown up about this. She is after all a 27-year-old woman, not a simpering weak little girl (Never again). “Yeah, okay,” Rose says, trying to make her voice stronger than it feels.

“No really Rose, you need to understand. Get it through that bloody thick skull that yesterday changed nothing for us. You’re still Rose, I’m still Amy, that’s still Rory and that over there,” she points to Jack, “is still the biggest manwhore in Cardiff. If anything at all has changed it’s just that we know you a little better and love you even more okay, got it? Good. Now moving the fuck on,” she states firmly.

Rose smiles at Amy, “Yeah…yeah alright, moving the fuck on,” she says and she means it. She’s not going to let yesterday ruin all of the hard work she’s done and she’s not going to let it cock up her friendships with these…her people.

Rory takes Rose's hand and says, “We understand now why we’ve never seen you with anyone. Of course it makes sense but using a phrase from my lovely Amy, its time to move the fuck on already. By keeping yourself hidden away from a proper life and by proper life I don’t just mean shaggin’. You’re letting that Jimmy-wacko-wank-job still have control over you. I will not stand for that, nor will Amy or Jack. We are not going to sit by and watch you turn into some old cat lady spinster who dies alone and has her face eaten by said cats. Now, we want to introduce you to a mutual friend of ours. We think you two will hit it off nicely and if it works out that you and he can get shagged in the process great. If all you decide to be is friends, well that’s great too. Jon is a huge part of our lives and Jack’s even more so. Keeping the two of you apart is no longer an option after yesterday. So, we need you to pull on your big girl knickers, swallow back the self loathing, strap on a smile, fall in love and make beautiful babies with him okay?”

To say the silence at the table was deafening would be an understatement. Jack and Amy are looking at Rory like he just grew a second head. Rose is sitting there with her mouth slack, eyes wide and the poor waiter is standing there with their food also in silence due to what he just heard.

Who had the omelet?” he asks hesitantly, breaking the silence. Rose slowly raises her hand to signify that it was she who ordered the omelet and closes her mouth.

She knows she should be freaking out right now. She is almost having a panic attack at the lack of having a panic attack in response to why they are all here. Then she realizes that she is in fact not having a panic attack. Her breathing is normal, she’s not dizzy or sweating. She doesn’t feel the need to run and hide in the loo. Now, looking at the faces of her people she thinks she may be okay. Eventually okay but okay nonetheless. She starts laughing loudly, a sidesplitting laughter that she hasn’t felt since before Jimmy, before her dad died and it feels…good. Fucking brilliant actually!

Looking into the faces of her…people and seeing the surprise in their eyes at her response starts to sober her somewhat. She clams her laughter but her smile is still there and it’s one she hasn’t felt in so long.

Rose realizes for the first time in a very long time she does not know down to the minute when her life went to complete and utter shit. She knows it is because of the 3 most wonderful people sitting with her. She decides that if they want to introduce her to what they hope will be the man to give her a proper fucking life than she’s going to trust them.

She’s going to trust that they only want what is best for her and they want her happy, because she thinks she’s ready for that, to finally move forward and be happy. She’s put in the work and time to make it happen. She just can’t seem to get up the hill on her own and if she needs a little push from the people who love her she will accept it graciously. With that thought in mind and the happy feeling she has inside of her she looks up to Jack and sees his blue almost violet eyes looking at her and says, “So, Jack, why don’t you tell me about this bloke you want me to meet. I mean I can’t really get started on…well…anything if I don’t know him.”

Her statement staggers Jack. He looks around the table and sees Amy; she has that face again. The one that says if his mouth mucks this up she will hunt him down and do worse things than death to him. He decides to take the easy yet unbelievable win. “Right,” he says, “Well as Rory mentioned his name is Jon and you’ve kind of met him already. He’s a great guy. The greatest guy I know, have ever known. He’s been my best friend for 15 years now, so you know, it’s not like I’m just picking some guy out of the personals to set you up with.”

“I’ve met him already?” Rose asks, “If I’ve already met him why would you need to introduce me to him? Wait; Jon, Jon, Jon. I don’t recall you guys ever introducing me to or even mentioning a Jon. Are you sure I’ve met him?”

“Well,” Amy says, “Met only in the broadest definition of the word. He’s been coming into the shop since you started working there and you have waited on him more than a few times. Maybe even…ogled him a bit.”

Ogled…Oh fuck…she knows; knows who it is they want her to meet and is currently running through every interaction she’s ever had with him and says, “But…no…what…the hottie real estate agent, banker, professor bloke is your best mate? But...”

“Professor,” he interrupts.

“What?” she asks confused.

“Hottie professor. Jon, he’s a professor at the University here in town,” Jack smiles at her.

“Uh…oh…um…a professor? Don’t you think that may be a little umm…out of my league?” Rose asks honestly.

Jack thinks that's a ridiculous notion and says, “Nope. Jon’s been asking to meet you for quite some time. I’ve been putting him off because, well because you’re the best employee we have and it wouldn’t do to have you quit your job because you didn’t work out with Jon now would it?”

“That’s a load of crap: because unless you’re firing me today those circumstances haven’t changed, so what’s really happening here?” Rose asks.

“Right. Ok then. I didn’t want to share my fucking toys because I’m a selfish prick and that is the very simple, very honest truth,” he replies, slightly annoyed at being called out.

“That I can believe,” she says smiling.

“Gee thanks Rose, you sure can make a guy feel good about himself,” he responds playfully.

Rose smiles at him and says, “I get it, I do. I mean you’re just lookin’ out for your friend.”

He decides to just go with that. It’s better than the real reason and she seems understanding about it.

“Cause that’s what you three are doin’ yeah? Setting me up with the hottie professor who watched me make a complete arse out of myself yesterday?” she asks nervously.

“Yes,” they all reply to her at the same time.

“And uh…does he…did you…uh…did you tell him anything Jack? She asks, the nervousness making her voice tremble.

“Of course not Rose. That’s your story to tell if and when you’re ready to do so. It’s not my place to tell him your shit any more than I can tell you his. Cause that’s the thing, we all have baggage to carry; but he’s a really great guy. I love you both so much and it’s time for you both to move on. Neither of you are really living. You’re like shadows or ghosts, existing but not actually living. We can’t just sit back and watch that anymore,” Jack says.

“Okay,” Rose says simply. She's trying to come off calm and collected but it's more terrified and well...about to wee on herself.

“Ok? Just like that?” Jack asks.

She takes a minute to think about it. She understands for them it seems like a fast turnaround since yesterday but for her it’s been years of trying to be ready to move forward. It’s been years of telling herself to grow up, pushing herself to try and be normal and happy again. She’s decided she wants that and in order to get it she has to make herself be ready. It’s never going to happen by waiting to be ready.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) Rose says, “I don’t know what you want here. Do you want me to say no? If you’re still unsure about us meeting then...”

“No Rose, no that’s, it’s not that. I just don’t want you feel pushed or pressured into doing something you may not really want to do is all,” Jack says cutting her off.

“Well then, okay. I mean if you all really want me to do this, I trust you. There are some things I should probably let you know beforehand though…so…yeah…kinda like yesterday when you all just stayed quiet and let me talk okay?” She looks at them in askance and they all nod their heads in acquiescence. “So…right, okay then. It’s been a good long while since I’ve dated anyone and even before that I didn’t have any real…err…experience? Yes that, experience...none at all really. One boyfriend and I told you all how that turned out sooooo…” she lets it trail off as she glances away towards the window while they take in that piece of information.

“Oh, OH! God, Rose are you saying that at 27 years old you’ve only ever dated one guy? Have only ever been with one guy!?” Rory exclaims.

“Bloody hell Rose, you’re a virgin!” Amy laughs out.

She was with Jimmy but not even the first time was consensual. For a long time she felt like what he did to her was her fault because she eventually quit trying to fight him off. It was less painful in the end if she just let him have his way with her. Still, not one time was she with him because she wanted to be. Now she wonders if that’s true. Not in the clinical definition of a virgin of course, but maybe in the emotional sense of the word she is a virgin?

She has never willingly given herself to anyone. As she looks to her people sitting with her and smiling she decides to just go for it. It has been a day of truths and she feels like this needs to be put out there. They need to know what they are getting Jon into before this set-up happens. It’s the right and fair thing to do and she may not get another opening to bring this up.

“Depends on your definition of virgin I spose,” she says and then waits. Waits for the laughter to stop and yep there it is. The enormity of what she’s saying has dawned on them and now they are all staring at her. “I mean in the clinical sense of the word, no. I am not a virgin but I have never willingly been with anyone. Like I said, depends on how you want to define it.”

She’s not faltering on her words and she’s rather chuffed about that. This is truly the first time she has said these words aloud and she’s surprised how easy it is. She always imagined it would be harder to talk about and now that’s she started she’s amazed by how easy it is. “I just…I wanted you to know before I meet Jon. It’s a bit unusual yeah? A 27 year old woman who’s still, well…not quite a virgin.”

In that moment she decided yes, she is still a virgin. Jimmy took enough from her she won’t let him take that too. They don’t ask what she means, they don’t need to and she can see they understand when they look at her. She was expecting pity to be looking back at her from their eyes but it’s not there. Just love and maybe a little sorrow that she had to go through that but not pity.

Rory turns her chair to face him, kneeling in front of her so their eyes meet. He grabs her face with both hands and her cheeks smush up. He looks at her very seriously then after a moment of thought says, “Rose, I’m going to kiss you now okay?”

She looks at Rory and just barely nods her head in acceptance.

When Rose agreed to this kiss she was expecting a small peck from Rory, maybe a small peck that lingered a little longer than a friendly platonic kiss on the lips. What she was not expecting was for Rory to press his mouth to hers in what may possibly be the most intimate kiss she’s ever had. His lips slide over hers and at first she doesn’t respond, didn’t really think she was supposed to. Then she feels his tongue begging entrance against her lips and she startles, tries to pull back.

It had been so, so, so long since anyone had touched her like this. Actually, she’s never been touched like this she thinks. This is soft and nice and sweet…nothing like Jimmy. Still, it’s a little much for her all at once and she doesn’t want her first kiss (of that nature) in so long to be from Amy's boyfriend. So she keeps her lips firmly closed, denying him access and Rory eases back just a little but still there, his lips to hers.

Even when things with Jimmy had been new he was never really into kissing her. She can feel Rory’s hands on her face holding her in place and he’s sliding one to the back of her head and she fucking whimpers. She’s embarrassed, tries to pull back but his hand on the back of her head and the other on her face have her firmly held to him. It’s nice and its safe and it’s that same warm fuzzy Rory blanket feeling she had yesterday. He continues to kiss her until the waiter comes by and makes an, “Uh…Hmm,” coughing sound to get their attention and delivers the check.

Rory pulls away slowly and looks at Rose. She knows she’s flushed. She can feel the heat spreading over her but he just gives her a soft smile and heads back to his chair next to Amy. Amy…Amy whose boyfriend just kissed her in public.

“Hell Rose, if I knew it was going to be that easy to get a kiss from you I’d have done so years ago now,” Jack grins at her.

She looks to Jack, thinks she must still look dazed because she still feels dazed. She rises from her chair, walks over to him, grabs his face in the same way Rory grabbed hers and places her lips against his…cheek. Rose thought she might be able to kiss him, she just couldn’t do it.

When she pulls back he smiles his trademark Jack Harkness smile at her and then he pulls her into a hug and tells her, “I love you Rose and I think you are quite possibly the strongest woman I have ever met and from me that’s sayin’ something because I’ve met a lot of women.”

She hugs him back tightly and whispers her thanks into his chest and retreats to her chair. Jack grabs the bill, heads to the cash register to pay and Amy grabs her hand. She threads her fingers in-between Rose’s and pulls her out of the door towards the car. Amy hasn’t said anything since Rory kissed her but Rose doesn’t think it’s because she’s upset. She seems more…contemplative? It seems like she wants to ask something but she hasn’t and it’s starting to worry her, “Uh…Amy? Is…is everything okay. You’ve been awfully quiet since uh…since ya know…”

Amy looks over at her and smiles. It happens very quickly then. The sweet smile on Amy’s face is replaced with what can only be described as a cat that got the cream smirk. Before Rose can even think to react, Amy has her mouth pressed against hers. This is not the same sweet kiss Rory had engaged her in earlier. There is a definite pressure behind it from first contact and the swipe of Amy’s tongue against her lips is almost immediate.

Rose is frozen, doesn’t know what to do and keeps her mouth firmly closed against Amy’s invading tongue. Once Amy realizes there is no response, is going to be no response she pulls back. Jack and Rory are both standing inches away from them staring like 2 teenage boys watching their first porno and Rory says, “By all means, don’t allow us to interrupt you lovely ladies from whatever it was you were doing.”

Amy smiles at Rose, looks down at their joined hands, looks back up and says, “Just wanted to make sure you still like boys before we introduce you to Jon. I mean you have been out of the game for a long while and who knows, you don’t know what you like if you haven’t tried it right?”

“Err…Right…well…thanks?” Rose replies.

“Sure, anytime. Seriously though, I was a little miffed that everyone got lip action but me. Figured I’d just even up the score a bit,” she giggles as she slides into the passenger seat of the car.

“Right…yes…well the next time you’re feeling left out you could just say so,” Rose chuckles back to her. Rory slides into the front seat of the car and Jack says, “So when do you want to do this Rose?”

“Do?” she asks, “Oh meet Jon? I don’t know…not…not today okay? I think I need at least today to process everything that’s happened in the last 24 hours. Seriously this has been a crazy 24 hours for me. I’m usually quite boring in comparison, also I still feel a little hung-over from last night.”

“No, I didn’t think I’d throw you in the car and drive right to our place Rose,” he laughs.

“Wait...our place? You and Jon share a flat? How old is he? For that matter how old are you?” she asks him.

“Does any of that really matter? Jon and I have shared a place for the last 15 years. There was just never a reason to not share. If there comes a time where there is a reason neither of us would have an issue moving. There has just never been a reason up to this point,” he states shrugging his shoulders.

Rose thinks that makes sense, thinks maybe things would have been easier for her if she’d had a flat-mate. Someone she could come home to every night even if it was only a friend. Anything would have been better that the repetitive endless lonely nights of the last 5-ish years. Well…not anything she amends, because life without Jimmy in the flat is so much better than life with him there. Even if it meant she was lonely…lonely is still better than dead. “No it doesn’t really matter. I was just curious,” she says hugging him. Rose waves goodbye and climbs into the back seat of the car. As Rory starts to drive away she leans her forehead on the window, closes her eyes and imagines having a proper fucking life as a gentle sleep pulls her into oblivion.

Jack watches the car pull off and wonders how he’s going to do this. He doesn’t want to be pushy, so something intimate and romantic is definitely out. He can’t do this at a pub or a nightclub, that’s not intimate enough, also neither Jon nor Rose like clubs and pubs. Ok, so that narrows the options down. No clubs, no pubs, nothing romantic, but nothing un-romantic either. Being at our place would be too uncomfortable for a first meeting for Rose, being in her place, well that would be uncomfortable for Rose too he thinks. Shit, bugger, fuck, piss, ass, head and hole! I have no clue what I’m doing here! I need, I need, what? What do I need, well other than a drink now, he laughs to himself. Then a thought, a rather great thought actually. Donna, she will know what to do, how to make this work. Jack pulls his phone out, hits speed dial #4 and waits for the ringing to start.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech in Italics is remembered conversations.

After his talk with Donna he feels better, lighter. _“Take the leap."_ When she first said that he thought it was rather bad advice or more aptly not advice at all. The longer he thinks about it though he realizes it was actually rather brilliant advice. Jon sits at his desk in the latter part of his day, classes done and he should be grading papers right now but he’s not. He’s just sitting there thinking about his conversation with Donna. _“Take the leap Jon,”_ playing over and over in his head.

He’s not sure what he expected her to say to him when he asked for help but it wasn’t that. He realizes that there wasn’t really anything else she could say. It’s not as if Donna could give him a play-by-play transcript of how his interactions would go with Rose. _“Take the leap Jon.” “Well Jon I’d start with hello, that’s how most conversations begin,”_ these same thoughts over and over and over in his head. Donna went home several hours ago stating that she was suffering a headache from dealing with…well…him. She said it teasingly but he still feels there was more truth to the matter than she was letting on.

Jon knows he aggravates Donna. Sometimes it’s on purpose; okay mostly it’s on purpose but today truly hadn’t been. He knows she’s right…as usual. He’s behind the curve when it comes to relationships and that bothers him. In every other aspect of his life he is ahead of the curve. If life were a bell curve he would be the last tiny fragment of the line that holds down the high performers end; except in this one bloody area…and that…that is frustrating to him.

He’s a genius. Jon doesn’t say that to boost his ego or sound pompous. It’s a fact, like the world is round or the laws of gravity and motion, it just is. A normal IQ ranges from 85 to 115. Only 1% of all the people in the world have an IQ higher than 135. Jon’s IQ is 167…so again…fact. He is a proper fucking genius and he’s angry with himself that he cannot seem to wrap his bloody thick brain around relationships and intimacy.

He should be able to say, “Okay brain, we’re going to be charming, witty, sexy, funny and you’re naturally brilliant amazing self,” and his brain should make his mouth and his body do just exactly that. Instead what happens, at least from his perspective, is he comes off looking like a complete pillock. He fumbles with speech, gets sweaty and uncomfortable and chokes on things he knows he should be saying such as, “Hello, my name is Jon. Lovely weather we’re having,” but no…somehow there is a disconnect from his brain to his mouth and it usually comes out more like, “Uh hi…names…umm...Jon, right that’s right, Jon nice to uh…lovely weather?” it’s whiny by the end just to add insult to injury. He’s also a little vexed at how desperately he wants his meeting Rose to go well.

Jon doesn’t know her at all but there is something there. He can’t explain it or define it and that’s bothersome to him as well. It’s been there, this electricity he feels every time he has seen her. And yesterday, it was like a gravitational pull in his gut. It twisted him about, caused a flutter in his chest and he has never had that happen before. Even prior to that year, when he was a proper slut, none of his previous interactions had made him feel…that. So he doesn’t know what to call it (Rose Shivers) or how to define it (Wonderful). He is after all a scientist by nature, likes to be able to categorize and label…well everything he supposes.

Donna has told him numerous times and that’s just today, that feelings and emotions cannot be boiled down to a scientific formula. There is no dissecting it and finding what makes it work. “ _You just have to feel it Jon, that’s why they are called FEELINGS ya big numpty.”_ It’s getting late. He needs to head home. He needs to eat something, needs to get these bloody essays graded, he really needs to get a TA and he needs to sleep. Jon packs up his bag, grabs his coat off the rack behind the door, shuts off the light and locks the door. Tea, he thinks, a nice cup of tea is what he needs.

“Jack? Why are you calling? I told you several times I am NOT you’re late night, in this case late afternoon booty call and it’s been a long day. I’m in no mood for your shenanigans today Harkness,” Donna barks as she answers her phone. She has just left Jon at the office and her head is killing her. That man can drive her barmy like no other. Oh she loves him like a brother and he in turn annoys her just like a brother. She cannot fathom how someone who blathers on repeatedly about being a right proper genius is so daft sometimes.

“Well hello to you too Donna Noble,” Jack chuckles into the phone.

“Listen Jack, it really has been a very long day, so just get to the point of this call and if it’s to ask me...”

“No…no, Donna that’s not why I’m calling. It’s about Jon,” he says cutting off her rant.

“What? He’s fine. Well as fine as he ever is I guess. I just left him at the office not 5 minutes ago,” she says.

“Yeah, no, right. I need your help actually. I want to introduce Jon to Rose,” he says.

“Yeah, he told me. He’s properly flipping out about it too. It was actually kind of cute. You should have seen the look on his face when I told him it was perfectly normal to have tingly feelings in his naughty bits for a pretty girl! It was great,” she cackles into the phone.

Jack’s response is delayed due to his quiet laughter on the other end of the line, and then he says, “Did you actually say that to him? Do you have any idea how long it’s been since Jon has been with anyone?”

“Yeah he told me. 15 years. That’s, I almost didn’t believe him because that’s just a bit crazy isn’t it?” she responds.

He thinks about that for a moment, decides it’s not crazy. Not after everything they saw and went through and says, “No Donna, I don’t think it’s crazy. I think people deal with difficult situations in different ways. I deal with our past by forming as many intimate relationships, short term as they may be as humanly possible.”

Jack has done a fair amount of pondering on this exact issue. Why Jon has had no one and Jack has had just about everyone since they moved to Cardiff. Jack was always a bit promiscuous, even before he met Jon. But after they came back to London and moved to Cardiff, after Jon had taped the pieces of Jack back together enough he felt almost like a real person again, he needed to touch and be touched. He needed to remember that not all touch was bad and painful. He became a right proper manwhore, shagging just about anyone and anything that would allow him.

Jon though, he went the opposite direction. It’s not that Jon shied away from people. Quite the opposite really, people love him. They love his geeky, quirky, Jon-ness. He’s always friendly, always witty and ready for a laugh but any attempts at physical intimacy had fallen flat and eventually Jack gave up pushing him to try. Jack had come to accept that they had to deal with the pain of what they went through together, separately. So they did. Oh they lived together still, saw each other every day and were still there for each other if needed but the healing process for each of them took very different routes.

“Jon however, he handles things differently. It’s not crazy Donna, it just is Ok?” He knows he sounds defensive but she doesn’t know what they saw, what they went through back then and for Jon it had been so soon after losing his family.

“Right, yeah, of course. So what’s up? Why the call?” she says, deciding to move this along; she doesn’t do well with awkward.

“I need help setting up the meet and greet for Jon and Rose. It needs to be intimate but not too intimate. Someplace they will both feel comfortable but not so comfortable they can distract themselves from each other. It can’t be a pub or a club, can’t be at our place or hers, can’t be at Amy and Rory’s or yours either. So, you being the wonderful, brilliant, talented and beautiful woman that you are, I figured maybe you’d lend a hand?” he asks rather timidly. He hears Donna laugh on the other end of the phone and asks, “What’s so funny? I’m asking for a little help here, it’s not like that happens very often ya know.”

“You’re so daft sometimes. Why not just host a little gathering at the shop? Its familiar territory for both and there’s nothing there to distract either one of them. It’s small enough to feel intimate but big enough that it’s not too intimate. You can have Rory and Amy, Clara, Jon, Rose, you and me and maybe if Clara wants someone to come along with her. We could do a dinner party thing, no alcohol though. I don’t think they should spend the first few hours of getting to know one another pissed. Maybe some board games? Jon enjoys anything that will make him think and if we stick them on a team together we can see how well they work with each other; as well as allowing Jon to show off how brilliant he is. He’ll love that, plus the added benefit of nonstop caffeine. Oh! Oh! We could do a potluck party yeah?! Everyone can bring their favorite dish!” Donna says excitedly.

“Wow, you came up with all of that in the last 5 minutes we’ve been on the phone?” Jack asks.

“Yep,” she replies popping the p just as Jon would have, “I am terribly clever after all.”

“Aren’t you just,” Jack confirms.

“So when do you want have the shindig?” she asks.

“I was thinking Friday. The shop opens late on Saturday so everyone can have a lie in if necessary,” he quickly replies.

“Great, I’ll make e-vites in the office tomorrow and send them out to everyone. That gives us two days to prepare,” she tells him.

“Thanks Donna. What would we do without you?” he sighs, honestly thankful for her help.

“Jack?” she asks hesitantly, “Is he ever going to tell me what happened to the two of you?”

“I don’t know Donna. I’m not sure he’s ever talked to anyone about it, including me and I was there, so, I just don’t know. I’m sorry. I wish I had a better answer for you,” he responds quietly.

“Would you?” she asks.

“Yes,” he replies without hesitation, “Yes Donna, if I could tell you without breaking Jon’s confidence, I would.”

“Yeah, alright,” she sighs, “Look you need to bugger off. I have real work to do in addition to planning your little hootenanny. I’ll call ya with details later.”

“Shindig? Hootenanny? What TV shows are you watching?" he queries while laughing into the phone.

“Oi! Was just trying to make you feel comfortable using your American slang is all. No need to get stroppy with me Harkness!” Donna snaps.

“Bye Donna,” Jack says still laughing.

“Bye Jack,” she replies before disconnecting the line.

Amy’s phone rings while Rory is driving Rose back to her flat and she can hear Jack’s muffled voice on the other end when Amy picks it up. There’s a lot of, “yeah, uh huh’s,” and other general terms of agreement being said by Amy until finally she says, “Yep, later. Thanks for the info,” and she disconnects the call. “So,” Amy says, “that was Jack. Donna is going to be throwing a dinner party at the shop this Friday. We’re all invited. It’s a potluck thing. We’re all supposed to bring our favorite dish. There will be board games and what not. No alcohol though, it’s a sober thing apparently. We all need to be there by 7 pm,” Rory’s nodding his head in confirmation that he heard her and she turns to Rose.

“Rose, have you met Donna yet?" she asks.

“Umm…is she the loud ginger who’s always cussin’ out Jack?” asks Rose.

“Yes, that’s her,” she laughs.

Rose is unsure how to reply. She doesn’t want to lie but she also doesn’t want to say how she knows Donna. “Yeah…umm…I’ve met her. She comes in for coffee sometimes,” Rose says. It is definitely not a lie. Donna does come in for coffee and she has waited on her several times and she has met her. She doesn’t know if Donna remembers her from the rehabilitation facility. Rose thinks she must because…well...because Donna spent every day there by her side as Rose tried to weave her physical and mental self back together. She can’t imagine someone forgetting something like that. “So, uh…how do you all know Donna? Was she a stray like me?” Rose tries to ask covertly.

“First Rose, you are not a stray. I mean it’s not like you lived in a cardboard box in an alley and we brought you in for warm food. Secondly, she’s always been there. As long as we’ve known Jack and Jon we’ve known Donna. From what Jack said she even pre-dates him in Jon’s life. Donna’s like his sister, known him all their lives. Their birthdays are even only one day apart and from what I can recall, I think Donna said her and Jon’s mums were best mates growing up,” Rory says.

“That must be nice, having one person who’s known you the whole of your existence. Knows everything about you, nothing to hide from them…” Rose trails off quietly.

“Yeah, I suppose,” Amy says, “but no way to keep anything secret either I imagine. I mean when someone knows you that well, they’d be able to tell if you were hiding something from them and I think if that person was Donna, well she can be a bit relentless when she wants something. A dog with bone that lady is, but she truly loves Jon. She’s a great person. She’ll just love you, all sweet and shy.”

Rose doesn’t know what to say now that they are parting ways. It’s been an eventful 36 hours both good and bad…mostly good she thinks. She feels like she’s grown so much closer to them…her people, but now she feels awkward. What do you say to people who have effectively changed your life so much in the last day and a half? Who are still changing your life so much? They have decided to take her under their wing, they are essentially making her part of their little makeshift family…and she’s so grateful and a little scared. What if they didn’t really want to be involved in her life? What if the only reason any of this happened was because they just happened to be there when she cracked up? What if…

“Rose?” Amy’s voice breaks into her spiraling thoughts and she looks up to see both of them staring at her. Stupid, stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN SHUT UP!!!

“Rose, are you okay? You just kinda zoned out there. If you don’t want to be at home you can come back to mine,” Amy offers.

“No, I…thank you Amy, but I need to take care of some things at home. I just…I don’t really know what to say. I mean you guys...”

Amy interrupts her again and says, “Rose, what did I say?” she points to herself, “Still Amy, still Rory, still Rose. Nothing has changed. Well no, that’s not true either. Nothing has changed in a bad way Rose. No reason to be awkward, we’re all still just us okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Rose mumbles, eyes cast down and one hand on the car handle ready to open it.

“Please Rose, just relax okay? It’s still just us and we’re still going to be just us once you get out of the car, nothing has changed,” Rory tells her.

Rose blows out a deep breath, brings her eyes to theirs and says, “Right…yeah, just…this is all kinda new to me. It’s just been me worrying about me for a long while now. Thanks for err…just…everything and I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says opening the door and hastily making her retreat to the safety of her flat.

She is both relieved and a little bummed that she’s now back in her own flat. On one hand it’s been an incredibly taxing and emotional 36 hours for her, so the familiarity of her flat and her things is comforting. On the other hand it’s been an incredibly taxing and emotional 36 hours for her and she’s scared to be alone with her own thoughts. She knows she’s prone to turn a bit maudlin when left on her own (I am complete rubbish on my own) and she doesn’t believe that way of thinking is going to be beneficial to her tonight.

Tossing her keys in the white, glassy bowl thingy that’s sitting on the rickety little table inside her door, she strips off her coat and tosses it on the coat rack (which is really just a screw she stuck in the wall) and flicks on the light switch. Everything is as it was when she left yesterday (has it really only been a day) and she walks past the living room into the small bathroom and starts to strip down for a shower. Once she has removed all of her clothes and thrown them in the bin she stands in front of her full-length mirror that is propped up behind the bathroom door.

It’s not the first time she’s done this. It has in fact, become almost ritualistic for her. Rose starts with her skull. She traces the thick white scar that starts at the middle of her head and follows it down to just above the nape of her neck where it stops. Her hair mostly hides it and if she actually takes the time to do her hair she can completely hide it from view (Thank you Dr. Gregory). Next her fingers trace over the finer, thinner, silvery white scars under both her clavicles and she reaches for the vitamin E lotion. After getting enough lotion in her hand she rubs some on each of those two scars. Running the fingers of one hand down her sternum and coming to a stop at another faded (Thank you Dr. Barrett) silvery white scar that runs from her navel, around her side and onto her back, she puts lotion on this one as well. She then traces along the lines of the scar that leads from her where her hip meets her thigh and down to the center of her thigh on her right side. It’s not the worst scar she has, but it’s the hardest to hide, at least in the summer and she applies the lotion to that one too. There are others as well. Smaller marks that are there scattered about her body to remind her of her time with Jimmy.

Not all of her scars can be accredited to him though. There is a series of smaller, very faint marks all uniform in length, width and distance from each other along the inside of her left upper arm. There are 15 lines all uniform. She doesn’t need to count them, never has. She knows how many there are because she put them there. That happened in the days just after the coma and rehabilitation facility. When the days and nights of being alone with her own thoughts became too much. When the silence of being in her own head turned on her and became Jimmy’s voice or on rare occasion, her mums. As awful as having Jimmy in her head was, it was worse when the voice became her mums. It was always the same words, the last time they had spoken to each other.

Her mum drunk and angry screaming about how awful she was. How if she’d known she was giving birth to the antichrist she’d have had that abortion Aaron begged her to get. How her father didn’t want her even then and how ashamed he’d be to see the worthless estate trash slag she’d grown into. That had been what finally broke Rose.

When she remembered her dad, he was warm and safe. He was sleigh rides at Christmas and beach days during the summer. He was playing catch and her first cup of coffee. He was her hero and she was daddy’s little girl. After he died and things became bad with her mum, Rose held onto those memories of her father and her happy family. When Jackie took those memories and made them lies, explained how Aaron had never fuckin’ wanted her and she was a huge mistake; she broke. A piece of her shattered and it has never been put back.

_“If your father weren’t so fuckin’ worthless and broke we coulda’ had the cash for the abortion, then maybe he wouldn’ta been stuck working that shitty fuckin’ night job your whole worthless life. Wouldn’ta been walkin’ home in the dark to get stabbed to begin with, stupid worthless slag. All you ever done is cost me money, now you cost your dad everthin’ because he only worked at the fuckin’ job to pay for your lazy worthless ass.”_

Rose had left then, moved in with Jimmy and she’s not seen or heard from her mum since. She still doesn’t know if Jackie even knows what happened to her. She knows her mum is still on the estates, still in the same flat. She sees cousin Mo from time to time in the shops. She always asks after Rose, how she’s doing, if she’s taking care of herself and she’s always got information to share on Jackie. So at least Rose knows she’s still alive. She hopes that someday she can see her mum again, hopes that one day Jackie will allow her back into her life, hopes that the things Jackie said the last time they spoke were out of pain and drink, rather than what she really thinks of her only child. Rose realizes it’s been 10 years since she’s seen or heard from her mum. With that thought crashing through her she climbs into the shower, turns on the water and cries as the not quite hot enough water drizzles down her back from the too old nozzle.

After her cry in the shower she towels herself off, throws on an old pair of sweatpants and her softest jumper, slides into her ratty old slippers and heads to her kitchen. Her flat is small; kitchen/dining room/living room combo, tiny bathroom: shower, sink and toilet and her equally tiny bedroom, just enough space for her twin mattress that lies on the floor. She has a small dresser, which is actually a plastic tote that she found on the curb and her small bedside lamp that sits on her dresser.

No one has ever been here but her. She’s never brought anyone home and she’s never wanted her people to see how she lived. It’s obvious from the outside that she doesn’t have a posh flat, but the outside is 100 times better than the inside. She thinks she could make it better, homier but she just…doesn’t. Rose sets the kettle on to boil and turns on her telly, flicking through the channels until she finds something she can fall asleep to. She places the teabag in her mug and pours the water over it, adds a dash of cream and a teaspoon of sugar, heads to the loveseat, pulls the blanket that’s always there over her and settles in for her night. She’s asleep within minutes.

Jon rushes home from the office. It’s been a terribly long day. Well…it hasn’t really, but it’s been a terribly emotional day both good and bad and that made the day seem very long. Now he just wants to be home. He turns the key in the lock pushes open the door and steps into his flat. Tosses the keys into the dish on the table next to the door and throws his coat on the rack. He needs tea, so he heads to the kitchen to put the kettle on to boil. The lights in the flat are on, so either Jack was home or is home, though he’s nowhere to be seen. He’s’ likely in bed…not alone. After he puts the kettle on to boil he heads to his room. Once inside he closes the door and starts to undress. He needs a shower and heads to the en suite. He turns on the water as hot as it will go and finishes stripping down, throws his clothes in the bin and stands in front of the mirror.

He’s never really done this before, never really had a reason to. He sees his reflection looking back at him and he’s pale, pasty white, smattering of freckles across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. His nose has never been right since that year. He had tried to have it re-broken and set again but it didn’t help, now it veers off to the side, he doesn’t think it’s too noticeable. To him his wonky ear is much more discernible. Jon sees empty dark brown eyes, nothing special about them. He’s skinny, too skinny, scrawny even, too tall and lanky, that’s why he wears so many layers, they help him look just a bit bigger than he really is.

He wonders what women see when they look at him. Jon doesn’t think it’s the same things he sees in the mirror. There’s not been a shortage of interest in him over the years by both women and men so he thinks there must be something physically attractive about him. He remembers Amy accusing Rose of ogling, so she must see something in him that he just doesn’t see.

Rose…she’s gorgeous. He meant what he said to Donna. She is truly the most beautiful creature he’s ever laid eyes on, far too beautiful to be seen around the geekish scrawny type he is. But still…ogling…that’s a good sign he supposes. He steps away from the mirror with a small sigh and climbs into the shower.

“Owwww!!! Hot Hot Hot!!!” he yelps as he hastily jumps out of the water. Turning the water back to the cooler side just a little he makes a mental note to tell Jack to quit playing with the water heater. He thinks it’s funny and sometimes it is, but that was just too hot and not at all funny.

Jon washes his hair and scrubs off the rest of his body. He lays his head against the wall allowing the now much more skin friendly temperature water to run down his back. He loves his shower with water spraying from all directions. He had the whole en suite professionally redone a few years back and it’s wonderful. There is a huge bathtub, which he can lay his lanky form all the way down in, soft white tiles mixed in with harder dark blue ones. A floor to ceiling length mirror on one wall and double sinks on the other and a towel warmer. He even had them place heating under the dark hardwood flooring and there is of course the toilet, but really it’s a toilet not much to say about those he thinks. Well…unless it was one of those made of gold toilets or something, but it’s not...just a normal one. After standing in the shower for what felt like hours, Jon finally turns the water off and steps out. Using one towel to wrap around his hips he grabs the other to start drying off his hair as he steps back into his room.

“Wow, twice in one day. I’m beginning to think I’m a lucky man,” Jack says.

“Do you ever knock? A closed door typically encourages one to stay out unless invited,” Jon replies, making eye contact with Jack, “Oh and stop fucking with the hot water heater you prick!” Jack’s laughing now, as Jon knew he would be. Sometimes he finds Jack’s childish antics funny, endearing even, not today though, today it was just rude as is his now persistent laughing. “Jack, did you come in here for a reason or just to watch me towel off?” he asks snidely.

Jack strides over to him, “You left the kettle on again, I made your tea,” he says, presenting the cup from behind his back

“Err…right, thanks and sorry I forgot the kettle again. Did it…uh…when it whistled did it wake you? I didn’t see you in the main flat when I came in,” Jon says reaching for the mug.

“Nah was in the shower myself, was a long day my friend. But all in all I think things are going according to plan so can’t complain too much,” Jack smirks.

“So just hanging out in my room to bring me tea or is there something else?” asks Jon.

“Well, why don’t you put on some clothes? Or you know not, whichever and come out to the living room and we can chat,” Jack says making his way to the door.

“Yeah, okay give me a minute,” Jon replies.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech in Italics is remembered conversations.

Jon puts his mug of tea down on the nightstand, stomps to his dresser, pulls out his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, drags them on, slides his feet into his slippers, grabs his tea and heads out to see what Jack wants to talk about now. Talk, talk, talk, talk, he feels like that’s all he’s done the last 2 days. Talk with Reinette, talk with Jack, talk with Donna; he’s talked more in the last 36 hours than he did in years of therapy for fucks sake.

All he wanted to do was have a shower, nice cup of tea and bum out in front of mindless telly until he could pass out; but no, now more fucking talking! As he steps into the living room he sees Jack flicking through telly channels on the couch, beer in his other hand. Jon doesn’t think he looks upset so maybe it’s just a, hey how was your day kinda chat?

“Okay, what’s up?” Jon says, wanting to be done with this.

“Not that this isn’t a great look, but I much prefer the dripping wet, only in a towel ensemble you were rockin’ 5 minutes ago,” Jack says leering at him.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m very manly and you want my hot body, these are well-established facts, no need to rehash them, so if that’s all you needed…” he trails off.

“Well, no. Not all I wanted,” Jack smirks back at him.

“Yes okay, funny banter, messed up water heater and crude innuendo, other than that what did you need Jack?” he asks, trying to move this along. 

“Have you read your email yet?” Jack asks.

“No, why?” Jon queries back at him.

“Donna is setting up a, what did she call it? Shindig or hootenanny,” he chuckles, “Anyway Potluck party, you know bring your favorite dish, come hang out with friends for a few board games and some laughter, endless coffee and biscuits. It will be Donna, Amy, Rory, Clara and her date if she chooses to bring one, you, and me of course and Rose. Nothing major just a gathering of friends for a fun filled sober evening of good food, great company and hopefully someone kicking your skinny ass in board games.”

Jon walks over and sets his tea on the table in front of the couch and slumps next to Jack into the cushions and says, “So you’ve involved Donna then? She’s the one doing the set up for me to meet Rose?”

“Yep,” Jack responds popping the p just as Jon would normally.

Jon thinks about that, Donna being involved. That means Jack is worried, worried he will screw this up or Jon will screw this up. Donna is meticulous when it comes to details, all details. It doesn’t matter what the task is, she is unrelenting if it’s not perfect in every way. Jon loves that about her. It’s part of the reason he begged her to leave her previous job as a temp and come be his secr…err…administrative assistant. A larger part was that he decided he missed her. After trying to shake loose of her for several years and him realizing she would simply not allow that to happen…he missed her. The pay was much better for her too and she would be in Cardiff with him.

“That’s probably for the best. Donna will make sure everything runs smoothly and she’ll keep an eye on me close enough to make sure I don’t cock anything up too badly,” Jon muses.

“Yeah, that was my line of thought as well,” Jack, states.

Jon’s looking at him now, waiting. He knows there’s more Jack wants to say and he really wishes he’d just get to it. It’s been an emotionally exhausting few days and he thinks he may even get some sleep tonight if he would move this along. Still he’s said nothing else; he’s sipping on his beer staring at the telly vacantly. “So, is that all you needed? Cause I really am rather knackered,” Jon says trying to prod him along.

Jack turns to him then, shakes his head no as he downs the last of his beer and says, “Jon, are you really okay with all this? I mean you seem to be handling everything very well for a man who hasn’t had any interest in anyone in a lot of years. I need to know that you’re sure before this happens.”

“Worried I’ll fuck this up?” he asks. Jack opens his mouth to deny that he thinks that but Jon waves off his denial. “Yeah…I’m worried I’ll fuck it up too, so don’t feel bad about being worried for your friend. She’s your friend, you care about her and really my track record in this area is not splendid. I’m not an idiot. I know I suck at this…at relationships. It’s why I asked you for help,” Jon says as he shrugs his shoulders.

“Why now though? And why Rose?” Jack asks.

“Which do you want me to answer first? Why now or why Rose?” Jon responds.

Jack is taken aback with how forthcoming and willing to talk Jon is being about this whole situation. Anytime Jack, Donna, Amy and Rory have tried to set him up he’s always hemmed, hawed and stammered his way out of it. Jon babbles like a moron while walking backwards, tripping over his own feet and fleeing the scene as fast as possible, so for Jack this is weird. He chooses to go with the more elusive answer to him first, “Why now?” he asks

“That’s the easy one,” Jon’s chuckles, “I’m tired of being alone...lonely. There’s you and Donna of course, Amy and Rory and to a lesser extent Clara, but it’s still just me isn’t it? I can surround myself with friends but it’s still just me. I’m alone every night. Alone watching telly, alone cooking dinner, alone walking around the little shops, alone in the park, alone watching the stars, alone…dreaming of a life that I cannot have alone. I’m done with being alone. Do you really think you’re the only one of us that has dreams of a future? Granted your vision of the future and mine are very likely different things, but I do have them,” he finishes in a very soft voice.

Jack is stunned silent. He’s staring at Jon with his mouth gaping open and eyes wide in astonishment. Jon reaches over with the tips of his fingers and closes his mouth, which startles him out of his haze. Jack’s trying to process this information, he really is. He didn’t have any clue Jon felt like that. He hoped Jon was happy with his choice in being alone, which was why he had in fact been alone so long.

In darker times he worried that Jon’s decision to be alone was out of fear; a fear that Jon himself, after living through and seeing what had happened in that year would become Davros. He worried that Jon refused to form any kind of a relationship with a woman for fear of what he would do to her, but eventually, like the question of how Jon got them out, it just sort of faded into the background. Sitting there now though, Jack wonders about that again. Is he safe to have around Rose? Rose has to be the priority here; Jack cannot allow her to be hurt again (never again).

At one time Jack and Jon were essentially the same guy; both young and dumb out looking for adventure and a way to leave the past behind. Then adventure found them in the form of a buxom, curly haired, vivacious young woman named River. Jack was immediately taken with her. She had a passion for life that he’d rarely seen outside himself. His friendship with Jon was still new at the time. They’d only met a few weeks previous and had decided that bumming around together could be a good laugh for a bit.

Two weeks later that adventure turned into a nightmare and everything had changed. Life would never be the same again for Jon, Jack or River. The next year saw a bond forged in pain and fire between the two boys and at the end of that year those two boys were gone; replaced by two broken men who had nothing. Jack still doesn’t know how Jon managed to escape, still doesn’t know how he managed to come back for Jack and get them both out. Jack was far too broken to care at the time, still far too broken once they were back in London to ask and then he never really thought of how Jon got them out, he was just thankful he did.

Jack pulls himself from the memories and looks over at Jon, he’s still quiet, still processing. “So, the answer to why now is that you’re done being lonely? That’s it? That simple? 14 years perfectly content to be alone and now one day you just decide enough of that?” Jack asks skeptically.

Jon shakes his head in affirmation and says, “Yep,” popping the p, “Just like that. Well…no…not really Jack. I mean come on. Do you think I woke up yesterday and thought yep-okay time to move forward? You’ve been here this whole time; you know I’ve tried before. There were other women since then, most of them you set me up with. Where is this line of questioning going? It’s obvious something more is on your mind and this would go easier if you just said it yeah?”

“Ever, in all this time,” he’s hesitating now, not sure if he wants to ask the question. Really not sure he wants the answer to the question. “Did you ever worry you’d become like him? That you were capable of doing the things he did to us and to River? Is that why you’ve not been with anyone since?” Jack's watching Jon’s face for the reaction. He’s not sure what the reaction will be, but he knows it’s going to be bad, can’t believe he just asked that of this man who saved him, helped him, loved him.

Jon’s mind runs through a myriad of emotions in the instant the question is posed to him. Hurt, anger, betrayal, confusion then sadness and now…sick…yep, he’s going to be sick. He’s up and moving, headed into the guest loo in the hall. He's dizzy, vision blurry, stumbling in the hall slamming open the door, one hand slapping on the wall for the switch the other covering his mouth trying to hold in the vomit, knees slamming against tile, face in the toilet...he removes his hand from his face and his stomach expels everything he’s put into it in the last what feels like forever. He has no idea how long he sits in front of the toilet when the retching finally stops.

He’s weak and shaky, covered in sweat and leaning his forehead against the cool tile of the bathroom floor. Jack hands him a cool rag and he wipes first his forehead, then the back of his neck, cheeks and finally his mouth off. Takes the glass of water his friend is offering, and then takes the hand up. He rinses his mouth out and spits the water in the sink, repeating this process until the glass is empty. Jon refills it from the tap and drinks the glass down. He walks out of the loo and back to the couch leaning forward to set the glass of water on the table. He’s sitting there with his elbows on his knees and his head held in his hands, eyes closed and breathing slow.

“Jon I,” he starts to say, but Jon interrupts him.

“Is that…is that what you really think that of me?” he asks. His voice is broken, soft and he looks like someone just slit the throat of his favorite puppy right in front of him, “That I could do that…those things to anyone? You really think that about me?”

Oh he’s getting properly upset now, voice climbing higher, muscles in his neck straining, eyes squinting, jaw clenched and teeth grinding, hands balled into fists on the table in front of him and he’s pushing himself off the couch and walking in Jack’s direction.

“What? I’m not a whore so I must be a rapist? Is that how you think? That because I’m not out sticking my dick in any willing orifice every 30 bloody seconds that I’m secretly kidnapping young men and women, chaining them in secret rooms, beating and raping my way to a better life?"

Oh and he’s yelling now, not just a raised voice, proper fucking yelling, spit flying from his mouth as his control on his rage over what Jack asked him lessens by the second. The longer Jack remains quiet the angrier Jon gets because he takes it as confirmation. Confirmation that yes, the man he had spent the last 14 fucking years taking care of, piecing back together thinks he could be that.

“Have you ever seen me get violent? Ever? Have I ever treated anyone in a manner that would lead you to fucking think that I could ever do that, be that!?” Jon screams, inches from Jack’s face.

“No, just calm down please. Just listen," Jack says.

“Listen…listen! I’ve been listening for 14 years Jack. I have been here by your side listening for 14 fucking years! Here with you! And now what, because I didn’t deal with being raped and beaten and almost killed by some madman in a fucking basement by shagging the whole of the United Kingdom, I’m him? How long?” he asks.

“What? How long what?” Jack responds.

“How long has this been running around in your head about me? How long have you thought you may be living with a rapist and a murderer? 1 year, 5, 10, how long?” Jon says to him coldly.

He’s lowered his voice, he’s not yelling anymore and he has turned to head back to their couch. He sits back down in the same manner he was prior to getting up, head bent, eyes closed, elbows on his knees, hands cradling his face, thumbs rubbing his temples and he waits for Jack to answer. Jon’s done yelling it won’t solve anything. Oh he’s still really angry and very hurt, but he’s calmer now. He feels the couch dip next to him and knows Jack is sitting there, he doesn’t look up, doesn’t acknowledge him, he just waits.

“Do you want me to explain why I asked or the question of how long,” Jack’s asks in a surprisingly steady and calm voice.

“How long?’ Jon asks again through gritted teeth.

“Actually,” says Jack, “I haven’t even had that thought in years until just now. Really I was so messed up when we came back that it would never have occurred to me, but once I started getting better and Jon, I do know that I wouldn’t have if it weren’t for you. Wouldn’t have escaped, wouldn’t have gotten better, wouldn’t have any kind of life at all. So no, I do not think that of you. It had crossed my mind years ago now that maybe the reason you didn’t want to be with anyone was you were afraid you would hurt them,” Jack says quietly.

Jon looks up at him sick and sad and hurt and shocked. Jack can see tears forming in his eyes. He’s never seen Jon cry, not ever. Not even when Davros had them locked in that room, chained to walls, doing things to him and in front of him that wouldn’t be fit for a horror movie, he never cried.

“Then why…what is this all about?” Jon begs for an answer. He doesn't understand where this has come from. Can't come up with one single thing he's done to make Jack think this about him.

Jack's reply is short and succinct, “Rose. I had to ask before you met her.”

Jon is so bloody sick of this shit. Jack providing these tiny fragments of information that never comes together enough to form a whole story. He’s still really angry, mostly hurt and he’s trying to piece together these bits of information from Jack. Things Jack has told him over the last 3 years about Rose. Things Jon has observed about her while at the shop, bits of stories from Rory and Amy and a fuzzy picture of what Jack is really talking about starts forming in his mind. “Jack, is there something I should know about Rose?” he asks tentatively.

“Yes, but it’s not my story to tell. I can imagine you would not be pleased if I let her in on our past,” he says releasing a sigh.

He's right. It’s not Jack's place to tell him Rose’s story and Jon would be livid if Jack revealed the details of his own past, but what happened here tonight is starting to make more sense now. Jack had said he loved her, he did say that, but Jon thought he loved her not that he was in love with her.

“You’re in love with her,” Jon says, it isn’t a question but a statement of fact.

“Yes,” he says quietly.

“So, what you really want to know is if I’m going to hurt her?" Jon asks. Jack nods his head in confirmation. “Well…that’s a difficult question to answer. I don’t really know her do I? Haven’t been allowed to know her, have been kept from her for 3 years…by you. I don’t understand this. If you’re in love with Rose why are you not trying to be with her? This doesn’t make any sense. Why spend 3 years keeping us away from each other if you don’t want to be with her? If you were in love with her why would you not want to be with her? Why are you trying to set me up with someone you’re in love with? How does that make sense?” Jon queries.

“All very valid and important questions. OK so,” Jack blows out a breath and just goes for it, wants this over with, “I know who I am. I suffer no delusions on that matter. I was a slut before Davros and a more impressive slut after. I needed that, needed to be able to touch people and have them touch me without pain and fear. I needed to be reminded all of the time that what happened to us was a fluke, bad luck and a wrong place, wrong time kind of situation. It was easier to drown in a sea of sex induced hazy afterglow than to really put the effort in to fixing my shit. Between you taking care of me emotionally and as you put it the entire United Kingdom taking care of me physically, I had little time to think about what happened to us. Well, after the first few years anyway. As you remember I was a mess when we first got out of there. After you did what you could in the immediate aftermath, I had to find a way to live again. Shagging the whole of the UK seemed like the right idea at the time. Still does actually,” Jack laughs a little at that, “Again no delusions on who I am. I do love her, am and have been in love with her and because I love her, because she is so special I can’t be with her. I am not the kind of man she needs to be with.”

“I’m not certain this is a great idea; me meeting Rose. How would that work? How could you be okay with that? You’ve been my best mate for 15 years and I’m not willing to lose that over a very small chance that Rose may like me,” Jon states completely bewildered.

“May like you?” Jack smirks, “You sent her into a panic attack by smiling at her and ordering coffee. I think at the very least it’s safe to say she likes the look of you. Seriously, she’s never reacted to me smiling that way,” he laughs, “Rory played tonsil hockey with her in the restaurant and she didn’t freak out, so I’m gonna go out on a limb and say she’s interested.”

“What? Rory did what?” He asks, not understanding the sudden waves of jealousy that floods him at Jack's comment.

“He just gave her a little kiss, trying to cheer her up, it wasn’t a big deal,” Jack waves him off.

“Is uh…does um…Rose is she…like you and Amy and Rory?” Jon finally stammers out.

“Oh God Jon, no! No. It wasn’t like that or about that even. Rose thinks a whole lot closer to you when it comes to relationships, no worries there,” Jack rushes to assure him.

He’s becoming frustrated; he wants to explain to Jon what the hell he’s talking about but doesn’t want to betray Rose’s confidence. He’s completely cocked up this whole conversation and he’s not a little worried by half that he may have damaged his and Jon’s relationship irreparably.

“I need a beer, want one?” Jon asks him.

Jack just nods. Jon heads to the kitchen grabbing two beers out of the fridge. He comes back twisting the tops off and hands one to Jack. Jon takes a long swallow of his beer and tries to formulate what he wants to say. Before he can say anything though, Jack is standing and pacing. Jon can see he needs to say something but can’t quite find the words. “For fucks sake Jack, just say it. Really it can’t be any worse than what you’ve already said to me tonight,” Jon sighs out to him.

“OK, look, Rose has a past as we all do. Though I don’t feel like I can tell you her past, I feel like you need to understand why I said what I said tonight. I don’t know how to accomplish one without the other; understand?” Jack asks.

Jon understands. He is after all a genius. He has already put the pieces together about what Jack isn’t saying. Cryptic as Jack may try to be, he is still fairly simple to figure out.

“Jack, listen, I do get it. Rose has a past. A violent and brutal one at that if you’re questions tonight tells anything of it. Which brings us back to the question of whether I’m going to hurt her. That answer is both very simple and very complicated. First, we don’t even know that anything is going to happen between Rose and me. We may just be friends. Honestly, you putting all this pressure on for us to fall madly in love and start having babies is freaking me out a little. If, as you say, Rose thinks like I do, then I’m sure she’s just as freaked out as I am. Next: What makes you think she won’t hurt me? Did you ask her if she was a rapist, kidnapper and a murderer before agreeing to let her meet me? No? Didn’t think so,” he smirks at Jack, “Rather sexist that don’t you think? Surprising, coming from you especially. C: Maybe Rose doesn’t want what I want. Maybe she’s not looking for dogs and kids and carpets and holidays, or maybe she is but isn’t ready for it yet. Fuck, I don’t even know if I’m ready for it. I’m ready to move forward. I’m ready to try. I’m ready to be happy. That’s it. That’s all I want from life now. I just want to be fucking happy…finally. B: No…err 3? Where was I?” Jon asks.

Jack laughs at him, at Jon just being Jon again. “Right well next point: If Rose and I were to fall in love as you all seem so keen on, then yes Jack; I will hurt her…and she will hurt me. Real relationships aren’t just about smiles and kissing and making love. There are real issues, real fights, real problems and people say things and do things they shouldn’t and they hurt people they love; but that’s why we love isn’t it? So that we can fuck up and still be loved. So that we can say stupid…STUPID, angry and hateful things and be forgiven? I want the entirety of that Jack, not just the good parts of being in love with someone. I want someone who knows all of me and still loves me. Someone who can accept that yes, I may always be a bit broken. Someone who will understand that not all the pieces of me came back together in the right order and rather than love me in spite of that love me for it. I want someone who will love me now, who and what I am now,” Jon finishes quietly.

“Is that what happened tonight? A lovers’ quarrel and now you’re forgiving me because you love me?” Jack asks so quietly that Jon almost doesn’t hear him.

“We’ve never been lovers. Mores the pity as you have no idea what you’re missing out on,” Jon quips to him, “What you said tonight was awful, hurtful and I don’t like the way you did it or even that you did it at all, but love makes us do and say things that we wouldn’t otherwise; and yes I forgive you and yes I love you, but I’m still not shagging you. As much as I do love you it would be like shagging Donna…and that…that is just a level of wrong my brain cannot comprehend.”

“Actually,” Jack chimes in

"No! No! No! I told you when it happened and I stand by that. I do not want to know what it was like when you shagged my sister you weird, sick, twisted wanker!” Jon says animatedly flailing his hands about.

They both start laughing, less because anything is funny and more to release the tension between them. As they start to settle down Jack makes to move toward Jon, but he’s hesitant. A step then stop, a step then stop, after the 3rd time Jon stands, walks over to him and hugs him close. “We’re okay. You and I we’re always going to be okay,” Jon tells him.

Jack hugs him back and says, ‘Thanks.”

“I really am knackered, so if this is done for the night…” Jon says, letting the words trail off.

“Yeah, right, no go to bed. Don’t forget to reply to Donna’s email tonight or you’ll be dealing with the beast tomorrow,” Jack tells him.

Jon nods, heading back to his room. He needs this night to be over, needs to forget Jack ever said those things to him, needs to stuff all the memories back in that part of his brain that’s locked up tight. He’s done with being miserable. It’s definitely time to move forward.

Jack is disgusted with himself. He of course knows Jon would never, could never be what he accused him of tonight. He’s not sure where Jon gets the strength to keep putting up with his shit, fixing him over and over again, but Jack is so grateful that he has it. He thinks he could probably survive without Jon now. He doesn’t need him the way he did years ago, but he can’t imagine his life without Jon in it. HE sits on the couch and thinks about what Jon said tonight; thinks about how he defines love so differently than Jack. He briefly wonders if he’s gotten it wrong. If the way Jon wants to do things is the right way? Well it probably is the right way for someone like Jon and hopefully Rose, but he could never live that life. The same person day after day, really he has Jon for that. Jack grabs the beer bottles off the table, throws them in the recycling bin and heads to bed. Today's over and tomorrows a new day, and he wonders how much he’ll mess up then too.


	7. Chapter 7

Jon didn’t sleep at all. He had lain there all night, his mind going over everything that happened in the last few days. He has more questions than answers. He wonders how long Rose had been asking after him. He is more than a little annoyed that he had made the effort to get Jack to introduce her to him and was rebuffed every time. He knows Jack never told Rose that he asked about her. Jon thinks he could have been happy a long time ago if Jack wasn’t such a selfish prick. He thinks that Rose would not be pleased about Jack’s behavior as well. He thinks a lot of things lying there in the dark. In the light of day however, one thought more than any other sticks out.

He's done playing by everyone else’s rules. As far as Jon is concerned Jack lost any right to say anything to him for a good long while after last night. He also thinks that he’s not waiting until some dinner party to meet Rose. That’s not how it should happen. He knows his friends, his family is only doing what they think is best for him and likely Rose as well, but he doesn’t agree. And since Jon is a proper fucking adult man, he’s taking control of the situation.

He’s let all of them coddle him long enough and he’s done. None of them, not one has asked him what he wants in this...or any other situation really. He doubts they have asked Rose either, wonders if she’s as pissed about the whole thing as he is. But no…he knows she’s not because she doesn’t know the situation. Well that’s fine too. Better really, no reason to upset her unnecessarily. He grabs his iPad off the bedside table and opens his email. There’s the e-vite from Donna and he responds in short order. Yes he will be there, yes he will bring some kind of food thing, no it won’t be homemade but it will be delicious.

After that he opens his work email and fires off another email to Donna. He states he will not be in to the office today, please cancel any and all meetings he has, please find a sub for his classes, then take the day off and go have a picnic with Lee. Jon gets up and heads for a shower. He still feels the sweat and the sick covering him from last night and he needs that to be gone right now.

A quick rinse in the shower, a less quick shave in front of the mirror then brushes his teeth. He takes 30 minutes to get his hair perfect and heads to his closet for some clothes. Jon searches through his suits and tries to come up with something but nothing is striking him as right and he needs this to be right. He leaves the closet and heads to his dresser. In the bottom drawer is a pair of jeans that he bought forever ago and has only worn once or twice maybe, so basically brand new. He grabs socks, pants and a black t-shirt; heads back to the closet, grabs a white button up with black and grey stripes on it, his old beaten down black leather Jacket and his black chucks.

Once he has all the components he tosses everything on the bed and begins to dress. Jon’s done with waiting. He’s done waiting for Jack to be okay, waiting for him to be okay, waiting for every small bloody detail to fall into place before he acts. He’s done waiting to move forward and he’s done waiting to be happy. He doesn’t know why it took him so long to realize it. Jon wants to be happy and just like anything else he’s wanted he has to make that happen. Being happy isn’t going to be delivered to him like a Christmas present. He’s going to have to go out and get it, just like his education, just like escaping from Davros, just like everything since his parents died. He will make this happen. He will make himself be happy because he’s so bloody tired of waiting. Jon gets dressed, doesn’t bother checking the mirror. He grabs his wallet and his keys off the table by the door and heads out to H&W.

Rose wakes up freezing, curled into a ball on her couch. It’s just after New Year, the temperature is ridiculously cold and her blanket had slipped in the night. She grabs her phone and looks at the time. She could probably go back to bed for another hour or so, but she’s already up and a cup of coffee and a hot shower are required to thaw her out before she heads to work. Unfolding herself from the couch she stumbles into the kitchen to start the coffee and heads to the loo for a shower. As she lets the not quite hot enough water drizzle down over her from the too old nozzle, several thoughts flit through her mind.

1) She needs to get the landlord to fix the heater.

2) She needs to get the landlord to fix the hot water.

3) She needs to get the landlord to fix the shower nozzle.

4) Will she see Jon today?

5) Has Jack told Jon he wants them to meet?

6) She wonders if Jack will let her leave early today. It’s been a rough few days and she feels like she needs a little downtime.

Rose stops thinking when the water turns frigid. Right...clothes, coffee, work in that order. She towels off, grabs a pair of jeans, a white soft jumper and her pink chucks, heads to her dresser and gets a pair of knickers, socks and a bra. Once dressed she goes into the kitchen and pours a cup of coffee and heads back to her couch to put on some make-up. A little concealer to hide the dark circles, small amount of blush to hide her pasty whiteness, she goes light on the mascara and kohl around her eyes, not wanting to draw too much attention to the fact she looks like a zombie and a light pink lippy to finish it off. She heads back into the loo, brushes out her hair, pulls the front into a barrette to keep it out of her face (and hide the scar) and brushes her teeth. Done. She grabs her wallet and keys out of the bowl by the door, pulls on her off-white trench coat and heads out to work.

When Jon gets to the shop he sees Amy behind the counter, waves and smiles at her. She looks up barely and waves then looks again and freezes. She looks at her watch then back at Jon, looks at the calendar then back at Jon, then she just looks at Jon.

“Well hey there good looking. You wouldn’t happen to have seen my friend Jon would you? He looks a bit like you but usually wears stuffy suits and gives off a naughty professor vibe. No? Well I’m sure my friend Jon, who could be your twin by the way, is at work where all good little boys are on a Thursday at 9:30 am. So stranger what can I get ya?” Amy says grinning ear to ear at him.

Jon looks around Amy to the back, she’s not there. She must not be here yet…good…that’s…good. That will give him some time to get back the bluster he had this morning when he got up. Right, Amy’s is talking to him, “What?” he asks.

“Coffee?” Amy asks, “Did you want some? Are you okay Jon?”

“Right, yes coffee would be lovely, thank you Amy.”

“So what’s with the get up and why aren’t you at work?” she asks still grinning.

“There’s nothing with the get up. I’m taking the day off, decided to be a little more casual is all,” he replies, going for nonchalant, but coming off as extremely nervous.

“Riiight. Well whatever the reason, you look hot. I didn’t even know you could look like that. You know in the more than 3 years we’ve known each other I don’t think I have ever seen you in jeans,” Amy says while waggling her eyebrows.

 

He’s lost the courage he had earlier and needs to get it back rightfuckingnow! He knows she’s going to be here soon and he doesn’t want to be the bumbling idiot the first time they talk. He forces a more confident smile on his face and makes eye contact with Amy, “Well sweetheart there’s quite a bit you don’t know about me,” Jon says to her with a huge grin and waggling his eyebrows back at her.

“Riiiight,” she says again. Amy looks him over, amused at his attempts with flirting and he crumbles with it.

She laughs at him, pats him on the back like a small child and says, “Jon honey, what’s going on? I mean you look great but this, I don’t know smooth suave guy isn’t you. It could just be that I know you, so that’s making it a little weird but I don’t think so. It’s just not who you are. You’re way too worried about this. Honestly, Rose will like you for you, not some machismo version of you. Really, she’s very lovely and not at all judgey, besides she already thinks you’re gorgeous and I know she has a thing for your hair. I always catch her staring at it. However; I am digging the new clothes…my suggestion?”

“Oh God! Yes please,” Jon whimpers to her as his face shows the sheer terror he’s feeling.

“Keep the threads, ditch the machismo and smile because she’s walking in the door right now,” Amy snickers as she heads over to Rose.

“Rose sweetie, you’re supposed to have the day off. Didn’t I tell you Clara and I were covering your shift today? But she’s not here yet so would you mind grabbing the register while I skip off to the loo real fast? Thanks you’re a doll,” Amy dashes past Jon and winks over her shoulder at him. He knows Amy had no idea he was going to do this, but he loves her so much in this moment for playing along.

Before Rose can say anything or even put her bag down Amy is flitting away. “Err…yeah okay...sure,” Rose calls after her, but she’s already in the loo and the door is shut. Okay…that was just odd Rose thinks heading to the register. Getting behind the counter she says, “Be right there, so sorry for the wait,” without looking up. She sets her purse under the counter, walks to the register and says, “Right…what can I get for ya?”

Just as she brings her head up so does Jon. Their eyes lock and she freezes. He smiles at her and it’s beautiful she thinks. She can feel the corners of her mouth tugging up and she’s fighting the urge to lower her eyes. He brings his right hand up, offers it to her and says, “Hello,” quite softly.

“Um…hello,” Rose replies shyly, “Did uh…can I get you coffee or tea or...”

“Nope,” he says interrupting her.

He’s still holding his hand out wiggling his fingers at her. He’s looking down at it then back at her and, Oh Fuck, he’s waiting to shake her…but no, that’s not how you shake someone’s hand she thinks. Slightly bemused she offers her hand in return and Jon entwines their fingers together.

“Hello,” he says again, pulling her from behind the counter with a cat that got the cream (sexy as fucking hell) grin, “My name is Jon Ardis and you are Rose Tyler yeah?”

Rose isn’t sure what’s happening right now. She has a smile on her face that she hasn’t had in years, if ever. There is this electrical tingly feeling in her hand that is entwined with his and it’s starting to spread throughout the rest of her body. She knows she should be pulling her hand away. Retreat back to being H&W coffee girl, take his order and send him on his way; she just can’t seem to do it. It may have taken some time for her to get back on her feet after Jimmy, but she did it…alone. No hand outs, no taking the dole, no running home to mummy. She’s ready to be happy again, ready to become whatever it is she is meant to become from this fucked up mess that life threw at her.

She looks up into Jon’s face and sees he’s waiting for her to make a decision. He’s still holding her hand and her brain is a little fuzzy from the tingly electrical feeling. She chooses to move forward in her life. “Yes,” she says and it comes out a little small and a lot shy.

He smiles down at her and says, “It’s lovely to meet you Rose Tyler, now RUN!” He’s pulls her out the door and down the street before she has a chance to react.

She has no idea what’s going on. He’s pulling her along at an almost breakneck speed and she can’t keep track of the turns and alleys that he’s taking her through. She thinks she should say something, tell him to stop, ask what’s going on, find out where he’s taking her. At the very least find out what they are running from, but all her breath is being used to keep up with running and she can’t get any words out. Rose is not a runner. It’s not that she out of shape because she’s not. She does yoga at home and she walks everywhere she goes, but she’s never been a runner and now she has a stitch in her side.

As she starts slowing down he is forced to slow down with her. Once he realizes that it’s her slowing him down he comes to a stop. She leans back against the wall to catch her breath, hand covering her side and pushing in where the stitch is. He comes over and leans against the wall beside her, crosses his legs and his arms and waits for her to catch her breath. She has a lot of questions and doesn’t really know which one to start with, so she goes with the one foremost on her mind, “What’s going on? Why are we running like the devil himself is after us?” she pants out.

He takes a good look at her; she doesn’t look upset just confused…that’s good he thinks. “As for what is going on Rose Tyler; we are playing hooky. As for why we are running, well a good run never hurt anyone. Also I wanted to get us as far away from the shop as quickly as possible before one of our lovely and very well meaning friends could stop us,” he finishes in a very quiet, small voice.

The first thing she notices is the way he says her name. She’s never heard her name sound like that before. Her name coming from his lips sounds like a sin being committed, but the good kind. The next thing she notices is a very hesitant smile aimed in her direction, he’s nervous. Then she notices that it is cold as a dog’s bollocks out here. She wraps he arms around herself in an effort to generate some heat as she rubs her hands up and down her arms.

“Shit, oh fuck. God Rose I’m so sorry,” he says, taking off his Jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders, “I didn’t even think to let you grab your coat. I’m so sorry. God I’m cocking this up already.”

“What exactly is this?” she questions quietly, head down and eyes staring at her chucks.

Jon hadn’t gotten this far into the planning. He wasn’t actually sure he’d make it past the Hi...Jon…lovely weather part. “Yes…well…” he sees her grabbing for her phone out of her back pocket. He needs to act quickly before she calls their friends for a rescue from the crazy weirdo who just essentially kidnapped her from her job. Jon reaches out to her, stops just shy of touching and says, “No, wait please? Before you call in the cavalry and Jack shows up to take you away, let me explain?”

She’s looking at him…mostly. No eye contact, but she hasn’t dialed her phone and she’s waiting for him to explain. He pushes himself off the wall, extends his hand back out to her and wiggles his fingers. She’s hesitant, reaching slowly to grab it then pulling back just slightly, then reaching out again. He waits. He will not rush her. She has to feel comfortable with this on her own, so he waits, keeping his hand extended to her. Rose finally takes it and he entwines their fingers together again.

There it is again she thinks. What is that feeling? She’s felt it before, when he’d come into the shop. It was like…a small pulse of energy in the air then. Now though, it’s like electrical currents running through her hand, up and down her spine and down to her toes making them curl in her chucks. She pulls her hand back and the feeling lessens. Without direct contact it’s more like an aftershock from an electrical current. She grabs his hand again and he entwines their fingers.

The way their hands fit, it’s like two puzzle pieces slotting together perfectly. She thinks he probably thinks she’s a nutter now. First she hesitates grabbing his hand, then lets go and now grabs it again, all without saying anything. She’s staring at their entwined hands because she doesn’t know what’s going on, doesn’t know if that feeling is something he’s doing or if he can even feel it…maybe she is a nutter.

Jon pulls her out of the alley and says, “Right…explanations are in order, but first heat.” He steps into the first door they come to hoping it’s somewhere they can sit and talk and be warm and dry. He has no plan now. Has no idea what he’s going to say or do and thinks maybe he should have just waited for the dinner party tomorrow and NO! No more bloody waiting and no more allowing his friends, as lovely and well meaning as they may be, to make his decisions and control how his life is going to play out…just no. He looks to see they have stepped into a coffee shop of all places. At least their friends aren’t here watching them like hawks in this one and it’s warm, dry and has coffee.

Splendid…lovely, they will have coffee and talk. Jon walks them up to the counter and they stand in line. She hasn’t said anything since the alley and he’s starting to worry that she thinks he’s crazy, but she also hasn’t left and she also hasn’t called for help. It’s a good sign, he thinks. They order their drinks and he pays the cashier while she releases his hand to grab a table. He sees her go for a table all the way in the back apart from everyone else. Jon grabs the drinks from the counter, heads over to her, sets her drink in front of her and takes the chair across from her to sit in. She’s doing that thing where she’s not really making eye contact but almost; so she’s nervous he can tell at least that much.

“Don’t…don’t be scared Rose. I’m not a freak or anything okay?” he says, hoping his voice isn’t as shaky to her as it sounds to him. She gives him a small smile, which he takes as a sign to continue. Lovely, he’s not run her off…yet. “Right…explanations. Well to be honest I hadn’t planned this far out. Okay so we did the introductions right?" he points to himself, “Jon,” then he points to her, “Rose…yep covered that. Did I mention the lovely weather we’re having?” He’s floundering now, he can feel the oncoming babble about to unleash itself at her and he needs to temper that...or...maybe not. Isn’t that what he wants, someone to love who and what he is now?

“Okay yes. I nicked you from work because…well…tomorrow our lovely and wonderful and very well meaning mutual friends are throwing a dinner party. Not sure if you knew that? Um…yes…and we; you and I are to be the guests of honor at said party. We are going to spend the day tomorrow being polished, primped, coached on what to say, what not to say, what to wear, what to eat, what to drink or not drink as the case may be and then we are going to be put on display for all of our still very lovely and wonderful and very well meaning mutual friends,” he stammers at her rapidly.

He stops to gauge her reaction so far. She seems…quiet, has said nothing since ordering her drink, but she’s still here, still listening and he thinks he can see a hint of a smile starting at the corners of her mouth so he pushes forward. “I just…I wanted to meet you before that. Before all the wear this, eat that, say this but not that started, just me…and just you. Two totally not normal, more than a little broken people getting to know each other before all the primping and play-acting begins. Um…is that…is that okay?” he asks, suddenly timid.

Rose looks at him, takes in his posture, much less confident than at the shop and listens to his voice. Its timid, hesitant…almost shy but trying for strong. She can do this. It’s a conversation...that’s all. You can do this she tells herself. I am Rose Tyler. I survived growing up in the estates, survived life with Jimmy for 5 years and survived the last 5 years after him as well. Yes, I am broken, yes I have issues, but this is a fucking conversation not nuclear physics - I can do this.

Sitting up straight she squares her shoulders, brings her head up (still not making eye contact), grabs her phone from her back pocket and taps out a text to Amy, “I’m fine…we’re fine…please don’t tell anyone…thanks.” She can see he thinks she’s calling for reinforcements and she still hasn’t found her voice so she timidly offers up the phone so he can see what she wrote before hitting send.

Jon sees her sit up; straighten her shoulders as if preparing for a battle of some sort and then grab for her phone. Yep, he cocked this up. He wonders how someone so smart can be so fucking stupid at the same time. He went too fast, pushed and pulled her along at his speed. He should have waited for tomorrow, should have…his thoughts trail off as he sees she’s offering up her phone to him. He has no idea why she’s doing it but he takes it. He reads the text that is still showing unsent and a huge smile breaks onto his face. His finger hovers over the send button and he looks to her in askance, permission to send it and she smiles at him. It's a proper smile he thinks. To Jon, it’s as if the clouds have parted in the sky and this is the first time he’s seen the sun in ages, he hits send.

Amy watches Jon and Rose from the behind the cracked bathroom door. She watches Jon offer his hand to Rose and she hesitates but takes it. She watches as he pulls her around the counter and smiles at her. It’s like she’s watching some huge Hollywood produced romantic film play out in live action before her. It’s romantic, need to see a dentist tooth achingly sweet and she thinks there should be soft instrumental music playing in the background just as the sun breaks through the clouds and she wants him to kiss her so badly, because the movie playing out in her head screams for it, but he doesn’t and then they are running full tilt out of the store and she has no idea what just happened.

She realizes that there is no one out front now to cover the register and make drinks, so she leaves the loo and heads back to the register. She pulls out her phone and sends a text to Clara asking her to come in and help at the store, then sets about trying to find the lists that Rose lives by when working. Amy is about twenty minutes into searching when she gets a text from Clara: On My Way!

“Oh thank God,” Amy mutters to herself, “I have no clue how to actually run this store.”

Shortly after that Rory comes in and places his bags in his seat at his table. She makes him his standard mocha with a shot of peanut butter syrup and sets it down at his table.

“Amy, are you here alone? Where is everyone?” Rory asks looking around the shop.

She takes a seat next to him and looks around the store. It’s basically vacant, 3 customers who seem content to be left alone with their noses in books or laptops then just her and now Rory. “Clara is on her way to help out and Rose took the day off with Jon,” she says like it’s no big deal, but the smile on her face is huge and Rory can tell there is a story she’s just dying to get out. Just then her phone vibrates indicating a new text.

“I’m fine, we’re fine…please don’t tell anyone. Thanks.” Amy types, “Have fun, don’t do anything I would do!” and sets her phone down.

Rory sees her smile widen. He didn’t think that was possible, but there it is all gleaming teeth and raised lips. He can’t help but smile back at her, can’t help but think how beautiful she is when she smiles like that, especially when it’s at him. He loves her. Loves seeing and making her smile like that, always wants her to look like that. Wants that to be the last thing he sees before he dies because he thinks it’s the closest thing to heaven he’ll ever achieve. “You have to tell me what put that smile on your face so I can make sure it happens daily,” Rory tells her sweetly as Clara comes rushing in the door.

Clara looks like she’s in a panic at first. She looks around the shop, sees that it’s basically dead and walks up to Amy and Rory. Amy sees Clara’s eyes squint and her lips purse up as she’s walking over to them. She walks up to Amy, reaches out and pinches her arm hard enough it will likely bruise.

“Amelia Jessica Pond! Don’t you ever, EVER, ever do that to me again! I thought something had happened for Christ’s sake! Dang it Amy, I was really worried,” she huffs out as she drops into one of the chairs. As Clara sits the door opens again and in walks Jack followed by an irritated looking Donna. They stop just inside the door, take a quick glance around the store, see it’s virtually empty, spot Rory, Amy, Clara and walk over.

“Clara, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you in class? Amy where’s Rose? Has Jon been in this morning?” Jack asks them all hastily. Donna hasn’t said anything yet, but all 3 people sitting at the table can see she is quite obviously annoyed.

Clara responds to Jack by taking out her phone and showing the text she received from Amy, it simply reads, “STORE NOW!”

“Amy?” Jack asks, “What’s going on?”

Amy stands up, moves so she can see all of them at once and says, “Okay in the order asked,” she points to Rory indicating he asked the first question, “Jon and Rose,” then she looks to Jack, “Rose has taken the day off and yes Jon was in here earlier,” she then turns to Clara and pinches her back, “That fucking hurt Clara and it’s gonna leave a bruise,” she looks at Donna and asks, “What’s got your knickers in a twist today? You look very unhappy.”

“Did he seem okay when he came in?” Donna asks.

“Yes, he was fine why?” Amy replies.

“He sent me an email this morning saying he wasn’t coming in today, to cancel all of his meetings and for me to take the day off, that’s why,” Donna snaps out.

“And you’re upset he took the day off?” Amy says confused.

“Yes! No! He didn’t say why he wasn’t coming in. Something has to be wrong. You all know him. He doesn’t call in. He never calls in to work and he gave no explanation as to why,” Donna says in an almost panic.

“Who gave Rose the day off anyways?” asks Jack.

“Okay, listen you two,” Amy says pointing at Jack and Donna. They see she has that scary Amy look. The one not even Donna really wants to mess with. They both take a step back as she takes a step in their direction and continues to speak. “Now, you listen to me. Jon is a 33-year-old man and if he wants a day off work he can have it without needing to explain himself to the likes of you two. Rose is a 27-year-old woman and she’s had a rough few days. If she wants a day off work, from this store that she is at almost every minute of her life because she is a good employee, a terrific manager and a great fucking friend to you Jack, then I am going to give her a day off. They are not children and you two acting like they are only hinders them. Seriously, come on guys! You have to let them figure this out at least partially on their own. If not then it’s not a relationship, it’s them allowing us to be puppeteers, pulling their strings and making them dance how we want. This isn’t about you Jack or you Donna. I know you love them and are worried but they are not children so backthefuckoff! Got it?” Amy yells at them.

Both Donna and Jack nod in acceptance of her tirade. They know better than to say anything to her when she’s like this. She stands up and grabs her phone off the table, walks to the computer in the office, plugs her phone into it, taps a few buttons, disconnects the phone and walks back over to the table. She then plugs her phone into Rory’s laptop, taps a few keys and turns the screen so everyone can see it.

“Now, just keep your mouths shut and watch and listen,” Amy says, directing their attention to the paused video on the laptop screen. Once she sees they are all watching she clicks the play button and turns up the volume as loud as it will go. She thinks she should feel bad about showing them all what happened earlier in the store. It was after all a private moment and Rose had asked her not to tell anyone, but Amy needs them all to see this, needs them to understand that these two people are not incapable of living their own lives.

They all watch and listen to the video that starts with Jon walking in. They listen to the conversation between Amy and Jon. Rory snickers as he hears Jon try to flirt with Amy and her response to it. They see Rose come in and Amy dash away, watch as Jon holds his hand out to Rose and listens as he introduces himself, watch as they go running out of the store hand in hand.

“Does that look like the image of a man who needs either of you to hold his hand and tell him how to get the girl? Cause from where I was standing he seemed perfectly capable to me. And Rose, did it look like she was freaking out? Did she seem sacred or like she was trying to get away from him? No, it didn’t,” Amy tells them sharply.

“Awe, that was so sweet,” Clara coos, “It’s like watching a fairytale movie,” she says to everyone with a dopey smile. “And who knew Jon could look like that? I mean wow! Did you guys even know he owned jeans? It should be illegal for him to wear those, I mean seriously, just yummy!”

“Ok, Jon just showed up and took Rose?” Jack asks, clearly still a little stunned by the video.

“And you just let them go?” Donna adds with a shocked expression

“ARRGGG!!! Of course I let them go. What would you have had me do? Tackle and hog-tie them until you and Jack arrived? Why, for what purpose? What would you have done if I’d demanded they not leave? Did you see Jon’s face when he walked in? He was clearly a man on a mission. I don’t know what happened since I saw him last,” she directs her look at Jack and Donna, “but clearly something has pushed him into go mode. So yes, I sent them on their way and not one of you is going to say a word to either of them got it?” she says taking her phone and bringing up Rose’s text message. She hands her phone to Jack who reads it then hands it to Donna who also reads it.

“Why would they not want us to know they’re together?” Donna asks.

“Look, I get that you guys are trying to help, but there’s a difference between helping and taking complete control. If they come to you for advice then yeah you should talk with them, but clearly they are feeling like they need to gain some control over the situation. You two want this so badly and Jon and Rose are both people pleasers. They just want everyone to be happy yeah? So let them have this okay? Just let them have today to get to know one another without all of us gawking and staring at them like a couple of side show-freaks. Donna, how would you feel if your relationship with Lee were put on display like daytime telly for all your friends to see? This is not some reality show you’re watching. These are not dolls you’re playing house with. They are two very real and extremely damaged people who have never even met and you two are trying to marry them off! When they come back, if they come back, say nothing. You never saw the video and you never read that text got it? I don’t know why you’re both so upset. Isn’t this what you’ve wanted him to do? Find someone, not die alone? You have been hounding him for years and now that he’s finally, finally doing it, you are making him feel as though he can’t. Why? Why would you treat him like a child who needs to be monitored? I was all for setting them up, even thought this party was a great way to do that, but clearly Jon had other ideas. This is his life and Rose’s life. Let them alone until they ask us to help!” Amy says clearly frustrated with them.

She snatches her phone back from Donna, shoves it in her pocket and walks away. With Jack and Donna properly chastised she decides her work here for the day is done and begins gathering her belongings. Rory is smiling so much his cheeks are actually hurting. He doesn’t think he’s ever been prouder of Amy then right this moment watching her put those two in their place. He stands from the table and starts to gather up his belongings as well.

“Where are you going?” Jack asks him.

“My loyalties fall with the hot ginger,” he looks at Donna and realizes there’s more than one ginger. He points at Amy and says, “Err…that hot ginger and where she goes I must follow,” Rory grins back at him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech In Italics Is Remembered Conversation.

“So Rose Tyler...we,” Jon points to her and himself, “are playing hooky for the day. What would you like to do?”

Internally he is freaking out. His planning hadn’t gotten him this far. All of the bluster and gusto he had upon waking has now evaporated, leaving him feeling awkward and not a little worried by half that he is going to fuck this up.

Rose can tell he’s trying for much more confidence than he has, can hear the faint quiver is his voice and can see the slight shaking in his hands. She thinks she should feel bad for him because he’s so nervous right now, but she’s just relieved.

She’s certainly freaking out inside and knowing that he is as well…it’s…encouraging and the way he says her name, she thinks she could sit and listen to him say her name all day. The longer she doesn’t respond the more the smile that he has starts to slip and she doesn’t want that. She thinks he should always be smiling because it’s beautiful. Rose reaches over the table, grabs his hand and entwines their fingers like he did earlier. Once their hands are together again she can see some of the tension ebbing from him, the tightness in his shoulders giving just a little and the smile returning to his face. She doesn’t know what she’s doing here, she doesn’t have a plan for any of this and Rose Tyler is not used to flying blind into any situation.

“Rose?” he asks nervously.

She knows she needs to say something but has no clue what it is. Rose looks out the window, its really raining hard now, thinks of the fact that she doesn’t have her coat and how cold the run was from the shop. She looks up at Jon’s face, not quite making eye contact and sees his question there, also sees that he will take her back to the shop without disagreement or issue if she chooses.

“It’s really coming down outside, so whatever we do is going to have to be indoors Jon,” Rose says softly. It’s back, her voice, oh thank you, thank you, thank you, she thinks to herself.

“We could uh…we could wait out the rain here, have some coffee or uh…tea and just…you know um…talk if you’d like,” he suggests.

Her heart is screaming at her Yes! Yes! Yes! Do That!. Talk with this man, get to know him, find out what that tingly shocking feeling is every time they touch hands and who he is and just…everything about him; but her head is also screaming at her. It’s telling her to flee! He’s only here because of their mutual friends. He’s too good for her, a professor for fucks sake at a very prestigious University and she is just a coffee girl from the estates who never even got her A-levels. She’s not ready; she’ll never be ready. Jimmy ruined her, destroyed her. She is, as he so often liked to tell her, damaged goods. No man would want to be with her if they knew.

Then she does something she has never done before. She tells her brain to Fuck Off! I am doing this! 

“Yeah, okay,” she says smiling at him, “What…uh…what should we talk about?”

While Rose was off in her head debating with herself (he’s fairly sure that’s what was happening) about whether to stay or go, talk or not, fight or flight basically; Jon was trying to determine how to move ahead. He’s snatched her from work (hadn’t anticipated that happening), ran her through the freezing rain (great start Jon) and now finally has her here and willing to talk (maybe). So what are they going to talk about? This is awkward. They are both too nervous. They need to handle that first. He knows that if they can’t get that part under control the rest of it will fall apart before it’s had a chance to begin. He’s just starting to formulate a plan, _"It’s been 15 years Jon, you need to approach this like you would have then because that’s what you know,"_ he hears Donna say in his head, when Rose speaks and brings him back to the present (Right, now or never).

“20 Questions,” he blurts out.

“What?” she responds confused?

“You know the game, 20 Questions? You ask me a question, I answer and vice versa,” he says and she giggles a little. That is just …please do that again he thinks.

“Yeah, I know what the game is. What I don’t know is why you’re bringing it up,” she replies smiling up at him.

Jon sees her smile and hears her giggle at him again. They are still holding hands and he’s feeling almost euphoric. His brain is fuzzy. He keeps losing track of the conversation because of that tingly feeling which is distracting, but combined with her smiling at him, a real fucking smile that brings a lightness to her eyes that shouldn’t even be possible; he cannot get his mouth to form words around what he imagines must be the largest, most ridiculous goofy grin that has ever crossed his face. He’s having trouble taking in air and her smile is turning to a look of concern. She’s squeezing his hand and saying something but the blood is rushing in his ears and he can’t quite hear what she’s saying, he really, really wants to hear. His eyelids are starting to feel heavy and they are drooping as her image becomes a bit blurry and then nothing.

Rose watches as his smile widens and takes up his whole face. She thinks that smile is just the most wonderful, most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. Then just as quickly it starts to fall, his eyes drooping. “Jon? JON? Are you okay?” she asks worried and then…he faints. Rose doesn’t know what to do. She’s never seen anyone do that. She’s done it, several times actually. She is unconscious when it happens though, so she doesn’t really know how the people around her handle it. Rose decides to call their friends for help. For all she knows he could have some kind of medical condition and not just be prone to fainting when scared shitless. As she’s dialing Jack’s number he starts coming around.

Jon’s head is fuzzy, feels like it was stuffed with cotton wool and he doesn’t recognize his surroundings. These are the first things he notices when he starts to come back to himself. His head is lying face down on a table and someone is saying something. Someone? What? Then his memory returns. **FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! SHIT! BUGGER! PISS! ASS! HEAD and HOLE!** He snaps his head up from the table and yep…Rose is there, concerned look gracing her lovely features and she’s asking him if he’s okay? Does he need an ambulance? Should she call Jack? What? NO! Not Jack! “No, no…I’m…I’m fine really…just…” **FUCK!** “I’m sorry Rose. I don’t know what happened there, but I’m fine really, great I promise,” he stammers out quickly.

She should insist that they go back to the shop; that he lets Rory check him out to make sure he’s okay and effectively end this date (?), but she doesn’t. She’s not ready for this to be over and if he did have some kind of condition he would not be saying no to medical attention she reasons to herself.

Rose looks up at him doing her best to make and keep eye contact, smiles and says, “Okay, but you have to promise to breathe because I’ve only ever been the one who’s fainting, not the one who’s dealing with the fainting.”

Jon smiles back at her. He cannot believe his luck. Honestly, if she had passed out on him he would have called someone whether she said to or not. “Yes, breathing is…good, helpful, beneficial even. So yes, I’ll promise to breathe if you promise not to leave,” he stutters out rapidly. It’s out there before he realizes he said it. He didn’t mean to. Fuck, he’s coming off way to needy. Why does he have to be so weird? Why can’t he just have a normal conversation with this gir…err…woman?!

“Great,” she replies, “I’ll not run away like the insanely frightened little girl I really am and you will continue to breathe, it’s a deal,” she holds her hand out to him as if to shake on it, he takes it and entwines their fingers together once more instead.

Jon looks into her burnt sugar colored eyes, “Insanely frightened little girl?” he asks.

Rose has decided that she’s going to do this. She’s going to put her fucked up Rose-ness out there and be done worrying about it. They will never get anywhere or achieve anything with all of the awkwardness flying between them. There is the very real possibility that one or both will pass out from the stress of trying to be normal. She desperately wants to get past this part, past the weird, uncomfortable silences between the not fully formed thoughts and sentences that are happening. She has what she wants to say planned out in her head and she’s trying to stay focused on that. She thinks this will help put him at ease and she knows once it’s out she will feel better, so with her thought out and carefully constructed words on the tip of her tongue, she squeezes his hand softly and begins.

Jon sees Rose close her eyes for a brief moment and she breathes in and out.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I’m not normal. I’m not brave or strong. I’m not smart. I am a little more than broken as you put it earlier. I have a past as we all do and I don’t like to talk about it or remember it. I babble when I’m nervous or scared, as you can see now. I don’t know how to be in a proper relationship and it’s been years since I have even tried. I don’t always know how to say what I want to say and am often scared of saying what I know I need to. I also realize that I am likely coming off as a nutter right now, but…well…I just thought maybe this would go better and there would be less fainting on both sides if the hard stuff was out of the way first ya know?” she says.

Jon does know. He had that same idea when he was lying in bed being pissed off at Jack last night. That is in fact why he went to H&W today, to have exactly this talk with Rose. To say exactly what she just said. She had stolen his words and somehow managed what he could not, to actually say them. It’s his turn to say something. He knows she’s waiting on him and he can’t decide if he wants to rebuff all of the assertions she has about herself or if he should let that go and focus on him. If she’s as messed up as he is denying what she sees in the mirror as opposed to what he sees in her now will not be helpful.

“I’m not normal. I am more than a little cocked up and I am very broken. I am scared and weak. I babble when I’m…well all the time really. I haven’t had a relationship in 15 years…and even then I don’t know if you could consider it real…I was just a kid. I have a past and I hate it. I hate that it’s always there, hate that it’s there right now. I hate that it makes me choke on my words and that I can’t just be a normal fucking bloke ever. Sometimes I forget to breathe and sometimes…most of the time I say the wrong thing. I come off as rude even when I’m not trying to…well…especially when I’m not trying to. And Rose Tyler…you are not a nutter. I have wanted to meet you for a long time and that freaks me out. When I’m around you, even before today, it’s like there is this pull in my gut that I can’t explain and right now…holding your hand it’s…I…there’s this thing, like electricity and I think I must be going mad because that can’t be real, this reaction that I have to you and can’t explain. You say you’re not brave, but you’re here. You say you’re not strong, but you were the one who was able to get the words out to start this conversation. And…well…I think… (He feels his eyes slide closed, can’t look at her when he says it) I think you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and when you smile at me it’s like the sun is shining down for the first time in years and it makes my hands sweaty and my heart race and blood rush to my ears and I think…I always want to feel like that. Every second I have left I want to feel like that,” he says softly.

When Jon opens his eyes he looks into hers trying to gauge her reaction. He sees her smiling, truly smiling. The light is shining in her eyes and right now Rose Tyler is looking at him like he may have just hung the moon and stars in the sky. Every thought other than kiss her, kiss her, kiss her flies right out of his head.

Rose is…she doesn’t have a descriptor for the feeling she has at hearing him say those words to her. She needs to focus her thoughts on something else because all she can think about right now is kissing him. She wants to kiss away the hurt and hesitation and she knows that’s fucking crazy because she just met him. She tries to focus on the conversation in front of her.

Instead of reaching over and pulling his lips to hers she says, “So just to recap. We’re both a little fucked up, both a little more than broken, both insanely scared, neither of knows how to be in a proper relationship, neither of has been in a relationship in a very long time, we both have a past that we will eventually have to talk about, but you like me and I like you and regardless of all the previously stated issues and the fact that our very lovely and well meaning mutual friends would not be happy that we’re even having this conversation…you want to date?” she quickly babbles out.

Jon thinks there is probably many things he should or could say in response to her summation of events, but all that comes out is, “Yes.”

Her reply is just as short, “Okay then.”

“What?” he asks, flabbergasted that it was that simple of an answer, “Just like that? You’re…agreeing to…to date me?” he says, his voice doing that high-pitched whiny teenage girl thing he hates.

Her response echoes his from seconds earlier, “Yes.”

And there it is, just like that Jon is dating Rose; all the freaking out, worrying over what to say and what their friends will think or do evaporating like mist. He’s smiling, she’s smiling and they must look like a couple of idiots sitting in this shop with cold coffee in front of them grinning at each other, but neither of them cares at that moment. This is the moment when they have chosen to move forward, beyond the pain and fear and bullshit of their past. This is the moment when two very broken people decide that maybe being broken with someone is better than being broken alone.

“Okay so…we’re dating now,” he says trying to breathe.

“That appears to be the situation,” she says amused.

Jon thinks she was definitely wrong when she said she wasn’t brave. “What do we do now?” he asks laughing.

“No idea. Whatever we want to I guess. So, what do you want to do Jon?” she asks.

She’s laughing again, the sound making his chest flutter and he thinks what he wants is to always, always hear that sound; and to kiss her. He really, really wants to kiss her, but he doesn’t think he can say that yet. Jon wonders if it would be too weird to ask if he can record her laugh on his phone to set as his alarm. Yes, that would be too weird he decides, maybe save that for another day. He looks outside and sees he rain has stopped. Jon decides they need to do something.

Sitting here in this coffee house for the last, he looks at his watch, bugger, they’ve been gone for 4 hours already. No wonder the staff is glaring at them. He looks back at their hands, still joined and pulls her from the table. He drops her hand, wraps his old beaten black leather coat over her shoulders, helps her into the much too long sleeves and rejoins their hands as he leads them from the shop. Once outside the door he turns to her and says, “Rose Tyler…I want to do whatever you want to do…always.”

There it is again, that way that he says her name and the flash of heat that travels through her entire body upon hearing it. Her name coming from him and that sensation that happens when their skin is touching combined with the look in his eyes, as if she is the only thing in his whole universe and the words that he’s saying…it’s all too much for her. She needs to dial back her emotions because right now she isn’t scared or weak, she doesn’t feel timid or shy. No, what she feels is like reaching up and running her hands through his hair. His really, really great hair making it even messier than it is. Pulling his lips to hers and seeing if they are as soft as she’s been imagining for the last forever since she first saw him. No! Stupid, stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN!!! Grasping at any kind of control over her now rampant emotions, she looks up to him and smiles. The tip of her tongue just barely making an appearance at the corner of her mouth and says, “Chips…I want chips and you can pay since you nicked me without letting me grab my things.”

She sees some of his tension release, watches his eyes dart to the corner of her mouth where her tongue just was, sees him lick his bottom lip in response and his eyes dilate slightly. He shakes his head as if dislodging something from inside, smiles at her and says, “Yep…chips…great…brilliant thing chips. Did you know…” he starts extolling little known factoids about potatoes and how chips came to be as he pulls her along the sidewalk to find a chippy.

Jon is not a stupid man. He is in fact a proper genius; as he likes to tell people all of the time. He is very observant; it comes with being very intelligent. Over the years he has of course noticed when women had flirted with him, even if they thought they were being covert about it. He always noticed and he always pretended not to. It was just easier that way. However; right now, looking at Rose smile at him with just the tip of her tongue poking through her teeth at the corner of her mouth, her eyes shining and a soft giggle to her voice, he can’t help but follow the movement of her tongue with his eyes. He feels himself lick his own lips in response and he thinks; No, he knows that if he doesn’t start talking or moving **rightthefucknow** he WILL push her into the wall behind her and start kissing her. His mind is playing it on a loop and he is being assaulted with images of his mouth moving over hers and her hands coming into his hair and No! Stop! Stop! Stop!!!! “Yep…chips…great…brilliant thing chips. Did you know…” just like that the moment passes.

They find a chippy, place their orders and sit with their baskets of chips in front of them. She douses hers in vinegar and he lightly salts his. Rose didn’t realize how hungry she was. She didn’t eat before heading out and she has no idea how long they’ve been gone, but her stomach is making awful and embarrassing noises as it devours the food. She can feel the flush of embarrassment in her cheeks and lets out a quiet, “Sorry, I didn’t realize how hungry I was,” accompanied with a light smile.

“What? No you’re right. I was starving, haven’t eaten since,” he thinks about it then says, “Well it’s been a while apparently, because I can’t really remember the last thing I ate,” he laughs. “These are great though,” Jon says, snatching a vinegar soaked chip from her basket.

“So uh…20 questions then?” she asks.

“Yeah...you go first? You ask, I’ll answer, then you answer the same question then I’ll go,” he says.

“Okay…um…favorite color?” she asks.

“Blue,” he responds, “but not just any blue it’s a very specific blue; 16, 35,114 on the RGB scale or #003b6f for the hex.” She’s amused by his answer; he can see it in her smile and the way her eyes light up as she looks at him.

“Pink…um…just you know pink,” she laughs at herself.

“Favorite food?” he asks.

“Chips,” she smirks.

“Chips for me as well,” he says back.

“Favorite season?” she queries.

“Fall,” he responds.

“Same,” she says back.

They go on like this for hours, questions and answers back and forth between them, smiles and laughter at the others responses. They both stay away from asking the heavy questions, neither thinks it’s the time or necessary. They covered most of the important issues right away and this is…nice…simple…fun. It’s getting late and he doesn’t want her to go home. He doesn’t want to go home either, but they can’t just stay in the chippy and the weather is still terrible outside.

“What time is it?” she asks.

He looks at his watch, “6:30.”

“Right…I should be getting home yeah? I mean I’m sure you had other things to do today and…”

“No,” he says a little too loudly, with just a touch too much enthusiasm and cutting off her words, “I…I mean…uh…unless you’re ready to go home. I will of course take you home if you’re ready to go,” he starts to stand.

“It’s just, it’s getting to be evening and we can’t sit in the chippy all night Jon. They will eventually want to go home too I think,” she says trying to laugh, but she doesn’t want to go back to her one room flat and her mattress on the floor and the ever-present loneliness that resides there.

He sees her hesitate to get up with him, thinks he recognizes the same issues he’s having in her. She had been the brave one all day today, stepping out of her comfort zone and helping him through this and he decides he can do that for her now. “Rose? You could…or I could…either really I suppose it doesn’t matter which, but if...if you wanted we could go back to one of our flats,” he stutters out.

Jon looks to see her reaction, hopes he didn’t cock this up, thinks he very likely has because she has a very shocked look on her face. He sees it and realizes how that probably sounded to her. “Just to watch a movie or something,” he stammers out, “Maybe order takeout and veg in front of the telly for a bit. We, Jack and I, we have a really great telly, it’s like a miniature movie theater screen…well all telly’s are like that I suppose but Jack, he…uh…he got a really large telly for the living room and…it’s uh…good…to you know… watch things…on,” he says, feeling very lame.

He can’t look at her now. She’s going to go home and never want to see him again because he is a Bloody Moron! Too much, too fast and he read her wrong, she doesn’t want to spend more time with him like he does her and why would she? He’s rambling and not making any sense and she probably thinks he really is a nutter now and oh fuck his breathing is labored again and his vision is just a bit blurry and he going to fucking pass out or puke as he stands there…not able to fucking look at her!

Rose is at first elated that he seems to not want the day to end as much as her, but then she thinks of what going to his flat implies (they are most assuredly not going to her flat) and she starts to panic. She’s not ready for that, not ready for what being in a man’s flat leads to and she is about to politely decline his offer and say that no she needs to get home when he starts babbling again. Something about Jack, telly, take out and she’s looking at him very much not looking at her. She knows what he means then, understands that he’s not asking her back to his flat for…that. He’s scared, nervous and if she doesn’t say something soon he may be sick she thinks.

“Okay,” she says quietly.

He doesn’t think he’s heard her right and searches her eyes for confirmation. She smiles at him and that flutter in his chest is back. He can breathe again and maybe he won’t get sick all over their shoes after all. “Yeah?” he asks softly.

“Yeah,” she giggles.

“Really? Well yeah okay. You call a cab, I’m just going to use the loo real fast,” he says stunned that she agreed to come home with him.

“Okay, but uh…where are we exactly so I can tell the cab?” she asks.

Rose is laughing, he can tell it’s from nerves, that she’s scared and doesn’t know what to expect, but she’s going along with it and he’s so grateful for that. “Right…uh,” he looks around, finds a menu, hands it to her and points to the address, “I’ll…uh…I’ll be just a tick, you call the cab,” he shuffles off to the loo as she reaches for her phone.

The moment the door closes Jon is on his phone dialing Jack. It only rings once before he hears Jack’s voice saying, “Bout’ time you fucking prick! Do you know that because of your little stunt this morning I have been yelled at by Amy, missed several very important meetings and have been trapped in the store all damn day Jon?!”

“Right, so you’re not at the flat then?” Jon asks sarcastically.

“No Jon, I am not at the flat where I should be. I am currently closing down the store because you came in and stole Rose from her shift. Clara came in early to cover for her. Amy yelled at me, stomped out in a huff and Rory went with her. Where have you been all day and where the hell is Rose? What the fuck is going on?” Jack demands.

He doesn’t have time for all these questions and a large part of him feels like after last night Jack doesn’t really deserve answers. “Rose is fine…lovely really…wonderful. We spent the whole day together chatting and now we’re going to head back to the flat for takeout and telly and that is all the information you are entitled to at this point. I would consider it a personal favor if you didn’t come back to the flat for a bit and I know where you’re mind is going so just stop it’s not like that,” Jon states in what he hopes is a very authoritative voice.

“Fine Jon,” Jack grumbles, “but I want some answers. This was not the plan do you hear me? Jon? Jon? Mother Fucker! He hung up on me!”

Rose calls for a cab and then takes a seat to wait by the door. Jon’s still in the loo and she’s starting to panic a little…okay a lot. She’s calls Amy and heads to the back of the chippy in case Jon comes out. It rings twice before Amy picks up and says, “Hey Rose, how was your day?”

“Ugh, Amy, help!” she whines.

“Help with what? What’s the matter Rose?” Amy asks.

Rose can hear the worry setting into Amy’s voice and tries to rush out the words. She explains about the day, the talking, going back to Jon’s flat and, “I’m freaking out Amy, properly freaking out and I don’t know why I said yes and what if he thinks I want to…well...” she says allowing the words to trail off.

Amy starts hysterically cackling on the other end of the phone, trying hard to get words out between the large guffaws escaping her lungs as she says, “Rose honey no. Just No. Trust me when I say that Jon is not thinking that is going to happen. I promise. Look, he just wants more time with you and you said yes so you obviously want more time with him, that my dear is normal when two people like each other. Listen sweetie, just go have a good time, watch telly, eat takeout and just be yourself. You Rose Tyler are smart and funny and sexy and beautiful and if you just be you, Jon will fall as madly in love with you as the rest of us have okay.”

Jon disconnects the phone before Jack can finish. It’s rude, he knows, he doesn’t care. He’s tired of being treated like a small child who needs to be monitored. Neither he nor Rose are as incapable as their friends seem to think they are and today proved that. They have been together all day and it went fine, better than fine actually. In fact it couldn’t have gone better if he had planned it, which he didn’t. Which means they are capable and they do not need anyone’s permission for anything…ever!

He’s starting to feel the indignation and fury that was crashing through him last night and he needs to temper that, doesn’t want Jack and the memories of their fight last night to wreck all the progress he’s made today. Rose has agreed to accompany him for telly and takeout and that is what he is going to focus on he tells himself. He heads back out the door in search of Rose and the hopefully waiting cab.

His eyes search the chippy and find her in the back on her phone. A small part of him starts to panic that she’s changed her mind and is calling for backup or a rescue, but he shoves those thoughts away. He did go and hide in the loo to call Jack and maybe she’s just checking in as well or maybe she had other plans that she needs to cancel now that she is coming home with him. Coming home with him…Rose Tyler is coming back to his flat…with him. Not to see her friend Jack or for any other reason than because he, Jon Ardis asked her too and she said yes. It settles in him then, he is dating her. He has a girlfriend…a proper one (Maybe he’ll have to ask her if dating is the same thing as a girlfriend…he’s rather fuzzy on the specifics)…one he asked on a date and she said yes. Now she’s coming back to his flat for telly and takeout and proper relationship…stuff.

He should be freaking out, should be babbling, stammering, making excuses why he needs to back out of this but he’s not. He realizes he doesn’t want too, doesn’t want to back out or try to worm his way out of it and for the first time in way too many years he’s excited, giddy even at the prospect of a gir…err…woman (Bugger, he needs to get that through his head) being interested in him.

Jon sees her put her phone back into her pocket and turn. Her eyes scan the chippy as his had done only moments ago. She finds him and he sees a smile begin just at the corners of her mouth and can feel his own turning up in response. Rose starts walking back in his direction and he holds out his hand to her. This time there is no hesitation before she entwines her fingers into his and the small smiles that had been starting have turned into huge grins. He looks out, sees the cab and looks back to Rose, “Ready?” he asks her.

“Yep,” she replies popping the p just as he would do. His smile grows wider and he pulls her out the door and into the waiting cab.

“Where to?” the cabbie asks.

Jon looks over at Rose, “Did you…do you need to go by yours for anything before we head to mine?”

“No, I’m good,” she replies and she thinks that’s true. For the first time in far too long she actually thinks it’s true and the cab pulls away as Jon gives his address.

The atmosphere in the cab is…well…not strained exactly, but Jon is having a difficult time coming up with a better word. It’s been very quiet since the cab pulled away but their hands are still entwined. He notices that the closer they get to his flat the more often he feels the pressure of Rose unconsciously squeezing his hand. He knows she’s nervous. He is as well, but as he watches her face taking in the sights they pass he thinks he understands why she’s nervous.

The further from the chippy they drive the more upscale the area has become and he can feel the tension coiling in her. It’s not that he flaunts his money, because he doesn’t. He doesn’t care about the posh flat, car and clothes. He thought at one time, shortly after he finished school that these things would make him and Jack feel better. He was young still and looking for anything to fill the aching hole that he’d been left with after everything.

Money had never been an issue for Jon. His father had been a very successful inventor for the military and his mother had been a successful children’s writer and…he’s royalty. He’s pretty much walked away from that though and only Donna knows who he really is. When his family died he was left in control of everything and he ran. Jon ran from the enormous responsibility that was thrust upon him at too early, ran from the grief and the pain of losing his parents at such a young age and he ran from Harry and the memories of what had happened between them.

He sold the home he grew up in and set off traveling to find himself. After everything happened and he and Jack returned to London and then Cardiff, he was thankful then that he had the money. It allowed him to complete school without having to work, allowed him to care for Jack without Jack having to work, though Jack did try a few times to hold down a job. Being young and unable to handle the emotions that came with the events that had occurred, they tried to fill the aching chasm in their souls with…well…stuff. Cause that’s what you do when you’re young isn’t it? Try and make life better with stuff. If only we had a nicer flat, if only we had a nicer car, if only we had…So Jon had bought and bought and bought trying to fix him and Jack both.

When Jack wanted to move to a nicer flat, Jon bought the whole building. _“Pick a flat Jack. I don’t care where we live as long as I have my own room. That’s my one requirement, my own room Jack,”_ Jon had said. After purchasing the building he hired an architect to redesign certain aspects. It was an old building, maybe 250 – 300 years old, but it was beautiful and right on the waterfront. The previous owner had been glad to be rid of it, too much upkeep in a building so old. The previous owner however did not have Jon’s resources.

So he told the architect his basic ideas for what he wanted and set him loose. A year later the exterior of the building had been restored to its original condition, while the interior was updated. Jon had made sure that the original architecture of the building was maintained. He didn’t want to lose the old world feel it had, but he did want all modern appliances and such; updated water heaters, boilers, electrical. Essentially he wanted the three-story building restored to original condition as for the way it looked, not the way it performed. The bottom floor has a basement and some other smaller storage rooms. The second floor is comprised of 4 flats that are rented out by an agency that Jon had hired to manage them. The top floor had been converted from the 4 separate flats into the large penthouse suite that Jon and Jack now shared.

It is…well…not home exactly Jon thinks, but the closest he’s had since his parents died. It’s more a place he goes when he’s not at work; even with Jack there it still feels empty…lonely. Jon thinks it’s less likely the flat and more him that feels that way but he tries to push that away. They are pulling up to the curb now and maybe it will feel less empty and lonely with Rose in it. Jon hopes it will, thinks maybe she could be his home regardless of where that is.

Her eyes grow wide at the sight of the building they pull up to and she realizes she is way out of her comfort zone. She’s never even seen this part of Cardiff. This building is just…wow…that’s it…just wow. She’s second-guessing her decision to come here. Rose had assumed that Jon’s flat would be nicer than hers. Most cardboard boxes are nicer than her flat really, but she had not anticipated this. Jon pays the cabbie and they climb out onto the sidewalk. He’s still holding her hand, hasn’t let go since she took it at the chippy. She looks around at their surroundings and then up to Jon.

“You…you uh…live here? In this building?” she asks hesitantly while waving her hand at the building in front of them.

He doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable but he also doesn’t want to mislead her. His money is part of who he is. Jon’s not ashamed of it, but likewise he doesn’t make a point of talking about it or showing it off. “Yes, actually I…uh…I own the building. Come on let’s head up and I’ll give you the quick tour, longer tour later if you’re really that keen on it.” he says.

“I…maybe…Jon, maybe this wasn’t a great idea. I don’t…uh…I don’t belong here, this isn’t me,” Rose stutters out.

He starts to panic. He needs to say something and he has no clue what to say and all that comes out when he opens his mouth is, “No…please don’t,” he grabs her other hand in attempt to stave off her running away. “Look, this is just…it’s just a place. This is not who I am. It’s all just stuff and not even stuff that I care much for. The building was an investment from when I was first out of school and…please just…just come up okay?” he asks pleadingly.

He’s searching for fight or flight responses and is worried that he sees neither. Instead, when he looks over at her what he sees is her shoulders rounded, head down and had her hair not been pulled back it would be hiding her face from him, but it’s not. Her eyes are firmly locked on her pink chucks, off brand he notices now and one of said chucks is digging its toe into the concrete in a small circular motion. No, he doesn’t see fight or flight in this girl before him. Dejection, worry, fear, embarrassment and not just a touch of apprehension are all clearly visible in her though. He sees her take a deep breath in, deep breath out and she closes her eyes. Jon can see her counting in her head to 10 and she looks up to him and says, “Yeah…okay. It is really cold out here.” Jon opens the front door to the building and gestures for her to precede him inside.

Rose is terrified. She doesn’t fit here, doesn’t belong and she thinks that’s glaringly obvious. Anyone who looks at her in this environment will immediately know, will be able to see the incongruity of the image of her (Rose Tyler: South London estate trash, bottle bleached blonde hair, too much make-up, cheap clothes and no education) standing in this place (Old, beautiful, full of history and a work of art). She had of course known his flat would be nice, but she thought nice like Amy and Rory’s place, not nice like…well…she doesn’t really know, has never met anyone else who lives like this so she has no comparison, but whatever she was expecting, it wasn’t this.

When she found out Jon and Jack were flat-mates she just assumed it was to save money. Why else would two mid-thirties men share a flat…oh…wait…they’re not…no…she doesn’t think so. Jon had said it had been a long time since he was in any kind of relationship like that, but then why would he need a flat-mate? Well…maybe it’s not that he NEEDS a flat-mate so much as wants one. Maybe she should get a flat-mate then she could get a nicer place and she wouldn’t be alone all the time. That makes more sense. She can see not wanting to come home to an empty place every night like she does, especially a place as large as this. She supposes if he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with someone his best mate would be a good choice to help stave off the loneliness; in that context it makes more sense. While she was off in her own head, Jon had surreptitiously guided her towards and into the lift. The ding signaling their arrival to Jon’s floor brings her out of her inner musings on flat-mates and loneliness and she tries to brace her herself for what’s on the other side of the lift door.

As the door slides open she feels the gentle pressure of Jon’s hand on her lower back guiding her forward and out of the lift. They step into the hallway and Jon is digging in his pocket with one hand, she assumes looking for his keys and his other hand is still placed on her lower back, she assumes to keep her from bolting. He finds his key, opens the door and guides her in. Jon flicks on the hallway light, tosses his keys and wallet into the dish on the table next to the door, grabs his leather Jacket off her shoulders, tosses it on the coat rack and takes her hand in his again. She smiles a small hesitant smile in his direction as she notices his evening routine mimics hers. He guides her through the hallway and into the very large and very open floor plan of his flat.

The first thing she notices is the bank of windows along the exterior wall. They are less like windows and more like a glass wall she thinks. Windows have sills and dividers; this is one really long uninterrupted piece of glass. She thinks the view must be amazing at night. You can likely see the whole of the city lit up like fairy lights from this high up. She sees dark hardwood floors, recently polished, with the same dark wood coming up the walls to form beautiful wainscoting that surrounds the entirety of the walls with a very light blue, almost white paint above the wainscoting. The kitchen cabinets are all in the same dark hardwood, marble counter tops and all stainless steel appliances, the best money can but she thinks. There is an island in the center of the kitchen with a few stools on one side and set further back is a larger, again dark wood dining table. The living room has a long couch with a chaise lounge at the end and the tables are all chrome and glass, a black piano sits off in a back corner facing the long glass wall. There are a few bookcases in the same dark wood that are just packed to overfilling with books.

She looks around and sees the monstrosity of a telly that Jon had told her about and finally her eyes make their way back to Jon. As she looks at him she thinks that he looks just as out of place here as she does. The only thing she has seen so far that speaks of him in this flat is the bookcases and dark woods. Everything else here just screams Jack. From the telly to the furniture and even the artwork, there is nothing that…no wait…she takes a step over to the fireplace as she notices the picture five frames on the mantle.

The center picture is an 8x10 photo of what she assumes is a very young Jon and his parents. She can tell they are his parents, the resemblance of Jon now and his father in the picture is uncanny and his mother is beautiful. “My parents,” he says flatly, “That was taken on my 9th birthday. It was a good day,” he smiles softly. He then points to the next picture in a 5x7 frame, “Me and Donna, our 14th birthday I believe. We took a bunch of our school friends to Blackpool for the weekend.” He points to the next 5x7 frame, “Me and Donna again, some formal dance our parents made us dress up for and attend. I think it was a charity thing, don’t really remember now.” On the other side of the 8x10 of his parents there are two more 5x7 frames. “Jack and I the day I graduated from Uni and that one is the day H&W opened,” he says quietly.

It has not escaped his attention that she has said nothing since entering the flat. He is giving her time to look and adjust to being someplace new, but her lack of communication verbal or otherwise is starting to worry him. “Did you want something to drink or uh…eat?” he asks trying to get her to say something, anything.

“We just had chips a bit ago (she has no idea when it was), so not really hungry, but I could go for something to drink,” Rose tries to smile up at him.

“Okay…well let’s see what we have on offer yeah?” he says tugging her toward the kitchen, “We have tea of course as all good British boys and girls do. We have…um…coffee and beer, there may be some juice,” he trails off waiting for her to make a decision.

“Um…a beer sounds…nice,” she says hesitantly.

To him it sounds like she’s asking more than saying she wants one, he doesn’t want that. He wants her to be okay here. Jon is hoping that she’ll be here frequently and wants her to feel comfortable. That reminds him that he really needs to clarify what this dating thing is that she agreed to earlier. He’s not sure if she agreed to dating like Jack dates people...very, very casual…or and he’s hoping for this answer, if they are DATING; as in just them, not seeing anyone else…like Amy and Rory only without the added err…people? Okay so maybe Amy and Rory aren’t a good example of the kind of relationship he wants, but that is his exhaustive list of examples… a man-whore and a couple that swings. No wonder he has no idea what the fuck he’s doing and he snorts a small chuckle at the realization.

She hears him laugh as he makes his way to the fridge, “Something funny?” she asks nervously.

“Yeah a bit actually. I just realized the totality of my relationship advice is coming from a man-whore and a couple of swingers…and well there’s Donna…she’s at least a little more level headed and well…maybe more traditional in her views. But still…is it any wonder I have no idea what I’m doing?” Jon says rather bemused.

She’s quiet for a minute, thinking over what he said, “Oh, I don’t know. I think you’ve done brilliantly today,” she says softly, looking at him through her lashes.

He wishes she wouldn’t do that. It makes him feel all…well...he doesn’t really know, but he definitely wants to kiss her when she looks at him like that. Jon doesn’t think that would be appreciated right this second, but…they are dating…dating people kiss and…well just kissing…would be best to stick with just that he thinks…at first…maybe. He realizes he’s been standing there staring at her for an unseemly amount of time now and redirects his attention to grabbing a few beers from the fridge.

“Glass or bottle?” he asks.

“Bottles fine for me,” she replies, walking over and snagging one from him. She twists the top off and places it back in his hand.

Right, she doesn’t know where the trash is yet because he has shown her nothing but some fucking photos…GRRRR…why is he such a bloody idiot when it comes to basic things like manners? “Okay…um…tour?” he asks sheepishly, holding his hand out to her. She takes it and that tingly feeling shoots through him again and he feels the tension ebbing away at the contact, both from her and him…that’s…well…that’s just bloody brilliant he thinks.

She’s like Ativan or Prozac, only without the nasty side effects and much prettier and probably tastes…NO! STOP!! Brain Stop Now!!! “Right…tour…here we go. Uh…kitchen, living room, dining room,” he says as he stretches out his arm to show the large open space. He pulls her along behind him to a hallway. “There’s a loo just there behind that door. And there,” he points to another door," is Jack’s room, probably not safe to go in there. Beyond the fact that he’s…well JACK, he’s also kind of a slob,” he tilts his head to the side and squints a little, then tilts his head from side to side, “Well…I say kind of a slob, but it’s more that he’s a definite slob…well I say definite slob but really, if you go in there on your own head be it, because for all I know he may have lost actual people in there in addition to whatever foodstuff may have taken on life and reanimated itself.” He shows his disgust by forcing a shiver down his body. She giggles at his description and his smile beams at her.

He really wants to record that sound, Rose’s real laugh. He wants it as his alarm on his phone, thinks waking up to that sound every morning would definitely start the day off right and when she smiles at him, a real and proper smile, it’s like he has lost control of his own muscles because they cannot help but respond in kind. When her mouth turns up so does his and he’s now recognizing that this phenomenon is working in both directions. He moves to the next door and opens it. "Office/library/guest room, the sofa folds out and there is a ½ loo just on the other side of that door,” he states shrugging his shoulders.

One door left. He’s not sure whether it’s appropriate first date etiquette to show his bedroom or not. It’s not that he’s trying or pushing for anything to happen, because he’s really, really not, but he said a tour and this is part of that. He doesn’t want to freak her out or make her thinks he’s trying for something that again he’s really, really not. She takes the decision out of his hands when she steps forward and places her hand on the doorknob. She turns it but stops then. Rose looks up at him in askance, seeking permission to enter his private space and he relents, gives his approval by nodding his head in affirmation of her unasked question; she opens the door.

The rest of the flat is much more to Jack’s tastes than Jon’s. After the construction was finished he set up Jack with an interior designer and gave him final say on everything but his room, his one demand was that the dark hardwood floors and walls stayed. Everything else in the flat is Jack, except here, in this space. This is where Jon retreats from the world. This is where he is just Jon. Fucked up and broken, sad and lonely, quirky and weird, this is where all of his different pieces come together to form the whole of what he has become.

He thinks he should feel protective of this space and normally he does. No one ever comes in here, except Jack. Jon has never invited anyone in here. Even the gir…err…women that he tried dating years ago. Well, even then he only brought Astrid back to the flat that one time and he’d used Jack’s room then. So he thinks that having Rose in here should be causing him some sort of anxiety but it’s not. Jon stands there watching her take in all the disparate parts of him that are scattered around and he feels is a sense of rightness, like she was created to fit into his life. He thinks of what it feels like holding her hand, seeing her smile, hearing her laugh and he thinks about how all day all he felt was This Is Right. So, he stands there and watches as she puts together the pieces of himself that he usually hides away from everyone else.

When Rose steps into his room she sees the same hardwood flooring and wainscoting that was in the previous rooms. The paint on the walls is a darker blue and she remembers the string of numbers he spit out earlier in the shop, “16, 35,114 on the RGB scale or #003b6f for the hex?” she asks while indicating the paint by waving her hand at it.

At first he looks shocked at her question, then he remembers telling her and he smiles. It’s huge, taking up his whole face and she wants him to always, always look at her like that. She can feel her smile growing to match his and she thinks this is crazy. She just met him today (Has it really just been a day), but she feels like she’s always known him. Or maybe it’s more that she feels like she was always waiting for him.

“Yep,” he says popping the p.

Rose continues to look around, sees the glass wall continued in here. She walks over to it and looks out. This is what he sees every night she thinks. It’s beautiful; a way of looking at Cardiff that she’s never seen and it’s enchanting to her. She stares out the window for a while before her eyes start searching the room again. Rose sees a large dark wood desk in the center of the room placed in front of an old fireplace. It has bits and bobs of things she couldn’t even begin to guess spread across it. Above the mantle the on the fireplace a large screen telly has been affixed to the wall and there are more pieces of random stuff on the mantle. Her eyes continue roaming and land on the king size bed against the back wall of the room. It’s a four-poster canopy bed in the same dark wood as everything else and her vision quickly darts away.

She walks back over to him and holds out her hand for him this time. He takes it without thought or hesitation. “You have a lovely home Jon. I mean it’s all very…well…posh I guess but it’s just gorgeous and the view you have that must be lovely to fall asleep and wake up to everyday. I think this is my favorite room though,” she tells him shyly, “I don’t know…it’s just very…you ya know?” she laughs out loud at that, “Of course you know it’s your room. God, I can be so…stupid sometimes. I’m sorry. Is it weird that I’m in here? I didn’t even think about that. Ugh…what is wrong with me? Why can’t I ever just be fucking normal? Like right now, seriously why will my mouth not stop? These are not things normal people say out loud! Jon…I’m so sorry…I,”

“No, it’s...” (It’s what? What is he trying to say to her?) “it’s normal…to me. I say things all the time that other people would never, so it’s normal to me…your reaction. And no I…it doesn’t feel weird you being in here. I mean it’s weird that it’s not weird and I know that makes the kind of sense that is none, but mostly it just feels…right. This whole day actually has felt right, like it was always supposed to be this and I,” he stops because he knows he’s babbling now, saying things that he shouldn’t. It’s too soon, he’s going to scare her off with how much he needs this to happen, how badly he wants this with her; but his mouth is running of its own volition and his brain isn’t taking his commands for it to cease and desist immediately.

“I want this Rose, with you and I don’t know why and it makes no sense because we just met. Seriously that just bloody happened today and I know it’s crazy and I can’t explain it. When I hold your hand there’s…this…weird tingly thing, what is that? That’s never happened before. Then you smile at me and I don’t know what to do with that. My breath catches and I think I need to record that sound when you laugh because I want to hear it all of the time and I want you here, in here with me all of the time, and that…that’s just…I don’t know. Part of me wants to freak out because I’m not freaking out and I should be and yes the view is wonderful, but I can’t help thinking that seeing you when I fall asleep and wake up would put this view to shame and what kind of dating are we trying to do exactly? Because I was rather unclear on that and I just need to clarify because I can’t…I don’t think I can do the kind of dating that Jack does or even the kind Amy and Rory do. I just don’t think I can be that with you? So uh, clarification on that would be good and if you don’t say something to stop me I’m just going to keep babbling because I’m not even sure of everything I said and,”

“I don’t want that with you either,” she interrupts him softly, “I can’t do what Jack does and Amy and Rory…well they love each other yeah, but that’s not…I’m not…that’s not who I am Jon. I’ve only…” she stops, doesn’t know if she should continue, but he’s being so open and the look on his face right now makes her feel like she is the only thing in his universe again. She feels the same way, like this is just right and she was always going to meet him, that maybe she was made and molded and even broken just so they could have this, so she pushes forward.

“Jon…I’ve only had one relationship…ever…and it turned out rather poorly, but I want this too…with you and that thing when we touch, the electricity? I don’t know what that is either and it’s a little weird, but then again I’m a little weird and quite honestly this whole situation is a little weird and I can choose to run away because I’m not freaking out or I can choose to move forward…with you…weirdness and all and I’m so fucking tired of being alone and lonely and watching everyone else have a life. That’s all I want just a normal life. I don’t understand how they make it look so easy ya know? Marriage, mortgages, kids, pets…a proper life…and so yes…I want to date you…only you…if uh…if after all that…you still want to that is?” she says, quickly stammering her way through it.

Jon doesn’t know what to say to that. He is literally stunned into silence. He sees her fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, bouncing on the balls of her feet in one place, eyes cast downward not looking at him and her face is flushed the most adorable shade of pink and he just looks at her. She seems so vulnerable right now…so young and scared. He wants to make that stop, make that unsure look on her face disappear and never allow it to come back.

Jon remembers her saying that she was not strong or brave or smart and he wants to disagree with her on all of that, but he thinks there will be time for that later because they are dating. Just her and just him and that is…well that is…just… everything. He knows he should say something but his throat is closed off with all of the emotions he’s desperately trying to keep in check, still worried that showing her the full force of what his feelings have developed into in such a short amount of time will send her running, so he doesn’t tell her.

He does however take a tentative step in her direction. He’s still holding her hand. Throughout the discussion neither let go, so it only takes 2 steps for him to close the distance on her. She hasn’t pulled away, hasn’t stepped back to increase the distance and he releases her hand. Jon wraps both arms around her and pulls her into himself.

Rose allows him to fold himself around her. She places her arms around his waist and her head on his chest and this is just…he has no words to describe what this is, his body in full contact with hers. He can feel every one of her soft curves play along the harder firmer planes of his body…and it’s just…perfect. They fit together like puzzle pieces; just like their hands…everything just…fits. He’s smiles, picks her up spinning her around and laughing as he says, “Rose Tyler…You’re my girlfriend.”

She laughs at him. Not the nervous or shy laughter from earlier but what he thinks is the first real genuine laughter he’s heard from her. It’s a laugh that comes from being happy and he is brimming with joy that he caused that sound, makes a promise to himself in that moment that he will do everything in his power for the rest of his existence to hear that sound fall from her lips as often as possible if she’ll let him.

“Yeah…I am and that makes you my…boyfriend,” she says laughing again, causing his own laughter to bubble forth and he cannot ever remember a time in his life when he felt this happy.

“Right, so what happens now?” he asks her still giddy with excitement.

“I have no idea, but you know what?” she asks teasingly.

“What?” he asks.

“Whatever happens now…I bet it’s gonna be fantastic,” she exclaims, holding him just a little tighter than before.

Jon sets her down and releases her. He’s running his hand through his hair and she can tell he’s nervous now; she doesn’t want that. He was so happy just a minute ago. “What? What’s wrong?” she asks him, her voice back to being small and vulnerable.

“No, nothing…it’s just…well it’s getting late and I don’t know what your schedule is like for tomorrow and…well…do…do you want me to take you home?” he asks quietly, his eyes downcast.

Rose lets out an audible sigh of relief. She thought he had changed his mind. “Do you…do you want me to go? I mean I can call a cab. I don’t uh…I’m not scheduled at the shop tomorrow so really I have nothing until the party tomorrow night, but if you have classes in the morning or meetings…it’s late… I should probably go yeah?” she says, not looking at Jon.

“Or,” he says but stops. He doesn’t know if he should say it, is afraid she’ll take it wrong, but no…she’s handled his gob well so far and with everything they said tonight he thinks she’ll understand. “Or…uh…no…I have no classes or meetings tomorrow. If you want you could…uh…stay here tonight…to sleep, just to sleep,” he rushes out to clarifying his offer.


	9. Chapter 9

Jon can see the thoughts turning in her head at his suggestion. He can see her debating whether or not it’s a good idea and he can see the resolve in her features when she comes to a decision. He watches her bring her head up and square off her shoulders, she tries looking him right in the eye and smiles. It’s a huge beautiful smile that makes his lips turn up in response and says, “Yeah alright…um…do you have something I can use to sleep in. I’ve been in these all day and they have been wet and dried several times over, kinda stiff ya know and maybe uh…could I use your loo?”

“Really?” he asks, his voice going into the high register again, “You’re uh…you want to stay here for the night…the whole night here…with me?”

“Well yeah, you did offer after all,” she says laughing at him.

She can laugh at him all she likes if he can get to hear it he thinks before he says, “Yes…I did offer. So…uh...yes, clothes, right.” He walks to his dresser, pulls out one of his undershirts and a pair of his pants. Jon hands them to her and points in the direction of his en suite. “Loo’s there, behind that door and there are clean towels in the cabinet. I have an unopened toothbrush in the medicine cabinet and all the…stuff is in there too,” he says rather meekly.

“So…I’m just going to use the loo, might be a few minutes. Do you want to pick out a movie or put something on the telly to watch while I’m getting ready?” she asks him, voice trembling with nerves.

“Yeah, yeah sure. Just, uh…did you want to watch telly in here or out in the living room? Do you want some tea; I could murder some tea right now,” he says.

“Oh, um…whichever you’d prefer is fine” she stammer out, “and tea, tea would be lovely,” she says quickly as she closed the door behind her.

It’s clear she’s just as nervous as he is, but she’s trying so hard not to be. That makes him all the more pleased that she’s here in this place with him. Not just the physical place as in his room, but this whole space that they have found each other in. He thinks it’s remarkable that at this time yesterday he was fairly certain he was going to die alone, that no one would ever understand him. Now, a short 24 hours later he has a girlfriend; one who is presently getting undressed and climbing into his shower. That means she will also be climbing out of his shower…naked and wet…then she will be in his clothes. Clothes that have been on his naked body are now going to be on her naked body and then she is going to be getting into his bed…with him.

Jon’s discovered a flaw in his plan of asking her to stay. He hears the water turn on, hears the sounds of the water change as she stands underneath it. She’s naked now…in his shower…naked. Rose Tyler…wet, naked, hot soapy water and he’s lost to the image. He remembers what it felt like when he was fully pressed against her. He takes that sensation and applies it to the fantasy playing out in his head. Her standing in his shower, water running down her soft pink skin, a lot of soft pink skin. Him standing behind her, pressed against her and the heat of her naked body seeping into his also very naked body. His mouth on that spot just below her neck on her shoulder where her pulse point is. His arms wrapped around her abdomen, his hand slowly…NOPE! STOP! STOP! STOP! Stupid fucking overactive imagination! What the hell is wrong with him? Why is he having so much trouble reining in his need for her?

Tea, he needs to make tea and pick a film and he heads out to the kitchen, shaking himself to try and regain some composure.

Rose steps into the en suite shutting the door behind her and gasps. She is awestruck by his bathroom, thinks it may be bigger than the whole of her flat. Setting the clothes on the counter she realizes they will not cover her scars, not all of them. That almost makes her change her mind; it’s almost enough to send her running home…almost. She’s made a lot of decisions today that she could not have imagined even entertaining yesterday. Rose turns the water on, strips down and steps in. She thinks, no she is certain this is the best shower she has ever been in. She may love this shower; she may make a lifetime commitment to this shower. The water is the perfect temperature as it sprays her from all directions and it is glorious.

Standing under the water shampooing her hair she goes over the days events. It has been a big day in the life of Rose Tyler. Well big is underselling it she thinks to herself with a smile. She knows there is still so much they need to discuss and some…most of it is going to be scary and awful, but she has decided she wants this with Jon. Rose wants to try and finally be happy. She wants to get past all this awkwardness and she thinks the only way to do that is to just do it. She’s going to tell him that it’s going to be weird and awkward and sometimes hard, but they just need to acknowledge it for whatever the moment is and then move forward from it. Yep, that’s what she’s going to say, because she’s done waiting to be happy and normal.

Okay, she may never be normal…but with Jon she thinks she has a decent shot at normal-esque. It’s going to take time to get used to each other, but she’s going to push past the bad and run straight into the good…yep…that’s her plan. She finishes washing, dries herself off and starts to dress. He’s going to see her…in his clothes…in his bed…and her scars…he’s going to see those too. She’s less pleased with him seeing her scars, but she wants to hide nothing from him. If this is going to work she has to be Rose Tyler, scars and all and he’s going to have to be Jon Ardis…scars and all. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) Rose opens the door and steps back into the room…his room.

Jon’s in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil when he hears the front door; bugger, he was hoping to be safely hidden in his room with Rose before Jack came home. No such luck then. Well, he thinks he has been fairly lucky today as is, so if dealing with Jack is the price he has to pay the universe for the day he had today, he will gladly pay that and more.

“Jon are you here?” Jack says.

“In the kitchen,” he hollers.

Jack puts his things down and makes his way to the kitchen. Jon’s not looking up, isn’t sure if it’s because he’s still angry about last night or if he doesn’t want to answer any questions about Rose. Both he thinks, he is still upset and he definitely doesn’t want to answer any questions about Rose, mostly because he doesn’t really have any answers to give.

“What’s up Doc?” Jack says, trying for funny.

Jon doesn’t respond, doesn’t bring his head up to even acknowledge Jack at first. He’s trying to decide the best approach to the conversation that needs to happen. Direct approach he thinks. He has to do that before Rose comes out looking for him and tea. Right then, no time like the present he tells himself.

“Okay Jack, I’m going to talk, you’re going to listen. I know you’re going to have questions when I’m done but I don’t have any answers for you right now. It’s been an incredibly long few days emotionally and I am wrung out, so you will need to hold all questions until at least tomorrow. Are we in agreement?" Jon asks. He looks at Jack then, sees the bemused look on his face and smiles at him. Jon knows that look is going to change in about 30 seconds. “I will take your silence as agreement to my terms. Rose and I are dating, officially and exclusively. She is now my girlfriend. She is currently in my shower and will be staying the night here,” Jon says as he watches the bemused look Jack had seconds ago change to first confusion, then to anger, then acceptance.

Jack grabs Jon and hugs him, pats him on the back and says, “I’m happy for you Jon,” before stepping away and leaving the kitchen and a speechless Jon behind.

Jon shakes off the daze he fell into and finishes putting the tea tray together. He adds a few packets of biscuits, and grabs the tray to head back to his room. He can hear the shower is still going so he sets the tea tray down and turns the telly on. He has no idea what to put on. He has the first episode of Firefly already cued up, decides it will work as well as anything else and leaves it ready to go for when Rose comes out. If she doesn’t like it they can pick something different. He grabs pajama bottoms, a clean top, clean pants and uses the shower in the hall so that Rose doesn’t have to wait for him once she’s done. While he’s in the shower he tries to put together a plan for how tonight will go.

He’s come up with nothing by the time he’s done in the shower. He thinks about going to ask Jack, but no, he needs to show everyone that he can do this without having to be monitored; so he decides to do what he’s done all day, be himself and roll with it. It’s worked out better than he could have imagined so far and if it isn’t broken no point in trying to fix it. He turns off the water, towels off, throws on his jimjams and heads back to his room. When he enters he can hear the water in the sink running and he rushes back out to the loo in the hall to brush his teeth, then rushes back to the room, not wanting Rose to come out and have him not be there. He steps back into his room and is closing the door as Rose steps out of the en suite.

His eyes wander over her body and she feels heat. The kind of heat she’s only read about in books travels through her. She’s nervous, playing with the hem of the too long t-shirt she’s wearing, she looks at him and smiles. It’s that smile where just the tip of her tongue is showing at the corner of her mouth and she’s looking at him through her lashes and…fuck…there is no way he’s going to be able to hide how that affects him. He was also not prepared for the sudden flash of possessiveness that wracks his body at seeing her like that. Here in his room, dressed in his clothes, wet from his shower and looking at him like that. He doesn’t know what that look is, can’t even get enough brainpower to try and come up with a description, he just knows he wants to see this image everyday for the rest of his life. Jon shakes himself to reign in his thoughts. “Hello,” he says shyly to her.

“Hello,” she replies in kind.

“I brought tea and umm…biscuits,” he flaps his hands towards the tray.

Yep, awkward Rose thinks. Okay enough of that, she just told herself how to handle this and she mentally shakes herself. “So, your shower is amazing and a great place to think,” she says.

“Mmmhmm,” he replies, wondering where she’s going with this.

“While in there I came to a decision. We have not done this in a very long time,” she gestures between the two of them, “and there are going to be moments that are…weird and awkward. I think we should just…uh…move forward. Like right now, this whole thing is awkward yeah? So rather than focusing on that, I think we just acknowledge the moment for what it is and then press forward. The hope is that the awkward moments will become less so once we admit them. So um…yeah, that’s…that’s what I think,” she states to him.

“Brilliant. You Rose Tyler are bloody brilliant and I think that’s a wonderful idea,” he replies.

She walks up to him, offers her hand, which he takes and starts to walk over to the bed. They both knew this was coming and she has decided to not get weird about it. They both know nothing is going to happen so there shouldn’t be any pressure.

Reaching the bed she pulls back the covers, looks up at him with that tongue touched smile and says, “Left or right?”

“I…I have no idea…no one’s…I’ve not been…It’s just been me for 15 years Rose,” he stutters quietly, trying not to be embarrassed.

“Oh…uh…me neither. No preference really. I usually sleep in the middle…you know uh…alone,” she stutters back at him.

“This would be one of the awkward moments we are to recognize and then move past right?” he asks.

“Yep, definitely,” she giggles softly.

“Right then,” Jon says, picking her up and tossing her into his bed, “Moving on from that.”

Rose is stunned for a moment and then pushes herself to get over it, this is her boyfriend and this is okay. She is allowed to be happy. Wiggling herself up the mattress, she sits herself directly in the center of the bed and waits for him to choose a side. He’s staring at her and for a minute she starts to feel more than a little self-conscious. NO! She tells herself. He’s allowed to look, should be looking, that’s fucking normal! So rather than focus on what’s awkward she holds her hand out to him and he takes it, entwines their fingers together and she pulls him into the bed with her. He shimmies himself up to her and decides to just go for it. If she can be brave and move past the weirdness then he can too.

He wraps his arm around her, doesn’t think he can speak right now; pretty certain all function to form words has left him. So he holds her to him and lays his head on hers, clicks the button on the remote to turn the lights off and just lies there…holding his girlfriend. Minutes later they have both settled, the awkwardness is gone and before the first episode plays out they are both asleep.

Jack watches Jon from the living room as grabs the tea service and heads back to his room and apparently Rose. This was not a development Jack saw coming. He is completely blindsided by the fact that these two people somehow managed to end up here in bed together. When Jon first blurted everything out in the kitchen Jack’s first response was confusion. How did this happen in one day? Then he moved onto anger, the thought that Jon would take advantage of Rose in such a way really pissed him off, but then he realized Jon’s not taking advantage of Rose.

She is 27 years old with a mind of her own and maybe Amy’s right. They are not children and Jack loves both of them. With love comes trust. He has to trust that they are doing what they feel is right for them and honestly he’s not one to judge. Then finally acceptance, he wants this for them, wants to see them both happy, so he gave Jon what Jack knows he was really after, approval. Because no matter how pissed he is at Jack for last night, he knows Jack loves him and only wants what’s best for both him and Rose. He really, really wants to know what’s going on behind the closed doors of Jon’s room but steers himself away into his own room. He is immediately on the phone to Donna.

Jaaacckkkk,” she whines, “It’s 10 pm. I’m in bed…asleep you perv.”

“I said nothing,” he says defensively.

“I know what you’re thinkin’. Why you calling me?” she slurs sleepily.

“There’s been a development in the Jon, Rose situation,” he says with a grin she can hear over the phone.

“Lemme, gimme 5 minutes and I’ll call you back. Get Amy and Rory on a conference call,” she orders before disconnecting.

He calls Amy’s phone and she finally answers on the 5th ring. “What’s wrong? Who’s in hospital? Is the store on fire?” her panicked voice rushes through the phone.

“Nothing, no one and no. In that order,” he replies flatly.

“Why you calling then? It’s late and we’re in bed. Can this wait till morning?” she yawns.

“No, it can’t wait till morning and Donna will be calling any second so I can explain,” he says.

“Conference call? But nothing’s wrong?” she asks. Just then Donna rings in and he puts her into a 3-way conversation with him, Amy and Rory.

“All here and accounted for then?” Donna asks

“Yes we’re here, what’s going on?” Amy says.

Apparently there has been some major plot development in the Jon and Rose situation,” Donna says with glee.

“Are either of them dead or in hospital?” Rory demands harshly.

“Well no but,” Jack starts.

“No, listen to me Jack Harkness and Donna Noble. It was one thing to plot and scheme when we thought they couldn’t do this for themselves. Obviously we were wrong to assume that. They seem to be doing just fine without us. Now you listen up both of you, Leave Them Alone! They are not children! How are they going to be in a relationship if we make them feel like they are incapable of doing so? If they come to you for help, then and only then are you to offer your opinions or assistance. For future reference only an emergency warrants a call on a night before Rory is taking his fucking exams! Now leave them be and go to bed!” with those parting words Amy disconnects the line leaving Donna and Jack in shocked silence.

After a few moments Donna says, “She’s right. We need to let them do this themselves. I know you love Rose but Jon is not going to do anything to intentionally hurt her and she’s not going to hurt him either. This isn’t a soap and we need to back off.”

“Yeah, Ok. It’s just, well part of me is so excited for him and another part of me is scared shitless for him ya know. He’s been alone so long Donna and she is so messed up. I’m really worried for the both of them,” he says.

“I am too Jack, but we cannot be in this relationship for them, they have to figure it out. Find out what is going to work for them or not work for them. Amy’s right, we need to stay out of it unless we’re asked,” Donna replies.

“Yeah, Ok. Night Donna,” he says tiredly.

“Night Jack,” she says disconnecting.

Jack strips down and crawls into bed. He lays there trying to figure out why he feels like he needs to involve himself in this thing that’s happening with Jon and Rose. He wants to believe it’s because he loves them and doesn’t want either getting hurt, but if he’s being truly honest with himself it comes back to not wanting to share his toys. Jon has been his exclusively his for 14 years and Rose for the last 3. He needs to let go, needs to move on. Jon is finally doing that, moving on and Jack has to let that happen, he drifts off to sleep after that thought.


	10. Chapter 10

Jon notices several things as sleep starts to fade. A) The sun is coming in through his window; the reason sleep is currently fading. He must have forgotten to close the blinds. 2) There’s something tickling his chin and nose. He tries to raise his hand to swipe at whatever is intruding on his sleep but cannot move his arm because…Oh…right…there is a gir…err…woman in his bed. Not just any woman either. Rose Tyler is currently lying in his bed. The back of her entire body aligned into the front of his and her head resting on his arm. Which is why he can’t move it, his other arm curled around her waist possessively holding her to him. His hand has found its way underneath the hem of the t-shirt he loaned her and is pressed against skin…her actual skin. It’s warm and soft and he’s not quite awake enough to stop himself from drawing lazy circles on her abdomen and oh…OH…her hand is resting just on his hip also under the hem of the shirt he is wearing.

He is suddenly very awake. Now that he is very awake he realizes that other parts are also very awake and he freezes. He doesn’t know what to do. Should he extricate himself from the situation before she wakes up? Jon doesn’t want her waking up to…well…that, which is currently pressed into her backside. It’s too late she’s starting to wake up. Her body is stretching itself, pressing harder against him and there is no way she doesn’t feel that. He tries to lie as still as possible. Maybe she’ll think he’s still sleeping and if she thinks he’s still sleeping will not be too upset at the condition he is presently exhibiting.

Rose’s brain is fuzzy. There shouldn’t be that much light coming into her room, her bed is not this comfortable, her flat is not this warm nor does not come equipped with a man. A man that is currently snuggled up behind her. Her brain kicks into gear at that last thought. A MAN!!! Her eyes blink open and she takes in her surroundings, window…large glass…oh…right. She has a boyfriend, a boyfriend who is currently pressed against her and warm and oh…um…awake? Well parts of him are anyways. She thinks he’s awake because he is currently not breathing…at all. If he doesn’t breathe soon he may pass out. Awkward she thinks…this whole thing is splendidly, wonderfully, terribly, scary awkward. Holding true to what she stated to him last night she turns in his arms and does her best to make eye contact with him (She thinks she’s successful…mostly).

“So…um…bit awkward this yeah?” she says quietly.

He starts breathing again. She’s not angry, not upset at his...err…issue. He looks down smiles at her and says, “Yep, but as with all awkward things from here on out, it’s been recognized and now I am moving on. She smiles at him and it’s so huge that it takes up the whole of her face and his smile is reacting to hers and he always wants this. This right here, this feeling and waking up seeing her in his bed, in his clothes and wrapped around her. Oh yes, he could definitely get used to waking up like this.

“Right,” she says, “moving on,” and she snuggles closer to his chest. One of her arms is trapped between them and the other is pulling him flush to the front of her body and he feels more than hears her inhale. She’s smelling him and that’s…well…fanfuckingtastic he thinks. “Do you have a remote to close the blinds? It’s too early to be up unless I’m being paid to do so,” she asks sleepily.

“Yep,” his stupid fucking voice squeaks out. He fumbles around behind him refusing to turn his body away from her, finally lands on the remote and hits the button to close the blinds.

“Mmm…lovely,” she mumbles, burrowing further into him and she can feel sleep pulling her back down.

Jon wraps his arm back around her waist and tugs, much harder than he intended, pulling her as close to him as their bodies will allow and replies with, “It really is.”

Rose wants to kiss him. She wants to throw her leg over his hip, crawl on top of him and kiss him. She’s not quite awake yet. Awake enough to feel him pressed into the front of her but she’s still in that dreamy place of first waking up. She knows it’s too soon, too fast, too much and she’s telling herself not to, but her body is not responding to her brains commands yet. Before she realizes what she’s actually doing she throws her leg over his hip, turning them so that he is now fully under her and she is now sitting directly on…well…him. She’s sitting on top of him, Jon…her boyfriend. She has a boyfriend. One that is currently underneath her and probably thinks she’s crazy. She hasn’t moved since she rolled on top of him and then she realizes he hasn’t moved either, but the blinds are closed now, it’s dark, pitch black and they cannot see each other.

Jon wants her desperately. He wants to kiss her, wants other things too but mostly he wants to kiss her…badly. He’s laying there with her…his girlfriend (he has a fucking girlfriend) in his arms and just as he thinks he may lean down and see how she reacts to him laying a kiss on the top of her head that is currently buried in his chest and breathing in his scent, she places her leg over his hip and turns them. He’s not sure what is going on now. There is a myriad of sensations for him to take in, but the only one he can focus on is her straddling him and pressed up against...him.

He can feel the heat radiating from her center where she is pressing into him. Jon doesn’t know what to do…doesn’t know what the acceptable response to this is. His breathing has stopped and he freezes, waits for her. Waits for her to say something or realize that she made a mistake and move or something…anything before he passes out again. Just as he thinks that, he feels her move. Not off of him…she’s bending her torso down, he feels her breasts through the shirts pressed between their chests. He can feel her ridiculously hot breath on his chin. Any thoughts he had are gone and he’s afraid he’s going to snap and lose his control over the situation.

Hands…he has hands…hands that he brings up and presses gently to the sides of her face. His eyes are becoming accustomed to the lack of light and he can make out her silhouette above him. He wishes the lights were on so he could see her face, make sure this is okay, but they aren’t and he’s not fucking moving from this spot so they will have to stay off. He wants to pull her down and kiss her, but he doesn’t want to scare her and without being able to see her face for permission he’s going to have to ask her. Right…this would be the awkward part that he’s supposed to acknowledge, accept and move on from. I can do this…I can do this…over and over he tells himself. She is being so fucking brave…much braver than him. He couldn’t have done this, but she did and he knows it’s his turn now. He needs to let her know this is okay, that he wants this as badly as she does. He brings her head down and rests her forehead against his.

She feels him take in a deep breath and then he says softly, “Rose, is this okay?” He’s so quiet and she can feel the tremor in his voice as he asks. She knows he hasn’t done this a long time and she’s never done this. She’s never done this. He needs to know that, needs to know what he’s getting himself into. She doesn’t know what’s going to happen here and she doesn’t want to stop it yet, but he needs to know first. He feels her take in a breath, is ready to move away at her slightest disapproval of what’s taking place between them. He knows it’s too fast, too soon, too much, but he wants this with her rightfuckingnow! He’s not even sure of what he wants he just knows he wants it. Then he hears her…he has to really focus on what she says because it’s so fucking quiet.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Jon…I’ve…I’ve never done…this,” Rose says.

He doesn’t know if she means this as in taking the initiative or this as in **this**. He thinks he should ask, but she’s pressed against him and the heat that is radiating from her core to his extremely painful erection is making his brain fuzzy. Jon is trying to pull back from the sensation of her sitting atop him but it’s been so long and she feels…he pulls in another shuddering breath and says, “Rose, is this okay?” because he cannot think of anything else to say at this moment and he cannot move forward until she’s answered him.

Rose hears him ask the same question again. It is okay she thinks to herself? She told him, he knows now and he still wants this…so yes this is okay. Her voice is gone, swallowed by fear, anxiety and excitement. Her forehead is still pressed to his and she can feel his unsteady warm breath on her face. She closes the distance between her lips and his.

Jon’s response is immediate. There is no hesitation as he returns the gentle pressure of lips pressed to lips and feels her sag almost weightless against him. He’s done in, can no longer process anything other than his mouth against hers and her body atop his. Jon’s lost in sensation, rolling them so that she is under him, his tongue swipes at her lower lip and her response is to open to him. He’s cradled between her thighs, propped up on his elbows above her. His tongue slides into her mouth, it’s hot and wet and she tastes like nothing he’s ever tasted before and it’s so good. He doesn’t ever want this to stop; can think of nothing that has ever felt better than kissing Rose Tyler.

His hands are in her hair angling her face so his tongue can penetrate deeper into her mouth. Her tongue slides into his mouth exploring, running against his teeth then the roof of his mouth. Her legs have wrapped themselves around his hips bringing her center back into contact with his erection. He can feel the heat and wetness of her through their clothing and her hands are on his back under his shirt. His tongue plunges deeper into her mouth and she whimpers, fucking whimpers as he rocks his hips and the pressure from his erection presses into her. He hears it, the whimper and he’s unsure if it’s a good noise or a bad noise and that freezes him.

After Rose tells him she’s never done this and he again confirms with her that this is okay she presses her lips to his. She knows this is all happening too fast, but she’s 27 not 15 and she’s caught up in a tsunami of sensations she’s never experienced before. She knows the biology of what’s happening right now. She has done her research. Her therapist told her there would be a time when she would be ready for this. At the time she didn’t believe her. Rose never thought she would want to be touched like this…ever, but right now she is so glad her therapist made her do the research. She knows her body is being flooded with chemicals and making it impossible to think rationally, but when he rolls on top of her and his tongue parts her lips she doesn’t care.

Rose doesn’t care that it’s too much too fast, doesn’t care that they haven’t had the right conversations, doesn’t care that she’s never really done this, doesn’t care about a single fucking thing except his tongue in her mouth and his body pressed against hers. She feels his hands in her hair angling her mouth for better access. Her hands move up his back under his shirt and she feels skin…his skin under her hands. His tongue moves deeper into her mouth as he rocks his hips against her and the friction is so fucking good. She’s so caught up in the sensations that a whimper escapes her throat…and he stops. Full Stop and she freezes. It’s like a bucket of ice water has been thrown on her and she doesn’t know what to do. He’s pulling his face back from hers and she wants to grab him and start kissing him again, to feel him pressing down on her. Rose’s chemical addled brain can’t make sense of what’s happening and she tries to push him away.

He doesn’t want her, not like that. Why would he? She has no clue what she’s doing and she’s damaged goods, broken. What man would want her after the things Jimmy made her do? She can feel her breathing coming erratically and the sting of tears in her eyes. She’s sure it’s only been seconds since he stopped kissing her but she feels like it’s been hours and she’s starting to panic. Rose has never been in this situation before. She’s scared, tears falling and…wait…he’s lying on her still, keeping her from moving. His head is resting against hers, she can feel his breathing is labored and maybe he’s not rejecting her.

She’s trying to take in air, trying to make her brain think rationally. She’s new at this, but in a way so is he. 15 years is a lifetime and it’s been a lifetime for him since he’s done this. Maybe he’s freaking out too? The blood rushing in her veins is finally slowing. She knows she’s still crying but she can feel tears falling onto her cheeks and she realizes they are coming from Jon. Okay, awkward moment…they agreed how to handle those and she is not a weak simpering little girl. FUCK! She is a 27-year-old woman and she will face this head on, because she has been staring at this man for 3 years. She has wanted to meet him, made stories in her head about him, and he fucking wants her, this is her boyfriend GOD DAMMIT! She can fucking do this!

(Deep breathe in, deep breath out) “Jon?” she asks very quietly. Brave new Rose she may be, but the real Rose; the broken and damaged Rose is so close to the surface still. When he doesn’t respond she says it again still quietly, “Jon? What’s…is something wrong? Are you okay?”

Jon is terrified. Horrified he hurt her or pushed or she said stop and he was too caught up to hear it. He felt her breathing stop. He can feel her tears on his hands that are still in her hair as they travel down her face. Jon feels her make an attempt to squirm under him but his body is too heavy for her to move. He’s crying now. He thinks he may be sick that he did this to her, is afraid to move because she’s going to leave and she should. He pushed her too hard too fast. He was selfish, didn’t stop and now she’s crying and wait…she’s talking…asking him something…is he okay? He can’t make sense of her questions, isn’t responding to her. He feels Rose place her hands on each side of his face and bring his eyes to hers. His eyes are closed and he’s scared to open them. Scared of what he’ll see when he does and he hears her say his name again, “Jon…please look at me?” He has to now that she asked and he forces his eyes open, forces himself to be a fucking grown ass man about this.

“Rose…I’m…I,” he needs to say it; maybe if he tells her he’s sorry she won’t leave. It’s only been a day and already he’s planned his whole life around her. If she leaves now and takes that with her he won’t recover. Jon is self aware enough to know he will never be able to take this step again. He’s given himself just enough strength to have one shot, one chance at a normal fucking life and if he’s cocked that up already, he’ll not try again.

“I’m sorry Rose,” he stammers quietly, but he’s still talking and she can barely hear him, “I…did I hurt you? I…you made…there was a sound and I…” he trails off, can’t even bring himself to finish the sentence.

“What?” she asks, “No…Jon…no you didn’t hurt me. Look,” she’s reaching over to the table for something, he has no clue what she’s reaching for and he still hasn’t moved…SHIT! He still has her pinned beneath him. He goes to move off of her but Rose holds tightly to him with the arm not currently reaching for the table. “Jon, how does the remote work the lights?” Rose asks. She doesn’t sound angry, worried and a little scared but not upset. Staying in place he reaches the remote and turns the lights on a dim setting. Light enough they can see each other properly but not so bright that the light hurts their eyes and he sets the remote next to them on the bed and brings his face back to hers.

“Look,” she says again, placing her hands back on his face to align their vision. (Deep breathe in, deep breath out) “I’m not hurt Jon, you didn’t hurt me,” Rose tells him reassuringly.

“There was…you made a noise,” he breathes out. Jon can hear how bloody stupid it sounds, if he’d been paying attention he was probably making noises as well, all part and parcel of what they were doing.

“This is one of those moments okay. We’re going to have them. I…I…really wish it hadn’t happened right then but here it is and we…we have to deal with that and move past it okay? So…uh…what…what happened? Was I not…did I do something wrong?” she blurts out.

She thinks she’s weak, that’s what she told him, but he has seen no evidence of that. Every step they have taken forward has been because of her. When he freezes she moves, when he can’t find words she says just the right thing at the right time to get him talking. This, what’s happening right now could have turned out awful if he had tried to do what she’s doing. She’s much too good for him and much stronger that she thinks. He has to be strong now too, he has to match her stride or he will fuck this up and he does **not** want that.

“No Rose. God no…everything…you…it’s,” he’s stammering and stuttering grasping for the words that just won’t come. He needs to force them out of his throat, she is being so brave and he is such a fucking coward. He closes his eyes, takes a breath and says, “Rose you were…are perfect. I was so caught up in what we…in what was happening…and then I heard that noise and I freaked out. I didn’t know if it was good or bad or if I hurt you and then you were crying and I just…froze,” he says rapidly, “I’m sorry,” he says quietly opening his eyes to hers again.

“I…no you didn’t hurt me. I…well…everything was good…really, really good in fact until you stopped and pulled back and then I thought…I thought you’d changed your mind…didn’t want this…want me and I was scared. I’ve never…I thought what I said finally sunk in. That you changed your mind…hence the…uh…crying,” Rose says. She feels like she needs to apologize but she’s been working on not being sorry for everything and she shouldn’t be sorry that she was scared and neither should he. “I’m okay…and you’re okay right?” she asks.

“Yes, I’m okay now. I was panicked you were going to leave for a minute, but yeah, I’m okay now,” he says back softly.

“Well then, as long as we’re both okay and we’re talking about this anyways I’m just going to say this…for future reference. If we should find ourselves in a similar situation, I promise that if I want you to stop, I will tell you and…if…uh…you…I need you to promise the same thing. I know it’s been a very long time since you’ve been in a relationship and I imagine this is just as scary for you as it is for me, so ground rules yeah?” she states.

Jon’s still laying on her and she is likely being crushed under his weight. He notices her legs are still wrapped around him and she’s holding him to her with both arms. “Do you want me to move? This cannot be the most comfortable way to have this conversation?” Jon says.

He feels her grip tighten just slightly and she says very quietly, “No…please just stay…just for a minute…I…I don’t mind really,” and then a little louder, “unless…um…do you want to move?” she asks hesitantly.

“What? No. God no Rose, I’d be perfectly happy to stay right here all bloody day,” he rushes out and he’s blushing, he didn’t meant to say that.

She can’t help it, she laughs then; a real laugh that almost dislodges him from between her thighs and then he starts laughing too. They both know it’s more to release the tension that had built up from the conversation than because what he said was funny, but Rose thinks they made it through another terrible, awkward moment and he’s still here and she’s still here. Then she remembers there is an incredibly sexy man, her boyfriend between her thighs. They may not have sex now, here…today, but there’s definitely something to be said for the way he kisses her. She brings both of her hands up, lightly grabs a hold of his really fucking great hair and pulls his mouth back to hers. Again his response is immediate. He doesn’t wait this time, his tongue is right there begging entrance and she opens to him. Just like that the awkward moment is gone and they are right back where they were only a few minutes ago. The lights are still on and he desperately wants to see her. Jon shifts them again without breaking from the kiss and she is straddling him once more.

No bra…Rose Tyler’s breasts…he’s lost again, turning them so she is back under him. His mouth is at the join of her throat and neck sucking on her pulse point hard enough that there will be a mark. That thought causes him to harden even more, knowing he marked her and that mark it will be there, proof that this happened. It wasn’t some fantasy or dream or near death experience. This is happening, she is his and that mark will prove it.

She throws her head back into the pillow to allow him to keep doing whatever it is he’s doing to her…because this is fucking great. Better than any drug she had ever taken, she could easily become addicted to this she thinks and that is Rose’s last coherent thought as Jon’s mouth moves to the nipple of her left breast. His mouth surrounds her nipple, his other hand softly squeezing her other breast. She’s gone now, floating in the ether and no longer attached to her own body. Her hands are in his hair raking across his scalp and holding him in place.

Not necessary flashes through his mind briefly, he’ll not be leaving till she tells him too. He feels that electrical sensation in the whole of his body, feels that pull in his gut and this is right, this is right, this is right over and over in his head.

Rose feels the wetness between her thighs and tries pressing them together for some kind of relief, some kind of friction to stop the aching throbbing that she doesn’t quite understand beyond her book learning, which did not prepare her for this at all. However, Jon is still between her thighs so when she tries to squeeze them together what happens is so, so, so much better. She feels him press harder into her, grinding his hips and it’s just… “Ahh…fuck…just…oh my God Jon,” she mumbles out.

Jon hears her, not sure if she even realizes what she’s saying. He did that, made her incoherent and babbling with lust and want and need and hearing his name fall from her lips in that moment is too much. He can feel the climax approaching, knows he’s lost to it, doesn’t want to go off in his pants like a fucking teenage boy but she’s grinding against him and she’s so wet that he can feel the dampness through both their pants. He moves his mouth back to hers, she pushes harder into him, he rips his mouth away and he looks at her, right into her eyes and fucking growls as his body is wracked with possessiveness.

She responds with a needy whimper and his mouth is on her neck right below her ear. His hand that was on her breast is moving down quickly. She said she’d stop him; he has to trust that she will because he’s not, not now, he’s so close and he wants her to fall too, fall with him, even if they aren’t actually having sex. His hand stops for a second at the waist of her pants, she whimpers again and then he hears it. “Please, please, please,” Rose says over and over. Jon's hand is in her pants, his fingers running through her slit. She’s so hot, so wet and he groans into her ear as his hand makes contact.

“Rose,” he moans, “fuck you’re so wet.”

His voice in her ear talking to her like that, his hands in her pants and his mouth on her neck it’s too much. He slides his middle finger inside of her, his thumb pressing on her clit and his voice is in her ear. Jon’s begging her, “Please Rose, please, I can’t…I’m not going to be able to wait…please.” As those words leave his mouth he feels her muscles tighten and spasm around his finger. Her body goes rigid beneath him and he looks at her face, needs to see it when she cums. The look on her face and her muscles clenching around his finger send him over the edge. He’s falling…and she’s falling, everything is bright white behind his eyes. He can no longer hear or see anything. It’s all just sensation and heat and wet and electricity and Rose. Jon comes back to himself slowly, reality reasserting itself. His hand is still inside of her, he looks up at her face, her eyes are still closed and her breathing is starting to come back to normal as is his.

Slowly removes his hand and leans down to kiss her. It's soft and sweet and perfect and he cannot believe he just came in his jimjams like a schoolboy, but he did and it’s fucking awesome and he knows now that he was right. He was right to take the initiative in meeting her, right to nick her from work, right to ask her to stay and as he’s still kissing her he thinks he’s so, so, so fucking glad that Jack pissed him off. Her eyes start to open and he pulls back slightly so she can see him, so he can see her properly. Her eyes are back to being that burnt sugar color and she has a huge smile on her face, one that he imagines is reflected on his.

“Hello,” he says quietly not wanting to disturb the peace that has settled between them.

“Hello,” she responds equally as quiet.

“Rose Tyler,” he says to her and she smiles at him, “You’re my girlfriend.”

Her smile widens when he says that. He didn’t think it could but it does and she says, “Yep,” popping the p the way he normally would and then he hears it; her stomach growls and quite loudly. He is just about to suggest breakfast when she says, “Do you smell bacon and…eggs?”

“Mmmhmm,” he responds, “Jack must have made breakfast. Do you want to go eat with Jack or should we have breakfast in here?” He doesn’t really want to take her out of this room, doesn’t want to subject either of them to Jack’s scrutiny, but he’ll leave the final decision up to her.

“Uh…I’m starving yeah? Haven’t eaten since the chips yesterday, but I…I don’t want to go out there right now…is that…is that okay?” she asks.

“Yep,” he responds leaning down kissing her again, “I will bring breakfast to you…my girlfriend…who is mostly naked…in my bed…are you sure you want food?’ he asks kissing her neck by her ear again.

“Food…yeah…good…there,” she mumbles back at him and he’s prepared to do what they just did all over again until her stomach growls again.

“Right…food…going now,” Jon, says, kissing her one more time before fully pulling away. He grabs his robe off the hook by the door, slips it on and goes to get food…for his girlfriend. As soon as the door closes he feels the stickiness in his pants and wishes he’d remembered to change, but well…too late now…food…he is in search of food…and coffee…definitely coffee or maybe tea. He doesn’t know which and turns to head back into the room. He will find out which she’d like and change his pants. Brilliant he thinks with a huge smile across his face.

When Jon steps back into the room his eyes immediately find Rose. She is tucked away in his bed, under his covers, still mostly naked and flushed that pretty pink from her orgasm. He sees a grimace on her face and then he takes in the rest of the room. He didn’t notice when he first stepped back in because…well…all he could see was her. He was only gone maybe 30 seconds, but as he looks around he sees the blinds partly opening and closing, the lights are going from dim to bright, the telly and his radio are both turning on and off. Once he takes in the entire picture before him he starts to laugh. He can’t help it; she’s adorable sitting there in his bed with that look on her face. She extends her hand out to him with his remote in it and a pleading look on her face.

“Right, you tell me what you were trying for here, Ill fix that, then change my pants and do you want coffee or tea,” he asks her while still laughing. Jon takes the remote from her, bending down to kiss her. He doesn’t think he will ever get enough of kissing her. She kisses him back and makes a small noise of discontent as he pulls away.

He waves the remote at her in askance. “Was trying to turn on the telly and open the blinds,” she says embarrassed.

He fiddles with the remote for a moment and gets everything turned off. The blinds open, light spilling forth from the window and the telly kicks on. “Okay, channel up and down, volume up and down, and DVD,” he says as he hands the remote back to her.

“My hero,” she coos, smiling up at him through her dark lashes and her tongue, that fucking tongue will be the death of him.

It’s poking out the side of her mouth again and he is salivating at the thought of chasing it back into her mouth with his own when she pulls him down and kisses him. A happy noise escapes his throat and he beams a smile at her. She places a hand on his chest and softly pushes him back.

“Pants and breakfast and coffee…definitely coffee,” she says grinning at him.

He grabs a pair of pants from his drawer and his jeans from yesterday and walks into the en suite to change. He cleans himself up, slides into his slippers, puts his robe back on and comes back out to the room.

“Okay, coffee and breakfast coming right up,” he says as he walks back over and kisses her again, because he can, because she is his and he can do that now. She kisses him back, her tongue in his mouth and he’s falling right back into bed. Rose is pulling him over her; kissing him with her hands fisted in his hair and…his stomach growls. She releases him and lets loose a little giggle, a cute little thing that makes his breath catch and causes a flutter in his chest, he smiles down at her. “Yes, breakfast and coffee for my girlfriend, yep coming right up,” he says pushing off the bed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech in Italics is remembered conversations.

As Jon walks down the hallway that leads to the main part of the flat he can hear Jack talking with someone. He hears his name and Rose’s, which puts him instantly on edge. This thing with Rose is so new he doesn’t even want to talk about it, worried he’ll mess it up or jinx it or…well…just something bad will happen. He doesn’t have a clue right now why the universe has given him this chance and he’s doing everything he can to not fuck this up. Jack’s going to want answers; answers he’s not prepared to give at this moment, maybe never. Things with Rose…to say they had progressed faster than he anticipated would be understating the events of the last 24 hours.

Once he walks out from the hallway, sees Jack and Donna in the kitchen, he’s relieved that Rose decided to stay in the room. Dealing with Jack would have been bad enough, but to subject her to both Jack and Donna…no that definitely would have been too much too soon he thinks. Jon makes his way through the living room and into the kitchen and the conversation stops.

“Please, don’t let me interrupt, just here to get breakfast,” Jon states, reaching for two plates from the cupboard, “Thanks Jack, for making breakfast by the way, very…kind of you. Morning Donna, you’re here early. Wait, why are you here at all?” he asks, piling food on plates for him and Rose.

“There’s to be a party tonight at the shop. I had some things to go over with Jack is all,” she replies.

“Yes, yep, party tonight, all of our lovely well meaning friends together in one place. Yep, should be a good time,” he says, pouring two cups of coffee and placing the carafe with everything else on a serving tray to carry it all.

He knows they are waiting for him to say something, he can feel them staring at him and watching his every move with hawk-like intensity. Honestly, he feels like a field mouse about to be scooped up and devoured as a snack. Once everything is on the tray he looks to his two friends, smiles a huge smile at them, “If you’ll excuse me, there happens to be a quite lovely blonde that happens to be my girlfriend waiting for me in my bed!” he turns to walk out, tray loaded down with food and coffee.

Just as he’s about to enter the hall and almost relative safety he hears it, Donna's voice, “Jon, Jon wait a moment,” he stops, bugger so close he thinks.

“Yeah, Donna what is it?” he asks.

She comes walking up beside him, places a vase with a single rose in it on the tray, “Can’t be serving your girlfriend breakfast in bed without that,” she says smiling at him.

He’s blushing just a bit, can feel it starting in just the tips of his ears and says, “Right, thank you Donna,” scurrying away as fast as the tray laden with food and coffee will allow.

As soon as Jon is gone from the room Rose grabs her phone. She wants to call Amy; wants to tell her everything and gush about the fact that it did all happen. She’s not sure how everything happened though. The last 24 hours are a dizzying, whirring blur of emotions and sensations that she either has never had before or…no…she’s just never had them before, not any of them. It’s not that she’s never liked a boy before. She had crushes and at one time she thinks she may have even loved Jimmy…kind of…in a way or...maybe not. This though, this thing with Jon…everything about this is new. She doesn’t really have the words to describe what’s going on…how or why it happened so fast. She thinks she should be worried at how strongly she feels about him already, about how fast things have progressed between them, at the fact that if she fucks this up she may not only lose her only friends but her job as well.

For some reason she’s not worried about this…with him. It all just seems right, like it was always going to be this way. She wants to believe that, wants to think that everything she lived through with Jimmy and her mum was all so she could be here now. Rose thinks that maybe she was always meant to be broken, that every event that chiseled away at her through the years made her just damaged enough to be perfectly broken for Jon. She’s never really thought about fate or destiny or God before, never had a reason to really, but as Jon walks back into the room she decides to say thank you to fate, or God or the universe, just thank you to whoever broke her just enough to be perfectly broken for him.

When Jon enters the room his eyes immediately search for Rose. His brain knows she didn’t leave, but whenever he steps away from her, whenever his brain does not have the visual reassurance that she hasn’t fled and left him he starts to panic. He finds her just as he left her, a pretty pink and naked in his bed. He can see she has her phone but she’s not on it. She doesn’t notice him right away and he can see she’s lost in her own thoughts, but she doesn’t look upset…just…well…introspective maybe is the right word.

She’s gorgeous with the sun lighting up her hair and skin. The morning is just starting, the sun is still that orange-golden color and it’s playing off her hair and skin so perfectly. He wishes he had his phone so he could get that picture; keep this moment with her looking like that forever. Jon realizes then that he could potentially have moments like these...with her...forever. It’s insane and he knows it is. He’s only known her just under 24 hours, but he just knows…knows this is right.

For so many years Jon watched as others around him made a life for themselves, homes, jobs, relationships, kids, pets and Sunday family outings. That is a life he thought was certain he’d not be allowed to have, but sitting there in his bed is his girlfriend, he thinks she may be his salvation. She has come into his life like an ethereal goddess to save him from the claws of perdition.

He shakes his head to bring his thoughts back around to here and now. Being off in his own thoughts is all well and good but she is real and here and now and he wants to only ever be where she is. Just then she notices him, huge smile appearing on her face at the sight of him and it’s lost none of its impact. His response is immediate, his face widening to match hers as he makes his way over to the bed with their breakfast tray and sits down.

“Coffee…coffee…coffee,” she says, her hand held out in a grasping motion.

“Cream or sugar or both?” he asks as he grabs for her cup of coffee.

“Both please,” she beams at him and he melts. He can’t help it that look directed at him, it’s just everything.

“Right, how much?” he asks.

“Just…just…here let me do it,” she says, reaching over him to grab the cream and sugar. Once she has hold of the items she moves back to her place in the bed and goes about fixing her coffee.

Jon watches her. He wants to know how she drinks it, wants to know exactly how much cream and sugar she uses because these are the details, well he hopes these will be the details that will start to make up his life. He wants to know all of these details about her. These little things that seem so unimportant on the surface but make her a whole person.

“Mmm…coffee,” she exhales after her first sip. She’s too cute, too adorable and he can’t help it he has to kiss her right now, right this instant or he may combust. So he does; leans over and presses his lips to hers and she tastes sweet like her coffee. He wants to stay in that second forever. She’s pressing back into the kiss and a small happy noise comes from the back of his throat and then, “Food, hungry,” she mumbles against his lips and he feels her grin against his mouth.

Jon backs off from kissing her to retrieve their plates, sets the tray down as a table for them to use and says, “Okay, I wasn’t sure what you’d want so I just grabbed a bunch of everything. Jack made a full English so plenty to eat.”

“I didn’t know Jack could cook, this is delicious,” Rose says, shoveling eggs into her mouth.

“Well, if you want to live off of homemade pizza and a full English, then yes Jack can cook. Other than that he’s complete rubbish in the kitchen. Those are his ‘go to’ dishes, as he likes to call them. Pizza and wine for dinner and if whoever he’s cooking for is still around in the morning, full English,” Jon says.

He reaches over, grabs the remote, restarts the episode they fell asleep to last night and they descend into a comfortable silence as they eat. Once they finish he clears the tray and plates from the bed and pours her another cup of coffee. She watches him trying to measure out the amount of cream and sugar she used earlier and she’s just so happy right now. Seriously, she thinks her face may have permanently frozen with a smile on it because it hasn’t gone away since he stepped back into the room.

He hands her the coffee and waggles his brows at her. “It’s perfect,” she exclaims happily after taking a sip from the cup, “How’d you do that then?”

“Didn’t I tell you? I, Rose Tyler am a genius. Coffee shall not thwart me,” Jon says teasingly.

“You think you’re so impressive,” she chirps at him.

He waggles his brows at her again, “I am so impressive.” She giggles, really giggles like a…he doesn’t know what; just that he will give anything if he can hear that sound for the rest of his life. “So you were off in lala land when I came back, what had you so wrapped up?’ he inquires.

“I was just…” she knows her thoughts are insane and he will likely think she’s insane if she tells him, but if she’s right, if this is meant to happen between them then maybe he won’t.

Jon sees her hesitate with her answer. She either doesn’t want to tell him or she’s unsure if she should tell him, either way he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to push her…well…he does, but he’s not going to. Of course he wants to push her. He wants to know everything about her, every thought that flutters through her beautiful head but instead he waits; waits as she collects her thoughts and figures out whether to tell him what she was thinking or maybe how to tell him he thinks. She doesn’t look apprehensive about sharing the information, more like she’s trying to find a way to express it.

Rose Tyler had grown into a woman who did not trust her own instincts. Fights with her mum and her life with Jimmy had crushed any belief she had in herself. She had learned to not listen to her heart and to think things through with her head before taking any action; that stopped yesterday. Since the moment Jon grabbed her hand and entwined their fingers she has been running on pure instinct and that had worked well for the last 24 hours, so she’s going with it.

“I was just…” she starts and stops again. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “It’s insane. Completely barmy, the thoughts I’m having and I’m not, really I promise I’m not crazy. I mean if I was I wouldn’t really know I was because crazy people don’t think they’re crazy do they? In that same regard is a person actually crazy if they are sane enough to question their own sanity? I’m not…I’m not…normal and I’m not sure my brain works like it’s supposed to sometimes ya know?” she stammers out rapidly.

No, Jon doesn’t know, but he wants to. He’s lost her to full on babble and rant mode now. He’s familiar with this, has been known on occasion to indulge himself in these exact actions. It’s a different experience being on this side of it however. Jon’s normally the one babbling what others consider nonsense. He can’t help it. It’s the way his brain processes information and apparently just one more thing he has in common with Rose. So he listens and when it’s over he’ll sort through the barrage of words and try and dig out the meaning behind everything, but for now he just listens.

“But…I’m not crazy,” she states again, “I just…I can’t help but think that this is right ya know, us…everything that’s happened in the last 24 hours. 24 hours Jon…24…one day and everything’s different now yeah? When I woke up yesterday and got ready for work it was just a normal day and then it wasn’t. In one day I went from being Rose Tyler…beaten down, broken, lonely and absolutely certain to die alone with my face eaten by the many, many cats I’d acquired to…what? What am I now? For so many years that loneliness was part of my armor part of who I am. I know that a single decision can change a life, change the path that it was on previous to that decision but what…what if it doesn’t yeah? What if I was always meant to be this? What if everything that happened to me or to you was for this right here? To make me who I was always meant to be for you…for this? And I know it’s crazy as I stated earlier, but when you look at me…when you…when we…touch…it’s…different. You don’t know my past yet and I don’t know yours, but believe me when I say that what happened with us today, that should not have happened. I should not have been okay with that and I am, but I don’t know what to do with that yeah? I don’t know how to accept that one minute I’m miserable, just completely fucking miserable and then the next that’s all just gone. And now…(Deep breath in, deep breath out) I’m terrified. What if I don’t know how to be happy anymore Jon? I’ve been living in fear and misery for so long now, what if I can’t live without it? What if I fuck this up because I can’t figure out how to just be happy?” she rushes out quietly, her voice shaking.

Jon doesn’t know what to say, how to respond. He doesn’t have the answers to her questions because as brilliant as he is these are the same questions he’s been asking himself since yesterday and hasn’t been able to come up with anything that would appease his own mind much less hers. He looks over at her still sitting half naked in the center of his bed. Her hair is a riot. She has tear tracks on her face from her emotional rant. Her pouty bottom lip is trembling just slightly as she takes in air. She’s beautiful, perfect and she’s saying exactly what he needs to hear. She is in the same place he is with this thing that’s happening between them. He reaches over to her, grabs her hand and pulls her over to him.

Rose falls into him and he gently places her back against the pillows and removes his robe. He crawls over her his body covering hers. She automatically makes room for him between her legs and he kisses her, slow and sweet and perfect. Jon places his forehead against hers and closes his eyes. An action she has come to associate with him being overwhelmed by his emotions of the moment. He opens his eyes, looks into hers and she struggles to maintain the contact because she feels like he can see her…all of her when he looks at her like that. She feels like every horrible, awful, disgusting, broken and used part of her is on full display for him when he looks at her like that…he can see all of it.

“Rose Tyler,” he says, “I don’t believe in God, and I have no evidence to support the ideas of fate or destiny, but I don’t care. The universe has somehow deemed me worthy of this with you and whether it’s because we managed to survive long enough to get here, or if it’s because someone somewhere pulled on threads and strings our entire lives to make us who we needed to be for this…here and now with us…I don’t care. It doesn’t matter, because we are here, this is happening and this is very real. So for this one thing…for this…with you, I will forgo looking for the answers of why and how I am allowed to have this and just take it. I’m going to accept the gift that has been given and not ask why. As for whether or not you or I can be or know how to be happy…if you let me…I will spend the rest of every second of every minute of every day of my life helping to figure it out,” he finishes quietly.

She needs to get some control over her emotions right now. With him lying on top of her, looking at her like that and telling her that he feels the same way she does, she cannot think of a single thing except how much she wants this, wants him, now, now, now! But it’s not the right time, conversations still need to be had, things he needs to know first. So instead of pulling him down and kissing him, instead of stripping of the remaining layers of clothing between them and shagging him into a coma, she gives him a kiss but keeps it light, sweet as he did before, and then pulls back to smile at him. “So not a complete nutter then?” she asks.

He knows she’s being cheeky, it’s one of her tells. It’s what she does to diffuse and distract when the conversation becomes too emotionally charged for her to handle right then. “Well, I wouldn’t say that…but if you are crazy at least you’re not crazy alone anymore yeah?” he says just as cheeky.

“Better with two,” she says happily.

“Better with you,” he smiles down at her, “Right then Rose Tyler, what shall we do this fine day?” he asks pushing himself off of her and back to standing. He had to, if he stayed lying there with her looking at him like he just handed her the whole universe they’d never leave the bed…ever.

“You…uh…you want to spend the day together again?” she hesitantly asks.

It takes a moment for him to process and decipher what she’s really asking. She knows he wants to spend time with her today because he just asked her what she’d like to do. This is going to be the challenging part of dating Rose Tyler. He believes she’s everything, worth more than any precious gem or work of art or anything else really, but the hard part is going to be convincing her that she’s worth his time and so much more.

Jon knows she has a past. He doesn’t know exactly what happened, but again he is a genius. He can tell by her body language, the way she reacts at certain sounds or voices that it’s a violent past, both physically and emotionally. It’s also not nearly as in the past as his. He’s not blind either. Jon can see the scars, at least the ones that have been visible to him. She’s made no mention of them, but neither did she try to hide them. That tells him she wants him to know about them but isn’t yet ready to provide explanations for them. She’s so strong and brave, his Rose. She had forced herself to say things she thought she’d never say, do things she thought she’d never do and she did that for him. She thinks she’s weak, a coward and not worth his time or anyone’s time really.

Fortunately Jon’s a quick study in, well everything actually and Rose is no different. He looks at her body language, head down, no eye contact and fidgeting with the hem of his blanket. She has pulled the covers over herself, which until about 30 seconds ago she’d been blissfully naked and bared to him.

Right…so put that together with what she asked and the way she said it, “I want to spend every day together Rose,” he says softly, “Maybe I was not clear on my intentions earlier. Let me rectify that so there can be no further misinterpretations of them.”

He has a plan, isn’t sure he’ll actually be able to follow through with that plan as it could turn out horribly embarrassing for him, but he thinks it will work and thinks it will make her more comfortable with him, talking to him. He’s still standing off the bed in front of her in just his jeans and slippers. Rose is still playing with the blanket but she’s looking at him now, well mostly anyways; glancing may be a better word for it.

“Okay then, my intentions towards you Rose Tyler: I, Jonathon Thomas Ardis,” he points to himself, “do intend to spend every minute of whatever time I have left on this planet, or any planet really, cause you never know space travel could happen next week or next year and we,” he points to her and then to himself, “Rose Tyler would definitely be off on an adventure to a new planet, but that is for later…where was I? Intentions yes? Time…yep…I intend to spend every minute of whatever time I have left with you. Every minute you’ll allow, minus you know things like loo breaks, cause I’m weird but not that weird. That is intention A. Intention 2, would entail me doing everything I can, everything in my power to get you to see you the way I see you.”

Quicker than he’d anticipated, because he’s nervous, wants to do this for her but is still scared shitless of it, he drops his jeans and his pants in one go and steps out of them. “C) Err…3? Doesn’t matter. I intend to show you that you can trust me Rose. Trust that when I say I want to spend time with you I do. Trust that when I say I know this is right that I mean it and trust that I want you to see and know all of me. Everything I am now, because what we were before…those people we were before whatever happened to turn us into who we are now, those people are gone Rose and we will never get them back. If I had to live over what happened in my life 1000 times to ensure that we would still end up here I would do that; because Rose, I intend to make you happy and I intend to let you make me happy.”

He crawls over the bed and pulls the covers back. She’s only wearing the pants he loaned her to sleep in and he has a finger hooked into each side of them. He looks at her eyes to seek her approval for what he’s about to do. She said she’d stop him and he trusts her that she will, but she hasn’t so he starts to slowly pull them down her legs giving her time to change her mind, she doesn’t. Once she is as naked as he is, he covers her whole body with his, every available inch of her skin is pressed to his and he rests his forehead on hers and closes his eyes.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I want this with you. I want a real life. I have been alone for a very long time and I was fine with that until you. Everything about you fits me. It all makes sense when I look at you. Everything just…makes sense. Do you feel the way our bodies fit Rose? It’s like our hands, have you ever held someone’s hand and had it fit as well as ours? Everything about you fits perfectly with everything about me. Our hands, our bodies, our…issues, our pasts and I hope our futures…they fit. I want to have a life with you. Doors and windows and mortgages; maybe not mortgages won’t be necessary, but holidays and pets…do you want pets Rose? I was thinking a dog, never been one for cats myself. I want Christmases and birthdays and anniversaries, the flu and bad days and the worst days, proper life things. Things I honestly believed I could never have until yesterday when you took my hand and in that moment…that exact moment Rose I saw everything…our whole lives.”

He opens his eyes then, sees that hers were closed as well and she is crying. He’s 90% sure they are good tears…well 86%...okay, he’s 82% sure they are the tears that come from relief and happiness. He rubs his nose along the side of hers coaxing her to open her eyes and look at him. When she does he pulls back from her just enough that she can see him fully. He’s propped above her resting on his elbows, his arms curved under her back and around her shoulders holding her to him, he looks into her eyes and says, “Please Rose, please let me give that to you.”

Jon watches her eyes close again, watches the tears roll down her face, watches as she breathes in then out and he watches as she opens her eyes back to his. “Yes,” she says in a whisper.

He watches as the corners of her mouth start to turn up, watches as the tears stop and he watches her faint and so small smile turn into what he now considers the be all and end all of his existence. It’s that wide smile that takes up her whole face and makes her eyes shine like a small child who still believes in magic.

“Yeah?” he asks back in the same whispered tone.

“Yes,” she whispers again, and he kisses her.

Rose opens her mouth to him the instant she feels his lips on hers. She’s wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms holding onto his back with her hands curled around his shoulders in the same manner his are around hers. This is not like the kissing from earlier, that was sweet and soft and new. This is hard, demanding and passionate. He can feel every inch of her skin pressed against his. The electricity that he felt when they held hands is everywhere now, any place he is touching her and the contact of their skin is causing that electricity to travel through his entire body. He can feel her nipples pebbling beneath him, against him and when that whimper comes back, that noise that is released from her throat because of him, he is instantly hard.

She pulls back from the kiss to suck in oxygen and he moves his mouth to her neck, right behind and under her ear sucking hard, marking her again and she hisses at it. The noise almost makes him pause; she’ll stop, she’ll stop, shell stop plays over in his head. Her promise to him that if she’s uncomfortable with anything she’ll stop him and she doesn’t so he doesn’t stop. He’s moving down her body, teeth biting, lips kissing, hands everywhere, there is no coordination to his movements. Rose is writhing beneath him, moans and gasps leaving her throat, her hands in his hair pulling slightly and fingernails raking along his scalp.

He sees the scars on her clavicles (later, he’ll find out later) and moves on to her breasts, licking, sucking and nipping on one while squeezing and tugging on the nipple of the other. He’s moving again, kissing down her sternum to her abdomen. He sees the larger scar there that wraps around to her back (later, he’ll find out later). He places one hand on each thigh and spreads her before him. Jon’s not going to stop unless she tells him too, but as he lays himself in front of her he glances up to make sure she knows what’s about to happen. Jon’s eyes lock with hers for only a moment, but it’s long enough to see that her eyes are black and her pupils are blown wide open, wider than their make out session earlier. He can no longer distinguish her irises from her pupils and then she licks her fucking lips and any restraint he had is gone.

His mouth attaches to her clit, rolling it in his teeth. He hears a her moan from above him as he slides his fingers through her folds and gently massages them while sucking on her clit. She’s wet, sopping wet and hot and it’s because of him. That increases his hardness and he pushes himself into the mattress for just a small amount of friction, a small measure of relief from the aching and throbbing. A groan of pleasure escaping his own throat as he slides one finger inside of her repeating the motion a few times until he can tell she’s more comfortable with the sensation. She is so tight…too tight still for what he is hoping is going to happen and he adds another finger to the one currently inside of her. He pushes the tips of his finger up, moves them in a come hither motion and she fucking loses it. She is grinding herself against his face and onto his fingers, pulling his hair harder and babbling words that he can’t make out. He hears his name, “Jon” and “fuck” and “yes.”

It’s going to happen again…he’s going to cum and she hasn’t even touched him properly yet. Before he knows what’s happening her hands are out of his hair, scrabbling at his shoulders pulling him up her body and she’s kissing him, tasting herself on his lips and tongue. He thinks he may die from how turned on he is by that…until he feels her hand on his cock. Her tiny, very hot hand wrapping around his rock hard erection is a sensation he hopes he’ll never forget. As soon as he has that thought another sensation rocks through his body and takes immediate precedence. Rose Tyler has her hand on his cock and is running it through her soaking folds. Before he can make sense of what is happening he’s inside of her. She screams, actually fucking screams his name as he slides all the way into her in one swift stroke.

He’s done in now, his climax fast approaching. Jon's not even sure he’ll be able to move before it hits. He brings his hand to her clit and starts rubbing furiously as he tries to move his hips. His mouth is at her ear begging, “please, fuck Rose, please cum, please I need you to cum, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!” “FUCK!” they both shout as the wave of pleasure crashes through them at the same time.

She's not moving…not even trying to move. They are clinging to each other as she sobs through her climax and he’s grinding against her…his forehead pressed to hers and he’s lost in a brilliant white. He can’t see or hear anything…until he does.

The brightness fades, sound returns to him and it’s like a reel of home movies are playing out before him but the images are blurry. To Jon it seems like he’s walking around in his own head and this is…new. Maybe he really did die. But no, he can feel Rose beneath him, her breathing still escalated from their lovemaking. Jon knows it’s only been seconds since the climax but it feels to him like time has frozen. The images before him are becoming cleaner…crisper. Jon sees him taking her hand at H&W yesterday (was that really just yesterday?), sees them in the coffee shop and the chippy, in his room cuddled in his bed, her face as he made her cum the first time this morning (was that really just this morning?), her face when he proclaims his intentions for their future, then it’s as if a fast forward button has been hit.

Images are flying past him at ridiculous speeds but he can see them, can hear them. He and Rose looking at houses and looking at rings; Rose, her hands covering his on her swollen belly, the delivery room, coming home, nursery school, preschool and another pregnancy. It’s always…always her hand in his…marriage, grandchildren…life, his life…their life. His breathing is coming back to normal, the images fading from his mind. Jon reaches out with his hand entwining it with hers, he rolls to the side to take his weight from her and pulls her to him, he turns on his side as she is on hers and folds his body around her.

Rose has cried during sex before…every time actually, but it’s never been like this. She doesn’t even know what this was. She knows she doesn’t have a lot…or any real experience when it comes to what would be considered ‘normal’ sex, but somehow she doesn’t think this was normal. Well…maybe the sex was normal, but what happened right after or maybe during…she’s unsure, it’s all fuzzy, hazy and was definitively not ‘normal’. She’s not sure of what order things happened in. Jon was kissing her everywhere, hands everywhere, crawling down her body, _"mine, mine, mine,”_ whispered across her flesh as he moved lower and she’s not even sure he knew what he was saying.

She had been Jimmy’s property. He had said she would always be his, but what was happening with Jon…it wasn’t like that. No…he didn’t know what he was saying, she’s pretty sure, but he also wasn’t being hurtful or angry while saying it. Never once did he cause her any type of pain. As he was sliding into her…she thought if this is what being his is like…she’s okay with that. She’ll be his if he can be that possessive with her but still make her feel wanted, needed…loved. That’s what he makes her feel...loved. Not just when he’s kissing her or touching her…every time he looks and speaks to her she feels loved. After that her memory is pretty fuzzy. Its sensation, movement and then he’s in her ear begging her to cum and she does and he does and that’s when things got…not normal.

Everything is blurry, hazy light. She feels him press his forehead to hers and his breathing is labored. As her breathing calms and the blood quits rushing in her ears she hears it…him…Jon. He’s crying, shaking in her arms above her and, “I love you Rose, I love you Rose,” being choked out between sobs that are wracking his lean frame while he’s still inside of her and, “Please don’t leave me, never leave me,” interspersed between “I love you Rose.”

She holds him as tight as she can, allowing him to ride out whatever storm just crashed through his psyche. Rose knew he was broken. He told her yesterday, was very honest about it. To Rose though he seemed ‘normal’, fine, a great bloke who had his shit together and that was part of the reason she was so scared of her feelings for him. Someone as fucked up as her could never make anything work with someone who was ‘normal’.

Jon’s not normal though she gets that now. Somewhere in his past someone broke him like Jimmy broke her. It infuriates her that someone could do that to him but she pushes that away. She can’t change what happened before she met him the same as he can’t make what happened with Jimmy disappear. That is part of who they are now. Like Jon said earlier, who they were before is gone and nothing can ever bring those people back.

Rose thinks she was right, is almost certain of it. Everything they went through brought them here to each other. She was broken for him and he was broken for her in exactly the right ways, times and places. They can take all of their broken pieces; fit them neatly together to build something whole and new and right. As Jon rolls onto his side, he pulls her into his chest folding his body around hers. His sobs have stopped. The whimpering and begging are gone and she knows she will love him always, be with him always, hold his hand always. She is Rose Tyler, she is broken and she finally understands why. She was made into this Rose Tyler to be Jon’s.

Right…okay…I just had sex…with Rose. Jon is lying in his bed holding Rose in his arms and trying to piece together the chain of events that just occurred. One moment he’s trying to explain to Rose what he wants from this with her and the next moment he’s all tongue and teeth and lips and hands and skin. Then it was just bright lights and sounds and images of a life he so desperately wants. No, wants isn’t correct…needs…he needs this with Rose…needs to have that life.

He saw it, played out before him in fast forward motion, everything they could and would be for each other and he needs it now, now, now. He knows he cried, not because he can actually remember doing it, but he can feel the wetness on his face and the stuffiness in his nose. “Rose…I…” he has no idea what to say now. He knows he needs to say something he just doesn’t know what.

“Yeah…that escalated pretty quickly, but I…I’m not sorry Jon. I don’t regret it, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she says with quiet confidence.

Jon releases a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding at her words, his Rose, so brave.

“Do you?” she asks quietly. Rose knows he doesn’t regret it. She knows because of the things she’s pretty sure he doesn’t even remember saying. She believes he wouldn’t lie to her, doesn’t even think he was capable of it at the time. Lies take thought and planning; Jon was capable of neither. She also knows that he needs to hear her say it…say that what happened was okay, that she is okay.

“No, Rose…no. I don’t regret it. It happened fast though, faster than I had anticipated. I just…are you okay, are you sure?” he questions softly.

Rose is buried into his chest, he’s warm and she still feels lightly dazed, almost buzzed from her orgasm. She knows this conversation needs to happen, but she wants to let sleep pull her back down and to handle all these issues later. She just had sex for the first time in many years and she wants to enjoy that for a moment. She wants to be a normal girl with her normal boyfriend and just enjoy the moment.

“Jon,” she slurs sleepily, “I know we need to talk about this, but…just…can you just be my boyfriend and I can be your girlfriend…for right now…just be in this moment with me. What we need to talk about will still be there, it’s not going anywhere, so does it have to be right this second?”

Relief floods him at her words. Still his girlfriend then, he didn’t fuck this up, yet. Jon looks to her and says, “Of course, I just …”

“I know,” Rose says interrupting him, “I’m okay and you’re okay so how about a nap, then a shower, then some food, then I need to go back to my place.” She feels his entire body tense and his arms tighten around her when she says that. Rose smiles into his chest and says, “For some clothes. We have a party to attend tonight remember? All of our very well meaning and lovely friends putting us on display for their viewing pleasure. Oh look at those two fucked up broken humans. Aren’t they just adorable? If we primp and polish them up maybe rub some of the tarnish off, they’ll be almost good as new,” she says in a mocking voice.

“Yeah, no, I didn’t remember actually,” he sighs out, “Okay nap; yep sounds good.” He snuggles in as close as he can, lays a kiss on her head and says, “Rose Tyler, you’re my girlfriend.”

That is the last thing she hears before sleep drags her under. Jon however does not sleep. His mind is racing with everything that has happened in the last day, just a day, one day, 24 hours. He thinks he should be freaking out. He should be running as far and as fast as he can from this whole situation, but for the first time in such a long time, he doesn’t want to run. Well, he thinks that’s not really true is it? He does want to run. He just wants Rose to run with him now, _“Better with two? Better with you.”_

Briefly, he thinks of waking her, asking her do to just that. Run away with me, marry me, leave here and be us somewhere new but he can’t do that to her. She has a life here, friends and a job. Well, she doesn’t have to work, neither of them does. Jon thinks of mentioning that. He thinks of asking her to live with him, marry him, just stay forever and fuck her flat and everything in it. He’s enough money that she’ll never need to worry or want for anything, but he knows her well enough already that she wouldn’t like that. She’s too strong, wants to take care of herself, doesn’t want to ask for anything and he thinks even if he offered, she’d tell him it’s too soon.

Jon doesn’t think so though. It’s not too soon, for him it’s not soon enough. He has only 50 maybe if he’s really lucky 60 years left to spend with her and it’s not enough time. He has wasted so much time already waiting for her. Rage flares through him again at Jack keeping Rose from him for 3 years! 3 bloody years that he cannot get back with her. That time is gone now. He could have been married to her, they could be expecting a baby by now, have a home, a life, a proper fucking life and Jack kept that from him…kept her from him. No, Jack did what he thought was best for Rose and Jon cannot be angry at that…well…he can, but he’s trying really hard not to be.

Jack was protecting her and he understands that now. Lying here with her in his arms, he understands why Jack did that. It still pisses him off, but more at the situation than Jack himself. This whole thing is confusing for him. He wants to be angry that he didn’t find her sooner, but at the same time he hears Rose’s words from earlier in his head, _“What if I was always meant to be this? What if everything that happened to me...or to you was for this right here? To make me who I was always meant to be…for you…for this; because…and I know it’s crazy as I stated earlier, but when you look at me…when you…when we…touch…it’s…different.”_

She’s right, he knows she’s right and the anger starts slowly ebbing from his body. Ativan, Xanax, Prozac, she’s better than any pill he’s ever been given. Maybe it would have worked if they met earlier but they didn’t. Just like he cannot erase Davros or what happened to River from his life, he cannot go back and change hers either; but now is a different story. He has her now and he’ll not be letting her go…unless she wants of course…but he doesn’t think she does or will. He doesn’t think what he saw was a dream; he was awake after all, more like a vision maybe? Doesn’t matter. He knows now with 100% clarity, knows what his future with Rose will be, maybe not every second but the outcome. It’s going to be fantastic is his last thought as sleep finally pulls him into darkness.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech in Italics is remembered conversations.

BZZZ…BZZZ…BZZZ. Something is buzzing and vibrating against his leg. It’s very annoying and is interrupting his sleep. Why is he asleep? It’s really bright in his room so it must be late. Sex. Sex with Rose! She’s naked; pressed against him naked and he had sex with her. All the memories of that morning come rushing to him as he’s digging around for what he assumes is a phone in the bed. Yep, it’s a phone. Rose’s phone, right she had been holding it when he came in with breakfast and then sex. He had sex, sex with Rose. Shaking his head to clear the lust addled memories he gently tries to wake the very beautiful and very naked woman lying next to him. He sets the phone on the bedside table and moves her hair from her neck.

Jon stretches his long frame behind her, starts placing small gentle kisses on her neck right below her ear; right there on that same spot he marked her earlier. Marked, she is his now; sex, life, their life. He’s becoming lost in fantasy again, his gentle kissing becoming less gentle, more insistent. He feels her waking, tensing, relaxing, “Jon,” whispered from her lips. He’s pulling her leg over his hip, sliding his cock through her soaking wet folds and into her again.

Never, he thinks he’ll never get enough of her now. He’ll always need to touch her, feel her. Jon’s movements begin to speed up, her hand grasping his hair while his mouth is still attached to her neck and it’s just fucking perfect, she is fucking perfect. “Perfect,” he’s whispers against her skin. Her quiet breathy noises becoming less quiet, less breathy, more gasping and needy. “You’re so beautiful Rose, so perfect, you feel so good,” he moans out as he feels it. Her body goes rigid, muscles clamp down around him, she’s pushing against him with every thrust he makes and he’s lost again. His climax rushes through him in electricity and light and sound and heat and wet and Rose and then he’s coming down, back to reality. He laughs just a little he can’t help it. The realization that his reality is just as fucking wonderful as the fantasy, but it’s not a fantasy, she’s really here and this is really happening.

She hears him laugh, just a little behind her as her high is wearing down and her respiration is returning to normal. There is a second of fear…just a second when he laughs that he’s laughing at her, at this, but it’s only for a second. She knows why he’s laughing. Rose can feel it too. This whole morning has been an incredibly emotional roller-coaster ride. Deep thoughts, conversation and sex… she laughs a little as well. He turns her onto her back, smiles down at her and says, “Good Morning Rose,” kissing her, small and sweet and light and…perfect. Her smile widens to match his.

“Mmm…yes, Good morning. I think…maybe a shower and some food. What time is it?” she asks.

He reaches behind him grabbing her phone where he dropped it earlier and hands it to her. “It was left in the bed and buzzing me,” he says rolling out of the bed.

“10: 00 am, that’s all, It feels like it should be later yeah? Like the whole day should be gone,” she states.

“It really does,” he says back, “So, shower, food and then…uh…I’ll drive you over to your place to pick up clean clothes and what not yeah?”

Drive her…he wants to drive her to her flat. She doesn’t want him there, doesn’t want him to see how she lives. Rose knows she shouldn’t be embarrassed. She works hard at her job and she takes no handouts to make it, but still she doesn’t want him to see where she lives. Her flat is terrible, even council estates are in better shape than her flat, but no…she said she wasn’t going to hide anything from him and she doesn’t want too.

“Yeah okay…um…shower…then my flat and we can grab something to eat while we’re out. It was Amy who called. She probably wants to meet up before the party, you know all the primping and polishing and what not. Do you…are you…uh…supposed to meet with Jack or Donna before?” Rose asks. Donna…she needs to tell him about Donna before the party. Now, she needs to do it now. Talking about that time is very difficult for her. If she doesn’t do it now she may never and that’s not right. He needs to know, it’s also not fair to Donna. She has known Jon their whole lives. It would be wrong for Rose to make her keep secrets from him about his...girlfriend and she smiles at that.

Jon sees her eyes glaze over after she asks, off in thought again. God but she is gorgeous. He’s just about to answer her question, bring her out of her thoughts and back to him when she says quite suddenly, “I know Donna. Not from H&W. I’ve known her for a while now…well maybe known is not the right word. I met her…a long time ago now. She may not remember me, but…I think…I think she does and I don’t want her to have to keep that secret from you now that we’re…together.”

Jon is stunned by this information. How, where, what? Why hadn’t Donna told him? He’d just spoken to her about Rose and she’d said nothing. “Uh, okay. How do you know Donna?” he asks. He sees her release the breath she’d been holding. She’d thought he’d be angry with her. He hates that; hates that it is her first thought when she says something, that he or whomever she is talking with will be angry.

“Earlier I said there were things we needed to talk about, conversations that needed to happen, but then…well…things um…happened,” she says smiling at him. It's that smile that turns his insides into jelly. Her tongue is poking out and that look combined with the very recent memory of exactly what things happened, yep he’s getting hard again.

He needs to get some control over that he thinks as he grabs his robe off the floor and covers himself. “Uh, Rose, do you think maybe…um” he says, handing her one of his button downs to put on because if she keeps looking at him like that…naked…he’ll have her again. Already he feels it’s a losing battle, one he doesn’t really want to win anyway, but she’s trying to tell him something. He thinks it’s going to be important and as much as he wants to crawl back into bed and continue making love to her all day; he can’t, so she needs to cover up.

Rose stands, takes the button down from him and slides into it. She needs to tell him now, before she loses her nerve. “Right, okay, how do I know Donna? 5 years ago I was in a rehabilitation facility and Donna was volunteering there. She was in everyday and really…she…she was a great friend when I was there and she helped me so much. There’s uh…there’s a confidentiality contact that she had to sign to work there, you know um…peoples medical information and stuff that she had access to, so…they made her sign this paper saying that she wouldn’t discuss or divulge any information about the patients and that if she saw any of us outside the facility she’s not allowed to acknowledge it…us, unless we make first contact,” she says. The words rushing out of her mouth in one long breath and he can tell she’s starting to panic just a little…okay maybe more than a little.

He notices she doesn’t explain why she was in the facility, but again he’s a genius. With the information he’s cobbled together of her past, the scars on her body and the way she tries so hard not to behave like a beaten dog, he can put it together. “Okay,” he says simply as if it doesn’t matter, because it doesn’t, not really. It’s not like they’ve been dating forever and she kept this from him on purpose. It’s only been 24 hours and in the grand scheme of things it’s really not a bother. He understands confidentiality clauses after all.

“Really? Just…just like that?” she asks quietly.

“Rose, it’s not as if you’ve had time to tell me everything that’s ever happened to you just as I haven’t told you everything. You will, I will and eventually we’ll get around to knowing everything. You and Donna were not conspiring to keep some great hidden truth from me. You were in hospital before you ever met me and Donna worked there. I understand confidentiality clauses and have signed many myself. So yea, okay. Okay?” he says.

Before he knows what’s happened he has an armful of giggling Rose. He’ll not be complaining about that. “Yeah…okay,” she says grinning; he can feel it against the skin of his neck where her face is pressing. “Thank you,” she says.

“For what?” he asks, wrapping his arms tighter around her. He knows why she’s thanking him and he will never allow that to happen to her again. No one will ever make her feel that way again.

“For not being…well for not getting mad I guess,” she says.

“Firstly, you have done nothing for me to be upset about Rose. You’ve done nothing wrong, also, as I said…time. It’s going to take time to discover every little thing about each other. We have that now and I intend to find out everything about you Rose,” he says placing a kiss on the top of her head, “Shower?”

“Yep,” she says joyfully.

“Great you go do that and I’ll bring coffee,” he says releasing her and heading for the bedroom door as she makes her way to the en suite. He puts coffee on to brew and heads to the loo in the hall for his own shower.

As Jon sets down the coffee he brought in for Rose he thinks he may need to invest in a larger water heater. She’s been in there forever. He is showered, shaved, dressed, even his hair is done and she’s still in there. He realizes that is quite a bit of time, starts to worry if she’s okay, walks over and knocks on the door. “Rose? Everything okay in there, you’ve been in there almost an hour,” he says through the door. He hears the water turn off and the glass door slide open.

“Sorry, be right out,” she responds.

Now he feels bad. He didn’t mean for her to get out, it’s just an hour is a long time in a shower. Well okay, an hour was just too long for him to go without seeing her. The panic that she’d left was starting to set in as scenarios of her climbing out windows and leaving the shower on as cover for her disappearance ran through his mind with every minute that she hadn’t come out. He knows that’s crazy, but he’s a little crazy. That’s part of his shit and rather than try to fight or deny it, he’s going to reassure himself with her constant presence; as much as she will allow at any rate. He’ll have to tell her about that and soon or she will think he’s a psycho for not wanting her out of his sight. He thinks her ex was probably like that, different reasons but still…Jon doesn’t want to scare her and he’s pretty sure if he can make it through an explanation of why he needs the reassurance she’ll be okay with it.

She steps out of the en suite wearing his button down, her hair wrapped in a towel and her face completely free of makeup. “Sorry,” she stammers out, “It’s just…your shower it’s pretty ridiculous yeah?” He thinks she’s talking, can see her mouth moving, but she walked out in **his** shirt, into **his** room, from **his** shower and she’s completely bare of makeup and she’s…she’s…he has no air. She walked out and all the air in the room left and he can’t breathe and he can see the mark on her neck just above the collar of **his** shirt and he can’t fucking breathe!

Rose looks at Jon, sees he’s not taking in oxygen, his hand is covering his heart and she rushes over to him thinking something must be wrong (maybe he does have a medical condition?). She places her hand over his and says, “Jon? Jon what’s wrong? Jon you need to breathe!” The instant her hand touches him his autonomic functions start working again. Oxygen, his lungs take in much needed oxygen, his heart rate is slowing back down and the blood that was rushing through his veins slows. “Are you okay? What happened?” she asks worried. He needs to fix that he doesn’t want to scare her.

“No I, I’m fine really, just…Rose you are so unbelievably, insanely gorgeous and I…I just…I don’t know what happened really. I think it just…everything just crashed in one me at once when I saw you…and I…I’m too far gone already,” he stutters out.

Rose has never thought of herself as pretty. Her lips are too wide and her hair has been bleached to death. She’s not got the tall, skinny frame that men seem to favor. She has wider hips and she’s short, she rather thinks she look like a hobbit actually. She doesn’t think Jimmy was ever really attracted to her physically, more like she was a new toy that he’d grown tired of…no…more like when a kid gets a new puppy but then the puppy gets older and the kid loses interest unless the puppy needs punished…yeah that’s more accurate she thinks. She wishes she could see what Jon sees when he looks at her, but she’ll just be happy that he can see it.

She smiles at him, huge and beaming and teeth and lips and eyes doing that magic sparkling, twinkling thing they do when he says something unexpected but wonderful. Rose looks at him like he has just handed her the universe and his breath is gone again. This wonderful girl in front of him stealing it unexpectedly and he has to kiss her rightfuckingnow! Before he can act, she’s already pressing her lips to his, swiping her tongue across his lips and he’s breathing again. She pulls back still smiling, holding out her hand to him. Jon entwines their fingers and smiles back.

“So we’ll head to my flat. I’ll run in, grab some clean clothes. Then I need to head over to Amy’s and I think you’re supposed to meet up with Jack and Donna before the party tonight yeah?” she says as they make their way to the door. He stops, frozen in place and looks at her. She turns to see what made him stop and the look on his face it’s just…well…adorable really she thinks.

“Do we have to?” He knows he’s whining, he may even be pouting just a bit, but he doesn’t want her to go to Amy’s and he doesn’t want to go see Jack and Donna. He wants to get her stuff and come straight back her and continue hiding in his room with her, away from everything else. He knows he’s going to have to get a grip on that but it’s only been a day, just one day, he’s not had enough time with her yet.

Rose smiles, a small laugh spilling forth as she takes in his appearance and the whine in his voice. “No, we don’t have to go, but I am and it would be nice if you were there to help with the interrogation that our lovely and well meaning friends are going to put me through. It could be fun and I’d…” she hesitates, “I’d really like to let Donna know that I told you. It can’t have been easy for her knowing that stuff about me and not being able to tell you, ya know? Also, they set this whole thing up for us and it would be rude not to go.”

“I am rude. They’re used to that,” he says back still just a little whiny.

“Right. Well like I said, you of course do not have to go Jon but I am and if you don’t want to that’s fine too. You can just pick me after or I could take the bus back to my flat...”

“NO!” he says loudly, interrupting her.

Rose has a shocked look on her face and she takes a step back at his overly loud response. She doesn’t drop his hand or step completely away from him, but he can tell by the look on her face and the way her body went tense that he’s startled her or at the bare minimum worried her. He needs to explain what his issue is right now before it becomes a real issue and he’s in too far to explain it properly. Right, awkward moment; acknowledge, explain, accept and move on, that’s what she said.

Okay then, “This is awkward, and I’ll try and explain alright?” he says. Jon sees the recognition in her eyes.

“Okay,” she replies softly.

 She’s smiling again, that’s good, that’s very, very good he thinks. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Okay, I …I’m…” he stutters and can't find his words.

“It’s okay Jon, whatever it is. We just need to tell each other yeah? So we can…I don’t know fix it or just accept it or whatever. We just need to be able to say it,” she says reassuringly.

His Rose, saying the right thing again. Moving him forward when he freezes again. He wishes she could see how brave she really is. “I’mnotreadyforyoutogo,” he rushes out and she looks confused at his statement.

“I’m not going…we’re leaving. Aren’t you taking me to my flat and Amy’s or did you want…”

“No!” he says interrupting her again, “I’m not ready for you to go at all…anywhere I’m…not.”

Rose can see he’s trying but he’s just not able to get out what he wants to say, so she’s going to have to parse his words to decipher the meaning. “Um…well…okay. I can call Amy and tell her that I’ll not be coming over before the party and can come with you to see Jack and Donna?” she asks. Jon can see she’s still confused, but she’s trying to figure it out because he’s too fucking messed up to just say it.

“Yes,” he sighs in relief, “Yes, I…I like that plan much better, thank you.”

The look of relief on his face when she suggests begging off from Amy’s is worrying. She doesn’t understand where all the anxiety came from all of the sudden. She could feel it coming off of him. The panic, fear and anxiety…it’s like being sucked under a tidal wave. “Yeah, okay just let me call her real quick,” she says pulling her hand from his to make the call. He clamps down tighter as she tries to withdraw. She looks up to him in askance and he loosens his grip. She doesn’t release his hand though, just uses her other to grab her phone and make the call.

“Rose!” Amy chirps into the phone after the third ring, “What’s up, you on your way? I wasn’t expecting you for at least an hour or two.”

“Uh…no. I’m not on my way. Um…Amy would you be terribly upset if I begged off the hair and playing dress up for tonight? Some things have…come up,” Rose asks while eying Jon and seeing his posture relax some after her questions out.

“Sure, no worries. Is everything alright?” Amy asks.

“Yeah…yeah, everything’s,” Rose looks back at Jon and smiles, “perfect. Everything’s just…perfect Amy.”

“Okay then, if you’re sure, I’ll see you tonight at the party. 7pm, don’t be late, bye,” Amy says.

“Um…do you maybe want to tell me what just happened here? You were fine and then…well you weren’t,” Rose says to Jon.

He looks at her face and her body language. She’s not angry or even upset. She still looks a little confused but not angry with him. “I…I’m…Rose, I am not ready to be where you are not. I don’t know why, normally I am very good with being alone…but I’m just…when you said that you wanted to go to Amy’s while I was with Jack and Donna and then you said you were going back to your flat tonight and I panicked and I’m sorry but I’m just not…ready,” he blurts out in a rush of words and panicked voice.

Rose takes a moment to go through what he said. She thinks she gets what he’s trying to say and really as far as issues go having a boyfriend who wants to spend his time with you…pretty manageable issue. “Okay…so I won’t go yeah? I already called and begged off. I’d rather spend the time with you anyways,” she grins up at him.

“Rose Tyler, always with the right words. You are brilliant. My brilliant girlfriend,” he kisses her and quietly says, “Thank you, for understanding.”

“I don’t though. Understand, I mean. But you will explain it in a way so I can,” she tells his softly.

“Yes, I will try and explain it better,” Jon says nodding his head.

“Great, then let’s move on for now and head to my flat. I need to get some clothes. I’m fairly certain that I cannot stay in your button up and boxers forever,” she smiles at him.

He wants her to always look like she does in this moment; beautiful, happy, perfect and his. “And I’m really hungry. Fish and chips for lunch?” she asks.

Jon smiles, nods his agreement and a small happy noise escapes his throat. Rose thinks that is her favorite sound, that little noise he makes in the back of his throat when she’s made him happy. She wants him to always make that sound. Jon pulls her out the door to the lift, down to the street and walks up to his car. A car that likely cost more money than Rose makes in a year.

She has no idea what kind of car it is. All of the branding had either been removed or he had it custom designed that way before he bought it. She thinks it’s the probably latter. If he could afford such a nice car then he could afford to customize it when he bought it. It’s nice though, sporty and sleek, the same dark blue as the walls of his room. She’s going to have to get a grip on her money issues. Jon has money, a lot of money from the looks of things and she’s not used to that. Again though, as far as issues go, this is manageable (she hopes). He unlocks the door, opens it so she can get in and she hesitates for a moment, long enough he picks up on it, but he sees her square her shoulders and shake off whatever caused the momentary hesitation. She gets in the car; he closes the door and comes around the other side to get in.

Jon starts the car and looks over at Rose expectantly. “Oh right…uh…you’ll be needing the address,” she mumbles.

He knows something is bothering her. It could be his behavior up in his flat, but he doesn’t think so. She seemed fine on the way down here. He takes in her body language again. It’s so easy for him to read her already. Head down, hair covering her face, fingers worrying the hem of his shirt and her words are mumbled as she gives him the address. She’s worried about something but it’s more than that, she’s ashamed. Yep, that’s what that look is but why? As he’s driving down the road the silence is less than comfortable. He’s trying to go over the events from the flat to the car and figure out what changed and why it changed so quickly, but he’s got nothing. He pulls up to the address she gave him after about 10 minutes of complete silence and when he looks to see the area around them he thinks he understands her demeanor.

“Jon…I,” she stops, takes off her seat belt, turns to face him and sets her phone in the catch all on the dash. He sees her take a deep breath in, deep breath out; a move he has not only come accustomed to over the last day but has also taken on himself when something is hard to say, so he braces himself for something awful and stays silent.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I want you to stay in the car please. I don’t,” she stops. Her face is down, shoulders rounded and hands worrying the hem of his shirt again. Her confidence comes and goes so rapidly he feels as though he may have whiplash trying to keep up. He’s figured it out already she doesn’t need to say it. Rose Tyler, estate trash with no education, low level job and income living in what may be the worst part of Cardiff. “I don’t want you coming to the flat…seeing…my flat okay?” she says timidly. He wants to tell her that where she lives is no bother to him but he knows it isn’t about him being uncomfortable. He’d not missed her placing her phone on the dash and her purse on the floor, a way to let him know that she would be back. She’s figured that out then.

As Jon looks around the area he thinks No, not okay. He doesn’t want her here at all, much less alone and wearing only his pants and shirt. He can’t say that though, that would only add insult to injury for her, so he just nods his head, gives her a smile and says, “Yeah, okay. I’ll be right here.”

She gives him a weak smile and steps out of the car heading into the building refusing to look back. She doesn’t really think that Jon would leave just because of where she lives, but leaving her phone and purse in the car was for her reassurance just as much as his. God, we are so fucked up. How are we ever going to make this work, she thinks as she enters the hall to her flat.

The first thing she notices is her door just barely open (that’s not right). Rose slowly pushes on her door, but something is preventing it from opening all the way. She pushes harder trying to dislodge whatever is blocking the door. It finally gives as the door swings open and she almost falls through. Her flat is destroyed. Cushions pulled from the couch, her books shredded and thrown about the room, every drawer gone through…Shit! Rose runs to her bedroom and yep…destroyed as well. She walks over to the small space beside her bed and checks the loose board in the wall. It’s gone, her money, it’s all gone. Just as Rose sits on her bed she hears someone in the flat and freezes. It could be the person who broke in or it could be a neighbor looking to pick through whatever the thief didn’t take. It’s neither, as her bedroom door gets pushed fully open, standing there is her landlord. Short, fat, grease-stained shirt, even worse greasy hair and looking at her like his midday meal.

“I came by to fix that list of shit you gave me,” he says leering at her from the doorway.

This whole situation is very bad Rose thinks. She’s left her phone in the car, asked Jon not to come in with her and now she’s sitting in her ruined flat with this disgusting man looking at her like he knows she has no options. “Now might not be the best time but…uh…thanks for coming by. I’ll um…let you know when I get everything picked up though and you can come back then,” she says trying to come off confident. She can hear the tremor in her own voice and can feel her hands shaking though. She thinks he can see it too. Men like him can smell fear and weakness and the way he’s looking at her now; she knows that look. He starts to walk towards her and she pushes herself as far into the wall as it allows, which being a wall isn’t much.

Rose knows what’s coming, had lived through years of this with Jimmy and tears start streaming down her face. She thinks of Jon. She was so happy before coming back here. Now after only one day the universe had deemed her unworthy to keep that happiness and why wouldn’t it? This is who Rose Tyler really is. She got to play pretend for a day but now it’s back to her real life and this man closing in on her now, he knows how she really deserves to be treated. She thinks briefly of trying to fight him off and escaping, warring with herself internally if it would be better or worse after if she tried to fight…if she makes it through the attack that is. He pushes himself onto Rose and presses her harder into the wall.

He doesn’t say anything right away. He doesn’t need to. She’s trapped and scared and he knows that. “Now,” he places his hand on her breast above her shirt and squeezes hard, “If ya don’t yell and scream, not that it would matter here mind, but if you stay quiet then maybe I won’t break you’re whore neck when I’m done with ya and,” he grabs a fistful of her hair and turns her face up his forcefully, “Jimmy says hello Rose.”

Jon is trying to wait patiently in the car like she asked, but…well…it’s not working. 3 minutes after she left he was standing and pacing along the side of the car (wrong, wrong, wrong running through his head). 5 minutes after she left he was standing in front of the building (wrong, wrong, wrong). 7 minutes after she left he was in her hall pacing (WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!). By the time 10 minutes had gone by he was walking the hall trying to determine which flat was hers because something is wrong, he can feel it. She’s scared and something is fucking WRONG! It didn’t take him long to find as the door was wide open and he recognized one of the coats on the floor as belonging to Rose. He’d noticed her wear it to work more than once. Jon steps further into the flat, seeing it’s in shambles and immediately starts looking around for Rose. The flat is tiny. It only takes one look to see she’s not out in the main room so he heads down the hallway. He hears it then, a man talking, “Jimmy Stones says hello Rose.” Not good, NOT GOOD, he thinks rushing into the room.

It takes a few seconds for his brain to process the scene before him. Room trashed, Rose crying, pinned against the wall by some fat slob who’s groping and pawing at her. It takes less time for the rage to hit him. It’s instant and white hot, searing through his entire body. Overwhelming possessiveness floods him, almost forcing any coherency from his thought processes. Jon going to kill this man, rip his fucking throat from him and break every bone in his fat greasy…He hears Rose whimper as she’s trying to be quiet, looks up to see her tears non-stop streaming down her face and her eyes closed tightly, mouth shut and breathing through her nose. The image is enough to rein him back in…well…enough that he won’t kill this man in front of her at any rate.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Right mate, this is what’s going to happen here,” the man’s head turns to see who’s interrupted him and Rose’s eyes snap open at his voice, “You are going to let Miss Tyler go and I’d be doing that right now. Once she’s safely out of this building we are going to have a conversation on the proper way to treat a lady,” Jon says glaring, trying to remain calm. Calm enough he doesn’t snap the bastards’ neck in front of Rose at least.

The man’s hand moves from Rose’s breast to her throat and a squeak escapes from her as he applies pressure. “First, I ain't your mate arsehole, second Jimmy gave me rights to his whore if I found her cash, which I did,” he flashes a filthy grin at Rose, “and third I’ll be doin’ whatever the fuck I want in my building and I suggest you move yourself right along. Pretty little boy like you might find he’s not suited for this kind of trouble,” he laughs at Jon.

It’s quick, he’s quick...Rose has never seen someone move so fast. In fact she’s not even sure she saw him move at all. One moment Jon’s standing in the doorway of her shattered bedroom, the next he’s got a hold of the man by his neck and hair and is throwing…as in picking up off the ground and throwing him...like the man weighs nothing into the far wall. Jon looks to her and says, “Rose, I need you to go back to the car,” handing her the keys.

He’s trying to keep his voice even, his temper in check, he doesn’t want Rose to see what he can become if he has too. He doesn’t ever want to have to let that part of him out again. The image of this man pressed against **his** Rose crying is cycling through his head, mashing with images of Davros on top of River crying and it’s all becoming too much. Rose needs to leave now or she’s going to see and she can’t because that would ruin everything for them. “Rose, LEAVE NOW please,” Jon states again more harshly.

She doesn’t hesitate any longer, grabs the keys and runs full tilt out of the flat, down the stairs and into the car, which she locks as soon as she gets the door closed. She’s not sure what’s going to happen in the flat, doesn’t really care, she just wants to leave and for this to be over. She has a moment’s thought to go back up and get Jon, make sure he’s not been hurt, but she can’t seem to move, she’s just…frozen.

Jon walks back over to the man, pulls him off the floor and pushes him into the wall. “I will tell you this one time and that is it. Rose is **mine** ,” he snarls, his eyes flashing gold. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply several times trying to get himself under control. He can feel it starting, the rush of power surging through his blood and muscle. He can smell the fear on the man in front of him and he takes another deep breath; pushes down the intense need to rip this mans throat from his body. “How much cash did you take from her?” he hisses at the man.

“$7000.00,” he chokes out.

“Right, you can consider that payment for anything that she may owe up to this point. I will have someone here within the hour to remove whatever you did not destroy and you are **never** to look upon her again. Have I made myself clear?” Jon snaps at him, his eyes flashing gold once again.

“Yes,” he hisses as Jon applies more pressure to his throat, “but it ain't me you need be worryin’ bout’. That girl is Jimmy’s whore and he’ll not be pleased you takin’ his property.”

Jon presses harder on the man’s throat removing any option of taking in air and brings his knee up as forcefully as possible into his groin. “Rose is no one’s property and she is certainly no whore! If you continue to speak of **my** Rose in such a way, I will be forced to remove your ability to speak permanently. As for Mr. Stones, please send my regards and let him know,” he reaches down with his other hand grabbing the man’s balls, applies as much pressure as he can, just short of rupturing them, “If he so much as thinks of her again, I will see to it that he doesn’t make it to his next wet dream.” Jon resists the urge to break this man’s neck and just be done with it. He tells himself over and over in his head that’s not who he is; this is not who he is, not anymore and he lets the man fall to the floor in a heap.

As Jon makes his way out of the flat he tries calming himself down. He cannot let Rose see him in this state…ever. He has a much better idea of what her past consists of now and seeing him like this…after everything she had been through and after today…no he can’t have that. She can’t know this part of him. (Deep breath in, deep Breath out) Jon reaches into his pocket for his phone. Jack answers on the second ring “Jon, I’m in a meeting right…”

“Jack just shut your bloody gob and listen,” Jon interrupts.

Jack knows that tone, remembers hearing it so many years ago and is instantly alert. Jon hears Jack on the other end, “If you’ll excuse me, I have to take this,” he hears Jack moving as he says, “Jon? What the hell’s going on?”

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I took Rose by her flat to get some things and she was attacked. You will stop whatever you are doing and get a team of movers to the flat. I want everything removed in the next hour. Have them take it to one of the storage units in the basement. You will not ask any questions as I do not have time at this moment to answer but I will explain everything later, I need to check on Rose. Have I made myself clear?” he states as calmly as he can.

“Crystal,” Jack responds then asks, “Jon, what do you want me to do if the guys still there?”

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll be there for a good while yet. He has a message to pass along to Mr. Stones however, so whatever you do you cannot remove his ability to speak, shame that,” Jon says tersely.

“OK, I’m on my way. I’ll call the movers as soon as we’re done here,” Jack says. Nothing, no response from Jon, he’s hung up again. “GRRR, I fucking hate when he does that!” Jack growls and starts heading for the door already on the phone with the movers.

Jon stands just inside the doors that leave the building. He places both hands on the wall and leans against it, closes his eyes, tries to regulate his breathing and his temper. Rose is on the other side of the doors and he needs to calm down before he sees her. It takes several minutes for the blood to quit racing and for the adrenaline to dissipate enough that he can think calmly again. He straightens his lanky form, shakes his entire body in an attempt to regain more composure and grabs the handles of the doors to step outside. His eyes instantly search out his car and he can see Rose sitting in the passenger seat, still crying.

10 minutes. It has been 10 minutes since she ran from the flat and left Jon behind to deal with her mess. Rose wanted to go back for him but she couldn’t move, can barely breathe. What if her landlord hurt him or killed him. If he’s a messenger for Jimmy…No…she saw Jon throw him like he was nothing. She doesn’t remember much because everything happened so fast once he was there and she doesn’t think he would have stayed behind if he couldn’t handle himself. He’s fine…he’s fine…he’s fine, she tells herself over and over; the words repeated out loud like a prayer until she sees him come through the doors. She’s breathing again, opening the car door and running to him before the thought even occurs to leave the car.

Jon sees her leave the car and he wishes she wouldn’t. He just wants to leave before the small amount of control he’s gained flees from him and he heads back upstairs to send a more personal message to this Jimmy Stones fucker. He sees her running towards him and hastens his steps. She’s there in his arms, safe and clutching at him, running her hands all over him, she’s looking for injuries he realizes. Jon grabs her hands to get her attention and she looks up at him. Her eyes are puffy and red from crying and her lip is slightly swollen from where she had been worrying it, but she seems to be okay and he releases her hands and places both of his on her face and guides her eyes to his.

He needs to know that she is okay and he’ll not be having this no eye contact shit right now so he forces her eyes to meet his and says, “Rose, are you alright?”

He’s searching her face for any small amount of deceit as she says, “I’m alright. I’m always alright.”

She’s being honest. There is no sign or even a hint at lying as she says it. He thinks that’s worse; thinks he may be sick at the thought of her going through that and actually being alright. Jon is instantly enraged that this has been so common an occurrence in her life as to be considered normal. He wants to scream and rage and hit and hurt, but instead he wraps Rose in his arms and holds her to him tightly. “Let’s go, we can talk it out at the flat,” he tells her as he starts heading back to the car.

The reference to **his** flat as **the** flat did not go unnoticed by Rose. She knows she can’t go back to her flat but she can’t just stay at Jon’s either. She doesn’t think he’d mind, believes he’s likely already made that decision and a memory of this morning flutters through her head, _“mine, mine, mine”._ It’s too soon for her to stay with him permanently; everything has already happened so quickly. Moving in after one day…after what just happened…no. She doesn’t want to fuck this up. If she was to stay at his flat this soon, she can’t imagine that would work out. Well…she can actually, but making that kind of decision while high on emotion and adrenaline is a **bad** idea. Amy…she can stay with Amy.

When the thought of staying with Amy comes her, Rose is pissed. She’s not scared anymore she is Fucking Livid! She has never asked anyone for anything since that night with Jimmy. She had made it on her own, no handouts and no help. Jimmy was her mistake and she had to be responsible for fixing the outcome of that mistake. Now she’s pulled Jon into her mess of a fucking life and endangered him as well. Her anger is quickly turning into guilt and shame. She should never have started this with him, should never have taken his hand and should never have even spoken to him. He’s too good for her, way too good for her and now because she didn’t listen to Jimmy…again…it’s not just her that’s going to be hurt. Jimmy has no mercy. He told her she was his, always; she didn’t listen and now…now he’s going to kill her and very likely Jon.

“Stop,” she demands, “Jon, stop the car now.” She needs to get away from him, from everyone, she can’t drag Amy into this and she needs to go…now.

Jon is watching Rose from the drivers’ seat. Neither has said a word since getting into the car and he can see her cycling through emotions. Fear, anger, shame and guilt all play out on her face as he watches her intently. The last one though, the last emotion he sees on her face scares him because he knows that look so well. Determination; she’s made a decision and he knows what that decision is, she’s going to run. As soon as he puts that together he hears her, “Stop. Jon, stop the car now.”

No time, he has no bloody time between him figuring out her next move and her telling him to stop the car to think of anything to keep her from running. “No,” he says in a very flat voice. He’s trying to keep his emotions in check. She’ll not be leaving him now that he’s found her, he won’t recover from that and he refuses…flat out fucking refuses to allow either of them to go back to what their lives were before yesterday.

“What?” Rose asks. She’s thrown off her game, wasn’t expecting him to tell her no. “R...Jon…you need to let me out of the car. I need to get away from you and everyone else. You…you don’t know Jimmy. This…this was a mistake. I should never have left with you yesterday. I can’t…I can’t do this…with you Jon and I’m sorry but you need to stop right now and let me out…please,” she says pleadingly.

She’s crying again, almost begging for him to stop, her demanding tone has gone and he can see she’s barely holding on at this point. So brave…his Rose. She has no idea how strong she truly is. No clue at how most women would have shattered and broken at only a fraction of what she has lived through.

“Rose, just listen for a second okay? I know you want to run and we can discuss the merits of that back at the flat but he’s still in prison yeah? That’s where this Jimmy guy is right? Prison? So he’ll not be coming after you today,” he tells her in a very matter of fact tone. What he says next is a lie, but it’s a necessary one, “I know I cannot stop you from running (lie).” He can in fact stop her, doesn’t want to have to go about it in that manner but…to keep her safe he will. Jon knows now...after today he’ll not allow anyone to take her from him…including herself; not when she’s not thinking properly anyway. “But we need to talk this through before you do anything. Please…just…let’s talk first alright?” he asks.

He’s trying to remain calm and from the outside he thinks he’s doing well, but internally he’s a wreck. She’s going to leave him. He just found her and some worthless Jack-off in prison from her past is going to take her away, make her run from him; Jon’s in full panic mode inside. He thinks if he loses her now, after what happened between them, after he saw what his life could be with her in it…NO…he can’t go back to his life two days ago. Can’t she see that? He knows she feels it too, so why can’t she see that he can’t go back? It’s not that he wants to be with her, he’s so far past that now. Jon glances over at her; he sees the mark he left earlier that morning on her neck and possessiveness rips through him again. She is **HIS** and he is **HERS** and no slack-jawed wanna be thug piece of shit is taking her from him, not unless he can pry her away from Jon’s dead fucking hands.

“Jon,” she starts to say.

“No. Just…NO Rose. This is not happening (Deep breath in, deep breath out). We are going back to the flat and then we are going to calm down. Neither of us is in a place to be discussing options right now. We ARE going to the flat, we will calm down and then…then we will discuss this as two rational adults Rose, because that is what we are. We are not children and I will not allow this fucking piece of shit to take you from me. That IS what IS going to happen and I’ll not hear another argument about it and unless you’re willing to jump from a moving car, you’ll not be getting out. We are in a relationship now, one that you agreed to be in with me. You’ll not be handling Mr. Stones on your own any longer, is that clear?” Jon states firmly.

She doesn’t say anything to him just nods her head in agreement and turns to stare out the window as he drives. He’s not stopping the car and jumping out into traffic won’t do her any favors so she’s stuck for the moment. She’s also very torn about what to do. On one hand she knows Jimmy, knows what he’s capable of while Jon does not. She wants to keep him safe. Jimmy will take everything from her and he knows about Jon now, soon he’ll know about Jack, Amy, Rory and Clara as well and then they will all be in danger because of her. Stupid, Stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN! How could she have let her guard down? Why did she think even for one second that Jimmy would let her move forward and have any kind of life? Jon doesn’t understand that Jimmy being in prison means nothing. If he wants to get to her…he will and he won’t care who he has to go through to do that. It’s part of the reason she’s never reached out to her mum in all this time. She knows as long as Jimmy thinks she’s separated from her mum he won’t bother her, won’t have her hurt or worse in order to get to Rose.

On the other hand, Jimmy already knows about Jon…or will shortly at any rate and maybe it’s best to stay, to let Jon help her. He certainly seemed capable of handling himself back in her flat and there’s Jack too. She’s never seen Jack upset or even angry really…well the other day at Amy’s but she’s never really seen him go off. Rose has this feeling though when she really looks at Jack or Jon that they are not men to take lightly. Neither has given her any indication outwardly that they are dangerous, it’s just…a sense she gets when she’s around them. They give off a clear, ‘You don’t want to mess with me’ vibe behind the smiles and general good nature they put forth. She doesn’t feel worried for herself around either of them, but she gets the feeling that if someone comes to take what’s theirs…well…she wouldn’t want to be there for that. _“Mine, MINE, MINE,”_ Jon may not have known he said it, but he’s made a clear claim to her and she doesn’t see him giving that up easily. She still has no clue what to do as Jon pulls up to the curb in front of his flat.


	13. Chapter 13

Rose stays still in her seat as they pull up to his flat and he stops the car. She hears Jon take a deep breath and let it back out before he says, “Rose, if I unlock the car are you going to run?”

She knew he put the child safety locks on, heard them engage after the comment of her diving from the car. Is she? Is she going to run? That’s the same question she’s been asking herself the whole of the drive here. He’s right though, she has a little time at least before Jimmy makes another move; time enough to figure out where she can go. “No, I’ll not run Jon,” she says aggravated and rather shitty.

She's coming off as a petulant child and doesn’t fucking care. These last several days had turned her very carefully crafted and marginally carved out existence upside down and inside out and she’s so fucking tired of her fucked up life. Jimmy will allow her no respite from a mistake she made 11 years ago now and she’s just so, so, so fucking done. She should have left as soon as she was released from the facility; left to another town or another country and changed who she was. Left Rose Tyler behind, dead on the floor in her flat that she shared with Jimmy. Stupid, Stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN!

Jon releases the child safety locks on the doors and gets out, opens her door offering his hand to her, she’s so lost in her thoughts at the moment that she doesn’t even realizes he’s left the car. “Rose, come on let’s get inside,” he says, grabbing for her hand to help her from the car.

She’s dazed now. The adrenaline is wearing off, she feels tired, sick and…broken. She lets him lead her through the building, into the lift and back to his flat with no resistance. She should be better at this by now and is confused how having 1…just 1 day of comfort and happiness had damaged her ability to deal with these things. She’s used to feeling broken (damaged goods) and can’t seem to understand why it hurts so fucking much to feel it again.

Jon pushes her gently into his flat ahead of himself and closes the door behind him. She sees him turn to a panel by the door and press some buttons (activating the alarm system…that’s good…smart) and she waits, doesn’t move until his hand is on her lower back guiding her into the main part of the flat to the couch where he gently sets her down and then kneels in front of her.

“Tea?” he asks gently, she doesn’t respond. “Right, tea then we’ll talk,” he says walking to the kitchen. He hears the beep of the alarm system, knows Jack is back and hopes he was smart enough to grab Rory on the way over. He wants Rose looked at properly and he doesn’t want to take her to hospital. Jon looks at Rose, she’s lost now. Drained, exhausted from the flood of chemicals to her system, she doesn’t even look up at the sound of the door opening and closing.

He’s not sure what to make of that. With what just happened he thinks she should be jumping at every noise, especially a door being opened. Jon wants to believe it didn’t faze her because she knows she’s safe here, but he knows that’s not it. Relief is not what is showing on her face or in her body. It’s resignation…defeat. She truly believes she’s lost to this Jimmy person and he’s cycled back to anger. He turns around, trying to reel it back in and moderate his breathing. He’ll not be doing Rose or himself any favors by her seeing that part of him, so he locks it away, back in that dark place where he hides everything else he’s had to do and makes tea.

“Jon are you here?” he hears as Jack rounds the corner from the hall.

“Yeah, in the kitchen,” he hollers back.

As Jack rounds the corner he sees Rose on the couch, makes his way over to her and says, “Rose? Hey Rose, bit of a day huh?” He’s trying for light and easy…calm…mostly calm. Rose gives him no response. She is staring right past him and she looks…vacant. Jack knows the look in her eyes. He’d seen it on River after about a week of being in the basement. That look never left River’s face, not until she was gone anyway. Jack doesn’t even try to gain her attention again, he knows where she is in her own head and there’s nothing he can do at this point to draw her from it. He stands, making his way into the kitchen.

“I need you to call Rory and have him bring his med-bag with him,” Jon states quietly as soon as Jack is closer, “I’d like Rose properly examined…just to be sure.”

“Jon, what the hell happened in there? That flat was destroyed and the guy still knocked out cold when we got there,” Jack asks him anxiously.

“I told you Jack; I took Rose to her flat to grab some things. She didn’t want me to come in with her and (he can’t say it, can’t say the reason this happened is because he’s so fucking insecure Rose left her things behind to make him feel better, to assure him of her return) she left her phone and purse in the car. After a few minutes I began wondering what was taking so long and headed in. When I got there,” Jack sees him close his eyes, watches as he takes a deep breath in and lets it back out (that’s new he thinks), “that guy had her up against the wall and,” (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “he was touching her,” Jon’s voice has gone from flat, to strong, to angry, now faint and small and…scared. He’s scared…Jon’s scared? Jack doesn’t really know what to do with that, pushes it aside for now, time to deal with that later. “I need to go check on Rose. I’ll explain everything more when Rory gets here to look her over,” he states, grabbing the tea.

Jack pulls out his phone and texts Rory, “911-my flat-bring your med-bag,” after a minutes thought he adds, “and Amy,” hits send and makes his way to the living room.

Rory’s reply is immediate, “OMW! Amy’s at the store, should I call in Clara?”

Jack texts back, “Call Amy, tell her to close it down for the day and head over once the stores locked down for the night.” Jack takes a seat in the back of the room on the piano bench, far enough away that he won’t be a distraction, but close enough if he’s needed.

“Rose,” Jon says softly, “Rose I’ve made tea,” again…nothing, “Rose, I know you’re tired,” he kneels down in front of her taking both her hands in his and entwines their fingers, “and likely feeling sick, but I need you to focus on me for a few minutes okay?” Jon watches as she takes in a deep breath and lets it back out; good…any response is good at this point he thinks and says, “Rory is on his way. I want him to examine you. To be sure there are no injuries alright?”

“Yeah alright, but really I’m fine Jon,” she says back to him calmly…too calmly he thinks.

“I’d still feel better if you were looked at and we can do that here privately or you can go to hospital. The decision of where you get examined is yours but the exam is happening Rose. Now, moving on from that...”

“Jon, I need to go. You don’t know him, who he is or what he can do. Prison won’t stop him. Nothing will stop him,” Rose says interrupting him, crying again.

That’s better, good that she’s reacting. He hasn’t completely lost her yet to her own internal shit, he can work with that. He raises himself up sitting next to her on the couch, pulls her into his arms and lets her cry into him for a moment before he continues. She’s still crying when he says, “If you want to run Rose, than we’ll run. But you’ll not be doing it alone, not anymore. If you want to leave and start over somewhere else, fine. I’ve done that before and it’s no bother to me to do it again. But you listen to me Rose Tyler; you’ll not be running from me, from this, from us. As I said, if you want to go, we’ll go, wherever you want for as long as you want, but I will be there. I’ll not be allowing some low life wanker in prison to take you away and I’ll not allow you to run off on your own out of some idea that you’re protecting me.” He puts his hand up to stop her from interrupting him and she closes her mouth on whatever words she was going to say.

“You don’t know Rose. You have no clue the type of man I’ve had to deal with in the past and this Jimmy arsehole does not scare me. Rest assured, even if you choose to run now; Mr. Stones will be handled. He will understand that you Rose Tyler are no one’s property,” _Mine, MINE, MINE_ rushes through him, his body once again overpowered with his possessiveness of her. “He will also understand that any further harassment of you will be very, very bad for him,” he says sitting up so he can see her face. He needs to know that she is taking him seriously, needs to know that she’s not going to leave him behind. “Rose look at me,” he demands and it is a demand. Jon didn’t want to take that route, but she’s going to be stubborn about this because she doesn’t know. Rose doesn’t know who he can be if he has too, doesn’t know what he’s truly capable of becoming and doing. She slowly brings her eyes to his and once again he is struck with how beautiful she is. Even scared and hurt and angry and tear streaked and panicked she can steal his air by just looking at him.

As Rose looks into his eyes, all thoughts of fleeing leave her. He doesn’t want her to go, doesn’t want her to leave him behind. It’s only been 1 day that they have been doing this. He could have, probably should have left her back in her flat, but he didn’t. He said she could run, leave and start over but he wants to go with her. He’d give up his life here just like that and leave…with her…why? Why would he do that after 1 day of knowing her? His job, friends, flat, Donna; he’d leave everything and run with her?

“Why? Why would you leave with me Jon? You have a life here, people here who love you and care about you. Why would you leave that for some fucked up girl you just met 2 days ago?” she says loudly. She’s standing now and feeling properly pissed. Pissed at Jimmy for fucking up her life…AGAIN! Pissed off at herself for thinking she could have this…thing with Jon. Pissed at Jon for offering to give up his whole fucking life for her! She’s nothing; no one and she can’t have him thinking she’s worth that because she’s not. She’s broken…damaged goods, no good for him or anyone else. “I…I can’t do this with you Jon. We…I…I thought I could but…”

“Give me a week Rose,” Jack interrupts, “Just a week. If the situation with this Jimmy guy isn’t resolved by then, Jon and I will bankroll wherever you want to go and whatever you need to get there, with or without him. That’s a decision only you can make…if you choose to go at all. One week Rose, that’s all I’m asking for.”

She looks from Jack back to Jon; he’s upset. She did that. He tried to help her and she hurt him, one more reason he should get away from her she thinks. “Right, one week and then you’ll let me leave without issue?” she asks Jack.

“Rose, you’re not a prisoner. We’ll let you leave now if you want. I wouldn’t advise that given what’s happened today, but neither Jon or I will prevent you from leaving if it’s what you really want to do, right Jon?” Jack asks looking over to him. The look of sheer terror on his face sets Jack back. What the hell happened to him in the last 24 hours?

Jon’s up on his feet trying to make his way to the loo, he’s going to be sick. She’s leaving without him. She’s going to leave and he’ll be back in the hell he has been living in for the last 15 years before her. He can't do that, can't go back to that now. Not now. He knows now, knows he can be happy again…with her…and she’s leaving. Jon doesn’t make it to the loo, falls to his knees as his body violently expels anything that’s in it and then just for good measure he continues to dry heave onto the floor above the mess of sick. His heart is racing, his blood is rushing and the last thing he thinks is that he cannot do this without Rose. He cannot go back to before she was his and he was hers, he just can’t. He lets the darkness overcome him as he slumps to the floor.

Rose and Jack are both standing above Jon trying to get his attention. He doesn’t seem to hear or see either of them and Rose is starting to panic as well. Jack has no clue what’s going on. He’s never seen Jon like this. No, he did once, the other night when Jack asked him about Davros. Jack's attention is drawn back to Rose when he sees her move. He looks up, sees her heading for the door…SHIT, BALLS, HELL AND FUCK! He looks back down at Jon, he’s unconscious, nothing Jack can do right this second for him and he goes after Rose. He set the alarm when he came in and unless Jon had given her the code she’ll not be leaving, so he doesn’t run or rush after her, just slowly makes his way to the door trying to think of something that will keep her here. He won’t lock her in against her will, but he will do his best to convince her to at least wait till Rory and Amy get here. When he enters the hallway to the front door he can see Rose standing there, hand on the door and trying to open it.

“If you really want to go Rose I’ll unlock the door, as I said you’re not a prisoner. However, I really think you should stay long enough for Rory to examine you. Fear and adrenaline are natural pain relievers, things our body uses to help us survive. You could be injured and not know it. If you don’t want Rory to examine you then I will take you to A&E, but you really do need to be looked over,” Jack states dully.

“Fine,” she says back on a sigh, “But once Rory tells you that I’m fine, I’m leaving do you hear me Jack?

“Oh I hear you Rose. I disagree with it, think you’ll be making a huge mistake, am a little more than worried about Jon’s reaction to it, but I fucking hear you,” he hisses out.

Jack’s response shakes her, makes her take a step away from him. She’s never heard that tone or seen that look on him. “Jack…what? What’s wrong? You said I could go after Rory looked me over...why are you angry? I haven’t done anything,” Rose says timidly, stepping away from him.

“Yes Rose. Yes you did do something. You don’t know Jon. You don’t know what he’s…we’ve been through. How hard he’s fought every fucking day to just keep breathing. Years Rose, he gave up years of his life to help me, to fix me, to make me better. No one was there for him, not ever. I was too fucked up and selfish. I needed him all the time and I left him no time to fix himself. He never cried, never asked for anything from me. He went to school, took care of me and that was the entirety of his fucking existence Rose. None of that has anything to do with you, but that,” he points to Jon unconscious in his own vomit, “That was you. He was so angry with me for keeping you from him. I had my reasons though, and I was right. I know I was right now. No matter how much he wanted it, I should have said no. He wasn’t ready. I thought he was. I thought maybe you weren’t, but I really thought he was,” he says, sliding down the wall covering his face with his hands. As he makes it to the floor the front door opens and Rory comes in followed by Amy.

“Dr. Rory and Nurse Amy present and accounted for,” Amy quips, entering the flat. She goes silent as she takes in her surroundings. Rose, looking like she’s ready to run full tilts out the door. Amy closes the door behind her, setting the alarm. She has no idea what’s going on, but she gets the distinct impression Rose is not to be leaving (issue 1 resolved…unless Rose has the code, but she doesn’t think so).

“Who needs the doctor?” Rory asks.

Jack responds, “Look over Jon first. Make sure he’s not given himself a concussion or fuck I don’t know, a God damned stroke or some shit. Then Rose will need to be given a proper exam and checked for injuries before she heads out,” he says flatly.

“You’re…letting me leave?” she asks in a small voice.

“I already told you Rose, you’re not a captive. Jon and I are not fucking kidnappers. We don’t hold people against their will. He just wanted to make sure you weren’t injured. As soon as Rory gives the okay you’re free to do as you like. I’m sure Amy can take you wherever you want to go. I’ll need to be here when Jon comes round' so I can’t take you myself…sorry,” he snaps, “Come on Rory, make sure he’s ok to move first then help me get him to the couch I suppose.” He doesn’t want Jon waking up in his bed, not when he has to tell him Rose left. Jack is pretty sure he knows what happened between Jon and Rose now and him waking up in that bed, alone, so soon after…no…the couch will have to do.

Rory heads to Jon lying on the floor and proceeds to check him over. He lets Jack know that Jon can be moved safely and helps Jack move him to the couch. “Rose do you want Amy to come back with us?” Rory asks her.

“Yeah, please let’s just get this over with,” she says.

Rory grabs his bag, Amy’s hand and goes to the office. “Okay Rose, start talking,” demands Amy once the door closes.

“Well I went to my flat to grab some stuff and the landlord…attacked me. Jon came just in time and brought us back here. He wanted Rory to look me over just to be sure I wasn’t injured. Which I wasn’t…not really,” Rose replies.

“And then?” Amy prompts.

“And then what?” Rose asks.

“And then…Jon was attacked by aliens or ninja’s broke in and knocked him out or what? I mean he didn’t just decide to hurl all over and then take a nap in it Rose, so what happened?” Amy says harshly.

“I told him I couldn’t do this…with him and he…uh…that news didn’t sit well and he got sick then passed out. So Doctor Rory what’s the outcome?” she asks quickly.

“You’re fine, small amount of bruising to your throat and arms, but perfectly fine,” he tells her.

“Can’t do what with him Rose?” Amy pushes.

“I told him I couldn’t be with him like…this,” she says.

“Like wha…OH MY GOD! Rose did you have sex with Jon?” Amy yells.

Rose doesn’t say anything, but the flush of her skin and the way she’s looking anywhere but at Amy tells her all she needs to know. “What? You slept with him and now you what? Decided he’s not worth it, or he sucked in bed or what? Why would you do that? Years Rose, so many years he’s been miserable and alone, he finally allows someone in, really in and you’re leaving? Leaving where by the way?” Amy rushes out.

Rose is getting rather indignant now. She loves Amy and Rory but they don’t know Jimmy. They don’t know what her life was like before she met them. They have no right to question her wanting to run, they don’t know. Then again, they are her friends…and Jon’s friends.

“Okay look, the man who broke in and trashed my flat was my landlord. Apparently Jimmy had him keeping an eye on me for him. He broke in, trashed everything and then attacked me. Jon came in just as he had me against the wall and stopped him. I tried explaining to Jon that it wasn’t safe for me to be around him. You guys do not know Jimmy. You don’t know what he’s capable of and I don’t want Jon or any of you getting hurt because of me and he will hurt you. If he finds out that I care about you at all he will find a way to hurt you Amy,” she rushes out, starting to cry again.

“And what? You’re just going to run? Alone? With nothing? I’m guessing by the sick on the floor and my unconscious friend that Jon did not respond well to that idea. Did he offer to help? Of course he did. And you don’t want his help why? Aren’t you tired of doing this alone? You have people who care about you, people who want to help, and people who this Jimmy wacko-wankjob doesn’t scare and you just want to run? What did Jack say?” Rory asks her.

“He said to give him a week to handle the situation. If in a week it wasn’t resolved he and Jon would bankroll me leaving,” Rose says, tears streaming from her eyes.

And what did Jon say?” Rory asks her.

“He said if I wanted to run…we could run. He wants to come with me. How can I ask that of him? He has a life here, a job, friends, Donna, flats and cars and life…stuff. I can’t ask him to give that up for some crazy fucked up girl he just met Rory,” she replies harshly through her tears.

“Did you though? Ask him to give it up, I mean. Cause from what you just said it sounds like you didn’t ask anything. He offered freely of his own choosing to leave with you, for you and him Rose. How come it’s okay for you to leave everyone who loves and cares for you behind but not for him? He’s a grown man you know. He knows his own mind. In fact he knows his own mind better than most people on the planet. He is after all a right proper fucking genius as he tells us at every opportunity,” his reply just as harsh as hers.

Amy walks over to her, guides her to sit on the couch, sits beside her and takes her hand. “Rose sweetie, you want to protect us yeah? Because we’re your friends and you love us, we get that, we really do; but you’re our friend as well and we also want to protect you. Jon is more than a friend now to you I assume. I would imagine you are more than just a friend to him as well. So why would he or we not want the same as you want for us? Besides strength in numbers yeah? Give Jack and Jon the week they asked for. If the situation isn’t fixed then run…with Jon. It’ll be like an extended holiday. Please just…he won’t come back from this if you bail on him Rose. You don’t know, but trust me because I do know and he won’t come back from this now,” Amy says begging on Jon’s behalf.

Jack sits on the table in front of the couch they laid Jon onto. He has a damp rag and is cleaning up the sick from Jon’s face when he starts to wake up. He sees Jack, notices he’s lying on the couch, “Jack wha…” he says, as his memory comes back to him. He sits up and wipes his hands down his face. “Rose?” he asks through his hands.

“Still here, she’s in the office getting looked over by Rory and Amy. Do you want to maybe tell me what’s happened here? I have very little information to go on and I have a hard time believing what my head has put together,” Jack says following Jon into the loo in the hall. Jon grabs his toothbrush and toothpaste, cleans the sick from his mouth and heads back to the living room.

“Rose was attacked at her flat, which was destroyed. You were here for the conversation, so you heard that. What exactly are you unclear on? I want her to stay or in lieu of that let me go with her if she leaves. Apparently she wants neither,” he says as he blows a breath out and stands up.

He has one hand worrying the back of his neck, the other shoved into the front pocket of his jeans and he’s pacing. “Regardless of whether she stays or goes and whether she allows me to come with her, this Jimmy Stones person needs to be taken care of. I’ll not have her living in fear until he gets out of prison. I’m fairly certain he’ll be coming for what he thinks is his. His…that guy at her flat made it perfectly clear how Mr. Stones views Rose and she shouldn’t have to live like that. So with me or not, he needs to be made to understand that Rose is not property and he is to stay away,” Jon states with as little emotion as he can. He thinks he’s doing well, but the look on Jack’s face tells him otherwise.

“Yeah Jon, I know all that shit already. I went to the flat, had the movers grab everything. It’s in storage #4 by the way. I also may have had a chat with Mr. Slumlord about Rose and this Jimmy asshole,” Jack states annoyed that he’s not getting the full story.

“What did he tell you?” Jon demands.

“Mostly petty theft and drug charges; he had been in and out of lockup for several years. Minor stuff really, stupid kid shit,” Jack says.

“So what’s had him locked up for so long this time?" Jon queries.

Jack takes a folder from a stack of papers on the table and says, “I had a friend of mine fax me over his rap sheet and any other information he could find.” He’s holding the information in his hand out toward Jon, as he reaches for it Jack pulls it back just a little, “Before you look in here you need to be sure you want to know. It’s pretty rough and after the last few days and your new affinity for fainting; you just need to be sure this is how you want to get your information about Rose.”

“So Rose is the reason he’s in prison currently,” Jon states.

“Yes,” Jack responds.

“And it’s all in there? All of it?” Jon questions.

Again all Jack says is, “Yes.”

Jon hesitates taking the information. He needs to know what he’s dealing with but he doesn’t want to upset Rose by digging through her past without talking to her first. He decides to speak to Rose, see if he can get her to open up to him about Jimmy and what he’s up against before reading the folder. If she chooses to run…alone...then he’ll look through the information Jack brought him.

“Right, we'll keep the information handy. I’ll speak to Rose first; see if she’s made her decision about what she wants to do. We’ll be taking care of Mr. Stones either way though,” Jon states with a determined voice.

“Jon, I know all of that shit. What I don’t know is what the hell has happened to you in the last 24 hours,” Jack says loudly and irritated.

“Rose,” Jon states, “Rose happened. I don’t know how to explain it. I really don’t. It’s…It’s…different than anything. She’s different than anyone. I just…know. I know it’s right and it’s supposed to happen.”

He’s rushing now, full on babble rant mode as he tries to explain the last 24 hours to Jack. Hand holding, electricity, talking and cuddling, crying, explanations and…sex and, “This is right Jack. When we were together I saw it, saw everything…a life…our life and now…I don’t know what to do. She’s going to leave. I can’t stop her and offering to go with her, she didn’t seem keen to that either. So what do I do? Because I can’t…Jack I can’t do this again. If I lose her now…I won’t come back from that. What do I do?” he begs, tears coursing down his face.

Jack had thought they slept together and still the revelation that it happened leaves him stunned silent. He needs just a minute to process that information. He had been trying for 10 years to get Jon to move on with his life. He introduced him to so many women, all of them different, trying to find just one who could even almost capture his attention. He watched as Jon tried and struggled with even the simplest forms of intimacy. Touching, kissing, cuddling, Jon couldn’t even get that far. To have it confirmed that he had slept with Rose within 24 hours of meeting her…stunned really didn’t cover it.

Jack snaps himself back to the present conversation and says, “We just have to convince her that staying or running is going to be better with you than without you. Really, it’s the truth so I don’t even have to lie about it,” he winks. Jack sees him start to relax until the sound of the door down the hall opening reaches his ears. At once Jon’s body goes rigid. He closes his eyes, tries to take in a deep breath. To Jack it looks like he prepping himself for bad news. He’s hoping Amy had better luck convincing Rose to stay than he did. He is truly worried for Jon now. After hearing everything he’s not sure how he could help Jon if Rose chooses to leave.

Jon turns towards the hallway preparing himself for the worst. If she still wants to go, he’ll not try to stop her. He’s already asked and basically begged. If what’s happened isn’t enough to either make her stay or allow him to come with her…well…then he will deal with that. He’s been alone all this time, another 50 or 60 years won’t matter he lies to himself.

Rory followed by Amy, steps into the living room with Rose just behind them. As Jon’s eyes land on hers, it’s as if he has both been given air again and can breathe and all of the oxygen has been sucked from his body. He wants to go to her, wants to take her in his arms and tell her that he will fix this. Fix everything and never, never let her from his sight again, but he doesn’t know if he’s allowed that now. 3 hours ago (Fucking really? 3 fucking hours ago) he was sure, knew exactly what was happening in his life, her life, their fucking life…and it only took seconds for this arsehole to mess everything up. He’s leaning back towards rage now. **_Mine, mine, mine_** playing in his head as he looks at her. He has to resist the pull in his gut that’s telling him that she is **HIS** , so he stays still and silent. Jon’s not sure what he will say if he tries to talk and since she’s the one who has all the power here, best to let her speak first.

To say the tension in the room is thick would be trivializing the matter. It is incredibly uncomfortable in the flat with Rose and Jon staring at each other and the three of them trying not to stare at the other two. “Lunch,” Amy chirps with a bit too much pep, “Yep, um…fish n’ chips. We’re going to the pier to get us all lunch. I don’t know about you all but I’m famished,” she says patting her flat tummy, “Come along boys, I need food.” Jack and Rory each look at the other and decide it best to follow the hot ginger, things seem…stressed in the flat. Jon hears the front door close and the beep of the alarm engaging. She’s not going to start then, he’ll have to do it.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Right…so apparently I took a little nap, would you care to fill me in on the events that transpired while I was…err…napping? What did…did everything come out okay with the exam? No…uh…injuries that need mending or anything?” he asks timid and scared.

Up to this point right now Rose was still undecided on how to proceed. She wants Jon safe but she wants to be with him as well. She truly thinks he’ll be safer if she leaves…physically safer anyways. Emotionally…well…not so safe for either of them at this point she thinks. Even though she truly believes he would be safer away from her, every time she thinks of leaving without him she gets…sick. This sick feeling works its way through her entire body and a complete sense of…wrongness settles in her. She doesn’t know how else to describe it…wrong is the only thing that feels appropriate.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “No I…I’m alright. Some minor bruising on my arms and uh…” he sees her close her eyes and breathe in and out again, “my…my throat. But it’s nothing bad they’ll be gone in a few days. Thank you, by the way for coming in after me. It would have been much worse. How did you know something was wrong anyway?” Rose asks him meekly.

“Oh, I just felt off. Something was off and when it was taking longer than necessary to grab some clothes, I just…I needed to check, to make sure you were okay. I’m glad that you weren’t hurt worse that’s…good,” he tells her. His hand is worrying at his neck, his other hand deep into his jeans pocket. He’s not pacing but he is digging the toe of his chucks into the floor in an effort to remain still. She sees him take a deep breath in and let it out. “So did…have you…decided what you want to do Rose?” he asks calmly.

“Jack asked me to wait a week before I left. He said that if the issue wasn’t resolved in that time that he’d not try to stop me from leaving town. I’m going to give him the week he asked for. Then if…well if Jimmy’s still intent on harassing me I’m going to leave,” she says seeing Jon tense. His whole body is stiff as a board and he’s quit breathing again. That’s something they are going to have to work on. She can’t have him passing out every 5 bloody minutes. “But if you…if you still want… to come with me Jon…if I have to run, I’d really like that,” she finally stammers out.

“Yeah?” he asks. Jon’s watches her face and her body language. He needs to make sure that’s what she really wants. He doesn’t want her saying it just to make him feel better. He sees her start to smile at him and the more the corners of her mouth turn up the more his reciprocates. Her smile has lost none of its effect on him and he feels as if the sun has just come out and he’s breathing normally again.

“Better with two?” she asks and his smile widens.

She means it, wants him to come with her if she has to run, wants to be with him here if she doesn’t. His life returned to him in her smile. He replies, “Better with you.” Jon sees her take a step towards him, hesitate and step again. He’s not hesitating though, not anymore, not with her and not with this life.

Jon walks to her, wraps himself around her and she folds herself into him. Suddenly everything that was wrong is right and his world is back in its proper place as he holds the whole of his universe in his arms. Rose pulls back a little, just enough she can look up to him. She smiles at him, her tongue poking through the corner of her mouth. She puts both of her arms around his shoulders and kisses him. Slow, tentative at first, then more confidant as her tongue swipes across his lips and she pulls his bottom lip into her mouth and sucks on it. A whimper escapes his throat; he kisses her back and everything else just stops. Time has frozen again. Jon knows nothing other than her lips on his and her taste in his mouth as his tongue pushes forward.

Rose is pressed against the wall; his hands under her shirt against her back wandering up and down her spine. Her hands in his hair gripping tighter, controlling the angle of the kiss and the only thought he has is mine, mine, mine. Jon’s pressing into her harder, she feels him and it’s her turn to whimper. He’s just about to pick her up and continue into the bedroom when he faintly recognizes the beep of the alarm disengaging and the front door opening. He slows the kiss, pulls back from it and presses his forehead to hers.

“We’ll talk about everything later yeah? I think lunch is here,” he says opening his eyes to see hers stills closed. Her breathing still coming in choppy and he can’t help the smug grin that covers his face. She’s flushed that shade of pink that is quickly replacing blue as his favorite color, her lips swollen from his kisses and he can’t help but flush at the idea that he did that to her.

“Right...yeah. Lunch then…talking…yep,” she says still breathing heavy. He pulls back taking her hand, entwines their fingers and heads back to the living room with her…his girlfriend…still.

Jack, Rory and Amy step into the living room cautiously. Things were intense between Jon and Rose when they left. Amy had thought it would take longer to get lunch squared away. She wanted to give them some time to try and come to an agreement on how to move forward…hopefully together. Amy shouldn’t know about Jon and Jack, but she does. They don’t know she knows though.

After Jack had first brought them home for the night she had been snooping, as she’s wont to do and had come across what she at the time thought was the beginning of a novel. It wasn’t. She had stumbled upon Jack’s journal. It hadn’t been used in years if the dates were accurate. When she first started reading it she didn’t realize what it was, by the time she did she was too far in to stop. So she knows everything, or at least everything Jack wrote down. She thinks after reading it, if there is stuff he left out she’d rather not know. For a long time after she found the journal it was hard for her to be in the same room as Jack and Jon. Partly out of guilt, but mostly it was hard to look at these two men who had become such close friends and know what they had survived. Harder even that she couldn’t tell them she knew. So when she discovered Jon had slept with Rose, she knew she had to keep her from leaving or at least leaving without him.

Amy had a pretty normal existence she thinks. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t…well…it definitely wasn’t what Jon, Jack or Rose had lived through. She wonders what kind of person you have to turn yourself into to survive that life. The people who committed these acts against her friends, they are evil…pure evil. Amy doesn’t believe in God or the Devil, Heaven or Hell, but she does believe that some people are just born wrong…born evil. From the information in the journal Amy understands that Jon took the brunt of the psychological as well as the physical…abuse…torture? Both are fitting.

Jack had met a woman named River and was immediately charmed by her as Jack often is. She had shown a small interest in Jon at first, but quickly found Jack much more her equal in pleasurable pursuits. Jon and Jack had only started traveling together about 2 weeks prior to meeting River and they were all just a bunch of kids out to have a good time. They were stopped for a few days in a small coastal town in Norway. Jon was piss drunk and retreated to their room to pass out. River suggested she and Jack try to find something more entertaining that booze. After that the journals information is sketchy for a while. Random places, names and drawings for a few pages, small bites of information talking about scoring ecstasy and getting wasted on the beach with River and Jon, just kids being kids having fun.

Jack had gone back to the same dealer he got the ecstasy from to score some coke for River and some weed for himself. He went to talk to the dealer while Jon and River waited in the car. There was some kind of argument between Jack and the dealer. The next thing any of them knew, they were being marched at gunpoint into the basement of building out in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere and chained to walls with masks covering their faces. Amy now spends a great amount of time trying not to think about what the rest of the journal had in it. It’s difficult to look at her friends and have those images play in her head.

Jon and Rose step back into the living room just as their three friends start to put out lunch for everyone and make their way to the couch. It had not gone unnoticed by all three that they were once again all smiles and holding hands upon their reappearance. “Everything worked out then?” Amy asks when they walk back in.

“No, not everything,” Jon states, “We need to figure out a plan for…managing Mr. Stones. Rose has agreed to give us a week to work it out. If in that week the issue is not resolved, then Rose and I will be taking a vacation for a bit I suppose.”

“Maybe we should make a visit to this Jimmy guy?” Jack interjects.

“I’ll not have Rose there. This is something that we need to handle Jack,” Jon states while staring hard at Jack.

“Drinks anyone?” Jack asks the group. After everyone calls out what they’d like Jack says, “Jon, want to help me round it all up?” Once they are out of hearing range Jack says, “Jon, exactly what kind of message are we sending here? I have contacts in the prisons who could handle the issue.”

“Keep that as a backup plan. I don’t want to have to resort to that but…” he trails off, his eyes finding Rose instinctively, “I will do what’s necessary to keep her safe. We’ll not be running unless she insists on it.” He goes quiet for a moment and Jack sees him bobbing his head from side to side contemplating something. “Though a mini-break with Rose…that just sounds like a good idea” he smiles, “Maybe even if we don’t need to leave a trip could be nice yeah?”

Jack can’t help but smile. He’s known Jon a long time and he’s not sure he’s ever seen him this happy. Granted, the last few days have been a whirlwind of emotional issues to deal with for these two, but it’s still nice to see him so happy. Jack puts all the drinks on a tray to carry and heads back out with Jon just behind him.

Lunch is a fairly quiet affair. Jon and Rose can feel the tension coming off their friends from holding back their questions but their restraint is appreciated. They need to work out what’s going to happen from here. He needs to know how Rose wants to deal with Jimmy. As Jon eats his lunch he thinks about letting Jack’s contacts send the message that Rose is not to be messed with. That she is in fact not Jimmy’s and he will never be near her again, but Jon’s worried that those people will take things farther than may be necessary.

No, it’s better to make the trip to see him personally. See if they can come to an agreement about Rose. If after that Jimmy still refuses to move on from the past…well…he’ll just have to make sure that doesn’t happen. Jon can be very convincing after all and he can do that with a wink, smile and charm or he can do it other ways.

“Are we still having this dinner party?” Rory asks.

“Shit! I forgot all about that with everything that happened today,” Jon sighs.

“It’s what 2pm-ish? We need to be there at 7pm right, so plenty of time still. That’s good, the last thing I need today is a pissed off Donna,” Jack states, “Oh Rose, I had the movers clear out your flat. All of your stuff is in storage room 4 in the basement. I just had them pack everything. You’ll need to go through it, see what’s salvageable, but all your clothes and stuff are down there.”

“Right…my stuff. I’ll deal with that in a bit. Just maybe need a few minutes to properly process everything, yeah. It’s not like fancy dress or anything right? Jeans and t-shirt get together?” she asks the group.

“Nah, Jeans is fine. It’s just Donna and us right? Maybe Clara and a date?” Amy confirms looking at Jon.

“I have no clue why you’re asking me Amy, I had nothing to do with this. It’s all Jack and Donna,” Jon tells her.

“Nope, nothing fancy. Just a group of friends getting together for a sober fun night of board games and biscuits as far as I know,” Jack tells everybody.

“Rose do you need some clothes? I mean I know it’s casual and all but, well, what you’re wearing may bring more questions than you’d like,” Amy says as she waves her hand at Rose’s clothes.

Rose looks at her clothes and realizes that her shirt is torn. It’s practically in tatters, she is instantly embarrassed that she hadn’t noticed, angry that this happened and scared of what’s to happen next. She stands up and says, “Yeah, probably not the best look. I’m just…I…I’m gonna use the loo…be right back.”

Jon stands, tosses the keys to the storage room to Jack and says, “Please bring her clothes up, she doesn’t need to see the mess her stuff was left in, just grab a bunch and bring them here.”

He heads in the same direction Rose rushed off too. She is exactly where he knew she’d be, sitting in his en suite against the wall. She’s not crying but she’s clearly upset. He sits next to her, takes her hand in his and entwines their fingers; she doesn’t look up at him but glances down at their hands and smiles.

“I know it’s been a rough day Rose, but there are some things we need to discuss. Decisions that need to be made…soon,” Jon tells her softly.

“Yeah,” she sighs back to him, (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Jon, I know you’re going to say that I can stay here but…I’m not so sure that’s the best idea,” she puts one finger against his lips to stave off the protest she can see forming, “It’s only…we’ve only been seeing each other for 1 day. We’ve moved quite quickly and I…I don’t want to mess this up. What if we move too fast and then…I don’t know…you change your mind?”

Not even remotely possible he thinks when she says that. “That’s not going to happen Rose. I’m ready now, right now. I want this life with you and everything else can fuck off. Is that really what you’re worried about, me changing my mind or is there something else? Is this…is this about money? I can imagine that it’s…uncomfortable or awkward for you, but really it means nothing to me Rose. I’ve lived with and without money. So if you’re uncomfortable with that we should just talk about it yeah? Acknowledge, explain, accept and move on. Weren’t those your rules for dealing with things like this when they come up?” he says softly but rushed.

“Yes, but Jon…” (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Right okay then, I’m just going to say this, please don’t misunderstand and I’m not trying to upset you. If…If I was to move in here…with you…what…uh…what would that be like?” she asks quietly.

“Hopefully more like the morning we spent together than the afternoon,” he says with a very smug grin, “but I have a feeling that’s not what you’re asking about yeah? So maybe you could define the question for me, so I can refine the answer for you.”

He sees her square off her shoulders and sit with her back straight against the wall. She’s so brave…his Rose and she has no idea. She could easily shy away from these topics that she finds difficult. After the day she’s already had he would hardly fault her for wanting to put off anything of importance, at least for the rest of the day. Rose doesn’t though she just keeps going. She has no idea how truly strong and brave and brilliant she is. He wants to show her. Jon hopes he can somehow get her to see what he sees…eventually. It will take time for him to fix her just as it will take time for her to fix him, but they have time. He waits patiently for her to put her thoughts in order, waits for her to figure out the phrasing of her questions, he’ll always wait for her he thinks.

“If I stay here what would be your expectations of me?” she says quickly.

Expectations? He thinks about that for a minute, wants her to know that he’s taking her question seriously. “Do you mean like don’t leave wet towels on the floor and every 3 days you have dish duty? Or expectations in the sense of you and me being together and living together?” he queries back to her.

“Both, any, all of it. I’ve been living alone a long time and before that…Jimmy had a lot of rules and specific ways things needed to be done. This is your flat Jon. I don’t want to cause any issues. What about Jack? He lives here too. Is he going to be okay with this…me just moving in here like that, so soon? Would I be in the office or…” (Deep breath in, deep breath out), “in your room? What would rent be, what would my share of the bills be, can I even afford this?” Rose rushes the words out.

“How about we make it through this dinner party and get some sleep. Tomorrow we can discuss all of those questions and anything else either of us might have thought of. It’s been a long day already Rose, for the both of us. Maybe right this second isn’t the best time to bring all this up. Tomorrow though, I promise, barring any extenuating circumstances we will discuss everything alright? Also I asked Jack to bring up some of your clothes from storage,” Jon says trying to calm her.

“Yeah, tomorrows good, but...uh…I don’t really feel like a party tonight. How upset would Donna be if I begged off?” she asks.

“Well, how about you take a shower and I’ll call her. Maybe…what if we just had everyone stay here and order takeout or something like that. No party or anything, but almost everyone is here anyways. After today we’ll not be rid of them easily and Donna…well…she’ll be a bit miffed if we leave her out,” Jon says lightly.

“That sounds much better. Thank you and I…I really am sorry to mess up everyone’s night…it’s...”

“Rose,” Jon interrupts, “You’re not messing anything up. After the day you’ve had, not to mention how much has happened in the last several days no one will be upset that you need some down time tonight,” he says putting his hand out to help her up. “Now you hop in the bath or shower or whatever you like and I’ll go let everyone know the plans for the night okay?” he says as she gets to her feet.

Jon looks at her, really looks at her. She looks wrecked, tired, angry, sad and…confused he thinks. He leans in to kiss her, sees her eyes close just before their lips meet and gives her a small sweet kiss. He rests his forehead against hers, closes his eyes and says, “I will handle this Rose. You truly need not be afraid of Jimmy or anything else. I know this is new. Not just you and me but all of this, having people who really care about you, wanting to take care of you. I know you have had to go it on your own for a very long time but you don’t anymore and if you’ll let me I will take care of you, I want to Rose. You just have to trust me.” He kisses her again, heads out of the door and closes it behind him before she has a chance to respond.

Jon makes his way to the living room, stands in front of his friends and claps his hands to get their attention. “Right, we’ll not be doing the dinner party tonight,” he holds up his hands in an effort to stave off their protests, “Rose and I have had a rough and confusing few days. She doesn’t feel up to a party tonight and honestly neither do I. You are all welcome to stay here and join us for a quiet, peaceful, relaxing evening in or you know…not. I’m going to call Donna, have her come by so I can explain everything that’s happened in the last few days. She’ll be fine once she knows about today; a party will not be her main concern. Any questions?” They all respond by shaking their heads, “Lovely, now I need to go call Donna and one of you three need to call Clara.”

Jon walks into his bedroom to call Donna and she answers on the third ring. “Oi Space-Case! I have been calling you all day. What’s the point in having a mobile if you don’t answer the damn thing?” she snaps into the phone.

“Listen Donna, some stuff has happened and I don’t want you to worry, it’s being handled but Rose and I, neither of us feels much up to going anywhere. If you’d like to come by the flat we will explain everything, but we will not be doing the thing at the shop tonight and I know you set the whole thing up and I’m sorry to ruin it, but it’s just not a good night. Besides, the point of the dinner party was a meet and greet for Rose and I. We are past that part I guess you could say,” he tells her quickly.

“What? What do you mean past that part? What’s happened?” Donna blurts out.

Jon sighs deeply and says, “You knew she spent the night, so obviously we are past the meeting each other part Donna. There have been some…err…developments? I guess you’d say.”

“OH MY GOD!” she exclaims loudly into his ear through the phone, “You’ve…you and her…she and you…what? After one day Jon? Is that smart? I mean you don’t really know anything about her do you?”

Ah, she’s wondering if he knows about Rose’s past. Well that’s not for the phone, all of that is better explained and discussed in person. He responds, “What I know Donna is that this…with her…it’s right. I know it is. I don’t care that it’s only been a day. I don’t care about her history or that she has no money or education or any other fucking thing except…this with her is right. Everything else…all this other extraneous shit…I could give a fuck all for that. We’ll explain everything when you get here yeah? Just, I don’t want you to worry Donna, about this thing with Rose. I need you all to trust me okay? I know…”

Donna can hear his voice getting higher, louder; he’s upset and worried about her reaction. Donna thinks he’s likely worried about everyone’s reaction.

“it’s been a long time and things with Rose have moved at an extremely accelerated rate for someone who was alone for 15 years. I wish I had a better way of explaining it other than I just know, but I don’t and I need you all to trust me or…or…you can all fuck off as well! I just found her and I’m not giving her up ever! Quite honestly any information either one of us chooses to give you all is a fucking gift! And…”

“Jon,” she tries interrupting him, “JON!” she shouts into the phone. He does not want a shouting match with me Donna thinks, he’d never win. He’s gone silent she’s gotten his attention. “I’m happy for you and Rose. You are correct it’s none of anyone’s business how fast or slow this happens for the both of you. Only Rose and you can set the pace. Let’s be honest here, it’s not as if every single one of us hasn’t jumped into bed with someone on the first night yeah? So get you knickers untwisted. I’ll be over in a bit and we can discuss whatever’s happened then,” she says disconnecting.

Jon was expecting more push back from Donna on this whole Rose issue. Then he remembers, Rose said she had known Donna before. Maybe that’s why he was let off so easily? Doesn’t matter, he meant what he said. He’ll not be giving Rose up. If his friends think he’s…they are moving too fast they can go fuck themselves and this Jimmy mother fucker better take his first offer of leaving Rose alone. She is his; no one is going to take her or make him give her up; not now, not ever and that is final.

As Jon turns to toss the phone onto his dresser he sees her. Rose, standing in the doorway of the en suite wrapped in only a towel, her hair still dripping from her shower. His eyes rake over her; water droplets running down her pink skin until they hit the towel and get soaked in, still no makeup, his eyes travel down farther and find the mark he’d put there. He has to stifle the growl that’s rising in his throat as the overwhelming possessiveness he feels for her crashes through him again. MINE, MINE, MINE over and over in his head. He shakes himself, tries to regain his composure before he rushes to her and takes her to bed. Jon brings his eyes back to hers and sees her smile at him.

“Did you mean what you said Jon?” she asks quietly, not making eye contact.

“I’m not sure what you’re referring to Rose but yes. Whatever I have said to you I have meant, so I suppose I don’t really need to know what you’re speaking of specifically, but it could be helpful if you gave me just a clue,” he says smiling back at her.

“What you just said to Donna, did you mean it?” she asks again.

Yes,” he says back nervously.

He has one hand worrying his neck and the other tugging his wonky earlobe. She has a brief moment where she wonders if that’s why it’s noticeably longer that his other, but she pushes it away and focuses back on the conversation at hand. She believes him when he says yes, he didn’t know she was there listening. The things he said weren’t for her benefit; that’s just how he feels. He’d told her the same thing, but him saying it to someone else when he didn’t know she was listening…well that’s a bit different isn’t it…changes how she needs to look at things, because he really feels that, feels the same as she does.

The longer she stares at him the more nervous he’s becoming. Jon hadn’t expected her to hear his tirade to Donna and he may have come off a little too possessive. He’s worried he may have scared her with what he said. He knows it’s fast, but he doesn’t bloody care. That’s the truth of the matter and best she hears it now he thinks to himself. He sees her walking up to him and she puts her hand over his chest where is heart is. She’s not looking him in the eye and he can see she’s getting prepared to say something. He watches as the now very familiar breath in and out happens.

“Me too. I feel that way too Jon,” she breathes out on a whisper, dropping her towel.

She’s mimicking his gesture from this morning (seriously, just this morning?!). Baring herself to him in an effort to assure him that she feels the same as he does. Her hands have moved to the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up and off of him.

For Jon this is all happening in slow motion. His emotions have run a fucking marathon today. He thinks he’s experienced every emotion there is in one day. Part of him is exhausted and he imagines Rose is as well. Part of him is relieved that after everything that’s happened today she’s still here, still wants to be here and another part of him wants to tell her. Tell her that he loves her and please spend the rest of your life me, please, please, please. Her hands undo the button of his jeans, then his zip sliding them off of him along with his pants.

He’s kissing her, stepping out of his clothes to be left in a pile on the floor. Her arms are around his neck, his hands drift down grabbing her arse, pulling her fully against him and she groans as his cock presses into her stomach. He grabs her, picks her up and turns her so she’s pressed into the wall. He’s never done this. Jon had a lot of sex when he was younger, but he’s never done this. Rose wraps her legs around his waist and locks her ankles at his lower back. She pulls her mouth from his, starts sucking on his neck and he moans into her ear. She’s marked him. He can feel it bruising already, causing him to harden further, fluid weeping from his tip.

Rose lifts her head just enough to pull his ear lobe into her mouth and suck on it. Jon’s eyes slam shut with the wave of lust that rushes through him. He can feel her breath coming as pants and can feel how wet she is pressed against him. Her body is so reactive to him, to every touch. Then he hears her in his ear whispering, “Jon, make love to me, I want to feel you again, need to…please.”

His hand is on his cock guiding himself into her before the last word is even out of her mouth. It’s less him sliding into her and more her sliding down onto him. This is…he’s never…fuck…it’s too soon…but she’s wet and hot and clenching around him and he doesn’t want to cum yet. They did that earlier, the fast and hard and now, now, now. He wants to take his time with her and he pulls almost all the way out of her and waits. He needs to calm down but the whimper, whine, growl noise she releases when he pulls back is too much. Jon slams back into her, his teeth sinking into her shoulder and a moan is released from deep in her throat.

He turns, still inside of her and manages to get to the bed. He wants to see her come undone above him, wants to watch her face as she falls because of him. Jon sits on the bed and lies back so that she is straddling him. Rose places both her hands on his chest for balance, never missing a step and she starts moving fluidly over him. He can tell she’s close, can feel her muscles starting to clamp and clench around him. She’s not riding him so much as grinding herself on to him. Her head is thrown back, nails digging into his chest, breathing shallow, gasps and moans coming from her mouth and he thinks this is the most erotic, beautiful thing he has or will ever see; until she brings her head down, opens her eyes and looks directly into his. “R…Jon…gonna…cum,” she whimpers, her eyes slam shut and her body stops all movement.

Her climax rushes through her. He thrusts up into her, once, twice and, “Rose, Rose, ROSE!” leaves his lips and he’s lost again, electricity and heat and light and wet and Rose. She falls onto his chest, their breathing not yet back to normal. He wraps his arms around her waist and holds tight...tighter than he probably should. Once his breathing and heart rate have slowed down, his hands find her hair guiding her mouth to his so he can kiss her. Jon pulls back, searches for her eyes and sees they are still closed. Rose has a peaceful smile on her face, like something…some kind of weight that had been there has been lifted. She sags against his chest and he’s still inside of her. He’s softening and should probably move because there is going to be a mess...OH SHIT…HOLY FUCKING SHIT…mess! There’s going to be a mess…a mess left behind because they didn’t use a condom.

He’s not worried about diseases. Neither of them has been with anyone in so long they are both clean. The length of time since either has been with anyone is likely the cause of the oversight and now he has to tell her…OH GOD! She’ll hate him. He should have thought, but he couldn’t think, that’s exactly the issue. She touches him or looks at him and there is no thinking, just Rose and yes and more and never, never stop. Now…he needs to tell her now before he does have a panic attack and passes out still inside of her, which would not be good he thinks.

“Rose,” he says quietly. He doesn’t want to do this, cannot deal with anymore shit today but he has to.

“Yeah?” she asks still against his chest and she’s kissing him now, lips and teeth worrying at his nipple and…oh good lord, he’s hard again.

So quietly he’s unsure if she’ll hear him he says, “We didn’t use condoms Rose.” He waits for her to freak out or yell at him or something, but she stays quiet and still. Rose turns them over, pulls his face down to hers and starts to kiss him. Jon knows she heard him, felt her body freeze and tense for a moment when he said it, so he knows she heard him. He pulls back from the kiss and looks down at her, “Rose, you heard me yeah?” he asks.

"Yeah I heard you, but it’s a little late to worry about it now Jon,” she says quietly.

She doesn’t sound upset at all. In fact she’s still got that peaceful smile on her face. She’s pulling him into another kiss and her tongue is in his mouth. He pulls back again, confused by her reaction. She should be livid, angry and screaming at him for being so bloody careless and stupid. She sees the look of confusion on his face, takes a few seconds to gather her thoughts.

“It doesn’t matter now,” she says quietly, “It’s too late to worry about what’s been done and moving forward we’ll use protection yeah? But now...right now just…don’t stop making love to me. Just…don’t stop.”

As soon as he understands that she’s not angry he’s moving inside her again. He wants to go slow but he just can’t. She feels so good…tight and wet and hot and she’s so fucking perfect and she is his. If she’s pregnant all the better and that thought makes him thrust harder, deeper.

She moans his name into his ear and says, “Don’t stop, oh God, fuck Jon, more, harder.”

He’s so close now. Jon reaches with his hand and applies pressure to her clit while bringing his mouth to her ear. She’s grinding into his hand, onto his cock and he’s so close, “Fuck Rose, please cum, please cum, Fuck I…I...Fuck…Rose I love you…please, please stay with me, please, fuck I’m gonna cum Rose, please Love please I can’t…” he pulses inside of her as she clenches around him again and again.

The wave crashing down on them won’t stop. He’s grinding into her, she’s pushing into him and he’s telling her over and over that he loves her, begging her never to leave him. He’s crying again, she pulls his head down and whispers in his ear, “I love you and I’m never going to leave you Jon, never.”

He didn’t think it was possible, but as her words break through his haze he’s cumming again, thrusting as hard as he can into her. It’s just everything, she is everything. She is his and he is hers and all he can think is how right this is before he finally, finally falls down on top of her. It takes a few minutes before either of their breathing returns to normal. As his heart rate slows and the blood stops rushing he rolls off of her onto his back, pulling her to his chest. He needs to ask her, needs to make sure it wasn’t said in the heat of the moment, but he’s scared now.

Jon’s terrified that’s what it was; scared that she doesn’t feel this pull as strongly as he does…but no…because she wasn’t upset about the lack of protection. She said moving forward they’d use it, so that means she plans on doing this again. If she didn’t feel that way about him certainly the thought of having gotten pregnant would have stopped the activities not had them doing it again. He can’t ask her, he wants to but can’t, so he tells her instead.

“I love you Rose. I know it’s too soon and that makes me sound crazy but I do,” he says quietly into her hair.

“I know it’s crazy, I said that earlier. I love you too,” she whispers into his chest.

He cannot stop the smile that spreads across his face when she says that. It wasn’t just in the moment it was real. She knew what she was saying and this is happening. He can feel her wide smile against his chest, doesn’t need to see it, can recognize it now by just the feel of it against his skin. “Rose, if we do not get out of this bed really soon, we won’t be getting out of it at all,” he says to her breathlessly.

“I’m okay with the not at all part. We have a lot of time to make up for and I think I’m going to be all about making up for lost time with you,” she responds in a playful tone.

“Rose Tyler, brilliant and beautiful and mine **(Mine, mine, MINE)**. We have company in our living room waiting for us and Donna is likely here as well. However, if you’d rather stay in bed with me they can all sod off. I’ll lock the door and we can stay here,” he says kissing her neck softly.

She releases a breath into his chest and says, “No, we need to fill Donna in on everything. We ruined the party she planned for us…in several ways actually,” she giggles as her hand starts wandering south of his navel, “So we need to at least speak with her. I need to let her know that I told you. That’s…it’s very important to me. I don’t want her thinking that I’m making her keep secrets about your girlfriend from you. She’s important to you and since we’re to be together I’d like to start off on the right foot with her yeah?”

Jon doesn’t think they are going to make it out of the room tonight. He kisses her, her legs wrapping around his waist, she’s still so wet that he glides easily inside of her and he’s moving again, and it’s just as wonderful as the first time this morning and the last time 5 minutes ago. “Never enough Rose, I don’t think I will ever be able to stop now, touching you, kissing you, feeling you,” he mumbles into her neck.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech in Italics is remembered conversations.

“One day? ONE DAY!” Donna hisses through her teeth smacking Jack on his arm, “How could you let this happen?!”

“Let? You think I LET this happen Donna? He came in and stole her from work, then told me not to come back to the flat,” he snaps back to her.

“Oh for Christ’s sake! Will the pair of you just shut up! This is ridiculous. You do understand that he is 33 and she is 27 yeah? They are not teenagers and WE are not their fucking parents. He’s happy. Nothing else should matter. What exactly is it that has your knickers all knotted anyways? Is it that you think this has happened too fast or is it that he did it all by himself? He didn’t need your party Donna or your interference Jack, is that what’s really bothering the two of you? Because you seem to be focused on the length of time, but seriously? Jack you brought Rory and I here over 4 years ago now. That was supposed to be a one night stand kinda thing and here we are years later, he is your business partner and I am your friend, though that last part may be up for debate if you don’t stop this shit,” Amy tells them both with more than a little irritation.

“I’m worried about him Amy. He doesn’t do this,” Jack tells her hotly.

“No, you’re wrong. He hasn’t done this. That’s a very different thing than not doing it,” she snaps back.

“Amy, you don’t know him the way we do,” Donna says, “and…”

“Listen all of you. Sorry to interrupt,” Rory says with his hand placed out in front of him as if to ward off a violent animal, “We,” he points to Amy and then himself, “may not know Jon as well as you two, but we do know him and care for him. And maybe, just maybe in this situation it’s best that we don’t know him as well. It allows us to be a voice of reason. We get that you’re worried, but really I thought this was what you had wanted for him? They have met, they have obviously gotten on well enough, and wasn’t it just yesterday that you were saying they were perfect for each other? So, with all that said; here’s a thought, maybe we just let them be. If they are to be happy together they have to find their own way and they neither want nor apparently need your babysitting and hand holding shit. Donna, when you slept with Lee on your first date did Jon chastise you for it, make you feel bad; tell you it was too soon? Jack, has he ever one time condemned you for the way you choose to live your life? Ever?”

“Rory, I’m impressed, thank you. I would have thought the scary ginger over there,” Jon points to Amy, “would be the one causing these two to swallow their own tongues,” Jon says, standing in the living room with Rose at his side.

“You’re very welcome Jon,” Rory smiles, “Ouch, Amy what the hell did you just smack me for?” Rory whines.

“I’ve been yelling at them for 2 days now to leave them alone, you get out 2 fucking sentences and become the hero? No, not fair,” she pouts.

“Amy, we appreciate your support as well,” Jon smiles to her, “Right then, let’s have some tea and a talk yeah?”

“I’ll work on tea and you all just, I don’t know go into the living room and get started,” Amy says.

Jon tugs Rose over to the couch to sit down as he waits for his friends to find their places. He looks to Rose and says, “You want me to go first or you?”

“Me…I…she needs to know yeah, maybe it’ll make your part easier,” Rose replies.

“Okay, floor is all yours,” he says.

“Should I…Amy do you want me to wait for you before I start?” Rose hollers into the kitchen.

“Be there in a tick, just getting everything on a tray,” Amy hollers back, then seconds later is standing at the table and placing the tray down. Everyone is silent as they prepare their tea and then Rose starts the conversation.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “So…Donna I’m going to start with you,” Rose says, “I’ve told Jon about knowing you from before. I didn’t feel it would be right for you to have to keep that kind of information from him. Anything that happened in the facility you are free to speak with him about okay?”

“Rose you didn’t have to do that,” Donna says quietly.

“I did though. He would have found out eventually. Things hidden always have a way of coming out and it was better from me than someone or something else yeah? Also, now that we’re…” she pauses looking up at Jon, he smiles down at her and squeezes her hand just a little tighter, “together, (Deep breath in, deep breath out) It’s important that we be allowed some measure of…privacy. This is all so new, not just Jon and I together, but being with someone. It’s very new for both of us. You guys have years of experience that we don’t. We understand that you want to help and think that we need to be monitored, but honestly, trying to make this work under such…scrutiny is going to make it more difficult and this is going to be hard enough to manage for the two of us,” Rose says, sitting back into the couch.

“Questions, comments and or concerns on Rose’s part of the conversation before I begin?” Jon presents to the group.

“Okay then,” Jon says, “If no further questions or comments on Rose’s part, I’ll make this brief.” All of his friends look to him like he’d grown second head when he says that. “Okay, well brief for me anyways,” he says, “1) Rose and I are together. I am sure you have already figured that out on your own. B) We would appreciate if you did not interrogate us on the details. This is all very new for us and it’s a little stressful to have you all so interested in us. Next, Rose will be staying here with me for the foreseeable future. At minimum she will be here until this issue with Mr. Stones is resolved,” he looks to Jack, “That is unless you have issue with her being here Jack, you live here as well and Rose feels you should have a say in this matter. I don’t but she does, so do you have issue with her staying here?”

“No, of course not. She’ll be safest here. This flat is locked down tighter than Fort Knox.” Jack says smiling at them.

“Where’s Clara?” Jon asks.

“Oh, she had a date for the party tonight and since the party was cancelled on short notice she didn’t want to stand him up. Apparently she really likes this Matt guy,” Amy tells the group.

“Alright, we’ll fill her in later I guess. Now before we move the topic from Rose and I, does anyone have anything they feel they need to get off their chest. We’d…Rose and I would like to get everything handled now. It has been an extremely emotional few days for us and after tonight we’d like a break, so if you have anything…anything at all to say or ask this is your one opportunity. After tonight any and all information about our relationship is private. Private between her and me. If we choose to come to you for help, advice or just to talk about us, that is one thing. However we’ll not be grilled and interrogated on the daily, so as I said one time only, here and now. If you want to know, need to know or want or need to say it, whatever it is tonight is your shot to do so,” Jon states with as much authority as he can muster, which to be fair isn’t a lot. He knows he sounds worried and hesitant, because he is.

“Did you actually have sex? If you did was it any good? Did you remember how to do it after so long? Do you plan on doing it again? Rose did you cum? What was that like, 27 first time? Did he know you were a vir…?” Amy trails off as she looks up and sees a look of complete horror on Rose’s face, “Shit, sorry. You said anything,” Amy squeaks out, red faced and embarrassed that she let that out unintentionally.

Jon can feel Rose squeezing his hand tighter and tighter as Amy rambles out questions about what he feels is a very private matter. He and Rose knew they would ask these questions and had discussed this before leaving the room. The best tactic seemed to be just to get everything dealt with tonight...together, before their friends could separate and interrogate them. When Amy asks her last question however; Jon freezes and he feels Rose’s hand clamp down so tight on his hand that he may lose feeling.

Rose’s words from earlier play through his head, “Jon, I’ve never done this,” he turns to her, sees the look of horror on her face and is…well he doesn’t really know what he is, because she told him. She did tell him and before anything had happened, but he honestly believed she meant jumping into bed right away with someone. He didn’t really think she meant she’d never…Oh God...he was terrible. Her first time and there was crying and too fast and no control whatsoever, FUUUUCCCKK!!!!! he screams inside his head.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Continue with your questions Amy, get them all out and then we’ll answer them,” Rose says quietly with her eyes closed.

“Uh…I’m done, no more questions from me,” Amy says back just as quietly.

“Yes, Yes, Yes,” Rose stops and tries to remember the other questions, “Yes, Yes, and it was scary and terrifying and wonderful and sweet and…perfect.” Rose’s eyes stay closed during her response to Amy. Jon is holding her very tightly into his side, applying a gentle pressure to her hand, enough to let her know he is here and this is just as uncomfortable for him as it is for her.

“Moving on,” Jon says pointing to Donna who is sitting in-between Amy and Jack.

“How did this happen?” Donna asks.

“Uh…as in the events that transpired to…um…move things along so quickly or uh…Donna you’re not asking for actual details of the…err…act itself right?” Jon asks, horribly embarrassed. He's blushing all the way from the tips of his ears to his toes. They had agreed before leaving the room that they would answer any and all questions from their friends tonight, but he hadn’t expected they would want those details.

“Eww no! Just no Jon. You sicko, I don’t want to know that about you. You’re as close to a brother as I’ve ever had,” Donna says making a sick face, “No. I just mean it seems a bit fast is all. For two people who went so long without being intimate with anyone, it just seems fast, so why the rush after so long?”

“We just know Donna, it’s hard to explain. We are still having a difficult time explaining it to each other and ourselves. If you all are gobsmacked by this, just take a moment to imagine how it is for Rose and me. In one day, 24 hours we both went from thinking we were going to die alone to…this. And where this is lovely, wonderful, fantastic and brilliant, it’s also terrifying, scary and difficult to figure out. Let’s not forget that this is the first serious relationship I have been in,” Jon says quickly, as he kicks into babble and rant mode, “Not in 15 years but ever. I don’t know if you call it love at first sight, or fate, or destiny or Karma…it just is. I love her, she loves me, the world is round and gravity keeps us from floating away. It’s like something inside just clicked on. Something that had been missing was returned or a piece of me that was lost was found. Rose is…everything. This, what we have is…everything Donna, do you understand?”

Donna looks at Rose pressed into Jon’s side and her head on his chest. Her eyes still closed and her body language seems tense, but she has a smile on her face. The kind of smile that tells her Rose is more than pleased and agreeable to Jon’s explanation and then she looks at Jon, who is looking at Rose. Donna doesn’t think she has ever seen that kind of peace surround him before, even when they were younger before their parents’ deaths. He seems calm, peaceful…happy. “I don’t need to understand it Jon. I can see it, the proof of it. I’m so happy for you both,” Donna says.

Jon looks to her, smiles and tells her, “Thank you,” silently.

“Jack, you’re up next,” Jon says as he cringes. He can feel Rose giggle slightly and silently against him at his reaction to it being Jack’s turn. When he looks down, he sees her eyes are still closed. He bends down and whispers in her ear, “Still okay? We can stop this whenever you’d like Rose. We are under no obligation to tell them any of this.”

“No, it’s better to get it all over with now. It’s already been a long day, but at the same time it’s already been a long day ya know? Might as well get it all over now,” she quietly says back to him.

Jon kisses her, small, sweet and so perfect. He forgets as his lips touch hers that they are surrounded by people, forgets that their lovely and well-meaning friends are interrogating him and his girlfriend about their sex life, forgets about Jimmy and the havoc he caused today and there is just her…just Rose. He pulls back, feels the electricity coursing through him and he just wants to take her back to bed and never, ever, leave their room again. “Jack you’re up,” he says quietly. Prozac, Ativan, Xanax, she is more calming for him than any drug he’d ever taken he thinks again.

Jack watches Jon lean down and whisper into her ear, watches as Rose replies quietly. He doesn’t know what they are saying, can’t hear it because they are whispering, but he doesn’t need to. It’s not so much the words that are important in this exchange playing out before him. Jon loves her. It’s not that Jon thinks he loves her because he’s been attention starved for so long, or because he’s riding high on adrenaline, he truly has fallen arse over teakettle in love with Rose. Jack’s never seen Jon look at anyone like that, the way he’s looking at Rose. He’s not even sure he’s ever looked at anyone like that. Jack of course has questions, lewd ones, funny ones, maybe a few serious ones, but as he watches Jon kiss Rose, watches his best friend transform right in front of him to something he never thought he’d see; Jack squashes any questions he may have. None of them are important now. This is the first time he’s gotten to see them together and Jon’s right. This just is. Yes, it’s crazy. Yes, it’s fast, but it’s real. He loves her and she loves him and that’s all that really matters Jack thinks.

“I have no questions about this part of the conversation. Some questions about how exactly we are to be handling this Jimmy issue, but not about this,” Jack says.

Jon looks shocked for a moment and Jack smiles at him. He knows what Jon was expecting but Jack wouldn’t feel right about asking those questions now. Not with what just transpired in front of them. Jon’s right; this is private between him and Rose and it should stay that way...at least for now.

“Rory?” asks Rose.

“Nope, we’ve been telling them to leave you alone since you nicked her from work. Whatever you two do is your own business. Should you choose to share that information with us great, if not that’s great as well. The only question I would have had is if you were happy. The both of you, but the answer to that is evident so no, I have no question regarding this matter,” as he finishes talking Amy reaches up and kisses him on the cheek.

“Okay last shot, any lingering issues on the topic of Rose and me?” Jon poses to the group before them. The resounding silence let’s him know that he can change topics and he breathes a sigh of relief. He feels the tension leave Rose’s body as she falls further into his side; she’s relieved this is over too.

“There is nothing that can be done on the issue of Mr. Stones tonight. Jack, Rose will not be coming back to the shop until this is resolved. I’m sorry, I know she’s your manager and you need her to run the shop, but it’s just not safe right now. Donna, I’ll be taking some vacation time from the office. Please, if you could go in for just a short time tomorrow; handle the paperwork and finding someone to fill in. I know its Saturday and I’m sorry, but again Rose comes first now and,” Jon’s interrupted by a chorus of laughter from his friends, “Yes, yes; very humorous. If you could act your age rather than like pre-teens hearing their first dirty joke that would be lovely. As I was saying…I am needed here to handle some issues so I will be needing time off. Thank you in advance for your help and understanding in this matter. Now, it has been a very long day and Rose is barely awake. We will reconvene tomorrow and discuss how to handle Mr. Stones,” Jon stands, pulling Rose up with him, “Say goodnight Rose.”

She looks around to her friends and looks back at Jon, “Goodnight Rose,” she quips at him while waving to the room of friends. Jon smiles and a small giggle escapes his throat at her response. He picks her up, throws her over his shoulder and marches out of the room with her laughing. The four remaining friends sit in silence as they watch Jon and Rose head off to his room amid giggling and smiles. Shocked, they are all astounded at the turn of events and the change in their friends’ behavior.

“That is going to take some adjusting to,” Rory states.

“Yeah, that is just weird, lovely but weird. I mean is he still Jon, is she still Rose, because I don’t have any clue who those two people were. They seem so happy. I’m not used to that. As long as I’ve known either of them they’ve both been well, unhappy I guess,” Amy mumbles out.

“Oh they’re still them,” Donna assures the group, “Just them happy. It’s wonderful to see. I haven’t seen Jon smile like that since before our parents died. It’s a relief honestly. I’ve been so worried about him for so long. And Rose, she’s had a really rough go of it. I was there. I saw the aftermath of what I assume was this Jimmy bloke. It was, well I’d honestly never seen anything like it. I couldn’t believe at the time she was even alive with her injuries. He split her skull right open and sliced through her abdomen like a Christmas ham. We didn’t…when she came to the rehab facility we weren’t sure she was going to live. Then, when she made it through that we were sure she’d never walk, talk, feed or be able to care for herself again. She was only 3 weeks into her therapy when she stopped taking any meds. She was…is…so strong. Watching her get through that, alone too. Not one person came to see her the entire time she was there, no one, not a single person visited her,” Donna says sadly.

Jack is wavering somewhere between smug, because he knew they would be right for each other, jealous, because he’s been in love with Jon for 15 years and Rose for 3, sadness that they had to get to this point completely alone and relief that what he and Jon had been through had not completely destroyed his friend. He thinks back to what he saw play out between Jon and Rose on the couch earlier and he wonders if he truly is in love with either of them. He wonders if he has ever really been in love. Jack cannot recall a single instance when someone has looked at him the way Jon and Rose looked at each other. What they feel was beyond obvious. It’s not a spur of the moment high or fleeting excitement at discovering something or someone new. No, what he saw was powerful. It’s the kind of love that can change a person’s existence, set wrongs to right. When he saw them together tonight Jack saw a forever he has never even dreamed of. That thought alone is enough for him to let go of anything other than the happiness he has that they found each other.

“Look kids, tomorrow may be a potentially long day for me so I’m gonna hit the hay. Amy, I know it’s your day off but I’ll need you at the shop with Clara tomorrow please and Rory it may be best if you come here. I don’t know what Jon has planned for this Jimmy character and we may need medical attention. Donna, always a pleasure,” he says, heading to his room.

Jack enters his room and strips down. He pulls out an old picture from his desk and stares at it, River. He wonders if she was his one shot at really being in love or if he just looks back on it like that. Did he really love her or did he tell himself he did so that what happened wouldn’t be as awful to swallow? He has guilt over a great many things that happened that year and he’s unsure if telling River he loved her should be one of them.

At the time he believed it and she needed to hear it. When Davros came and unchained him from the wall he had no idea what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t to be led into a room with posh furnishings and the largest gaudiest bed he’d ever seen. River, strapped by her hands and ankles to the posts of the bed, naked with a cloth sack over her head. She didn’t look inured physically and Jack was relieved to see her alive. It had been 3 days since he had seen either River or Jon. Davros explained to Jack what he wanted and at first Jack said no; but Davros made it clear that either he was going to do it or someone else was. He then put a DVD in the player on the desk and it started playing on the television.

Jon; it was Jon on the tape in the same position as River is now only he was strapped down on his stomach instead of his back. Jack tries to turn away from the screen but River pays for that. He gets it now, understands what’s going on. Either he does what he’s told or instead of Jon on the video it will be him and if he doesn’t comply River will be punished because of it. Jack watches the video play out and can hear Davros on it, ordering commands and explaining what he likes, what he wants to see. Jack watches as Jon is raped and beaten time after time, until he is an unconscious, bleeding mess. He looks to River on the bed tied in the same way Jon was on the video, he’s going to be made to do that to her. He’s not sure if Jon refused and that was his punishment or if Davros had some other reason. Regardless, he’s seen his future now. He makes his way over to River, pulls the sack from her head and looks her in the eyes.

“What do you want me to do River?” Jack asks her, tears falling from his eyes. She whimpers, she’s trying not to cry but it’s a losing battle. “River, I’ll not do this unless you tell me to, but if it isn’t me he will have someone else do it,” Jack cries to her. He doesn’t want to do this, not even sure if he can. He’s never hit a woman before and he has certainly never had non-consensual sex with anyone. She closes her eyes and shakes her head yes at him. She knows what’s going to happen he thinks and at least he’s not raping her, not really, he asked, gave her a choice. Davros comes to him then and injects him with something, he has no idea what it is but the reaction is immediate in his system.

Jack feels both incredibly high and angry at once. The high he thinks is like the first time he did heroin and the rage…he’s never felt rage like this. He tries to control it, tries walking away, punching walls and doors anything to release it, but it’s not working, not helping…and then nothing. He only knows what happened next because he watched it. Davros forced him to watch it. He saw himself raping her, beating River and listening to every disgusting command he was given.

River was gone shortly after that. She only lasted just a few more weeks but Jack remembers seeing the vacant look in her eyes. He thinks about Rose and how she had that same look when she talked about Jimmy. The look had been brief but it was there and he wonders if Jon has seen it. He doesn’t think so because if he had Jimmy would be dead already. Jack stands from his bed and places the picture back in his desk, he doesn’t really feel anything now when he looks at it. That part of his life, he is so far removed from it now and he wonders what kind of person that makes him as he makes his way back to his bed.

Jon enters the bedroom with an armful of giggling Rose thrown over his shoulder. “That went better than expected,” he says smiling, tossing her onto the bed, “I had been expecting…well I wasn’t quite sure what I was expecting but it wasn’t that. I’d say they let us off fairly easy wouldn’t you?”

“Yep,” she responds popping the p at the end, standing from the bed, “I uh…I need something to sleep in again. Sorry. I just…well haven’t had a chance to get any of my things yeah? Been a bit…busy,” she grins at him.

Her tongue is poking through her teeth at the corner of her mouth and Jon is once again left breathless. He’s completely consumed with the need to touch her, hasn’t stopped thinking about it since they left the room earlier. He has a fleeting thought that the reason is likely due to the fact that the conversation revolved solely around that: Him touching Her. Jon makes his way over to where she’s standing and folds himself around her, oxygen…he can breathe again.

“I could of course loan you something to wear Rose, but I’d be lying if I said I was happy about it,” he tells her against the skin of her neck where his head is buried. He remembers what Amy said then, about Rose being a virgin. He thinks she’s not, not in the most clinical sense anyways. “Rose,” he says quietly, “Can I ask you about what Amy said tonight? I know it’s been a long day and if you’d rather not talk about it now or at all that’s…that’s okay too.” He feels her breath catch when he asks, feels the tension fill her body, but rather than moving away from him she tries to burrow further into his chest. She doesn’t want to talk about it, he can tell and he doesn’t want to make her. “It’s alright Rose, you don’t have to talk about it, really,” he whispers to her.

Rose pulls back from him then and looks right into his eyes. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Amy was wrong and right at the same time. Technically I am not a virgin. Jimmy…he…well he took that from me,” (Deep breath in, deep breath out). He looks, sees her eyes are closed and she continues talking, “I’ve never…well until you,” she amends, “I had never been with anyone…consensually. So, when I said I’d never done this earlier, what I meant was this,” she points to him and to herself, “What we are doing. Being together in a relationship a real one, I’ve never done this before. The question of my virginity is not up for debate, I know that. I know what the specific definition of it is, but at the same time…I feel like I am…or was rather until today.” (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I met Jimmy when I was 16 and I’d never had a boyfriend before. After my dad died my Mum and I…we didn’t get on to well and I started acting out. Just normal kid stuff yeah, smoking cigarettes, drinking beers and the like, but then I met Jimmy. He was older and I thought he was so cool. He was in a band and played guitar and he said he liked me. I um…when he…well I was hanging out with him and his mates for a bit and everything was okay, bit of partying and such but nothing had happened between us. He had other girls he was seeing, so at the time we were just mates hanging out. It was an escape from mum,” she says.

Jon’s not said anything. He doesn’t want to interrupt her but at the same time he doesn’t want her to feel pushed to tell him either. “Rose, you don’t have to continue. I can…infer what happened from there and not only do I not need the details; I don’t want you to have to go through it again just to tell me,” he says softly, moving his hands to cradle her face. Her eyes are still closed but she’s not crying, not even flushed with emotion as she recalls the events for him; so strong…his Rose.

“No, it’s alright. You may not want to know now Jon or even need to, but we have to be realistic about this stuff yeah? I would like to say that the past is the past and it’s over, but the reality is once you go through that…it’s never over, not really. That’s the killer about this type of abuse. It’s not the moment that it happens; it’s living through the moments afterwards. So you may not want or need to know this moment…but eventually…realistically if we’re going to be together…” (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “There are things that will happen. Life happens…bad days…they happen. Right now this is new and exciting and we’re riding a high, but one day soon that’s going to fade, even just some and real life will intrude upon this happy bubble that we’re building. Wouldn’t it be better to know ahead of time why my behavior may be…off…or I don’t know…why I cry sometimes for what seems to be no reason at all. Wouldn’t it be better to get the information from me now, rather than trying to figure it out when that happens?” she says quietly but with conviction.

She’s right about this, he knows that she is. It’s better to get everything out now rather than later. Right now she’s happy and feels safe, now is the time. “Okay,” he says softly, “Tell me as much or as little as you want.”

She pulls back from him and walks over to the bed. He grabs her some clean nightclothes from his dresser and hands them to her. “I’m just going to pop to the loo real fast, teeth and what not. But when I get back we’ll talk yeah,” she asks.

“Yep, I’ll use the loo in the hall. Do you want anything? Tea or water? Beer?” he offers.

“Maybe some water thanks…lots to say so might need that,” she mumbles, closing the door behind her.

Jon grabs his own jimjams and heads to the loo. When he comes back he has a tray with water and tea, Rose is already propped up in the center of the bed. She looks okay…worried, a little scared…fragile he thinks. She looks fragile. For the first time when he looks at her he can see she’s broken. He wishes he hadn’t asked, wants to go back in time and stop himself and wants her smiling and giggling at him. He crosses the room, sets the tray down and sits beside her on the bed, he stay quiet, she’ll start when she’s ready.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) Rose closes her eyes and lets the memories wash over her. “So, I had been hanging out with Jimmy and his mates for about 4 months when it started. By that time I had smoked a little weed and had some beers and what not, but that was it…nothing else. Jimmy came back one night from a gig and he had scored some heroin. He wanted me to do it and I said no. I was scared yeah? I’d never done nothin’ harder than weed. He uh…at first he tried teasin’ me. Calling’ me a chicken and a little girl. When that didn’t work he tried guilt trippin' me,” she says.

 _“I got this for you Rose, for us. I thought it could loosen you up ya know. I know you want to be me with and you know I don’t do virgins. This will help,"_ Jimmy had said to her.

“I didn’t though; want to be with him like that. I just wanted a place to escape my Mum yeah? But he…he decided that I did want him…like that…even though I told him I didn’t. I said no. I didn’t want to do the drugs and he got real mad. He said I wasted his money since he only got it to be with me. I told him I’d give him the money back and he just got angrier…and he…he hit me then…for the first time. There were a lot of firsts for me that night,” she sighs out.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) Rose opens her eyes and look at Jon, “You okay? Do you want me to stop or continue because it only gets worse from here,” she tells him.

“I want whatever you want Rose. If you want to stop that’s okay, if you want or feel the need to continue, I’m here and I’ll listen as long as you’d like,” he says back quietly.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) She closes her eyes again. Jon wonders if she does that because she doesn’t want to see him when she tells her story or if worse…she’s watching the memories play out like a movie in her head. He hopes it’s the first one, but believes it’s the second. He’s made no move to touch her; unsure if she’d rather do this without touching him or having him close to her, so he waits as she prepares to go on.

“So he hit me…a lot actually that night. Once I was almost unconscious he wrapped something around my arm and…injected me…with heroin. At first he was freaking out because he thought maybe he’d given me too much. I was…unresponsive to his…attentions. Really, I was just so high I had no clue what was happening. When I came round sometime the next day…I was…naked and…and covered in sick on the floor of his flat. I felt terrible and uh…crawled into the loo. Got sick for a bit then climbed into the shower. Everything hurt and I didn’t know why…couldn’t remember anything after telling Jimmy no. I uh…cleaned myself up and realized I couldn’t see out of one eyes and I was covered in blood. I stepped out of the shower and looked in the mirror. I was so fucked up I didn’t even recognize myself. I wrapped a towel around me and went looking for my clothes. I wanted to leave…just wanted out. I had no memory of what happened but obviously it wasn’t good if I looked like that. I Found Jimmy in his room and he laughed when he looked at me. He…uh said he had a… present for me.”

 _“Good afternoon Rose. I was beginning to think maybe you were a goner. Glad to see you made it through the night, body dumps suck. I have a gift for you. I’m sure your memories are a little messed up from last night, so I had our evening captured for you. I know you wouldn’t want to miss out on your first time Rose, our first time,”_ Jimmy had said while laughing at her.

“He…he…handed me his phone and it had a video cued up. I pressed play. It was exactly what he said it was. I tried not to watch, but he just laughed at me and grabbed my head…told me if I didn’t open my eyes and watch it he’d…he’d do it all again without the heroin so I could remember,” she stops and opens her eyes looking to Jon, checking to see he’s okay…so brave…his Rose.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) She closes her eyes and says, “There’s years of nights just like that one, well worse but the outcomes the same…so I’m not going to go into an account of every time, no point really. Highlights: I became addicted to heroin, Jimmy kept me around to use as a punching bag and…stress relief. I tried to escape a few times but never managed to do so. Those nights were the worst. He’d be so angry that I’d tried to run, there were more than a few times I was sure he’d kill me…and there were more than a few times I begged him to do just that.” (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “This brings us to the last night…which of course is the important bit. Do you know why it’s the important bit Jon?” she asks.

“Yes, it’s was the last night, it was the night you got out, the night you realized you lived and were finally free,” he states confidently but softly.

Rose knows there’s a story there but now is not the time. “Yes,” she whispers to him. Her eyes are still closed (deep breath in, deep breath out), “I had decided that I was going to fight until he either killed me, I killed him or I got away. In the end he thought he’d killed me but a lady across the street…she heard him talkin' to his mates at the bar.”

_“I need help man…that blonde estate trash whores locked up in my flat dead as shit, need her body dumped; trash can or maybe the water.”_

“So the lady called the cops, they came and arrested Jimmy. He refused to give his information but the bloke he was chatting up about the body dump didn’t want to go to jail and gave the cops all the information he had. An ambulance came, brought me to A&E and 2 months later I woke up. Spent a fair bit of time in rehab…that’s where I met Donna. Got better…got clean…got released and 2 weeks after I left rehab Jimmy was sentenced, court case was over and I moved to Cardiff. A while after that I started working at H&W and now…just over 3 years later…here we are. I mean there is of course stuff…other stuff…but that’s the important bits. Stuff you’ll be glad to know when bad days happen. They don’t…I don’t want you scared thinking I have more bad days than good cause I don’t. The bad days are few and far in-between, but they do pop up occasionally. Now…” she stops, opens her eyes and says, “if you’d rather not take this kind of baggage on, I’ll understand. If…if you want me to go…”

“WHAT! Go! No…God No Rose. Nothing’s changed for me and you said forever. You said that earlier…I…no...Nothing’s changed for me Rose. I still want that, want this with you. Okay?” he stammers panicked and flushed.

He sees it then, the crinkle in her brow and the trembling in her bottom lip. She’s trying so hard not to give in to the tears and the fear and the pain. He reaches for her slowly still unsure if it’s okay to touch her, but she doesn’t stop him. Once he’s pulled her to him she burrows into his chest, he pulls her into his lap and she cries.

As he’s holding her he realizes she lived like that for 5 years. 5 fucking years of her life she was tortured, beaten, raped and held captive by some sick psycho fuck. Her history so closely resembles his and Jack’s that he thinks he may be sick. 5 years…he doesn’t know how she survived that long. River only lasted a few months…maybe. Him and Jack escaped after a year…but 5 years…no…he wouldn’t have lasted that long. He’d have taken River’s way out long before that. She truly has no idea how strong she is, how brave and brilliant she is. For her to have lived through that…for so long…and to still be…her. Beyond living through Jimmy himself for so long, there was rehab and getting off heroin that he addicted her to, re-learning how to live and breathe and walk and talk and eat, facing him in court and carving out a life for herself after all of that.

She never had anyone…ever…through all of that she was alone. Jack had him…and he had Jack. He had Jack to put back together and focus on and he was there with him. Jon was never, never alone. She’s had no one this whole time. No one was there for her during the abuse…he had Jack then too…and no one had been there after…no one…alone...she lived through all of that alone. Also, Jimmy is still alive. He’s still torturing her, still punishing her, as is evident with the attack today. Davros is dead and gone. Jack and Jon will never have to worry about him again, but Jimmy? He’s only in prison…he could get out on parole or be released early…or escape even. He holds tighter to her as the sobs and grief and fear wrack through her body, and he cries with her…for her.

“He’ll never hurt you again Rose. I promise you I will keep you safe, nothing…no one and nothing will take you from me,” he says to her sobbing frame. He whispers how much he loves her, needs her, how strong and brave and brilliant she is, how perfect she is to him…for him. He says these things over and over until she finally cries herself out in his arms and in his lap and she falls asleep. He gently places her in the bed and a small whimper comes from her as he removes himself. He pulls the covers over her small frame and heads to the kitchen. He needs a beer, needs the familiarity of it to calm himself before he comes to lay in bed with her. He’s vibrating with fury at this point and he couldn’t lie still enough to allow her to sleep.

As he rounds the corner from the hallway a sense of relief washes through him that their friends have gone. He doesn’t know what he looks like just now but he’s sure there would be questions if they saw him. Just as he’s reaching in the fridge for a beer, “Yeah, I could use one of those as well. It’s been a hell of a day,” he hears Jack behind him. He reaches in for another beer and passes it to Jack without turning to him; Jack takes the beer and moves to the bar to sit down. Jon turns and grabs a stool and pulls it around so he can sit across from Jack; he wants to be able to see the hall in case Rose comes out. Jack looks at Jon, he can see he’s been crying and worse than that his entire body is faintly trembling and the look on his face, Jack has only seen that look on Jon once before. It was the day they escaped. He doesn’t know the details he never asked for them and Jon has never offered, but Jack knows that look. “What’s up Jon?” he asks worried.

He doesn’t look at Jack when he responds. “Rose,” he croaks out. Jon clears his throat and starts again. “Did you…Jack do you know what happened to her?” he asks quietly.

“She told us the basics. Dad died when she was young, bad relationship with her mom, worse relationship with this Jimmy guy, but she didn’t get specific,” Jack responds taking a long swallow of his beer and shrugging his shoulders.

“Right…yeah…no specifics,” Jon mumbles back.

“What the hell is going on? You tossed her over your shoulder caveman style 2 hours ago and the both of you were fine,” he queries, clearly confused.

“She…Jack I…” Jon stops and closes his eyes, (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “What you and I went through…Rose…it’s…her history…it’s the same,” he says quietly but with an edge to his voice.

“What do you mean the same?” Jack asks and he can feel his temper rising, tries to control it as images of River flash through his mind.

“I mean…what happened to us…happened to her. Drugged, beaten and raped…recorded…and made to watch what she couldn’t remember…only,” (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “she was alone Jack…completely alone. We had each other both during and after. She…she had no one. Not during, not after…she was alone for all of it and…” he’s not sure he wants to tell Jack the last part…how long it was for her. They made it through a year and escaped but Rose, “she lived like that for 5 years Jack. Jimmy held her captive in some run down flat, hooked on heroin, beating and raping her for 5 years. Rose, she...she tried to escape one night and he thought he’d killed her. A neighbor heard him on the phone talking about…about dumping her body in a...a...trash can and called the cops…that’s how he was busted. For us everything ended the day we got out. Davros was dead. Jimmy though...he’s very much alive and is still fucking with her. He may not personally be doing it, but he sent that man into her flat to destroy it, destroy her. Jimmy paid him to…to…rape her. He was trying to…when I came in. I…Jack…I…I have to keep her safe. I can’t let anything happen to her again. I don’t know how she’s managed to keep going but she did and she did that alone for so long. I cannot let anything hurt her again. Maybe…she was right. Maybe we should just leave, go somewhere new, like we did when we left London yeah?” Jon says rapidly, obviously panicked.

“No. You don’t need to run and neither does she. We just need to handle the situation,” Jack says pulling his phone from his pocket and tapping on the keys, “Be ready to go at 7 am. We’re going to pay Jimmy a visit, same as we had decided on. She’s still the same Rose she was before you knew Jon, that hasn’t changed,” Jack states firmly.

“But no…don’t you see? She’s not the same Rose as she was 3 hours ago. That Rose had a bum family and a shit relationship to move forward from. This Rose had 5 years of brutal torture and abuse, not to mention rehab and facing her captor in court and all of it alone. So no Jack, this is not the same Rose Tyler from 3 hours ago. This one…this Rose Tyler is better, stronger and…mine…still mine...after everything she’s gone through. She…we…I made love to her. Several times actually and she…she never shied away or froze or stopped. Rose had never been with anyone before…before Jimmy and she’s not been with anyone since,” Jon says trying to keep his emotions in check. He’s pretty sure it’s not working; he can feel the wetness on his cheeks.

Jon waits for Jack to process everything he just told him, watches him go through it in his head and sees the spark of understanding hit his eyes. “Right, she’s never been with anyone willingly before, until today. I knew that but yeah, makes things a bit different doesn’t it? Still doesn’t change the plan, we go tomorrow to see Jimmy. Go back to bed. Hold Rose and get some sleep,” Jack states, draining his beer and heading to his room.

Jon drains what’s left in his bottle, grabs Jack’s and tosses them both into the recycling and heads into the loo in the hall. He wants to brush his teeth again, doesn’t want Rose to smell beer on his breath when she wakes. He thinks she’s probably had enough of that. He steps into the loo, brushes his teeth and heads back to their room. Jon can see her in the bed, small and pale, still puffy from her crying. She’s still gorgeous, more so now that he knows what she lived through.

He thinks about what she said earlier; about how maybe she was always meant to be broken, broken at the right times, in the right places and the right ways so that she could be his and he could be hers. She’s right. If they hadn’t been broken, they’d have never met and they wouldn’t be the people they are now. Jon slides into bed and wraps Rose in his arms as closely to himself as he can and attempts to sleep. Long day tomorrow, long drive and he’ll need to figure out what he’s going to do by the time they reach the prison. He’ll need someone here with Rose, just for precaution. Amy will be at the shop, Rory will be with them in the car, Donna will be at the school and Clara will be at work as well. He can’t very well take Rose with him but he can’t leave her alone either. He decides Rory is the easiest to maneuver. Jon doesn’t see any reason they will need medical attention. Jimmy’s in a prison after all and Rose trusts Rory, as does Jon. So, Rory it is he thinks as he lies there trying to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Jon’s sleeping so lightly he hears Jack’s alarm go off. He’s thankful; he’d forgotten set his own. He’s still wrapped around Rose and he takes just a moment to enjoy that. He’s got a rough day ahead of him. He’s going to have to do things he never thought he would…again. So Jon pulls her closer, she stretches against him and he smiles. She’s like a cat he thinks, the way she stretches and moves.

“Hmmph…what times it?” Rose slurs out.

“About 6 am, but you have nowhere to go or be today so go back to sleep Love,” he whispers into her ear.

“Where you goin'?” she asks sleepily.

“I’m…Jack and I are going into London today. We’re to speak with Jimmy, see if we can come to an…agreement. I told you last night Rose, I’ll not be letting him or anyone or anything take you from me. Rory is going to be here with you today. Please if you leave the flat, take Rory with you,” Jon asks pleadingly. He knows she won’t be happy with the request.

He places his hands on her shoulders to prevent her from getting up and waving off the protest he can see forming. “Rose Love, he had you attacked yesterday. Please, please be reasonable. I’m not asking you to not leave. Only to make sure if you leave you are not alone okay? I…I love you Rose and if you won’t take Rory with you for your own safety then do it for me. I…Rose I need you to listen to what I am about to say alright?” he says softly.

"Okay," she replies, equally soft.

Jon crawls on top of her fitting himself between her legs, bends down and kisses her, presses his forehead to hers and closes his eyes. “Rose I…I have our whole lives planned. Not the small details of course because well…we haven’t discussed those yet. Big things though Rose Tyler...those I have planned. I want to have holidays and pets, a life…our life. I want that with you. I’ve not explained this properly and I still am unsure how to but I’m going to try again yeah? I don’t know if it’s just you or if it’s because of my own past…but whenever I…can’t actually see you I start to panic. I…think you’ve left or something has happened. I know it’s crazy. I can’t do this without you anymore and if you were to leave or something was to happen to you…I’d not come back from that Rose…never. Do you understand?” he asks.

She thinks she does. The idea of leaving him yesterday caused a very real, sick feeling throughout her entire body, so she thinks she gets it. It’s Rory after all. It’s not as if he hired armed guards to watch her and he’s not trying to lock her in. He wants her safe; since he cannot be here to make sure she is he wants a friend to stay with her. Jimmy did have her attacked yesterday, of course that scared him. He knows everything now and he’s still here. He still wants her. This is a small thing and she needs to learn to not be so stubborn. They are in a relationship and he wants to take care of her.

“Yes, I understand,” she says, reaching up and running her fingers through his hair, pulling him down to kiss her. Rose hears him whimper and she can feel the wetness of his tears on her face. She pulls back from the kiss and tells him, “I’ll stay with Rory okay. I’ll not be alone until after Jimmy has been dealt with and even then…I’ll not be alone. I’ll have you and you can be with me as much as you like Jon. If you want to be by my side 24 hours a day every day, that’s okay too…better than actually…well except for loo breaks, because I’m weird but I’m not that weird,” she parrots his response from yesterday.

“Rose,” he groans low, throaty and then his mouth is on hers, her tongue sliding against his. Her hands in his hair, then removing his shirt and her legs are pushing down his jimjams. Jon’s trying to be gentle, trying to not just rip the fucking clothes off of her that are in his way. She understood, she’s not upset, she’s okay with his possessiveness and need to always, always be around her. He’s so hard it has become painful. Jon’s not sure when their clothes were removed but they’re gone and he reaches down running his fingers through her folds.

“Unghh,” he hears as his fingers swipe along her slit. She’s so fucking responsive to his touch and she’s already so wet. Her hand grabs his cock sliding it through her wetness, placing him at her entrance. “Please Jon, please,” he hears at his ear. He’s inside of her again, thrusting harder, deeper and she’s babbling into his ear. Incoherent sounds and his name and, “please love me, please love me, please love me,” over and over until it’s just electricity and sound and light and heat and wet and Rose and him. “Love you, love you, love you,” he keeps saying in her ear. Her words reduced to whimpers and he can hear himself, “mine, mine, mine, love you Rose always, always love you, tell me Rose please, please say it, please,” he feels her body go firm beneath him and her muscles spasm around him.

Rose pulls him down onto her fully, grabs his face in both her hands, looks him right in the eyes and tells him, “Yours Jon, I’m yours always.”

Jon hears her say it and he loses any shred of control he may have had. His thrusts deeper, harder, faster and “more, more, more, yes, please never, never, never leave me,” falling from his lips as his orgasm violently crashes through him and he falls onto her.

Jon pulls out of her, rolls onto his side and Rose follows him, curling into his side as his arm wraps around her. “Don’t go Jon,” he hears her whisper as she’s trying to regain her breath. He can’t talk yet and he holds her tighter waiting for the aftershocks to stop and his breathing to come back to normal.

Once his respiration has leveled out he says, “Rose, I have to do this. I have to go and try to talk sense into him. I’ll not have him continuing his harassment of you or anyone one we care about; cause that’s the thing with these guys yeah? It’s never just about the one person they’re obsessed with.”

She knows he’s right. It’s why she hasn’t contacted he mum after all this time and now she has let more people into her life. Jack, Rory, Amy, Clara; they are all in danger because of her. If she hadn’t let them in, let them close they would be fine. Stupid, she is so fucking stupid. Stupid, Stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN!

He’s watching it happen right in front of him, watching her spiral down into doubt and shame. “Rose, Jimmy is not your fault. He is a sick, weak excuse for a man who gets his jollies off on hurting other people. You didn’t do that to him. You were just unlucky enough to get caught by him. That’s all, you have no culpability here do you understand?” he says adamantly.

“Jon, he’s going to hurt you. You don’t know him like I do. You have no clue what he’s capable of when he thinks someone’s taken what’s his. He still thinks I’m his property, even at his last parole hearing he said it…said he’d never let me go and I’d always be his,” she rushes out, visibly terrified.

Jon notices she’s not crying, but she is shaking…her entire body is trembling. “Rose, we have to deal with this. I cannot just allow him to continue harassing us and I’ll not be alone. Jack will be there too,” Jon says.

“Do you think you’re the only one who doesn’t want to be separated?” she asks, her voice rising in pitch and volume, “That I don’t get sick just thinking about you being gone? Yesterday when I said I needed to run…it was like…I don’t know really. I don’t have anything to compare it too. I just knew…I felt it through the whole of my body…like a sickness had overcome me at the thought of leaving you.”

“Rose I cannot take you with me and this situation has to be dealt with. We cannot spend the rest of our lives living in fear of when this arse is going to turn up or send someone after you. If you meant what you said, if you want that same life with me that I want with you then this must be handled,” Jon turns so that he can see her properly, “Rose, I am going to ask you something and you have to be 100% honest with me, do you understand? No saying what you think I need to hear or anything else.”

“Yeah, course. I’ll not lie to you Jon,” she says rather irritated that he would even accuse her of that.

“No Rose, I…I don’t think you would lie to me, maybe just be less…forthright with the answer to spare my feelings, but I don’t think you would lie. Do you want to have children Rose?” he says quickly. Jon had avoided this topic earlier. Well…he avoided saying anything about children out loud. He feels her breathing stop completely, “If you don’t that’s okay too, it’s not a requirement of us being together, but if you do want children…Jimmy needs to be sorted.” He doesn’t say why, she’s a bright gir…err woman (Fuck he needs to get that down or Donna’s going to keep hitting him) she’ll work it out.

She lays there next to him and really considers what he’s saying. Does she want kids? She’d always thought she would have them, always thought she’d be a mum someday. She knows that 27 is not old by any means, but her window of opportunity for having children is closing. She only has a few years left. “Yes,” she says, “I do want kids…so that means Jimmy has to be situated. We can’t have that life until he is. I understand Jon…I just don’t like it.”

“I don’t like it either. Don’t you think I’d rather,” he rolls her on her back fitting himself between her legs, “stay here, in this bed, making love to my beautiful girlfriend instead of being locked in a car with Jack all day and dealing with some sick psycho in a prison? But life rarely gives you what you want. I want you Rose and if managing Jimmy is the price I have to pay for our life than I’m happy to do it. Spending the next 50 hopefully 60 years with you is worth that much at minimum. I’ll go, I’ll deal with Jimmy and you’ll hang out with our good friend Rory. Then, I’ll be home and this will be over yeah,” he says bending down to kiss her.

Knock, knock, knock. “Jon, you awake? We need to be going soon. Coffees on in the kitchen, get your scrawny ass moving,” Jack hollers through the door.

“Yep be right out, 5 minutes. Is Rory here yet?” Jon replies.

“Yes, Rory is here and Rory is not yet awake,” Rory slurs through the door.

Jon kisses Rose again, climbs from the bed and turns to look at her. “Fuck Rose…you need to cover up or I’ll not be leaving this bed ever,” he says pulling the covers over her. He feels her hands making their way through his hair, her nails raking his scalp and he is instantly hard, falling back on top of her, his lips on hers and that electricity that is always between them making its way through his entire body and he’s just cogent enough to pull back.

He stands off the bed and heads into the loo for a quick cold…very cold shower. He’s trying to play out the different scenarios in his head of how this meeting will go. Mostly he wants to…but no…he can’t do that. Well that’s not true he can, he is capable of ending this Jimmy Stones person, but he really, really doesn’t want to. He decides to stop thinking about it. Every interaction he comes up with ends with him kicking the living shit out of this guy. He washes quickly, gets out, towels off and heads back into the room.

There is a brief flare of panic when Rose isn’t in the bed where he left her, as it starts to set in the bedroom door opens, she walks in with two cups of coffee and smiles at him. “Sorry, I was trying to get back before you got out, but there was a line forming at the coffee pot,” she says offering him one of the cups.

Jon takes his cup from her, takes a drink, sets it down on the table and goes to his dresser for clothes. “Thanks for the coffee and…other stuff too,” he says grinning, pulling on his clothes.

“Other stuff too?” Rose asks.

“Yeah you know,” he walks over, kisses her lightly and waggles his brows at her, “Other stuff too.”

“Ah yes…other stuff,” she says smiling at him…with that fucking tongue…he has to leave the room now or he’ll not leave it at all.

Jon reaches for her hand, entwines their fingers and pulls her from the room. He’s still only half dressed but he had to get out of that room. Her there, in his button-up…only his button-up…yep it’s going to be a very long day he thinks as he tries to wipe away the image of Rose beneath him. They make their way to the living room, he sets her down on the couch, and sprints back to the room to grab their coffee and the rest of his clothes. He rushes back to the living room, hands her the cup, spreads a blanket over her lap, hands her the remote to the ridiculously large screen telly and starts to finish dressing.

Jack rounds the corner from the hallway as Jon finishes tying his chucks. Rory slumps onto the couch, his face his face falling into Rose’s lap. “I need at least,” Rory looks at his watch, “3 more hours of sleep Rose. I was up most the night studying for exams.”

Jon looks over at the couch and a forceful wave of jealousy and possessiveness floods his system when he sees Rory lying on Rose like that. A small growl is released from his throat before he can stop it. He doesn’t think Rose heard it, that’s good, but from the look on Jack’s face he definitely heard it. Rory sits straight up, immediately moves away from Rose and looks up at Jon. He wants to be upset that his friend just growled at him, but he can’t seem to muster it up. Whether it’s because he’s too tired or because he’s too happy for Jon and Rose he doesn’t care. Rory smiles and winks at Jon.

Rose had remained blissfully unaware of what was going on in front of her with Jon, Jack and Rory. She is preoccupied with coffee and the remote for the telly. “Coffee, coffee, coffee,” she says, preparing to stand to get more. Rory takes the cup from her.

“I’ll get it, I need some anyways,” he says walking to the kitchen, “Jon can I speak to you a moment?”

Jon starts making a new cup of coffee for Rose when Rory asks, “Did you fucking growl at me Jon?” He stops…frozen…he doesn’t know what to say. He did growl at Rory but that seems…well he doesn’t want to lie but he doesn’t want to admit that either. So he stands there holding a spoon in the air staring at Rory and saying nothing. He feels arms wrap around his waist from behind, feels her face press into his back and he’s breathing again, movement returning to his limbs.

“Rory, don’t tease him. I am rather fond of that growling thing he does,” Rose says, her face buried into his back and he feels her breathing him in.

Jon thinks he should be embarrassed about the growling, about the fact that not only did he growl at his very good friend but Rose knows about it. He’s not though. Instead of blushing and trying to come up with a viable reason for that noise he’s pushing Rose up against the wall and kissing her again. Hands…one on each shoulder pulling him back from her and he flails around trying to catch his balance.

“Right,” Jack says pulling Jon from the kitchen and Rose, “Time enough for that later. We need to get going.”

The last sound Jon hears as Jack’s shoves him out the door is Rose giggling at the whole situation. He loves that sound, really wishes he’d recorded it on his phone and now the panic is starting. He’s going to be gone all day. What if something happens to her while he’s gone? What if she has time to think and decides she doesn’t want this while he’s gone? What if…

“Jon listen, you gotta snap out of this. Rose will be fine. Rory is with her and she’ll not be changing her mind in the time we’re gone. Fucking relax man, you’re making me jittery. Jesus Christ,” Jack’s voice breaks into his spiraling thoughts, thankfully. Jon steps up to the car, Jack takes the keys from him and says, “Think its best f I drive, your head seems to be elsewhere at the moment.” Jon makes no argument and steps to the passenger side getting in. “We have 3 hours drive time for you to get your head on straight Jon, so start talking,” he commands.

“How did you know?” Jon responds.

“Cause you were saying it out loud. You’re going to have to get a grip on yourself. Seriously you fucking growled at Rory, Rory! Why would you do that? Why would you growl at all? I’ve known you a long time, I’ve never seen you behave this way and I’ve never heard you growl,” Jack mostly laughs at him.

Jon knows that Jack finds this both amusing and maybe mildly disturbing at the same time. He’s right though, he does need to get a grip on his emotions where Rose is concerned…or not. “Why?” Jon asks.

“Why what?” Jack replies.

“Why do I need to get a grip on myself? Aren’t I supposed to be kind of out of it and drunk on emotion? Isn’t that the normal thing that happens when you fall in love?” Jon says defensively, “I…okay maybe growling unconsciously at my friends isn’t ‘normal’ but let’s face it…we are not ‘normal’ people Jack. Not you, Rose or me. So again I say why? Why should I even try to get a grip? Isn’t it better that she knows this about me right off?”

Jack considers what he’s saying for a minute. He’s partly right; none of them will ever be ‘normal’ again. He’s also not seeing the truth of the matter. “Rose was in a violent and possessive relationship already and...”

“You think I would harm her?” Jon interrupts, feeling the rage starting in the base of his spine at Jack’s words.

“What? No Jon. I don’t think you would ever harm Rose, but what she finds endearing and cute now, well…that may wear thin rather quickly. I’m just saying that protective and possessive are not the same things. She’s lived through possessive already and she may be ok with it now because everything is new, but do you think in the long run she’ll be alright with that?” Jack asks.

“Actually, I do. I think she is now and will continue to be fine with it,” Jon says shrugging his shoulders, “I agree that possessive and protective are not the same thing. I’m not going to even try to modulate my emotions for her Jack and she doesn’t want me too. Acknowledge, explain, accept and move on, those are her rules. But there is…well…it’s…” he trails off.

It’s what? He doesn’t really know how to explain it. These feelings he has, he’s never experienced anything like it and he can’t even explain it to himself or Rose. Maybe talking it out with Jack will help? Maybe he’ll have a better idea of what’s happening?

“Okay, I’m going to try and explain it to you, but I don’t really even get it myself. When I first went to H&W that day, the day Rose had the panic attack. It started then…well kind of then…it was even before that, at least to some degree,” Jon rambles out.

“What started?” Jack asks.

“Whatever is happening…with me and Rose…started then. I was sitting at the table working on my lectures. I…it felt like someone was watching me. This…electrical feeling…tingly maybe, it started in my back at the base of my spine and just spread everywhere in my body. It wasn’t uncomfortable…unique. Good…it was…it felt good. When I turned around Rose was staring at me. Then everything went to hell that day,” he breathes out.

“And that has what to do with your behavior at the flat?” Jack says.

“Everything! It has everything to do with my behavior period. At the flat today, taking Rose from work, that jackhole in her flat yesterday!” Jon exclaims.

“Christ Jon, calm down. What is going on with you? You’re saying you had some kind of electrical current run through you and it’s caused you to act like a crazy person? That’s rather farfetched,” he replies.

“ARGGG! No you’re not getting it. I don’t know how to explain it properly! I have no comparison to give you Jack,” he says, frustration clear in his voice.

“Ok well, slow down and try again. We have 3 hours to figure it out,” Jack says resolutely.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “This electrical thing, it’s not just me. When I took Rose from the shop, when I grabbed her hand it was there then too…and she felt it. I know she did because I thought I was going insane until she asked me what it was. It’s there every time we touch Jack. Then when…”

When he stops mid-sentence Jack glances over at him. Jon has his eyes closed and is breathing deeply. In through the nose, out through the mouth; once, twice, three times. Jack sees him unclench his fists and release some of the tension in his frame. These are all new things he must have picked up from Rose because Jack has never seen them before. Typically if Jon gets upset he runs, to another room or work or another country even and in the absence of being able to run he just shuts down, refuses to talk about anything, then he eventually calms down or whatever it was gets worked out and he’s fine again.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Then when we…when I’m with her…that electrical current is everywhere. Every place that her skin touches mine it’s there. Now...I realize that I have not had sex in a long time, but it was never like this…like it is with Rose. There’s other things too…not weird exactly...just different,” he finishes on a sigh.

“Define ‘not weird exactly’ Jon. I have a lot of sex and weird is definitely involved,” Jack laughs.

“The first time we were…together…something,” he stops trying to consider his words.

Jack looks over to see why he stopped talking and sees him bobbing him head from shoulder to shoulder. This action is familiar to Jack, this is something he’s seen a million times and it’s helping to calm Jack down.

“Happened,” Jon finishes.

“That’s supposed to happen, it’s kind of the point of the act itself.” Jack retorts with a chuckle.

“Not that you prat. I mean yes that happened as well…brilliantly actually but that’s not what I mean. Something else happened. You’re going to think I sound crazy or you’re going to say it was nothing, but this really happened Jack and…before you make fun of me or start your bantering shit listen, really listen to what I’m saying Okay?” Jon says on a sigh.

“Ok Jon, I’m listening,” he says, and he is because Jon is freaking out next to him. He’s trembling, stuttering, trying to control his breath and whatever happened has clearly shaken his friend so Jack is definitely listening.

“The first time I was with Rose, when I…climaxed it was like…time froze around us. I saw everything Jack. Every moment with Rose up to that exact current second and then…I saw my life…our life…everything. Rings, marriage, home and children, grandchildren…everything played out like a movie in front of me. There was this moment during that film playing out…something clicked. It was like a lock snapping shut and it was a physical sensation Jack. There was a pull in my entire body, then it just…I don’t know…locked in. My life with her…I think…I think I was always supposed to meet her, be with her. Don’t you find it odd that in the 14 years we’ve been back I’ve been with no one? And there’s more. Whenever I’m not with her I get sick. Properly sick, like right now, since the second we left the flat I’ve felt like I’m going to hurl. I’m shaky and sweaty and feel like hell. Also; she’s better than any medication I have ever taken. I can be working myself up to a proper fit and all she has to do is touch me and it’s gone. That electricity hits me when we touch and any anger or fear or whatever…is just…gone,” Jon says rushed and panicked.

“So just to sum up. There is some kind of electrical current every time you touch, you had some time freezing vision of your future during climax, you suffer detox when she leaves the room and she has the ability to calm you with just a slight touch? Am I missing anything?” Jack asks.

“There’s more,” he sighs out running his hands down his face.

“How much more could there be? It’s been two days,” Jack states bewildered.

“I am aware Jack. Don’t you think I know this is crazy!? I am after all a certified fucking genius. I am sought after by every damn government in the world to come and work for them. So take that in for just a moment. In all the time that we have been back have you ever seen me act irrationally or impulsively? Have I ever behaved the way I have the last two days? Have you ever seen me possessive over anyone…or anything for that matter? Have you ever heard me growl…fucking growl like a God damned animal Jack? As I said there is more, but if you’re just going to write this off as hormones or chemicals from finally getting laid don’t fucking bother,” he snaps.

“What’s the more,” Jack asks.

“I feel very possessive of her. Not just hey get away from my girlfriend possessive, but step away now or ill rip out your fucking throat, tear you limb from limb and then just for good measure set the remains on fucking fire kind of possessive,” Jon says with not a small amount of worry in his voice.

“And how does Rose feel about all of this? Jack responds.

“That’s just it, she’s okay with it, fine with it. I think…well...I think she likes it actually. When I first tried to explain about the being away from her…issue, she didn’t get upset at all. In fact at first I thought maybe she didn’t understand… but then we went to her flat and she told me she didn’t want me to come in…she left…she left her phone and her purse in the car so I knew she’d be back. Then when that piece of shit attacked her…I knew. I knew it was happening. I didn’t just think something was wrong, I knew she was in trouble. And…this sick feeling when we’re not together that happens to her too,” he says still worried.

“Well that came in handy then. The knowing she was in trouble not the sick thing. Jon I have no idea what any of that means. I have never experienced anything like that nor have I ever heard of anyone else that has. I’m not saying I don’t believe you because I do. So what you need to do is what you’re good at, nice it worked out that way,” he says. Jon looks over at him like he’s an idiot and he returns the look in kind, “Research, you have two PH.D’s you can obviously do research well. If anyone else has had this happen it will be on the Internet somewhere and if it’s something you’re worried about, research it.”

“I’m not bothered though. I’m fine with it and Rose is fine with it. But being fine with it doesn’t mean its right or ‘normal’ Jack,” Jon replies.

“Still I say research it, could be a fun project for you and Rose to do together. Now, do you feel a little better, head a little clearer, because we do actually have to accomplish more than driving and talking with this trip,” Jack asks.

“I feel…sick still actually. Jack hit the call button for Rory’s cell please,” Jon asks.

Jack hits the in car connection to activate the Bluetooth and says, “Call Rory’s cell.”

One ring, two rings, three rings and finally he picks up. “Hey guys, how goes the drive?” Rory says.

“Wet,” Jack responds, “How’s everything going there Rory?

“Fine, I was just making some tea for Rose. She’s lying down in Jon’s bed, said she wasn’t feeling too well,” Rory tells them.

“How long after we left did that start Rory?” Jon asks.

“Hmm…maybe 5 or so minutes after you two walked out of the flat. She started looking a little flushed and was kind of shaky. I figured she either ate something that didn’t agree with her or maybe she didn’t eat and expended too much energy,” he laughs out.

“Rory do me a favor and take the phone to Rose please,” Jon asks.

“Sure, sure one moment let me finish making the tea I was taking her,” he replies.

Jon can hear him finishing off the tea and placing the kettle back on the stove, grabbing the phone off the counter where he set it down and shuffling his way through the flat. Knock, knock, knock. “Rose its Rory. I’ve brought you some tea and Jon’s on the phone for you. May I come in?” No response. “She may have fallen asleep Jon,” Rory says into the phone.

“Open the door,” Jon says and Rory can hear the tension rising in his voice.

“She’s asleep, she doesn’t look like she’s feeling great though,” he says taking in her pale color and labored breathing.

“I can relate. Please wake her and hand her the phone, thanks,” Jon says, his breathing also heavy.

“Hey sleepy head, I’ve brought tea and Jon’s on the phone for you,” Rory tells her, handing her the phone and making his way out of the room.

“Jon? What’s wrong…is everything okay? You couldn’t have made it to London yet…even Jack’s not that fast,” Rose says rapidly into the phone.

“No, nothing’s wrong. Rory said you weren’t feeling well? You were fine when we left. I just wanted to check is all,” he says in a calm voice.

“I seem okay now. I was feeling a little sick after you left…my stomach was a bit unhappy so I was lying down and I must have fallen asleep,” she says.

Jack is watching as Jon talks on the phone to Rose. He sees Jon check his pulse rate and can hear his breathing becoming less labored the longer he’s on the phone with her. The reverse seems to be true as well. Rose is sounding better. Her breathing is better; the hoarse tone in her voice is getting lighter. Jon’s right this is definitely not ‘normal’.

“Rose Love…just…just lie down and try to go back to sleep. It’s been a really long few days and maybe the rest will do you some good. Hopefully I’ll be back before you wake up again okay?” Jon says, concern lacing his voice.

“Actually, I think I’m going to take a shower, maybe get something to eat. I’m feeling a bit better now,” she responds.

Jack does not miss the look Jon shoots at him when Rose says that. “Good…that’s good Love. So try and eat, take a shower and just hang out with Rory. I’ll call again when we’re headed back. I love you Rose and I’ll talk to you again soon,” he says.

“I love you too,” she says disconnecting.

Jon arches his brow at Jack and says, “Weird right?”

“Yes, it’s weird Jon, but it’s not the end of the world. So you get a tummy ache when you’re not around her…probably just anxiety. It’s been a really long time since you’ve had a relationship,” Jack says skeptically.

“Your hypothesis is that Rose and I simultaneously felt high enough levels of anxiety to make us experience the exact same set of symptoms at the exact same time. Then both of us also simultaneously recovered from the previously mentioned symptoms while on the phone with each other?” Jon says annoyed that he’s being brushed off.

“I know its weak but it’s all I have at the moment. You are feeling better though? Because we still have to get to London and talk with Jimmy,” Jack reminds him.

“Yep, fine now. We should decide what we’re going to do when we get there and why are you saying ‘talk’ with hand quotes? He’s in a prison with guards…Guards who have guns. It’s not like I’m going to walk in and break his neck or attack him Jack. I said talk, I meant talk,” he says, irritation clear in his tone.

“Yes he’s in a prison with guards who have guns but money talks Jon. The particular guard that will be bringing Jimmy in for our ‘talk’ is an associate, a friend. I wanted to be sure that the message we came to deliver had the opportunity to register. The kind of guy Jimmy is, they usually don’t respond well or listen to friendly chats,” Jack says.

“If I’m correct Jack, and I usually am, you’ve a plan in the works already. Want to fill me in? If I’m to be complicit in some sort of illegal adventure of yours it would be nice to know ahead of time…this time,” Jon says teasingly, trying to be rid of the annoyance and irritation.

“Basically what’s happened is I have made sure the guard in the room is someone I know and trust. Should you feel the need to take a little physical action to make our point clear, that option is now available. Also, I know a few inmates who owe me some favors. If he continues to mess with Rose or anyone else for that matter it will only take a text message next time. Which is nice, I hate this drive,” Jack says flatly.

“Wow, you got so snippy there,” Jon says beside him, “It’s not like I get to do exciting and slightly dangerous stuff all the time, you could at least let me enjoy it.”

“Slightly dangerous? Did you even look at the folder I gave you on this guy? You are a professor and I run a coffee shop,” he sees Jon about to say something and cuts him off, “Ok, I pay people to run a coffee shop for me,” Jon tries to protest again, “Fine, you pay people to run a coffee shop for me. Better? Which just goes to prove my point. Jimmy is dangerous. This is not a fun mini-break from your day-to-day Jon. This man almost killed Rose, held her captive for 5 years and did horrific things to her. Things that you and I are both regrettably intimately familiar with,” Jack says, angry that Jon is not taking this more seriously.

“Yes Jack, I am aware of the purpose of this trip and what Jimmy Stones has done. Thank you very much for the recap. I am trying to keep my head. I am trying to not go in there and do exactly what it is you paid that guard to let me do. Have you ever killed anyone Jack?” Jon grates out through his teeth.

Jack looks over to Jon and can see the storm raging inside. “You know I haven’t,” he says moderating his tone, trying to calm his friend.

“I have,” Jon replies bluntly, “So until you have done maybe you shouldn’t advise beating or killing as the first option for a bad situation. I will talk with Jimmy, try to reason with him. You said money talks and I have plenty. For right now the plan is to talk. If that doesn’t work, I’ll improvise. However, by the time we leave that prison Jimmy Stones will know that Rose is not his or anyone’s (mine, mine, mine) property and that his continued harassment of her will not be tolerated. I’m not sure yet how I’m going to make that clear, but I am rather brilliant and good at thinking on my feet,” Jon says trying to smile.

“On a different topic entirely before you toss me from a moving car. My laptop is in the backseat. Why don’t you try doing a little research on what’s going on with you and Rose. That at least will keep your mind busy and maybe you won’t be such a dick,” Jack mumbles the last part.

As Jon turns back to the front after grabbing the laptop he looks at Jack and says, “I heard that you know. You’re not very good at saying things quietly.”

“Maybe I meant for you to hear it, did you ever think of that?” he responds in a shitty tone.

“Actually I did, but ruled it out immediately since you were mumbling and trying to be quiet. If you had wanted me to hear it, you would have just said it normally,” Jon replies mockingly.

Memememhmmg,” Jack parrots back in a high-pitched voice.

“You sound like a Chihuahua when you do that,” Jon laughs as he turns the laptop on.

“Hey Rose, feeling better after a shower?” Rory asks.

“Yeah a bit,” she replies, “Rory how long have you and Amy been together?”

“Oh, about 7 years now or seven years this year rather. Why?” he asks.

“Do you guys…ever get…I don’t know…sick when you’re apart from each other?” she asks hesitantly.

“I’m not sure I get you’re meaning Rose? What are you talking about?” he asks.

“Okay, there’s a few…weird things happening with me…and Jon,” Rose says quietly.

“This would be so much easier if you just said whatever you’re hedging about saying Rose. As I said, I was up most the night studying for exams. I’m not really at my deductive best today,” Rory reminds her.

“Right…sorry. I’ll try to explain, but I don’t really understand it myself. There’s something…not weird…exactly, but not normal happening between Jon and I. There’s like this…electricity that happens when we touch. Not just when we touch, but it’s…stronger then I guess. Also, when he’s gone…when we’re not together I feel sick Rory. Properly sick, like I have the flu or something,” she stumbles out.

“It could be anxiety Rose. Neither of you has been in a relationship in a while and both of you are more than a little messed up,” Rory sees the look of hurt on her face and hurries to explain, “It’s not a bad thing Rose, being messed up. It’s just a thing. I didn’t mean anything negative by it. It’s just that you two have been through a lot in your lives; the kind of stuff that stays with a person. I’d have a hard time believing that one or both of you doesn’t have P.T.S.D. at the minimum. The electricity thing though, that’s a new one for me. Static cling maybe?” he laughs.

“It’s more than that though,” Rose tells him with seriousness in her tone, “When you met Amy, did you know? Right that instant, did you know she was the one person for you? When…When Jon came into work and took my hand…it was...ARGGGH! I don’t know how to explain it Rory. The moment he grabbed my hand it was like something locking into place. Then this…thing happened when we were…uh…together.”

“I’m almost certain that thing is supposed to happen Rose,” he says teasingly.

“Not…not that thing Rory, you arse. Okay listen. The first time we were together, Jon had his forehead pressed to mine and I saw…it was like a vision maybe? Or a dream but we were awake? I don’t really know what it was. I didn’t tell Jon about it. At first it was because I thought maybe it was just me being a nutter. Then I didn’t tell him because…well…that would freak anyone out after just 24 hours of knowing a person,” she says.

“Depends on what you saw I guess. Was it a bad vision?” he asks.

“No I…I saw everything Rory. The life I could have with Jon…will have with Jon. I saw everything starting from the first time I saw him in the shop 3 years ago to that present moment and then…well…it was like fast-forward on a movie. I saw us looking at rings and houses. I saw us getting married and our honeymoon. I saw me pregnant…more than once. I saw our children grow into adults and have children of their own…everything Rory. I saw everything,” she sighs out to him.

“You didn’t tell Jon though?” he asks.

“No, and this is where it starts to get really weird. Jon had the same…he saw the same things as I did…at the same time Rory. I get that each thing on its own can be explained away as excitement or anxiety or just general fucked-up-ness, but when you put all of the things together…look at them as a whole instead of separate…it means something. I just don’t know what it is,” she says, and he can hear the panic rising in her voice.

“If you didn’t tell Jon how do you know he saw the same things?” Rory asks her.

“He told me,” she responds, “I didn’t really think it was odd until he told me he saw the same things I did…at the same time. Then I started thinking about some other stuff that just seems…well...not off exactly. Things that should be worrisome aren’t. I should be worried that I get electrical shocks or sensations whenever we touch. I should be worried that he is possessive. Christ Rory, he fucking growled at you this morning! I should be worried that if we’re apart I get sick or that he has a panic attack if I’m gone from his sight for more than a minute or two. I should be worried that I’ve only known this man 2 days…2 fucking days and I’m ready to spend my life with him…have children with him. We didn’t…use condoms and when he realized…when he told me that we’d not used protection…I wasn’t bothered in the slightest. I was…well…honestly I was happy. Happy at the idea that I could be pregnant…by a man I’ve known for 2 days! Why am I not more upset about this Rory? Shouldn’t I be freaking out or something?” she says gasping for air.

“You seem like you are freaking out Rose,” he says, carefully watching her for signs of a panic attack.

“Yes but…I’m freaking out because I’m not freaking out Rory. At least not about the things I should be yeah? With my past I should not be okay with Jon’s possessive behavior. I should not have been okay having sex…at least not as fast as it happened. I have been in therapy long enough to know that I’m broken. None of this seems odd to you? Is it really just me? Am I just finding problems where there aren’t any? See that’s the thing…I don’t know if these things are really something to be worried about and I’m not for some weird reason or if I’m just looking to cause trouble. Am I sabotaging this…this…thing with Jon because I don’t know how to or won’t allow myself to be happy?” she says, the words rushed, her color worsening.

“Uh, well Rose, we have officially reached my limit for girly heart to heart chats. Amy. Amy is needed at this point and I could use some stronger coffee. How about we head to the shop? Maybe Amy will have better answers for you. She’s into all that hippie stuff. Lore, myths, legends and crap are really more suited to her area of experience,” he states wryly.

“What? What do you mean myths and legends and stuff?” she asks.

“You know, like soul-mates and stuff like that. Amy’s real into researching that kind of thing. If you really think something more than anxiety or your general fucked-up-ness is going on, then she is the woman you want to speak to. I don’t necessarily believe in soul mates or THE ONE, but just because I don’t believe in it doesn’t mean it’s not true. I don’t believe in God either but billions of people do. Who’s to say there’s no such thing as a soul mate? If there is, I’m sure Amy would be mine. Now get yourself dressed and we’ll head to the shop. You can chat with Amy and Clara and I can take a nap,” he tells her.

“I can go on my own if you want to stay here and sleep Rory,” Rose says.

“Absolutely you could do that Rose. You’re not going to but you could. After Jon growled at me this morning and the very intense warning Jack gave me about leaving you on your own until this is resolved you’ll not be going anywhere without me,” he puts his hand up to stave off her protests, “Rose he loves you. He wants to be sure you’re safe. It is not a judgment on if you can take care of yourself. He knows you can. So go get dressed and we’ll head to the shop okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” she replies wandering off.


	16. Chapter 16

The drive was spent mostly in silence while Jon focused on research. Jack left him alone for the most part, focused on driving in the rain and the radio. Every so often he’d ask a question to Jon about something random or inquire as to whether he had come up with a strategy for Jimmy, but he left him alone for most of the trip.

“Pentonville Prison, we’re here,” Jack states parking the car, “Did you come up with a plan on how you want to handle the situation?”

“Nope,” Jon states, popping the p as he is prone to doing, “I’m just going to wing it. It’s hard to come up with a plan when you know basically nothing about the person you’re planning about. Let’s get this over with. The sooner this is done the sooner we can head back.”

Jon walks straight to the security desk. “We’re here to see a prisoner,” he states to the guard.

“Name of the prisoner?” the guard says.

“Mr. Jimmy Stones, please. How long do we get to visit with him?” Jon asks.

“30 minutes usually. Your names please?” asks the guard.

“Dr. Jon Ardis and Jack Harkness,” Jack chimes in from behind Jon.

“I see here that special dispensation has been granted by the warden for your visit. Take as much time as you need Dr. Ardis and Mr. Harkness. If you will follow me I’ll take you to Roy. He’ll escort you to one of the visiting rooms and retrieve the prisoner for you,” says the guard in a much more respectful tone than earlier.

Jack and Jon follow the guard through a labyrinth of halls and doorways before finally reaching Roy at a second security desk. There are 5 guards at the station not including the one that walked them in and Roy. Introductions are made, security checks are completed, pockets are emptied and the first guard makes his way back to the front desk.

“Alright lads, if you’ll follow me I’ll take you to a room and then I’ll have,” he searches through his papers, “Johnson bring in the prisoner. You’ll probably want him to stay in the room with you though. Jimmy Stones has quite a temper. Do you want us to cuff him to the table? I’m not really sure if you’re here on a friendly visit or not, but if you have some upsetting information for Jimmy, it might be better to have him cuffed,” the guard states flatly.

“Cuffed is preferable,” Jack replies.

“Okay then, you lads wait here and Johnson will be in soon with the prisoner,” the guard says shutting them in.

Both men take a seat on one side of the table and wait. The room is small; the air is stale and stifling. Jon wishes they’d hurry this up. He’s still feeling a bit sick and he’s not sure how this interaction is going to play out. He wants to be able to have a chat and be done with it. He’s worried seeing the monster that did these things to Rose is going to make the fragile hold he has on his sanity snap.

Jack is watching Jon very closely. He sees Jon take a seat next to him and immediately start working to control his breathing. Jon’s legs are bouncing up and down and his eyes are closed. His face is in his hands and his elbows propped on the table, he’s flushed, isn’t looking so well.

“You ok? You seem antsy and you’re not lookin’ so hot right now,” he questions.

“Just want this over with. Need to get back to Cardiff and I have too much adrenaline in my system right now, it’s making me shaky,” Jon says from behind his hands.

Jack thinks adrenaline is only part of the issue. He wishes he could call and check on Rose. He has a feeling that she’s likely in the same state as Jon. This weird connection they have, it is both disturbing and perplexing and definitely needs to be looked into. “Jon, what did you find in your research on the way here?” Jack asks. Before Jon can answer the door opens and in comes Jimmy Stones with the guard behind.

Jimmy’s hands are cuffed in front of him and they run to his ankles. The guard sits him across from Jon and Jack, locks his hands by his cuffs onto the table and his feet to the floor. The first thing Jack notices is that Jimmy is a large man. Both Jack and Jon are over 6 feet tall. Jimmy must be 6’4 at least and weigh in at 20 stone minimum. Muscular, Jimmy has lots of muscles Jack notices. If he goes on physique alone, it’s not difficult to see why Rose was interested in this guy.

“What can I do for you two fine gentlemen this afternoon,” Jimmy sneers at them.

Jon stands, closes his eyes for a moment, opens them and looks at Jimmy. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “We are here to discuss Miss Tyler and you’re continued harassment of her,” Jon states pleasantly. He’s trying to remain calm, doesn’t want to appear rattled or off his game to this…waste of human skin.

“You’re here about Rose Tyler? I haven’t seen her in over 5 years. I have no clue what you’re talkin’ about. I’ve been in here, so I couldn’t have been harassing her,” Jimmy’s smile is huge and filthy as he looks at Jon and Jack, “Pity she’s not with you. I could do with shag. So what’s the little slag done now?” he asks.

“Look we did not come here to play games; Rose was attacked by her landlord who was sent by you. What we want is to know what it will take for you to leave her alone permanently,” Jack states flatly.

“Not gonna happen mates,” Jimmy snickers, “Rose’s mine. I have less than 7 years left in here and once I’m out you can guarantee I’ll be coming to collect my property. I’ve been locked up in this shithole for 5 years because of that little whore and I’m going to let her know just how much I missed her,” he laughs and licks his lips.

Jack looks over at Jon gauging his reaction to what Jimmy’s saying, what he sees is not good. Jon is two suitcases and a transatlantic flight from good right now. He sees Jon stand, walk over in front of Jimmy and kneel so they are eye to eye.

“If Rose is nothing more than property, certainly she has a price. What would the price be for you to leave her alone? I want you to seriously consider my offer because if you decline to cooperate it will only be bad for you Mr. Stones. I am man of science, a rational and logical man, a realistic man. I am however, not a reasonable man. I am willing to come to a mutually beneficial agreement regarding Ms. Tyler. However, if you choose to make this difficult I can work with that as well. It’s not my preferred method for handling issues, but rest assured you don’t scare me Mr. Stones. So again, what will it take to get you to leave My Rose alone? She is you know, My Rose. She was never yours, not really,” Jon says snidely with a small grin. He can see Jimmy starting to get worked up. What he’s saying is having the desired effect. Jon wants him mad, wants him pissed and raring for a fight.

“ **ROSE IS MINE!** ” he yells while thrashing about trying to get loose from his cuffs.

“Nope,” Jon says popping the p, staying calm, too calm as far as Jack is concerned. “She’s not now, nor was she ever yours. She never will be either. I don’t think you understand the situation here Mr. Stones. You are what you have always been; a medium sized fish in a very small pond. You’re nothing more than a bully really. Big tough guy who needs to beat up little girls to feel manly because the truth is he’s not. You are nothing, have nothing and mean nothing. If you never made it out of this room no one would give a shit and half the inmates would probably celebrate. Now, I will reiterate this once more as you seem to be slow to catch on,” Jon grabs his left hand, “Rose Tyler is no one’s property. However, she chooses to be mine,” he says evenly. As the word mine leaves his lips Jack hears the snap of bone and a scream from Jimmy.

“What the fuck! I will kill you! You have no...”

“I have no idea who I’m messing with?" Jon interrupts him, “Really? Is that what you’re about to say? I know exactly whom I’m messing with,” Jon states, throwing the folder with Jimmy’s information down on the table in front of him.

“James Hillary Stones; A.K.A. Jimmy Stones and Jimmy Hill. Abandoned by your mummy and daddy. They likely knew were a piece of shit even then, probably why they left you in the first place. Raised by your elderly grandparents in Kent until they could ship you off to school; which you never finished. An issue with drugs and booze as a teenager, minor scuffles with some other kids. It wasn’t till your early-twenties that you discovered you had a talent for beating and raping.” Jimmy’s head swivels toward Jon when he says that.

“What the fuck do you know mate? You seem to have information on me that you shouldn’t. Where’d you dig that crap up? I ain’t never had no issues with bitches till Rose and even then it was the dope that made me crazy, even the doctors said so. Why you think I only got 12 years in here? Wherever you’re getting your information is fuckin’ wrong,” Jimmy snarls, thrashing in his chains again.

Jon turns to the guard in the room, “Could we have a moment please? Thanks,” he says as the guard leaves the room. Jon takes a seat across from Jimmy and re-opens the folder. He starts laying out what appear to be surveillance photos of a much younger Jimmy Stones.

“I’m not sure what your definition of ‘ain’t never had no issues’ is Mr. Stones, but these photos clearly show you having some rather disturbing issues,” Jon frowns. Jimmy looks down at the photos Jon placed on the table and all color drains from him. “Now, again I ask, what will it take for you to leave Rose Tyler alone? I mean I have many options at my disposal to deal with you, but I was and am still hoping we can come to a…peaceful agreement,” Jon says, trying to maintain his pleasant demeanor.

“Go fuck yourself!” Jimmy roars.

“I’m not so sure you want me to leave just yet Mr. Stones,” Jon replies, smiling. “You seem to have not only befriended and trusted the wrong sort of people but you have managed to piss them off as well. I know exactly why you only got 12 years in here for what you did to my Rose.”

Jack is gobsmacked by this information. This is not the information that was faxed over to him and he has no idea how Jon came about it. He also doesn’t know what all is contained in it. What he does know is that since walking into this room Jon has become someone he doesn’t recognize. He hasn’t moved since Jon snapped 2 of Jimmy’s fingers. He is having a difficult time reconciling what he’s seeing in front of him with the man he’s known for 15 years. “Jon? What, where did you even get that information?” Jack asks.

“Money talks right? Where I got the information is irrelevant,” Jon replies, “Now, I can turn over all the information I have on you to the authorities. Some of the crimes may have statutes of limitations but,” he sets more photographs down on the table in front of Jimmy, “some most assuredly do not. I have enough incriminating evidence to keep you in here permanently Mr. Stones. Regrettably, I don’t believe for one second that will stop you from bothering my Rose though. You had her attacked in her own flat, just so you could remind her who was in charge,” Jon says, still too calm for Jack’s liking.

He is however starting to get a clearer picture of how Jon managed to get them out of that basement 14 years ago. Jack’s also a little worried that Jon may do something he cannot come back from if this Jimmy wanker doesn’t agree to leave Rose alone. “Jon, maybe you should calm down a bit before we go any further,” he says. Jon turns to look at him then, fury, pure rage is the only thing showing on his face and Jack could swear his eyes just flashed gold? What the hell?

Jon grabs Jack by his arm and manhandles him to the other side of the room. Quietly he tells Jack, “Either get behind me or shut the fuck up. You are the one who made sure this meeting happened this way. What did you think was going to happen here? Did you think I was going to come in here and have tea and biscuits with the man who beat, raped and held my fiancé captive for 5 bloody years? This ends here, today. One way or another.”

“Actually that’s exactly what I thought,” Jack snipes, “Wasn’t you who said ‘he’s in prison with guards who have guns – I said talk’” he mimics.

Jon turns back to Jimmy, “Mr. Stones will you agree to leave my Rose alone?” he asks, once again calm and polite.

“That bitch is dead when I get out of here. She was a worthless slag then and no better now. If you have all this information on me, then you know I always finish what I start,” Jimmy says coldly.

“Tsk…tsk…tsk. Let’s not resort to petty name-calling we’re all adults here,” Jon says, crossing over to Jimmy and grabbing his other hand…SNAP!

“JON! What the Hell are you doing?” Jack hisses at him as Jimmy howls in pain.

Jon ignores Jack and sits down again. “Oh do stop your whining and sniveling Mr. Stones. I thought you were a tough guy? Now please stop the howling or I’ll make it so no sound comes from you,” Jon says in a bored tone.

It is taking everything in him to keep from completely snapping and losing his shit all over this piece of trash. Jon is trying so hard to stay calm, but he can feel it starting, the rush of power surging through his blood and muscle. He closes his eyes before they flash and breathes deeply trying to calm himself. Rose…think of Rose, he tells himself over and over.

Jimmy’s whines turn more into whimpers as he tries to get loose from his cuffs.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “That’s not going to happen. You wouldn’t have been able to get free before I broke a few of your fingers and you certainly won’t be getting loose now. All you’re managing to do is cause further injury to your person. As a doctor I recommend staying still, at least until the cuffs are removed. Are you listening now Mr. Stones? Let me impart some information to you. There are 206 bones in an adult human’s body and I have as long as it takes in here to get you to see the situation my way. I can either continue on this course of action or you can simply tell me what you want in exchange for leaving Rose alone. The choice is yours,” Jon tells him.

“If you think some skinny geek kickin’ my arse while I’m chained to a table is gonna make me back off you clearly haven’t read that file closely enough,” Jimmy grinds out through his teeth, “I’ll be out of here in 7 years at the most and I have a long fuckin’ memory, not to mention my friends outside. You have only secured Rose getting her ass beat again by coming here.” Jon walks over to Jimmy, grabs his left hand again and twists the fingers he broke earlier, “ **AHHH!!! You Son of Bitch I will FUCKIN' KILL YOU!** ” Jimmy screams in pain.

“Jon, STOP!” Jack yells, “This, what you’re doing, this is not you Jon. You said you wanted to talk, have a chat, not break bones and resort to blackmail.”

“You have no idea what I am capable of when I have to be,” Jon says smiling and twisting Jimmy’s fingers, causing him to scream again. SNAP! as Jimmy’s left middle finger breaks. “I tried talking, chatting and even offered to pay Mr. Stones. Clearly civility is lost on him. For the record Jimmy, it wasn’t my idea to have you chained up. This would be much more rewarding for me if you weren’t, but we can’t always have what we want. A lesson you will have learned by the time today is over,” Jon steps toward the door and knocks on it. The guard, Jack’s friend steps back in.

“Mr. Johnson is it?” Jon asks as the guard closes the door behind him.

“Yes Sir,” the guard responds.

“First name?” Jon asks.

“Samuel,” he responds.

“Samuel, lovely name. So Sam, may I call you Sam?” Jon asks pleasantly.

“Uh, sure,” he says tentatively.

“Lovely. Now Sam, if you would be so kind as to bring in prisoner C7328. Thanks ever so much,” Jon says, winking at the guard who quickly leaves the room with a worried look on his face.

Jimmy has remained mostly quiet since his last finger was broken. Small whimpers, sounds of distress and pain are coming from him, but he’s mostly quiet.

“Jon? Who’s the guy you’re bringing in? Jack asks clearly worried.

“You’re not the only one with connections Jack. You also may want to leave the room. I’m not sure how you’ll take to seeing the person Sam will be returning with,” he says flatly.

“Jon what the fuck has gotten into you? You don’t do this. How are you even capable of this?” Jack says clearly upset.

“They’ll be plenty of time for explanations later, for now though; well you may not want to be privy to what comes next. The choice to stay or go is yours but in a few minutes there will be no choice,” Jon states, turning his attention to Jimmy.

“I could have had you killed, without ever leaving home or Rose. I wanted to give you an opportunity to show that you’ve grown as a person, maybe show some remorse over your actions, but you’re not sorry; you’ve stated as much. You also have no interest in changing who you are. That means you will do whatever you have to do to keep torturing Rose from in here. I can’t allow that to happen. Since I cannot allow that to happen and you refuse to see reason you’re putting me in a position I had hoped to avoid,” Jon finishes just as the door creaks back open. Sam enters with another prisoner in tow, “Last chance Jack. If you’re going to leave you need to do it now.”

“I’m not leaving you Jon. I have no idea what you have going on here but I’m not leaving you,” Jack replies harshly.

“Sam, thank you so much for your assistance. Now if you’ll just head back out the door I’ll inform you when we’re done or if further services are needed,” Jon says warmly.

Jack looks at the new person brought in and he’s large, quite imposing actually. He has his back toward Jack so he can’t see his face, but his shape seems familiar somehow.

“Jack, Mr. Stones, allow me introduce you to Randall Weston. Jack you may remember him from our time with Davros. Mr. Stones however has not yet had the pleasure as Mr. Weston was just transferred in here yesterday,” How was the trip Randall, any issues during the move?” Jon asks.

“No issues Dr. Ardis. Thanks for arranging the switch in housing though. This place is much more to my liking. Maximum security’s a bitch ya know?” Randall says respectfully.

“No problem whatsoever Randall. I’m glad we could come to a mutually beneficial arrangement,” Jon replies while pointedly looking at Jimmy.

“Not man enough to protect Rose yourself, had to hire a goon to do it for you?” Jimmy grinds out between his clenched teeth.

“Not at all. I could take care of you myself I just don’t want to. I could stay here and continue slowly breaking every one of your bones while trying to reason with you, but honestly I’d rather be at home shaggin’ my Rose and planning the very happy life we’re to have. I did promise her that the situation would be handled today though. Which brings us back to why Randall is here,” Jon says. His vision darts to Jack and sees he is shaking with rage. He tried to warn him, tried to get him to leave.

“Jon,” Jack croaks out, “Why is he here? Why would you…how could you be working with him? After what he did to you? How can you just stand there so calmly and pat him on the back, shake his hand…like your old friends? I don’t understand what’s going on here.”

“Dr. Ardis didn’t just get you out of that basement Jack. You weren’t the only one Davros had a hold on ya know,” Randall says less than politely.

“Right well…none of that is what matters now. That time has come and gone. You’re fine Jack, I’m fine too. No sense in holding Randall here responsible for committing actions that were not his choice to make. I think you of all people would be a bit more understanding of that. Back to matters at hand,” Jon says, “Now Mr. Stones, I have tried to reason with you. Since you don’t want to take what I am offering and I do not want to stay here in this dank, dark hole all day, my…associate?” he stops to look at Randall who nods a confirmation to Jon, “Yes my associate here Mr. Weston is going to help me out a bit. Randall is a man not unlike you in some respects Jimmy. He lacks a conscience for one and he enjoys causing pain for another. He does however love his Mum. Isn’t that sweet?” Jon asks.

“If you think this blokes gonna scare me you’ve got the wrong idea of who I am Jon,” Jimmy says trying to sound strong, but he’s in a significant amount of pain due to several broken fingers.

“Mr. Stones. I think you may have misinterpreted what’s going to happen from here on out. Randall’s job is not to scare you into behaving. He’s here to punish you,” Jon says as if he's talking to a small child.

“So you’re just gonna have this arse off me? Who the hell do you think you are? Prison murders still get investigated dipshit. You think they won’t come looking to you, the only visitor I have had in years when my body turns up? You won’t be any use to Rose if you’re sittin’ in here mate,” Jimmy snarls.

“I ain’t here to kill ya dumbass,” Randall laughs out, “Let me tell you something Ed. If Dr. Ardis wanted you dead, you’d be dead. If you had any sense in that thick skull you’d call off whatever dogs you’ve sent after this Rose chick. You have no idea what this man is capable of. I been read her medical records and had explained in great detail what caused the damage. My function is to make sure that throughout the next 5 years you’re fragile little body experiences that damage repeatedly. All of the damage mate,” Randall says, grabbing his cock and thrusting himself in Jimmy’s face while licking his lips.

“What? You can’t do that! Guard! Guard!” Jimmy starts yelling and Sam walks back in.

“Is there an issue Jimmy?” Sam asks.

“I want to go back to my cell right now. I’m done here,” he says looking at Jon like he just won some prize.

“Yes, well it’s going to be a few minutes. A few of the other guards are still moving your possessions to your new bunk, but as soon as they have your new cell set up I’ll take you back. It must be nice to get to meet your new bunkmate ahead of time. Did you two work out who gets to be on top?” Sam growls at Jimmy as he steps back out the door.

“You see Mr. Stones, everyone has a price. You could have named yours and in 7 years when you got out you’d have been a rich man. I did try and do this in a more civilized fashion but your continued refusal to come to an agreement regarding my lovely Rose has forced my hand. Randall here, he’s a bit brighter than you apparently. He loves his Mum. She needs to be cared for while he languishes away in prison for the rest of his days. We were able to come to a mutually beneficial arrangement. His Mum is safe, cared for and the situation needing taken care of...will be. Sam, that’s the very fine young man on the other side of the door,” Jon pauses in his rant as he grabs one of the photos from the table and holds it up in front of Jimmy, “he had a price as well. The young lady in this photo that you’re injecting with heroin, well…that’s his baby sister. It took her years to kick that habit by the way. I can go on with the amount of people whose alliance I have secured in order to assure Rose’s safety, but there’s really no point. You’re either going to be a good little doggie and do as you’re instructed by your new master; that would be me in case you’re curious, or like the bad dog you are you will be put down. Believe me when say that you will not be euthanized Mr. Stones, it will be slow and painful. Randall here has given me his promise that each and every injury inflicted upon My Rose will be doled out to you on a nightly basis. All I have to do is give him the go ahead,” Jon growls to him.

“You won’t get away with this. Even if you keep Rose safe while I’m in here, I won’t be forever, then what? I’ll be out in 7 years asshole and I’ll make her pay for what you’re doing now! If you think what I did to her 5 years ago was bad, well let’s just say I’ve learned some new tricks since bein’ locked up mate and I’m sure little Rose will just love how I can make her feel now,” Jimmy says with a filthy grin.

“You are an idiot,” Jack yells to Jimmy, “Do you honestly think you’re ever getting out of here? Even if you live long enough with Randall as your bunkmate, which is highly doubtful, you will never make it out those front doors alive. None of which matters because right now, up in his office the warden is being delivered a package which contains information on the man who raped and murdered his wife. Imagine his surprise when he discovers the degenerate is in his own prison,” Jack grits out between clenched teeth. He looks over at Jon and sees for just a moment a look of shock on his face before he regains himself.

“End game is this mate. You leave My Rose alone and I’ll not have Randall here punish you for weeing on my floors like a naughty puppy. Continue your harassment of her and well…you were there; you know what Rose went through. Unless you wish to find out firsthand what being on the other end of that is like, I’d call off any further plans you may have for her. Now, to answer your question of what will happen when you’re freed from here. Nothing. Nothing is going to happen because at this very moment the Barristers are filing charges for…oh let’s see,” Jon starts laying photos across the table in front of him, “at least 5 separate rapes and murders. Air tight cases I hear,” Jon finishes with a wide grin aimed at Jimmy.

“I didn’t do those bitches,” Jimmy exclaims, “You’re settin’ me up!”

“That’s what every criminal says,” Jon answers dryly, “You made a deal to get a reduced charge when you were arrested for what you did to My Rose. You should have been given a life sentence. Instead, because you turned on some very bad people you got away with 12 years. Now those very bad people are all coming here. Every person you turned on will be in this very facility by the end of the week and they all know why they’re in prison. If Randall here doesn’t get too frisky and lets you live, if you happen to live through whatever retribution these men have in store for you, if the warden doesn’t seek his own recompense for his wife and if you somehow manage to get out of this prison with any life left in you after these new charges are brought on, they’ll not be enough left of you to be a bother to me or my Rose. Once I leave here today you will never see me or hear from me again, but I’ll know everything that happens to you Mr. Stones.”

“Yeah, fine. The little slags all yours. She was a worthless lay and can’t suck a dick worth a damn anyways. You call me a sick fuck, but what about you. You’re no better than I am Jon. Having me beaten and raped, trumpin’ up charges, placin’ men in here you know are gonna kill me. So how’s that any better than me? Murder is murder no matter how you go about it. Just cause yer hands don’t get bloody don’t make you innocent,” Jimmy says.

“I quit being innocent long ago,” Jon says, sadness lacing his voice, “The difference between you and I is only one small thing…well maybe two things actually. What I am doing is to secure the safety of someone I love; someone who has been damaged and broken almost beyond repair and who is in fact innocent. The other difference is I actually have the resources to get what I want. We’re done here Mr. Stones,” Jon states coolly as he walks over and knocks on the door, “Randall, I’d say it’s been a pleasure but we both know that’s not true. I’ll make sure you get your Mum’s contact information by the end of the week, she’s already in her new place.”

“No worries Dr. Ardis and I’ll be sure to keep your new puppy in line,” he says running his hand through Jimmy’s hair.

“Let’s go Jack, long drive ahead of us and I really need to get back to my Rose,” Jon says with a toothy grin and a carefree wave at Jimmy just as Sam opens the door, “Have a lovely day gentlemen,” is the last thing they hear as Jon and Jack shut the door behind them.

As soon as the door is closed Jack starts to say something and Jon holds his hands up to stop him. “We’ll discuss it in the car Jack,” Jon states firmly.

They make their way back out to the front, gather their belongings from the checkout desk and quickly walk to the car in complete silence. Jon knows Jack is buzzing with questions and rage, he is not looking forward to this drive. He wishes Jack had taken his advice to leave the room. All of this would have been so much easier to handle had he not been there. Instead Jon had to show restraint because he was there and now he has to deal with the fallout from that. Fortunately, Jon anticipated he’d stay and made arrangements last night for this secondary plan of action involving the courts and the men Jimmy turned on. He had been taken by surprise with Jack and the Warden becoming involved, but still, it fit into his plans so he’ll not complain.

Jack had no clue what Jon was capable of. He still doesn’t know how Jon got them free but after today he thinks he has a better idea. He rushes across the parking lot to the car, wants to be gone from this place as quickly as possible. He’s never known Jon to show any kind of anger or fear really and to see him so callous about someone’s life…Jack doesn’t know how to reconcile what he just witnessed with the man he’s known for 15 years. Jon, the man who befriended him, saved him, nursed him back to health; the man who he has loved for almost half his life. He feels like his entire world has been turned on its axis. He thought he knew Jon better than anyone, was closer to him than anyone, even Donna. This man though, he doesn’t know him at all he thinks as he slides into the driver’s seat of the car. Jon makes his way to the car shortly behind Jack and climbs into the passenger seat. Neither has said anything yet and Jack starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot.

“Jon, are you going to explain what the fuck just happened in there? You said talk, chat, not breaking bones and whatever else you just did,” Jack asks with worry and just a touch of fear.

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions Jack. I’ll answer anything you ask, but first I need to call Rose. I feel terrible and my suspicion is she is fairing no better, also I want to let her know the issue is resolved,” Jon states through labored breaths, dialing his phone.

Rose’s phone rings once, twice and she picks up on the third ring, “Jon? Is everything alright? Are you okay?” he hears her panicked voice through the phone.

“Yes,” he says, “We’re just leaving London now, should be home in about 4 hours. I’m fine and the issue with MR. Stones has been resolved, so no need to worry on that any further okay?”

“What do you mean resolved?” she asks.

“It’s a long story Rose and I’ll explain how everything worked out at home. How are you feeling?” Jon asks checking his pulse and respiration.

“Sick. I’ve been sick all day. Maybe…uh…do you think we ate something bad?” she asks.

“I don’t know Love, but we’ll be home soon and we’ll talk then alright?” he says sweetly.

“Yeah alright, drive safe. Tell Jack not to drive too fast I know how he can get,” Rose tells him.

“Right, I’ll see you in a bit Rose, I love you,” he says to her quietly.

“I love you too Jon,” he hears as he disconnects.

“Jack, I’m all yours for the next 3-ish hours. This will be the only time we discuss this so make sure you get all the information now and ask specific questions rather than for an overall explanation please,” Jon states while staring out the window.

“Why was Randall Weston there? Jack asks, voice laced with venom.

“I’d have thought that was obvious. He is part of my insurance that Mr. Stones leave Rose alone,” he replies monotone.

“How did you even know where to find him or who he was?” Jack continues.

“I saved his life Jack, same as yours. He was a prisoner of Davros just as much as you and I. That is how I know him. As for how I found him…well he was right where I left him, in prison,” Jon states.

“How could you save him after what he did to you Jon? I saw the video. I know what happened,” Jack says, getting more upset with each answer.

“I saved you after what you were forced to do to River. He was drugged Jack, same as you were. Just because it was me he was forced upon doesn’t make him any less a victim,” Jon says wearily.

“If he was as much a victim as you or I why did you put him in prison?” Jack replies in a condescending tone.

“I put him where he needed to be. More to the point I put him where he asked to be. Davros had him a long time Jack. He’d seen and done things he didn’t think he could come back from and he was alone,” Jon sighs, running his hands down his face, “We had each other. He only had his Mum and he was worried for her safety if he was to go back there. I made sure he was where he could get help and where he could not hurt anyone, which is what he asked for when I rescued him. Did you honestly think you were the only person I tried to save Jack?"

“How many others did you come back for?” he asks, shocked by this new information. Jack had thought it was only him that Jon saved. He didn't realize that Jon may have gone back for others as well.

“I didn’t come back for anyone. I did what needed to be done, got out as many people as I could before the explosion. 9 people. I was able to save 9 people including you and Mr. Weston,” Jon tells him with a flat voice.

“What exactly did you do there Jon? To get us out what did you do? That man I saw in there today that was not you; at least not the you that I’ve known for the last 15 years,” Jack asks.

“Jesus Christ Jack, I broke a few of his fingers. It’s not like I broke his neck or beat the shit out of him. You were the one who set it up so I could just that and now what...you’re upset that’s what happened? Jimmy deserved that and much more. I did try and reason with him first. I would have preferred him to just take the money, but he refused. What would you have had me do? Allow him to continue torturing Rose. He tried to have her fucking raped yesterday,” he pauses, runs his hands down his face and closes his eyes. (Deep breath in, deep breath out), “I killed Davros and whoever else I had to in order to do what had to be done and then I burnt down the building. Are you looking for specifics on how I did that? Are you sure you want to know, Jon asks curtly?

Jack thinks on that for a few moments. Does he want to know? Does he need specifics? No, after today he doesn’t want to know what Jon did to get them free. “When did you put all of this together?” He asks, ignoring Jon’s questions to him.

“Last night, after Rose finally cried herself to sleep. It wasn’t difficult really, as you said money talks and I have plenty. It’s amazing what you can get done in a few short hours with an abundance of cash,” Jon answers with no emotion in his voice.

“Will you really follow through on what you threatened Jimmy with?” Jack asks in a much quieter voice than his previous questions.

“Yes,” he replies succinctly.

“You would set Randall and the guys he turned in loose on him?” Jack says shocked.

“To protect her, to save the woman I love, to keep Rose with me; Yes. I would do that and much more,” Jon says tiredly. He's already done with this conversation. He doesn't get what Jack's so upset about. It was Jack who set it up so he could get violent after all.

“Where did you learn to break bones like that? I’ve never seen you get violent even just a little,” Jack asks.

“My...my parents had me enrolled in martial arts classes at a very young age. I did have a life before we met Jack,” he responds stumbling over the words.

“If you knew how to do that stuff why didn’t you do it when we were first captured? Why wait a year to get us out!? Why wait until River…she died Jon. She fucking killed herself and you’re sitting there telling me that you can go all badass ninja and you didn’t! Why?!” Jack screams at him. Why would he let them sit for a year and be tortured and raped if he could have gotten them out? It doesn’t make sense. Nothing about any of this makes any fucking sense!

“You’re forgetting something vital Jack. You are sitting here as a 33 year old man talking to another 33 year old man. I was just a kid same as you were then. I was scared, horrified at what was happening around me. I was 18, same as you! I didn’t see you getting off your arse and getting us out! I don’t remember you taking on Davros’ entire crew to save me! I didn’t see you getting beaten and raped because you refused to comply even when drugged! I was a fucking child Jack!” he yells back. Jon had tried...really tried to maintain his temper, but...well...even he can only take so much.

Oh God, he’s right. Jon’s so right. He feels sickened with shame at even asking any of these questions. Jack looks at him, with as much remorse as he can infuse into his voice says, “I’m sorry Jon. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have even asked. This is…I’ve never known how you got us out. I have always been too scared to ask and I’m sorry, truly Jon, I am so sorry to have put you through this.”

“Does that make the question and answer portion of the drive over then? Or is there more you’d like to know, because this is it Jack, your one chance to ask and learn any little thing that’s been plaguing you all these years. I don’t want the question of whether I’m a rapist, murderer or kidnapper cropping back up and we will never discuss this again. So before you say it’s done you’d better be damn sure you mean it,” Jon says harshly.

“Are we ok Jon?” Jack asks quietly.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) Jon sighs, “Yeah Jack. We’re okay. We’re always going to be okay. If I was going to toss you out on your arse it would have been the other night when you asked if you were living with a kidnapper and rapist if I’m being honest. So is that it? Is your inquiring mind sated then?”

“Yes, and I’m sorry Jon. You’re right I had no right to question you. I am so sorry,” Jack responds regretfully.

“Forgiven, now as Rose would say moving the fuck on yeah?” Jon says trying for light and easy but not pulling it off.

“Yeah,” Jack sighs out. He is constantly surprised by Jon’s ability to forgive. He’s not sure he could be that forgiving if the tables were turned in this situation.

“Great,” Jon beams a smile at him, “Now I need something from you Jack.”

“What?” Jack asks while fiddling with the radio.

“Well…2 things actually. 1) Rose can never know what happened in London. She may be willing to put up with me being clingy, needy and even possessive, but she can never know what I’m capable of doing or becoming. B) You need to pull the car over; I’m going to be sick,” Jon says in a very matter of fact tone.

Jack pulls the car to a stop on the side of the road and Jon’s head is hanging out the door before it’s even fully stopped. He doesn’t think sick is the appropriate word for what Jon’s going through. Once the actual vomiting stopped he continued dry heaving for at least 20 minutes. “Jesus Christ Jon. What‘s going on? Are you going to be ok? Do you need to go to A&E or something?” Jack asks with slight worry in his voice.

“Call Rose,” Jon groans out before heaving out the door again

Jack is on his cell trying to call Rose but it just keeps ringing and going to voicemail. He finally gives up and calls Rory’s cell. Rory answers on the 3rd try.


	17. Chapter 17

Rose and Rory walk into the shop and it’s a mess. Amy is at the counter and customers are piled up waiting for their drinks. Clara is behind the register taking orders and ringing people up as quickly as possible.

“Great, I feel like shit and now I have to work,” Rose grumbles as she heads over to one of the espresso machines, “Rory, be a lamb and start bussing the tables for me please,” Rose hollers out over the noise of the machines.

“You do know I’m the owner of the shop and not your employee right?” Rory hollers back to her.

"As the owner you should be more concerned about how the shop is running rather than being worried to get your hands a little dirty,” she quips back at him. It takes about 20 minutes but between the four of them get everyone served and the shop cleaned back up.

Rory, Amy and Rose all head over to Rory’s table. Clara makes them all their preferred drinks and brings them over taking a seat at the table. “Has it been busy like that all day?” Rose asks.

“Nah, bit of a rush the last hour’s all. Glad you two showed up though,” Clara answers.

“You’re not looking so great Rose. Not feeling well again?” Amy asks with a touch of worry in her voice.

“Actually, that’s why we came in. I wanted to talk to you about some…things,” Rose tells her.

“Things? That sounds ominous,” Amy laughs.

Rose grimaces and starts to blush a little. Talking to Rory about it was hard enough, but here in a public place? She’s not so sure she’ll be able to say everything she needs to. Amy and Clara take in her blush and smile at her.

“It’s okay Rose, you’re not going to say anything that I haven’t heard,” Amy says kindly.

“Don’t bet the farm on that Babe,” Rory says.

“Rose tell us what’s going on so we can try to help,” Clara says.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “There’s something weird happening with me and Jon,” she throws out.

“Define weird. Are we talking aliens have taken over my boyfriend weird, he likes me to dress in anime costumes weird or my boyfriends a closet cross dresser weird?” Amy asks with a serious expression.

“Uh…well…none of those actually. It’s more…(Deep breath in, Deep breath out) an electrical current when we touch or even when we don’t, shared visions of past, present and future during…uh…intimate moments, possessiveness that should be upsetting but really, really isn’t, panic attacks, not being bothered in the slightest that we didn’t use protection and I could be pregnant and just for fun this terrible sickness we both get when we’re not together kind of weird,” she says gulping in air she lost from talking so fast.

Amy and Clara both stare at her in shock. “How does someone even learn to speak that fast?” Clara asks.

“How…how was your date with Matt?” Rose asks defecting the attention from herself.

“Oh, it was nice,” Clara says.

“Just nice? I’m sorry Clara, you seemed so excited about it,” Rose says with a small frown.

“It was okay. First date awkwardness I think. He did ask me out again, so that’s a good sign right?” she asks smiling.

“Uh…Clara in case you haven’t noticed I’m rather lacking in the ‘how to date’ advice department,” Rose replies with mild sarcasm.

“Yeah, right sorry,” Clara squeaks out embarrassed. She’s used to her friends having so much more experience than her in everything and she often forgets that even she has more experience than Rose when it comes to boys.

“I’m glad he asked you out again though. He’s a cutie that one,” Rose says smiling to her and she smiles back; clearly pleased with the praise she’d been given.

During this entire exchange Amy didn’t say anything. She’s going over everything Rose just rambled out and is trying to make some kind of sense of the information. Some of the things Rose said sound vaguely familiar to her but she can’t place where or why. Rory opens his laptop setting it in front of Amy and she looks at him curiously.

“Figured you’d want to do your research thing. I told Rose if anyone would be able to narrow down or figure out what was happening with her and Jon it would be you. That’s why we’re here,” Rory tells her, “Well that and I missed you,” he whispers in her ear, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

“I missed you too, but I’m not the one training to be a doctor. Why would I be able to figure out what’s going on?” Amy asks him.

“Rory…well…he thinks…It’s silly, I know it is but, he thinks it’s not caused by a medical reason,” Rose says nervously, playing with the hem of her shirt.

“Okay so not a medical issue. What do you think it is Babe? I mean you must have an idea if you brought her to me specifically. So what’s up?” Amy asks.

“I told her if anyone could figure out if it had something to do with them being...” his voice trails off so she can’t hear what he said at the end.

“Being?” Amy prompts him.

“Soul-Mates, THE ONE, you know fate, destiny, meant to be type stuff. I don’t believe in all that crap but you do. Figured maybe she’d feel better if you looked into it,” he replies more than a little embarrassed. He is a doctor after all, not some guy who reads Tarot cards and looks to crystal balls for answers. Rory just figured Amy would be able to keep Rose occupied until Jon returned and they could come up with a game plan.

“First off Rory Williams, I know good and well that you do believe in soul-mates. Second, it’s not crap, it’s real. It’s rare, but definitely real. How else do you explain people who meet one night, get married the next day and end up spending their whole lives together? How about when you meet your soul mate and you just know. Know that it’s right and good and love and you know, us,” she says, kissing him softly.

“Yeah, okay. Maybe you’ve made me believe in it a little,” he says as she pulls away from him.

“This shouldn’t take too long Rose. We’ll just do a search based on all of the symptoms? Is symptom the correct word? Is that what they would be considered? I don’t much care for that. It makes being in love and finding your soul-mate sound like an illness. Parameters maybe? Does that sound any better?” she asks the group.

“Search criterion,” Rory offers.

“Dull,” she says smiling, “So yeah, I’ll do a search based on the criterion you gave and see what pops up. As good a place to start as any I guess,” Amy says as she starts typing on the laptop, “Rose, grab a pen and paper and write down all of the ‘search criterion’ for me. It will be easier than asking every 5 minutes, thanks.”

Rose feels shaky and a little fevered, but stands to do as asked. She wobbles slightly and Clara catches her arm to steady her. “Alright there Rose? You don’t look so well. Why don’t you stay here? I’ll the stuff…and maybe some water,” Clara says.

Clara hands her the water first and Rose starts sipping at it, reaching for the pen and paper. She writes down all of the odd experiences she’s had since meeting Jon and hands the sheet to Amy. Laying her head on her arms and closing her eyes to ward off the increasing nausea she’s asleep in moments.

Rory is studying for his exams, Clara is running the store, Rose is still sleeping and Amy is running search after search combination trying to find out what’s going on with Jon and Rose. She’s becoming frustrated though. She’s been at this for at least 3 hours now and hasn’t found anything yet. In addition to that she’s had this niggling, annoying feeling in the back of her mind since Rose rushed everything out earlier. She feels like she has the information in her head and for some reason cannot dig it the hell out. It’s like when the lyric to a song is right there, so close to the surface but you just can’t quite grab it and it’s driving her a bit spare.

Amy stands up and grabs the paper with the criteria, folds it and puts it in her back pocket. “I’m going for a walk,” she says as she leans in and places a kiss on Rory’s head. “I need to clear my head, keep an eye on her,” she motions to Rose, “she’s not looking so well.”

She doesn’t wander far just down the road to a small park. She finds a place set back in some trees and it’s mostly quiet. Sits on the grass she puts her long legs out in front of her crossing at the ankles, her arms behind her on each side holding her up, closes her eyes and lifts her face into sun. Rory calls it ‘hippie love stuff’ but Amy just thinks it’s romantic. The idea that we were made for one person is beautiful.

7 billion people on this planet and Rory found her. She knows deep down he really believes they are soul mates. He doesn’t like to say it because he’s studying to be a doctor and they are all about science, but he’s told her. He tells her a lot actually, when it’s just them. So she knows he really does believe in it. Also, he brought Rose in to her, not the hospital, her. She thinks of Jon and Rose, how the connection was immediate. She saw it happen the day he came and took her. She saw it happen right in front of her and it was like magic, a fairytale playing out. Two souls coming together…Two Souls coming together! Amy leaps up and starts jogging back to the shop. She has it! Well okay, she thinks she has it. Is pretty sure she has it, hopes she has it anyways.

She rushes through the doors of the shop and takes in her surroundings. Clara is behind the bar and there are only a handful of customers, nothing she can’t handle on her own. Rory is next to Rose checking her pulse rate and her color is not good. She is very pale, Amy can tell from across the shop that her breathing is labored and she’s looks clammy. Amy goes to Rose and Rory and takes the damp rag and starts wiping her forehead with it. “What’s happened? She was alright when I left. How long was I gone? She looks terrible,” Amy rushes the words out.

“She’s gotten worse, yes she was fine when you left but that is clearly not the case now, you were gone for 2 hours and yes she looks awful,” Rory says quietly, “We need to get her to hospital I think. I’m not sure what’s going on but I can’t do anything for her here. She likely needs fluids at the minimum and maybe something for nausea as well. She definitely needs something to bring her fever down. Also, we need to hire an on-call person. Poor Clara always misses out on everything because she has to run the store. Come on help me get her to the car, I’ll drive and you look after Rose,” he says.

She helps Rory get Rose into the backseat of the car and lay her down, crawling in after her.

He hasn’t been driving more than a minute when his phone is ringing. “Jack, you guys need to get back. Rose and I were at the shop and she became violently ill. Amy and I are taking her to hospital now. I’m driving, I’m going to hand the phone to Amy,” Rory says before Jack can get a word in.

“Jack?” Amy’s voice says through the phone.

“Yeah it’s me Amy. Look I know Rose isn’t doing well but I need you to put the phone to her ear,” Jack states.

“Why? She’s super ill right now I’m not sure she’s much for talking,” Amy tells him.

“Just Do It!” Jack snaps into the phone, “Sorry. I’m sorry Amy I didn’t mean to yell, please just put the phone to her ear.”

“Alright,” Amy snaps back.

He can hear her telling Rose he’s on the phone and the rustling of the phone as it gets moved around. Jack reaches over and shakes Jon’s shoulder, “Jon, it’s Rose. She’s sick and on the phone. Can you try and talk?” he asks.

Jon sits up and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and says, “Rose? Rose Love, are you there?”

“Jon, I feel like shit. I feel like I’m dying,” she whines.

Jon can hear her crying and dry heaving between gasping to get enough air. He’s checking his pulse rate and monitoring his respiration while he’s on the phone with Rose. “Yeah Love, not feeling so well myself. How long has it been since we talked last?” he asks.

“Few hours at least,” she replies.

“Have Amy monitor your pulse and respiration while we’re talking alright?” Jon says and he hears Rose asking Amy to check her vitals for him.

“It’s been a long day. I really just want to crawl into bed and sleep for a month,” she tries not whining into the phone but fails miserably.

"I know me too. I’ll be home soon though. We’re almost there. How’s your pulse rate and breathing doing? Any better?” he asks, because his is getting better. He can breathe again, his pulse isn’t racing and the sick feeling in his guts is calming down.

“Yeah, it’s better. Quite a bit actually,” she responds in a surprised tone.

“Good…that’s…good. Listen, no reason to go to hospital. Have Rory take you back to the flat. I want you to grab one of my t-shirts from the hamper and throw it on, then crawl into bed and lay down on my pillow. The one that I’ve been using since you came to stay alright?” he says softly.

“But…why? That’s a weird request. Is this some kind of kink thing you have? Me in your clothes?” she says teasing him.

“Not going over my kinks on the phone Love. Just…trust me Rose. It may help you feel better. I know that makes no sense right now, but please just try it okay. I love you and I’ll see you at home after a bit,” he says quietly.

“I love you too,” she smiles into the phone.

“Jon said there’s no reason to go to hospital. He wants me to go back to the flat and wait there,” Rose tells them as she hands the phone back to Amy.

“Are you feeling better?” Rory asks.

“Yeah, not 100% but much better,” she says nervously, “This…stuff like this is what I’m trying to explain to you guys. You saw how sick I was…a phone call with Jon and I’m better? He’s better too? He’s just as sick as I am. This is not normal. This is not anxiety. I have lived with anxiety for a long time and this is not it,” she states confidently.

“Did he say anything else?” Amy asks her.

“He said no need for hospital, go to the flat and…grab one of his shirts from the hamper. He said to put that on and lay down but to use the pillow he uses. He was very specific that it had to be his shirt and his pillow. Don’t tell me that’s not weird. Then add in all the other things and something is most definitely peculiar. I know I don’t have a lot of experience with relationships but I am certain whatever is happening with Jon and I is not normal!” Rose almost yells.

“Rose relax. We’ll get this worked out. Since you and Jon got together life has been hectic,” Amy states as Rory pulls up to the curb outside the flat.

As soon as they enter the flat Rose says, “Shower. I feel gross and I’m starting to get queasy again.” She heads towards Jon’s room, steps in, heads to the hamper, grabs out the t-shirt he was wearing before he left, grabs clean pants from his drawer and heads into the shower.

As the hot water starts rushing over her she thinks Jon must have some idea of what’s happening. He told her to specifically wear his shirt and use his pillow. Is she suffering withdrawal? Jon withdrawal? Can a person suffer withdrawal from another person? It does remind her of when she was de-toxing. Not as intense but close. Is it possible to become addicted to a person? That can’t be a good thing. Being addicted to anything is bad, but to a person…no…how would that even work? Emotionally addicted maybe? She can see that, but this is a physical thing isn’t it. Could she be so emotionally attached to Jon that she’s having physical withdrawal symptoms? It’s not just the sickness either, there are all these other weird things happening.

Time stopping, shared dreams or visions or whatever that was, that electrical current that runs between them even if they are not touching, the rightness she feels when he’s with her. She still thinks she should be upset that they had not thought to use protection and she tries to make herself angry about it, but…well…she’s just not. Worse yet or maybe better yet (she’s not decided) she hopes she is pregnant. It’s just another in a list of things that makes no sense to her. This is fucking insane!

4 days ago she was Rose Tyler shop girl…okay shop manager girl, broken, alone, lonely and scared of her own shadow. Today she is Rose Tyler maybe mum? She is Rose Tyler definitely girlfriend, definitely not alone or lonely or scared really, but still broken she thinks. That at least has stayed the same; she has no idea what she’d do if she woke up a completely different person. Something is going on, she can’t put the pieces together and it’s aggravating! Stupid, Stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN! It never works right when she needs it to. She finishes washing, turns off the water and gets out of the shower. She wants to put lotion on all of her scars but she’s feeling poorly again. She puts on Jon’s clothes not bothering to dry off.

Pulling on the collar of his shirt she brings it to her face and inhales. It still smells like him she thinks walking to the bed and climbing in. She lies down on his pillow and breathes in again. She can smell him everywhere and he was right, she feels better. She doesn’t feel completely better but the sickness in her stomach has died down some and her pulse is slowing down. Definitely falls under the category of weird she tells herself. Closing her eyes and breathing in deeply, the scent of him surrounding her, it only takes moments before she’s sleeping.

Jon and Jack pull up to the curb outside the flat and park the car. It was a relatively quiet ride once they disconnected from Rose. Jon looks like shit and Jack was hoping if he stayed quiet enough Jon would fall asleep. It didn’t work. He was awake the entire time, but he was quiet, moderating his breathing and trying not to sick up in the car. He told Jack not to stop at all and just haul ass back to the flat.

Jon steps from the car and is immediately on the move. He feels terrible, is sure he looks even worse if the looks he’s getting from Jack tell him anything. In the lift, down the hall, through the front door; he doesn’t even bother with closing it. Down the hall, through the living room, down the hall, through their bedroom door and finally…she’s there, sleeping in his shirt and on his pillow and he was only gone one day. How could he have missed her so much in one bloody day? But he did and he doesn’t even realize he’s stripping off his clothes until he’s sliding under the covers and curling up behind her and finally…finally he can breathe again. He buries his head in her neck and inhales deeply, kisses the back of her neck and instantly passes out.

Jack enters the flat closely behind Jon. He had to jog to just to keep up with him on the way in. When he enters the flat he can see Rory and Amy cuddled up on the couch with an expression of confusion and looking down the hall towards the bedrooms. “I assume Jon headed in that direction,” he says pointing down the hall.

“Yeah and at a pretty good clip too. He didn’t even say anything. I’m not even sure he saw we were even here actually,” Rory says back.

“Something is off with those two,” Jack says with just a tinge of worry clouding his voice.

Amy looks at Jack and smiles as she says, “Rory and I were just discussing that actually and I may have diagnosed the issue. Right Babe?”

“So you found out what’s making them sick? Is it curable? I mean they aren’t like terminal or anything right? They weren’t infected with something or ingested something? Shit they’re not contagious are they? Whatever they have I want no part of it. Jon looked like hell and I think he probably felt even worse than he looked,” Jack says rapidly.

“This is all you Babe. I’ll go make some tea,” Rory says, kissing her before he stands up.

“To answer your questions; Yes I think I may have found what’s making them sick, yes and no for if it’s curable, no it’s not terminal, no they did not get injected or ingest anything that’s causing this and no they are most definitely not contagious,” she tells Jack.

“What do you mean yes and no about it being curable? What do you think is wrong with them?” he questions back.

Amy takes a long look at Jack as she tries to determine the best way to disclose the information to him. He sees her blow out a long breath and she closes her eyes before she says, “Jack, do you believe in destiny or fate at all?”

“I’ve never really given either much thought to be honest. Why?” he asks warily.

“What I’m going to say will sound ridiculous to you, but you need to hear me out before you make any judgments,” Amy says evenly.

“I’m not one to judge Amy, you know that,” he says winking at her.

“Not when it comes to sex or religion maybe, but trust me when I say even you are not going to be thrilled with what I’m going to say and you will think I have just been let out of the crazy house,” she replies in a composed tone.

“This would go faster if you’d just tell me Amy,” Jack says amused.

“Have you ever heard of soul-mates?” asks Amy.

“Yes, who hasn’t?” he replies.

“Well what’s wrong with them is kinda because of that. The being soul-mates thing. It’s rather complicated to explain, but the basics of it are this: Jon and Rose are what is termed Twin Flames or Twin Souls. The legend or myth whichever you prefer is really old. It says that when the world was new the Twin Fame was united as one soul. As the world grew and expanded the one soul split into two so they could experience duality in relationships. When the souls split and the cataclysm shook the earth all of the Twin Flames became separated. Throughout lifetimes they search for each other so they can be whole again. Mind, this is summarizing a lot, but that’s the gist of the legend,” Amy says trying to gauge his reaction.

“And you think this legend has something to do with Jon and Rose?” he asks as Rory comes back in with tea and sets the tray down, “Rory, has Amy flipped her biscuit? I mean surely you don’t think some legend is responsible for what’s happening here right?”

“Jack there is nothing medically wrong with either of them. Yes, they get sick and have symptoms of being sick, but nothing works to help them feel better except each other,” Rory states shrugging his shoulders as he hands Amy her tea.

“There’s other stuff too and it all fits. Everything Rose has described to us fits in with this theory,” Amy says as she digs out the list Rose made at the shop and hands it to Jack, “The electrical feeling: That was there from the first time they saw each other 3 years ago. It just intensified when they touched. Jon’s possessiveness: There was a threat to his Twin Flame and he kicked into protector mode, although that may never fade now; due to the fact that their rejoining wasn’t exactly a peaceful one. He was on high alert the whole time and so now that may just be part of their dynamic. The shared dream or vision, it’s…”

“Wait, what? They had a shared vision? Jon never said anything like that,” he says interrupting Amy.

“He doesn’t know about it. Rose thought she was riding a post-orgasmic high when she had it. She didn’t know until later that Jon had the same vision and then she was worried he’d think she was crazy or something if she said anything. But they had a shared vision yes. Except in this theory it’s referred to as telepathy. Rose told us that it happened when Jon placed his forehead to hers when they were intimate. She also said it happened more than once, but each time it was when Jon put his forehead to hers. Only the other times weren’t during sex. They also have repeatedly said that this is right and they just know it is. No way to explain it, it just is. How did Jon put it? He loves her, she loves him, the world is round and gravity keeps us from floating away…it just is. There’s actually a bunch of things that we’ve noticed with Rose and Jon that fit this theory. In fact everything about them fits it. Including what they both went through prior to meeting again or for the first time, depends on if you believe me or not. The theory says that once the soul was separated into two halves they would each have to endure a set of trials before they could rejoin,” Amy says excitedly, the words coming out in a rush.

“And this would cause them to get sick or panic when they aren’t together? That could get rather difficult in the real world Amy. If this is causing them to be sick, what do we need to do to get them better? And what other things are you talking about?” Jack questions skeptically.

“Everything about them fits this Jack. I know it sounds insane. However, with the absence of anything medically wrong with them and taking into account that it only happens when they are apart I’m without another answer. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth,” Rory tells him.

“That’s Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. You’re trying to convince me to believe a legend by quoting a fiction writer?” Jack says amused.

“Honestly, I’m not trying to convince you of anything Jack. Rose and Jon are the only ones who need to believe this theory. I’m with Amy in calling it a theory because myths cannot be proven. We may be proving the existence of this Twin Flame thing right now. I’ve got to say as a scientist that’s pretty fucking cool!” Rory exclaims almost as excited as Amy.

“Fine, whatever. How do we make them better? Jack sighs out a he flops onto the couch exhausted.

“We don’t do anything. The reason they are getting sick is because they separated during the rejoining. All they have to do is stay with each other until that’s completed and they’ll be great. Better than actually. If this theory holds true they will be able to sense how the other one feels from far away, maybe even communicate to each other over distance; without you know phones and Skype and stuff. They won’t ever feel the need to lie or keep secrets from one another. There are so many beneficial things if this is real,” Amy coos while animatedly bouncing up and down on the couch clapping her hands and smiling.

“So we just leave them alone and they’ll get better all on their own?” Jack asks disbelievingly.

“Yep, that’s pretty much it. If you have a better theory that fits the data we’d be more than happy to listen,” Rory says sarcastically, “No…nothing? Didn’t think so. Look, I’m not a fan of the mythical either, but at one time people, including scientists thought the world was flat. Do you think 100 years ago anyone could have imagined mobile phones, computers, and trips to the moon or even the kind of medicine that we practice today? The world changes Jack. It evolves and is constantly moving forward. Men used to be apes and then less apes and more man until there was you and me. When you start looking at this theory in scientific terms rather than myths and fairy stories it starts to make sense. Who’s to say that what Rose and Jon are experiencing isn’t just the natural course of evolution happening. Maybe this is the next stage in human development. Telepathy, empathy, and psychics what if they are all real? Imagine how much good those kinds of people could do Jack. But on a smaller scale, think of what this could mean for our friends. They have been so hurt, broken and maybe the reason they never got any better before no matter how much we tried is that they had to have each other to heal properly. How completely awesome would that be?” Rory says excitedly.

“Maybe we should call Donna and Clara. They may want to know what’s going on too,” Amy suggests happily.

“Suppose you’re right. Give them both a call and have them come over here after the shop closes for the night. I don’t want you saying anything to Jon and Rose about this yet,” Jack says firmly.

“But, why? This is romantic and so frikken sweet I may need to get checked for cavities,” Amy whines and pouts at him.

“No, we’ll definitely fill them in on everything, just not until Clara and Donna get here is all,” Jack says to her soothingly.

“It’s okay Babe,” Rory tells her reassuringly, “he just doesn’t want to have to go through this more than once, right Jack?”

“Yes, once was enough for me. If I have to run through it again I want everyone who needs to know there,” he says.

“Okay, sure. I’ll not say anything until tonight,” Amy says smiling as she grabs for her phone to call Clara and Donna.


	18. Chapter 18

Rose jerks straight up in Jon’s bed and is having trouble catching her breath. Eyes wide she takes in her surroundings. Large glass window, wood paneled walls and Jon. It was a nightmare, it wasn’t real. He’s here with her, he’s fine and her breath is coming back to her, the blood rushing through her body making her head throb in pain slowing down. She lies back into the pillows, turns to face him and runs her hand through his hair. It was just a dream she tells herself over and over as she traces his face with her eyes.

She wonders what happened at the prison with Jimmy, if he truly is no longer a threat to her. If he’s really out of the picture maybe she could contact her mum. It has been so long since she’s seen her and she misses her so much. She’ll have to speak with Jon and Jack first. She needs to be sure before she contacts Jackie. As she lays there looking at Jon and thinking of her mum she hears voices from the living room. Donna, Clara, Amy, Rory and Jack are all laughing and going on about something rather loudly.

Jon starts to wake from the laughter and noise. He slowly opens his eyes to see a pair of burnt sugar colored eyes looking back at him and a slow smile spreads across his face. “Hello,” he says softly.

“Hello,” she quietly replies back to him, her smile growing to match his.

“How are you feeling?” Jon asks as his hands find her hair and pull it back from her face.

Fine now, you?” Rose whispers.

“Mmm…Much better now that I’m home. I missed you yesterday…or today…what time is it?” he whispers leaning in to place a kiss on her lips; slow and soft and sweet and perfect. Pulling back from the kiss he says, “I think we have company. Sounds like the gangs all here. Wonder what that’s all about?”

“I’m sure everyone is almost as curious as I am regarding your trip,” Rose says quietly.

He sees she’s no longer making eye contact and the hand not currently wrapped in his hair is worrying on the seam of his blanket. “Rose Love, the matters been handled. I promise he’ll not be a bother to you or anyone anymore,” he says, raising her face to make her eyes meet his.

“What happened though? How do you know? How can you promise that?” she rapid fires the questions to him, her pitch and volume rising as well, “I…I’d like to contact my mum, but I can’t until I know Jimmy won’t come after her.”

“How about we get up, get some coffee and we can talk…to everyone. There’s a lot of information to get through. Best if we only have to go through it once yeah?” he says.

“Yeah, alright,” she whispers.

Something is wrong. Rose is obviously upset about something. He doesn’t think its Jimmy; he’s told her it’s been handled. But something is definitely wrong. Jon has that same feeling he had outside her flat…wrong…wrong…Wrong, he thinks before he says, “Rose, what’s the matter? Honestly this Jimmy thing has been handled and…”

“No it’s…it’s not Jimmy. Why…do you know what’s happening Jon? With us I mean?” Rose asks, worry lacing her voice.

“You’re referring to the sickness and electrical feeling?” he asks. He hopes that’s what this is, what she’s concerned about. He hopes it’s not a question of what’s between them again.

“Yes and the…other stuff too,” she says.

“What other stuff?” he asks surprised.

“It’s more than just getting sick and electricity Jon, you know it is. There’s the feeling of time stopping, the absolute certainty that we both feel in such a short amount of time, the fact that neither one of us had any concern that I might have gotten…pregnant. The shared…dream thing that happened, the high levels of anxiety we both feel when the other leaves even for just a short amount of time. It’s more than just tingly feelings and a sick stomach. It’s…I don’t know…it’s not that it feels weird so much as it’s disconcerting that it doesn’t. If that makes any sense,” she tells him quickly, but her voice is…scared…fragile, he thinks.

“What shared dream?” he responds, as that is the thing that stuck out to him. The other things she mentioned he’s aware of but not this dream thing, she’s not mentioned that before now.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “The first time we were…together. You…when you put your forehead to mine, I saw…us. It was like watching a movie of our life. It started with the first time I saw you at the shop and then went up to the moment you nicked me from work. Then…” she trails off. Rose still thinks this is a bit insane. What if she’s wrong? What if what she thinks happened didn’t? What if she’s actually crazy?

Jon watches as she starts the spiral of self-doubt. He sees her freeze up and can almost see the thoughts racing through her mind. She thinks she’s going insane. He can feel it, can feel the emotions coming off of her in waves assaulting him. She thinks this can’t be real and he’s going to be done with her once he realizes she’s a nutter. She hears him break into her thoughts. “Rose Love, I’ll not think you’re crazy. Whatever is happening between us is happening to both of us alright? Whatever you need to say it’s okay, I promise,” he tries to reassure her.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) Rose asks, “Do you remember when you said you saw our life together?” Jon nods his head yes, thinks it’s better to stay quiet until she gets this out. “Yes…well…I…I saw it too. The same thing you saw. There was a sound, like a lock being closed. After that I saw…everything. The same things you said you had seen. How…how can that happen? What’s happening with us?” she stammers out, her voice tiny and shaky.

She’s kept her voice quiet and externally she appears calm, but he can feel it. He can feel how worried she is about this whole thing. She’s not wrong either. The last several days…since him taking Rose from work have seemed unreal…like a low budget horror movie. It seems as if every hour that passes some life-altering thing pops up. Now, that doesn’t mean that everything that’s happened has been bad; quite to the contrary, most of the things have been brilliant, wonderful and have changed his life (and he hopes hers too) in only the best of ways. Jon wants to alleviate her worries but she’s asking questions he has no answers too…yet. He will find the answers, but the last few days have required prioritizing, and this…well it had to be moved down the list so he could handle the Jimmy issue.

“I don’t have those answers for you yet Rose, but we’ll figure it out okay? I don’t want you worried or scared…ever. We will work this out. Genius, me. So, how about we get some coffee and see what all our lovely, well meaning friends have in store for us tonight hmm?” he says with a gentle smile.

“Yeah okay…just…can we just stay in here a bit longer?” she asks quietly.

Jon reaches over her and grabs the remote. He closes the blinds to block out the light from the city casting the room into blackness and sets the remote back down. “We can stay in here as long as you like Rose,” he whispers to her.

Jon pulls her closer and she slides over until she is pressed fully against him, her face buried in his chest, his scent surrounding her. “Jon am I going crazy?” she asks quietly. He can feel the tears falling from her eyes and landing on his chest.

“No Love, we’re not going crazy. I know a lot has happened in the last few days and there are more questions than answers right now, but we are not crazy,” he states quietly but with confidence.

He is confident in that, he knows they are not going insane. Whatever is happening doesn’t feel wrong or negative, not even odd really. The only thing that’s really concerning him is the sickness aspect of it. Jon places both his hands on her face and brings his lips to hers. He thinks as he kisses her that if they are going crazy it’s in the most wonderful ways.

His tongue swipes at her lower lip begging entrance and she allows it without hesitation. She missed this, missed the way he makes her feel safe and loved and…happy. As his tongue slides against hers, the electricity between them keeps intensifying until they are both nothing more that writhing masses against each other. Jon gently pushes on her shoulder until she’s lying on her back and makes himself a space between her legs.

He’ll never get enough of this; kissing her, touching her…her…just Rose. Jon has no comparison for what she makes him feel. He just knows this…just her…as time stops and there is nothing but the two of them so wrapped in each other that nothing else matters. His mouth starts to move down to her neck to that spot below her ear that makes her melt beneath him. His hands removing her shirt, the pants she’s wearing and he has no clue how but his are already gone. Each time he touches her he thinks this time he will be able to go slow and each time he is consumed with electricity and heat and wet and light and Rose and now, now, now…rightfuckingnow; mine, **mine** , **MINE**.

Jon rests his forehead to hers and she hears him (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “We’re not crazy Rose. We’re falling in love or have fallen in love. I’m not sure what that’s supposed to be like. I’ve never been in love before. I just know that I am…with you and I always, always want to feel this,” he whispers to her.

They’re not moving, not kissing. He’s lying between her thighs, both completely naked, every inch of skin that can be pressed against each other is. The intensity of that electrical feeling is ramping up higher, their breaths coming in staccato beats. It feels to him as if her thoughts and feelings are combining with his own. He needs to be in her now, now, now, mine, mine, mine, he doesn’t know if that’s him or her and he’s trying to remember why it even matters when it happens. He can feel her…not just her body…her…everything she feels. More importantly he can feel what she feels for him. It’s overwhelming to realize that someone could love him like that, that she returns what he feels for her completely and it’s making him dizzy with need and lust and oh God yes please.

Jon rests his forehead to hers and Rose sighs. She loves this, loves him, loves the way he can make her feel safe and loved and …calm. She thinks of how much she loves him, how she cannot imagine a single second of her life without him now. She feels her breathing speeding up to match her pulse as the electricity becomes almost overpowering. There’s a heady sensation almost like she’d gotten high. Rose realizes the heady feeling is Jon; she can feel what he feels. She wants to be concerned but can’t because all she can feel is him. What he feels for her, it’s consuming and she realizes it’s exactly what she feels for him. Sensation races through her and is followed quickly by a subtle wave of...hesitation.

He doesn’t know, doesn’t realize that she can feel it too. She wants to tell him she knows. That he’s not alone and she’s here with him; experiencing this as well, to reassure him. But her breathing is coming in disjointedly and she can’t catch her breath enough to form the words. She reaches up grabbing his face, trying to calm him and the middle finger of each hand comes to rest on his temples as she tries to move him to look at her and then…she feels it.

Something in the sensation changes; it becomes stronger…intense. She can feel him and he can feel her. It’s…she doesn’t know…he doesn’t know. “Rose?” he says, but he doesn’t know what to say after that.

“Jon, what’s happening?” she whispers.

“I don’t know,” he whispers back, “but this is…”

“Brilliant,” she says as her lips meet his, her tongue sliding into his mouth.

“Everything, you’re everything Rose,” she hears at the same time she feels him, his fingers running through her slickness. “Rose Love, please I need you so much I…” his voice trails off.

She knows why he can’t finish the thought, can feel the emotions that are clogging his throat. She moves just enough that his tip is at her entrance and he can hear her, “love me, love me, love me,” over and over. Her emotions and need for him are coursing through him and he can feel her wet and hot against him. Jon removes his hand, his mouth finds her neck and he pushes into her.

He has no idea what’s happening, knows she doesn’t either. Emotions are coming and going between them but moving too fast to understand. Everything stops except him moving inside of her and her moving around him. No light or sound, just her, just him. He’s sucking on that spot on her neck darkening the mark that’s already there; thrusting and thrusting and thrusting and it’s not enough he thinks. “Jon…Fu…Don’t Stop,” he hears and in that instant everything changes again.

Images, he’s seeing images of Rose. Her whole life is being played out before him. Her childhood, school, gymnastics, friends and fights, the death of her father, the fights with her mum. Jimmy – he sees everything – every moment with him, every moment after up to now and he’s crying for her, for what she had to endure to get here, to be with him. He holds her tighter, pushes harder into her at a frantic pace and he feels like he can’t breathe…can’t get enough air but he can’t stop either.

Rose knows what he’s seeing. She’s seeing his life as well. His childhood, Donna, his parents living and happy, Harry, school and friends, their death, him leaving everything behind, Jack, River Davros, the basement, the escape…every second of his life. It’s all flying past so quickly and she knows she’s missing things but she just cannot stay focused while he’s moving inside of her. He’s crying for her and she sobs for him; for his life up to now. So lonely, scared and fragile, so different from the face he shows the rest of the world. “Never again, never alone, forever Jon, I’m yours forever,” she’s at his ear whispering to him between sobs and gasps and sighs. She hears him trying to respond but it’s completely incoherent. She’s too far gone with lust and heat and electricity and Jon to try and focus on this connection that’s happening.

Rose feels the heat, the electricity rising higher, she’s so close to tipping over the edge and she hears his voice grinding out through his teeth between ragged breaths, “I can’t…Rose…cum now…now…I can’t...” he pushes two fingers onto her clit, she feels him pulse inside her as both their bodies go rigid and she follows right after. It feels like she’s floating and flying and being ripped apart and put back together all at the same time. Light, sound, heat, time…there’s nothing except him. The emotions keep ricocheting from him to her and back again until there is no her, no him, just them. One person, One soul.

As their breathing slows he falls on top of her; his mouth immediately on hers, his tongue pushing against hers. It’s the oddest thing, she’s her and he’s him; but he’s also her and she’s also him and neither knows what to do with the overwhelming emotions that are assaulting them. Rose wraps her legs around his waist, flipping them without ever breaking from the kiss. He’s still hard inside of her, she knows he came and he’s mumbling against her mouth refusing to stop kissing her, “never, never, never enough Rose. I’ll never stop loving you,” he hears her whimper, feels her start to move over him.

She’s grinding herself onto him completely lost to reality. The heat and electricity hasn’t died down since they started making love and the more she moves above him the more it increases until he feels like he may combust internally from it. It’s just shy of painful, this feeling of being ripped and torn apart. Just when he thinks he can’t stand it any longer Rose yells, “Fuck Jon, I…what…Oh my GOD! I,” she loses her voice, can’t finish the thought as he thrusts once, twice, three times from under her, “ **loveyouloveyouloveyouloveyou** ,” he hears in his head as she clenches around him over and over. His seed spills into her and he’s moving them again; turning them back over so she’s under him. Jon grabs her thighs pushing her legs up and he’s moving inside of her again before she’s fully come down. He feels her muscles clamp tight around him again. It’s only been moments since the last time and he can already feel it starting in the base of his spine. He pushes once more into her and cums again…then nothing. They both fade into a black nothingness as he falls on top of her.

“Should we go and wake them up,” Clara asks.

“How long were they sleeping before we all got here,” Donna asks Jack.

“Jon and I got here about 4-ish and Rose was already in bed before we got here. It’s close to 7:30 now I think that’s a long enough nap. The sooner they get up the sooner we can explain everything to everyone,” Jack says to the group. No one moves and they all stare at each other.

“Uh, who’s going to wake them up?” Clara whispers.

Every person in the living room looks at each other, then all eyes fall to Clara and with a resounding unified voice they say, “You.”

Clara looks apprehensive and whines, “Why? Why me? I don’t want to interrupt anything. I’m not good with people being mad at me. Why me again?”

“Clara, you are the sweetest and kindest of all of us. You are the last one they will be upset with. Besides neither has seen you in a few days and maybe that will be less irritating to them,” Amy says grinning at her.

“Fine, but if they come out screaming and yelling I’ll tell them you made me do it,” she pouts. Knock, knock, knock and she listens for any sign of movement.

Nothing. Knock, KNOCK, KNOCK, again she waits. This time she is rewarded with sound and she hears Jon holler, “We’ll be right out Clara.”

Weird, how’d he know it was me she thinks heading back to the living room. She sees that Jack and Donna are setting trays down with coffee, creamers, sugar and, “Biscuits?” she asks.

“Jon’s less moody on a sugar rush,” Donna says flatly.

“Hey, do I knock funny?” Clara asks the group and they all look at her as if she had grown a third arm or something. “It’s just, when I knocked on the door, Jon knew it was me but I hadn’t said anything. I was just curious how he could tell from just a knock who it was is all. No need to look at me like that,” she says quietly.

“So they’re awake then?” Rory inquires.

“Yeah, Jon said they’d be right out,” she tells the group.

Knocking, he hears knocking and he tries to respond but he’s not awake enough yet. Then he realizes he’s been asleep on top of Rose…still inside of Rose actually. That can’t be good; he thinks he must be smothering her. He attempts to roll off of her when he hears the knocking again. It’s hesitant…the knocking…must be Clara. He tries to move off of Rose but her legs clench around his waist and trap him in place. “We’ll be right out Clara,” he hollers.

It’s still black in the room and he can’t see her but he knows she’s awake. He bends down to kiss her, tries to move again and she says, “Stay, just for a minute.” The emotion that rushes through him in that second is amazing and his tongue is back in her mouth and her hands are in his hair. He can feel himself growing hard inside of her. He’s already fully erect again, pushing in and pulling out of her as she rises to meet each thrust he makes. Her emotions are coursing through him increasing his need for her and he pushes in again. “So good, so good, God Jon you feel so,” she falls and loses her voice before the thought can finish.

He knows she’s cumming, doesn’t need whatever this connection is to tell him that, but fuck it’s so much better with it. He’s still kissing her; his mouth hasn’t left her once since he first started kissing her. He can feel the orgasm building again, it’s there working its way up his spine, spreading throughout his body. “I love you so much Jon, please, please,” Rose mumbles against his mouth as he feels her clenching for a second time around him and he falls with her.

“Love you Rose, always, stay always,” she hears him say before he falls to the side, dragging her with him, curling her into his side as they try to catch their breath.

“Wow…just wow,” Rose says as she tries to regain her breath and smiles into Jon’s chest.

“Yeah, that was…well wow pretty well covers it I suppose,” he laughs out as he runs one hand through his hair. Rose starts pulling away to get up and he holds tighter to prevent her from leaving.

“Jon, we have friends waiting on us and if we don’t come out soon they’ll just be back here beating on the door again,” she tells him, kissing across his chest.

“Fine,” he sighs out, releasing her to get up. Rose leaves the bed and turns on the bedside lamp.

“Eventually you will have to show me how to work that remote. If I’m to be...living…here I should at least be able to work the lights,” she says shyly, looking for her clothes.

Living here…she’s going to live here with me. She just properly acknowledged it and everything…she’s really staying he thinks excitedly. Rose can feel his excitement at her words and wonders if she should tell him, wonders if he can feel her the same way. “Can…Jon can you feel what I’m feeling?” she says hesitantly.

He immediately feels a sense of panic that he knows it not his. “Yes…I…Rose its okay. Or it’s going to be okay. You’re not alone and not going crazy. I can feel it too,” he says trying to ease her panicked thoughts.

“This will take a bit of getting used to,” she says, trying to rein in her emotions.

“Yes, it certainly will. There has to be some way of controlling it,” he says, “I’ll look into it tomorrow. For now though, we need to get dressed and into the living room.”

“I just…I’m just going to hop in the shower and I’ll meet you out there,” she says heading to the en suite.

“Rose Love, you’re only delaying the inevitable by…”

“The mess Jon,” she says interrupting him slightly irritated.

“Oh...Right...yes...you shower and I’ll head out,” he says, shaking his head trying to get his bearings.

He takes in the scene in front of him as he rounds the corner. Clara and…Matt? What’s he doing here? Amy is sitting in Rory’s lap on the floor in front of the fireplace, his head buried in the back of her neck and his face covered in her long ginger hair. A week ago seeing that would have caused feelings of jealousy in him. A week ago he thought he was going to die alone, sad and pathetic. Now though when he sees them, he’s happy; happy for them, happy for him…just happy. Donna and Jack are on the couch talking quietly with each other…about him and Rose no doubt. Those two together are worse than teenage girls when it comes to gossip and being nosy. Then he looks over to Clara and Matt sitting on the floor facing each other and talking animatedly about…well…its Clara so Lord knows what the conversation is. “Good evening everyone,” he says grabbing the attention of the room.

“Where’s Rose? She’s not still sick is she Jon? She looked terrible earlier today,” Clara says in a rush of words.

“No she’s…she’ll be right out, but she’s fine…all better. Matt, hello. Nice to see you…out of class. Not that I mind, but why am I seeing out you of class…in my flat,” he asks the younger man.

“He’s my date. Since you keep having drama that prevents me from going on said dates, and yes I did say dates as in plural, more than one, I’ve decided to bring him with. I’ve said I’d not be cancelling anymore so here we are,” Clara tells him firmly, well as firmly as Clara gets which is really not at all.

“Be that as it may Clara, do you really feel this is the proper place and time to have a date? There are things that we need to discuss…private things,” he finishes quietly.

“Actually Dr. Ardis, I’m caught up on everything that’s going on. More so than you I’m guessing by the look of complete and utter shock on your face. Clara you didn’t tell Dr. Ardis you’ve been talking with me did you?” he says as he looks away from Jon to Clara.

“Haven’t really had the chance have I? All this crazy weird stuff happening, nicking people from work, running off to London and that’s in between them being sick all over,” she states defending herself, “I would have had I been given the chance. It’s not like I tried to keep it a secret after all, but I’m always the one stuck at the damn shop!” she continues, frustration lacing her tone as she looks at both Matt and Jon.

“It’s not a bother Clara, truly it’s fine,” everyone turns when they hear Rose.

“Rose,” Amy squeals, bolting from Rory’s lap, “We were really worried for a bit, but…well…” she trails off. Amy was excited earlier that she had figured out what was happening. Now though, she’s worried they won’t believe her, think it’s just another Amy is ridiculous thing.

“Well what?” Rose prompts.

“Why don’t we take a seat, have some coffee and discuss everything,” Jack offers.

“We have a lot of information to get through tonight and it’s all important so there’s no real way to prioritize it. With that said, we should start with Jon and Jack’s trip to London,” Donna states, taking control because that’s what she does. “Jon, floors all yours.”

“Err…yes London,” he stammers out. He looks over at Jack who is not looking at anyone and has his head down admiring the wood floors, “You didn’t…uh…fill them in at all Jack?”

“No, I felt it was better to wait for you,” he says giving Jon a knowing look, “I didn’t want to have to cover anything more than once, figured it was best to just wait till we were all together.”

“Okay, well the only important thing about the trip to London is that Mr. Stones has been dealt with and I assure everyone,” he looks right to Rose, “that he’ll not be an issue any longer. No need for the specifics yeah?” he asks the group.

Jon knows that of course they are going to want specifics but he had to at least try. He’s pretty certain that Rose is aware of what happened in London; thinks she saw it all during that…sharing memories incident that occurred while they were…NO! No! Brain stop! He hears a giggle from Rose as he’s internally screaming at himself, she felt that flare of arousal that ran through him and he gives her a filthy grin.

“How was he dealt with? How do you know he’ll not be an issue in future?” Rory asks.

“Yep…okay then…specifics,” he mumbles, “I had a chat with him, tried to get him to come to a civilized and rational agreement about Rose,” Jon can feel the anger starting again at the memory of talking with Jimmy earlier, flashes of what he saw during the…incident with Rose come crashing on him and he’s instantly furious.

Rose feels his anger spiking and she leans her head on his shoulder, entwining their fingers. Jon starts calming immediately at her touch. “It’s alright Jon. Tell them an edited version. They don’t need to know everything you did for me today,” she whispers.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “So basically I asked nicely that he leave Rose alone, he refused, I asked nicely again and offered cash, and he refused. I then asked less nicely which involved…err…well…less nice things and he still refused to comply. I then made sure he understood that complying with my demands was not voluntary. He’ll not be getting out in 7 years or 70 years. Mr. Stones will spend the rest of his days locked up in Prison and he has a babysitter to guarantee his…continued good behavior. I’m sure you’d all like more detailed information, but that’s all you’re getting,” he states firmly, the words rushed and jumbled as they pour from his mouth.

“Right then, as long as it’s been handled,” Donna states. She wants to move this along; it’s clearly an uncomfortable topic.

“What’s next?” Clara asks.

“Oh, OH, Me, Me, Me!!! Amy squeals, bouncing up and down on Rory’s lap raising her hand excitedly.

Rory grabs her tightly around the waist and whispers in her ear, “Amy My Love, if you don’t stop bouncing on me like I’m a trampoline you’ll not be explaining anything because we will be going home or to one of the other rooms.”

She settles instantly, turns and kisses his cheek, “Later Tiger,” she whispers.

Donna grins at her and says, “Okay Amy, floors all yours.”

Amy jumps off Rory’s lap, grabs his laptop and the remote for the ridiculously huge telly. She fiddles around for a bit until she has everything on and loaded. “You’ve made a power point presentation? When did you even have time to do that?” Jon asks impressed and amused.

“Oh, well I figured all of this out this morning while you were gone then put this together while you two were napping,” she says smiling, clearly proud of herself.

“Figured what out?” Jon asks her curiously.

“Well, if you’d shut up and quit asking me questions I could tell you,” she lightly snaps at him.

“Yes, quite right. I’ll just be…shutting up now then, sorry,” he says, smiling sheepishly.

Amy clicks the mouse to move to the first slide. “Twin Flames,” she says to the room. Amy goes through each slide diligently. She doesn’t want to skip anything or mess anything up. It’s very rare that she gets to be the expert on anything in her social circle so this is very exciting for her. As she’s making her way through the slides explaining how each thing Jon and Rose have been experiencing fits with her theory she looks around to see that everyone understands. She’s a little bummed and more than a bit curious to see the only ones even remotely surprised by this information is Donna and Clara, even Matt seems to know what she’s talking about. “Well, that’s it I suppose. My theory of what’s happening with you guys. I know it seems farfetched and…” before she can finish she has a crying Rose hugging her.

No one has said anything since Amy finished and she’s starting to get a little miffed that they don’t believe her. She knows Rory believes her. Okay, he’s hoping it’s real but that’s almost the same as believing her. She knows Jack is skeptical but willing to see where this theory goes at least. Clara looks like someone just read to her from Grimm’s Fairytales, Matt is smiling like some manic loon, she has no idea what that’s about and Donna, well she looks completely incredulous, but as she looks at Jon, he seems peaceful, content, happy she thinks.

“Thank you Amy, for doing all of this. For figuring out what’s happening with us. To be honest I thought I was going insane for a bit,” Rose cries softly into her Amy’s shoulder.

“You believe me?” Amy asks, a stunned and pulling away from Rose.

Just as Rose is about to say something they all hear Donna's voice cut through the silence, “This is a bit out there Amy, even for you. I mean, I know you believe in astrology, destiny and the like, but come on; we cannot properly figure out what’s happening if we look at fairy stories for explanations,” she says very seriously.

Rose tries to speak again, but Matt’s voice rings out.

“Don’t be so quick to dismiss Amy’s theory. This is my field of study at Uni and I’ve learned quite a lot about the Twin Flames mythology. Even did a few papers on it for my mythology and theology classes, it’s really very interesting. Amy you did a wonderful job summarizing and simplifying it for everyone, especially given the short amount of time you had,” Matt says smiling.

Amy smiles back, feeling encouraged by Matt’s praise, looks to Donna and says, “Ha!” and sticks her tongue out at her like an impish, petulant child. As Rory watches her he realizes it’s time. It’s time to stop messing around like they are still young kids in secondary school, time to stop dragging other people into their relationship to keep things from crossing into serious territory, because it’s already happened. He doesn’t want to share her or be shared anymore. He’s so in love with her that sometimes he thinks he may die from trying to keep it all in. He decides right then, as she’s sticking her tongue out at Donna in a huff, he’s going to ask her to marry him.

He’s ready for that. He has a good job and he’s almost done with his training to be a doctor. He makes a decent income from the shop and they have a decent place. She’s 26 now and he’s 29. It’s time they settle down, stop playing games. He’s been thinking this for the last year or so, hasn’t said anything because he wanted to be sure before he brought it up to Amy, but he wants a family with her. He knows he’s ready to be a dad and the image of Amy, round and swollen with his babies makes him a little misty eyed. Yes, he’s going to ask her. Not tonight mind, that would be well…not inappropriate, but not how he wants to do it either. He shakes his head to bring himself back to the present, tuning into the conversation. He sees Matt’s hand up warding off Donna’s verbal attack.

“Jon, Rose? You both have been very quiet during this whole matter. Since this is all about you really, I’d expect you’d have more to say,” Matt poses to them both.

Jon and Rose look to each other. They hadn’t had a chance to decide what information to share and what to keep between themselves. The whole room turns to stare at them and she feels…exposed and reluctant about this whole thing.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Just tell them, we should tell them everything Jon,” she whispers, her voice slightly shaky.

“Yes…well…” Jon points to the telly and waves his hand in a motion to show what he’s referring to, “All of…that. Yep,” he says, feigning enthusiasm.

“All of what?” Donna asks, watching him very closely. He feels like a field mouse about to be eaten again.

“That,” he gestures again to the telly, “everything Amy covered in her presentation. It was a lovely presentation by the way Amy and…Thank you. I didn’t say it earlier and I should have. I’m just…well…it’s quite a lot to take in isn’t it? Telepathy, empathy, soul mates, this is supposed to be stuff we tell children for bedtime stories,” he says, standing and pacing the room, one hand working the back of his neck the other shoved into the pocket of his jeans.

“Are you trying to tell me that you believe this? That this is what’s happening between Rose and you? You can talk to her in your head?!” Donna knows her voice is rising, becoming that high shrill sound that drives Jon barmy, but she cannot believe a man as smart as him would believe this for one second let alone apply it to his own life. He’s about to respond when Rose stands up and walks over to Donna.

She takes Donna’s hand in hers and is reminded of the many, many times Donna held her hand just like this, at her bedside in the facility as she read to her, fed her and was there for her when no one else was. She looks into Donna’s eyes (Deep breath in, deep breath out), “Yes Donna, this is real. I know it seems impossible, but all these things that Amy explained, they are already happening,” she says slowly. The entire room falls silent when she says that. They remain quiet for several minutes as everyone processes the bombshell that was just delivered.

“That is so FLIPPING COOL!” Clara shouts, springing up from the floor. “Is it all the time? Do you have touch to make it happen? Is it only during naughty times,” she says turning pink. She’s never known Jon or Rose to be sexual people so she’s still adjusting to that. She’s not one to shy away from topics of sex, but really she never thought either one of them would do it. It’s like finding out the Nuns who taught you in Catholic school had sex with the priest…eww…bad image…bad…bad…bad! Mental Floss STAT! Just gross! “Can you feel what she’s feeling right now?” she hurriedly asks Jon, trying to erase the image from earlier, “Do you know what he’s thinking right now Rose?” she’s firing questions at them so rapidly they don’t have time to answer her.

“Clara, sweetie,” Matt interrupts her, “How about we let them answer some of those questions hmm?” he says smiling, dragging her back to the spot they had carved out of the floor.

“Oh, sorry,” she coos, not really sorry at all, “It’s all a bit exciting though. It’s like seeing an alien or…or…a unicorn,” she squeals out. “Right, sorry. Calming down now,” she says sitting next to Matt.

Jon walks to Rose, grabs her hand, pulls her closer to him and says, “Yes, No, err…no but it’s uh…stronger then, Yes and No she doesn’t…I think,” he looks to Rose to confirm.

“No, I… don’t know what he’s thinking right now Clara, but I…I know what he’s...feeling,” she says as the entire room watches the blush start at her face and work its way down her chest.

Jack lets out a snort of laughter and stands up. He walks over to Jon and slaps him on the back and says, “Rose if that wonderful shade of pink you’re currently turning is anything to go by, we ALL know what he’s feeling right now.”

She looks up at Jon who is also currently very red in his face and grimaces. “Sorry,” she says quietly and horribly embarrassed.

“No worries Love,” he says, leaning in to kiss her but Clara interrupts him.

“Oh My God! You two are so…so…I don’t even have a word for what you two are. It’s like a fairy story come to life!” she gushes.

“But…no…what? This…all of these things they’re saying? They’re real? Jon? What…what’s going on? How can this be real?” Donna says, starting to flip out. She thinks she may have to call in the psycho squad to haul all of her friends away, “Did…did you all do drugs or something? This is barmy this is! Is this a joke? Are you all playing a prank on me? If so it’s not funny any longer!”

“No Donna, this is not a joke or a prank,” Jon says walking over to her still holding onto Rose. He uses his other hand to adjust Donna’s face so their eyes meet, “Listen to me Donna, please. This is happening, this is real and quite honestly, since it’s not happening to you…it would be wonderful if you could stop ranting and denying so that Rose and I,” he says pointing back and forth between them, “could get on with figuring out how to control it or use it or I don’t know…make sure we’re not in any danger from it,” his voice is rising, he’s becoming irritated with this conversation.

Donna is at first taken aback by Jon’s irritation with her until she realizes that she’s upset that he doesn’t have any answers for her, which in turn means he has no answers for Rose or himself. She needs to calm down, apparently this is…real and he’s going to need her help to figure out how to manage this new aspect of his life.

This isn’t happening to her! She has no reason to be spazzing like she is. He hasn’t gotten to freak out about it, neither has Rose…so no one else should either he thinks. Jon’s just about to say all of that quite loudly when he feels Rose clamp down on his hand just a little tighter. He feels a sense of calm wash over him and he looks at Rose in bewilderment. “Is that…was that you? How did you do that? Can I do that?” he asks her.

“I…I don’t know. I think that was me. I’m sorry I didn’t mean…” she starts to say.

Jon cuts her, “Rose, no its fine…better than really. I just…how did you do that?”

“I could just feel you were…I didn’t want you mad,” she says small, nervous.

Her anxiety is literally palpable to Jon. Rose is frightened he’s mad…oh…mad at her. “Rose Love, I’m not upset with you. I promise,” he whispers to her the anxiety and fear fading. This is…he doesn’t know…just brilliant he thinks as a huge smile crosses his face.

“Can you, it’s not…you can’t like read my mind right?” Donna stammers out. Having someone in your head, knowing every thought you have…no, just no. She’ll pass thanks.

“No, it doesn’t work that way,” Amy chimes in, “It’s just them. I mean the telepathy and emotion thing, it only works for them on each other. They don’t know what you’re thinking or feeling Donna.”

“We can’t or at least I can’t…I don’t hear thoughts or anything. It’s just emotions,” Jon looks at Rose and asks, “Can you…Do you hear what I’m thinking Rose?” Then he remembers he did hear her thoughts earlier; “ ** _loveyouloveyouloveyou_** ” plays through his memories.

“No. There’s just these feelings but I know they’re not mine,” she says quietly. This whole thing is really starting to freak her out. She’s trying not to let it, but well…that is not working.

“Can we test it?” Rory asks excitedly.

Jon sees Matt jump off the floor in a flurry of gangly limbs and tweed as he rushes to Rory’s side. “Agreed! Yes, we need testing. Wonderful idea Rory, little sad I didn’t suggest it first being my area of study and all, but well…I’m still new here, wasn’t sure how well you’d take to being treated like lab rats was I. Now that Rory brought it up though can we?” he asks trying to quell his obvious excitement and looking up at Rose with huge green pleading puppy dog eyes. He went for Rose because between her and Jon, he’s pretty sure she’s the soft touch if the prison conversation is anything to go by.

“Uhh,” Rose looks up to Jon who looks back at her and shrugs his shoulders, “What…uh…what kind of testing?” she asks Rory tentatively. She doesn’t know Matt, doesn’t know the kind of person he is so Rory is safer, she trusts him.

“We could head to my lab at the University and…” Matt starts to say.

“I,” she interrupts Matt and feels Jon hold her just a little tighter.

He can feel the anxiety rolling off her. “Matt, no offense, but we don’t know you. Not to say you’re a bad person mind, but we don’t know that do we? If anyone’s going to be running tests on us it needs to be someone we know and trust, someone like Rory. Now, should he want to involve you in said testing we can discuss that, but he’s to be in charge,” Jon says resolutely.

Jon feels Rose sag against him, the anxiety ebbing from her. He thinks this empathy thing can really come in handy. All those issues men say they have understanding women…nope not an issue and he has a huge grin at that. He wonders if this will progress further, hates that he has no knowledge of what’s happening to them. As much as he adores Amy (and he does,) he’s irritated that she has more information than him. “Rose, can you explain to me how you did that?” Jon asks her.

“How she did what?” Matt asks, “Are you doing it now, right now?” he’s getting excited again.

Jon thinks he looks like one of those yippy little dogs rich women carry around in their purses that wee when they get excited. “No Matt…just the emotion thing. I was angry, she felt that and was able to…I don’t know, direct calm to me…I guess that’s how to describe it,” Jon says, irritated that this interloper is asking questions.

“You’re doing it now? Can you do this whenever you want?” Matt rushes out.

“Doing what? What are you doing?” Clara asks.

“It’s empathy. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person,” Rory says, less impressed than Matt.

“What’s it like? Is it weird?” Clara asks before Rory finishes talking.

“That must be fantastic during sex,” Jack smirks.

“Ooh yeah, sex must be on a whole other level now,” Clara gushes out, “Though, for you two I imagine you wouldn’t really know the difference would you. I mean neither of you.”

Jon can feel Rose closing off, shutting down. This is all becoming too much for her, all the questions, people talking at once. He’s being battered by so many emotions so quickly and he thinks he may be sick from it all. Jon clamps down on her hand and drags her out the front door. As soon as the door is closed he pulls her into himself and just holds her for a moment. “Rose, we’ll work this out. I promise we will. Right now you and I have to work on trying to stay calm okay?” he says, panting due to lack of breath from everything he’s feeling.

Rose is crying, she’s trying not to, trying to keep her emotions in check but she can’t. Everyone is asking all these questions and she doesn’t have any answers. They want to know about sex with Jon…again…she’s not ready to talk about that. She’s trying to control her emotions, she keeps getting flashes of Jon’s as well and she feels like she can’t breathe and…and…calm…she’s calming down…feels less panicky, breathing coming back to normal.

“Guess I can do that too,” Jon says quietly.

“Thanks,” she whispers into his chest.

Jon kisses her and a happy, floaty feeling gently washes over him. “That is perfect,” he whispers, pulling back from her. Just as he says that he hears Donna on the other side of the door yelling and turns the handle to walk back in.

“Clara! Just stop!” Donna shouts, “You all think this is funny, like it’s some kind of game. What if it’s dangerous for them? We know nothing about what’s happening. Maybe it’s not even this Twin Flame thing. Did you ever stop to think that? No, you didn’t. You’re all so caught up in the romanticism or the science of it, no one here is thinking about what this actually means for them. What if there’s no way to control it? What if they never have a private thought again? Can you imagine what that would be like? No, you’re all too concerned with what the sex is like!” she yells at them.

Donna has worked herself into a proper fit now. Jon can tell it’s only a moment before the tears start. He needs to take her out of this room, away from all these people, calm her down and try talking to her. He needs her to be supportive of this because it’s happened already, all they can do is move forward to try and work it out. He turns to tell Rose but she’s already released his hand and she leans into him kissing him lightly.

“Go, help her calm down. I’ll be right here when you’re done,” she whispers.

“Thank you,” he says, kissing her again. He grabs Donna’s hand and pulls her from the flat.

“Where are you taking me? Let me go you big dumbo! I can walk just fine on my own,” Donna hollers at him as they get into the lift.

“We need to talk Donna, just you and me. We’re going to the shop, we are going to sit and have a rational conversation about all that’s happening. I know you’re worried and freaking out and I’m not implying that anything you said up there was wrong, but we need to talk,” Jon says adamantly, placing her in the passenger seat of his car.

“Okay, okay! No need to get all shovey, all you had to do was ask and I’d have come with you,” she says in a pissy voice.

With Jon taking Donna off to talk that leaves Rose on her own to deal with their lovely and well meaning group of friends. Brilliant, she thinks sarcastically as she looks at the group all looking at her. “I understand this is new and very exciting for you all and I’m sure you have 1000’s of questions to ask. I will answer any questions,” she sees each of them get more excited than she’s comfortable with and she sighs, “that I deem appropriate,” Rose says, watching the excitement ebb slightly from her friends, “We’ll handle this the same way we handled talking about mine and Jon’s relationship.”

“So, Round Robin then?” Amy chirps.

“Yes,” she replies.

Rose is nervous, Amy can tell. She’s fidgeting with the hem of Jon’s shirt with one hand, playing with her earring with the other, bouncing back and forth on her toes and very noticeably not making eye contact with anyone. She feels bad now. They have all put Rose and Jon on the spot and she thinks it must be hard enough trying to understand and adjust to what’s happening without all of their friends clamoring for information and begging to treat them as guinea pigs.

“Everyone grab a spot on the sofa, Rose you take the hot seat,” Clara says trying to contain her excitement. She can’t help it, this is all so romantic. Not just the Twin Flame stuff, though she thinks that’s pretty wicked, but the whole story of Jon and Rose. Two broken people who thought they’d never be happy, resigned to a sad and lonely existence for the rest of their days and then BOOM! Love! It’s fucking fantastic! It’s so fantastic she’s cussing and she does not cuss. Well she’s only cussing in her head though, so she doesn’t think it counts.

Rose watches as each person sits on the couch. “Jack you first, then Rory, then Amy, then Clara, then Matt,” she states quietly. She hopes Jon’s conversation with Donna goes quickly. It’s only been 10 minutes the he’s been gone and she already feels awful. Rose sits up and waits for the first of what she’s sure will be many questions.

“Rose, you feeling ok?” Jack asks.

“No,” she simply responds, “Rory you’re up.”

“Hey, no, that wasn’t my question,” Jack pouts.

“It was a question. You asked and I answered, next please,” she states with no humor and she thinks she may be sick all over the floor. This is somewhat distressing. It hadn’t come on so quickly before. Well, that's not true either, she thinks. It did set in this quickly, just not this severely this quickly.

“Rose, are you feeling sick again, like when Jon went to London?” Rory asks with worry in is tone.

“Yep, next question,” she responds.

“No Rose wait,” Rory says.

“Look, I said one question each per round yeah? So next question please,” she says annoyed.

“It’s fine, I don’t care that used up my question Rose, but you’re looking very poorly. I want to check your vitals okay?” Rory asks her softly. He doesn't want to upset her any further but he needs to check on her. Her color is not good, she's breathing heavy and he's genuinely worried for his friend. Also, Rory does not want to have to deal with Jon if something happens to Rose.

Rose wants to go in the loo and sick up her toenails but she assents to his request. Rory grabs his med-bag from by the front door, heads back into where Rose is seated and starts taking his equipment out.

“Is this…I know it’s not my turn but is this typical if he leaves?” Matt inquires. She sees he has a pen and paper out; he’s taking notes. That’s probably good she thinks.

Jon arrives at the shop with a silent and moody Donna in tow; he unlocks the doors letting them in. He needs to find a way to make this a fast, informative and calming conversation. He’s already starting to feel sick from being away from Rose and if he is, she is as well. He heads behind the counter and makes two cups of hot chocolate while Donna sits at the bar in front of him. He hands her one of the cups and takes his seat next to her.

“Okay let’s address what happened back in the flat Donna,” he says quietly.

“This is not a game Jon. This could be very serious and you all are acting like you’ve just won the prize from a cereal box,” she tries for firm but it comes out as whiny.

“I wish I had information to give you, but I can’t even answer these questions for Rose. Do you really think she’s not worried about this? Of course we’re worried, we have nothing but some story that Amy came up with. You know me better than almost anyone Donna,” Jon says to her. She does not miss the fact that he just said almost when 3 days ago she was the one who knew him best. “I am concerned and so is Rose, but it’s also exciting, new, different and…well special yeah? I mean do you know any other people who can do this because I don’t,” he says softly.

“What is this?! That’s what I want to know. I don’t even properly understand what’s happening between the two of you and every person in the flat is asking about sex and talking without talking! Jon what the hell is happening?!” she demands, smacking her hand on the counter.

“Right…okay from the beginning then,” he says. Jon explains to her about everything. When he first saw Rose 3 years ago there was an electrical sensation, It was mild but there and every time he saw her after that it became increasingly stronger. He tells her about the day they spent when Jon had decided to wrestle control of his life back. He tells her of the overwhelming knowledge that this with Rose is right. This is supposed to happen and nothing anyone says will ever make him or Rose believe differently.

Jon tries to explain in as little detail as possible what making love to Rose is like. What those sensations are like, because he has no frame of reference for her. How he cannot stop thinking of holding her, touching her, kissing her…her…just her…always. Jon tells her that he’s never been so happy; never felt such peace as he does when Rose just holds his hand. He tries to explain the way they fit so perfectly, physically, emotionally, even the broken parts of them…fit.

“I’ve been on every anxiety and depression medication that exists Donna. None of it has ever worked for me. But Rose…all she has to do is hold my hand or she places her hand on my shoulder and it’s…I don’t know Donna, it’s just…everything…she is everything. I wish I had a better way to explain it, for Rose and you and me as well, but I don’t. What I have is just me and you know me so well. You have to know that I’ll not quit looking for the answers and as I get them I will provide them to you. But for now I need you to trust me, because whatever is happening is frightening. I am going to need your help. This isn’t just about freaky new powers Donna. I have a girlfriend…a proper one who lives with me, sleeps in my bed and who I am going to marry and have babies and pets with. This is about more than fairy stories; this is my life and her life. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I’ve not had a relationship in 15 years. Even then they weren’t relationships more just…relations,” he says grinning at her, "Are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah I guess,” Donna says, I’m just worried Jon. We know literally nothing about what’s happening.”

“I know…which is why we agreed to let Rory do some tests. We have to start somewhere, even if it’s not the Twin Flames theory; it’s something to go on. It’s a beginning,” he says reassuringly.

“I know you can’t give me answers you don’t have. I’ll try and remain open minded and calm while we work all this out. I promise,” she says softly, but he can see how upset she is by this.

“Lovely, if we’re done here we need to go now. Rose has just passed out,” he says, handing her the keys and heading for the door quickly. Jon rushes out the door, falls to his knees and starts sicking up all over the walkway. Donna’s already in the driver’s seat when he finishes. He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, checks to make sure the shop door is locked and gets in the car. “Home…now…quick as you can,” he says through ragged breaths. His phone starts ringing and he answers it on the second ring. “On my way Amy,” he says into the phone, “I know she’s passed out, I’m on my bloody way,” he snaps into the phone and disconnects.

“How’d you know that then?” she asks him. He doesn’t answer just taps the side of his head with his finger. Right...that’ll take some getting used to, she thinks. The rest of the ride is done in silence as Jon’s entire focus is on not blacking out. They finally reach the flat and to Jon it seems like the drive took forever. He’s out of the car before it’s even fully stopped and rushing into the building, leaving Donna behind.

Rory starts checking Rose’s vitals and she doesn’t look well. “Rose, I need you to talk to me and tell me what it is you’re feeling, more descriptive than sick okay?” Rory tells her.

“I…it feels like something’s on my chest and I can’t get enough air,” she says through labored breaths. She’s closed her eyes, trying to fight back the nausea and the pounding headache. “I feel like I’m gonna be sick and my head…hurts. Um…dizzy too and feels like my heart is racing too fast,” he notices her words are starting to slur, “Tired Rory,” she whispers out just before they see her head fall to her chest and her body go limp in the chair.

“Someone call Jon; tell him to get home now!” Jack yells, running to check on Rose, “Rory what the hell just happened to her. It didn’t set in this fast before,” he worriedly rushes out.

“Before? This has happened to her before when Jon’s left?” Matt asks very interested in this new bit of information.

“It happens every time they separate, but it’s not been this severe or fast before,” Jack replies tersely.

Amy is pretty sure she knows what’s happened but she’ll need to talk with Jon or Rose to confirm. Since Rose is passed out and Jon just yelled at her and hung up on her, she doesn’t think that’s going to happen in the next few minutes. But Matt’s looking at Rose like a new lab monkey he gets to experiment on and she doesn’t want to bring it up in front of him. Also, it’s a rather private issue, sensitive topic. Especially for these two she thinks. Just as Amy is about to pull Rory away to explain what she thinks is happening she hears the beep of the alarm and the door opening.

Through the front doors, into the lift, down the hall, through the front door of the flat, down the hall, finally he can see her; Jon falls right Rose’s feet and passes out. Donna rushes in behind him shutting the door. When she makes her way to the living room she sees Rose slumped in the chair and Jon passed out on the floor. She takes a look at her watch, 11:30 pm.

“Right then, Jack, Matt and Rory you 3 carry these two into Jon’s bed and lay them down. Amy and Clara, please help me clean up this mess. Jon will not be pleased if he wakes in the morning to all this crap,” she states sharply to the girls.

Once Jon and Rose have been situated and the mess cleaned up, everyone sits back down in the living room. “I’m going home for the night. It’s late and there is a lot of,” Donna’s trying to remain calm but this is just too much, “Shit! A lot of fucking shit ya know?” her voice is rising again and she’s trying she really is but seeing Jon like that, it just upset her all over again.

“I’m…I need to go home and get some sleep. I’ll be by in the morning. I’ll have to find someone to take over for Jon at the University, at least until we get a handle on this getting sick issue. Jack, you’ll need to make arrangements at the shop to fill Rose’s spot. Rory and Matt, you two do you’re research thing and try and figure out what’s causing this. Amy and Clara…well you…you are support staff. Anything anyone needs to get whatever needs to be done, that’s you two. Got it?” Donna snaps.

They can all see how upset she is. Rory thought about telling her he doesn’t do research, at least not the kind she’s thinking, but that can wait until never he thinks. She’s worried, stressed about Jon and until this is resolved that’s not going to stop. Amy wants to tell her that she knows more about this that all of them combined, except for Matt maybe. Normally she’s not scared of anyone and that includes a raging Donna, but as she takes in her friend’s appearance she can see Donna’s only raging so she doesn’t break down in front of them, she says nothing. Clara, Jack and Matt all remain silent and Donna nods to them all and heads out. “You will call me if anything changes for the worse,” they all hear her say just before the front door slams shut.

“Everyone should head home for the night. It’s late and tomorrows going to be busy for all of us,” Jack says exhausted.

“Yeah, do you want Rory and I to crash here tonight in the office, you know med-bag and almost Doctor?” Amy asks him.

“Yeah, that’s, thanks Amy,” he replies.

Clara and Matt say goodnight and head out as Amy, Rory and Jack head to bed.


	19. Chapter 19

“6 days Rory. It’s been 6 days and neither has woken up,” he hears in a whispered tone as sleep starts to fade. Jon’s not quite awake enough to open his eyes or try to speak but he can hear murmurs around him.

“Not an issue any longer Babe,” Rory says grinning.

“Huh? What?” Amy says back.

“mmmmup,” she hears mumbled from the bed.

Amy turns to the bed; Jon’s trying to roll onto his side to check on Rose. Sweet, Amy thinks…that his first thought is Rose. Rory walks over to Jon, starts taking out the IV lines so he can move easier and asks, “How are you feeling Jon?”

“Like I’ve been on a weekend bender. How long were we asleep?” he asks taking in the medical equipment in the room, rising from the bed.

“You’ve been out for 6 days, as you can see Rose is still asleep,” Rory replies flatly.

“What do you mean 6 days? We’ve been sleeping for 6 days? That cannot be good Rory. Is Rose okay? Has she woken at all? Did you try waking her? What’s happening?” Jon says, becoming increasingly agitated with each question that passes his lips.

A loud, incredibly annoying beeping sound starts as Jon is rushing questions out. Rory heads over to a machine on Rose’s side of the bed. “Jon, I know you have questions but I really need you to calm down,” Rory tells him curtly.

“Calm down? Calm Down? You’ve just told me my girlfriend hasn’t so much as moved in 6 bloody days and you want me to calm down?!” Jon shouts, watching Amy press buttons, rip off papers and hand them to Rory.

“Yes Jon. I need you to calm down, or more to the point, Rose needs you to calm down. Your anxiety levels are affecting hers and,” Rory hands some scans and printouts to Jon, “as you can see here,” he points to a spot on one of the images, “each time your anxiety spikes the emotion center in Rose’s brain lights up like it’s Guy Fawkes Day. So yes, please calm down,” Rory says in a very authoritative tone.

It sets Jon back just a bit…that tone. He’s not used to Rory sounding like that…especially with him. Jon eyes Rory critically for a moment then says, “So… proper Doctor now eh? Passed all your exams?” He slides back into the bed next to Rose folding himself around her. Jon needs her to wake up rightfuckingnow! The panic is starting to set in and he's not sure how to temper that so it doesn't hurt or affect her.

“Yep, finished the last of the testing yesterday,” Rory says, trying to hide the huge grin he has.

“Congratulations Rory. I’m happy for you, proud of you. That’s…really that’s very…I’m…I’m sorry Rory but is Rose okay? I know I should be offering high fives or whatever but…is she okay?” Jon asks, the sheer terror evident in his voice.

“As far as we can tell the two of you were just sleeping. Your brain activity, the both of yours, has been high, really, extremely high. If I said it was off the charts that would not be an exaggeration actually,” Rory says as he starts to pull more papers out to show Jon.

“Not now Rory, coffee though…I could go for some coffee please,” Jon almost whines, “and the loo…need the loo right now.

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll go and grab some coffee and snacks for Jon since he’s up,” says Amy quietly. She’s just about to reach for the door when she feels Rory tugging on her arm.

“Amy My Love, do you have any idea how brilliant you are? You figured out this entire thing, are still figuring it all out,” he says, leaning in to kiss her. “Once Rose wakes up and we have a handle on the newest developments with her and Jon, once everything calms back down. I want us to go on holiday okay? Just us, anywhere you want to go My Love,” he says quietly into her ear while holding her.

“To celebrate passing your exams and being a proper doctor?” she asks, just as quietly and she can feel Rory shaking his head no in response.

“There’s some stuff we need to discuss, just us. We haven’t had a holiday in a long while with me being in school and we have the time now. What do you think?” he asks.

“Yes, sounds lovely. Now I need to go get coffee for Jon,” she says, laying a kiss on his cheek.

Rory hears the shower kick on. Figures he’d want a shower too if he’d been out of it for 6 days and had a catheter…Oh shit! And he runs into the en suite. “Too late Dr. Rory,” he hears over the rush of water.

“Sorry Jon. Did you uh…do you want me to remove it now?” he asks embarrassed that he forgot to do it as soon as Jon woke up.

“Nope, as I said too late Dr. Rory,” he watches as Jon drops the tubing over the top of the stall and it lands on the floor.

“Right then, I’ll just,” he stops and looks in his pockets for gloves, slides a pair on and grabs the tubing, “be getting rid of this. When you’re done Jon I’d like to run some diagnostics on you if you don’t mind,” he says.

“I’d mind less if you weren’t asking while I’m in the shower covered in my own urine Dr. Rory,” Jon replies sarcastically.

“Err…yeah…I’ll just throw this away then,” Rory says.

Okay, priorities Jon thinks to himself as he’s washing.

Rose – She is priority one.

Why is Rose sleeping still?

Why were they sleeping for so long?

Can this be controlled? If so…how is it controlled?

Is this safe?

He thinks it is. He doesn’t really feel worried about it, can’t really place why he’s not worried he just isn’t.

Jon’s stomach growls, coffee and food…maybe he should move those to the top right after Rose?

He turns off the shower, dries off, wraps a towel around his hips then heads into the room for clean clothes. Rose is still sleeping, making faint whimpering noises almost as if she having a nightmare. Rory and Amy are not in the room; it’s just Rose and him. Jon throws his towel into the hamper and crawls into the bed beside her.

He hadn’t noticed earlier but she’s wearing a hospital gown. Jon pulls it up just enough to see her hip…and no knickers. Instantly he is furious that someone stripped her, a tidal wave of possessiveness crashes through him once more. He grabs Rose, folding himself around her as much as all the machines, tubes and wires will allow and pulls the cover over them. The machines are beeping again and he knows why, he is trying to calm the flashes of anger and possessiveness flooding his system but it’s not really working and Amy runs into the room.

“What’s happened? Why’s the machine freaking out?” Amy asks, racing to check on Rose. She reaches for Rose’s arm but hears Jon growling at her and raises her head to see him. His eyes are completely black, his mouth twisted into a snarl and he is hovered over Rose’s prone form. Amy takes a step back from the bed and really looks at him. He’s actually rather scary like that. “Right then…Jon, I need to check the machine. I won’t touch Rose okay,” she says trying to maintain a smile.

“Who undressed her?” Jon growls viciously.

“Oh. Oh no Jon, that was me. I changed her so we could…uh…well we had to put in a catheter for you both ya know…medical stuff. But it was me…just me that changed her,” Amy stammers out, “This is…this growling and snarling thing…is this new or uh…has this happened before?”

She sees Jon trying to calm his breathing and process her words. She sees him lay back down next to Rose instead of hovering over her, then she sees…well…Jon and she turns her head from him quickly. “Err…Jon? You may want to uh…cover yourself,” she says going for light but coming off as embarrassed. “And just gonna put this out there. Damn but Rose is a lucky girl!” she says turning back around to find Jon covered again.

“Sorry,” he says self-consciously, “For the growling as well as the uh…well…yeah…just sorry.”

“So, the growling thing? New or is that something that has happened before?” she asks again as Rory enters the room.

“I’ve growled before and felt that possessiveness before but not as strongly as just now,” he says still slightly embarrassed that he acted like that towards Amy. She’s not a threat to Rose and he knows that, so what’s up with his behavior?

“I’ve brought you in coffee and some toast,” she says.

“Thanks Amy and uh…sorry again,” he says, sitting up and reaching for coffee.

“No, don’t be. We need all the information we can get if we’re going to figure out how to control or use properly whatever is going on with you and Rose. So whatever happens don’t uh…don’t try to hide your behavior okay. I know you’re used to doing that but we really need to know everything Jon. So we can help okay?” she asks worriedly. He can tell there’s more she wants to say, but he’s not really in the mood just this moment.

“I think I know why Rose isn’t awake yet,” she tries for light when she says it. If she’s right about this then Rose still being asleep isn’t all that big of a deal.

“Are you going to share with the class Amy or is this a secret?” Jon asks, also trying for light but coming off as annoyed.

“No, nope, not a secret. I just, after you snarled at me like Wolverine, I just wanted to make sure you’re feeling up for chatting ya know? It’s nothing bad I don’t think,” she says.

“Amy, I am truly sorry I did that…the Wolverine thing as you put it. I just…well…when I saw she was…someone had…anyway I didn’t mean to and I’m sorry. I know that you are not a threat to Rose and I am very grateful…unbelievably, immeasurably thankful and appreciative of the efforts you have put into helping us. I do realize that without you none of us, including me and I’m a genius, we wouldn’t have even a thought as where to begin, so thank you Amy,” he says softly.

Rory glances up at Amy, she stands taller, straighter and the smile on her face is huge and beaming. She’s practically radiating joy at Jon’s recognition. He’s happy to see that. She really has done the majority of the work on this and she’s gotten a lot of flack the last few days from Matt, Donna and Jack…in that order. Rory thinks it’s a beautiful thing to see her regaining her confidence. He had stood behind her and defended her to their friends…but well…he’s her boyfriend so his opinion is biased…apparently, because that’s what she keeps saying to him.

“If you’re done being all growly at me I can explain why I think you’re awake but Rose isn’t? If you’d like I mean,” she says timidly.

Jon’s not sure what to make of that…her behavior. Amy’s not shy or timid or meek or any of the things she’s been exhibiting since he woke up. Something clearly happened while he was asleep. She said Rose wasn’t in any danger; it wasn’t bad that she was still asleep. Jon decides to wait for those answers for a bit as much as that grates him. He needs to find out what’s happened in the last 6 days that would have Amy behaving in this manner.

“Rory, could you grab me my housecoat and pull a few chairs over by the window please,” he asks. “Thanks,” Jon says, slipping into his housecoat.

He reaches out grabbing Amy’s hand and immediately feels wrong…very bad…wrong…and drops her hand. That’s new he thinks. He reaches out and grabs her hand again and the same sensation rolls over him. He pushes it aside…time for all that later. Amy now…weird shit later, after she’s better.

“Amy, Rory…let’s have a chat,” Jon says, “Something obviously has happened in the last 6 days and I’d like it if you could fill me in,” he puts his hand up to stop Amy, “I know you want to talk about Rose and we will, but this first. So what’s wrong Amy?”

Amy slumps into one of the chairs and Rory takes the one beside her, Jon sits in the one facing them. She lets out a huge sigh. She doesn’t want to say what’s bothering her. It’s childish, petty and she knows that. Jon has so much to deal with already and this stuff is just ridiculous, she thinks.

“Amy, what’s up? Something is clearly not okay,” Jon says.

She releases another huge sigh and says, “It’s really not important Jon. You have other things you need to be concerned about.”

“Amy just tell me what’s going on please,” Jon says looking over at Rory in askance.

“Amy My Love, just tell him. Maybe he’ll knock some sense into them. I mean after what happened in the prison I’m pretty sure he’s capable,” Rory snickers.

“Jack told you all then? What happened…what I …did?” Jon asks quietly.

“No, he told us what you had to do. To protect Rose and neither of us will disagree with your actions so ditch the broody shit and fix Amy,” Rory says with just a little heat.

Right…not about me Jon thinks. “Amy?” he asks again.

“They’re being…” she stops.

“They who? And being what?” Jon prompts her.

“Mean, they are being mean to me. Matt, Donna and Jack. I Know it sounds childish but they are,” she says with a huff.

“Mean Amy? They are being mean to you? The Amazonian Ginger, the woman who can make even Donna Noble run scared and shut her incessant gob? Why haven’t you just, you know, gone all…you on them?” he asks.

“Well, I tried but it didn’t work,” she pouts.

“How about you tell me how they are being mean and what they are being mean about,” Jon asks gently. Bloody hell, it’s like he is the headmaster of a primary school he thinks to himself.

“I’ve been working on trying to help you and Rose and they won’t listen. They just reject my ideas out of hand. Well, Donna and Jack do at any rate. Matt just, I guess because it’s his field of study, he just…well he won’t even let me talk anymore just cuts me off and goes about doing his own thing,” she rushes out still pouting.

“Rory, you just let them run rough shod all over Amy while I was sleeping?” Jon says with a bit of heat and accusation behind the words.

“No way, I had her back the whole time. It’s not like I could force them to do shit our way though is it? I mean, I maintained control over the medical stuff with you and Rose, because well, I’m a medical doctor aren’t I? Amy though, I guess because Matt's in Uni studying this stuff Donna and Jack would rather listen to him,” Rory says back at him snappishly.

“This issue is easily rectified now that I’m awake Amy,” he says trying to placate her.

“What? How?” she asks.

“Well…my flat, my girlfriend, my…err…issue? What are we calling this thing anyways? Phenomenon? Whatever, doesn’t matter,” he waves the thought off, “Again, my flat, my girlfriend, my…err…our mental…thingamajig. So that means my rules and whoever doesn’t want to play by my rules can leave my fucking sandbox,” he tells them both firmly. “I meant what I said earlier Amy. We wouldn’t have any information to go on if it hadn’t been for you. I also meant what I said prior to our nap. Rose and I do not know Matt. I get that Clara likes him and he may be a great guy, but we don’t know that do we? So as I said, Rory is in charge of all medical testing and what not, anything medical goes through him, because we trust him. The same will go for you on the theoretical end of things. Rose and I both trust you Amy, so if Matt wants to be part of discovering…whatever it is we are discovering then he will report to you, same as he has to report to Rory for any medical stuff. As for Jack and Donna…well they will fall in line with whatever Rose and I want. I’m sorry they were…mean…to you Amy, but you’re a big girl. So untwist your knickers and get back to being the very strong, capable woman I know you to be. Figure out how the hell to wake up my girlfriend...please...because I’m really trying to not worry. I don’t want to stress her out but it’s…uh…well it’s becoming difficult to stay calm with her still sleeping. Okay?” he says pleadingly.

Jon hopes his words will snap Amy out of this funk that she's in. He doesn't have time for this shit and it's taking all of his cognitive ability to try and remain calm like Rory asked him to. Rose’s still sleeping and he's starting to lose his handle on his sanity. He needs Amy to snap out of her shit and fix this rightfuckingnow!

“Right, you’re absolutely right. I don’t need to let them bully me just cause Matt’s in school,” she says standing up and pacing the room, “So I have a theory about why Rose is still asleep and you’re not.”

“I just woke up 20 minutes ago and you already think you know why she’s still asleep?” Jon asks hopefully.

“Yep, I came up with it 2 days ago but they all shut me down when I brought it up. They are all convinced it’s a medical issue, but I don’t think it is,” Amy says determinedly.

Rory is so glad Jon was able to get Amy back up and going. He hated seeing her like that, had never seen her so down on herself before. He really wanted to punch Matt a lot over the last few days. He’s relieved that Jon woke up, another day of them ganging up on Amy and he likely would have punched him, repeatedly.

“Okay then, what’s your hypothesis Amy?” Jon asks, relieved that she seems like her again.

“I think, well you’re a genius yeah, 167 IQ and all that? Your brain processes information a lot faster than an average person right? I mean you can like work on multiple formulas and equations and stuff. That’s what physicists do right? Really complex maths?” she says rushing through the words.

“Yeeessss,” he answers, trying to determine where her thinking is going.

“Rose isn’t though is she? A genius I mean. I’m not saying she’s stupid or anything, but she’s not got the same brain you do,” Amy says tentatively.

He’s figured it out…where this is going. It’s really quite astute actually. She’s excited though and he decides to let her finish. Apparently their lovely, well meaning friends have been quite rude to her and Jon figures she needs a win, so he doesn’t tell her he worked it out, instead he says, “Which means what Amy. Most of the world doesn’t have my brain.”

“No, but don’t you see Jon. You process information at a much faster rate than Rose. What if, well what if all this Twin Flame stuff is changing your brain or maybe not changing necessarily, more like adding to it,” she says, trying to curb her excitement.

Jon watches as Amy tries to moderate her excitement and that just pisses him off more. Amy has a right to be excited about this, she’s the one who figured it out and the fact that their friends treated her poorly…he is not amused or pleased. Jon does see, he does understand and he really wants to say so, but she really needs this.

He looks over at Rory while Amy’s pacing the room. Rory smiles at him and silently whispers, “Thank you.” He knows Jon has it put together, probably had it within the first few sentences. He also knows he loves Jon just a little more because he’s giving this to Amy. Jon smiles back and nods his head at Rory acknowledging his thanks.

“See if we can figure out the amount of new information your brain processed then we…well, you could do the maths to figure out how long it’ll take Rose to wake up yeah?” Amy asks him.

“And do you have a plan for gauging how much new information I’ve had to process?” Jon asks her. He knows she doesn’t, but she’s so darn cute when she’s excited like this and he feels bad their friends treated her so poorly.

“No, that’s not my area, sorry,” she says a little more her.

“Brilliant Amy. My Amazonian Ginger,” he says tightly hugging her. He feels wrong…bad and pulls away from Amy. “They can all bugger off alright. I believe you’re right about why Rose is still sleeping. I know she’s not distressed physically and I’m sure I’d know if something…else was wrong. Is everyone here?” he asks.

“Yeah, they’re all in the living room. Amy and I made camp in here so we could keep an eye on yours and Rose’s vitals,” Rory tells him.

“Great, Lovely…Molto Bene! I’m really hungry, need to eat something but I don’t…I don’t want to leave the room until...well just not right now. Would someone mind grabbing me some…ooohhh…fish n’ chips? Whoever doesn’t go to get food, will you please ask everyone else to come in here? I will handle this bullying situation now and get that out of the way,” Jon says to both of them.

“I’ll go get lunch for everyone. Amy you should stay here and watch as they get told off for being knobs to you quite honestly,” Rory says with a grin as he walks over and kisses her. He whispers in her ear, “I love you Babe,” before he walks out the door.

“I’ll just go gather the troops then,” Amy smiles.

As soon as the door is closed Jon is back over on the bed next to Rose. He leans down and places his mouth next to her ear, “Rose Love, come on time to wake up,” he says softly, it garners no response. “Come on Rose, please wake up, please,” he whines in her ear and still no response. Just then he hears the bedroom door open again and Amy walks in followed by Jack, Donna, Clara and Matt.

“Oh Jon, thank God you’re finally awake. We were so worried about you,” Donna rushes out as she runs over to hug him.

“Welcome back Professor,” Jack smiles.

“Jon, are you okay? Feeling okay I mean. Do you need anything,” Clara asks sweetly.

It does not go unnoticed by Jon that Matt stays silent and if someone were to look at him…well...Jon thinks he looks like a man who is expecting an arse chewing. Which is good, when it happens he won’t be surprised then. “Yes hello all,” he says waving from the bed as he stands.

“We’ve been so worried about you and we had no idea how long you were going to be out or if it was permanent or anything. Rory said there was no medical reason you and Rose were sleeping and we just had no idea what to do. We just had to wait and hoped you woke up. Wait, why’s Rose still asleep if you’re up. Is she okay? Is it a medial issue with her?” Donna says at a ridiculously high speed and pitch.

“Rose is fine…just sleeping still. We’ll get to that in a bit though. There’s some other things that need covered first I think,” he states obviously unhappy with the conversation that’s about to take place. “There is apparently a question of who’s in charge of this, the research for whatever it is Rose and I are going through. I’m going to clear that up right now. I am in charge and Rose is in charge…or will be when she wakes up. All medical related anything is to go through Rory. Everything theoretical is to go through Amy.”

Jon can see the protest forming on Jack and Donna's faces, sees Matt go to stand up likely wanting to make a case for why he should be in charge. “Before you all start making cases for how or why it should be different, you will let me finish. If you cannot keep your opinions to yourselves long enough for that you’re welcome to leave the room while the rest of us have a civilized rational discussion.”

He waits then to see if anyone moves to leave or speak. He takes the silence and lack of motion as agreement and carries on. “I want to make this perfectly clear. What’s happening with Rose and me is between Rose and me.” He turns to Matt and says, “We are not lab rats or a case study for you dissertation. Matt you are only here because our lovely Clara has taken an interest in you. Do not confuse that for friendship or Rose and I agreeing to help you further your studies. Amy was the one who came up with a working theory. Amy is the one who’s done the research to help us. Amy is the one who came up with a hypothesis for why Rose is still asleep and Amy is the one Rose and I trust. The three of you treated her like she was an idiot while we were sleeping and that’s…well just…wrong. So as I told Amy earlier, I am awake now this behavior stops. My flat, my girlfriend, my mental…thingamajig, my rules. If you don’t like or don’t want to play by my rules get the fuck out of my sandbox!” he snaps at them all and the machine attached to Rose starts beeping again. 

“Jon you need,” Amy tries saying but Jon interrupts her.

“I know Amy. I need to calm down,” he says trying to do just that.

“Jon, err, Professor Ardis,” Matt quickly changes his phrasing at the look Jon shoots him. “I was only trying to help figure out what was happening. It was never my intention to step on Amy’s toes or to upset you. This is fascinating for me. I’ve spent years studying this legend. Certainly as a scientist you can see where my exuberance comes from,” he says, trying to keep said exuberance in check.

“I can and I don’t care. You’re first priority is to your research; as a scientist that is what I understand. However, Amy’s first priority happens to be Rose,” Jon growls at the young man in front of him, causing Matt to take 2 steps back. “I’ll not be having you try to use the girl I love as a fucking science project! You’re not concerned with Rose, only what…abilities she or I may have or how we can help you further your research. Let me make this clear, even if you choose to stay and assist Amy and Rory with this case, it’s unlikely either Rose or I would sign off on letting you use any of the information. As a fellow scientist you know that I know how to keep you from doing that. So, you will apologize to the lovely Amy and then you can make your decisions on whether you want to continue assisting her and Rory. But I’ve got to say, Rose will not be best pleased to wake up and find out how you treated Amy and if she says she wants you gone…that will happen. Just be prepared for that.”

“So you won’t let me use any of the information for my paper?” Matt whines at him.

“Honestly that’s not your biggest issue at the moment mate. If Rose was to wake up and sees how much you’ve upset Amy, she’d toss your arse out and not give a shit about your paper. If I were you I’d worry about making those reparations before that happens. If you want to stay that is. If not, well…I’d still make amends. After all you’re dating Clara and its going to suck as her boyfriend if all her friends hate you,” Jon says coolly.

“Basically either way I need to apologize to Amy is what you’re saying?” Matt says, his tone condescending.

“No, what I’m saying is I could give a shit if you stay or go. Amy doesn’t need your apology, that’s just the proper thing to do when you’ve been a prat. What I’m saying is that you should try to make this up to Amy because she is one of Clara’s best mates and can be…well,” he looks to Amy who has a huge smile on her face, “uh…not very nice,” he squeaks out, prepared to duck and cover in case Amy turns…not very nice at his comments.

Rory comes back in the door with lunch for Jon. “Foods in the kitchen,” he says to everyone when they look up. He makes his way to Jon and Amy, hands them their food, then sits in his chair and starts into his own lunch as everyone meanders to the kitchen to get theirs. “Amy looks pleased. Matt must have been told off then?” he asks, shoveling chips into his mouth.

“Amy? Was that good enough for you or do you want me to be a little…more…well…mean to the poor boy?” Jon asks.

“Nope, I’m happy with what happened,” she says smiling.

“Great, issue one resolved, moving on then,” Jon says running his hands down his face, “Amy, where I do believe your hypothesis has merit, it’s quite clever actually. My issues with it are this: In order to see how much information I have had to assimilate over the last 6 days we would need to get a brain scan and compare it to an older one. That will take hours; hours that I cannot spend away from Rose. I have no idea if she’d get sick again if I left or how bad it would be now and Rory would have to come with me for the scan. Another issue is I’m not really sure there is a way to tell how much information I’ve assimilated. Not to say there isn’t…just that I don’t know and again that’s going to take time we don’t have to figure out. However, I do believe that your idea was brilliant and as soon as Rose wakes up we should definitely get those scans,” he says looking up at Amy. He doesn’t want to hurt her feelings especially because he really does think it was an inspired idea, but he also needs her to focus on coming up with other more timely brilliant ideas.

“Okay, so are we just going to let her sleep until she wakes on her own?” Amy asks.

“Yes, that is exactly what we’re going to do,” Jon states firmly trying to mask the fear and worry, “We have no real idea of what’s happening and so we have no idea what damage may be caused by waking her prematurely. If you’re processing theory is correct, and I’m inclined to think it is then she will wake up when her brain is ready to wake up. Rory will continue to monitor her medically and we will continue working to find out all we can about what’s happening in the mean time. Okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I, uh…I may have another idea though. Something that would be much faster than brain scans Jon,” she says quietly to him.

“What? Why didn’t you mention that one first Amy?” Jon asks. He’s not upset with her but if she had a quicker route to answers he wishes she’s have lead with that.

“No one wanted to listen to me did they? Just kept shooting down any ideas I offered and I did mention this to them but they just said it was silly stuff and brushed me off,” she pouts.

Jon looks over at Rory and he is shoveling food into his face at a ridiculous pace. “Rory, you’re going to get ill if you keep eating like that. Why are you so hungry?” Jon asks amused.

“We haven’t eaten since you two passed out have we? Not real food anyways. I mean I snagged snacks from the kitchen, but that's it. First we were worried about getting you and Rose situated and monitored, then they were treating Amy like crap and we just didn’t leave the room at all. So first opportunity for real food in 6 days,” he says shoving bits of fish in his mouth, not even bothering to close it.

“Sorry, truly I’m very sorry that you both have gotten dragged into this. I know that you have lives of your own and this…it has to be tearing you away from that, so I’m sorry and very thankful to have such good friends,” Jon tells them, “Now Amy, what is this other idea you have?”

“Rose said that she could feel your emotions right and you can feel hers? Amy asks.

“All accurate as far as I know,” he says.

He sees her hesitate before she says, “So I was thinking what if you tried communicating with her that way?”

“You’re going to need to be more specific. What exactly do you want me to try?” Jon asks impatiently.

Amy looks apprehensive to respond. Jon doesn’t want that. He needs her to feel like she can be open and talk or ask anything because right now she’s the most informative piece of data he has. “Whatever it is Amy just say it. I don’t care if it’s embarrassing or mean or even irrelevant at this point,” Jon tells her, harsher than he’d wanted to.

“Go on My Love, ask him. It was a great idea when you brought it to me and I’m sure Jon will see it that way as well,” Rory says trying to encourage her to talk. He’s bloody furious that their friends did that to her, made her think she was stupid and useless. She was the one who figured out what the hell it was to begin with.

Amy stands up tall and clears her throat, “Jon, I know you said we weren’t allowed to ask about this anymore after the other night and I do understand that it’s private between you and Rose, but…Ineedtoaskyousomequestionsaboutsex,” she rushes out.

“Sex with Rose, specifically,” Rory adds.

“Yes, I gathered that Rory, it’s not as If I’ve been shagging anyone else is it?” Jon says brusquely.

“You said be specific,” Rory mumbles around a mouthful of chips. A moment later everyone else comes back into the room.

“I will answer whatever you need to ask Amy,” Jon groans.

“Should I leave?” asks Matt.

“That decision is up to Amy,” Jon states firmly, clearly still unhappy with his behavior.

Matt turns to Amy waiting for her response. “No, you can stay. You know a lot about this and as Jon said my first priority is Rose and Jon. You likely have information that will be helpful but no more being a huge douche bag filled with an over inflated ego,” she snaps at him.

“Check, no douchebaggery. I will do my best to keep that in mind,” Matt says awkwardly.

“Then you can stay and take notes,” Amy says with a little heat in her voice.

Jon looks to Amy, waiting for her to begin. “Right, so Rose had said each time you were intimate that weird stuff happened. Is that…is that correct?” Amy says, trying to be clinical like Rory suggested but she's not great at clinical.

“Is that how she described it? Weird stuff?” Jon asks, hoping that’s not how Rose phrased it.

“No. She said,” Amy makes quote marks with her fingers, “I know I’ve not had a lot of experience with sex but I’m pretty sure what’s happened is not ‘normal,” Amy reassures him, “Weird was my terminology, sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound bad or anything.”

“No…no it’s…weird is appropriate I suppose…please just…continue,” he says running his hands down his face to try and stifle the embarrassment that’s building with this conversation.

“So is that correct? It’s during sex when the ‘not normal’ stuff happens most?” she asks again.

“Okay, everyone who is not Rory or Amy please leave. I understand that these…details need to be discussed, but being as Rose is not awake to say she’s okay with all of you knowing the most private details of our life, I would feel better if only the two people who need to hear it were here, thanks,” Jon says to the room. Everyone shuffles out amid only minimal complaining thankfully.

“Yes, that’s when things tend to occur most,” Jon answers as soon as the door is closed.

“During any of the times when you’ve been intimate was there a time when you saw each others histories? All of it I mean,” she asks him.

“Yes, the night I came back from the prison that happened,” he replies.

“Nothing like that happened earlier though?” she asks.

“No…well…not like that. There was…the first time we were…together, we both had the same vision of our future and each time after that the uh…electrical feeling got stronger and um…we could feel each others emotions stronger each time as well. It’s how I knew something was wrong the day she was attacked,” Jon says. He's trying so hard to treat this like any other medical condition and not be embarrassed about providing the information. He doesn’t think it’s working though. He can feel the heat spreading out from his face to his ears and neck.

“How many times have you been together?” Amy asks.

“I don’t know, it’s not as if I’ve kept a record,” he says snappishly.

“Jon, I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to talk about this and I don’t want to make you, but I think this is all connected. Well, obviously it’s all connected, but what I mean is the more you have sex the stronger the connection becomes. If you have already gotten to the point where you have shared all your memories with each other then I think you should be able to communicate with Rose even if she’s…well…like she is now,” she says softly. Amy refuses to say coma. Rose is not in a coma; she’s just taking a really long nap.

“Right…okay then, how do I do that? Communicate with her I mean?” Jon asks.

“Same as you did when she was awake I guess,” she answers.

“Jon, when you and Rose did the mind meld thing, was there something that was different that time from any other time? Other than the sharing memories stuff. Did anything happen that was physically different?” Rory questions.

“Every time was different,” Jon says, his voice muffled from behind his hands running down his face.

“Yes, but what was different that time. The last time, because that’s when things amped up between the two of you,” Rory pushes.

Jon remembers every second with Rose, of course he does. He’s a genius, has an eidetic memory, can recall any memory, every memory. A trick he has tried to not use since this thing with Rose started. He has a difficult time as it is letting her out of their bed. If he was to recall and replay their lovemaking he’d never get anything accomplished. He closes his eyes and brings up the memory of him and Rose and the last time they were together. He’s traced the memory to what was different. He remembers Rose placing her fingers to his temples and his entire body shakes with the memory; the physical sensations of that same moment. **Now, now, now, rightfuckingnow, mine, mine, mine** …He reaches for something, anything to steady his balance as his body is flooded with emotions or memories of emotions he can’t tell anymore.

Jon feels hands grab onto his arms and he’s being moved…bed that’s good...bed is good. He opens his eyes; Rose…she’s still sleeping. He shakes himself, trying and come back from the memory that seems to have locked him in. He turns on his side, turns Rose’s face towards his (Deep breath in, deep breath out), closes his eyes, and places his forehead to hers and his middle fingers to her temples. Nothing…there’s nothing. He slows his breathing so that it matches hers and tries to calm himself. If he can connect with her he doesn’t want to…well if she can sense his emotions he doesn’t want it to be frantic. Rose? Can you…hear me? He thinks? He’s not sure that’s accurate, but then again he’s not sure of how any of this works. Still nothing, no response from Rose and he sits up on the bed.

“It’s not working or I’m doing it wrong. I don’t understand this enough to know how to control it. Before…when it happened before…it just happened,” he says, the frustration evident in his voice and features.

“Try again. Only this time focus on what you feel for Rose, on showing her what you feel for her,” Amy suggests.

Jon lies down beside her again, places his forehead to hers and his fingers to her temples, closes his eyes (Deep breath in, deep breath out) and tries to focus on what he feels for her. He lies still, waiting for his respiration patterns to fall in line with hers, focuses on the sounds of their breathing and hearts beating. His breaths are coming in slower, his pulse rate slowing and it only takes a moment more for his heartbeat to synch to hers.

The electrical sensation that is always there starts increasing and he’s overcome with his emotions for her as they crash through him…no not his emotions…hers…they are her emotions…what she feels for him. Jon can feel how much she loves him, how much she wants to be with him and how scared she is. Fear and anxiety are becoming the dominant emotions he’s feeling from her. He tries to focus on how much he misses her, wants to be with her and this all encompassing love that he doesn’t understand but knows is right. He hopes she can feel that, hopes he can share that with her like she does with him. Jon thinks she can sense him here with her, the fear receding just a bit.

He opens his eyes and sees Rose still sleeping. Jon leans over and kisses her softly. Yep. she can definitely feel that. He stands from the bed and looks about the room; its...empty. Amy and Rory are no longer there and it’s getting dark. “How long was I…out?” he mumbles to himself heading for the door. Jon makes his way down the hall into the living room and spots everyone sprawled out on the couch and the floor. “Hello everyone,” he says smiling and waves when they all turn to him. Amy is up and over to him words already spilling from her before she’s even fully off the floor.

“Jon are you okay? What happened? Is Rose okay? You’ve been in there for hours. You just sorta…don’t know blacked out or were in like a trance or something. Now that I know you’re okay though it was rather cool actually,” she rushes out with a wide beaming smile.

He sees everyone else beginning to move and says, “No need, everyone can just stay where they are. I’m fine, Rose is fine…just…sleeping, but we’re fine honestly. No need for a panic.”

“Did Rose wake up?” Matt asks.

“Not so much…no,” Jon says.

“She’s alright though?” Jack asks, and Jon can hear the worry and fear in his voice.

“How do you know she’s alright of she didn’t wake up? Were you able to talk to her while she was sleeping? Did you connect telepathically?” Matt excitedly rushes out, standing from the floor, bouncing like a rabbit on crack.

“Yes Jack, she's fine, just needs to sleep,” he says, smiling at his friend reassuringly while completely ignoring Matt’s questions.

“We have stuff to go over, things that we talked about while you were doing your Spock thing in there,” Jack states.

“What things exactly were you all deciding on without us…about us?” Jon asks the room warily. He’s not pleased that they think they can just make decisions about Rose and him without their consent or at least without consulting them.

“Any clue how long Rose will be asleep?” Jack asks.

“Nope,” Jon says, “Uh…again…what decisions have been made in absentia?”

“It’s not really to do with Rose or you Jon. Well, not totally about the two of you anyways,” Clara says happily. “We know that whatever is happening with you and Rose has to be your priority, but uh…well…I don’t want to sound like a Cee…yoU…Next…Tuesday,” she says over pronouncing the beginning of each word to make her point, “but we all have lives we need to get back to as well don’t we?” she asks rather than states.

Jon’s relieved. For once the conversation isn’t revolving around Rose and him. It feels like a breather, a break in the storm and he’s thankful for it. He looks around the room to all of his friends…and Matt, they all seem…apprehensive. It’s not like he’ll tell them no, they cannot go back to their lives and have to focus on this stuff with Rose and him. That’s ridiculous; of course he would never do that.

“Okay…so why all the long worried faces then?” Jon asks the room.

“Oh Rory and I, we’re fine. We’re not part of this needing to get back to our own lives thing. He doesn’t start his new position for at least a few weeks and well, I’m just a slacker hippie with no real job or commitments other than Rory. So yea, we’re not part of this,” Amy says smiling at him. Rory kisses her cheek, then smiles and nods his agreement at Jon.

“Listen all of you, please. I am very thankful for all you’ve done the last few days to assist Rose and me with…well…everything. But as Clara said you all have your own lives. Did you think I’d be angry that you want to get back to them? It’s not as if we don’t see each other or at least speak to one another on the daily. Jack, you live here and Donna I talk with everyday…if not in the office then on the phone at least. Clara I see you in the shop at least once a day as well with Amy and Rory. I’ll not be angry or upset that you want to get back to your own lives if that’s what you’re all so worried about,” he says softly to the group. His feelings are a little hurt that they would think he'd behave in such a manner.

Donna stands up at this point and he sees her take in a deep breath and school her features. Not good, he thinks…really, very…not good and he says, “Donna, what’s up?”

“It’s more than us getting back to our lives Jon. We, well we had to make some decisions didn’t we? It’s not like we know how long all this nutty stuff is going to last with you and Rose is it? I mean for all we know, you could step out to buy a coffee and she could slip into another fucking coma,” Donna states loudly and defensively.

Jon’s familiar with this. She’s had this same behavior since they were children. She’s done something she feels guilty about and rather than saying, “I did this thing and I’m sorry but I had to do it,” she gets well…bitchy, shouty and defensive. “Right…well that still doesn’t answer what all the long worried faces are about,” Jon states flatly. Whatever decisions they’ve come to can’t be that awful he thinks. He sees Jack stand and walk over to him.

“I’m looking to fill Rose’s position at the shop. I’ll be doing interviews tomorrow and Donna’s already put in the paperwork for you to take a sabbatical from work for an undetermined amount of time,” he tells Jon in a hushed voice.

Is that all? That’s what this is all about? Work? Jon thinks it’s silly they’ve gotten themselves into such a state over this. “Alright…and this is what you’re all worried about then? Our jobs?” he looks to the room and asks.

“Yes Jon, it’s your job. I mean it’s been your life for a long time now and I just went and took it away without even asking. Of course that’s what I’m worried about you daft plonker,” Donna says, smacking the back of his head.

“Oww! OI! Would you quit fucking hitting me! Jesus Donna, can’t you make a simple statement without getting violent!?" he snaps at her, then says to everyone, “Listen, I know it’s been a hard few days…on all of us…well except Matt I suppose. As I said, I appreciate everything you all have done to help, but I’m not a moron. It’s not as if I expected you all to give up your entire lives until this…thing is settled. I’m sure Rose will understand about the shop, just as I’m sure if and when she wants to come back you will allow her to do so, correct?”

“Yeah of course. It’s just we need someone there now and she’s kinda busy,” he responds.

“Correct and Rose will not be angry about that. Donna, thank you for taking care of the paperwork. Yes I love my job…mostly…well not really at all actually. It’s a way of keeping busy for me. It’s not like I need to work is it? It’s fine really, I’m not bothered at all Donna, so just…just calm down and quit hitting me,” he says clearly irritated by the smacking. “So is that it then? Or is there something else?” he asks them all.

He sees Matt stand and raise his hand. “Matt…this is not primary school and I am not the headmaster as much as it feels like I am sometimes I’m really not. So put your hand down and just…just…act like a proper adult and say whatever you want to say already,” Jon snaps at him.

Matt glares at Jon. He’s getting tired of being talked to like that. He’s here to help just as much as the rest of them and he’s dating Clara. Sure he got a little…well okay a lot snippy with Amy, but still here’s here to help as well. “Listen mate, you need to quit speaking to me in such a disrespectful manner. I get that you have a lot going on but I came here to help just as much as the rest of these people, you could be a touch less rude,” Matt snaps back.

Bad…bad move…not a good thing to say at all Matt realizes as he takes in the expression forming on Jon’s face, worse yet the expression is getting closer because Jon is…

Jon grabs Matt by the tweed lapels of his Jacket, lifts him off the floor and shoves him against the wall. “You listen mate,” Jon snarls through grated teeth, “My girlfriend, and my empathic connection, my home, MY FUCKING RULES! You were not invited. Not by me, not by Jack and not by ROSE! Just because you’re fucking Clara does not in any way give you rights in this home…MY HOME! I have allowed you to be here because you are as I said…FUCKING Clara, whom I happen to be very fond of and because I am trying to be a nice guy even though you were a colossal prick to Amy, whom I am also rather fond of. If you’d like me to respond to you a little nicer,” Jon hisses out as he lowers Matt back to the floor, smooth’s out the front of his Jacket and takes two steps back from him, “Maybe you should think about that apology to Amy. After that maybe you should think about asking Rose and I if we even want to have you involved and then maybe you should take Clara out to a really posh dinner to try and make up for being such a twat to her friends,” Jon snaps out, heading over to sit on the couch.

“Uh, Jon, just for the record, I haven’t uh…Matt and I, we aren’t shaggin’,” Clara says quietly.

“Quite right too Clara, he’s an arse. Save that for someone deserving,” he bites out, glaring at Matt.

Everyone else in the room is absolutely silent as Jon takes in the surprised expressions of his friends around the room.

“Clara, I’m sorry if I upset you by…making a point to your new boyfriend,” he says with no emotion behind it. He’s not really sorry…well he is sorry if he upset Clara but he’s not sorry for throwing that poncy little egotistical shit against the wall. “Now Marcus, did you have an actual question when you raised your hand or just being a general prat...again,” Jon asks in a much gentler tone.

Matt wants to tell him he really dislikes being called Marcus, but he’s pretty sure Jon has figured that out, is why he used it in the first place. Matt is also sure he doesn’t want to piss off Jon again. He wants to be in on the studying part of what’s happening but more than that, he thinks Jon could and maybe even would chuck him out the window of the flat without a second thought. “I had a question, can’t remember it now though, also I uh, well I think I may have wee’d on myself,” Matt laughs and realizes no one is laughing with him. “Right well, I didn’t actually soil myself. Was just trying lighten things up a bit,” he says to the room. “Tough Room,” he mumbles sitting with Clara and from the look she has on her face he thinks she may be the one to chuck him from the window. Brilliant Matt, just brilliant.

“Jon what the hell was that?” Donna asks rushed and panicked, “You’ve never, not ever behaved like that. I didn’t, how can you even lift someone like that? He’s, well got at least a stone on you. What? When did you learn to do that?” Her voice becoming shriller the longer she speaks and it’s just at that frequency she hits that drives him barmy.

“Donna,” he says quietly with his hands covering his face, “Please stop yipping at me. When a person is…upset…they may have abnormal reactions. That was as abnormal reaction and I’m sorry if it upset you but really, it’s not like I’ve injured the boy he’s fine. So please stop with that voice that you know sets off an instant migraine,” he pleads with her.

Donna decides to let whatever that was go. Matt is kind of a twat and rather had it coming anyways. She takes a few breaths and calms down. “Yeah, sorry about that. I do try to not let my voice go there, but well whatever. Back to the point before you went all hulk smash,” she says, “You’re really not upset that we made these decisions without asking you?”

“No Donna, I’m really not. They are reasonable, rational and responsible decisions to have made, so why would I be angry? Jack has a store to run, he needs employees to do that. The University has classes that need to be taught, they need instructors to do that. Obviously Rose and I are not in a position right now to do either, so again, no I am not upset and I’m sure Rose will not be either. Listen all of you please. I’m still me. Still the same Jon I was 6 days ago. Still a genius, still a logical and rational thinking scientist. Rose is still the same Rose she was 5…err...6…however many days ago. We are the same people…just…well more than we were separately,” he says patiently.

Then he feels it…her. Jon knows she’s awake and feels…gross. Now that she’s awake though, he can feel…well...it’s like a place in his head and she’s just there. That’s new and odd…this whole thing is going to take some getting used to. He doesn’t even have terminology to describe most of what he’s feeling.

“Jon? Hey you alright you just kind of blanked out on us,” Rory asks, already reaching for his med-bag.

“Yeah fine…just…don’t know really,” he says dazed.

“You zoned out for almost 10 minutes. You sure you’re alright?” Jack asks.

“Hello,” everyone hears Rose say from the back of the room. At once they all turn to look. Jon is at her side immediately and pulling her into his arms.

“Hello Love, finally decided it was time to wake up I see,” he smiles, leaning in to kiss her, small and soft and sweet and perfect. “Christ Rose, I was so scared.”

“I’m fine really,” she says trying to reassure him. “So what did I miss while sleeping?” she asks the room. Silence…complete and utter silence from everyone. She doesn’t think it’s bad, whatever they seem hesitant about. She’s pretty sure she’d be able to sense it from Jon if it was and the only thing she feels from his is relief. She feel him there…in the back of her mind and it’s both absolutely insane and the most normal thing ever.

He smiles as her emotions flutter through him. Jon knows it should be off putting, having someone else in your head but it’s not…just feels…well new…and right…and normal. He’s pretty sure this is the most adjusted and normal he’s felt since his parents died actually.

“So…anyone want to clue me in on what’s happened in the last few days?” she says. Still silence. “Anyone at all?” she looks around the room. Clara stands up and walks over to stand in front of Rose. Can’t be anything too awful if Clara’s delivering the news she thinks to herself.

“Okay since no one else is going to say it I will. Bunch of yellow bellied cowards,” Clara says as she stares them all down.

“Yellow bellied cowards? Clara what have you been watching on telly,” Rose asks smiling.

“Matt…he uh…he likes John Wayne, thinks Stetsons are cool,” Clara says back quietly. She’d hoped to keep that a secret.

“Right well…since you are not a ‘yellow bellied coward’ how about explaining why everyone looks like a kicked puppy yeah?” Rose asks clearly amused.

“Can’t Jon just you know,” Clara asks waving her hands about between Rose and Jon, “do the uh…Spock thing?”

“Spock thing?” Rose asks looking to Jon for an answer; he smiles and taps his temple. “Oh, yeah Spock thing…Well yes I suppose he could do that if I wanted to know how he feels about whatever is going on. But I’d rather you know…talk…really talk. I’m still allowed to talk…with my friends…or have I been relegated to sub-human status and now am only to get my information through my mutant boyfriends mind powers?” she snaps out.

Matt is immediately on high alert, instantly recognizes the exact phrasing of her words and since Jon didn’t chuck him from the 4th story window earlier he’s fairly certain it’s about to happen now.

Jon glances over at Matt and glares. He’s fairly certain he’s going to throttle Matt by the end of the night.

“Rose, he didn’t mean that. He was just messing about a bit,” Clara says awkwardly, stunned that she knew about that. She was sleeping when Matt said it after all.

“Yeah, whatever…Just…Clara or anyone really just…tell me what’s upset everyone so much,” she asks quietly.

“I’m replacing your position at the shop and Donna’s put in for a sabbatical at the school for Jon. Rory’s passed his exams and is a proper doctor now and Amy is still a jobless hippie. Matt is a total wanker that was almost killed by your mutant boyfriend and Clara…well she’s still Clara,” Jack says abruptly.

“Okay…well that makes sense…replacing me at the shop. I mean I’m not thrilled with having to find another job but I understand. I’m sure Jon was okay with the sabbatical right?” she asks Jon. He simply nods his head that yes he’s in fact fine with it.

“Rory, I’m so happy for you and proud of you that you passed you exams,” she says walking over to give him a hug. She leans into his ear as she’s hugging him and whispers, “In any of those classes did they teach you how to actually remove a catheter?”

“Oh Shit!! Rose, I’m so sorry. Things became…I was going to go back and do that…but then Jon was going to kill Matt and…well I didn’t want to miss the show. I’m so sorry,” he rushes out.

“It’s okay Rory, I was just teasing,” she says as she rises and pats his shoulder before heading back to the couch and Jon. “That’s it then? Just the job thing? That’s what you’re all so worried about?” she asks as she looks around the room to each of her friends.

“Rory and I have nothing for the next few weeks so we’re still you’re beck and call bitches,” Amy says smiling.

“Lovely, now onto more important things…very…very serious and important things,” Rose states with a severe look on her face. Everyone in the room freezes and looks at her then. She waits…just a few extra seconds, lets the tension build before she says it…then smiles and says happily, “I am starving. I mean properly fucking hungry. Is there any food here?”

It takes a moment for what she said to settle on everyone in the room and then as it reaches them they all start laughing. “No…no there’s not actually but we can order take out. Whatever you’d like Rose,” Jack says.

“Mmmm…pizza, definitely pizza,” she says, wiping the drool from her mouth.

Once the pizza is delivered everyone pretty much eats in silence. Rose is rather bummed actually. She’s finally feeling mostly like a ‘normal’ human being again. It’s the first time in years really, probably since her dad died she thinks. It’s a little sad that her friends are all in such bad moods. “So uh…what’s everyone got planned for tomorrow? Wait, what day is it even?” she asks.

“Friday in about…just over an hour and it will be Friday,” Rory says.

“I’ll be interviewing at the shop for your replacement,” Jack says hesitantly.

“It’s really fine Jack. I’m fine with it. I understand you have a business to run and right now I cannot keep my commitment to that business. I’m really not bothered, it’s okay,” Rose says shrugging her shoulders.

“I’ll be at the University making arrangements for Jon’s temporary replacement. This is temporary right Jon? You’re coming back yeah? I mean you’re not just feeding me to the wolves and running away again right?” Donna asks panicking again.

“I’ll be back as soon as we figure out how to control this…thing between Rose and me Donna. Relax I’ll not be feeding you to any wolves, promise,” he says grinning. She doesn’t say anything about the fact he didn’t say he wasn’t going to run away again.

“I’ll be in classes and then at the shop for the day until close. Then Matt and I are supposed to have dinner and go ice skating,” Clara says delighted.

“That’s sweet Clara, never been myself. That’s likely for the best though. I’m not real graceful while wearing chucks. It’d not be a pretty picture on skates I imagine,” Rose says.

“Mostly I’m hoping to get Jon to the hospital and do some testing. I’d like to get a brain scan, on both of you actually. There are some other tests to that I’ve come up with to try out as well whenever you guys are ready to start that stuff,” Rory says, shoving pizza in his face.

“Uh…how…how long is the scan going to take,” Rose asks quietly. Jon feels her anxiety increase and its as if it’s flaring against the inside of his skull. He reaches over and entwines their fingers trying to calm her some. The pain was intense at first; it’s lessening now, but holy hell...he never wants to feel that again.

“It won’t take that long Love, few hours at most,” Jon tells her. The pain flares again in his skull, “Rose, please just…I won’t go alright? We’ll wait to be sure,” he says quietly, hoping to calm her down just enough that he can focus again.

“Sorry,” she says quiet and small and…scared.

“It’s okay Rose; we’ll figure it out yeah?” Jon replies softly.

“Yeah, it’s just…I don’t want to get sick again,” she whispers.

“What if we do a test run tomorrow?” Amy says bouncing up from the floor excitedly.

“What kind of test run,” Jon asks warily.

“Well,” Amy says, “being as how Rose is now in the ranks of the unemployed and even better, unemployed but with a very sexy, rich boyfriend and she has no stuff anymore and it might help her anxiety levels and it could be good to see if you only get sick if you’re away from each other in a stressful situation and…”

“Amy My Love, just get to it,” Rory laughs.

“Okay, I want to take Rose out tomorrow. You know girlie stuff. We could get our hair and nails done in the morning and then do a shopping trip and lunch in the afternoon. We can stay in the shopping district that’s close to the hospital, that way if you do get sick we’re only a few minutes away. This would also allow Rory the time he’s needs to scan Jon’s ginormaous genius brain and stuff. You know whatever doctory stuff you blokes come up with,” she says, letting loose a huge grin as she finishes.

Rose’s emotions roll over him in waves. First it’s a giddy excitement and then cold fear followed swiftly by embarrassment and extreme apprehension. “Hold that thought Amy,” Jon says. He pulls Rose with him into the kitchen. Once they reach the kitchen sink he lifts Rose, sets her on the counter and plants himself in-between her legs.

“This emotion thing…do you know you’re doing that? Can I do that…have I done that?” he asks, paling at the thought. Oh God…if he’s pushing his emotions at her the way she is him…“Rose…Oh God have I done that to you?” he asks panicked.

“Not until I…well that’s what…um…you were really mad and it woke me up. It was like uh…an ice pick went through my skull,” she says back small and scared again.

“It’s okay Rose, don’t…don’t be scared yeah? We’ll figure this out, I promise,” he says, kissing her…small and sweet and perfect. Jon rests his forehead to hers and closes his eyes (Deep breath in deep breath out). “This money thing Rose…we need to talk about that. We were going to and then things went a little crazy and we never got the chance,” he says quietly.

He’s awash with shame and doubt after he says that. He almost feels sick with it, so he leans in and kisses her longer…slower than before. Slowly the shame and doubt are replaced by love and calm. “So how about this? Tomorrow you will go and do girlie things with Amy. I will fund the entire day…for Amy as well,” he rushes out when the emotions start changing again.

“It will be my treat and you don’t have to buy anything if you don’t want okay? But the salon…hair and nails and stuff; that can be a…gift from your boyfriend yeah? Then we can meet up for lunch. Sound okay?” he asks while pressing his lips to hers.

Now that he started kissing her he’s having a hard time not kissing her. Also as long as he continues to do so those sad and painful emotions aren’t slamming into him. She’s still not comfortable with the idea of being apart from him or using his money…he can feel it.

“Rose, it’s been a very long few days for us and this is normal. It will be nice to have a normal day where you can just go be a girl doing pretty, frilly, girlie...things and I can go do normal nerdy, doctory, science stuff. Also a great way to start testing this connection between us. If you or I start to get sick we’ll only be just a few minutes away I promise,” he whispers in her ear.

Jon starts kissing her neck at that spot that he knows melts her. He pulls back from her and she smiles at him with that tongue and those eyes and he’s ready to say fuck all to his friends and haul her off back to their room.

“Do I…when I kiss you can you feel what I’m feeling?” he asks quietly. She smiles at him and he loses his breath for just a moment.

All he wants to do is take her to their room and make love to her now, now, now. He rests his forehead to hers, tries to push that to her, his need for her…rightfuckingnow! Jon tries again to push on her so she can feel how important tomorrow is for him to give her. He just wants a few hours of peace and fun for her before they start really testing Amy’s theories. He tries to push that she is more than welcome to buy or not buy whatever she’d like, but he wants to give her this because he loves her, wants her happy. There hasn’t been enough of happy since this whole thing started and all he will ever want from life is the chance to make and see her happy. Please let me do this for you Rose please, please, please and then she’s kissing him and everything stops, his mind blissfully blank of anything but love and her and never stop doing that.

Rose has no clue what his actual thoughts were, but it was clear he was trying to push something to her. Need, she thinks is the best way to describe it. There was a lot of emotions being pushed at her pretty quickly. She pulls back from the kiss and Jon makes that happy sound in his throat. She loves that sound, always wants him to be making that sound. “Okay,” she says small and quiet to him. She’s still not completely happy with the idea of spending his money, but she’ll go with Amy and do girlie things because he wants her too and it will make him happy.

“Lovely. Now let’s go tell Amy and Rory, say goodnight to all of our friends and go to bed yeah?" he says kissing her again.

Rose hops off the counter, takes his hand and heads back to the living room. “Alright Amy…girlie day for us and doctory-sciencey stuff for the boys tomorrow,” she announces to the room. Rose looks around, realizes there’s just Jack, Rory and Amy left, “Where’d everyone go?”

“Rose sweetie, you and Jon were in the kitchen talking for like an hour. They went home,” Amy says.

“What? An hour…but it was just…it only seemed like 10 minutes at the most,” she says getting worried and the pain starts flaring in Jon’s skull again.

He tightens the grip on her hand and says, “It’s alright Rose, we’ll work it out. Not tomorrow but we will okay?” the pain starts fading again.

“Yeah…I know you guys will figure it out,” she says embarrassed that she cannot gain control over her emotions.

“Anyways,” Amy says, “Rory, Jack and I were thinking it may be best if we just crashed here for the next few days, ya know Dr. Rory and Nurse Amy. Probably best if we stay close by until we get some of this stuff worked out. What do you two think?”

“That is a wonderfully brilliant and thoughtful idea. Thank you,” Jon says overly happy, “Now that’s worked out and tomorrows plans are worked out…I’m knackered. How about you all? Bedtime? Lovely,” he says, grabbing Rose’s hand and starts to their room without letting anyone respond.

“Do you think he could have been more obvious,” Jack asks laughing.

“Not unless he started shagging her on the counter in there, which I lost 5 quid on by the way,” Rory says handing the 5 quid to Jack.

Amy just laughs as Jon pulls a giggling Rose down the hall and out of view. “It’s awesome,” she says happily.

“What Love?” Rory says.

“Those two, this whole thing. I know there’s the weird scary bits too, but just look at how happy they are together. Even with all the scary bits they are still so happy to have one another, its awesome,” she says still grinning like a loon.

“Long day for Dr. Rory tomorrow, we should get to bed as well,” he says, grabbing her hand and tugging her behind him.

“Night Jack,” he hears in unison from the hall.

Jack grabs a beer from the fridge and sits at the island in the kitchen. Blissful silence he thinks as he takes a long drink from the bottle. He’s getting old; this last week has been a lot, more than he’s used to dealing with. Usually he has a few business meetings, hangs out at the shop with the girls and Rory and then clubs or home with Jon at night. Simple, easy, no muss no fuss, he misses that. It feels like it’s been forever since he was living the calm life of a permanent bachelor and his biggest decision was whether or not to take home the couple he met, the bartender he met or all 3.

At least things seem to be calming down, he thinks to himself. Jimmy’s out of the picture, the jobs issue has been sorted, the living arrangements have been sorted and Rory is planning on spending every minute up to starting his new position on this Jon-Rose connection thing. To be honest Jack thinks it’s pretty much the coolest fucking thing ever. His best friend has some sort of superhero powers. Who wouldn’t think that was cool? Hopefully his biggest issue in the coming days will be to keep Jon from killing Matt. After that last thought Jack drains his beer and heads to bed.


	20. Chapter 20

The moment the door closes behind them Jon presses himself against Rose. He pulls his chest flush to her back and wraps his arms around her waist. His mouth finds that spot on her neck just below her ear as a wave of arousal courses through him. He has no idea if it’s his or hers and he doesn’t really care. He’s pulling at her clothes, trying to get his off at the same time. He feels…rushed, like this isn’t happening fast enough and pulls back from her just slightly. A flash of fear races through him and Jon presses himself against her again and starts pulling her out of her shirt and pants, the fear replaced with love and lust and heat.

Arousal races through her as Jon kisses and moves her until she feels the bed against the back of her legs. He falls on top of her and it feels to Rose like he’s everywhere at once. His hands are all over her never still, mouth, lips, tongue and teeth and she can feel his emotions mixing with hers. She feels like she can’t keep up, can’t move or breathe.

Rose is trying to touch him, hold him, something…anything but she’s too far gone with lust and heat and electricity and Jon. “I…unghh…I…Jon,” it’s a sigh or a gasp or a plea and he can’t tell because all he knows is love and lust and heat and electricity and wet and Rose. He pulls back, his breathing irregular and he only has a moment of clarity before Rose is on him pulling him back down and kissing him. Jon tries to pull back from her again. He wants to try and figure out how to use this connection properly.

“Rose, we need to talk about this…I can’t…I’m not going to be able…”

“Just…just don’t stop yeah? Whatever this is the only way to figure it out is to just do it,” she gasps out interrupting him and reaches for him again.

He stops trying to think about what’s happening and just lets it happen. His breathing starts evening out, he doesn’t feel as lost in the emotions as he did before and he’s starting to be able to focus…a little. Jon places himself between her legs and tries to slow down. He leans down and kisses her; slow…he wants to do this slowly. It’s always frantic, rushed and he thinks if he can focus on the emotional aspect of making love to her rather than the physical he can do this slowly, properly. Jon pulls away from kissing her and rests his forehead to hers. Rose is making whimpering noises, writhing beneath him and he feels her arousal pushing on him.

“Rose I need you to calm down…just a bit,” he whispers. She whimpers again but forces her body to quit moving beneath him and stills her hands. “Breathe slowly Love, try and match your breathing to mine,” he says softly. Jon can feel her trying to calm herself, feel her respiration slowing, her pulse calming and soon their breathing and heartbeats sync. He leans in kissing her slowly, just lips to lips at first and then his tongue swiping against her bottom lip. Jon feels her tongue tangle against his and the overwhelming urge to go faster, harder, more, more, more.

He knows that’s Rose…that urgent rush he feels. She’s making it very difficult to maintain his plan when he can feel how desperately she wants him inside of her, above her, and now, now, now. He tries pushing that back to her, tries to make her feel how badly he wants her and he feels her legs wrap around his waist and her hand move to his hair. “Jon…please,” he hears. She’s not kissing him anymore just gasping, sighing and begging against his lips. He focuses on how much he loves her rather than how much he wants her and tries pushing that at Rose.

His eyes are closed and everything becomes a brilliant white when he feels her pushing emotions back at him. What she feels for him. Not the physical need for him, though it’s still there, but her need for him to love her and love for him, he loses what little control he’d managed to gather. His mouth is back on hers; his hands making their way down her body, touching her everywhere. The electricity is building slower but it’s more intense this time. It’s almost as if shocks of energy are coming from her skin to his. The white starts to fade, he feels a small measure of control coming back and he slows down. Jon moves his mouth down to her neck and tries to slowly make his way down her body. His fingers find their way to her folds and she is soaked with need. The idea that he did that…caused her to feel that forces a low groan from his throat. He starts slow again, gently running his fingers through her wetness and only barely dipping one finger inside of her. Rose starts squirming and he knows she’s trying to stay calm for him, can feel the restraint in her emotions.

Jon slides down her body, his mouth just above her clit and starts kissing her, pushing two fingers completely inside of her. Rose arches her back off the bed, fists her hands in his hair and moans softly. He moves his mouth over her clit, flicking it with the tip of his tongue while trying to focus his thoughts on the emotion and not the physical sensation of what’s happening. He slides his fingers slowly in and out over and over, pressing his tongue flat against her clit. She moans louder, white taking over the edges of his vision again. Want, need, lust, love and trust rock through him forcefully. He’s back at her mouth kissing her as he takes himself in hand, running his cock through her slickness. Jon pulls back, rests his forehead to hers (deep breath in, deep breath out). He focuses on pushing what he feels in that exact second at Rose as his cock slides into her.

In the same moment that he slides into her, Rose feels how much he loves her and bright white flares at the edges of her vision.

“I love you Rose, so much. I want to spend the rest of my life showing how much, making you happy. I will never hurt you Rose. I want to take care of you, protect you and keep you safe always. Please let me do that, please let me have that Rose,” he whispers into her ear. Her muscles clench around him with an almost painful force as he finishes whispering to her and he knows she’s crying. He can feel how far lost she is in the cloud of lust and his love and need for her and she’s frozen beneath him. He starts moving so, so, so slowly, pulling out almost until he leaves her and pushing in again. He can hear her saying something just at the edge of his hearing. She’s so quiet he can’t understand what it is and what she’s feeling…it’s so intense, he can’t push back on her like he was earlier.

It’s as if her emotions are a riptide dragging him under. Jon tries to maintain some kind of control over himself. He tries to keep going slow but, now, now, now, mine, mine, mine, more, harder, faster, now, oh my God…The emotions are rushing through him and he can’t sustain the slow speed he was going for. Jon starts thrusting harder, deeper, faster, “please fuck Rose please oh God Rose,” falling from his lips. The electricity sparks between them and she starts arching into his thrusts. She has one hand in his hair, the other raking her nails down his back and he knows he won’t last much longer. Jon tries to slow down and she fucking growls at him, pushing her entire body into his. Rose rolls them so that he is under her and starts moving again, stripping the control away from him and she she’s done with slow. No pause, no slowing down to change position as she rakes both hands down his chest and leans down over him, grinding and pushing down onto his cock.

Rose presses her forehead to his, focuses on everything she feels for him, everything he makes her feel at once and pushes all of that emotion at one time as she presses her lips to his. He can’t focus…it’s so much…too much and he can’t stop thrusting under her. He turns again needing more leverage, wants to crawl inside of her and never fucking leave. “Mine,” he yells as he pushes harder, “MINE,” he says again, thrusting deeper, “MINE,” he growls, laying back on top of her still moving, thrusting and he can’t stop. Jon thinks he’s going to lose it at any second; not even trying to hold back anymore. Rose is getting louder, her gasps becoming screams, her moans turning into his name over and over in his ear. He feels her hand sliding between them as she presses on her clit, pulling him over the edge with her. It seems like hours before his climax ends. Rose is still grinding against him, still cumming. He bends down and kisses her slowly. His mouth covering hers, his tongue gliding along hers; he’s still moving trying to drag this out as long as he fucking can because he’s not sure anything will ever be this good in his life again.

Her breathing is slowing, her screams returning to gasps and he feels the tension in her muscles start to release. Jon’s still moving inside of her, slowing his strokes and matching his breathing to hers. The brilliant white has faded and he’s no longer being assailed with all of her emotions at once. They have both started to calm, their heartbeats and respiration synching again. He’s still hard and he’s not sure if that’s a gift from this new connection or if it’s because of Rose. He thinks it’s the latter because he knows he will never get enough of being with her and this…right now…is perfect. This is how he has wanted to make love to her. Jon’s tried each time and it becomes frantic and fast and hard and now, now, now with no sense of control. When he took her hand in the shop for the first time, this is what he imagined making love to Rose Tyler would be, soft and slow and gentle and perfect. Jon lowers himself fully onto her body, buries his head in her neck and wraps his arms under her, his hands grabbing her legs just below her arse, wraps her legs back around his hips and begins placing small gentle kisses on her neck as he slowly moves in and out of her.

They have done this a handful of times now, but this is the first time where he feels coherent enough to actually focus on making love to her. This is the first time he’s not so lost that he can pay attention to the way her body moves with his, how they fit together so perfectly. There are no awkward angles or adjustments needed to make them fit…they just do. “Rose, this is…you feel so good,” he moans into her neck keeping his pace slow with steady movements.

Rose arches her neck allowing him better access to that spot and sighs, “Oh God Jon.”

He focuses on that spot on her neck, marking her again as his. Jon's thrusts become more forceful, not faster but harder and deeper. The heat from being pressed so closely to each other causing their skin to become slick with sweat and he can taste the salt on her skin with his tongue. “You’re perfect Rose, perfect for me, made for me, mine…always,” he whispers into her neck and he can feel his orgasm building. The electricity staring at the base of his spine, spreading throughout his body and he tries to push it away, wants to stay just like this, knows if he cums now it will be over and he never wants that. “You are so beautiful Rose,” he feels it then…it’s like a flutter in his head. It’s a small, almost ticklish sensation and he immediately knows it’s her. Not her emotions…Rose…it’s her, she’s his head.

Jon can feel her climax building and hears, “Jon I,” but the words become lost in gasps and moans and she’s no longer passive, no longer allowing him complete control as her body starts moving against his again. Each time he pushes in she arches up. His pelvic bone grinds against her clit, she’s babbling incoherently, all he can make out is his name over and over and love and forever and he’s still maintaining his slow and steady movements. Jon’s drawing this out as long as he can for her as well as himself because this…right now is…ecstasy. What he believes the true feeling of that would be and he tries to push that emotion onto Rose as she moves beneath him.

He’s beginning to gain better control over the sharing of their emotions. He thinks he may understand how to control it now. As soon as that thought finishes he senses Rose pushing back to him what this is for her…how it feels for her to be touched by him like this and he can’t resist the build any longer. He’s going to cum, this is going to end and he really doesn’t want that to happen but he hears her, her mouth on his neck, “I love you, always Jon. Yours always…you feel so perfect so good…oh God Jon I’m…,” her voice becoming higher and he can feel the flutter changing in his head, she’s so close now.

Rose sinks her teeth into his shoulder and he feels her nails dig into his back. He thrusts into her once more hard and deep and strong and she shatters beneath him. Her muscles clamp down on him like a vice, convulsing around his cock and he can’t hold back any longer. Jon’s entire body shudders above her, into her and she feels him pulse inside of her as he moans low and deep into her neck; his teeth bite into her flesh and she falls again when he says, “I love you Rose, so much…so perfect,” he pushes once more into her before he stills and brings his mouth back to hers. He kisses her until the aftershocks and trembling slows and finally stops and he stays…just like that.

Jon’s still inside of her and curled over her entire body. He cannot think of a time in his life when he has felt such peace and happiness and love and he starts to weep into her hair. He’s overcome with emotions he knows are hers, weeping turns to sobbing and he feels her grip on him tighten. Jon holds onto Rose at tightly as he can as she shatters beneath him again in a very different way than the previous moment.

Rose tightens her grip on Jon as much as her now weak, well-used muscles will allow. She hadn’t meant to do that…push her emotions in that moment on him. It’s what girls do right? Cry. It’s a release, a cleansing. In that instant, when he said he loved her…told her she was perfect, with everything slowed and calm she could feel it. It became a tangible thing…his emotions. His feelings for her…draping over her like a soothing balm to her broken and tattered soul. It’s as if the pieces of Jon that weren’t broken are slotting into the pieces of her that are. Rose feels whole for the first time, knows she’s moving forward… he’s moving her forward. It demolished the dam she had spent years building to protect herself. Rose couldn’t control it then, every emotion she’d locked up and hidden away came crashing down upon her and in turn upon him.

Jon feels faith, joy, happiness, contentment, kindness, compassion, love, trust, crashing through him all at once followed with an almost paralyzing shock of grief and a feeling of letting go. Tears start falling from her eyes. At first it’s small and quiet but as she continues to push what she’s feeling onto him, small quiet tears become wracking sobs. Her so small frame is shaking and heaving beneath him and he knows she’s accepting this…him…them. She’s letting go of Jimmy and her past, embracing this life, their life, their future. He feels like she has crawled inside of him, seeping into every chip, ding and broken part of him. Filling those dark hidden corners with love and light and trust and…hope. For the first time in so many years he experiences hope…and it’s…beautiful

Her sobs are quieting, her body relaxing beneath his, the intense grip of her arms and legs loosening around his lean frame. He calms as she does, tears drying, body relaxing. Jon pulls out of her and falls to her side wrapping himself around her once more as she burrows into him. Rose starts laughing then…into his chest…small bursts of euphoric joy he can feel as her breath is released against him. He starts to laugh with her and its wonderful…freeing and the kind of laughter he remembers from being a child. Back when his life was good and full and swing sets and slides and running just to run. Not to or away from anything, just running to feel free and the wind in your face. That’s what he feels right now and its perfect and its Rose and it’s him and this is his life now, their life now. As their laughter quiets Jon reaches down and pulls the covers over them, warding off the chill from the air as their bodies slick with sweat start to dry. He’s drained now, feels exhausted both emotionally and physically and pulls Rose as close to him as he can without actually being inside her again.

“That was…I don’t know…intense,” Rose whispers into his chest.

“That Love was…awesome,” he says smiling huge and happy. Sure he could have gotten sappy, could have expounded on what he felt, but…well he’s still just a guy and as intense and wonderful and moving and earth shattering and life changing as that experience was…it was Bloody Awesome!

“Is it…did you…something is different now,” she says quietly but it’s not the same kind of quiet she spoke with before.

Before today when Rose was quiet like this he knows it was because of fear and pain, he could hear it and feel it when she spoke. This is different. Now her quietness is filled with…peace…happiness…hope. “Yes, it’s different now. We’re different now, but in the best of ways Rose Tyler,” he whispers, placing a kiss on her head.

“I want to stay awake and be with you…like this. Happy and just…I don’t know…this, but I’m so sleepy now,” she says grinning; he can feel it against his skin.

She hears that happy noise released from Jon just before he smiles and says, "Yes well...I was fairly magnificent."

“Shut up,” she says trying to smack him, but her muscles are too weak, not functioning properly and it’s more of a pat than a slap.

He laughs at her inability to move, “Go to sleep Love. We have years of moments like this one waiting for us,” he whispers, eyes closing and darkness pulling him under.

“This is ridiculous,” Jack says annoyed, flopping onto his stomach and pulling his pillow over his head. He’s trying to use the pillow to block out the sounds of Jon and Rose, but it only works minimally. How is it even possible for a man who hasn’t has any sex in 14 years to go for (he looks at his watch) 4 hours…they have been at this for 4 fucking hours. Jon shouldn’t be able to last 4 minutes much less 4 hours he thinks to himself. Certainly there’s chafing or something. He thinks he may just go and beat on the damn door and tell Rose to shove a sock in her mouth so he can get some sleep. “ARGHHH Shut Up Already,” he yells into his pillow. “Yes we get it. Happy and in love and fucking like bunnies Jesus Christ! Don’t you two need sleep at all?!”

Knock, knock, knock, he hears lightly on his bedroom door. Wonders for a second if they actually heard him and are now at his door to yell at him or chastise him for being a dick, but then he hears Rose again, obviously not them. He climbs from his bed, pulls on his robe and opens the door to a grinning Amy.

“Its 5:00 a.m. Amy, so unless you’re here to take my mind off that,” he says pointing to Jon’s door, “I suggest you go back to your bed and Rory,” Jack says grumpily. She takes her hand from behind her back, presents him with coffee and an Amy smile.

“Nope, I think…I’m actually certain that Rory and I aren’t doing that anymore.”

“Doing what?” he asks.

“You or anyone else,” she laughs out.

“So, you came by my room at 5 am to tell me you’re exclusively sleeping with Rory now? Don’t you think that could have waited till actual morning?” Jack replies petulantly.

“Not why I came by. Rory and I heard you yelling,” she says giggling, “Jealous much?”

“M’not jealous,” he pouts.

“Come on Mr. Not Jealous; Rory’s made us breakfast and you have interviews starting in like 1 ½ hours,” she says turning back towards the kitchen and Jack follows her out.

When Jack enters the kitchen he sees Rory dancing, hears him cheerily humming and singing along to some song in his head. “Oh you have got to be kidding me,” he groans, oozing into one of the chairs at the center island drinking his coffee.

“Trouble sleeping Jack?” Rory asks amused.

“Trouble would have been an improvement,” he mumbles around his coffee cup, “How could you have slept through that? How can you be so…chipper? It’s disgusting,” Jack gripes.

Rory and Amy both laugh as they take in the look on his face. “We didn’t sleep either. We tried, but were woefully unsuccessful. They’ve been at this for over 4 hours now. That’s a bit, well if it was us,” Amy says waggling her finger between her and Rory, “it would be a bit fantastic, but since it wasn’t us, it’s merely amusing.”

“Right, this is hilarious. Who doesn’t want to interview 35 people in one day on no sleep after a week of constant drama and turmoil and listening to your best friend, who you happen to be in love with, shag the girl your also in love with all damn night. Yes I clearly see how this situation is amusing, how could I have missed that earlier, thank you Amy for opening my eyes to what is to be one of the most comedy inducing moments of my life,” he grumbles.

“I never said you found it amusing Jack. And this grumpy attitude of yours will not be a bother to me. I don’t care that I didn’t get to sleep. I don’t care that I have a full day of stuff to do and Rory has tests to run. I don’t care about any of that because tonight my 2 friends whom I love dearly found peace with each other. To me, that is worth a night of missed sleep and a busy day with no energy,” she exclaims happily, tapping his nose with her finger.

She’s right. Jack knows she’s right and that’s annoying too. “Yeah, OK you’re right Amy. I don’t think I ever realized how thin these walls are. I can only imagine the amount of times Jon’s had to go with no sleep because of me over the last 10 years,” he laughs softly. He sees Amy pale. Not that she’s ever had a lot of color to her but all the color drains from her features.

“Amy, what’s wrong,” Rory says rushing over to her.

“Oh God, Oh no! If…well if we can hear them now that means he…Rory, Jon heard us having sex…with Jack…a lot,” she rambles out clearly mortified.

“Yeah Love, that’s what it means,” he says laughing, making his way back to the stove to serve breakfast. Amy falls into the chair beside Jack resting her head on her arms.

“How’s your cheery, happy day looking now?” Jack asks her, trying to suppress his own mirth at her realization.

“Rory, is breakfast done? Obviously Jack needs something shoved in his mouth to shut him up,” Amy pouts.

“Oh Amy, I know of something he can shove in my mouth, but sadly you and Rory don’t do that anymore,” Jack snickers.

“What? We don’t do what anymore?” Rory asks.

“Me,” Jack responds, “Or anyone but each other apparently. At least that’s what Amy informed me of this morning.”

“Oh?” Rory replies, looking at Amy in askance. “Well, yeah suppose it’s time right? Proper doctor now and all. Not a kid anymore and this was never a lifestyle for us like it is you Jack. It was fun and all but yeah…just uh…just us now,” he says softly as he looks at Amy.

She hadn’t talked to Rory about this yet. Amy didn’t think he’d take issue with it; she just hadn’t had the opportunity to speak with him about it. Seeing the look on his face as he confirms to Jack they are past that part of their lives and Rory is hers and she is his…just his…she melts. Amy is pretty certain that look he just gave her turned her physical form into melted mush and she’s just a puddle of Amy colored goo on the floor now.

The look on Amy’s face is exhilarating; suddenly no sleep, no problem. She’s ready too; ready to be proper grown-ups with a proper life. Just him and just her and maybe a kid or two. He wants to rush out right now, get a fucking ring and put it on her now, now, now. They have been dancing around this for so many years now. Trying to play pretend, that what they had wasn’t as serious as it really is. He was ready for this years ago, but she wasn’t. She had to be ready too and he loves her enough that he would have waited another 7 years if she’d wanted him too. 7 years, 70 years, 7000 years, he’d have waited forever if she’d needed it.

“Breakfast is served,” he says quietly, leans over and kisses her, “I love you Amy,” he whispers.

Jack wants to make barfing noises, jokes about Jon and Rose’s mystic love stuff being contagious and he almost does. Almost, because as he looks over and starts to make the joke, he sees the look Rory has on his face while looking at Amy. It’s the same look he saw on Jon the other day when he looked at Rose. It really is beautiful Jack thinks. He decides to stay quiet, shovels food in his mouth to keep from oohing and awing like…well Clara.

He’s happy for them, glad they have finally reached the same place in their lives. Jack’s known for a long time how Rory felt and what kind of life he wanted with Amy. It’s the only reason he stopped sleeping with them. Amy thinks it was Rory’s decision to stop, but it wasn’t. He had seen a look on Rory’s face one night when Jack was kissing Amy. That was last night they were all together, actually they weren’t even together that night. Jack made some excuse about bad dinner and went home because that look crushed him. He knew then Rory was only doing this for her. Rory never wanted any of that; he just wanted her. Amy came with her own set of issues and monogamy was one of them. Once he knew that though, he couldn’t be with them like that anymore. He didn’t want to be the thing that kept Rory from getting what he wanted most out of life.

“Thanks for breakfast kids. I need to hop in the shower and head to the shop. I’m sure I’ll see you guys later,” Jack says.

“I need to head back to our flat and grab some clothes. Do you need anything while I’m there?” Amy asks.

“Do you want me to go Amy? You could stay, go back to sleep for a bit if you’d like,” Rory says as he cleans up.

“Nah, I’ll go. I need to get some clothes for Rose too,” she replies cheerily.

“All her stuffs in the storage downstairs Love,” Rory replies.

“Yeah, she hasn’t seemed to keen on the idea of going down there and she’s been living in Jon’s t-shirts and pants for days now. I am not taking her out in a Hulk T-shirt and boxer briefs,” Amy laughs, “Besides, you should stay in case they need hydration or something,” she giggles, leaning in to kiss him.

“Okay, please grab me a few changes of clothing as well and you know stuff from the loo and whatnot,” he asks as she flits away.

“Sure thing Tiger,” she says, heading out the front door.

Knock, knock, KNOCK. “Come on sleepy slackers, time to get up. Rose we have hair and nails in one hour and Jon, Rory has the brain scan machine scheduled in an hour for you as well. Coffees in the kitchen,” Amy hollers through the door. She waits to hear sounds of them stirring and hears nothing. Knock, knock, KNOCK.

“Up…Amy…I’m…we’re up,” Jon hollers.

“Mmmmphh…times’ it?” Rose mumbles into his chest.

Jon reaches for his phone on the bedside table, “8:52 a.m.,” he says quietly, actively searching for a sense of her emotional state this morning but all he gets is…well…it feels like white noise from a broken telly actually.

“Coffee,” she mumbles, “need coffee, need shower,” she says rolling off the bed and stumbling to the loo.

He lies in bed watching her stumble across the room. Beautiful he thinks and...well...it's pretty adorable as well; her complete and utter inability to function when she wakes. Jon climbs out of bed, throws on his dressing gown, slides into his slipper, walks to his dresser, grabs out his clothes for the day and heads to the loo in the hall. He thinks briefly of joining Rose but decides against it. They’d never leave either the loo or the bedroom if he did that. He takes his shower and heads to the kitchen. He hadn’t really expected to see Rose there before him; she has become enamored with his shower.

“Amy if you expect to make your appointments on time, you may need to drag Rose from the shower. I think she loses track of time in there. Also, if you’re headed back there you may want to take her coffee,” he says, handing her the cup he just prepared.

“Yep, I grabbed her some clothes from our flat too, can’t have her running about Cardiff in a t-shirt and knickers can I?” Amy says, heading towards their room, “Rose I’m coming in,” she hollers from behind the barely open bedroom door, “I come bearing gifts though, so no chucking anything at me okay?”

“Amy I have no clothes. I mean of course I have clothes but they are all in storage and I have nothing I can wear and I don’t…I don’t want to go down to the storage and see all my stuff is broken and I…” Rose stutters out quickly.

“It’s handled, relax Rose. Jeez I’m not sure you even need coffee after that,” Amy says pulling the bag of clothing from the floor and handing it to her.

“Coffee, coffee, coffee,” Rose says making grasping motions with her hand at Amy.

“Afuckingdorable,” Amy says, “You’re so cute and…well nonfunctional when you wake up.”

“Mmmhmm…need coffee to function,” Rose says sipping from the cup, “Uh…Amy, these aren’t mine,” she says pulling a slinky dress with a much too high slit in the side out of the bag.

“No, they’re mine. Didn’t figure you’d want to go down to storage and I didn’t want to go messing about in your stuff. I also could not allow you to leave the flat in Jon's knickers and a t-shirt again. So this was my solution. Find something that mostly fits and let’s go before we’re late yeah?” Amy says to her rushing through the door, “I’ll meet you in the living room.”

Rose grabs a pair of jeans and T-shirts from the bag and quickly dresses. She hates feeling rushed in the mornings. She needs at least an hour and 3 cups of coffee for her brain to even think of working properly. As Rose enters the living room she hears Jon giving Amy the run down for the day.

“We’ll be at the hospital first for a few hours at least. After that we’re going to head to the University. I have some papers to sign for the sabbatical and we’ll be in the lab there as well. If Rose starts feeling sick or she needs or wants anything…anything at all Amy, just give either Rory or I a call and I’ll head right over. Oh, and Rory said to be sure to take his travel med-bag with you just in case,” he says just as Rose makes the corner. As soon as he sees her he heads in her direction.

He’s anxious; she can feel it washing over her. She’s concerned too about being apart. The last time it was only a few minutes before she started feeling sick and then she was unconscious for over 6 days.

He smiles when he reaches her and entwines their fingers. “It’ll be okay Rose, I promise,” he says as he leans down to kiss her. “It different now, since last night yeah? Better, can’t you feel it?” he asks.

“Yeah, yeah I can. We’ll be fine,” she smiles, trying to make herself believe that.

Jon reaches into the pocket of the Jacket and hands her a card. “I had the bank send it a few days ago. You don’t have to use it,” he says when he feels her uneasiness. “However, it is there if you choose to. This is something we really need to discuss when we get back alright? Now, Rory and I are going to drop you ladies off at the salon and head to the hospital. We should get going if you don’t want to be late,” he says, dragging her from the flat with Amy and Rory following. He knows he never gave Rose a chance to respond to anything he said, but she’s only going to argue with him and he has neither the inclination nor the time to do so.

Rose and Amy enter the salon and are immediately taken back to start with hair. Rose has never been to a salon…at least not one like this. “Amy is this where you always come to get hair and nails done?” she asks in a hushed voice.

“Yep. They do a great job here. I’ve been coming in for, oh maybe 5 years or so. Ever since Rory started making decent money,” she laughs.

“Right…money. I have to find a new job,” Rose sighs.

“Why?” Amy asks.

“Why what? Why do I need a job? Isn’t that a bit obvious Amy? One needs money to live and unless I’m going to be standing on a corner with a sign, I’ll need a job to have money,” Rose states plainly.

“Well, I guess but you’re with Jon now. So again why do you need a job?” Amy asks honestly not understanding.

Rose is instantly irritated. “Amy look, I know that’s how it is with you and Rory but you have been together for 7 years. Jon and I have been together 7 days. It’s not the same thing,” she says snappishly. It’s not right that just because she and Jon are dating he should have to pay her way. Rose has never been like that, she’s always taken care of herself financially.

“Rose, do you mind if I ask some stuff about you and Jon?” Amy inquires.

“Depends on the stuff in question,” she responds.

“Do you love him?” she asks.

“Yes…” Rose replies in short order.

“Are you planning on staying with him?” Amy queries, already knowing the answer.

“Again yes…is this going somewhere Amy?” Rose says trying not to be shitty.

“Yes, just slowly as I don’t want to piss you off. Do you plan on living with him? Marrying him? You know sharing a life with him?” Amy says, getting irritated as well. This whole money issue is stupid. Jon has it…Rose doesn’t…so what!? No one fucking cares!

“Yes…again to all of those, but Amy,” Rose tries saying.

“No,” Amy says adamantly, “Just let me finish first and then you can argue while they do our nails.”

“Fine, but I’ll not be happy about it,” Rose says.

“So just listen to what I have to say before you argue with me yeah?” Amy asks her. “I know you have been on your own for a long time. I know you have taken care of yourself. I know you didn’t grow up with money and are therefore uncomfortable with the idea of spending money; Jon’s money to be specific. But before you start hissing and spitting at me like a wet kitten, just listen. Jon is a very wealthy man Rose. That is just a fact of the man you will now be spending your life with. Jon does not care about money and whether that’s just part of who he is or if it’s because he grew up with it, doesn’t matter. You have an opportunity here that you wouldn’t otherwise have. I know you think I’m talking about spa trips and new clothes but I’m not. You can now do anything you want to do with your life. If you want to go to school you can. If you wanted…I don’t know, to travel or whatever, you could do that. Also, we are going shopping today. There’s to be no argument about that. Your stuff from that flat is trash and I cannot see you in Jon’s pants and t-shirt for one more damn day,” Amy finishes.

Rose heard everything she said but still…it’s not something she’s really comfortable with she thinks as she fingers the card in her pocket. Amy’s not wrong about this and Rose knows that. It doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable but she does know. Jon wants to work this issue out as well. His money’s not going away and she knows she needs to get a handle her issues. It’s only been a week though, one week. She’s not sure even with how they feel about each other if she’s comfortable allowing him to do that for her. (Deep breath in, Deep breath out) Okay…hair and nails and shopping today. If that doesn’t totally gut her self-esteem, then she’ll talk with Jon about how they can deal with this...together…as a couple.

“Alright Amy, you win. I’ll do a proper girl’s day out with you today…shopping and all. If it…bothers me too much I can always return the stuff yeah?” she says hesitantly.

“Absolutely,” Amy says, secretly texting Jon a thumbs up, “So we’ll finish here, meet the boys for lunch and then…hardcore shopping because you need everything!” Amy exclaims and Rose tries her best to smile back.

She’s decided to do this so she may as well try and have fun. Rose stands and looks at herself in the mirror. She’s only just now realized that she never told the stylist nor did the stylist ask her what she wanted. As she looks at her reflection she thinks it’s…different…not bad…just different. Her hair has been cut at least 4 inches and it has an actual style to it. It’s also been dyed instead of bleached. It’s…nice…she thinks. She may even look like a proper adult in some new clothes. Rose is 27…but she feels as though she still looks 17 most of the time. She still has all the same clothes and until today her hair had stayed the same. They’ve done her makeup differently as well. It’s softer, not nearly as much around her eyes and lighter colors…again not bad…just different. Rose turns when she hears Amy coming to the front from the hall.

“Just put it on my account, please and thanks Veronica; lovely job as always. Have a great day,” Amy says, pulling Rose from the salon. “Rory and Jon need about an hour to finish scanning his overly large brain. Are you feeling ill or anything yet?” Amy asks.

“No…I’m fine,” she says surprised, “Is Jon alright? Did you talk to him?” she asks.

“I spoke with Rory. Jon’s stuck in a tube getting scanned so was unavailable to chat, but Rory said he’s had no issues either. That’s a good sign. It means the rejoining is moving along. I don’t care for the term rejoining though. We should come up with something else,” Amy says, threading her fingers through Rose’s, dragging her into the first shop.

As the saleswomen eye her and Amy critically she’s reminded of that scene in Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts and the really mean shop girls. She doesn’t think she could handle that right now. Rose is having a hard enough time just spending the money. If they treat her like she shouldn’t be doing it or doesn’t belong she’ll just be embarrassed and flee and …cry…alone.

Amy sees the look on her face as soon as they enter the shop. She doesn’t need to a have a wacky connection to Rose to know what’s going on right now in her head. She knew this was going to be an issue and had planned ahead on how to handle it. She reaches into the pocket of the leather Jacket and pulls out the card Jon had given Rose.

She looks it over and says, “Awe Rose, he got it in your name. That’s so sweet,” she coos.

“What? He what?” Rose questions.

“The card Rose, it’s in your name see,” Amy shows her the card, “I mean, I’m sure it’s attached to his account but it’s not his card, it’s yours,” she says smiling.

“Right…I’ll process that later. Let’s just…get this over with okay,” she says, trying to be okay with all this.

Amy has already had enough of that shit from Rose…that stops now. She walks over to the center of the shop, turns and winks at Rose, then hollers, “Alright ladies, this here is an unlimited card. My friend over there, she needs everything. So get busy bringing things out and dressing her up. You all get 1 hour of her time before we’re out of here and onto the next shop, so the faster you find things she likes the more money you will make…chop, chop. We don’t have all day!” Amy says to the staff.

One staff member snatches the card from Amy and another marches Rose to a dressing room while 3 more start sizing her up and bringing in clothes for approval and fitting. Amy can tell that Rose is trying to not have fun…and failing. Rose is laughing at some of the more ludicrous options, smiling with joy and delight as she takes in her appearance at others. After an hour Amy chimes the bell on the counter. “Times up people, what have we accomplished?” she asks the shop girls as Rose makes her way to the counter.

Amy is fairly impressed at the amount of clothing Rose decides to buy in the first store. She had anticipated a bigger fight on this, but she’ll not complain because Rose looks fabulous. Her hairs done properly, not that awful bleach yellow color she’d been sporting since Amy met her. It’s now more honey colored…looks more natural and her makeup…much better. It was beginning to seem like Rose was just stuck at 17. Amy thinks she’s beautiful but at a certain point you have to start dressing and looking age appropriate; otherwise you end up 65 years old with pink hair, miniskirts and your boobs hanging out the bottom of a tube top while wobbling on six inch stilettos. Amy does not want that for her friend and physically shakes herself to wipe away the image of Rose dressed like that.

She takes in her friends’ outfit…huge, huge improvement from Jon’s underpants and nerdy t-shirts. Nice dark wash jeans-skinny fit, cute peasant blouse, white with little pink flowers…new chucks- also pink but actual chucks…she looks nice. Amy thinks she looks like a proper young woman now rather than a homeless street youth. She also didn’t realize how tiny Rose actually is. With all the baggy sweaters and too large jeans she wears her small frame is hidden completely. To Amy it looks like her friend just lost 2 stone. She pulls out her phone, snaps an image of Rose as she walks to the counter and sends it to Rory. The girls ring her up, swipe the card and Amy hands them a business card with Jon’s address on it.

“Please have the bags delivered here, we have a lot more to do today and we can’t carry all of it,” she says, waving and smiling while pulling Rose along. “How are you feeling Rose? Sick or anything?” Amy asks.

“A bit yeah, but not like…I think I’m just hungry and tired…need more caffeine, I didn’t sleep much. It’s not sick like I was before,” she says quietly, trying to fight the flush to her skin from remembering why she’s so tired.

“Oh we all know you didn’t get any sleep last night Rose. If it makes you feel any better Rory, Jack and I didn’t sleep either,” Amy says amused.

Rose looks at the smile on Amy’s face. It’s that wicked one she has and Rose understands that means the reason they didn’t sleep was her and Jon. Oh GOD! They… “You…all of you? You…the three of you heard us?” Rose says mortified at the realization.

Amy continues grinning, “Come on, we’re meeting the boys for fish n chips and then more shopping,” she says dragging her into the restaurant. “Wonder if they boys have made it yet?” Amy says trying to spot them.

“Yes, they’re here already,” Rose says quietly and a little flushed. She assumes from his reaction Jon had already spotted her and was not displeased with what he saw.

Amy takes in Rose’s quiet response and her flushed features, “Riiiight, well let’s go find them and get lunch then,” Amy says as she wanders off to find the boys.

Rose doesn’t need to wander. She knows exactly where they are in the packed building. That Jon spot in her head is like a homing beacon, she turns and heads directly to their table. Halfway through the crowd she sees Jon. He’s already up and headed in her direction, huge smile on his face. Her smile grows wider the closer he gets to her. She can’t help it, it’s like an autonomic function now. When he smiles she smiles and the bigger his smile gets the bigger hers gets…it just is.

He reaches for her hand entwining their fingers, pulls her into him, folds himself around her burying his head in her neck and says, “You look lovely Rose. Did you have a good time?” He wants to tell her he missed her, wants to kiss her, hold her and just go back to the flat because she looks…she was beautiful before all this but…now.

“Feeling better about it now. I was a bit worried when they cut off my hair but…you don’t seem to have taken issue with it,” she says smiling into his chest and he feels her breathing him in.

Jon doesn’t know why that affects him like it does, “Right, we should get to the table or go home. I’m partial to the going home idea,” he says quietly into her ear.

“Yes me too, but I have lots more shopping to do apparently. You have tests that need to be run still and Rory and Amy are waiting on us so they can eat,” Rose says into his chest, neither having made any effort to move.

Jon pulls back from her, tugs her through the crowd to their table where Rory and now Amy are waiting for them. “I ordered fish n’ chips n’ tea for everyone,” Rory states, “No issues feeling sick or anything today Rose?”

“Not like before, but I’m feeling a little sick now. I think I just need to eat something. We’ll see if that helps it then go over this again okay?” she says.

“Yep, perfect. Jon didn’t have any issues today either. What do you think that means?” Rory asks them.

“Can we…I don’t,” Rose stutters out.

Anxiety and fear washes over him and he holds her hand a little tighter. “Rory, how about we save that stuff for when we’re not in a public place,” Jon states looking over to Rose and smiling. The emotion ebbing away and he’s feeling rather chuffed with himself.

“You think you’re so impressive,” Rose leans in and whispers to him, and a shock of lust runs through him.

“Well yeah actually…I do a bit. It’s good to finally start understanding how this works,” he says happily.

Lunch is served and the conversation falls to the plans for the rest of the day, more shopping for Amy and Rose. She knows he’s pleased she agreed to do this. Whenever she or Amy mentions shopping or things they want to look at or buy a happy sensation surrounds her. More testing for Jon and Rory and he knows she worried, the fear and anxiety is almost stifling.

Jon thinks this whole thing is…well…pretty cool really. He wants to learn how to control it of course, but they spent hours apart this morning and neither got ill so they must be doing better he thinks. He missed her though…a lot. A lot more than rational people would deem appropriate for the short amount of time they were apart. Then again, new relationship…new Jon…new Rose…so who other than them is to say what’s normal he tries telling himself.

As soon as they step out of the restaurant Jon pulls Rose into the alley at the side of the building so they are hidden from view…well…okay…mostly hidden from view. He immediately kisses her, hands in her hair, backing her into the wall. “I’ve missed you today and you look beautiful Rose. I mean, you always look beautiful but this is…I don’t know more…this is more you now I think. This look fits you…better. That sounded wrong…I’m not trying to imply that...”

“It’s okay Jon,” she says interrupting him and giggling, “I understand what you mean and I agree. It’s nice to feel…I don’t know…better,” she shrugs at a loss how to define it for him, “and I missed you too…a lot,” she says kissing him again.

“So more shopping then?” he asks pulling back because he has to. If he hadn’t things would have just kept progressing…against the wall…in public and he sees Rose’s shocked smile…yep she caught that…bugger.

Rose looks up, smiles at him lightly then sighs, “Yep, more shopping.”

“So we’ll be at the University for the rest of the day. Rory and I have enough stuff to keep us busy for several days, so no need to hurry on our account. Go shop, have fun and Rose…I’m really…thank you for letting me do this for you today. I know you’re not pleased about it and we will talk about it tonight at home…but really thank you for doing this,” he says leaning down to kiss her again…slow and sweet and perfect and she just melts against him.

“Okay you two, enough of that. Besides the sooner we get the shopping done the sooner you can take her home Jon,” Amy hollers grinning.

“Yep…okay,” he chirps, tugging Rose from the ally and handing her over to Amy.

“Have fun ladies,” Rory says, kissing Amy’s cheek.

Rose quit keeping count of the shops Amy took her to at 7. They went to several more after and everything is to be delivered to the flat. She now has an entirely new Amy approved wardrobe. This includes casual and evening dresses, casual outfits, business outfits, no less than 25 pairs of assorted footwear, which Amy has assured her she will need. All new under things, and wasn’t that just the best fucking time ever. That had to have been the worst part of this whole experience…shopping for underclothes with Amy.

She was throwing bras and knickers and lingerie over the top of the stall and then wanted to see her in it. Rose at first refused to buy lingerie; she’d never even owned any before. Amy was insistent however and after forcing Rose to try several things on picked her favorites. Rose was fine with that, she’s not even sure she’ll ever use any of it.

As they make their way to the University to meet up with the boys Amy says, “So that should be enough to get you started.”

“Started?” Rose says amused, “Amy, if you took everything I’ve ever owned through the whole of my life it wouldn’t amount to what we bought today. God, I spent so much money today,” she almost whispers.


	21. Chapter 21

“No! No! No! We covered this shit earlier. You do not get to start that again and I’ll not be allowing you to return anything we purchased,” Amy says adamantly while stomping her foot, “You look so good in all of it. Also you’ll be needing nice things now. Jon’s a tenured professor at a prestigious University. As his wife you’ll have to go to all the same boring kinds of things Rory makes me go to. You can’t do that in 20-year-old jeans and jacked up trainers Rose. I know I act immature a lot of the time, but I’m a proper adult when I have to be for Rory and you are going to have to do that for Jon as well. It’s all part of being in a relationship, so you need to get over this issue with spending Jon’s money. He’s to be your husband and what’s his is yours and vice versa that’s how it works, so just…get over it!” Amy shouts at her.

“Amy, I don’t think that’s really fair and you don’t get to speak to me that way,” Rose says hotly.

“You know what? Yes, yes I do. I love you and I love Jon and do you honestly think you’re the only one freaked out by what’s happening? Do you think you’re the only one who’s had their world flipped upside down and inside out this last week? Jon is scared shitless. He’s never been in love before and his first experience with it is this wacky Twin Flame Vulcan mind meld thing. You don’t think that’s freaking him out? How about the fact that Rory just finished his exams and now he’s been given a medical case that no one has ever seen before and just to top that off…it’s his friends…his family Rose! You and Jon are relying on him to help you figure this out! You don’t think that’s scary for him? Jack, Donna, Clara and me…this affects every one of us, so quit being so…so…selfish and single minded. This isn’t just about you. Jon wanted to do something nice for you, because he loves you and you have nothing. That jerk in your flat destroyed everything you owned Rose! I will not stand here and let you’re stubborn and self-pitying shit hurt Jon do you hear me? You said you wanted to be with him, said you wanted to stay with him forever, well this is part of that so you better learn real fast how to fucking deal with it!” Amy yells, turning away to the University doors.

Jon and Rory start making their way to the front of the building. They’re almost to the front doors when it happens. It’s as if an ice pick has been shoved through his ear into the center of his brain. The onslaught of her emotions almost drops him to the floor but Rory catches his arm and holds him up.

“Jon? Hey man, what just happened there?” Rory asks, “You okay?”

“Yeah, okay now, but Rose is…not happy,” he says hastening his approach outside. He knows she’s out there and she is not pleased about something. Just then they see Amy walking through the front doors and she is pissed off.

“Amy? What’s wrong? What’s happened? Where’s Rose?” Jon rushes out.

Amy walks over to Rory, grabs his hand, looks at Jon and blows out a deep breath, “Everything…A lot…Outside,” she says clipped and snarky, turning into Rory so he can hold her.

She didn’t mean to yell at Rose like that but this whole money thing is stupid. It’s not worth spending time being upset over at least not when they have real issues to manage. Jon’s money is not going away. Not unless Rose donates it all to charity and she doesn’t see Jon going along with that. So Rose needs to put on her big girl knickers they purchased today and get the fuck over herself; bigger fish to fry, larger issues on the horizon blah…blah…blah and all that jazz.

Rose is at first angry, Amy has no right to yell at her like that. Then, as she listens to what Amy is saying she feels like crap. This whole thing has taken its toll on everyone and she is only thinking of herself. Rory had to study and pass his exams while trying to help her and Jon. Amy has been incredibly helpful. She’s the only one who would have even thought about the Twin Flames thing and she’s even coming up with ideas how to control it or at the very least understand it. Donna, Jack, Clara…even Matt to a lesser extent have all provided time and support and she’s what…throwing a temper tantrum about shopping? Amy’s right about the fact that she had nothing. She didn’t even have extra clothes. Well…she probably did have clothes still, but she was too much of a coward to even go and look at the remains of her belongings from the flat. Rose turns to head into the building, she needs to apologize to Amy and she needs to get a grip on herself. Just as she turns to head in she sees Jon quickly making his way out the doors. She rushes to him tears already starting to fall by the time he wraps his arms around her.

“What’s happened Rose? You two were fine earlier,” he asks as she falls into him.

She’s not sobbing, not even crying hard, but still she’s crying and he doesn’t want that ever. She doesn’t want to tell him why Amy is upset with her. Rose understands being upset over money is stupid…she does know that, but well knowing something doesn’t necessarily change anything does it? Embarrassment and worry weave around him.

Jon holds her just a touch tighter and whispers in her ear, “Rose Love, whatever’s happened you can tell me okay? You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

Stupid, Stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN! Now she has to explain to Jon and it’s going to be a conversation about his money and he’s going to get upset as well because it’s not like he can just decide to be poor tomorrow and shouldn’t it be harder for him to accept her being poor than it is for her to accept him being rich and now he’s just…oh…oh shit!

“Jon I’m…oh I’m so sorry I didn’t…I…that was an accident I didn’t mean to do that,” she rushes out as she tries desperately to regain control of her wayward emotions.

He has both hands against the sides of his head and his eyes are closed tightly as he takes in ragged breaths. The more she calms herself the easier his breathing becomes. Jon removes his hands from the side of his head and tries to smile at her. He knows it’s weak...the smile. Jon says, “It’s okay Rose, we’ll figure this out. Just…what’s happened to upset you both so much?”

She’s explaining to Jon what happened when Rory and Amy leave the building and start walking towards them. Jon feels her anxiety ratchet up and grabs her hand trying to calm her.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I’m sorry Amy. I didn’t mean to upset you and I really do appreciate everything you and Rory have done,” Rose rushes out as they walk up.

“It’s fine Rose. Let’s just go. It’s getting late and we can discuss everything back at Jon’s flat,” she says curtly, walking to the car.

Once everyone gets back into the flat Jon directs them to the living room. “Right…who wants to go first? We have test stuff to cover and whatever is happening here,” Jon says waggling his finger between Rose and Amy, “to deal with. Where would you like to start?”

Amy stands, squares off her shoulders and says, “I’m sorry I yelled Rose. I shouldn’t have done that, but don’t you see what you’re doing? You have been given a gift. I’m not talking about all the mind melding shit either. Jon doesn’t care that you have no money, he doesn’t care about your past or where you’re from or anything but you…this you…the person you are right now. Do you have any idea how long Rory has had to wait for me to get my head out of my own arse? 7 years he’s been waiting for me…7 years! You were handed the love of your life in seconds…seconds Rose! You have no idea how rare and special that is and what do you do? You try and run, you make excuses for why you can’t or shouldn’t have this, you focus on petty things that don’t matter in any way! Well guess what? It’s too late. There is nothing you two can do now. You can’t sabotage this Rose…no matter how hard you try. Do you know why? Because he loves you and because you love him and it’s too fucking late now! So all I want is for you to just accept that and quit trying to…I don’t know…break it or run from it or deny it or whatever the hell else your messed up thinking is doing…just stop! Honestly the sooner you accept all of this the sooner you’ll be able to control whatever is happening,” Amy says harshly.

As Amy rants Rose focuses on shutting herself down. She hasn’t had to do this since Jimmy, but she’s worried that she’ll hurt Jon with her emotions again if she doesn’t. She’s listening to Amy and moderating her breathing, clearing her mind, trying to focus on nothing. Her breathing is steady, calm and her pulse has slowed down to a normal level. She’s trying to keep her eyes open and continues listening to Amy.

Once Amy finishes Rose stands up (Deep breath in, deep breath out) and says, “Amy you’re right. I’m focusing on the wrong things and I’m sorry. I’ve not had money like this before. This whole thing is new and scary and I know it’s scary for all of us not just me. I can’t promise to not think or feel like this again but I promise I will try to be more accepting of everything and I will try to remember that we are all being affected by this situation. I was being selfish and single minded and focused on the wrong things. I’ll do my best to adjust my behavior accordingly. I hope that we can put this behind us and move forward because I do know how much Rory and you have helped and I know we still need your help. If that’s all I think I’d like to go lay down,” she says monotone. Her voice is devoid of any emotion the entire time. Rose looks about the room, no one has said anything so she heads for Jon’s room.

As Amy rants and raves at Rose, Jon tries to keep up with the flood of emotions he feels coming from his girlfriend. The feelings changing rapidly until everything just stops. It’s quite jarring actually, to have silence in his head again. He looks over to Rose, sees her monitoring her breathing and checking her pulse rate on her wrist covertly. She’s paying attention to Amy but seems so far away at the same time. He doesn’t understand what’s happening. Why can’t feel her in his head anymore. He’s starting to panic. Is it broken? The link or…or whatever it is or…was it’s just gone now. Everything in his head is quiet and…well…back to normal. No emotions swirling about…no electrical sensation crawling over his skin. Rose doesn’t seem aware of his distress either, so broken for both of them? Jon’s lost the narrative of the conversation, too focused on why it’s all of the sudden just stopped. The next thing he knows Rose is walking away and Amy and Rory look…shocked. Something happened and he missed it. He can’t ask right now because he needs to ask Rose if it’s gone for her too and he’s up and chasing her down the hall and into their room.

“What was that?” Amy asks, looking at Rory completely gobsmacked, “She was like a robot or something…pod person…invasion of the body snatchers…maybe she was drugged or something? I can believe almost anything after this last week,” Amy sighs out.

“I think Rose knows how to control her emotions better than we thought. She seemed composed, not angry or upset. Maybe she understood what you were saying and is trying to do what you asked?” Rory responds skeptically.

Amy gives him a look that shows she clearly thinks he’s wrong. Not just wrong but really wrong. “I love you Tiger,” she says, “But sometimes you are so daft it’s comical. That was Rose’s voice and it was coming from Rose’s mouth, but that was not Rose. Did you not see her eyes? She was completely vacant. It was like she was on autopilot or something and don’t you find it odd that Jon said nothing that whole time? With all of this emotion sharing happening between them he didn’t react at all,” she says deep in thought.

Jon takes in the appearance of his girlfriend. He cannot feel anything from her but he can still read her. Sad, ashamed, scared, anxious, angry, worried and completely lost he thinks as he walks over and takes the chair next to her. He doesn’t touch her (as much as he wants to), doesn’t say anything (as much as he wants to) and just waits for her. He waits for at least 5 minutes in complete silence. She doesn’t look at him, says nothing the entire time and he’s a wreck internally. He thinks the link is either gone completely (he’s unsure how he feels about that) or Rose has somehow found a way to shut it off (he’s not sure how he feels about that either).

“Rose,” he says tentatively, “What’s happened? I can’t…you’re not there anymore. That spot in my head…it’s…I can’t feel you.”

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I know. You’re not in my head either, it’s just quiet,” she says.

“Did you…is that something you did? Turned it off or…I don’t know…blocked me out?” he asks.

She’s carefully moderating her breathing, still has two fingers on the pulse point of her wrist and she looks…empty Jon thinks. His Rose doesn’t seem to be there, just a shell of a girl that looks like her. She’s completely flat…her voice, her posture, her words, even her speech cadence has changed…none of it is her and that crushes him. He thinks he understands what she did now.

“I think so. I’m pretty sure it was me anyways,” she says with no inflection.

"Can you fix it? Make it work again or turn it back on? Reverse whatever you did?” he asks panicked, worried and scared. Is she going to leave him now? Without this connection she could. No sickness, no him in her head. She could run...and scared has been moved up to fucking terrified.

“Do you really want that?” she asks.

Does he want that? If she can keep it turned off permanently would he want that? It is a relief not having someone else constantly in his head or being assailed with someone else’s feelings all the time, but does he want it gone permanently? No, he doesn’t want it gone. Jon knows they just need time to work out the kinks and oddities of this connection.

“Yes Rose, I want it back. If you can that is,” he says soft but determined.

“Why? Why would you want that? It was one thing when we didn’t have a choice about it, but now we do,” she says with no emotion in her tone or features.

“If you have the choice Rose…” he stops. Jon’s terrified to ask her because he thinks he knows what she’s going to say and he doesn’t know how he’ll respond to that. He sees her stand and walk over to the piles and piles of bags in the center of the room and she sits down right in the center of them.

“If I have the choice to stay like this or go back, which would I choose? That’s what you’re afraid to ask right?” she says flatly, toying with the bags in front of her.

Jon doesn’t respond. Instead he sits next to her and takes her hands in his. "All I want Rose is for you to be happy…that’s it. Whatever that entails is what I want. If you’d rather keep this thing turned off between us…fine. I don’t need this connection to work to know I love you or that you love me. It’s too late to hide that now...we both know that. This though,” he says waving his hand in front of her, “this is not my girlfriend. I get it, I do. This something you learned to do when Jimmy had you yeah? It would make sense. Physical pain is momentary, goes away when the stimulus stops, but the emotional pain…well that’s just always there isn’t it? It never stops, never goes away and that is what really kills a person,” he says, his thoughts drifting to River.

Jon looks at Rose again and he sees it then, that same vacant look in her eyes that River had before taking her own life. He thinks he should be angry when he sees it, that look on his Rose. But he’s just sad and a little more than scared she’s going to walk out on this now that she knows she can turn it off. No time like the present he thinks to himself. If she’s going to leave he’d rather she did it now.

“Since I can’t tell what’s going on in that lovely head of yours right now you’re actually going to have to talk with me Rose. It’s turned off and if you think you can keep it off…do you…are you leaving now? No awful pain in our heads and it’s probably safe to assume that we won’t get sick. We were apart all day and were fine and that was with this connection intact. So if you’re going to leave…I’d…well I’d like to know sooner than later,” he says just as flatly as her responses have been. She’s not the only one who’s learned that trick.

Part of her does want that. There’s a part of Rose that wants to run and hide from this. She could leave, go somewhere new, let Rose Tyler die and start all over with a new life. Before all of this, before Jon took her hand, she had her life down to a manageable level of discomfort. She thinks all she does is ruin people. She ruined her dad and her mum, ruined any relationship she’d ever had really. She’s going to ruin Jon too if she stays and Jack and Amy and Rory and Clara. She’s never had someone come into her life she hadn’t ruined. For all she knows Jimmy may have been a good bloke before he met her. It’s her. She’s cursed or too broken or too damaged or wrong…or something. At a certain point in your life you have to wonder if it’s everyone else that’s the problem or if it’s you. When Rose looks back at her relationships all she sees is her destroying every one of them. It’s never intentional but that doesn’t change the outcome does it? She’s a fuck-up, has always been one, maybe she’s not meant to be more than that?

Jon watches Rose closely as she considers what he’s said. It’s bothersome that it’s taking her this long to respond. He thought she’d say the same as he did. It’s too late to go back now. They can’t change what’s already happened…what they already know…just like they can’t go back and change the reasons they are who they are now. They’ve had that conversation already so he knows she knows that too. He can feel the panic attack coming on…his breathing hastening, his pulse skyrocketing, the cold sweat forming on his temples and forehead as she continues to stay silent next to him. As nice of a respite as it has been to be alone in his head he desperately wishes she’d fix this…reconnect them or…or…restart it or undo whatever it was she did. Just as he has that thought he is flooded with pain…the overwhelming emotions of his Rose in that moment.

He doesn’t know whether to cry at the happiness he has that she let him back in or scream at the amount of pain she’s pushing onto him. He pulls Rose into his lap and holds her, waits for the storm to pass, waits for her emotions to even out and tries pushing everything he feels for her. He’s hoping it will help calm her and not exacerbate the issue causing her to shut down again. Rose cries for several hours. With the amount of pain she was broadcasting it really felt as if it would never fucking stop. She’s there though, back in that spot in his head. It’s different now…softer maybe?

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly, her voice hoarse from crying.

“I know you are Rose,” he says just as softly, “I…please don’t do that again. It’s…I don’t know how to describe it other than sheer terror Rose…so please do not do that me again okay?”

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly again.

“It’s new information at least. I mean the last few hours weren’t pleasant by any means but at least we learned something new,” he says trying for positive. She stays silent though, “You were…you were going to leave weren’t you?” Still she stays silent. He doesn’t need her to answer now that the connection is intact again.

“I can feel you again…in my head. Can you…am I back in yours too?” he asks quiet, still holding her on the floor amidst the bags filled with the shit that caused this whole fucking mess to begin with.

“Yes. I’m sorry Jon,” she says so quietly he’s straining to hear her.

He’s angry; she can feel it, both in the rigidness of his body though this connection. His primary emotion is not anger though. Love is what she feels strongest and then hurt, then anger and after that it’s a mess of confusion and anxiety. As she takes stock of his emotions she realizes that she’s not being flooded with them, they are just…there. The emotions are easily discernible from each other.

“Is this…do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? Did I…when I turned it off…did I…do you think I broke it? Cause it’s different now yeah? Or is…is it only me?”

He can feel her anxiety ramping up along with shame, guilt and…oh, a lot of self-recrimination. “No it’s different for me too Rose. I can still feel you…there in my head I mean. I can still feel what you’re feeling and its…easier maybe…to tell what the emotion is. Before it was like being hit with a wave and I felt everything you were feeling. Now though, it’s…”

“Separate,” she says still quiet, “I can tell what’s mine and what’s yours now. I could before too but it was…I don’t know more…squished together I guess. Now I know what I’m feeling and what you’re feeling and they are…not squished,” she says on a sigh. She’s calmed now; he can feel it and its calming him down too.

“So…are we going to talk about what happened tonight?” he asks her gently. She doesn’t say anything. “I’m going to take a giant leap and assume it has to do with…well all of this…stuff?” he says, taking in the amount of bags and stuff littered about them.

“It’s a lot huh?” she finally replies, “Too much. I shouldn’t have bought all of this I know, but Amy…she’s like a…a…shopping…guru…or junkie…or…I don’t know…an evil shopping fairy queen or something,” she says and he can feel the start of a smile pressing against his shirt.

“That’s my fault. I should have warned you what shopping can be like with her, I’m sorry. I just thought…well…I just assumed all girls did that kind of thing,” he says, pulling her up with him and walking back to the chairs. He sits down, pulls her into his lap so that she is straddling his legs, entwines both their hands together and says, “So tell me what happened with Amy today.”

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I don’t know really. One minute everything was fine and the next she’s gone all psycho girl yelling and freaking out on me,” Rose says in a huffy tone.

“It’s not like Amy to get upset over nothing Love, something must have happened,” he presses.

“She was angry that I said I spent too much money. Honestly that’s all I said and then she just…freaked out and started yelling at me. We got back to the flat and she yelled at me more…you heard that bit though,” she says feeling like shit. She knows Amy was right about the things she said, but still…she didn’t have to be so mean about it.

“It sounded as if it’s about more than money Love,” he responds sweetly, leaning in to kiss her lightly.

“Well yeah, but that’s what set her off, the comment about me spending too much money today. She thinks I’m being selfish and single minded, not taking into consideration how this…thing is affecting everyone. She’s partly right, I didn’t really think about how this was going to affect anyone but you and me,” she says quietly and he can feel how ashamed she is.

“Just because you’re perfect to me…for me, does not make you a perfect person Rose,” he says, “None of us are perfect people. Try looking at this money thing more like…well like you’ve won the lottery yeah? One day you have no money and then the next day BOOM…overnight millionaire. The only differences between that situation and this one is that you’re millions are actually billions and come with a boyfriend who’s desperately in love with you as well,” he says, kissing her again; because he can, because she is his and he loves her, “When you were younger Rose, when you would hang out with your friends...before Jimmy and before you moved out from your mums…did you ever sit around and talk about what you would do if you had money?”

“You mean like if I had a million dollars I’d buy my own island? That kind of stuff?” she asks.

“Yes…exactly. So if you had a million dollars to do with as you please…what would you do now?” he poses to her.

Her thoughts come back to what Amy had said to her. “We could travel, or…” she trails off and he knows she’s embarrassed to say whatever it is she’s thinking. She believes he’ll think she’s daft for what she really wants to do.

“Whatever it is Rose, I’ll not ridicule you for it. We all have wishes,” he says light and soft.

Rose closes her eyes and rests her forehead to his, “Do you?” she asks softly.

This is the bit about dating Rose Tyler he has figured out. He doesn’t need the bond for this part. Jon understands that if he asks her something that requires vulnerability she will require the same of him. He’s okay with that really. Jon wants her to know what his dreams and hopes and wishes are, wants her to be there when they are granted and wants her to be part of everything he has, is or will become. “Of course I do. I wished for you,” he says quietly. Well…maybe not you Rose Tyler specifically, but I wished for someone. I wished to not be alone anymore. I wished for someone to love me…this me…broken and scared and unsure and just…me. I wished to be happy…finally happy,” he says eyes closed, forehead still pressed to hers. “And it happened. Somehow the universe granted my wishes in the form of a lovely, bright, beautifully broken you. And even though there’s all this…stuff,” he says shrugging his shoulders, “I am finally happy. I was given you and that…well that means wishes can come true. So tell me Rose Tyler what do you wish for?”

He feels her embarrassment spike quickly and a wave of arousal shoots through him. He smiles, leans in to kiss her, small and slow and sweet and perfect. “Yes, that’s on my wish list as well,” he says teasingly as another wave of her embarrassment rocks through him, “I was however referring to wishes outside of the bedroom…although…we can definitely come back to those.” It’s her turn to feel the wave of arousal and she pulls back from his face, opens her eyes and smiles at him wide and teeth and tongue and…happy. He loves her smile, wants her to always, always look at him like that...with a smile and that light in her eyes that says he just handed her the moon and stars from the sky.

“Deep breath in, deep breath out) Maybe…going back to school…or…um… maybe I could start a charity or something…you know for kids who are going through…what I went through,” she stammers out clumsily.

As soon as the words are out she wants to take them back. She’s so stupid! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid FUCKING ROSE BRAIN! She’s not even gotten her A-levels. How could someone like her ever accomplish anything like that? She was never meant to be anything more than a shop girl and wouldn’t her mother just have a field day with her thinking she could do more, be more.

Jon immediately feels regret and shame and self-doubt crawling through him. It makes him instantly enraged that she feels like that about herself. Anger courses through him and for a moment he wishes he had fucking killed Jimmy at the prison.

Rose feels his anger spike and it cuts through her self-loathing enough to pull her from it. This connection allows her to feel his anger but it doesn’t let her know what he’s angry about. She starts to pull back from him, tries to remove herself from his lap and his arms but he holds tighter to her not allowing her to move. He knows she can feel how his anger spiked and he also knows she thinks it’s because of her, which is why she is currently trying to get away.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I’m not angry with you Rose,” he says softly, patiently and she stops squirming in his arms, “I’m angry that people have made you think of yourself in such a way. You can do whatever you want…well…within reason of course. I mean it would be silly to say…try and be an astronaut or start working on string theory…or join the Olympics…but going to school…working with underprivileged kids or abused girls…You’ll be brilliant Rose Tyler.”

“Really?” she says on a whisper, “Do you…I…you would let me do that? Go to school and…start a charity or whatever? You’d really let me?” A small burst of excitement tempered with a lot of…restraint and…nervousness flits through him.

“No I won’t let you. I will however support you and help you achieve whatever it is you want. I do not own you. You are not my property or a…pet,” he knows what her argument is going to be and he puts his mouth to hers to stop it. He pulls back from kissing her, “Yes, I know it’s my money. It’s not as if you don’t know that I love you or that I don’t know you love me is it? That is the best thing about this. You know and I know…without doubt or any uncertainty whatsoever that we love each other. I also know you’re going to say that you have no idea how to do these things…that as well is a non-issue. I have teams of attorneys and accountants to help figure it all out. And the school thing, if that’s something you really want to do I can help with that too. Genius me…remember,” he says cheerfully.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Okay…I’ll…try to get over the money thing and…I…can we really look into the foundation or charity or whatever?” she asks and he can feel the excitement again. Only this time it’s not clouded by fear or self doubt…its pure excitement.

“Absolutely, I can call my attorneys tomorrow and see what needs to happen if you’d like,” he senses her excitement ratchet up and she cannot contain the smile that spreads over her features. Then he feels it. A small little thing in the back of his head…fear…real fear. Not anxiety or nervousness…but real fear. It causes his breath to catch, he looks up to her and sees that she knows he can feel it. He doesn’t ask her what it’s about…just waits patiently for her to tell him.

“My mum,” is all she says.

“What about her?” he asks.

“If Jimmy…since Jimmy has been dealt with I…I want to go see her. It’s been 10 years and I…miss her,” she says sadly, all excitement from a moment ago washed away in her fear and sadness.

“Okay,” he says, “Saturday we’ll go to London, see your mum. If there’s time I’ll have the attorneys meet up with us and go over the other stuff too. If there’s not, I’ll have them come here on Monday,” he shrugs his shoulders. She smiles at him then. It’s beautiful and wide and teeth and lips and real and she’s so happy in that moment. He stands, picking her up with him, wrapping her legs around his waist, carries her to the bed and lies down on top of her. “I,” he kisses her, “Love,” another kiss, “you, Rose Tyler,” punctuated by a longer kiss. “I also rather like the fact that you’re so easily,” he pushes himself onto her so she can feel his hardness, “pleased,” he whispers, his mouth covering hers.

Jon just starts to deepen the kiss when he hears it; Knock, Knock, Knock. He pulls back from Rose, pouts at her as he climbs from the bed to answer the door. Amy is standing there, head down, no eye contact and twirling a strand of her long ginger hair around her finger. Jon looks back over to Rose, her head also down and not looking at Amy while she twists the covers in her hands. “Right then…I’ll just let you two ladies…talk or you know…whatever girls do when they…fight,” he says scurrying from the room wanting no part in whatever is going to take place in there.

Amy steps in, shuts the door, walks over to the bed and sits beside Rose. “I’m sorry that I yelled at you and I’m sorry I said you are selfish. You’re not Rose. You are one of the most caring and compassionate people I know. I was just…”

“Amy,” Rose says interrupting her, “it’s…it’s fine really. I wasn’t thinking of everyone else. You weren’t wrong about that and you’re right about the money as well. It’s just…you know what? We both acted horribly yeah? We’ve both apologized, can we just…you know forget that it happened?” Rose looks up and sees Amy release a breath and smile.

“Yeah, that’d be wonderful,” Amy says on a relieved sigh.

Rose wants to tell her about going to see her mum, about maybe going back to school and starting up a charity. Instead she points to the large pile of bags and says, “Great! Now that we’re talking again and not mad at each other you get to help put all that shit away.” It will take some time to get all her new things sorted and she’ll talk to Amy about the other stuff while they’re doing that…mostly because if Rose has to stare at all that shit covering her bedroom floor, she’ll go crazy. Neat, organized, orderly…she still needs those things in her life and right now sorting and cleaning and organizing is exactly what she needs to calm herself she thinks. She grabs Amy’s hand and pulls her over to the piles of bags. “Right so this is how we’re going to do this…” Rose says looking at the mass of bags.

Jon can hear Rose and Amy from the other side of the door and he’s relieved its laughter and lessons on organization rather than yelling and crying. He decides to let them be and makes his way to the living room.

“Do you and Jon even own hand tools,” he hears as he makes the corner to the living room. Jon freezes in his spot, takes in the mess before him and smiles. When Rose said Amy went crazy shopping he didn’t really think so. What was on their bedroom floor didn’t seem like a lot to him. At least not for someone who’s starting from nothing like Rose is, but as he takes in the mass of shit in the living room he understands a little more of Rose’s hesitancy about the trip. Not that he minds the amount of stuff that was purchased and he’s sure girls need all this…stuff…but well…Amy may have gone a touch overboard for Rose’s first time out with an unlimited card.

“Well, this explains a little more of what happened today,” Jon laughs. Rory and Jack both startle at the intrusion of his voice and smile back to him.

“Yeah I told Amy she may have gone a little crazy,” Rory says, “But that’s who she is and I wouldn’t change anything about her…even the shopping,” he sighs, looking at the mass of stuff.

“Jack, how’d it go at the shop today?” Jon asks, his voice reaching that high note quality he hates so much. He hopes Jack was able to find a decent replacement for Rose because Jon has a feeling she won’t be going back to the shop. He is delighted at the idea that she wants to go to school, happier that she is interested in starting this foundation for…well he’s not sure but she’s moving forward and he could not be more pleased with that.

“Actually it went really well. I hired a young man for Rose’s position, Christian Lanes. He’s very yummy as Clara puts it,” Jack smiles.

He sees Jon release a breath, “That’s good…very good. Is he more than yummy? I mean he’ll be able to properly manage the shop? Did you…uh…did you tell him it may be a temporary position?” Jon asks.

“Yes, it’s not as if I’d hire him just because he has a great ass, though he does. He’ll be great. He has management experience and makes the best coffee I’ve ever had. As for the temporary thing, I did tell him that the young lady who he’s taking over for will be back,” he trails off, seeing Jon pale at his words.

“Jon? What’s wrong? Is Rose okay?” Jack rushes to ask him.

“Yeah…no…she’s fine. She’s back in the room with Amy organizing and I don’t know…whatever girls do after they have a fight. It’s just,” he trails off. He’s worried Jack is going to be upset that Rose isn’t coming back. Jon remembers him saying he was worried he’d lose her completely once they met and he feels like he’s taking her away, but…well it’s in Rose’s best interest. It’s not that he feels there’s anything wrong with working in a shop, but Rose could be so much more, do so much more than manage ledgers and serve coffee.

“What’s that look for then?” Rory asks.

“It’s just…well Rose and I were talking about what happened today and…Idon’tthinkshe’scomingbacktotheshop,” he rushes out. One hand pulling on his ear and the other is working away at the back of his neck.

“Well of course she’s not coming back to the shop,” Jack snickers at him, “Ya know Jon, for someone who’s supposed to be a genius it can take you a while to catch on.”

“Wait…what? What do you mean catch on?” he asks, his voice reaching that high note again.

“Come on, help us sort your girlfriends shit into to color coded piles, by room and function whatever that means and I’ll explain,” Jack says laughing, shaking his head at the directions Amy had given them. “Did you really think that I’d allow Rose to come back to the shop now?” Jack asks flatly, “I mean, she’s great and all. She did a wonderful job as manager and the shop would not have been successful without her. I get that. She has options now though doesn’t she? Opportunities that she wouldn’t have had before and Rose, she’s meant to be more than a coffee shop manager,” Jack sighs.

At first Jon’s annoyed that Jack wouldn’t have allowed Rose to come back, but it quickly dissipates. He knows Jack would let her come back if it’s what she really wanted, so he lets the irritation pass. Well…it passes until he sees Jack twirling what Jon can only assume is Rose’s new knickers on his finger. “Hey check these…”

Jon is up and grabbing them from Jack before he can finish the sentence. Possessiveness and rage, instant and white hot filling him and he cannot control the growl that escapes his throat as he rips the knickers from Jack’s hand. It’s only a second later Rose comes running into the room followed by Amy. She takes in the picture before her and sees Jon with her new knickers clutched in his hand, hovering over Jack. Snarling at him like a…well…angry dog and she can’t help it…she laughs as she realizes what must have happened. Rose walks over to Jon still laughing, grabs her knickers from him and stuffs them in the pocket of her jeans. She grabs his hand, entwines their fingers and she can feel his fading...not so much with the jealousy and possessiveness though.

“Apparently m’not the only one with some issues to work on,” she says, reaching up kissing his cheek.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Sorry Jack,” he says trying to rein in his temper. It’s easier with Rose holding his hand, helping to calm him.

“It’s alright. I need to remember about the growling, possessive thing. It’ll take a bit of getting used to for all of us. I’ll try and remember that flirting with Rose’s off limits now and that includes her knickers,” Jack laughs and smiles.

“Ya know Rose, you could just hire someone to come and do all this for you. I mean know we’re never going to get right. It’s more likely we’ll just piss you off by doing it wrong after you’ve given clear and precise instructions on how to do it right,” Rory comments.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I am rather particular about certain…things,” Rose says embarrassed because it’s true and she knows it.

“If I have someone come and do it for me it will all just sit here till they come to do it. That’s going to drive me barmy. Better I just do it now,” she sighs. It’s so late already and she is exhausted from the day she had.

“No worries, this is an easy fix Love. Have I said how utterly adorable it is that you are so easily pleased?” he says leaning down to kiss her.

“You may…um…that may have…come up earlier…yes,” Rose responds when he pulls back from this kiss and she smiles at him. It’s that smile with her tongue and he feels the flash of arousal course through him.

“Right…yes…I did say that earlier,” he stammers.

“And what is it you’re trying to say now Jon,” Jack laughs as he takes in the flush that has risen to Jon’s skin and he physically shakes himself to regain his bearings.

“Right…easily fixed. Rose grab whatever you think you will need for tonight and tomorrow. The three of us,” he says pointing to him, Rory and Jack, “will carry all the stuff from the bedroom and pile it out here with all this stuff…making one very large pile of…stuff. We’ll head into London first thing tomorrow morning and while we’re gone someone will come here and follow…very carefully you’re instructions on how to…you know…make this…better,” he finishes waving his hands at the massive piles of…stuff.

Anxiety, fear, excitement and…OH definitely arousal flashes through him quickly. “Yeah, alright. It’s late already and for me to do this properly it will take at least several hours. I mean if whomever we hire to do this…if they do it wrong…I can always fix it yeah? It will be like they pre-cleaned and pre-sorted everything. Like a…prep cook only…for my clothes,” she giggles and he feels the happiness rush through him. He loves her smile, always wants her smiling and happy.

“Lovely,” he says, “You just gather whatever you’ll need for tonight and the trip tomorrow and we’ll start hauling the bags from the room,” he says kissing her lightly.

“Well let’s get started then, it’s already late and if we’re to be driving to London tomorrow, by the way, why are we driving to London?” Rory asks.

“We’re to meet Rose’s mum Tiger,” Amy replies pinching his bum.

Amy and Rose start going through bags digging out the necessary items and talking about what Rose should wear. She hasn’t seen her mum in 10 years and she’s nervous Jon can feel it, but it’s the good kind of nervous, excitement and anticipation and he’s flooded again with happiness from her. As Jack and Rory start ferrying bags from the bedroom Jon slips away and heads to the office. Behind a picture of the solar system is a small safe. He was going to do this tomorrow, thought he had at least another day to get it figured out and done properly…but well…times up isn’t it? he thinks as he opens the safe.

Jon becomes giddy with excitement as he pulls the box from the safe. He’d honestly believed this would never happen, so much so that at one time he’d offered it to Rory, who declined and now he’s thankful that he did. Jon slips the box into his pocket and goes back to ferrying bags from the room.

Rose feels excitement and happiness rush through her. She has no idea what’s gotten him so pleased but she can’t help but become happier as that rushes through her. This emotion thing is like a feedback loop she thinks. He feels happy so she feels happy so he feels happier and she feels happier and on and on.

“Right then…all moved. The rooms cleared out, safe for sleeping in without driving my girlfriend crazy,” he smiles, holding his hand out to help her up from the floor.

“I’m sorry…I know it’s a bit…” Rose starts to say.

“No, it’s great…cute…afuckingdorable as Amy would say,” he says, pulling her in for a kiss, “Off to bed, early morning, long day, night all,” he rushes out dragging Rose behind him.

Rose starts laughing as soon as he slams the door closed behind her. He’s very excited about something and it’s making her kind of giddy in response. “What’s was that all about,” she asks still laughing and headed towards the bed.

“Naked, naked, naked…want you naked right now,” he says pulling clothes from her body, “Jack’s playing with your knickers, Amy and you fighting, happy, sad, scared, anxious…I just want you naked now…please?” he says quickly.

“Okay, naked it is,” she says, throwing her jimjams in the chair and proceeding to strip in front of him.

Jon pulls the box from his pocket, secrets it away under his pillow and starts pulling off his own clothes. He climbs under the covers and dims the lights just enough that they can still see each other. His heart races as Rose makes her way to the bed. She’s completely naked and that alone is enough to make his pulse rise (as well as other things), but the thought of what he’s about to do has him almost high from the excitement and anticipation. As soon as she’s within reach he yanks her into the bed beside him. Jon crawls on top of her situating himself between her legs and starts kissing her; his tongue begging entrance to her mouth and hands in her hair as he rests himself over her on his elbows. He can feel how wet she is already and he hasn’t even touched her, his cock already sliding through her folds. All day…this was all he wanted all day. He missed her so much while they were apart, then the drama with her and Amy…and all he wanted the whole time was this…her…naked under him, writhing against him and moaning his name.

He’d wanted to ask her first, wanted to surprise her. Give her his mums’ ring and then make love to her properly…slowly, like last night but she’s already soaking wet and grinding herself against him, whimpering, begging for him. Her arousal mixing with his, the electricity sparking between them, he’s not going to be able to wait and he drives into her in one swift stroke.

“Oh God,” she moans rising to meet him, “All day Jon, all I wanted all day was you,” she says between gasps for air.

Jon can’t speak, can’t form words. This is going to be over way too fast and he knows he can’t stop it. She’s so close already. He feels her orgasm approaching and it’s making his follow faster than he’d like. He reaches between them placing two fingers on her clit and starts rubbing firm circles while plunging into her. “Mine, mine, mine, now, now, now faster more harder deeper never stop oh fuck please don’t stop,” he can no longer tell who’s words belong to who. She’s rising up to meet each thrust; he sinks his teeth into her throat, her muscles spasm and clamp down on his rock hard cock. He pushes in once more and bright white fills his vision as he spends himself inside of her again.

He moves to her ear and whispers, “I love you so much Rose. I love watching you like this, love making you cum, love that I can do this to you; you’re so fucking beautiful Rose. She begins screaming loudly, his name and fuck and oh God as he feels her cum again. She definitely likes it when he talks he thinks, grinding again pulling another moan from her and he’s still not softened. He thinks if she keeps screaming like that he’s going to cum again and she starts grinding into him. It feels as if only a moment passes that she’s doing that before he’s lost in heat and lust and love and sweat and electricity and wet and Rose and he’s cumming again.

This time when he comes back down, she’s trying to catch her breath and he can hear a faint giddy laughter from her. He looks down at Rose, her eyes are closed, her mouth is closed and she has a huge smile on her face. She’s not laughing…but he can hear that she is.

A small amount of worry starts invading her post-orgasmic high and her eyes open to see Jon staring down at her. He’s not overly panicked but she can feel that something has distracted him from their activities. She looks up to him, “what’s wrong,” she asks small and quiet but happy.

“No…nothing’s wrong…I just…I thought I heard you laughing is all, but you weren’t. It’s nothing…not important…never mind,” he says kissing her. He has her distracted and reaches under his pillow for the box with his mum’s ring in it.

Rose feels a surge of excitement but it’s not…he’s not excited about sex…this is something else. It’s a joyful, good excitement but not arousal. Jon pulls back and rises to his knees in front of her, the covers falling to the end of the bed when he sits up. She is wonderfully naked in front of him, his cock still inside of her, he can see where they’re joined and it causes him to twitch inside her from. A burst of arousal flashes through him and her at the same time causing a moan to be ripped from her throat and his breath catches as she starts grinding herself against him again. He has the ring in his hand, out of the box and he thinks if he doesn’t do this now he’ll never accomplish it because he’ll fall right back into making love to her again…especially if she keeps doing that.

“Rose Love,” he says, placing his hand on her hip forcing her movements to still, “please…just…just for a minute yeah?” He sees her close her eyes and try to focus on pushing away the incredible amount of arousal raging through both of them.

Once he feels her movements still and that Rose spot in his head calm down, he feels his own arousal lessening as well. Breathing…he focuses on breathing. He wants to bend down and rest his forehead to hers it’s comforting…safe. Jon needs to be able to see her though and wants her to see him, so he resists the urge to hide away while he does this. He looks down at her to make sure her eyes are open.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Rose, I love you. Please marry me,” he says softly, opening his hand showing her the ring.

Disbelief, elation, delight, and love rock through his body and he knows what she’s going to say before she says it. Rose immediately sits up, wrapping her legs around his waist with him still inside of her; the new angle pulling him into her further and places her lips to his, “Yes,” she hisses out against his lips, holding her hand out to him. He slides the ring on her finger just as she starts moving again and he has no time to say anything before her tongue is in his mouth and he’s falling back on top of her.

Words, he decides are overrated. That Rose spot in his head is back, it’s pulsing and he can feel how pleased she is as it courses through him feeding his own pleasure. All Jon knows for the next several hours is heat and sweat and love and lust and teeth and skin and her and him and wet and Oh My Fucking God it’s just, “Bloody brilliant,” he says low and throaty into her ear as he cums with her. He falls to the side of her; she takes her spot on his chest and curls into him. Rose brings her hand up so she can look at the ring and Jon reaches to turn the lights up just a bit.

“It’s beautiful,” she says when she finally gets to see it, “When…how did you even have time to do this?”

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “It’s…it was my mum’s ring,” he says quietly and her surprise rushes through him.

“It’s lovely,” she says quietly, “perfect…you’re perfect Jon,” she says through tears.

“Yeah?” he asks, “I wasn’t sure if…I didn’t know if you’d want one of your own…a new one. I had this planned for tomorrow because I wanted to do it before we saw your mum. I just…that’s not the only reason of course but it’s the reason I didn’t do this properly. I didn’t have a lot of time to come up with a proper proposal and then when we came in here I was going to do it then…but…well…things happened and then they kept happening and I thought I’d never get around to it if I didn’t just do it then and It really wasn’t how I’d planned but…I’m so happy you said yes Rose and I love you so much,” he says, the words soft and a little hesitant.

Rose crawls on top of him and looks down. “It truly is perfect Jon,” she says. Her smile is wide and beautiful and he can feel how delighted she is through this connection and he smiles back to her. “The ring as well as the proposal,” she says kissing him.

“You’re not disappointed that it wasn’t…I don’t know…better planned?” he asks nervously. She can tell he’s anxious about how he proposed and she doesn’t want that. For Rose it really was perfect. She’s not a grand gesture kind of girl and thinks something like that would have likely made her uncomfortable.

“No, this was…it was perfect for us…who we are,” she says softly, resting her forehead to his, “Your mum had wonderful taste in jewelry.”

Jon’s hands are around her back pulling her fully onto him, her head resting in his neck and he can feel her warm breath right next to his ear. “Actually, my dad…he had it custom made for her. It’s the same ring he proposed to my mum with.” He whispers and he has no idea why he’s so nervous. She’s already said yes and he knew she would…they’d discussed it a handful of times already…but he’s…not scared really…but something he can’t quite place.

She can feel his distress. It’s not overwhelming but it’s there…noticeable. “Were you worried I’d say no?” she says softly. Her breath catches for just a moment when she feels how true that is.

“I…it’s one thing talking about having a life and a whole other thing when you start to actually have that life isn’t it? I mean, I knew you’d say yes because we’d talked about it already. I know I want this, that I know I love you…without question; but still…big step. I just…I’m pleased you said yes and I was worried for a moment that you’d not like the ring or want…I don’t know a different proposal,” he says quietly… slightly panicked.

“Nope,” she says popping the p and he feels a rush of excitement go through him. She sits back up so that she’s towering over his prone form and smiles down at him. “Jon,” she says and stops.

“Rose,” he says back smiling just as wide and that spot in her head that’s just for him pulses again.

“We’re to be married,” she squeals in excitement. It surges through him quick and so hard it takes his breath from him for a moment. She really wants this…wants him…she’s agreed to be his wife and that…he can’t breathe…he’d never thought…“Breathe Love,” she giggles from above him, placing her hand over his heart.

He pulls her down beside him again, encircles her in his arms and buries his head in her neck. “Rose?” he asks, voice muffled from being buried in her hair.

“Yes Jon,” she responds, holding out her hand so she can look at the ring and she’s so, so, so happy right now. She pushes as hard as she can what she feels in this moment to him. Rose has no idea how much damage she may have caused earlier to this connection they share. She thinks its fine, better than actually. He’s there all the time, she can still feel what he does but it’s no longer or painful.

“How soon?’ he asks quietly and she can feel his nervousness again.

“How soon what?” she asks, distracted by the ring she can’t stop staring at. She can’t help it; she never thought she’d have this.

“How soon do you want to be married?” he says quietly. He feels a wave of pure joy wash over him and that Rose spot in his pulsates to the beat of their combined heartbeats. The emotion so strong it causes his breath to stall and his arms grasp her tighter.

“Tonight, tomorrow as soon as fucking possible,” he hears so excited the words all run together.

“Rose Love, if we were to have the ceremony tonight…don’t you want our friends there…your mum?” he asks feeling high from the amount of emotion passing between them and the electricity coursing through his entire body. Jon chooses to not say that it’s not even a possibility to do it that soon. She’s so happy right now and he refuses to ruin her enthusiasm.

“What,” he hears her say…and a feeling of shock rushes through him only minimally dimming the excitement and joy.

He laughs at the way her voice raises at least 2 octaves and says, “I said…”

“No…Jon…I know what you said but…you heard me? Tonight, tomorrow as soon as fucking possible…you…you heard that?” she says soft but quick.

“Well yeah, I’m right here Love,” he laughs.

“But…” the excitement dims, anxiety is taking over and he sits up so he can see her properly.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“I didn’t…but I didn’t say that though…I only thought it Jon...I didn’t actually say the words out loud,” she says and now he can feel fear again.

“Rose, it’s likely another aspect this connection presenting itself. Don’t let it upset you. I’m sure we’ll be discovering all sorts of new things as we learn more about it, as it gets stronger,” he says trying to reassure her.

Her anxiety lessens and the fear dissipates, “Try it again?” he asks.

“Try what?” she asks.

“Think something, anything. I just…I want to see if we can do it again,” he says.

She feels his excitement ratchet up and it causes her to grin. I love you, I love you, I love you she thinks. “Anything?” she asks quietly.

“Nope…well not nothing…I can feel you but I can’t hear you like I did before and…I love you too Rose,” he says, pulling her closer.

Giddy and happy and love and him and her and he’s going to be her husband and…Amy…she needs Amy right now! Rose bolts from the bed, grabbing her jimjams from the chair.

“Rose…what…” he trails off when he sees her putting clothes on, “Clothes?” he pouts, “Why exactly are you wearing clothes? I thought we agreed to no clothes,” he pouts. She doesn’t respond just smiles at him as she pulls her shorts on and then she’s rushing out the door.

“Amelia Jessica Pond…get you bum out here right now,” she yells through the door she’s currently beating on.

Amy comes rushing to the door and it flies open, “Oh my God Rose you scared the shit out of us. We were sleeping what’s the matter?” she rushes out as Jon comes to stand behind Rose happily grinning at Amy and Rory.

“What’s wrong, what’s happened, who’s hurt,” Jack says impatiently, rushing into the hall in just his pants.

Rose holds her hand out for Amy to see and it takes a second for it to register to her sleepy brain, “OH MY GOD!” Amy starts squealing, jumping up and down holding Rose’s hand.

“I know right!” Rose squeals back in the same high-pitched voice that Jack, Rory and Jon wish only dogs could hear.

“Now? Just now he gave this to you?” Amy queries oozing joy and happiness.

“This is clearly a chick thing,” Jack states not happy that he was woken up, turning back to his room and closing his door on the squealing girls.

“Ladies as lovely and wonderful as this news is…Congratulations by the way Jon, we have to drive into London tomorrow and I would really love some sleep before then. Amy My Love come back to bed and do this girlie thing tomorrow yeah?” Rory says tiredly.

“Yeah, fine. But you better be more excited when I say yes to you Rory Andred’s,” Amy grins to him.

He’s so tired, still incoherent from the way he was woken up that it takes a second to process what she said to him. “What?” he says, closing the door on Jon and Rose.

As Jon grabs her hand to pull her back to their room he thinks Rose is amazing. Certainly different from any other person he’s ever known. Anyone, he doesn’t think it matters who they are would be focusing on the fact that he just heard her thoughts. She had a thought and he heard it as if she had said the words out loud…that is…well…pretty fucking cool! It’s like a superpower he thinks. Rose wasn’t thinking about that though. She wasn’t rushing to get her best friend to talk about new cool super human powers…no she wanted her best friend to gush over the fact that he’d proposed to her, had given her his mothers ring.

“Rose, don’t you think we should have at least mentioned the telepathy to Rory and Amy? They are our…well Rory is our doctor, it’s probably something we should have informed him of,” he says sliding back into bed.

Rose slides into bed next to him and curls into his side, her head on his chest, her hand over his heart and shrugs her shoulders (as best she can in that position), “Meh…it’s just more…stuff. Rory was tired and they were sleeping, no need to get into it tonight. Besides it will give you and Rory something to discuss on the drive tomorrow while Amy and I are making wedding plans,” she smiles huge and wide and beautiful into his chest, “Also, you said it wasn’t a big deal yeah? So why bother giving them the information tonight?” she says quietly and he can tell sleep is pulling her under and he allows it to pull him down as well.


	22. Chapter 22

Knock, knock, knock, he hears softly on the bedroom door. “Up…I’m up,” Jon hollers through layers of honey colored hair covering his face and he smiles as he tries to move it. “Rose, time to get up Love,” he says rubbing his hand up and down her back softly.

“Mmmph…times’ it?” he hears muffled from her face pressed into his chest.

“7:00 a.m. approximately, give a minute or two,” he whispers into her hair, “London today, your mum…remember?” Jon feels her entire body tense when he mentions her mum and he holds her just a little tighter as the anxiety flares then dies back down.

“k…m’up,” she says softly.

“Coffee? Of course you want coffee I don’t know why I asked that,” he says laughing lightly, “I’ll go and grab it okay, back in a moment, but really Rose you need to get up and moving if we’re to go into London…please,” he says, making his way to the door. Rose sits up, rubs the sleep from her eyes and the hair from her face. She’s adorable like this he thinks as he looks at her. Hair a complete rats nest, brain not functioning yet, eyes half lidded, limbs uncoordinated, her skin still warm from sleep and the most beautiful small smile as her legs kick back and forth trying to untangle herself from the covers.

Jon opens the door and almost steps on the tray at his feet laden with bagels, cream cheese, fruit and coffees from H&W. He reaches down, grabs the tray, backs into the room and closes the door. Rose is still fighting with the covers and he laughs as he walks over to her and holds out her cup. He knows it’s for her, can tell by the Mrs. Ardis that is scrawled in Clara’s writing.

“Coffee, coffee, coffee,” she says, reaching out her tiny hand making grasping motions for the cup.

When the light from the window sparks of the diamond on her hand and she reads the words on the cup Rose jumps off the bed and almost tackles Jon. He was not prepared for that and almost drops her to the floor. However as her mouth latches onto his and her legs wrap around his waist he thinks being tackled first thing isn’t so bad if it’s Rose and he kisses her back. She tastes sweet, like her coffee. He can’t help the groan released from the back of his throat as he realizes this is his life now. Smiles and hand holding and tiny touches and kissing and Rose in his bed every night and every morning and her…pressed against him like this in his arms naked and happy and oh…OH…he thinks as a wave of lust passes from her to him and she smiles against his lips.

“We don’t have time,” he mumbles against her lips as he’s walking back to the bed. She smiles against his mouth again.

“Okay,” she says just before he feels her tongue sliding against his.

His legs hit the bed, he falls onto her and she is still wrapped around him; her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Wife…I’m to be his wife she thinks as he fits himself between her legs. He’s going to marry me and he loves me she thinks as he starts kissing her neck. A baby…I’m going to be a mum…we’re going to have a baby. How soon will he want that she wonders as he slides himself through her wetness and she hears a low groan from him.

She’s there again…her voice in his head. He can hear what she’s thinking, feel what she’s feeling at the same time and it’s brilliant. He hadn’t planned on making love to her, they need to get ready to go but as her emotions (love, lust, want, need, joy, wonder...trust) rush through him, the electricity starts building and he hears in his head Rose wanting to know how soon he’d be willing to give her children…he’s lost…too far gone to stop.

“Now,” he says, pushing into her, “Right now Rose,” he says into her ear, “I’m ready now. I want children with you now Love,” he says thrusting harder and faster. The thought that she wants his children now, now, now pushing his arousal higher and higher increasing his need for her until he’s lost all control over his own movements and the only thing in his head is mine, mine, mine.

Rose is instantly lost to the feel of him and his words, her orgasm fast approaching. Jon is at her ear telling her all of the things he wants from their life together; how much he loves her, how happy she has made him, how good she feels around him and faster and harder and deeper and more and him and her and heat and light and electricity and love and family and trust and, “I love you Rose so much,” over and over until her body goes rigid and stills beneath him, her teeth sinking into his flesh pulling him over the edge with her and Jon collapses on top of her. Rose gently runs her hands up and down his back as their breathing slows.

“Do you think I could be?” she asks quietly.

“Pregnant?” he responds just as softly.

“Yeah…yes…do you…could I be pregnant now…is there…I don’t know is there a test that would show if I was?” she stammers out and he can feel excitement and hope flaring in his chest.

“Do you want me to ask Rory? He’d be able to tell us if there’s a test he can do now,” Jon says, rolling from her and sitting up in the bed.

Nervousness courses through him for a just a moment, replaced with…something completely foreign and new. Once the nervousness dissipates from her emotions she’s…calm. Not the always incredibly manic type of calm Rose normally is in his head…but actual calm. Jon thinks she may give monks a run for their money with the kind of calm that is washing over him. Calm and just there in the back of his head, peaceful and so, so, so fucking happy that he may start to cry from it.

“Yes, we’ll ask him on the drive. I don’t…I don’t want to tell everyone though,” she says and he feels her anxiety ramp up just a touch.

“Okay, just Rory and Amy then,” he smiles to her and feels the anxiety lessen within her and in turn him, “Shower?” he asks helping her up from the bed.

“Yep,” she says stepping into his arms. She holds onto him tightly for just a moment and breathes him in before running off to the loo.

Jon grabs his things and heads to the loo in the hall. He always thinks of getting in with Rose, but he knows they’d never leave the room then. Eventually this connection will equalize and then maybe they can do things like showers and baths together…or…he just needs to make sure they have nothing to do that day and wouldn’t be missed if they spent all day making love. As he gets in and the water starts rushing over him, Jon thinks this is the first day in so many years that he’s woken up completely content and at peace with his life.

Rose showers frantically, is out quickly, dressed and applying her new make-up the way she was shown at the salon. She is in absolute go mode…wants to get on the road before she loses her nerve to see her mum. Less than 40 minutes after she got in the shower she is dressed, ready to go and headed to the living room. Jon feels her excitement, nervousness and her…impatience…her need to leave rightfuckingnow! He rushes through his morning rituals, arrives in the living room only moments after she does and sees there is no one but Rose there.

“Where is everyone,” he asks.

“In the car waiting for us. Jack went to the shop already with Clara. Ready to go?” she says rushed and mildly panicked.

“Yep,” he says, grabbing her hand and headed out the door and to the car.

He places Rose in the back seat next to Amy and takes his seat in the front next to Rory who is driving. Amy and Rose spend the ride discussing wedding details. Colors and clothes, big or small, who’s going to be invited, venues and cakes and **THE DRESS**. As Jon understands it the capitol letters in **THE DRESS** are necessary as is the term **THE DRESS** itself.

“How soon are you two wanting to do this?” Amy asks.

“As soon as we can,” Rose says smiling, “But I want my mum to be there…if…if she will that is, so I’ll have to ask her today when she’d be available.”

Jon feels a crushing sadness take over that spot in his head. He’s thankful that he can still know what she’s feeling without it taking him over as well now. He looks back and sees her still chatting with Amy and a smile on her face. It’s the fake one again…he’s not seen that since the first day he nicked her from the shop. To Jon, that moment in time seems like a lifetime ago. He knows it’s only been 13 days, but it feels as if years have passed by.

Since taking Rose from the shop everything has been…well…chaotic and time has been off. Minutes pass like hours and at times hours seem to take only minutes to go by…it’s a weird feeling for Jon. He is unsure if that’s an effect of this connection or if it’s a normal thing that happens to everyone when they fall in love…time going wonky like that. He is so far out of his scope of knowledge, both with this connection and his relationship with Rose. He’s not used to asking others for answers. He thinks that if he can just get him and Rose to a place where things are less frantic he will have time to properly investigate this connection between them.

“Rory,” he hears Rose’s voice break through his internal monologue. Anxiety, fear, excitement, hesitation…Jon feels them all from Rose as she starts speaking. “Is there…is there a test that you can run to tell me if I’m pregnant this soon?” Rose asks rushed and quiet.

“Have you missed your period?” he asks, his voice switching to Dr. Rory.

Amy finds that insanely cute and amusing, that he has a Rory voice and a Dr. Rory voice. She helped him pick the Dr. Rory voice and persona while he was studying for his exams. He was so scared to become a proper doctor, worried he was just a kid playing dress up. Amy told him that’s exactly what he needed to do. He needed to decide the kind of person he wanted to be seen as when at work and play pretend until it wasn’t pretend anymore. So, one night after hours of studying and then hours of making love to Amy he made a list. Now when he slips into the Dr. Rory persona he always remembers that night with her. It’s calming for him, that memory. It carries with it the knowledge that no matter who he is in that moment there is someone, one person, Amy who knows who he really is, always.

“Well…that’s an issue. My cycles not…ever since…sometimes…I have one and sometimes I don’t,” Rose stutters out.

Dr. Rory wants to ask questions about that…friend Rory however realizes now is not the time. “We could go to hospital before your mums if you’d like. I have a mate who works in the lab at the hospital. We could draw your blood and have it tested while we see your mum. It would be done in a few hours and then you’d know. But that’s the only test that could tell you so soon,” he tells her.

“Rose, do you think…are you thinking you’re pregnant?” Amy asks and Rose can see she’s trying to contain her excitement.

Rose smiles huge and wide and full and Jon feels all of her sadness and anxiety wash away as she looks at Amy and says, “I don’t know if I am…but well…we’ve not used protection and…we…we hope that I am.”

“Oh My God! Rose that’s fucking huge and OH MY God!!! Rory? Rory did you hear?” she asks emphatically smacking his shoulder. Amy leans up to the back of the driver’s seat and places her arms around the front so they are draped over his shoulders, “Rory if Rose is pregnant you need to get busy getting me knocked up!” she exclaims and Rory is so stunned at her comment that he swerves the car and almost goes off the road.

“Rory, do you need me to drive,” Jon laughs at him.

“No…I…what…Amy did you just…did you say you want to get pregnant? Did…I did hear that right…I’ve not gone crazy or something…right?” he says truly wondering if he’d fallen asleep and was dreaming.

“I said, if Rose is already pregnant you need to hurry. If she’s not then we need to research our cycles and stuff; you know align them. We could be pregnant at the same time and the babies could be best mates growing up and what if one of us has a boy and the other a girl? They could grow up and be married and have babies and Rory you need to pull the car over right now!” she shouts and he pulls off the road almost into the ditch.

She’s out of the car the instant it stops and Rory is right behind her asking what’s the matter, “Are you sick, are you hurt?” he says panicked and they hear Amy laugh.

“No Tiger, relax. I’m fine I just got myself so excited I almost wee’d in the car,” she says as she straightens and buttons her jeans.

Rory is on her as soon as she finishes; kissing her, backing her up against the hood of the car and lying on top of her. In the last 12 hours Amy has not only confirmed that she’s to be his wife, but that she wants his children…now…right now. Not in a year or 5 years she’s ready now. He’s ready now too and that thought is making him very ready right now, against the hood of a car with his two friends trying to turn away and not watch the porno playing out in front of them.

Rory is not one to be overly affectionate in public. Hand holding small kisses on the cheek, but this is really fucking hot Amy thinks as she pushes up into him and pulls out that low throaty noise that earned him his nickname.

Jon leaves the car, opens the door for Rose, grabbing her hand and pulling her away from what he is now certain is going to happen on the hood of Donna’s car. He hastens his steps pulling a giggling Rose behind him and searches for anywhere to hide out till this is over. Jon mumbles, “On the bright side this should be quick,” and he hears Rose snicker from behind him. Trees, he’s found a grove of trees to hide in…thank God.

Rory has her jeans and knickers off of one leg not even bothering to remove them fully, Amy’s managed to get his pants and jeans down his hips and his fingers slip through her checking her wetness. “Not necessary,” she says into his mouth, batting his hands away, aligning herself with him and pushing up as he slides into her. “Fuck, Amy,” he groans. That’s all he remembers until his face is pressed into her chest, his breath coming back and a car honks its horn as it drives by them. He pulls himself from Amy who is giggling and smiling and putting her clothes back on as he redresses himself. “Grrr…Jesus Tiger, if I’d known telling I wanted a baby would have you reacting like that I’d have said it months ago,” she smiles, reaching up kissing him.

Rory grabs onto her and folds himself fully around her. “I love you Amy, so much. And right now I wish I had the words to express how truly happy you’ve made me,” he cries into her neck, “I’d not dared to hope…I thought…you’d said before you didn’t want a family,” he says still crying and shaking and all she can do is hold him until it passes.

“We’ve not talked about in years Love. We were just kids the last time you brought this up Rory,” she says happy and releasing a small laugh. “We need to find Jon and Rose, they took off down the road to give us privacy,” she laughs again, “Privacy…as you’re shagging me on the hood of a car parked on the side of the road during morning rush hour…well it was a nice thought anyways.” Amy grabs his hand and heads off to find their friends still laughing.

Rory is ecstatic. He does not give a single fuck that he just shagged her against the car in morning traffic and their friends had to flee the scene. She could be pregnant now…no protection. They have always been so careful about protection. She’s never been on the pill because she doesn’t believe in taking unnecessary medications, but condoms and spermicides have their own drawer in their home. She could be pregnant right now…and he smiles.

“Ollie, Ollie, Oxen free,” they hear Amy’s voice ring out just as they reach the tree line and Jon immediately turns back around and heads for the car.

As he reaches Amy and Rory he gives them a wicked grin and says, “So, all done with the lesson in public indecency then,” Rose just loses it. She starts laughing so hard that Jon is physically dragging her back to the car and places her in the back seat. Everyone else climbs in and Rory pulls back onto the road.

“Sorry about that mate…well no I’m actually not,” Rory grins over to Jon.

“Yep…no worries,” Jon turns so he can see Rose. “I completely understand,” he says softly so only Rory can hear him. The girls have moved on and are back to discussing weddings and babies and there is even more squealing now than before. “Hospital first,” Jon says, “and…there’s been a development with this connection,” he says quietly again so that only Rory can hear him.

Rose doesn’t understand why Jon’s whispering. She thinks it’s silly. Rose knows he’s heard her thoughts more than once. She’s decided Jon was right last night. It’s not something to be worried about, just another twist in this connection. It’s not all of the time and…well…honestly she doesn’t feel the slightest trace of worry about it. In fact her biggest concern in her life at this moment is her mum. She hasn’t seen her in 10 years. Rose has no idea what kind of reception to expect from Jackie. She has also decided that she’s going to be okay with whatever happens today. Yes, she misses her mum and yes, she wants to have her in her life…but she’s lived without Jackie this long and she knows she can continue to do so if life requires it. Right now her life is perfect and that level of perfection increases each day that she is with Jon. As that thought finishes she feels him push on her. She is lost for a moment in love and happiness, that Jon spot in her head flares brightly and a burst of affection course through her. Perfect…they are perfect together she thinks as she tunes back into to Amy.

Rory pulls into hospital and it takes less than 20 minutes to have her blood drawn and delivered to the lab. She’s told the results will be in within 4 hours and have a nice day Miss then back in the car and off to the Powell Estates. Rory pulls to a stop and the car is silent. Jon can feel waves of fear, anxiety and hurt coming from Rose and he tries to push calm thoughts, his steadfast support and love back at her.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I haven’t seen or talked to my mum in a long time. Would you all…do you mind if I go by myself? After I…I’ll either text you when it’s okay to come up or (Deep breath in, deep breath out) I’ll be back down shortly yeah?” Rose says to the group.

No one says anything and she doesn’t need them too. Rose knows they understand. Jon leaves the car, opens her door and grabs her hand to help her up. He folds himself around her and whispers in her ear, “I’ll be right here Rose. If you need me I’ll be right here okay?” She holds him tighter for just a moment before pulling back and silently heading towards the building.

“Jon, can you keep track of her vitals and stuff?” Rory asks.

“Not as such no, but if she’s scared or anxious I can feel it. Also, the levels of her emotions…so I know if it’s a normal level of anxiety or fear compared to…well like right now…she’s properly freaking out. I imagine that’s to be expected though…so normal levels for the situation,” he replies.

“Explain to me about the new development?” Rory asks.

“Last night…well all of yesterday really. While you were…upset with Rose in the living room last night…it…she turned it off. She basically put herself into a meditative state so she could handle the emotional aspects of your argument. When she did that it stopped or paused this connection between us. It was like it had never been there. We talked in the room, she broke down for about 2 hours, when she stopped crying it started coming back but it was…different. Better actually, at least I think so. Before it was…at times it was overwhelming. We couldn’t tell what emotion belonged to whom and sometimes it was incredibly painful. Now though, it’s like there’s a spot in my head where Rose is all of the time,” Jon says.

“What happened last night?” Rory asks again.

“I was…I heard Rose’s thoughts,” he says.

“In your head you mean? Telepathy?” Amy asks.

“Yes,” Jon replies.

“Did it happen for Rose as well?” Rory asks him.

“No. As far as I know it’s…I’ve been the only one,” he tells them both.

“Were you intimate at the time?” Rory asks in his Dr. voice.

“Yes. Both times it happened,” Jon answers.

“Why didn’t Rose say anything last night?” Amy pouts, her feelings clearly hurt. She sees him smile and it’s huge and beautiful and full of happiness when he answers.

“She was so happy Amy. When I asked her to marry me…she was happy. All she wanted was to share with her best-mate that she was engaged. It was…that spot in my head that is Rose…it feels just like Rose yeah. Calm on the surface but chaotic and rough and a little manic underneath. When I asked her to marry me that was gone…she was just happy…peaceful…calm. It was such a beautiful thing Amy,” he says getting misty remembering what that felt like for her.

“Well when you put it like that, I can hardly be upset that she didn’t rush over to tell me about her mutant fiancés new superhuman mind powers,” Amy teases.

“Thank you for…understanding and it’s time to go upstairs,” Jon says, “Meet the in-law…Oh God…I’m to meet her mum. I’ve never met a girl’s mum before. What if she hates me? What if she slaps me? What if she…”

“Chill. It’ll be fine Jon,” Rory laughs interrupting him, climbing from the car, taking Amy’s hand.

Rose walks very slowly across the parking lot. She’s intentionally being slow, moderating her breathing and trying to keep her anxiety levels low. She doesn’t want to be in the throes of a panic attack when she sees her mum. The closer she gets to the building however, the faster her pace is. By the time she’s reached the stairs Rose is at a full on run, taking the steps two at a time, running down the walkway and immediately knocking on the door.

“Come on in Madge. You’re hours early,” Rose hears her mum say.

She grabs the handle, twists and steps inside to a room she hasn’t seen in 10 years. It’s like a time capsule and she is transported back to her youth. Its…shocking and she’s struggling to gain her breath. “Madge why you so,” CRASH! Rose hears as her mother rounds the corner and drops the tea she was holding. She stares at Jackie and Jackie stares right back for what seems an eternity.

Hi mum,” she finally says with a small smile and an equally small wave. Her other hand is playing with the hem of her shirt and one of her chuck's digs into the blush colored shag carpet of her childhood.

“Rose? OH MY GOD ROSE!” Jackie screams, running to her daughter and pulling her in for a hug instantly sobbing.

Once the shock of seeing each other passes and the tears come to a stop they take a seat on the couch next to each other. Rose and Jackie spend the next 3 hours catching up on each others lives. She gives her mum a very watered down version of events and she knows Jackie’s doing the same. Rose figures they’ll be time later to expand…maybe…she’s not decided yet how much she wants her mum to know.

“I’ve quit drinkin’…3 years back now. I’m sorry Rose for those horrible things I said the last time we saw each other. Your dad…he never…”

“Mum, its fine,” Rose says cutting off Jackie’s apology, “It was a long time ago and we both said some really awful things. What’s happened in the past…we can’t…well we can’t change that or fix it can we? All we have is now mum…we can fix us now.”

“Nothin’ to fix Love. You’re my daughter and I’m your mum and I’ll always love you Rose,” Jackie says trying not to cry again.

“Mum…”

“No…no more cryin’. This is a happy thing…you bein’ here. Tell me bout’ you’re life now yeah?” Jackie says smiling, forcing the tears back.

“I…uh…I’m engaged and I have some really great friends. Life’s…it’s good right now. For the first time in a really long time things are really great mum,” Rose tells her.

“Engaged? Like to be married? My baby’s getting’ married? Where is he then? He let you come here after 10 years of not seein’ your mum alone?” Jackie says, clearly unhappy, “Didn’t even have the courtesy to come meet me? Has your taste in men worsened Rose? How could…”

This is familiar to Rose. Jackie's ranting and complete inability to be happy with anything Rose has ever done. She's never been good enough for her mum. When she worked in the clothing shops Jackie accused her of putting on airs and graces. When she worked at the local market Jackie's said she wasn't trying hard enough to reach her potential. No boy Rose was interested in was ever good enough and Jackie was never pleased with her friends either.

Rose wonders if she told Jackie that she had no need for a job, that her life had turned into some Cinderella fairytale if she'd finally be happy with her only child. As she listens to Jackie rant she thinks that her mum may never be happy with her. Maybe that's just who her mum is. Rose thinks she needs to make a decision about her mum. She loves Jackie and has missed her fiercely, but with everything Rose has been through...maybe it's not the best decision to let Jackie back in?

“Mum…no…he’s…Jon’s in the car. I asked him to wait so I could…well I didn’t know how this was gonna go did I? I din’t want him meetin’ ya all sauced up and…and…well ya know…the old you did I? Might’ve made him change his mind,” Rose says cutting Jackie’s rant off.

She knows she’s getting irritated and she also knows her speech patterns are reverting. (Deep breath in. deep breath out) “Mum, Jon is waiting in the car until I text him to come in. I just wanted some time with you alone first. My friends Rory and Amy are down in the car as well. Do you…are you ready to meet them?” Rose asks timidly.

“Of course I am,” Jackie states with a smile.

“How’d you know it was time to go up anyways? Rose didn’t text you until after you said it,” Rory asks him as they walk up the stairs.

“I felt her anxiety levels spike, the drop, then spike. Figured that meant initial meeting was done, catch up was done and when they spiked again…well…I just assumed that was Rose telling Jackie about me, then she texted,” he says clearly chuffed that he’s working out some of the intricacies of this connection.

All three of them stop in front of the door and no one makes a move to knock or any sound at all. Jon knows…can actually access the memories in vivid detail, the way Jackie had treated his Rose. He needs to keep calm though. Rose obviously feels that Jackie’s made a change for the better as she’s been in there for over 3 hours and nothings been blown up and no dead bodies have been thrown over the rail. He raises his hand to the door… (Deep breath in, deep breath out) Knock, knock, kno…and the door opens.

“Mrs. Tyler,” Jon says bringing his hand out, “Jon Ardis, it’s lovely to meet you,” he says smiling as genuinely as he can (which isn’t really at all).

“It’s just Jackie Love, no need to be formal. If you’re Jon, that must make you Amy and you Rory. Well come in, it’s cold out there,” she says backing away so the three of them can enter.

Rose is instantly at his side, her hand grabbing for his the moment he’s in the flat. Now that he’s in the same room he feels her panic stifling him, taking the air from his lungs and making him want to vomit. Jon starts rubbing small circles on the back of her hand trying to calm her. He feels her release some of the tension in her tiny frame and the grip on his hand slackens enough that blood can move freely again. The stabbing pain in the center of his head dies down as she takes a breath.

Jon leans in and whispers in her ear, "It's okay Rose. Everything will be okay, it's you and me and when we leave here it will still be you and me, regardless of how this works out." Rose melts into his arms and breathes in his scent, calming her further.

It had not gone unnoticed by Jackie that her daughter was instantly at this mans side. Looks over at Jon she eyes him critically. He must be in his early thirties, nice clothes, much nicer than any boy Rose had brought home previously. Jackie is still reeling from the fact that her daughter is here. She'd believed Rose was done with her; that she'd never see or speak to her only child again. She wonders if Rose being here now is a product of her relationship with this man.

She takes in the scene before her, as Rose curls into him and Jon instantly knows how to calm her. It reminds her of Pete. He was like that for her. Jackie was always such a mess and he was...well Pete...he was perfect for her. He had the ability to calm her and make everything else fade away with the touch of his hand or a simple word whispered in her ear. She sees that in Jon and Rose, he has that same ability as Pete.

Jackie tries so hard to remember that this is Rose at 27 not 17. She looks both the same and different at the same time. Rose is dressed in nice clothes, nothing like she would have worn when she was younger. Her make-up is light, the dark kohl and heavy mascara around her eyes is gone and her hair is dyed a more natural color. On the outside Rose seems composed and controlled, but Jackie knows her daughter better than that. Inside that head of hers, Jackie knows Rose is panicking. It's in her eyes...the one place she could always find the truth from Rose.

She wishes that it didn't have to be like this, but Jackie also knows she has a lot she needs to make up for. She has put herself in this place and she doesn't really know how to make it better. The way she treated Rose and the horrible things she had said; not just the last time they saw each other, but for a long while before that as well...she has no idea how to make that better.

“Well don’t just stand around, take a seat and I’ll put on tea,” Jackie says, hurrying off to the kitchen. Jon pulls Rose to the couch and sits her next to Amy and Rory, he takes one of the two chairs, leaving the other for Jackie.

“Rose, are you okay?” he whispers.

“Yeah…just…a lot ya know?” she says quietly.

Jon does know. That’s the thing about this connection. Jon knows everything, every single second of her life and thanks to his genius brain and eidetic memory he can likely recall them even better than Rose can.

“So Jon, tell me about you. Rose din’t say much other than you’re gettin’ married. What do you do for a livin’?” Jackie asks him.

“I’m a professor of physics and history at the University in Cardiff. I’ve been there for the last 10 years or so,” Jon replies calmly.

“10 years? Blimey how old are you mate?” Jackie asks, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I’m 33. I received both my doctorates at 24 and went straight into my professorship…so just under 10 years I suppose,” he says trying for good-natured. Jon really is trying to contain his…smugness. He does not want to give Jackie that impression of him and right now she’s looking at him as if he’s a kidnapper come to steal her child.

24? He was 24 when he finished Uni with 2 degrees? That's...well...that's great and all but how did Rose end up with a genius professor who clearly has money. There's dating above your station in life and then there's...well...catching the biggest fish in the ocean Jackie thinks to herself.

She eye's Jon suspiciously and asks, “How’d ya meet my Rose then? She din’t say nothin’ bout’ goin’ to Uni. Rose did you go to Uni?”

“No mum. I…(Deep breath in, deep breath out) Jon’s best-mate…he…uh…he owns the shop where I work. We met there,” Rose stutters out.

“What kinda shop you in now love?” Jackie asks, still watching Jon closely.

“It’s a coffee shop. I’ve been there just over 3 years now. Rory,” she points over to Rory, “he owns the shop with Jack. I’ve been there since it opened. Well before it opened actually.”

“So he’s your boss then? You have your boss chauffeurin’ you about?” she says taken aback.

“Oh, yeah I own part of the shop but I’m really more of an investor. I don’t really have anything to do with the day-to-day functions there. That’s Rose’s job. She’s the manager,” Rory says trying to placate this woman who seems hell-bent on taking issue with Rose’s life. Just as the last words leave his lips he sees Rose pale and her head falls just slightly.

“Really? How’d you manage that Rose? Manager…really? Well that’s…nice for you,” Jackie says in an overly sweet voice.

“Yeah, thanks mum," she says quietly, "Listen mum...um...Jon and I...we're going to be...the wedding, we'd like to do it soon. Um...do you...when do you think...did you want to be there?" Rose stutters out.

This Rose Jackie is familiar with. Stammering and stuttering, unable to get a coherent sentence out of her mouth, these are all things Jackie remembers and it’s comforting. Not comforting that her daughter is scared or reluctant to speak to her, just that she's still Rose. In there somewhere amidst this 27-year-old woman who showed up on her doorstep is her daughter.

"Rose, of course I want to be there. You're my only child, I'd not miss your wedding Love," Jackie says with surprise that she was even asked to attend.

Jon sees Rose deflate...like a balloon with a pinhole he thinks. She sags into the couch at Jackie's answer and all her breath seems to leave her. He can feel so many different emotions coming from her right now, but the most obvious is relief.

"That's," (Deep breath in, deep breath out) "That's great mum. I'm so happy you'll be able to be there. Um...Jon has...We have," she amends, "a…um...we have an apartment you could stay in. You know if you wanted to come and help with the planning and stuff. It's a long drive and uh...it would be nice ya know...to be closer. We could spend some time together and uh...get to know who we are now yeah?" she rushes out in broken speech.

“I have a job here and bills. Not everyone can find a man to take care of them ya know," Jackie says with little tact.

She's going to cry. Rose can feel the sting in her nose and eyes. She needs to leave right now. Rose does not want Jackie to see her break. She only wanted to spend some time with her mum, that's why she'd offered. She hadn't discussed it with Jon because she'd only had the thought just then, but she knows he wouldn't be upset by it and she was right. She can feel him there in the back of her head, he's curious and...nervous, but he's not upset with her.

"Mrs. Tyler...err...Jackie, sorry," Jon says, "I have...we own an apartment building. I have a flat that is coming open in a few days. The current tenants are moving out and if you'd like you could stay there. It's completely furnished, has everything you'll need...well...except your stuff. If...I'd really like it if you could come and stay for a bit. Rose will need her mum. Weddings are a big deal and uh...well...I'm not really going to be of any use or help in that area. This area though," he says gesturing to the flat, "a place to stay and your bills and what not, I'd be happy to help with that. It's the least I can do really."

He feels Rose tense, her entire body going rigid and her fear makes his stomach roil. Jon hadn't anticipated offering Jackie a place to stay or to pay her bills and such, but it's just money and he truly believes it would be good for Rose to spend time with and repair this relationship with her mum. The words were coming out of his mouth before he'd even finished forming the thoughts in his head. He thinks now maybe it wasn't the best of his ideas as he takes in the look on Jackie’s face Rose’s fear makes his stomach lurch.

She needs to leave now, right now. Rose isn't sure how much longer she'll be able to keep herself together in front of her mum. The look Jackie has on her face as Jon makes his offer...no...she needs to leave and get Jon out of here. He was trying to be kind because he loves her, wants what is best for her and Rose gets that, but he doesn't know Jackie Tyler. She won't see his offer as kind or nice or helpful. No...she'll see it as him and by association Rose...as them looking down on her. Jackie will take his kind, generous offer and make it about how Rose thinks she's better than Jackie, better than this life her mother leads. Jackie will take it as disrespectful, insulting and she needs to leave...rightfuckingnow!

“Uh…look, I’d like to stay longer but Amy has an appointment at hospital in just a bit. I’ll give you my number though so you can call yeah? And…uh…when I get the date for the wedding settled I’ll let you know,” she says standing up and moving towards Jackie. Rose wraps her arms around her mum and holds to her tightly. “I missed you mum, so much and I love you. I’ll call tonight after we get home okay?” she says, putting her number into Jackie’s mobile and vice versa.

“It was lovely to meet you Mrs. Tyler…err Jackie. Sorry, I’ll try to remember for next time,” Jon says, moving towards the door. He's worried he messed this up for Rose; she’s panicking, scared and sad. He'd thought he was doing a good thing, he really did. He loves her so much and just wants to make her happy...always. Jon thought Jackie being closer and having the ability to help with the planning would be a lovely thing for Rose, well both Rose and Jackie.

“Amy, Rory it was nice meetin’ the both of ya. Jon, ya seem wonderful. Rose got lucky,” Jackie says tersely, walking to the door to see them all out.

“Nah,” Jon says draping his arm over Rose and smiling, “I’m the lucky one.”

Once she hears the door close behind her Rose is off like a shot. She’s moving so fast Jon can hardly keep pace with her, Rory and Amy aren’t even trying. She doesn’t slow down until she reaches the car, her hand trying desperately to get the door open but it’s locked and she just wants to get away. This is not who she is anymore and she’s so fucking thankful she knows that now. She spent years thinking she was never going to be more than she was when she lived here…now though…she knows she is more. She is better than a council estate flat and a job at a local shop or the fucking butchers and she just wants to leave and never be here again and she can’t breathe and the tears are starting and she doesn’t understand why the fucking…door…won’t…open…stupid, stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN!!!

“Ahhh! I can’t even get a fucking car door open I’m so fucking stupid,” she screams, landing on her knees in front of the door. Jon is at her side and pulling her from the ground almost before she hits it. He turns her around and she burrows into his chest and breathes in his scent. He’s here…he’s real. She’ll not wake up tomorrow in a crap flat with Jimmy kicking her arse and her mum drunk and yelling at her.

“ ** _You’re real, you’re real, you’re real_** ,” over and over in his head he hears it as he watches Rose fragment in his arms. Rory runs up and opens the door. Jon lifts Rose up, gets into the car cradling her against his chest and holding her tightly in his lap.

“Shh…shh…shh. Rose I’m here; right here, it’s okay. We can go home yeah? Go back to our flat and have…I don’t know chocolate or ice cream or chocolate ice cream or chocolate and ice cream. You’re going to have to help me here Love I have no idea what girls want when they’re upset,” Jon says lightly. He feels her start to calm, her emotions coming back to only slightly manic or Rose’s baseline as he’s discovered over the last few weeks.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpers from his chest, “I’m so sorry. I…I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I just…I’m never…she’s never going to be pleased with me,” she says through tears, her voice harsh from the yelling and crying earlier.

“I don’t think that’s true Rose. 10 years is a long time and she has a lot of information to digest. You have to try and remember her last memory of you is a 17-year-old child. One who was throwing temper fits and running off with boys. It’s going to take time for her to reconcile that memory with who you are now,” he whispers in her ear, “I…I’m sorry I offered her to stay in Cardiff. I was only trying to make it easier for you to see her and thought maybe she’d…well, don’t mums want to be involved in the wedding stuff? I’m sorry, I should have talked with you first.”

The longer he speaks the calmer she becomes, until finally she’s there in his head calm…not happy…but calm. Rose crawls from his lap, sits in the seat beside him, lays her head on his shoulder and entwines their fingers. She decides to put this behind her. She can dwell on her behavior, the meeting with her mum and focus on a past she cannot change or she can continue to move forward. She sits up straighter, squares off her shoulders (Deep breath in, deep breath out) and she wipes the tears from her face. She can’t go back…she can only move forward.

Jon watches as Rose pulls all of those broken pieces back into herself. He watches as she stitches herself back together with homemade tape and bandages. He watches as she makes the conscious choice to move forward. He reminds himself that his past is14 years gone…for Rose it’s only been days. Even though Jimmy was in prison the last 5 years he continued to torture and harass her. He sent people to attack her, destroy her things and keep her in fear. She said that she wasn’t strong or brave…she was so wrong. Jon thinks she’s definitely the strongest and bravest person he’s ever met. To have lived through everything she has…alone…and to have come out the other side the beautiful, smart, caring, compassionate and loving woman that she is…he thinks she’s amazing.

“She doesn’t know who you are Rose…not this you at any rate. It’s going to take time for both of you to learn who you each are now, to get to know the people you’ve become from the people you were is all. That’s not going to happen in 3 hours. This was the first of what I hope will be many times you see your mum and hopefully each time it will get easier, more comfortable. Just…you have to give it time. Trust me; coming from someone who doesn’t have the opportunity to even have a bad day with my parents, this is a gift. You and Jackie…you have a chance at making things better and besides you’re much too stubborn and willful to allow one slightly uncomfortable visit to break you,” he says kissing her lightly on her forehead, “So what do you think…Hospital or home?”

She can feel his sadness at the loss of his parents, at the fact that he’ll never have the chance that she has now with Jackie. He’s right, this was just the first of many times she’ll see her mum now. They have time to fix things between them. His pride in her and his love for her washes through her, filling back in all the cracks and dings that happened today and she feels…better…not completely broken.

Rose rests her head back on his shoulder and places her hand over his heart, “Hospital I think. We should probably find out if I’m…well…if we’re to be parents,” she says her smile widening as his does. Joy…unfathomable bliss pulses through her when she says that.

“Right then, driver to hospital,” Jon says in a commanding tone.

Amy has been taking in everything that has happened today. She paid very close attention to what happened in the flat and even closer attention since they left. She doesn’t need a connection to know how deeply this has affected Rose. She wants to go back and slap the ever-loving shit out of Jackie Tyler! All of the lightly veiled accusations and insults that Jackie was hurling in Rose’s direction were just awful and incredibly uncalled for. It seems like each day she learns another part of just how terrible Rose’s life has been and that breaks Amy’s heart. Rose is such a loving and caring person and no one should ever treat her the way her own mother did today.

“So Rose, if you are pregnant you’ll be needing to get the wedding planned as soon as possible. I mean, I suppose you could wait until after the baby is here but why would you right?” Amy asks.

“Amy, what are you reading,” Rose asks warily.

“You were in the flat for hours. I got bored and I had to wee, so I walked over to the shop and while I was there I grabbed some magazines,” Amy says with that wicked smile of hers. She tosses a stack of magazines back to Rose. Modern Bride, Premier Bride, Wedding Style, Martha Stewart Weddings and at least another half dozen Bridal magazines land in Rose’s lap.

“Amy, I’m not…I don’t think something so extravagant is…necessary,” Rose stutters out.

Jon can feel her excitement as well as reluctance and just a small amount of annoyance…at herself. Cute, adorable really he thinks. He knows she’s warring with herself over money right now. She’s trying to keep her promise and just accept that money is part of who they are…who she is now but he can feel how irritated she is that this has come up again.

She looks over at Jon, “What…did you have any ideas for the ceremony?” she asks. Rory looks in the rear-view mirror and sees Jon pale, all the color draining from his features.

“I…uh…I want a ceremony where you’ll be there…as the bride?” he says, a question more than a statement.

“No, nope. It’s sweet and rather naïve to ask Rose, but men do not get involved in the planning of a wedding,” Rory states emphatically.

“What? Why not? I’m supposed to plan all this without his input? That seems wrong,” Rose replies.

“Listen Rose, I know you’re behind the learning curve in matters like this, so I will do my best to explain how this works from a man’s perspective,” Rory says eying her from the mirror. “Most, if not all girls spend their entire lives dreaming of the wedding. What colors, what flowers, what cake and who to invite. What dress she’s going to wear and where the wedding takes place and all the other tiny details. For guys, we just don’t care about those things. We love you. Because we love you we will wear or dance or eat or go and do whatever will make you happy. For the guy it’s not about the wedding it’s about the girl. Girls spend their lives dreaming of the wedding and all the details about it. We spend our lives dreaming about the girl. So no, it’s not wrong. Besides you’ll have Amy, Clara and Donna to help,” he smiles to her.

Jon feels her excitement spike, her anxiety and hesitancy coming back down to normal levels. “You really don’t care? I can just do whatever I want…and you’ll just be okay with it?” she asks him.

“Yes…uh huh…yep,” he says shaking his head vigorously at her, “Yes, you have complete control and final authority on all wedding…things. The only important thing to me is that you get what you want. This is the only wedding you’ll have Rose and you should have it the way you have dreamed of. As Rory said, I have the girl. Everything else is just…window dressing,” he says leaning in and kissing her.

“Okay, well first thing is to pick a date. Which means we need the results from the test,” she states cheerfully.

“We’ve been sitting in the parking lot for 20 minutes,” Amy laughs at her, “Why don’t you and Jon get the result, we’ll wait here yeah?”

“Hello, I was told to come here to get my test results,” Rose say to the receptionist.

“Name please,” states the receptionist without looking up.

“Rose Tyler,” she replies.

“One moment Miss Tyler, I’ll go and see if they’re in,” says the receptionist, walking away. Rose feels Jon grab her hand and entwine their fingers. She can feel his emotions mirroring hers, nervous, excited and just a hint of fear.

“Miss Tyler, if you’ll take a seat the doctor will be right out to go over the results with you,” the receptionist states.

Rose and Jon take their seats and neither says anything. 5 minutes pass, 10 minutes pass, at 15 minutes her anxiety is now palpable to Jon. “Rose, please try to calm down. If you’re not pregnant now…well it’s not as if we won’t keep trying is it?” he says quietly with a filthy smirk.

It helps, she giggles and her anxiety lessens. “I know…it’s just…” she starts to say but is cutoff by Jon.

“Yeah, I’m not a patient person either Rose. I’m very familiar with making a decision that I want something and wanting it right now. They’ll be out soon and then we’ll…”

“Miss Tyler, if you’ll follow me please,” a nurse says, halting Jon’s words.

The nurse leads them to an exam room, tells them to have a seat and that Dr. Waters will be in shortly. It’s only a few minutes later the doctor enters the room. “Hello Mrs.,” he checks the papers, “Miss Tyler rather. I’m Dr. Waters; it’s nice to meet you. Now I have your results here, let’s see what they have to say shall we?” Rose and Jon both nod their heads at the doctor and she grips his hand tighter. “Pregnancy is confirmed. I’d say about 12 days gone judging from the hCG levels. Congratulations Miss Tyler. You’re a mum, or will be a mum in 9-ish months,” the doctor smiles at her, “Are you the father?”

“Yes,” Jon croaks out. His voice weak and small and he’s going to cry, he can feel it coming on.

“Congratulations to you as well then young man,” the Dr. says smiling, reaching over to shake Jon’s hand.

Rose has said nothing, she’s not even sure if she can. She is overwhelmed at the excitement and happiness that Jon is feeling. It’s completely flooding her and mixing with her own and this is just…she knew she was getting the test…but… “Is it…are you sure…is there a chance its wrong?” she stutters out.

“Yes I’m sure and no, there’s no chance it’s wrong. Is this a surprise? You both seem a little shocked is the only reason I’m asking. There are options we can discuss if this is an unwanted or unplanned event. If you feel you’re not ready to…”

“What?!" Rose says loudly, "No…I mean yes it’s a surprise but a good one,” she says insistently as she smiles at the doctor.

“Good, that’s wonderful then. I’m sure it will feel much more real and exciting once the initial disbelief and shock wane a bit. Now it has your address as being in Cardiff is that right?” he asks them both.

“Yes…yep…mmhmm,” Jon replies quickly. He's in shock he thinks. He knew they hadn't used protection, knew they were coming in to get the test, knew both he and Rose wanted this result...but...it's here now...it's real now. This is actually happening, he's going to be a father and a husband. He's going to have a family...his family. Yep, he thinks to himself he's definitely in shock.

Dr. Waters pats Jon on the back and says, “Breathe son, it gets better I promise. Now we have a few things we’ll need to discuss and I’ll have Jolie make a copy of the records to take to your OBGYN. So on to the practicalities of the matter,” the doctor states as he starts rattling off information.

Once Dr. Waters finishes talking and they are given a copy of the records, Jon takes her hand and starts heading for the car. He stops just outside the doors of the building and pulls Rose into himself. He’s becoming concerned; she hasn’t said anything since she asked if the test could be wrong.

He can feel excitement and happiness, but he’s unsure if it’s coming from her or if it’s his emotions being reflected back because he is so God Damned Deliriously Bloody Ecstatic in this moment. Wife – check…well almost check, kid(s) –definite check, wonderful friends –check, good job –check, magic super-human mutant mind powers –check, now all he needs to do is get a pet of some kind and a house with a white fence and a larger vehicle and…and he’s sure there’s something he’s missing but he has 9 months to remember and right now he’s just…fucking happy.

This is real, this is real, this is real, Rose keeps telling herself. She has to because it’s incomprehensible that just 2 weeks ago her life was completely different. There is nothing left of what her life was only 2 fucking weeks ago. Her flat is gone, Jimmy is a non issue, she has no job, she has no need for a job, she has fiancé, she has money, she has opportunities, she has her mum and now she’s to be a mum as well.

Rose is starting to honestly think she’s been drugged or she’s in a coma or something severe has happened to her and this is some fiction fantasy based lie because…well she’s not supposed to have these things is she? Normal things are for other people; people who aren’t damaged goods, who aren’t trash that someone else threw away. Normal is something for other people…not the stupid, broken, estate trash Rose Tyler’s of the world.

“ ** _This is real, this is real, this is real_** ,” he hears over and over in his head. He can feel her doubt and fear taking over that place where she sits in his head. “Yes Rose, this is very real,” he smiles into the top of her head, “We’re going to be married, we’re going to be parents and we are going to have a wonderful life together Love.” Fear, doubt, uncertainty, insecurity and a whole mess of self-loathing rush through him, but before he can say anything else to her he feels…acceptance, calm, pleasure, excitement and love rush through him.

“We can only move forward yeah? Can’t go back. This is…this is Rose Tyler now…and I…we can do this,” she says the words muffled from her face buried in his chest. Jon releases her from his arms and grabs her hand.

“Let’s go home. We have a lot of planning to do,” he says pulling her to the car. “Oh for fucks sake…don’t look Rose…just turn around and…coffee…want a coffee?”

“What’s the matter? I thought you wanted to go home,” she says, trying to look around him to the car for the issue.

Jon starts weaving, blocking her view. “Trust me Rose, what’s happening in that car is not something you want to see,” he says dragging her in the opposite direction.

“Okay well…can you at least tell me why we can’t go home now,” she laughs.

“Rory and Amy are playing catch up,” he says grinning.

“Oh well…OH,” she exclaims as she finally gets what he’s saying. “Uh…can I even have coffee now? Oh God…what if I can’t have coffee now…I live on coffee Jon…it’s…I…oxygen…it’s like oxygen Jon I cannot not have coffee,” she whines and pouts.

“Don’t know Love, we’ll have to discuss all that with the doctors. Being as how most women don’t even know they’ve conceived for a month, I’m sure it’s fine for today,” he tells her pulling his phone out and sending a text to Rory letting him know they are at the shop for coffee and to text when they are ready.

“So…um…will we be staying in the flat…or are we going to get a house?” she stammers and rushes out as she takes a sip of her decaffeinated coffee and frowns at the cup.

He knows she's nervous about this, asking about money and homes and what's going to happen now. Jon understands her hesitancy in asking about leaving the flat. He's lived there for 10 years after all; of course she'd be nervous. There's no reason for her to be though, he's not attached to the flat...it's just a place and stuff. Jon thinks he wouldn't want to raise his family there...in that place. It holds memories he'd like to never have to share with his children. He wants a place that is theirs. A home that he and Rose choose together to make their life in...also there's Jack. As much as he loves his best-mate he doesn't want his children subjected to that behavior on a daily basis.

“No need to be worried Rose. These are things we need to discuss,” he grins, pulling her into his lap, “My personal preference would be to leave Jack with the flat. Find a house we both love; one that has a yard and a fence. That’s what normal people do right? Get houses with doors and windows and carpets? No strike that, I hate carpet. But…fences and yards and big cars to drive pets and kids around?”

She stands, resituates herself, straddling his lap so she can see him as they talk and she laughs at his comment. “I don’t have a clue what normal people do Jon, but I think it’s safe to say that we are not normal people and…maybe…do you think this would all be easier if we quit trying to be normal people and just you know…were us?” she asks him softly.

“Trying to figure out what’s normal is a bit stressful isn’t it? he says scrunching his face.

“I just think if we quit trying so hard for normal…because honestly…shared emotions, telepathy…none of that is ever going to be normal. So the sensible conclusion is that no matter how hard we try we’ll never be normal. We should just be us…whatever that is,” she states resolutely yet soft.

“Well that’s at least one decision made today,” he says pressing his lips to hers. “A very important one at that,” he mumbles against her mouth. Jon is just about to deepen the kiss when his phone breaks them apart. “Time to go home Rose,” he says, pulling her from the chair and heading to the car once more.

“Donna is never going to allow you to use her car again, you know that right?” Jon asks them as he gets in the car next to Rose.

“Well?” Amy asks expectantly staring at them both from the front.

“Rory, we’ll be needing the name of a good OBGYN,” Jon smiles. Rose knows how happy this has made him…she has made him and when he smiles like that…it’s everything…her whole world revolves around that smile now.

“Rose!!! You’re having a baby! A little tiny Jon or a little tiny Rose!” Amy exclaims grinning madly. Jon decides to switch spots with Amy before the car pulls out. Between weddings and babies Amy would have been turned around and squealing in his face the entire time, plus he can talk to Rory about this connection. 4 hours later Rory pulls up to the curb, parks the car and the 4 very tired travelers make their way to the flat.


	23. Chapter 23

“So, when do you want to do the wedding Rose? You only have 3 maybe 4 months before you start showing,” Amy asks as they all sag into the couch.

“I’m not sure yet,” Rose replies, “I need to call my mum. I told her I would when we got back in. Hopefully she’s calmed down enough that we can actually talk about the wedding."

“She seemed calm to me when we were there,” Rory says to the room and then stifles his words as he takes in the faces around him.

“Calm? She was absolutely not calm Rory,” Amy says shocked that was his impression of Jackie Tyler, “That woman…did you not hear the veiled accusations and the way she spoke to Rose?”

“It’s fine Amy,” Rose says, “She is who she is and honestly at this point, I’m just happy that we’re even speaking. It’s like Jon said yeah? She…we need to get to know each other now…the people we are now. 10 years is a long time. I’m going to try to call her,” she says, grabbing her phone and heading to the bedroom for privacy. As happy that she is that they are talking again, Jackie is still…well…Jackie and her friends don’t need to be privy to the conversation that’s going to occur now.

“Do you want me to come with you,” Jon asks?

“No I…its better if I…I’ll let you know if I need you okay?” Rose asks quietly.

Jon can feel her nervousness and worry about talking with Jackie again. He thinks if they are going to have any kind of relationship then talking is the first step and as hard as that will be he really believes Jackie loves her daughter. She’ll come around eventually…he hopes she will anyways. He understands how difficult it was for Rose to reach out to her mum. He has all those same memories, they are not his of course and he is not affected by them the way Rose is, but he knows what transpired between them.

“Jon, I have the name of an OBGYN for you and Rose,” Rory says bringing him from his thoughts of Jackie and Rose.

“Wonderful, thank you Rory,” Jon says with a beaming smile.

“Yeah, no problem. Her name is Dr. Martha Jones. She’s…”

“What?” Jon asks, “Did you say Martha Jones? About this high,” he says indicating with his hand, “Brown eyes, and brown hair, rather spunky?”

“Err…yes, that sounds like her,” Rory says warily, “Do you know her?”

“Yes,” Jon sighs from behind his hands that are running down his face, “I met her a few years ago. She may have…well…she may have fancied me a bit and I may not have been…receptive to her…advances,” he grimaces.

“When were you receptive to anyone’s advances,” Amy asks laughing? “It’s not as if you were awful to her were you? I mean, you didn’t like shoot her down publicly in front of her co-workers and employer, right?”

“No I…what? Amy how’d you hear about that?” Jon asks.

“Donna told us all about the French bint in your office. She really does not like that woman,” Rory says, emphasis on the word really.

“Yes well…Renee is…can be difficult. No, I did not have the same issue with Martha. I just…well I just pretended to not know what she was trying for,” he says embarrassed and just a tad guilty. He knows it wasn’t the right way to treat these women who kept flirting with him, but…well, he had no other way of going about it really.

“I’m sure she’s fine Jon,” Rory says, “After all, she’s engaged now. I’m sure she’ll be pleased as punch for you and Rose.”

“Pleased as punch? Did you accidentally land in 1950 Rory?” Amy says amused, “And FYI no girl, no matter how happy she is, wants to know that a man that wasn’t interested in her is about to marry and have babies with someone else. Our brains are not made that way and any woman who tells you differently is a liar.”

“Well it’s been a few years back now,” Jon says quietly, “I’m sure it’ll be fine and if Rose is uncomfortable with it then we’ll simply find another doctor to see. Easy peasy.”

“Okay, here’s her card” Rory says handing it to Jon, “I’ve made her first prenatal appointment for next Monday at 10:00 am.”

“So you and Rose, this connection it’s progressed again? How many times has that happened, you hearing her thoughts?” Amy asks.

“Um…maybe 3 or 4 times so far. The first time…well…I’m still unsure if it was the first time. I thought the other day that I had heard her, but…I don’t know…times all messed up,” he says shaking his head.

“You know Jon, for a scientist you don’t use very scientific or specific language,” Amy quips at him, “Could you be a little more informative in your description of times all messed up?” she laughs.

“The other night in the kitchen, before the shopping trip. You had said we were in their an hour, but it seemed like 10 minutes…maybe even less to Rose and I,” he says, “That’s happened quite a bit actually…time going all…wonky.”

“When did it start?” she asks, reaching for her notebook and pen.

“It’s been a constant since the first day,” Jon says, “I thought…well I wasn’t sure really…I thought maybe it was just normal. Thought it was just something that happens when you fall in love. I’m guessing from the expression you have that it’s not?”

“I don’t really know,” Amy says, “I think falling in love is different for everyone, but falling in love for you and Rose, that’s definitely different. Still, any information is helpful. I’ve been trying to write everything down and I’m going to see Matt tomorrow. He has a lot of information to sift through. Hopefully I’ll have more answers when I get back.”

“It’s not a bad thing that I can hear her but she can’t hear me is it? I mean all the other things…abilities rather have happened to both if us…but not this. Why do you think that is?” Jon asks, a small note of worry in his voice.

“I think,” Amy starts to say, looking around Jon to the hall. Rose hasn’t come out from the room yet and she says quietly, “I think Rose may have damaged her side of this connection Jon, when she paused it or stopped it or whatever. That’s not supposed to happen, locking one another out like that. During the first stages of the re-joining you guys were together and apart over and over. I think you’re not supposed to separate at all during that time which is why you both became so ill. It’s like you’re possessiveness yeah? It’s never gone away because when you first started the process things went bad. I think that’s just going to be part of who you and Rose are now, you’ll always feel that about her. I don’t know if Rose will be able to use telepathy at all or if it will come later. There’s a lot I don’t know that’s why I’m going to Matt’s lab tomorrow to look though his research.”

“It’s,” Jon starts to say then stops, “I…we appreciate all the time and effort you have put into this, the both of you. It’s difficult for me…not being the one with the answers to…well everything really. There have been a lot of changes in the last 2 weeks and…just thank you for everything,” he says with a small smile and quiet voice.

“Mum? Hey it’s me…It’s Rose,” she says into the phone.

“Of course it’s Rose, no one else calls me mum do they?” Jackie says laughing.

“Right, no…um…I’m…we’re home and I said I’d call,” Rose stutters out.

Jackie hates that Rose is nervous talking to her, hates hearing that quiver in her voice. She wants so badly to have her little girl back, but that little girl no longer exists. This 27-year-old woman that Jackie doesn’t even recognize has replaced her. “I’m sorry that things didn’t go better today Rose,” Jackie says honestly, “its just…well I didn’t expect to see you ever again. I thought…well doesn’t matter now. I’m just glad you came home love.”

“Did you ever even look for me mum? Did you even try to find out what happened to me? 10 years mum…10 bloody years and I never even heard from you. Why?” Rose says, surprised at her own words, this was not the conversation she’d planned on.

“Rose, I know I was a shit mum to you after Pete died,” Jackie says sadly, “I was in such a bad place and you were too young to understand then but you’re all grown up now. I’d like to chance to explain what happened back then. I’m not lookin’ to excuse my behavior. I know what happened between us was my fault, but life happens and sometimes you’re just not prepared for it. When your dad was…when he died,” she trails off and Rose hears her breathe deeply through the phone, “Listen, there’s a lot of stuff ya know, too much for the phone. How about I come to Cardiff this weekend and we can talk, really talk, okay?”

Stunned, shocked, surprised, shaken, all terms to express what Rose feels at Jackie’s request. After the way Jackie behaved in London, Rose was certain she’d never come here. “Yeah course mum,” Rose says, shock clear in her voice, “Which uh…what day did you want to come in?”

“I thought I’d come in on Friday and stay the weekend with you, if you…well if Jon doesn’t mind after I was such a twat earlier,” Jackie says embarrassed, “It was a very kind offer he made and I was not kind in the reception of it and I’m sorry about that Rose I really am. It’s just you’re so different now and I’m not sure where I fit in ya know. I mean we…you and I, we had a hard time gettin’ along before yeah? But you’re all posh now Rose, not anything like when you left and I think that just scared me a bit,” Jackie says hurriedly.

“Mum, it’s not the money that’s made me different. That’s…the money is still new to me as well,” Rose says, “There’s a lot that happened and I’m not sure…there’s just a lot to discuss mum, but we would love for you to come and stay,” she says hesitantly.

“Great, then I’ll take the train in on Friday mornin’ and if you give me your address I can catch a cab over,” Jackie says, trying to infuse her voice with enthusiasm, but mostly coming off panicked.

“No mum…I…Jon and I, we’ll pick you up at the station okay? Just um…just text me what time you’ll be in,” Rose replies in the same panicked tone, “I…I love you mum and I’ll see you this weekend yeah,” she says, disconnecting the line.

Jackie Tyler stares at the phone in her hand and is frozen in place at the amount of emotional baggage suddenly weighing down on her. “It’s moments like this that I wonder why I quit drinkin’,” she says to herself putting the phone down. Wandering into her kitchen, she starts to make herself some tea and thinks about the interactions with Jon and Rose today. He’s so much like Pete, Jackie thinks. He has that same ability to make the world disappear; make everything disappear except for him and Rose. Jackie never understood how Pete could do that with just a simple touch or a smile. No matter how awful things were in that moment, Pete could make everything better for her. She recognizes that in Jon with Rose and it’s terrifying. Loving someone that much, becoming dependent on someone else to just stay sane…it’s a hard road to walk, Jackie knows firsthand. She loves Pete that way still and he loved her that way as well. When he died, when he left Jackie alone, part of her died as well and she just couldn’t function any longer. Losing Pete had broken her and she in turn broke Rose. It’s too late now, for Jackie to intervene with Rose and Jon; they are too far-gone, too lost to each other already. The only thing she can do now is hope that Rose and Jon never have to find out what it’s like to lose the other. Jackie grabs her tea and heads off to bed wondering if she’ll ever be able to fix that part of herself that she lost. Maybe having Rose back in her life will help she thinks as she crawls into bed for the night.

Rose places her phone on the bedside table, plugs it in to charge and falls face first onto the bed. Jackie is coming to Cardiff…to talk. “Ugh…why does everything have to be so…hard,” she sighs into the pillow. She hopes this whole thing with Jackie will get easier in time like Jon said. Rose cannot imagine trying to make it through the whole weekend wound as tightly as she was in London. “Right…things to do,” she says to herself standing from the bed and walking to the large desk in the center of the room. She grabs the pen and paper and starts her lists. She has a wedding to plan…her wedding. Rose is still a little gobsmacked at how everything has played out these last few weeks. In 2 weeks she’s somehow ended up with a fiancé, a baby and her mum in her life. “It’s almost normal,” she mutters, shaking her head. She starts to write things that need to be done for the wedding and the monotony of the task allows her mind to calm just a little, enough that she doesn’t feel completely overwhelmed.

“Why don’t we head to bed? It’s been a long day and I for one am exhausted. I’m sure after the meeting with her mum Rose is wiped out as well. We’ll figure everything out in the morning. Is there any plans for tomorrow?” Rory asks.

“Not that I am aware of. I’m sure there will be wedding things and baby things and telepathy things that will need to happen, but no concrete plans that I know of…yet,” Jon says happily, making his way down the hall, “Night Amy, Rory. See you in the…well…hopefully we’ll all get to lie in, so see you sometime tomorrow.” He steps into the loo in the hall, takes a quick shower, brushes his teeth then heads to the bedroom.

When Jon steps in the door his eyes immediately search out Rose. She’s at the desk writing furiously on several different pieces of paper. Her hair is wrapped in a towel and her body in another. She’s already showered then, he thinks to himself. “Rose, what are you working on over there,” he asks curiously.

“To do lists,” she responds without looking up, “There’s one for the wedding, one for the…baby, one for this connection-thing and one for…well…my mum. She’s uh…she’ll be coming in on Friday,” Rose stammers out quickly.

“On any of those lists does it say go to bed with your adoring fiancé and leave all this for tomorrow,” he asks, leaning down and kissing her neck, “Come on Love,” he says, pulling her from the chair.

“Did…you heard me right? When I said my mum was coming in to visit?” Rose asks as he pulls her to the bed.

“Yep,” he replies, “I did invite her Rose and I do think it will be good for you. It may be easier to talk with her if you’re not surrounded by your childhood yeah?” he asks, taking the towel from her hair, tossing it on the floor. Jon pulls the covers back on the bed, pulls the towel from his body then hers and places Rose in the bed before he slides in next to her. He folds himself around her, his front pressed along her back, his arms wrapped around her and both hands laying flat against her abdomen. “Do you want to talk about it?” he whispers into her neck.

“About what?” she asks.

He laughs then says, “Whatever it is that has you wound tight as a coil. I can feel it Rose, you know I can.”

Rose turns in his arms, presses her face into his chest and inhales deeply. “It’s not any one thing,” she says softly laughing, “I mean there’s just a lot happening right now. All of it good and that in itself is…weird ya know? I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop or…I don’t know…a piano to fall from the sky and land on me or something. Jon, we’re going to be married and have a…a…baby,” she says and he is filled with a sudden possessiveness and exhilaration.

“Both very true and brilliant things,” he says quietly running his hands up and down her back causing the electricity to spark again, “Do you want a boy or a girl?” he asks hoping to get her to calm some.

“Both,” she says, and he feels her grin against his skin, “What about you? Boy or girl? How many children do you want?” He can feel her emotions calming down, settling back into the always slightly manic baseline that he’s come to know.

“I would like as many children as you’ll allow me to have,” he says laughing quietly, rolling onto his back and pulling Rose on top of him, “Both a boy and a girl would be lovely,” he says as she sits up, straddling him.

“Twins maybe?” she says quietly, grinding her wet center against his growing erection. Rose leans down and places her lips to his, the motion forcing her harder down onto him.

Jon pushes up as she pushes down and his cock starts slipping through her wet folds coating him in her slickness. “Twins…yeah? Then we could get it over with in one go,” he says hissing through his teeth, pushing into her, “You feel so good Rose, so perfect,” he groans grabbing her hips to keep her still. She is so responsive to him, he can feel her desire climbing and its causing his to do the same. Jon pulls her down so that she is lying on his chest and wraps his arms around her waist, her face buried in his neck.

Rose is trying to keep up with the conversation, she really is, but she can feel his arousal as well as hers and the overwhelming urge to move, thrust, now, now, now is too strong and she starts moving slowly over him. Small whimpers and shallow gasps leaving her throat each time he pushes up as she pushes down. It seems only moments before the urge to move harder, deeper, faster, more, more, more takes over Jon and his gentle slow pace starts to become erratic. Rose rises up from his chest and sits up straight over him forcing his movements to still. She places her fingers on his temples and focuses on how much she loves him, how happy he has made her, how happy she is with this life they are creating together and he groans as his cock twitches inside of her.

Jon rolls them so that Rose is under him and takes control. He can’t stay still, not with her pushing her emotions on him like that. The need to move, to feel her move around him is too much combined with knowing he makes her feel that way. She loves him as much as he loves her, she is his…always, she is going to have his children, the emotions dragging him under and clouding everything else except the feel of her around him as he starts to move inside of her again. Jon tries keeping his movements slow, shallow, fighting the urge to move harder, deeper and faster. Every time he touches her it’s as if he’s been set on fire. Each nerve ending in his body seems over sensitized and the electricity sparking between them only becomes more intense each time he makes love to her.

“Jon, oh God,” she says, wrapping one hand in his hair, the other digging into his shoulder with her nails pulling a throaty moan from him.

He sinks his teeth into her neck, can no longer fight off the urge to thrust harder, to claim her again and he growls into the skin of her neck that’s between his teeth. The tingling sensation starts at the base of his spine, spreads outward and he knows his climax is approaching. He knows he’s lost to it, to her…too far gone in wet and heat and sweat and electricity and love and marriage and family…his family…their family and he pushes harder, deeper faster, more, more, more…always more. Just as he feels her inner muscles start to flutter around his painfully hard cock announcing the arrival of her climax something in the connection changes again, a light flutter rushes through him. Rose clutches almost painfully to his hair and shoulder and he plunges harder into her and she cries out his name.

He pushes into her over and over as she rises up to meet each thrust grinding against him. Her inner walls clench and convulse around him as he spills into her. Jon rests his forehead to hers, still moving, grinding their bodies together and the flutter in his mind he felt earlier is back again. It’s becoming stronger with each thrust into Rose, almost painful but not quite, it feels as if someone cracked a whip inside his skull. He knows he’s babbling into her ear and her quiet noises are no longer quiet, no longer reserved as she screams over and over, profanities and his name and love and forever and never fucking stop, before she starts to calm beneath him.

Jon stays where he is, still inside of Rose, his forehead still pressed to hers, waiting for their breathing to calm. “Rose,” he says softly, “Did you feel that too?”

“Yeah,” she replies breathily, “Its changed again I think.”

“Changed how though,” he asks, moving off of her.

“mmm…no idea Love, we’ll just have to wait and see yeah? I’m sure whatever it is will be fine,” Rose says sleepily, running her hands through his hair, “Sleep now, worry later…tomorrow,” she slurs, fading into sleep.

He decides she’s right, there’s nothing that can be done tonight and whatever the change was its not noticeable now. Jon folds himself around Rose and tries to force himself to fall asleep. He really needs to get a handle on his libido; he’s painfully hard still and desperately wants to have her again. It must be the connection he thinks. He remembers Amy saying the more they made love the stronger the it would become. Jon had assumed that meant the ever-constant need to have Rose would lessen, not so much he’s discovering. He feels Rose press back against him, she whimpers just a little as her thighs press together for friction. Before he realizes what he’s doing he has one hand groping her breast and the other between her legs pressing his hand firmly as he moves it between her still soaking folds.

Jon removes his hands, turns her onto her stomach, places himself between her parted legs, raises her hips off the bed and sinks into her heat and wetness once again with a loud moan. They haven’t done this position yet, the new angle allowing him to penetrate her more deeply than any previous time. Rose moans low and throaty as he starts pulling out and pushing back into her. She rises to her knees with Jon still behind and inside of her changing the angle again, forcing that growl from his throat that she’s so fond of. She takes his hands from her hips, sets them on her stomach, covering them with her own as she continues to push herself onto him. Possessiveness floods him again, stronger than any other time and his mouth finds her neck just below her ear. It’s that spot that he keeps marking and it causes her to start writhing against him, whimpering and begging for more, harder, deeper, "fuck don’t stop!" she screams.

The more she moves, the firmer she holds his hands to her stomach over their child the stronger the possessiveness becomes in him. Jon turns her again so she’s flat on her back; he’s between her legs and above her once more taking all control from her again. He pulls her legs above his shoulders slams his cock into her again and again. Jon tries to make himself slow down; afraid his forcefulness may injure her, but he can’t. He’s too far lost in the haze of sex and love and heat and wet and Rose and “mine, mine, mine,” growled against her skin as he cums again.

Rose feels him pulsing inside of her just as she crests her own peak. There’s a twisting, pulling feeling in her chest and then a snapping and locking feeling again; harder, sharper than it was earlier. Jon pushes once more into her before he lies down on top of her fully and stills. She laughs just a little as the high wears off and her breath comes back to her. “Wow…just…Oh my God we’re getting really good at this,” she says sucking on the skin of his neck pulling another moan from him.

“Rose,” he groans out, “If you keep that up…” he trails off as he pushes into her again, “We’ll never get to sleep Love.”

“Sleeps overrated Jon,” she says, biting down on his shoulder, her hand pulling against his arse pushing him further into her.

Rory and Amy stay seated on the couch as Jon and Rose head to their room. “Ready for bed Tiger,” Amy asks running her hand through his hair.

“In a bit,” he says just as they hear the alarm for the front door, “I wanted to go over some of the stuff Jon and I covered today.”

“Hey there kiddos,” Jack says entering the room, “What’s up?”

“We were just about to discuss the connection actually,” Rory says flatly.

“Yeah, something new come up?” Jack asks, “Seriously, again? Are they going to be doing this every night?” he says in an unhappy tone waving his hand towards the hallway.

“Very likely,” Amy replies grinning, “At least until it’s complete I think.”

“What do you mean, you think? Are you saying they will always be this amorous?” he says waggling his eyebrows at her.

“Maybe,” she replies, “I honestly have no clue. I’m not even sure how long the connection will take to complete. There’s a lot I really just do not know. I’m mostly making guesses at this point, but as Jon said earlier, most of my guesses have been right. I know that Rose likely did some kind of damage to her side of it when she blocked Jon out the other night. I know that the possessiveness Jon feels will likely never go away or even diminish. In fact, now it’s more than likely it will only get stronger.”

“Why? What’s changed?” Jack asks worried, “I mean he can’t just go around growling and snarling every time someone comes near Rose. That will make life outside these walls rather difficult.”

“I didn’t say he couldn’t or wouldn’t be able to control it better, just that it will not dissipate and may get even stronger. I really don’t know. I’m going in tomorrow to speak with Matt and go over what research he has in his lab. Hopefully I’ll have more answers then,” Amy replies.

“Ok, well I guess I’ll wait until tomorrow then to ask any further questions. Are there any other plans I should know about?” he asks, slowly making his way to the hall.

“None that we are aware of,” Rory says, “But if they keep at that all night again, I imagine they will be sleeping most of the day.”

“Right…great, another night spent listening to someone else getting laid, lovely,” he replies sarcastically, “Off to bed, or at least I’m going to try and sleep. Night Kids.”

“Night Jack,” he hears in unison.

“I almost let it slip about the baby,” Amy says quietly.

“Yeah, caught that,” Rory replies, “No worries, it’s not as if they’d have been properly upset if you let the cat out of the bag My Love, now on to what I consider much more pressing topics.”

“Such as?” Amy asks.

“Such as you saying you want babies and a wedding Amy,” Rory says quietly, “That’s new information. Don’t you think we should talk about it?”

Amy shrugs her shoulders and says, “Why? I know you want to marry me. I know you want a family with me and now you know I want the same with you. What is there that needs discussing?”

“It’s just that simple?” he asks her confused.

“Yes it really is Rory,” Amy says crawling into his lap, “You love me, I love you and we’re both adults now. I was only 20 the last time we talked about marriage and kids. If you remember correctly I didn’t say it was something I would never want, just that I didn’t want it then.”

“But you want it now?” he asks running his hands up and her back under her shirt, “You’re positive it’s what you want Amy? I don’t want you doing this just for me Love. I’ll be here as long as you’ll allow me to, with or without marriage and babies Amy, you do know that right?”

Amy kisses him slow and sweet and says, “I do know that. It’s probably the reason I’m okay with marriage and babies. You have been a very patient man with me Rory and I know it hasn’t always been easy. I haven’t always made being with me easy. Now your patience is being rewarded,” she says grinding herself down on him.

Rory kisses her again, stands up wrapping her legs around his waist and heads to their room. “I have been a very good boy Amy. Very deserving of a reward,” he says kissing her neck.

“And what kind of reward did you have in mind Tiger?” Amy says, arching her neck allowing him better access.

“I’m thinking shower sex, maybe counter sex, then maybe making love to you all night in bed, thereby increasing the chances of a baby,” he mumbles into her neck, fumbling with the handle of the door.

“Oh you have got to be kidding me,” Jack yells through the wall when he hears Rory and Amy, “How is it, I am the manwhore of the group yet I’m the only one not having sex! This is so unfair,” he whines, throwing himself face first into bed.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,  
> I truly hope you're enjoying the story so far. This is just an FYI that as my daughter's wedding gets closer, I may not be able to update as often as I or you would like. This is my apology in advance. I am hoping to maintain one chapter per week, but no promises.

Knock, knock, knock. Amy stands outside Matt’s office door waiting for a response and hears nothing. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, again slightly louder and she listens again for an answer.

“Minute, just a moment, be right there,” Matt says from behind the door amid scuffling and other noises, “Amy, it’s lovely to see you again,” he says as he opens the door.

“Yeah, hey Matt. Did you have a chance to pull out your research on Twin Flames? There’s a lot going on so the sooner we get started the better,” Amy says trying to remain cordial.

“Yes, I have it all over there,” he says pointing to his desk, “But uh, well before we get started Amy, I want to apologize for the way I treated you at Jon…err…Professor Ardis’s flat. I was very much a snobbish prat and I am very sorry that I offended you.”

Amy takes a moment to eye him critically before responding. Yes, he was a twat to her and yes, it took him way too long to apologize, but she has work to get done and she needs his help. “Are you only apologizing so that you can use Jon and Rose for your research, because Jon scared you or because Clara won’t put out unless you mend fences with her friends?” Amy asks warily.

“All of the above actually,” Matt replies with a grimace, “But also because I was being a jerk. I was so excited to find a couple that was actually experiencing this that I didn’t really stop to consider they are actual people. It tends to happen with researchers, we start seeing papers and tests rather than the actual person or in this case people. I am sorry for how I treated you regardless of the above-mentioned reasons for my apology. I hope that moving forward it will not affect us working together on this because you really are the only person I know who knows as much or as close to as much as me about this phenomenon,” he says quickly.

To Amy his apology feels scripted, rehearsed…but she doesn’t have the time or the inclination to deal with that now, easier to just move on. “Its fine, we’re all difficult to deal with at times,” she says, “Just so long as it doesn’t happen again yeah. I’m all about an intelligent discussion on the topic, but I will not allow you to treat me that way again. Now with that said, what do you have for me?”

“You had said that your main concern was figuring out the rejoining process, so I’ve pulled all the information I have and sorted it into different sections. This first stack has to do with rejoining,” he says pointing to a stack of papers, “there are a few other topics, but we’ll start with that as it seems to be the most critical right now.”

Amy takes the papers and sits in one of the chairs to start looking through it. “You have a lot of information here Matt. Where’d you find all of it? How long have you been looking into this?” she asks him, stunned by the amount of papers to go through.

“Years actually,” he replies, sifting through some of the papers, “I was told the story as a small child and, I don’t know, became fascinated with it I guess. My mum and Dad, they always said they were Twin Flames…” he says sadly letting the words trail off.

“Oh, well…maybe they were,” Amy says kindly, “So, where would I start looking for a timeline of the bonding process?”

“Bonding process?” he asks.

“Oh yeah, I didn’t much care for rejoining. And I couldn’t hear ‘this connection’ one more time without screamin’. So I changed it to bonding,” she replies, “So, where would I find that information, this first stack of papers here?”

“Yes, that’s all the data I have as far as a timeline goes,” Matt says handing her the papers.

“Great, thanks. I’ll just get started then,” she says.

“Is there anything you want me to look for while you’re doing that?” Matt asks.

Amy knows he wants to help, but she’s not sure how much information Jon wants Matt to have now. He was really upset the last time Matt tried to involve himself. Though, Jon did say that Amy was in charge of the theoretical side of things and if she wanted to work with Matt she could, so maybe it would be okay. “Do you have any information on breaking the bond?” Amy asks.

“Breaking it? Why would they want to do that?” Matt responds almost incensed at the notion.

“It’s not so much that she wanted to do it, just kind of happened. Well, we think that’s what happened. Rose put herself in some kind of trance and blocked Jon from the bond. It changed after that and we’re not sure if she broke it or what. So, um…if you really want to help you can look into that for me,” Amy says without looking up from her reading.

“Sure, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything on that actually,” he says excitedly, “This could be a whole new aspect of the theory. Do you think they’d allow me to use the new information at least?” he inquires.

“I honestly couldn’t say Matt. Jon and Rose are both very kind people and I’m sure if you approach them in a different manner than before they’d be willing to help, but you have a lot of ground to cover before then. Jon was super pissed at you,” she states flatly.

“Yes, okay. I will try and fix that as well,” he sighs out, going through his research.

“Mr. Harkness,” Christian hollers from the espresso machine, “We need you out front on the register please.”

“Christian, I’ve told you several times, it’s just Jack. No need to be formal,” Jack says rounding the corner and headed to the register.

“Where’s Amy?” Christian asks, “Wasn’t she supposed to be in today?”

“Yep, but she had more important things to take care of,” Jack says, handing the customer his change.

“More important than her job?” Christian replies irritated.

“First, this isn’t her job. Amy is a friend and she is also the girlfriend of my business partner. Any time she puts in here is a gift, so watch the tone Mr. Lanes,” Jack says tersely, “Secondly, yes, what she is handling is far more important than running a cash register, besides you have me and Clara will be in soon,” he says smiling at the new manager.

As Jack continues to ring up customers and make small chat he keeps an eye on Christian, to make sure he’s settling in to his new position alright…yep that’s the reason he keeps staring at him Jack tells himself. He knows it would be a mistake to seduce his new employee, but he’s made mistakes before and somehow seems to come out just fine he thinks with a smirk as he takes another glance at Christian’s ass. Is a week too soon to start flirting, he wonders to himself? Yes, it is. Christian hasn’t even fully settled into his role as manager yet, also, Jack doesn’t really know much about him. He’s good looking, a few years younger than himself, seems good with the customers and his managerial duties…so far, but that’s about all Jack knows. Maybe he has a partner or a wife?

“Jack, I’m here,” Clara says waving her hand in front of his face, “Helloooo...Jack, anyone in there?

“Clara?” Jack says surprised to see her there, “When did you get here?”

Clara takes in the look on his face and laughs just a little before she says, “Just now Jack, where have you been?” she says following his line of vision, “Ohhhh, I see where you were. So how’s the new manager working out then?”

“He’s uh…haven’t you had the chance to work with him yet?” Jack responds with a filthy grin, not the slightest bit embarrassed he was caught staring at Christian’s ass…again.

“Yeah, he’s good. Very…professional,” Clara says taking his place at the register, “So Amy is with Matt at the University going over research, Donna is headed to Jon’s flat and has requested your presence as well. And just to be clear, request is actually code for demanded you show up.”

“Why? What’s going on? Did something happen? Is everyone ok?” he asks nervously.

“No idea, no clue, not that I’m aware of and as far as I know yes,” she responds laughing when she sees him staring at Christian again, “Ya know Jack, you could just ask him to dinner.”

“Clara, I’m not even sure he’d be into me at this point,” Jack says in a hushed tone.

“Everyone is into you Jack,” Clara replies rolling her eyes at him, “As far as I know only two people have ever turned you down and you now live with both of them.”

“I’ve never slept with you,” he replies with a smirk and a wink.

“You’ve never tried,” Clara snaps at him, “and don’t think I didn’t notice the biggest manwhore in Cardiff didn’t try and sleep with me,” she says pouting.

“This conversation has just taken a weird turn,” Jack says laughing at her, “Did you want me to come on to you Clara? That could be arranged. You’re cute; spunky…I bet you’re a wild animal in the sack. The sweet ones usually are,” he says leering at her and waggling his eyebrows.

“Too late now Harkness, I have a boyfriend remember?” Clara replies sweetly, “And yes I am,” she says, winking at him and walking over to Christian.

“Christian, tell me a bit about yourself,” Clara says as she makes her way over to him.

“Uh, okay. What do you want to know?” he asks cautiously.

“You know stuff…about you,” she responds overly sweet, “What do you like, what don’t you like, music, telly, girls, boys, relationship status…you know, stuff.”

“I don’t really feel that’s appropriate work conversation Clara,” he replies flatly.

“Correct, it is not appropriate work conversation Mr. Manager,” Clara responds with a cheeky smile, “Which is exactly why I want to know. Come on Christian, give up the deets,” she pushes.

“Deets? That’s not a real word, but okay some details about me,” he says thinking as he wipes down tables.

“These questions shouldn’t be stumpers Christian,” Clara says smiling, “Are you single?”

“Yes, recently single,” he replies with a grimace.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Clara says, “Breakups can be rough. Were you the dumper or the dumpee?”

“It was a mutual decision,” he replies, “She was moving away and neither of us wanted to do the long distance thing. Wasn’t really a huge deal, we weren’t together all that long. Lisa was a great person, just not the right person I guess.”

“Alright guys, I have to head out. Just text or call if anything comes up,” Jack says as he makes his way to the front door, “Clara, don’t be too hard on Christian, he’s still finding his feet here.”

“So Lisa was a girl then? Do you uh…do you only fancy girls Christian?” she asks hesitantly but trying for inquisitive.

“Clara, is there a particular reason you’re interrogating me on my preferences?” Christian asks her cautiously, “If there is something specific you want to know you could just ask, no need for games.”

“Do you fancy men or just women?” she asks much more confident now.

“I fancy people,” he responds, “Why?”

“Just curious is all,” she says, “We tend to be like a family here. We’re all very close and if you’re planning on staying here…well I just thought I should get to know you better yeah?”

“Okay, you know I don’t believe a word that you just said right?” he responds, “Clara, you are lovely but a horrid liar. So why don’t you just tell me what this is all about. I assume you are not hitting on me. You did say you have a boyfriend and you don’t seem to me to be the type who cheats or swings. If you wanted to get to know me you would be asking about my family, friends, prior jobs maybe my interests and hobbies, not sexual preferences.”

Damn, damn, damn, double damn! Clara thinks to herself. She knows she’s a crap liar; she usually doesn’t even try because she’s so awful at it. “Yes, right…well…” she lets the word trail off hoping he’ll just move on from the conversation. Jack will not be pleased she butted into this.

“Well, what?” he asks, “It’s alright Clara, I don’t mind you asking if that’s what worried you.”

Think Clara, think! “I…uh…no you’re right, that was inappropriate and I’m sorry to have brought it up or if I embarrassed you. Sometimes the social filter in my brain goes on the fritz,” she says smiling, trying to laugh, “I’ll just go and check the inventory. Has Jack said anything about hiring another barista to you?” she asks changing the subject.

“Jack is that you?” Donna yells from the kitchen when she hears the alarm for the front door.

“Yes Donna, Clara said you demanded my presence. So here I am my Queen, how may I service you today?” he says smirking at her.

“You can start by helping with this fry up,” Donna snaps at him, “and you can stop talkin’ to me like that. It was one time Jack, let it go already.”

“Rrrarr,” he hisses at her like a cat, “Who pissed in your Wheaties this morning? If anyone should be cranky today, it’s me,” Jack snaps back at her.

“Why’s that then?” Donna asks.

“Everyone…Everyone, even you are getting laid Donna! Somehow I went from the slut of the group to the nun of the group,” he says frowning, “With Amy and Rory in one room, Jon and Rose in the other, I haven’t even slept in several days…well not really slept. I was able to catch a few winks here and there but mostly I’m just lying in bed with a pillow covering my head waiting for the torture to stop,” he complains.

“You are utterly ridiculous Jack,” Donna says while cackling, “Poor Jon has had to endure years of either listening to you having sex or listening to you talk about having sex and your upset that you’ve had to hear it for a few weeks? Grow up Harkness. There are more important things going on than you being in a shagging slump,” she says, smacking the back of his head.

“Maybe to you, to me a shagging slump is pretty damn important,” he mutters grabbing things from the fridge for breakfast, “Where are the love birds anyways? I’d have assumed Rose would have been out here the instant she smelled coffee and bacon.”

“Which is why I haven’t started the coffee yet” Donna replies smiling. “Clara told me Jon proposed,” she says turning around and grabbing a package from the counter as well as some flowers and smiling at Jack, “I thought I’d make them breakfast in bed.”

Jack eyes Donna critically after she says that. Yes, Donna is a lovely woman and a wonderful friend and sister to Jon. Yes, she loves him completely but something is up. Donna is not the kind of person who does breakfast in bed with flowers and presents, she’s more…well…the kind to yell at you, slap you and then hug you. “Donna, what’s really going on here? When you left the other night you were spitting and hissing like a wet kitten and now…” he says, trailing off waving his hand over the elaborate breakfast and flowers.

Donna blows a deep breath out and says, “Well I had a few days to think on everything didn’t I? It’s not as if Jon or Rose did this on purpose. It was just a lot of new and quite honestly weird stuff to absorb. Once I had a moment to process everything I realized the important bit was that Jon was in love. Since I don’t understand all this mystical powers shit…” she takes another deep breath and blows it out, “I’ve decided my role will be to focus on what I do know, which is Jon,” she says presenting Jack the flowers now in a vase. “I want him to be happy, Rose makes him happy. Even with all this crazy stuff happening around them, she makes him happy Jack. So that is what I’m going to focus on because everyone else is focused on this bond thing and no one is focused on the fact that he’s happy and in love. I can do that, can be useful with that,” she says softly, cracking the eggs into the pan.

“I get it Donna,” he says, starting the coffee, “We have to figure out this new dynamic. Jon has Rose now and won’t be needing us the way he did before. I really do understand how you’re feeling right now, but you know he will always need you. It’s not as if you’re being replaced,” Jack tells her kindly, because he does understand. He just went through this himself, the whole where do I fit in now issue.

“No, yeah…I know that, I do. I’m not worried about being left out of the mix Jack. I am however concerned that so much focus is on the bond and not enough on a new relationship. They didn’t get to do this properly after all; the bond just kind of dragged them along until it pushed them over a cliff. Now that Jon has proposed, well…I think there are some things that may have been forgotten about,” Donna says hesitantly.

“Like what?” Jack asks eyeing Donna. He can tell she’s hedging about something, but what?

“Jack, has Jon ever explained to you where his money comes from?” she asks.

“No, I’ve never asked. I just assumed he inherited it,” he responds shrugging his shoulders and shoving a piece of toast in his mouth.

“Yes, he did but…” she trails off stirring the eggs with one hand and flipping sausages with the other.

“But what?” he prompts her.

“He inherited more than money Jack. I, well I didn’t see any reason to bring it up before because he was alone and I had assumed that he was going to stay alone. That however is no longer the case. Since that is no longer the case there are other concerns that now have to be dealt with,” she says cryptically.

“Donna what the hell are you talking about,” he says confused and becoming a little more than worried. It’s not like Donna to hedge about information. Donna’s all about being forthright and problem solving, so the idea that she’s being evasive is worrying him more than he’d like. They are just starting to get a handle on this bond stuff, the last thing they need is another cog thrown in to fuck shit up again.

“He’s…” Donna starts to say but is cut off by Jon’s voice.

“The last living heir to the throne of Gallifrey,” Jon says, rocking back and forth on his feet, his hands in the pockets of his dressing gown, a sad smile marring his features.

“Wha…” Jack tries to say, the toast falling from his mouth and lands on the floor, “You, you’re…what? Jon, you’re fucking royalty!? Missing fucking royalty!?” he says clearly surprised by this new information, “You’re the missing Prince? How…what…huh?”

“I’m clearly not missing Jack, I’m standing right here,” Jon scoffs at him, “There is a difference between missing and…unwilling to participate in my…heritage, birthright…whatever doesn’t matter what you call it,” he says waving off his internal thoughts.

“Again I say huh? Why didn’t you tell me? Does Rose know? Does the estate? Is that what you call it? Do they know where you are? Have they known all this time? Why haven’t they come for you? Who’s been running everything all these years?” Jack starts spewing questions forth rapidly.

“I didn’t tell you when we first met because our parents had just died. I was young and shirking my responsibilities. I didn’t tell you after that because I was broken and shirking my responsibilities. Yes, Rose knows,” he says tapping the side of his head, “I couldn’t have kept that a secret even if I’d wanted to. The bond doesn’t allow for that. Yes it’s an estate…well more than really, yes they know where I am and yes they have known all along. They haven’t come for me, as you put it, because…well I’m the boss. If I say I don’t want to then I don’t have to and I know that sounds petulant, but I was in no place to accept that responsibility,” he says shrugging his shoulders like this is no big deal. “Besides Donna’s done a wonderful job managing things and it’s not as if I’ve completely abandoned my home Jack. Donna and I discuss things that need to be handled; I meet with lawyers and accountants all the time.”

“Wait…so you’re not a prince then? If you’re the last heir to the throne that makes you…” Jack lets the words trail off a she tries to absorb this new information.

“The would be King,” Donna says quietly, “The advisors have chosen to wait on putting someone else in the position. As long as Jon continues to make the decisions that need to be made, they are willing to allow him to manage things while being away. The whole missing prince story has actually been really good for tourism” she says on a lighter note trying to ease the tension in the room.

“Let’s face it Jack, it’s 2014. It’s not as if I need to be there every second of every minute of every day to make sure things go smoothly. Phones, emails, Skype…also…well…I’d really have just been a figurehead anyways. Just like the Queen here. She’s important yeah? But it’s not as if she’s running the country is it? There’s a Prime Minister and other…people to do stuff. Really she just needs to show up and look…queenly,” he says.

“No, yeah. I just…I mean…wow. It’s not every day you find out your best friend is a Prince. And Rose, she knows? What did she say?” Jack asks.

“Coffee, coffee, coffee, is what Rose says,” she slurs, makes grasping motions with her hands.

Jon turns just as she reaches the pot and places her cup in her hand and smiles at her. She’s so adorable when she first gets up, all rumpled and pink and warm with a total inability to function. Well…she’s able to function enough to get coffee but he thinks that’s more like breathing…an autonomic function for her.

Rose takes her fist sip of coffee and her eyes close. “Oh bliss,’ she murmurs as she leans up to kiss Jon good morning. She takes her cup and moves to sit on one of the stools and looks around the kitchen. “Mmm, did you guys make brekkie? It smells lovely, but you didn’t have to cook for us. I mean I appreciate it immensely as I cannot even make toast, but really you didn’t have to, thank you though,” she says with a huge grin and eyes still heavy from sleep.

Jon stands behind her, placing his arms around her waist, his head on her shoulder and says softly, “Morning, I wasn’t expecting to see you up and about yet.”

“Nor was I,” she says smiling, “But you were upset about something and it woke me. So what’s up?”

“Err…yes. Right…well,” he stammers, standing to his full height and pulling on his wonky earlobe. “Donna came by to make us breakfast in bed to celebrate our engagement, wasn’t that nice of her,” he asks, his voice rising in pitch.

Rose leans back in her chair sipping her coffee and looks about the kitchen. She takes is the worried looks on Jack and Donna’s faces, sees the apprehensive look on Jon and feels his…worry? No it’s not worry, but it’s definitely a worry-like emotion that she’s feeling from him. After a few more moments of looking to each of them and then finishing her first cup of coffee she says, “Okay what’s going on? You’re going to have to tell me because I will need at least 2 more cups of coffee and a shower before my brain is functional enough to put it together on my own.”

No one moves or says anything. She knows whatever it is isn’t that awful. Jack seems stunned but not upset. Donna looks…well nervous actually and Jon…she’d know if he was really upset about something, he just seems…hesitant…nervous maybe? As she sits there pondering the expressions covering their faces Jon hands her a new cup of coffee.

Last night the bond changed again. Jon’s still unsure what changed, just knows it feels different. He can feel Rose still, but she’s…faint? No not faint…her presence is still strong in his head…but subtler? That makes no sense he thinks as he watches her drink her coffee. Every time she brings the cup to her lips her eyelids flutter closed and she gets the smallest, sweetest smile just at the corners of her mouth and he gets lost for a moment in how beautiful she is. He’s still amazed that she’s here with him, that she’s real and here and his. Jon shakes himself loose from his thoughts on Rose and says, “I’ve uh…Jack, he knows about Gallifrey,” he stammers.

She knew he was the heir, of course she knew. She saw it when the memory exchange happened. That was days ago now though and so much had happened since then. Jon hadn’t mentioned anything about it and she figured he would talk about it when he was ready to do so…which is apparently now. Now, when she hasn’t had enough coffee, now, in front of their friends, now when he hasn’t even properly explained to her what she knows…which is nothing other than he’s the heir to Gallifrey. Rose doesn’t even know what Gallifrey is.

“So what’s the plan for today? Anything concrete? I was thinking we could all do a picnic at the park near the shop,” Rose says, clearly sidestepping the conversation she walked in on, “That way Clara can join us.”

“Rose,” Jon starts to say in a placating tone.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “No…just…no. I know this is important, whatever this is,” she says trying to stay calm, “but a lot has happened already and any new information that I need to take in is just going to have to fucking wait okay? I’ve not had enough coffee for bad news yet, and I would just like to have a normal day outside of this flat. It’s supposed to be nice today. It’s not supposed to rain and though it’s still a little on the cool side, sun is important…you know melatonin and…stuff,” she says meekly as her eyes slide closed.

“Lovely,” Jon says softly, sliding his arms around her again, “A picnic my lady wants and a picnic she shall have. All this other stuff can fuck-off yeah?”

She deflates and sags against him slightly. He can feel she’s worried and upset through the bond but it’s not overwhelming. There’s no flood of emotions…it’s almost like when it was broken, but not. It’s odd; it seems both stronger and weaker at the same time. Hopefully Amy will have more answers when she gets back from Matt’s lab, he thinks to himself as he nuzzles into Rose’s neck.

“Thank you,” she says quietly into his chest and he feels her breathing him in again. Rose turns in his arms and looks at Jack and Donna and says, “Thank you for breakfast and thank you for not…I just need a day off yeah? Donna, I’m quite sure whatever you came to discuss is very important and I’ll not stop you from going over it with Jon but I need…I just need a break okay?”

“Yes of course,” Donna says reassuringly, “I completely understand Rose. It’s been a lot lately. How about I call Lee, maybe he can meet us there. None of you have met him yet, so he and I will be the focus of the group. Everyone will be so busy interrogating us that you may actually get a peaceful day,” she says smiling at Rose.

Rose smiles back and says, “Donna, I don’t want you to have to put Lee in that position. I know what that’s like after all, being interrogated by this group and…”

“Pish Posh,” Donna says waving away Rose’s concern with her hands, “Lee has been well informed of what these people are like and he’s well prepared for them. Besides we’ve been dating for 6 months now, it’s time he met my family. If it works out that I can take the heat off you and Jon for a day…all the better. Now, sit and eat because I don’t cook often,” she says starting to dish out the food and handing plates to Jack for serving.

“What about Lee?” they hear Rory’s scruffy voice say from behind them, “Are we finally going to meet him? I was beginning to think he was your imaginary boyfriend Donna,” he says with a cheeky smirk.

“No, not imaginary,” she says slapping the back of his head, “I just know what you people are like and I wanted to make sure he could handle it before I let you all at him you prat. And yes, you’ll be meeting him today. Rose wants to have a picnic at the park near the shop, so I’m going to have him meet up with us, but be nice!” she says in a commanding tone.

“I’m always nice…I’m Rory. My whole role and function in this weird severely codependent group is to be the nice guy,” he says offended that she thinks he would be anything but pleasant to a new person.

“Look, I’m just going to tell you all now so it doesn’t surprise you later and please tell the rest of the group before the picnic. Lee has a stuttering issue, especially when he’s nervous. Just don’t…don’t make a thing out of it okay. I really like him and I don’t want you all scarin’ him off,” she says pleadingly.

“Of course we’ll not tease him about that,” Rose says kindly.

“Not right away,” Jack says with a cheeky grin and Donna slaps him again, “Ow…do you always have to hit Donna?” he whines at her.

“Yes, yes I do have to hit. It seems the only way to get stuff to stick in those thick skulls you boys have,” Donna responds tersely, “I really…please just be kind and try to be semi-normal today. I haven’t told him anything about the bond yet. Figured mystical legends and fairy stories come to life was more of a witness in person kind of thing yeah?” she asks hesitantly.

Jon eyes Donna for a moment trying to figure out what’s really swimming around in that mess of a head on her shoulders when he hears Rose say, “So what you’re really saying is that you don’t want him to run for the hills after calling the psych squad to come get you? Because what? You think he’ll assume you’re a nutter if you tell him yeah?”

“Well…yeah. I mean, unless you witness it with your own eyes or…you’re Amy, it all seems very fantastical. Figured it would be easier to explain if he actually saw it or whatever,” she says stammering, “It’s not, you don’t mind do you? I’ll not tell him anything if you take issue with him. I wanted him to meet you guys though because he’s, he’s important to me and I don’t want to keep things from him.”

“It’s fine Donna, truly,” Jon says answering for both him and Rose, grabbing their plates and putting them in the sink.

“What time is it?” Rose asks.

“10:30 Love, “Jon says smiling.

“Great,” Rose says smiling back at him, “So I’ll shower and change for the day. It’s warmest at what time did you say Jon? 2-4 yeah?”

“Yep,” he responds still grinning. Rose is like a sponge he thinks, an intellectual sponge. She seems to absorb information easily and rapidly, she’s much more intelligent than she thinks she is. He wonders if she’d be willing to do an IQ test. Not that it really matters, but it may help with the bonding process if they knew.

“Okay so we should all meet up at say…2:30 in the park? That will give Jon and me time to get an early supper put together,” Rose asks everyone.

“Yeah, 2:30 is perfect,” Donna says, “That gives enough time to work off this giant breakfast and tell everyone what the plan is.”

“OK then, “I’ll head to the shop and tell Clara. Do you mind if I invite Christian?’ Jack asks Rose.

“No, not at all Jack,” she says with a cheeky grin, “Maybe then you can get laid and stop yelling at the walls all damn night. Rather distracting that is,” she says giggling at the look on his face as she walks out of the kitchen.

“Yeah, about that,” Jon says grinning, “It would be appreciated ever so much if you stopped doing that.” Jack sees his smile slip as he looks back at Rose entering the hall. In a very severe tone with a very powerful glare he says to Jack, “Rose has been told enough to shut her bloody fucking mouth as you put it last night. From here on out I would appreciate the same courtesy and respect that I have shown to you over the years Jack and as much as I love you and value this friendship, I will knock your teeth down your fucking throat if ever you speak to or about Rose in such a fashion again. Have I made myself clear?”

“You know, you’re really kinda scary when you want to be,” Jack says trying to lighten his friend up just a little. Yes, what he said was uncalled for, but Jon’s reaction is also a little more than what would be called for. He takes in the look on Jon’s face and realizes that was in fact not the correct response. “Yes, crystal clear Jon. I will keep my ranting and jealous bitching to myself from here on out,” he says, thinking Jon may knock his teeth down his throat anyways.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) Jon closes his eyes and tries pushing away the complete wave of protectiveness and possessiveness he’s feeling, but it’s difficult for him to hear anyone speak to or about Rose that way. “Jack, I do understand that this is new for you. It’s new for me as well but it is necessary to understand that Rose…she’s not been treated well in her life. She lacks confidence in herself and hearing you…her friend say things like that…during what should be a private moment between us, well…as you can imagine that did not go over well,” Jon says trying to calm his temper. He knows Jack didn’t mean to upset Rose, but he doesn’t care it wasn’t on purpose, just that it doesn’t happen again.

“I didn’t even realize, I’m sorry and I’ll be more careful in the future of what I say,” Jack replies trying to sound properly chastised so they can move on.

“Okay,” Donna says breaking through the tension in the room, “Now that’s been handled, I’m going to head out. I’ll see you all at the park at 2:30-ish,” she states, heading to the front door.

“Wait up Donna,” Jack hollers, hastening his steps to catch up to her, “I’ll head out with you.”

“I’ll go and get dressed and head out as well. I have some errands to run before the picnic,” Rory says as he heads to the spare room for clothes.

Jon pours himself another cup of coffee and takes a seat at the island pondering the change in the bond since last night. Rose has said nothing of it and he’s not sure if that’s good or bad. She mentioned last night that she knew it had changed and nothing since then. He starts making a list mentally of the differences he’s noticed this morning. He can still feel Rose’s emotions but they are more subtle…a lot more subtle actually. She’s not though. That spot in his head where she is always hanging out…she’s still there just as strongly as before but…different. It’s almost like a radio station that he can tune in and out of now. Maybe they’re just getting more control over it? Jon doesn’t think it’s broken again, he doesn’t feel panicked or worried about it…just different.

His mind starts drifting on how to explain Gallifrey to Rose. He doesn’t know how much information she retained when the memory exchange happened. Jon has an eidetic memory so he can remember everything that he was shown, but Rose doesn’t have that ability. She is pretty smart…smart as a whip actually. Had she been given proper schooling…well…who knows what she could have been? He needs to talk to her about Gallifrey; he does know that.

She’s pregnant and there is no avoiding what’s to come now. Avoiding and shirking his responsibilities was one thing when he was the last heir, but he’s not anymore. Boy or girl, twins or triplets, doesn’t matter; he’s not the last of his family now. Jon has to make a decision to either walk away completely before the advisors find out Rose is pregnant or explain to Rose what the future holds for their family. “Not today though,” he mumbles to himself as he stands from the counter and makes new coffee for Rose, “Today we have a picnic and act like normal everyday people,” he says as Rose walks back in the kitchen.

Rose turns the water on and climbs into the shower. She adores this shower. Next to Jon it’s her favorite thing in the flat. She leans her head against the wall and places both her hands over her stomach. It’s only now really settling in her that she’s going to be a mum. It’s fantastic and scary and wonderful and scary and beautiful and…scary, she thinks as she runs her hand over her still very flat tummy. As the water falls over her she thinks about the bond. It’s definitely different…again. Better now she thinks and she hopes it stays like this rather than reverting again. This is nice, pleasant even she thinks. Jon’s still there and she can still tell what he’s feeling, but it’s not painful or blinding, almost like when she shut him out but not. This…if the bond stays like this Rose thinks she can manage it. It was starting to really freak her out before. She was terrified really that it would always be overwhelming for her, that she’s just not intelligent enough to handle something so complex or that her brain was too damaged to…change or assimilate the information. Her thoughts turn to Jon as she starts washing her hair. It’s quite obvious even without the bond that there are issues that need to be discussed about whatever Gallifrey is. She assumes it’s a family business, assumes that’s where Jon’s money came from and he’s just apprehensive due to the memories it will bring up for him.

Memories…she should know what Gallifrey is. That information was given to her when they shared memories, she tries to conjure it from wherever it is in her brain…but it’s fuzzy. She knows she could just ask Jon, knows he would tell her. In fact she can feel it, the need he has to give her the information. She just doesn’t want to do it today. This has been a lot for her, the last few days in particular. She was in a coma, now has her mum back in her life, has become engaged and found out they are to be parents. “Yep, that’s a lot,” she says to herself as she rinses her hair, “and that’s not even counting the bond and all the changing aspects with it,” she sighs out as she turns the water off and grabs a towel.

Rose walks into the room and grabs a pair of knickers, socks and her bra. She grabs a pair of jeans from her new dresser and pulls one of Jon’s shirts from his dresser. It’s not necessary anymore for her to wear them, but…well…she really, really enjoys the look Jon gets when she does. She tosses everything into a pile on the bed and starts dressing. Once that’s finished she heads back to the bathroom, dries, brushes, and pulls her hair up, throws on some light make-up and brushes her teeth before heading back out to the kitchen. She decides everything else can wait until tonight at least. Rose is fairly certain the Scooby Gang will be in full force at the flat once the picnic is over. Each person is chomping at the bit for new information and what’s happening now with the bond and the wedding and the…baby. A rush of excitement flows through her as she remembers tomorrow is her first pre-natal appointment. She steps into the kitchen just as Jon turns to her with a huge smile handing her a cup of coffee.

“You’re going to spoil me,” she says taking the cup and smiling back at him.

“Oh yes,” he readily agrees, pulling her to him and wrapping his form around hers. “Rose, I only have 50, if I’m incredibly lucky 60 years left to show you how much I love you. So you will just have to get used to being spoiled now,” he says quietly against her ear, his warm breath ghosting over her neck.

“60 years is a long time Jon,” she says in a breathy voice.

She feels Jon wrap his arms just a little tighter around her before he murmurs into the skin of her neck, “1000 lifetimes will never be enough Rose. So yes, I will spoil you every second that I have left to do so, and you can argue all you like,” he says, kissing the column of her neck, scraping his teeth along the sensitive skin.

Rose arches her neck back allowing him access to more skin while pushing her body fully against his. She’s waiting, bracing herself for the overpowering flood of lust and love and heat and light…but it doesn’t happen. Oh she feels lust, love and Jon and heat, but not like before. “Where’d everyone go?” she asks as he continues to lavish attention at that spot that has her melting against him already.

“Gone…all gone,” he mumbles breathily against her skin, his hand already unclasping her bra underneath her shirt. The bond itself may have calmed, no longer overwhelming him and pummeling him with her emotions, but his need for her, the constant need to touch Rose and have her all of the time; that has not gone away at all, he thinks as he removes her shirt and he bra. “You’re so beautiful Rose,” he says as his hand moves the button of her jeans. He’s so thankful right now that he hadn’t gotten dressed yet he thinks as he moves down her body taking one of her already pert nipples into his mouth. She gasps and tangles her fingers into his hair, as his tongue moves over her breast and his hands drag her jeans and knickers down her legs.

Jon slants his mouth back over hers and groans deep and throaty as her tongue starts to chase his. He grabs a hold of Rose just under her incredibly perfect arse and lifts her to sit on the island without breaking from the kiss. This places her high enough that he can finish undressing her without having to stop touching her, because that…stopping…not an option. His hands pull of her shoes then socks and finally her jeans and knickers before he undoes his robe and lets it drop to the floor. He wraps his arms back around her and gently starts running his hands along her spine, and Rose moans into his mouth at his touch.

He starts making his way down her neck and across her breasts again, taking each nipple into his mouth while tweaking the opposite at the same time. He pulls her body the edge of the island and fits himself between her parted thighs as his hand travels down the front of her body making contact with her already damp curls and he groans. The thought that she is so wet for him already, causes his already hardened length to weep fluid from the tip. That ever present urge to take her, have her, claim her, presses on him and he tries to resist it. This is the first time he’s touched her that he can actually focus on it, and he doesn’t know if he’ll have this opportunity again or if the bond will revert. Jon’s fingers start sliding through her folds and she gasps and whimpers as she lays flat on her back, unable to stay sitting up when he’s touching her like that.

Jon leaves a trail of sloppy wetness from his mouth down her body until he reaches her stomach; there he lays an entirely different kinds kiss. Reverent and soft, he moves his lips across the place where she holds their child and he’s overcome with emotion once again. He forces the sentimentality aside, later he can thank her later for that he thinks and he raises his eyes to her. He almost cums right then. The erotic vision of Rose naked, splayed open before him and writhing against his hand, breathy moans and gasps of pleasure leaving her lips, it’s too much for him. Jon closes his eyes and brings his mouth down on her warm, wet center, pushing his tongue into her as far as it will go and she keens louder. Her hands immediately seek purchase in his hair and pulling his face into her deeper.

He places one hand on each of her thighs and spreads them apart as far as he can while running his hands along the smooth expanse of skin. Jon moves his mouth up to her clit and presses the flat of his tongue down just as he sinks his two middle digits into her core. Rose raises her hips from the island, grinding herself against his face and fingers. He’s not sure he’s ever tasted anything like this. Rose is sweet and tart and just…fuck he could do this forever he thinks. It’s only a moment after that he feels her muscles start to flutter around his fingers and her hands grab either side of the island. “Jon, Oh God Jon,” she whines out as she pushes and grinds against his face. He’s pretty certain if she doesn’t finish cumming soon he’s going to.

Physics, statistical analysis, constellations, the fucking alphabet…Jon’s trying to think of anything but cumming right now. He starts counting backward from 987 and just as he reaches 976 Rose’s body becomes completely rigid and she wails out her release in a long moan. Jon doesn’t remove his hand or stop his ministrations, but starts slowly kissing his way back up her body. When he reaches her neck he sucks hard on that spot just under her ear marking her again. He’s just about to slide his weeping, hard as steel erection into her when she moves quickly and reverses their positions. It takes him a second to realize that she’s moved because he’s so far gone into the lust and heat and wet and Rose and now, now, now, rightfuckingnow, mine, mine, mine. However, before he can ask what’s happening or even clear his brain long enough to process the movement, Rose is on her knees in front of him wrapping her lips around his cock.

The moment her mouth closes over him he almost drops to the floor. He’s only had this done one other time and that was years ago. Jon may have had a lot of sex when he was younger, but he was young…as such, so were the girls he was with. He never asked them to do this and they never offered. It was only that one time, with Harry and he hadn’t asked then either, Harry just did it, much like now. Rose moves her tongue over the tip of his cock and pushes against the opening lightly before she uses the flat of her tongue to coat him with saliva. Jon’s hands move to the edge of the island trying not to fall over as she tortures him with tongue and teeth and lips.

He’s trying to focus on counting, doesn’t want to cum down her throat…well okay he does, but doesn’t think that’s proper etiquette for the first time she’s done this to him. The memory of what Jimmy said that day in prison flashes quickly through his mind helping to stave off his encroaching release. “Rose, please, I,” he starts to say but the words become lodged in his throat when he feels her mouth release his cock and wrap about one of his balls sucking it into her mouth while her hand continues stroking his shaft. Jon’s hand moves to the back of her head and he tries not to grab her hair and thrust into her hand, but it’s a brutally failed attempt. His hand grabs a fistful of her hair just as she brings her mouth back to his cock and he starts thrusting his hips fucking her mouth, pushing himself into her as far as her throat will allow. He hears the noises she’s making which are causing vibrations to run along his cock. Jon had his eyes closed this whole time, trying to focus on not cumming, trying to maintain control. He opens his eyes and sees Rose. First he sees how his cock moves into and out of her mouth. “Fuck, Rose,’ he moans low and throaty at the sight, but what his vision catches next leaves no hope for prolonging this any further. As he looks down and takes in the sight of Rose running her tongue against his cock, one hand cupping his balls and the other rubbing furious circles on her clit, he knows it’s too late now, that last image will be his undoing as his eyes slam closed again.

Rose knows he’s close. She can feel how close he is through the bond. She also knows he’s just about to pull back from her, can feel his hesitation. Just as he starts to pull back she places both her hands on his hips to hold him still and wraps her lips back around his cock taking him as deeply into her throat as she can. Jon thrusts once, twice into her mouth before he cums with a deep groan, his hands fisted into her hair to keep her from moving anymore. Rose swallows everything down and just as she’s about to get up from the floor Jon falls to his knees and kisses her. His tongue swiping along hers and he groans again, tasting himself in her mouth. He covers her body with his lowering her to the floor and thrusts into her hot, wet channel in one swift stroke pulling a throaty moan from Rose that he swallows with his mouth.

He can hear her in his head again. “ **I love you, I love you I love you,** ” over and over he hears it. Jon moves his mouth to her ear and says, “I love you too Rose, so fucking much. You feel so good, God…oh fuck Rose I’m…” he doesn’t get to finish what he was going to say. He feels her muscles clench around him repeatedly and she wails her climax into the room around them as she thrashes beneath him. One hand is raking nails down his back while the other is slapping at the tile of the floor, he pushes into her one more time, long and slow and deep and he cums, spilling himself inside of her while saying over and over that he loves her.

It takes a bit of time for the rush to wear off and their breathing to stabilize before either can attempt to move. Jon reaches above her head and grabs his dressing gown, sliding it under them both before he pulls out of her and tries to stand. His legs feel like they are made of Jell-O and his knees wobble slightly as he grabs the island to keep himself upright. “That was…” he trails off, offering his hand to her and pulling her from the floor. He immediately wraps his form around hers, “That was intense, but a different intense than before yeah?” he asks kissing her neck lightly.

“Yes, but a very good different,” she says back softly enjoying his attentions.

He knows that if he keeps kissing her and touching her he’ll have her again. It happens every time they make love. One round never seems to be enough for him or her but they have supper to prepare and friends to meet so he pulls back from her slowly. A thought flutters through his head that he should tell her it’s unnecessary for her to reciprocate…certain things, but he doesn’t say it. She told him when this all started that she would tell him to stop if she was uncomfortable and he has to trust that she will, so he doesn’t say it. “Okay, if we and by we, I mean you,” he says grinning filthily at her, “don’t put clothes on, we will never leave the flat today. Which for the record, I would be perfectly fine with, but you said picnic and so a picnic today it shall be.”

Rose pulls fully away from him, starts gathering her clothes and says, “Yes, picnic and sunshine and friends and normalcy. However, tonight…no friends, no picnics, no sunshine and a lot of what we just did yeah?” She smiles at him then, that fucking tongue poking out through her teeth and looking at him through her lashes…still naked and flushed from her orgasm and he reaches for her again. Rose giggles as she moves away from him into the living room to dress, “You should go put clothes on too, not sure how comfortable I am you leaving the flat dressed like that,” she says waving her hand over his still naked body.

“Oh, right, clothes. Yep, I’ll just go and do that then,” he says still frozen in place watching Rose glide through the flat naked, “Just as soon as this show is over. We most definitely need our own flat Rose…soon,” he says making his way to their room for clothes.

“How soon?” she asks from the end of the hall and he can feel her excitement ramping up.

“Have the OBGYN tomorrow, then the attorneys are coming in on Tuesday to go over the foundation information. Wednesday we have a meeting with an advisor at the University about getting you enrolled, if that’s something you still want to do,” he says his voice muffled from the shirt he’s pulling on, “Thursday though, I do believe we have no plans that day,” he says as he rounds the corner back into the living room.

“How about uh…well what if we start looking on Saturday?” she offers without looking at him.

“Your mum will be in on…” he lets the sentence trail off as he feels her anxiety spike, “Ah, a perfect distraction for my soon to be mother in law, helping us pick a home.” Jon moves to Rose and folds himself around her. “Rose Tyler,” he says softly with just a touch of awe, “Have I told you today how brilliant you are?”

“Not today, I don’t think,” she says blushing at his praise.

“Well, you are. Brilliant and beautiful and mine. The first two are wonderful but the last bits my favorite,” he says happily, kissing her small and sweet and perfect. It’s always perfect she thinks as he releases her to put on his chucks. “Right, all dressed. Is this more acceptable?” he says jokingly.

Rose takes in Jon’s lean and lanky form clad in jeans and his favorite Beatles t-shirt. “Perfect,” she says breathless, because he is. Perfect in every way, perfectly perfect for her and she reaches for his hand to head out for the day.


	25. Chapter 25

“Really Rose, it was a lovely idea,” Donna says as they all enter the flat, “It’s not as if you can control the weather.”

“I know,” Rose sighs, heading to the sofa, “I just really wanted something normal for a bit. It’s been so crazy for everyone lately, normal just sounded…nice I guess.”

“We could ppput everything out here and have a pppicnic inssside,” suggests Lee happily, “I know it’s not the pppark but it’s ssstill a pppicnic.”

“That’s a wonderful idea Lee,” Donna says, gently rubbing his arm, “besides I’m starved and we have all the food prepared already. Jon, why don’t you start a fire? Rory, Jack, you two lay out the blanket and stuff.”

The group disperses and goes about setting up the picnic, each taking on some task to speed the process. A hungry Donna is a cranky Donna and no one wants that. As everyone takes their spot on the floor and starts to load up their plates, Rose decides this is still fairly normal and rather than being put out that her plans were thwarted by rain, she’ll take this small moment of respite and be happy with it. All of her friends seem happy, she has Jon and it’s almost completely normal right now. Rose looks about the group and realizes they are only in this situation because of her; well…her and Jon…okay…her and Jon and the bond…mostly the bond. Still, if it wasn’t for her they wouldn’t all be in this mess, she thinks to herself sadly.

Jon knows she’s being a bit maudlin. He can feel her just a bit saddened and slightly irritated with herself, but decides to not say anything to her. He has to learn when to use the bond and when to just let some things go. It would be unfair to Rose to not allow her to have any thoughts that he doesn’t immediately question her about. She doesn’t do that to him after all. Jon wonders about that for just a moment, is it that she’s allowing him space and privacy to work out his own thoughts or is it that she doesn’t feel his emotions as strongly as he can feel hers? Jon lets his eyes wander the group before him and realizes they are all paired off now; Rory and Amy, Matt and Clara, Lee and Donna, Jack and Christian then him and Rose. For the first time in so many years he’s happy, truly happy and it’s not just him. As he looks to his friends he realizes they are all smiling and laughing, joking with each other and teasing the newbie’s to the group. This is his life now he thinks, he smiles and pulls Rose just a touch closer to him.

“Right then,” Rose says standing and grabbing empty plates, “everyone’s here, might as well get started yeah? We have a bit to get covered, so who wants to go first?”

“Matt and I found some stuff out today,” Amy says, helping with clean up, “We could start there I guess.”

“Lovely, what have you found?” Jon asks.

“Go ahead Matt; I’m going to get the mess picked up. Rose you should sit with Jon and listen too, I can handle dishes all by myself,” Amy says, gently pushing Rose back towards their circle of friends.

Matt stands and clears his throat, “So, we have discovered the rejoi…err…bonding process takes about a full month to complete. Now, keep in mind these are estimates not hard time frames. Amy did find a very minimal amount of information regarding breaking the bond, but well, it wasn’t good. What she was able to cobble together basically stated that a broken bond would drive you both insane. We of course cannot be sure of anything and that would be unethical to test, as is much of what we found. So really it’s all just educated guessing at this point,” Matt says rather sheepishly with his hands flailing about in the air.

“All nnnew ssscientific fffindings ssstarted with an educated guess Mmmat,” Lee says smiling.

“Lee, what do you do for a living? Donna never said,” Rose asks.

“Oh, I’m a ppprofessor of theoretical mmmaths at the University sssometimes. It’s really more of a pppart tttime gig. Mmmostly I write. Being a ppprofessor is alright most of the tttime, but it can be a bit…well…bbboring I suppose,” he responds.

“Yes, it’s definitely boring,” Jon says, “but every now and again you find a student that surprises you and that makes the boring parts worth it…well mostly worth it,” he says laughing.

“What do you write Lee? Is it mostly articles for journals and stuff or books?” Clara asks.

Lee feels 9 pairs of eyes bore down on him as he hesitates to answer, “Uh, mmostly I write uh, romantic nnovels,” he says quietly, feeling the flush of embarrassment rise in his cheeks.

“Like Danielle Steel type novels?” Amy asks with a huge grin.

“Yes,” Lee says, “Just like that, only bbbetter…at least I hope they are bbbetter. It pays the bills anyways and allows for a bit of fffreedom with the University. I ddon’t have the need to work at all really but still, theoretical mmmaths…that would drive me bbbarmy if I never talked about it. All that junk clogging up my creative ffflow, just wouldn’t work.”

“Okay back to what we found out today,” Amy says. “If the information Matt and I put together is accurate then you should only have about a week left before the bonding is complete. The issue there is, well we don’t really know when it started.”

“What? We know when Rose and I first went out together. Isn’t that when this whole thing started?” Jon asks confused.

“No, not exactly. This is where it gets confusing,” Amy says nodding in Matt’s direction.

“Oh right, my turn,” he says happily, bouncing around the living room, “From what we know this started the first time you saw each other. Do you remember telling us about the electrical current you both felt, starting what…over 3 years ago now?”

“Yes,” Jon says, “But that was…if it started then…wait, shouldn’t we have been able to feel or tell that something was happening?”

“You did though Jon. Both of you felt it and ignored it. That’s the issue,” Amy says softly, “There is nothing that we could find about that, so we are just assuming the actual bonding process didn’t start until you two had sex the first time.”

“Moving on,” Rose sighs. There’s been enough open discussion about their sex life to last forever.

“This is taking too long,” Christian says to the group, “Why don’t you impart all of the information and we’ll ask the necessary questions after. There is bound to be a repeat of information and we are all going to have questions, so if you just spit it all out we can get to the questions portion after. Otherwise we will be here all night and I…we have plans,” he says gesturing to Jack with a filthy smile.

“Yep, move this along people,” Jack says excitedly.

“Basically it breaks down like this,” Amy says, “The electrical current initiates the bond between two flames once they find each other. The bond does not become activated until intercourse occurs…we think. After that there will be glimpses of what a bonded life could be like. You two have already had that, the shared vision thing. There will be sharing of emotions and shared memories. This is so that trust can be built between the flames. You have already done that as well. The best Matt and I can come up with as a reason for the coma is that there was a resistance to accept the bond, but because you had already slept together it was too late. So basically your brains took over and knocked you both out until it could ensure completion. Now, the overwhelming emotions that you were both feeling should be dying down some if not completely. By the end of the week the bond should be complete if our timetable is accurate. Once it’s done you should be able to turn it off and on like a switch. It won’t be there all of the time and it won’t be overwhelming. Jon can already hear Rose’s thoughts occasionally and we assume,” she says waggling her finger between herself and Matt, “that will be a more common occurrence with time. Rose, we are not sure if you will ever be able to use telepathy because of shutting your half of the bond down. Jon, you will be eternally fighting that possessiveness you feel for Rose. Having so many bad things happen during the process, well…it’s not supposed to happen like that,” she says as Matt stand ups and takes over talking.

“The bonding process was considered sacred by those who believed in this. Once the flames were recognized they would be shuffled off somewhere peaceful and they would spend the next 6 weeks being catered to basically. That however was not the case with the two of you, so there will be repercussions from that. That brings us up to current with the progress of the bond. There are some other…things you should be aware of though,” Matt finishes hesitantly.

“Bad things?” Donna asks worried.

“Bad and good are relative terms. I prefer to think of these things merely as aspects of the bond,” Matt states very matter of fact, “For the next year or so you will both find it difficult to be apart from each other. Think of it as a honeymoon phase if you will. I don’t believe you will get the overwhelming sickness if you’re apart from each other for too long but you will be anxious and well…crabby, maybe feel a little sick, like you have a mild flu. However, there is a bigger issue than the sickness, which as I said, if you have at all should be mild. Should either one of you decide to leave the other, permanently, that would be…bad. We found only a few references to that happening but each gave the same information. Basically imagine the worst version of yourself that you can and assume that is what you will become should one of you leave the other. To be clear on this,” he pauses to make sure he has both Jon and Rose’s full attention, “It won’t matter which of you chooses to leave, and the end result will be the same for both. It’s necessary that you understand the implications of that. The bond does not make you impervious to relationship struggles or disagreements; it does not allow you to escape the pitfalls of what every other couple goes through. Once it’s complete you will be able to tune in and out of it at will and either one of you should have the option to allow or not allow the other person in. Think of it as knocking on a locked door. If the person behind the door wants company they will open the door, if not…well they won’t, simple as that,” he says sitting back down next to Clara.

“So basically,” Jack says from his spot next to Christian, “Jon’s going to need to be watchful of his possessiveness, Rose may never use telepathy, Jon’s use of telepathy will increase through time and they can never leave one another,” he states summing up the information.

“Yes, on a very basic level that is an accurate summation,” states Matt.

“All we can do is wait and see what happens with the bond then. Who’s next?” Jack asks.

Jon leans into Rose and whispers to her, “Did you want to tell them about the baby?” She closes her eyes and just nods her response to him. “Rose is,” he starts to say then stops and clears his throat, “Rose and I are…well she is…” he stumbles over the words.

“I’m pregnant,” Rose says quietly.

The entire room freezes, no one says anything and they all look to Rose and Jon. “Like a baby? You’re going to have a baby? A little tiny baby?” Clara asks, becoming increasingly excited with each phrase, “I’m going to be Auntie Clara? OH MY GOD!” she screams, “This is wonderful news. How long have you known? Have you picked out names? Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl? Which do you want? Oh this is so wonderful, I’m so happy right now,” she coos as Matt tries to wrangle her back down.

“We don’t know anything yet Clara. We have our first appointment tomorrow with the OBGYN and we’ll have no real information then either. She’s only 2 weeks along, that’s too soon to know anything other than she is definitely pregnant,” Jon says. He can feel Rose’s stress level amping up and looks over to her. She’s looking right at Donna who is looking back at him and then to Rose with a very unhappy look about her face…yes she is most assuredly bothered. “Also on Saturday we will be house hunting with Rose’s mum, who will be here Friday by the way,” he says not looking at Donna. He knows why she’s upset and it’s not that Rose is pregnant. Donna knows he still hasn’t told Rose about Gallifrey; what it means for her or their children and she is not pleased with that.

“Jon, may I speak with you a moment…privately?” Donna says, trying to hide her irritation at his foolish immature behavior. How could he knock her up without telling her everything? How could he be so careless and callous, not only with Rose but with their children’s future? “Now,” she says standing up and putting an end to his lack of response.

“Yeah, alright,” Jon sighs, heading towards the front door following Donna into the hall.

“What the hell were you thinking Jon?!” Donna demands as soon as the door is closed, “Do you have any idea what this means? Of course you do,” she hisses at him rolling her eyes, “Are you going to tell Rose what this means? She has a right to know. You cannot just…”

“I know Donna,” he says interrupting her fit, running his hands down his face muffling his voice, “It’s not as if this was intentional. I’ll explain it to her tonight. You’re making this out to be a much bigger deal than it really is. I’ll explain it to her, we’ll discuss options and once we decide what to do…together, I’ll inform you of the decision. You will then take that decision to the advisers and we’ll move forward from there,” Jon says shrugging his shoulders as if this really isn’t a big deal.

“How come she doesn’t know? I mean I thought you guys did some spooky mind meld thing that showed each other everything? So how could she not know?” Donna asks worried again.

“She knows about Gallifrey. Well…she knows I’m the heir to Gallifrey but I’m fairly certain she doesn’t remember what Gallifrey is,” Jon explains, “Not to worry Donna, it will be fine. I’ll present her with the options and really, I’ll go along with whatever she decides is best. I’ll not be bothered either way. I haven’t been to Gallifrey in years; even before our parents died we weren’t there often. If she chooses to never go there fine, if she wants to go there…well I’m okay with that too.”

“But you are going to tell her tonight right? I mean, there really isn’t a lot of time to make a decision Jon. You cannot put this off,” Donna states firmly.

“Yes, as soon as everyone leaves I’ll discuss it with her. I’ll not be putting her on the spot in front of everyone, especially strangers. This is in fact a private conversation, no one but you and Jack know about my…heritage,” he stutters out, “and until Rose makes a decision either way, no one else needs to know. If she chooses to keep things status quo, then no one else needs to know ever. I don’t want all of our friends looking at us differently Donna. Can you understand that?” he pleads with her to keep her silence.

“Yeah, fine Jon, but if you don’t tell her tonight…I’ll tell her tomorrow. She needs to know and more than that she deserves to know,” Donna says softly, walking back in, Jon following right behind.

“wedding before the baby gets here?” is the first thing Jon hears when he reenters the room. He knows its Clara, of course. The whole wedding, baby thing has her reacting like a 3 year old that had a full bag of sugar poured down her throat.

“Yes, as far as I know the plan is to have the wedding soon, before I start showing hopefully,” Rose says with quiet excitement. That feeling rushes through Jon and he cannot help the smile that forms. It’s amazing to him that anyone would want him at all much less want to marry him. Rose does though and that’s…well it’s just everything.

“Have you decided on anything yet?” Clara asks excitedly, “Colors or the venue? Do you know what kind of wedding you want to have? Big or small? Oh Rose, there’s so much to do, especially if it needs to happen in the next 3 months,” she coos.

“Uh, well…we haven’t really discussed specifics yet Clara,” Rose says nervously, “To be honest I um…well I’d never thought I’d be getting married. I don’t have any idea what kind of wedding it should be…” she says trailing off quietly.

“Didn’t you ever dream about getting married when you were younger? Don’t all girls do that?” Clara asks, “I mean I understand not everyone has a book like I do with all the ideas I’ve had over the years but certainly there was a time when you had dreams of getting married Rose,” she states happily.

“Not every little girl grows up thinking about being a wife and a mother Clara,” Amy says a little harshly. She can see Rose faltering under Clara’s enthusiasm, knows Rose never had dreams of a wedding and babies and such and she doesn’t need to be a mind reader to see the distress it’s causing. “Besides, Rose just got her mum back in her life. I’m sure once Jackie gets here this weekend the planning will take off,” she says, watching Jon make his way over to Rose and whisper in her ear. Amy cannot hear what he’s saying of course, but she can tell they need some privacy for whatever it is. “Alright everyone, if we’re done with the dissemination of information for the night, I think we should all head home, or wherever it is we are all going for the evening. Rory and I are going to head home for tonight if you guys don’t see any reason for us to stick around,” she says to Jon and Rose.

“Nope,” Jon responds, “everything seems to be fine medically and if something comes up you two are just a call away.”

“Great, come on Tiger let’s head out,” Amy says pulling Rory from the floor.

“Yeah, Lee and I are going as well I think,” Donna says, “but if anything happens you’ll ring me right?”

“Yes, Donna, of course. Go have a good time. Lee it was lovely finally meeting you, hopefully next time there will be less stuff and we can actually get to know you a bit,” Jon says shaking his hand. “Matt,” he says simply nodding his head in Matt’s direction as acknowledgement. “Clara, I’m sure Rose would love to see your wedding planning…book, if you’re willing to share. It could be a great use right now as we have a limited amount of time as you stated. Christian, it was lovely to see you again,” he finishes with a smile.

“We’re not leaving. I think we’re crashing here tonight,” Jack states, gesturing to Christian.

“Right…what’s going on then?” Rose asks Jon as soon as everyone leaves.

“Explain, acknowledge, accept and move on yeah? I cannot acknowledge or accept until you explain Jon,” she says reassuringly.

“Okay yes, here goes. Gallifrey, what do you remember from the memories that we shared?” he asks her.

“Just that you’re the heir to it,” Rose states, “I assumed it was a family business or something and that you’d talk about it when necessary. I mean we’ve had a lot going on, figured if it was important you’d get around to it,” she says shrugging her shoulders.

“Well…it’s not a family business per se. Rose, I’m…listen I’m just going to say this and then you can ask questions alright?” he says entwining their fingers. She simply nods in response and waits for him to continue.

“Is this something I should leave for?” Christian asks taking in the grim look on Jon’s face.

“No, it’s fine. Jack will just tell you anyways, he’s chatty after sex,” Jon says dismissively. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Rose, Gallifrey is not a family business, it is my family. It is a small; very small mind you, country. It’s about the size of Belgium and has a population of about 8 million. Really it’s very small; London has about the same population as the whole country. But uh…well…how do I put this? My parents were the…uh…King and Queen of Gallifrey. My family has been the ruling monarchy since it was formed. When my parents died, well they only had me…so…” Jon trails off without finishing the sentence.

He sees the implications dawning on her face, sees the information register in her brain, feels her anxiety levels increase significantly before she says, “So…you’re a King? Is that what you’re telling me right now? You…you’re to be the ruler of an entire country?” She’s trying not to become hysterical, she really, really is, but it’s not working. Her breathing is becoming labored and she can feel the sweat starting to form on her brow, she’s descending into a panic attack. She can’t marry a King. That would mean… “Wait,” she squeaks out trying to get air into her lungs, “That means…if you’re to be King that means when we get married I’m to be…Queen? You want me to be a fucking Queen? As in rule an entire country type of Queen? I can’t even make it to the fucking grocery store without flipping out Jon, how the hell am I to rule a country if I can’t even keep control over my own life!” she says, her voice rising in pitch and volume.

"Oh man, I did not see that coming,” Christian says quietly to Jack completely intrigued by this information, “Your friends are more exciting than telly Jack. It’s all mystical bonds, missing Princes and Cinderella. Rose can you talk to animals by chance, that would be wicked,” he asks interrupting the rant she had going.

“What!? Are you fucking kidding me right now!? How is that an appropriate question at this time Christian?” Rose screams at him.

“Rose Love, Please calm down. It’s not as bad as you think. We have options but I need you to calm down so we can discuss them okay?” Jon says to her softly.

“Calm down?! This is insane Jon! You could have given me a heads up that I’m expected to be royalty! Oh God, my mum, what am I to tell her Jon? This is barmy is what this is. Did I pass out or something? Is this really happening?” she asks trying to reign in her fear and anger. She knows he hadn’t really had a chance to tell her, but certainly sometime in the last 2 weeks he could have at least mentioned that he is a fucking King!

“Uh, we’re gonna go…somewhere else…anywhere else,” Jack says, dragging Christian from the couch and heading for the door.

“No, but I wanted to know what happens,” Christian whines as the door closes.

“We’ll find out tomorrow Christian. You don’t know what Rose has been through yet so this is…well it’s not as if she’s spent her days and nights dreaming of Prince charming to swoop in and rescue her. To find out that Jon is precisely that, after she’s already pregnant and engaged…what happens in there will not be pretty,” Jack says as they make their way to the lift, “So wanna go to your flat? Mine’s a bit occupied at the moment?”

“You seem pretty sure that you’re getting lucky tonight Jack,” Christian says smiling.

“I am very confident that I’ll be getting lucky tonight,” Jack responds leaning in and kissing him deeply, “Now hopefully you’re as confident as me.”

“Nothing has to change Rose. That’s the first option we need to discuss,” Jon says, “I have been running things just fine for the last 15 years without being there and my parents lived in London. I mean, sure we may have to make a trip to Gallifrey now and again for appearance sakes, but really nothing has to be any different for us if we don’t want it to be.”

“What? How can you rule a country you’re never in Jon?” she asks confused.

“Well…we have a queen here yeah? She doesn’t really do much though does she? There are all these other people to handle the stuff. It’s the same with me really. From time to time the advisers bring something to Donna and she brings it to me to make a decision, but for the most part they leave me alone and I them. As long as I handle whatever they send my way no one really cares if I’m there or not. Again, this is just one option Rose and there’s something else that we need to discuss as well,” he states blowing out a breath.

“Right, okay…so option one is nothing changes…kind of. What’s option two?” she asks worried.

“I could renounce the throne,” Jon says flatly, giving no indication outwardly one way or the other how he feels about that option.

Rose however knows, she can feel his reluctance and dislike for that option swirling around in her head. “What happens if you do that?” Rose asks him.

“They would hold an election…well kind of an election. Almost like what they do here to pick a new Prime Minister. Someone would be named to take over and then their family would be in charge until such a time as they chose to renounce the throne; easy peasy,” he says, trying for lightness.

“Obviously there is more to it than that,” Rose says, “What happens to you if you do that? Wait, if you’re King now because your parents died then that means our child would be next in line?” she asks worried again.

“Yes,” Jon says quietly, “It won’t matter if it’s a girl or a boy. Whoever is eldest will be next in line, if they choose to abdicate, then it would go the next eldest sibling…should there be more than the one you currently have residing in here,” he says, running his fingers across her still flat belly.

“So what happens to you if you do that?” she asks again, quieter, calmer this time.

“What are you referring to? Are you talking financially or emotionally or whether I’d ever be allowed into my family home again?” he asks still running his hands over her belly.

“Yes, I mean all of that,” she says irritated at him.

He knows she’s upset, he was prepared for that. This is a big deal as much as he’s trying to play it off that it isn’t. Which he now realizes is a stupid and pointless effort due to the bond…so she knows it’s a big deal. “They would never banish me from my home Rose, even if I was to renounce the throne that would never happen. Things aren’t run like that. We would face no issues financially. I don’t live off the revenue from Gallifrey now, never have. I have a trust fund that was set up by my parents when I was born. That money does not come from Gallifrey. As you know both of my parents had lucrative careers separate from their commitments to Gallifrey. However, I’ll not even try to lie about the fact that abdicating the throne isn’t my first choice. But I will, for us I will. If you don’t want to take on this responsibility, or you feel you cannot do it, then I’d be fine walking away from it. It would be sad of course, but only briefly. You are giving me a family and really that’s all I care about now. I want you to be happy, that’s it,” he says shrugging again.

“Bloody Hell Jon! You do not get to lay this entire decision on me, that is so not fair!” she yells leaping from the couch and away from him, “I mean…I get there is a decision to be made but not just me…WE, as in YOU and ME! Do you realize you’re asking a girl who has never even gotten her A-Levels to run a fucking country? I’ve never even been the boss at a job before the shop, what the hell do I know of running an entire country? And you’ve been gone this whole time? Don’t the people there wonder about that? Don’t they think it a bit odd that they never see their King? Do they even know you’re alive? Do they just assume that you died when your parents did? Will they be angry if you just waltz back in to take things over and with a wife no less? Don’t you guys have rules and stuff about picking a King or Queen? I mean certainly the advisers would take issue with you finding a former heroin addict suitable as your Queen? A FUCKING QUEEN! Do they just let any run of the mill street urchin into royalty in your country? How are we going to gloss over my past if we take this on? How…where…what…” she stammers out just before she faints into Jon’s waiting arms.

“Yep, saw that coming,” he says carrying her to the couch and laying her down.

Rose wakes with a sense of panic filling her, sits straight up and wild eyes search the area around her. As her vision travels the room she sees Jon. He’s relaxed in a chair, feet propped up on the table and reading; looking as if he hadn’t a care in the world. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “So, you’re a King. Gotta say Jon, I hadn’t seen that coming,” Rose says quietly, “How uh…how’d this play out in your head…telling me I mean? Did you think you’d just be able to slip it into a conversation and I’d miss it or what?”

“Actually” he responds just as quietly, “I didn’t think it to be an issue Rose. When the sharing of our memories occurred I just assumed you knew. And you did know, you just didn’t know what it meant,” he says running his hands down his face. Jon walks over to one of the bookshelves at the back of the room, grabs 3 books and sits next to Rose, placing the 3 books on the table in front of them. “My mother,” he says softly, “she was an only child as well. She knew from an early age what was expected of her. By the time she’d met my father she had already ascended to the throne, both my grandparents passing just shortly before that,” he says, handing her the first book.

Rose takes the book from his hands and realizes it’s not a book but a photo album. She opens it to the first page and sees a picture of an adorable baby girl. “Your mum?” she asks.

“Yes,” Jon says and she can hear the sadness in his response, “That album is pictures of my mum up to meeting my dad. The next is their life together up to when they had me and that one is all of us,” he says pointing to the last album. “Gallifrey is a very small country Rose, as I said less of a population than London has currently. After my mother took the throne she came to London. She wanted to attend school and she had dreams of her own aside from Gallifrey. She met my father in London, he had tried to steal her purse,” he says with a hint of a smile.

“He what?” Rose asks stunned.

“Yep, my father was…well a bit of a scoundrel I guess you could say. He was a thief, a bad one but one nonetheless. He had tried to steal her purse as she walked down the street and my mum kicked his arse,” he says with a small laugh, “Then she took him out for lunch and well…eventually they married, had me and life moved on.”

“And no one cared that the Queen brought back a criminal to be her King?” she asks incredulously.

“That’s just it though Rose, he wasn’t a criminal, not really. Sometimes good people make bad decisions. Making a bad decision doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a person. It’s the intent behind the decision that distinguishes between good and bad,” Jon says.

“Yes, but he was stealing from her,” Rose says.

Jon nods his head in silent agreement and says, “Yep, but he wasn’t stealing out of malice or with intent to hurt anyone. He was young, homeless and caring for a child who was also homeless. My father only tried stealing her purse to feed himself and an orphaned child Rose. It was a bad decision made by a good person.”

“So what happened when she brought him home? No one cared about his past? Didn’t it bother anyone that he was a thief? Did he bring the kid with him? Was it his kid? Do you have a step-sibling? No one was upset about her choice as a King for their country?” she asks sarcastically.

“First off, my father had never been in trouble with the law. He had no criminal record…same as you. It’s not as if he was a mobster or something, just a down on his luck bloke with a good heart and poor decision making skills. My mother could have chosen to keep it all hidden, but in the end they decided together that transparency was best. Even though he’d never actually been in trouble it wasn’t something they wanted following them. Of course there was opposition, there always is in politics. In the end it didn’t matter though, he proved to the people of Gallifrey he was worthy of their respect and they accepted him, just as surely as they would accept you; if that was what you chose to do. Again, this is not the only option Rose. We can simply walk away and never think of it again if that’s what you want. No, of course it’s not my first choice but this isn’t just about me is it? This is you and I and our child or children. This decision affects both of us and will affect this child and any other children we have,” Jon says taking in a shuddering breath. He knows he didn’t answer all of her questions, but some things…he’s just not ready for yet.

“Is there,” Rose begins but stops, “Can we…I don’t know. Um…could we go there and see it? Maybe, I don’t know is there a way to know if they’d hate me before we make the decision?”

“No one is going to hate you Love,” Jon says running his hands through her hair, pulling it back from her face and placing his forehead to hers, “I haven’t been home in a very long time Rose. I would love to take you there if you want, maybe bring Donna though. She’s been my go-between with the advisers and would likely come in handy in this situation. When did you want to go?” he asks, eyes closed and forehead still pressed to hers.

“I…um…really?” she squeaks back at him.

Rose can feel he’s terrified. Scared to go home, scared to take her there, scared that she’ll leave him now, scared she’ll take this away from him, his life now. “That’s about enough of that Jon. I’ve already told you I’m never leaving you,” (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I’m not even upset with you, with the situation yes, but not with you. You’re right, I did know about Gallifrey and how were you to know I didn’t retain all of the information? It’s not as if you kept it secret,” she says pulling back from him enough to see his face.

“I know Rose. I do know you’re not going to just leave, but still sometimes…” he trails of shrugging his shoulders.

“How long until we have to make the decision?” she asks seriously.

“It will need to be before the wedding. Well…I say before the wedding but really before you decide where to have the wedding or what kind of wedding you want to have…Well…it’s really the first decision that needs to be made actually. There are of course customs and traditions that would need to be adhered to if we chose to retain my title. So rather soon actually,” he says paling as the information settles on him.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Right…soon. Okay then, tomorrow doctor, Tuesday attorneys, Wednesday was…I don’t know something, Thursday was free, and Friday my mum is going to be here. Um…did you want to still look for a house on Saturday? I mean if we keep your title will you want to stay there?” she asks.

“Oh right, no uh…well we could of course stay there if we wanted. I…well…I don’t know really. Even if we did choose to stay there, I’d want a home here. This is where our friends are, our family. Maybe we could just take them all with us?” Jon poses to her.

She knows he’s being cheeky, can tell he’s not serious through the bond but she thinks that’s a lovely idea. Not that she would expect their friends to just go along with it, but it’s been a day of fantastical things and so adding another fantasy to the mix couldn’t hurt she thinks.

Rose curls herself into his side forcing him to sit back into the couch and says, “Let’s deal with this week first. We’ll make all of our appointments, meet up with my mum…whom I’ll have to tell all of this to by the way, look at some houses and take it from there yeah?”

She’s so quiet when she says it and he knows she’s upset. Jon gives into the urge and tests the bond, trying to see if he can get a sense of where she is emotionally. Resigned mostly, worried, a little fear…a lot less fear then he was expecting actually. So brave…his Rose. “Yeah, let’s get through this week, and we’ll talk about it more then,” he says laying a kiss on the top of her head, “Do you want to watch something or,” he looks at his watch, “it’s only 7:30-ish but we could go to bed, if you’re tired.”

“Or we could do both,” she suggests, “We could go to bed and watch something. I don’t really want to be out here if Christian and Jack come back here for the night. Besides I think a shower is necessary now. Have I said how much I love that shower? Wherever we live it needs to have one of those okay?”

“Shower, telly, sleep. Yep, sounds good,” he says, rising from the couch and pulling her along with him towards their room.

Once in the room Rose stops and says panicked, “How do I tell my mum? Should I tell her everything at once or do I serve up tid bits throughout the visit? Do I tell her everything or do I keep some things from her? Is it okay if she knows about…well you? Can I tell her that you’re a…a…King? Does anyone else know? I mean Donna knows and Jack and Christian know, but does anyone else know? Do people like stop you on the street and say hey are you the missing King of Gallifrey?”

“Uh…how to tell your mum, well that’s really up to you. I’ve only met her the one time. I’m not sure I’m best to decide how to tell her everything. No one else knows about anything. Jack only found out yesterday and that’s only because Donna told him. It’s not like royalty here Rose, no one stops me for pictures or such if that’s what you mean,” he says calmly.

“I think maybe sitting her down and telling her everything at once is best. I mean the baby, finding a house, becoming the mother in law to a King…yeah definitely going to save the King stuff for last. She’s going to freak out, I mean properly freak out Jon. You saw how she reacted when she thought you were a professor. King is a big leap from professor. Oh God…you’re a King Jon,” she says, as if the information finally penetrated the thick skull she has, “Would I still call you Jon? How…what would…how would I be expected to act? I mean will I have to curtsey and stuff? Do I call you My King? Will people be referring to me as Queen?” she says as she starts disrobing, throwing her clothes wherever they land and not seeming to care.

That’s when Jon knows without doubt that she’s completely, utterly terrified and freaking out. Rose Tyler does not just throw things carelessly around ever. She is a neat freak, everything has a place and everything should be in its place at all times. He knows; he’s heard the rant many, many times in the few weeks she’s been here. She doesn’t rant at anyone in particular, but he hears her mumbling to herself as she picks through the mess Jack, Amy and Rory leave in their wake. Jon’s never really been a messy person; his room was cluttered, but not messy. Rose took care of that shortly after she started living there. So watching her throw her things about the room as she heads into the loo, he knows she’s properly freaking out.

Rose heads into the loo, turns the shower on and Jon frantically runs around grabbing up her things, folding them neatly before setting them on her dresser. He starts slowly taking off his own clothes and goes over the conversation again. He didn’t think he was supposed to answer the last questions she hurled at him. It was more her internal thoughts leaking out he thinks. Just as he walks over to his dresser to grab himself jimjams he feels Rose entwine her fingers through his and pull him away from the dresser.

“Come on,” she says smiling at him through her lashes and her fucking tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth, “let’s have a shower and then we can watch telly till we fall asleep.”

Jon’s pretty sure she doesn’t mean to just shower; he’s very accustomed to that look now. However, she was pretty upset maybe he’s reading her wrong he thinks as he tunes into the bond again. Nope, definitely not reading her wrong he decides as her arousal courses through him and he follows her into the shower. Rose wastes no time in confirming his suspicions as she presses her form into his and her lips against his. “So, not too angry with me then?” he says backing her against the wall of the shower, burying his head in her neck and kissing that spot that makes her turn to babbling mush.

“Not angry,” she whimpers as one of her hands tangles in his hair and the other circles his hardening cock. “Scared, worried…confused, but not angry,” she says on a whisper as he lifts her up, pressing her against the wall.

“I love you Rose, and I promise this will all be okay,” he whispers in her ear as he slides into her heat and wetness in one stroke, pulling that low throaty groan from her that he loves so, so much.

Rose clutches to his shoulders and tightens her legs around his waist for stability as she throws her head back. Jon’s thrusting and speed increasing each time he pulls out and pushes back into her and all she can do is hang on for the ride. Her words of encouragement becoming nothing more than incomprehensible babble as he pushes harder, deeper into her, gripping her thighs tight enough he knows he’ll leave bruises. Jon slides her down the wall to the floor of the shower and pulls her atop him, thrusting from beneath her.

Rose never misses a step as she takes control and moves fluidly above him, rising and coming back down so slowly; her movements a direct contrast to his more rapid, forceful ones from a moment ago. She’s moving so slowly Jon thinks he may go insane from it. She’s pulling herself almost all the way off of him, slowly coming down, sheathing his cock within herself again and again until it becomes too much for him. Jon places both hands on her hips and pulls her down, thrusts up inside her, pulling a shriek from Rose and he flips them so she’s on her back.

Jon kisses her, hard and hungry, his tongue breaks through her lips and teeth as if it were a battering ram. He opens the bond and is awash in Rose’s emotions, it’s almost like at the beginning stages of the bond with how powerful it is. Her trust, faith and love in him and for him rush through Jon causing his possessiveness to flair and a growl to escape his throat.

Rose wraps her legs and locks her ankles just below his hips, one hand snaking up to tangle in his hair, the other reaching down and grabbing his arse pushing him into her further. “Harder, more, fuck God don’t stop Jon,” she mumbles against his lips unable to sustain the kiss any longer. He knows she’s close, can tell by the slight fluttering of her internal muscles as well as through the bond and he reaches his hand between them, presses his 2 fingers against her clit as he thrusts harder and faster into her. He can feel his own orgasm coiling in the pit of his stomach and the electricity starting at the base of his spine, he knows it’s only moment away and he won’t be able to stop it. Jon removes his mouth from hers, slows his speed, leans into her ear and says, “I love you so much Rose. I promise to always love you, always do everything I can to make you happy. If I had a thousand lifetimes it would never be long enough to repay you the happiness you’ve given me Love.” As the last words leave his lips, her muscles clench around his cock over and over dragging him over the edge with her, emptying himself inside her and falling to her chest gasping for much needed oxygen.

“I hope it’s always like this,” she whispers running her hands through his wet hair, kissing his neck.

“Believe me when I say that me wanting you, this much, always…never going to be an issue. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to not lock you in our room and just shag you all day every day? It takes a considerable amount of my self control to allow you to wear clothing Rose,” he says laughing and standing up, pulling her with him, “We can do this now? Shower together, I mean? No more separate showers in the morning then?” and she can hear the hopeful note in his voice.

Rose smiles, giggles just a little before she says, “It hasn’t been me who uses the separate shower Jon, that’s on you alone. You’ve been welcome to join me in the shower for weeks now, just figured…well I don’t know really what I thought. Just that you’d join me when you were ready yeah? Come one let’s get to bed. OBGYN tomorrow,” she says exiting the shower and toweling off.

“Err, yeah…about that,” Jon says grabbing a towel and drying himself off as well, “Uh…the doctor we’re seeing tomorrow. Rory recommended her but I…well I already know her.”

“Yeah, she fancied you?” Rose asks nonchalantly.

“How’d you know that? Did I already yell you?” he says surprised both by her knowledge and her reaction to it, “It doesn’t bother you?” he asks.

“No, it doesn’t bother me. Why would it? And I know,” she says tapping the side of her head, “because you were worried about it and I could feel it. As for how I knew she fancied you, well…was the logical conclusion…who wouldn’t fancy you,” she says smiling and leaving the bathroom.

“It would bother me, if your doctor had a thing for you? Do you not get jealous at all,” he asks?

“Oh I’m positive there will come a time when that happens,” she says giggling at his pout and rubbing her thumb across his bottom lip, “but not right now. Besides you have this whole possessive thing that’s tied to our bond. I’d expect it to bother you if some other guy wanted me.”

“Right, we’ve never…that doesn’t bother you Rose? My being…like that?” he asks quietly.

“Nope. I know it should, but uh…well actually I kinda like it…a lot,” she says leaning in to kiss him, “I like knowing that I’m yours and that your protective of that. I think that’s the difference, I see it as protective not possessive. Possessive would be not allowing me any freedom to make my own choices, or locking me away and never letting me have friends or see my mum, you don’t behave like that at all,” she says smiling at him.

“Rose, I growl at people when they come near you. Rory…I growled at Rory, and Amy…growled at her too,” he says with a hint of worry.

“Yes, but why did you growl Jon,” she asks, “Was it because you were protecting me or you felt you were at any rate or was it ownership, they are not the same. I don’t think you believe you own me, you love me, I’m yours, your protecting what’s yours, I’m okay with that,” she says punctuating each of the last words with a kiss to his lips; each kiss lasting longer and becoming a bit deeper until she has him backed against the bed and falling on top of her again.


	26. Chapter 26

“Rose Tyler,” calls the nurse from the half open door as she looks around, “Ah there you are. Miss Tyler the doctor is ready for you now, come this way please.”

Rose and Jon stand and follow the nurse into the room. Jon takes a chair in the corner and Rose sits on the bed to wait for the doctor. “Are you sure this isn’t going to be weird for you. Seeing Martha as your doctor?” Jon asks.

“No, I’m okay with it,” Rose replies grinning mischievously at him, “You on the other hand seem a bit worried though. Is there something I should know before she gets here,” she asks teasingly?

“What? No, of course not. You know nothing happened,” Jon says defensively before he realizes she’s messing with him, “Also, what if it’s awkward for her. I just think that maybe we should look into seeing a different doctor is all.”

“Jon,” Rose begins to say as the door opens and she stops.

“Miss Tyler, I’m Dr. Martha Jones,” she says without looking up yet, “I’ll be seeing you through your…” Martha lets the words trail off as she takes in the patient in the room.

“Hello, I’m Rose Tyler. It’s a pleasure to meet you Dr. Jones and thanks for getting us in so quickly,” Rose says standing to shake her hand.

“Jon?” Martha asks in a surprised tone.

“Hello Martha, it’s lovely to see you,” Jon says bounding from his chair and waving at Martha.

Oh God! Dammit Martha get yourself together. You are a doctor, a professional and nothing even happened between the two of you and you’re engaged to Tom. Right, no issue. I can do this easily enough, she thinks to herself as she straightens her shoulders and replaces the surprised look on her face with a more professional smile. “So sorry, Miss Tyler,” Martha says shaking her hand, “I’m not used to seeing people I know in the exam rooms. It just caught me off guard for a moment. So this is your first prenatal visit correct?”

“Yes, we just found out last week that I was pregnant,” Rose says, offering the pages from the test she had.

“These are your results from the previous doctor you saw?” asks Martha.

“Yep, nothing much in there really, just the results of the blood test and some notes on prenatal care,” Jon responds.

“Congratulations Miss Tyler, you are definitely pregnant,” Martha says as she reviews the results, “This initial appointment is really just a gathering of information and to answer any questions you may have at this point. Did you have a chance to fill out the paperwork?”

“Yes, it’s all right here,” Rose smiles and hands the stack of papers to Martha.

“Thanks,” she says taking the papers and sitting on the stool next to the bed, “I know all the initial paperwork is a pain, but it really does save a lot of time and can help answer a lot of potential health issues that crop up.”

“What?” Jon squeaks out, his voice rising to that pitch he despises, “What uh…what health issues?”

“Not to worry, it’s just in case. I’m not saying Miss Tyler will have any issues, we’ll discuss all those possibilities and what signs to look out for today,” Martha replies, looking over the initial visit paperwork.

“You can call me Rose…please. Miss Tyler…it’s, I don’t know, my mum or just odd. Just Rose is fine thanks,” she says still smiling. She’s beginning to think Jon was right about a different doctor. Though she may not take issue with Martha being their doctor, it’s certainly obvious that both Jon and Martha seem incredibly uncomfortable with the situation. She can feel Jon’s anxiety and apprehension about the visit through the bond and Martha…well one doesn’t need to be an empath to feel the discomfort and shock that seeing Jon sparked in her.

Martha scans the new patient paperwork and quickly finds that yes, Jon is the father. Rose’s listed address is the same as his, so they live together at the minimum and she quickly glances at Rose…yep there it is, engagement ring on her left hand. How long has it been since she’d seen him? Maybe a few weeks at most? A month maybe if she pushes the time out as far as possible. In a month he’s managed to get engaged and get her pregnant? He wasn’t seeing anyone the last time they spoke, she had asked and he said no. Why is this bothering her so much? She’s engaged too. She’s moved on from him, she’s certainly not in love with him any longer, so why is this bothering her? Martha shakes her head to clear the cobwebs, still a doctor, be professional Martha she chides herself. “So everything looks fine with the paperwork. Did either of you have any questions about anything?” she asks, smiling a little too widely, voice holding too much enthusiasm.

“Dr. Jones, if this is going to be awkward for you, we can find another doctor to see,” Rose says gently.

“What?” Martha says surprised, “No, not at all. Why would it be awkward, we’ve just met.”

“I was referring to your past with Jon,” Rose says kindly, “Listen, I’m not the type to play games and I have enough stress and crap in my life that I honestly do not need anymore. So, if this is too weird or uncomfortable for you due to your previous feelings for Jon…”

“My what?” Martha tries not to shriek interrupting Rose and looking over at Jon. She wants to be angry with this girl coming in here and making her feel like a teenager with a crush and a broken heart. Martha looks over at Jon and sees he has completely deflated into the chair, head down, one hand pulling on his ear and the other covering his face. For the first time she realizes he knew, all that time he knew how she felt about him and was playing dumb. She is momentarily mortified at how obvious she must have been to him.

Rose stands from the chair and begins picking up her things and says, “I’m very sorry to have embarrassed you Dr. Jones. That was not my intention at all. I just assumed we were all going to be able to handle this as adults, I’m sorry that I was mistaken,” she says trying for kind but coming of snappy, “If you could please just refer us to another doctor for our further appointments. Rory had recommended you so Jon and I hadn’t even looked into any others. If Rory trusts you though, I’m sure we can trust your judgment as well. Thank you for your time and it was…nice meeting you.”

Rose is livid; Jon can feel it slithering under his skin and through his blood. He’s not even trying to tap into the bond and he can feel it. He had hoped this would not be an issue. Martha is engaged now, certainly being engaged means she’d moved on from her crush on him right? Sure a certain amount of shock is warranted he thinks. It’s only been just a few weeks since he last talked with Martha and at the time he was still just Jon. He was still alone, miserable, sad, pathetic, unable to even think of any kind of real intimacy and certain he would die alone. Now though, now he has Rose. He has Rose and she is giving him a child and a life he didn’t even try to dream of before. As that settles in him he starts to calm, Rose is right, as she usually is he’s coming to find. If Martha cannot be a professional about this then they will simply need a new physician. It’s imperative they are comfortable with whatever doctor they see. Rose is going to have gynecological exams repeatedly throughout the pregnancy and due to her past…well she needs to be okay with whatever doctor…female doctor, he amends, that they see.

“I’m sorry Martha,” Jon says sheepishly as he entwines his fingers with Rose’s, “I hadn’t thought there would be an issue and I wanted Rose to be comfortable with our doctor. Once Rory recommended you….it doesn’t matter, we should be going. It was nice seeing you again,” he says, pulling Rose from the room.

“Okay, so the next doctor needs to be a woman whose heart you didn’t break,” Martha hears Rose say as they leave the room.

Martha is horrified at her behavior, not just as a jilted crush but as a doctor as well. She was incredibly unprofessional, couldn’t even get words out after Rose had confronted her. Jealousy is a bitch, she thinks walking out of the room after Jon and Rose. She needs to fix this now, right now. Martha will not have people thinking that she cannot separate her professional life from her personal life and this is just…Grrrr…why is this so bothersome to her? Maybe she should let them get another doctor, it was really awkward in that room, and poor Rose. Yeah, poor Rose she thinks. Poor beautiful, blonde, petite, engaged, pregnant little Rose, with her perfect attitude and her perfectly beaming smile and her perfect fiancé and her perfect fucking life! Martha thinks to herself as she slams her hand against the wall. “Maybe now isn’t the best time to apologize,” she mumbles to herself, turning around, running right into Rose and knocking her to the floor.

“Oof,” Rose exclaims as she makes contact with the linoleum flooring.

“Rose!” Jon says scrambling to pull her off the floor, “Are you alright?”

“Fine, I’m fine,” she waves off his concern. “This would be why my mother didn’t name me Grace,” Rose says smiling lightly and trying to laugh…just a little.

“I’m so sorry Miss Tyler,” Martha states flushed with irritation and now embarrassment.

“It’s fine really, I’m fine. Just a little tumble,” Rose says still smiling, “Jon could you bring the car around please? I’ll wait here,” she says looking at Martha.

“Sure, yep…I’ll just…grab the car,” Jon says stammering and retreating through the doors. He’s not sure what’s about to happen but he knows he wants no part of that discussion.

Rose waits until Jon is clear of hearing range and says, “Are you alright Doctor Jones? You look…I don’t know upset. I am very sorry that I embarrassed you; it really was not my intention at all. I think Rory and Jon as well may have underestimated your interest.”

“I’m so sorry Miss Tyler for my behavior earlier. I think I was just a little shocked, regardless it was very unprofessional and…well rude. Please accept my apology,” Martha says offering her hand to Rose.

Internally Rose is seething. She is trying to handle this as an adult and not a petty jealous child, but Martha is everything Rose will never be. She’s beautiful, smart obviously, a doctor for fucks sake. She’d make a much better match for Jon than Rose does. Martha would probably have no issue with Jon being a King or his money. It doesn’t matter that Amy dressed her up in pricey clothes, had her hair and nails done professionally; none of that matters because underneath all of the makeup and new clothes and hair she’s still just Rose Tyler, estate trash and no good for anything…damaged goods. Stupid, stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN! She feels like she’d tricked herself into believing she could be the kind of woman Jon needs and now…well now she’s up the duff and engaged to a man who will undoubtedly realize how far beneath him she is. Suddenly she’s no longer angry; that emotion being replaced with self loathing and a sick feeling in her stomach as tears start coursing down her face.

Martha watches as Rose disintegrates in front of her having no clue what to do now. Should she try and comfort her, should she apologize again? “Miss Tyler are you alright? Was it the fall? Are you injured,” Martha asks?

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “No I’m fine,” Rose sighs, wiping the tears from her face, “Just being a bit ridiculous,” she says quietly. She is too, she knows she is. Rose has no doubt that Jon loves her, wants her and this family and life they are building together. She shakes her shoulders, stands up straighter and pushes her insecurities aside.

“Probably just the pregnancy hormones,” Martha says, “We hadn’t the chance to discuss these details before, but it’s very common to become overly emotional, especially during the first trimester. Once you hit around the fourth month or so it should even back out. Did you want to sit down while Jon brings the car around? There’s a table and some benches just there,” she says pointing to the left.

“Yeah, thanks,” Rose replies meekly, making her way to the bench, Martha following.

“Are you dizzy or anything? That’s pretty common as well during the first trimester. Morning sickness typically hits at about 6 weeks, so maybe 2 or 3 weeks for you. I’d recommend saltines, the no salt kind and water, lots of water. Morning sickness is different for everyone so there’s no way I can tell you ahead of time how bad it will be. Some women have it really rough and some never get it at all. Are there any questions you have? Anything you’re worried about?” Martha asks.

She thinks maybe she can do this. It’s not nearly as awkward as it was in the exam room. Initial nerves probably, no woman ever wants to see the man she spent years pining after happy and in love with someone else. But, as she sits here now talking with Rose she realizes she is over Jon. She loves Tom and she can do this.

“Rose,” she says hesitantly, “I am very sorry for what happened earlier. I imagine it wasn’t easy coming in to see me. Clearly you know about the feelings I had in the past for Jon and you were still willing to come here, that takes courage. I was…no woman wants to see someone she loved happy with another person and I was being petty. Please understand that I am engaged now and have moved past my feelings for Jon. I am so sorry I upset you and made you uncomfortable, if you still would like me to work with you through your pregnancy I’d be happy to do so.”

Rose knows she’s being genuine, she can feel it; which is odd. Maybe she’s imagining it? This whole bond thing has her loopy maybe? She gets that she can feel Jon’s emotions, that’s the bond…but she shouldn’t be able to sense anyone else’s. It’s not strong at all, just a light touch of emotion on the periphery of her brain, but she thinks it’s definitely there. Rose pushes it way for now; she needs to focus on the conversation at hand.

“Uh…well I don’t know Dr. Jones. I do appreciate the offer but I don’t want to make you any more uncomfortable than I already have,” Rose stutters out.

“Honestly Rose, it was just a moment of…shock or jealousy. It won’t happen again and I am very sorry,” Martha says.

There it is again…why is she feeling that? “Um…well, okay. I’d really like that. Rory said you were the best OBGYN he knew and Jon…he’s um…well…he’s rather protective and I think knowing you personally as well as professionally would put him at ease some. So what now?” Rose asks timidly without making eye contact.

“I’m just going to say this,” Martha says directly, “If I cross a line here please just tell me, but you seemed very uncomfortable in the exam room. If you’d prefer we could do most of the visits at your home. Really until you’re almost through the pregnancy you shouldn’t need to come in the office unless there’s an issue. We have a portable scanner to do the ultrasounds for…situations such as this.”

“So right to the doctor stuff then,” Rose says calming down.

“Figured it was best. No need to dwell on my atrocious behavior from earlier and I did notice you seemed uncomfortable, thought we’d get that handled right away,” Martha says, inspecting Rose more closely now that she’s done throwing a fit. She takes in Rose’s posture and the way she folds her arms around herself, her lack of eye contact and the diminutive tone of her voice. Rose exhibits classic textbook signs of an abused woman. Martha does not for one minute think Jon has abused her, but she is certain that Rose was abused…and recently.

“You can just come to the flat and do the appointments?” Rose asks, “Is that…I don’t know safe or sanitary or whatever? Is that something you offer everyone? I don’t want you to get into trouble catering to me because of Jon,” she rushes out.

Martha places her hand on Rose’s arm drawing her attention to her face and says, “No, it’s not special treatment Rose. I won’t get into trouble and yes it’s something we offer to patients who we feel would be more comfortable.” Martha sees Rose deflate just a little and the tension leave her shoulders some.

“I would…yeah that’d be better I think. I don’t uh…well…I don’t really care for hospitals and such. I didn’t realize it was that obvious though,” Rose says with a small laugh, “I thought I’d done much better at hiding it.”

“Oh don’t fear your acting skills Rose, we’re trained to look for certain behaviors. Someone not a doctor would likely have never known,” Martha says trying to reassure her, “I think Jon’s waiting on you, he’s been parked there for a bit now.”

“Yeah, I know he’s there. I just wanted to get this straightened out before I left. I’m glad we were able to talk. So do I just call to make an appointment or do I need to let them know it will be at the flat?” Rose asks.

“Nope, I’ll have my secretary call you to set up then next appointment, she’ll know it’s to be at the flat,” Martha says standing up, “It really was nice to meet you and I am very happy for both you and Jon. I’ll see you in a few weeks unless you have concerns over something.”

“Thanks Martha,” Rose says quietly walking toward the car and waving goodbye.

“Is everything okay?” Jon asks panicked as she gets in the car, “One minute you were really, really angry…Please don’t ever get that angry with me Rose…next you were…well you know what you were feeling so I don’t need to say and I’ll just stop talking and drive the car…yep, that’s what I’m going to do,” he says quickly as he sees the look on Rose’s face.

“Clearly you underestimated the extent of Dr. Jones feelings for you. So that was fun,” Rose snaps at him while staring at the passing scenery.

“Wait, why am I in trouble,” Jon whines?

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “You’re not in trouble. It’s…Dr. Jones says it’s my hormones going all crazy. She said that I’ll be very emotional and not to worry because it’s normal for the first trimester, she also said I’ll be sickin’ up my toenails in about 2-3 weeks,” Rose says whining back at him.

“Okay just tell me what you need or want or both. I will be available to your every whim. Chocolate at 3 am, no problem,” he says grinning at her.

“Jon,” Rose starts and hesitates.

“What?” he asks as he parks the car. He looks over to her and can see as well as feel the panic in her. “Rose, what’s the matter? What’s happened?”

“I…I think I was able to feel Dr. Jones emotions,” she rushes the words out.

“What?” he says again. That shouldn’t happen; well he thinks that shouldn’t happen. He has no idea if that should happen actually. Jon knows pretty close to nothing about what’s going on with the bond. He steps from the car and opens the door for Rose, entwining their fingers and walking to the lift. Once inside he pulls his phone from his pocket and dials Amy.

“What’s up Jon?” Amy answers overly chipper.

“Are you and Rory at your flat or ours?’ Jon replies shortly.

“We’re at yours. Why? What’s the matter?” Amy says worried.

“We’ll be up in a minute and we’ll tell you then,” Jon says disconnecting the phone.

“It’ll be fine Rose, I’m sure. Please don’t start worrying too much until we discuss it with Amy and maybe Matt,” Jon says softly.

“It’s not me that’s freaking out,” Rose says with a touch of amusement, “Yes it was odd, but that seems to be our life now yeah? I’m sure I was just imagining it. It’s not happened with anyone else and I was a little…upset earlier,” she says trying to calm him down some.

Jon rushes through the hall to the living room and places Rose on the couch while hollering for Amy and Rory. “We’re here, right here. No need to shout, what’s happened?” Rory says only slightly worried, pulling his stethoscope and other various instruments from his bag.

“Amy, something happened today with the bond. I think…I don’t know, it could have been my imagination,” Rose says flatly.

Jon sits next to Rose on the couch and Amy and Rory both sit on the coffee table in front of them. “Okay, well what do you think you imagined happening, “Amy asks much calmer now.

“Well I…uh…when we were with Dr. Jones today I could…well I think I could feel her emotions too. Not all of them just some and it was very faint, but it was definitely there…I think,” Rose stutters out.

“You think you definitely felt someone else’s emotions other than Jon’s,” Amy questions.

“Yes, it was odd but odd seems to be common these days. Jon however is freaking out about it,” Rose teases.

“I’m…that…should she be able to do that? Read other people as well? You never said anything about that Amy!” Jon exclaims, rising and pacing.

“Well I never said because I didn’t know,” Amy replies calmly. She can see Jon is freaking out and the last thing she wants is to set off his over protective streak regarding Rose. “My best guess would be that being as Rose is a natural empath, either the bond or the pregnancy has strengthened her natural ability,” she says shrugging her shoulders, dismissing Jon’s concern.

“What?” Rose asks, “What do you mean natural empath. I never felt people’s emotions and stuff before. It’s only been Jon.”

“No Rose, you’ve always been an empath. I knew it right after we met. It’s part of the reason people feel drawn to you. You have the innate ability to see past someone’s façade, see their real emotions. Of course it was on a much lesser scale than it is now, but it’s always been there; probably since you were a child actually. Then as you grew up and especially after Jimmy, you became cleverer at using the ability. It makes sense when you think about it,” Amy says nonchalantly.

“How exactly does it make sense,” Jon asks, sitting next to Rose?

“Try thinking of this in terms of evolution rather than within the confines of the bond,” Rory says, “Throughout history humans have evolved and developed many things for survival right? Well this is no different really. If Rose has always had the ability to be an empath as well as the prospect of being a Twin Flame then the chance of increasing that ability always resided within her. After Jimmy and everything she went through, her brain merely enhanced the ability she already had as a form of self preservation; heightened her senses so she could better determine if someone was a potential threat to her safety.”

“Okay, that…well that makes sense I suppose,” Jon replies running his hand along Rose’s thigh, “Is it permanent? Will it continue to increase? Will there be a time when she can feel everyone’s emotions?”

“No clue, but I’ll have Matt start looking into it. He has access to information that I don’t due to the University, and I’ll continue to research as well, see if I can come up with something,” Amy says, “So how did the appointment go?”

“That’s it,” Jon states with irritation, “You’re just moving on? Don’t you think there should be some discussion or we should start looking into this right now?” he says loudly, standing and pacing again.

“No, I really don’t Jon,” Amy says sternly, “There’s nothing we can do right now and it’s not as if Rose or the baby are in any danger. You need to calm yourself down; you’re upsetting her more than the empathy issue right now.”

Jon looks over to Rose and taps into the bond, sure enough he can feel she’s upset again. He walks over, takes her hand and says, “Rose Love, I’m just worried. I don’t know what this means for you or the baby and…”

“I get it Jon, it’s fine. You can’t control your protectiveness anymore than I can control the empathy thing. It’s just frustrating is all. We’ll eventually get a better handle on things, it’s only been a few weeks yeah?” Rose says calmly, pulling him back down to the couch with her, “As for the rest of the appointment, it was fine. We talked about morning sickness…really looking forward to that and we discussed how my hormones are going to make me an even more crazy bitch, so yeah…umm…pregnancy’s looking to be a fun time,” Rose says tersely.

“Are you hungry Rose,” Amy asks with an obvious sidestep to her rant about hormones? No need to discuss what is as obvious as the nose on Rory’s face she decides.

“Yes…no…Ugh…I need caffeine,” Rose sighs, closing her eyes and falling further into the couch, “It’s been days since I’ve had coffee,” she whines, “Rory you’re a doctor, is it okay if I have coffee, a real coffee, not this decaf shit Jon’s trying to trick me with every fucking day.”

“Ah, you caught that huh? I was hoping you wouldn’t,” Jon says sheepishly.

“Yes I did,” she responds pouting, “By the way even if by some miracle you fooled me with the taste, which let’s be honest…never gonna happen, you’re guilty conscience is a dead giveaway. You may be able to pull it off with others but the next time you get sneaky remember…” she trails off tapping his temple, “I will know,” she smiles and kisses him.

“A cup of coffee isn’t going to harm you or the baby,” Rory says rolling his eyes, “and you two really need to read some books on pregnancy. I do not want to be woken up with questions about coffee at 2 am.”

“All I heard was that I can have coffee,” Rose says, bounding from the couch, grabbing her purse.

“Headed to the shop?” Amy asks.

“Yep,” Rose replies throwing her coat on.

“Rose, its 6:45, the shops closing up, but I’m sure if you text Jack he can bring you a coffee home. If he’s coming home that is,” Rory says smiling.

“Must I do everything around here,” Amy says sarcastically heading to the kitchen. “You’d think between Jon being a genius and Rory being a doctor one of you would have just come in and made a cup of coffee for the crazy pregnant lady.” A minute later Amy comes back out with a cinnamon latte for Rose and a cup of hot cocoa for herself.

“Coffee, coffee, coffee…oh bliss,” Rose sighs with a happy expression, “Thank you Amy. Is this…did you make this with cinnamon?”

“Yep, had to go with what we had. You’ll need to make a run to the shop for syrups and what not, maybe head to Tesco’s for some milk, but that machine in there will do just fine. Pregnancy brain kicking in already Rose?” Amy snickers.

Rose waves off her comments as she continues sipping her coffee and says, “So attorneys tomorrow right? And then Wednesday is the meeting with the adviser from the University about classes, Thursday is free and Friday my mum comes in. That’s us for the week. What about you two?”

“Well tomorrow is nothing, Wednesday is…nothing, Thursday, Thursday, Thursday…also nothing. I’m sensing a trend here," Rory says laughing, “But really, we have nothing going on until I start my new position at the hospital.”

“And how long till that starts,” Jon asks.

“Bout’ 6 weeks left, just under actually,” Rory answers as Amy heads for the loo.

Once the door to the loo closes Rose looks over at Rory. “You should take her somewhere nice Rory. This whole thing has been stressful on her and she’s worked really hard to help Jon and me. She deserves a trip,” Rose says firmly as she waves off Rory’s protest, “I know Jon and I still may need your help, but we seem medically fine…for now at least. Just take her for the weekend, plan something nice for her. Besides my mum will be in this weekend and I have to explain about the baby and Jon being…” she trails off as a flash of fear courses through her and she looks over to Jon.

“Jon being? Were you going to finish that statement Rose?” asks Rory.

“No, yeah…just his over protectiveness and stuff. I don’t want her thinking he’s off or something if it happens when she’s there. My mum’s going to have a hard enough time accepting that I’m pregnant ya know?” she says not making eye contact.

“Worst liar I have ever met,” Rory teases her.

“Okay yeah I am,” she giggles lightly, “It’s just some stuff we want to talk with mum about before everyone else is all,” and she can feel Jon’s fear lessening as Rory accepts her explanation.

“Actually, I was thinking of taking Amy away for a few days anyways,” Rory says quietly,” I uh, well…I’m going to propose…I think…pretty sure…mostly sure that I’m maybe going to propose.”

“You’re mostly sure that you may propose?” Jon says quietly laughing, “Well you two have only been together 7 years and you’re right, maybe you want to take another few just to be sure.”

“Look Jon, not all of us have some mind meld with our significant other. Just because Amy was all gung ho for marriage and babies last week does not mean she is this week. You know her, she’s very…excitable,” Rory says harshly, “Amy is…well Amy. She’s complicated and a bit flighty, whimsical.”

“Rory,” Rose says rubbing his arm, “Amy loves you and she wants to marry you, we’ve talked about this…her and I, not you and I. She wants to have a family with you, so quit being such a wuss and get to it.”

“Yeah? She’ll say yes right?” he asks.

“Even if she doesn’t, it will still be a lovely weekend away, maybe give you two time to discuss it, see if it was just spur of the moment excitement or if she really is in that place,” Jon says shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll work on the planning tomorrow while she’s…oh the shop. I’ll have Jack ring her to help at the shop, I can get it all worked out then,” Rory says with excitement in his voice.

“Rory, I think I downed that hot cocoa too fast. I’m not feeling so great; maybe we should head home for the night?” Amy says, picking up her belongings.

“Have a good night, feel better Amy,” Rose says walking them to the door and locking it behind them.

“How long is your mum going to be staying Love?” Jon asks as she comes back into the room.

“As far as I know just the weekend, why?” Rose responds downing the last of her coffee.

“I had a thought about telling her…well everything,” Jon says nervously.

“Maybe if it’s making you this nervous it’s a bad thought,” Rose says sweetly coming to stand in front of him and running her nails along his scalp.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I was thinking she could stay for a week. We could take her to Gallifrey with us. If she sees it herself, it will save all the time and hassle of her denying it,” he rushes the words out, wrapping both his arms around her waist and placing his forehead on her belly.

Rose stays quiet, continues running her hands though his hair as she considers his idea. To be honest she has no clue how to impart all of this information to Jackie. It’s something she’s been worrying over and maybe taking her there, showing her irrefutable proof that this entire fantastical story is true is the best way to do that. She can hardly argue with what’s right in front of her face, well okay it’s Jackie, so she very well could but maybe it would be less of an argument. “I could see if she’ll come in on Wednesday night after the meeting with the University. We could leave Thursday morning. How long will it take to get there?” Rose asks softly.

“Private Jet, only a few hours. We could leave Wednesday night, maybe just have her meet us at the airport,” Jon responds just as softly, placing a small kiss on her belly and sighing peacefully. He loves this part; well he loves all the parts of being with Rose he thinks. This part though, when it’s just them and everything is calm and quiet…peaceful. They have been rare since the start of this whole thing and he cherishes every moment like this that comes along. Neither one of them freaking out over anything, no one feeling sick, no overwhelming emotions, just an average normal bloke with his devastatingly beautiful fiancé and baby…yep, he definitely loves these moments.

“I’ll have to call mum and see if she’ll go. What do I say? Just that we want to take her away for a few days?” she asks.

“Mmm, sound good to me,” he responds in a sleepy tone.

“How about you get ready for bed and I’ll call mum. Maybe find something to put on telly to fall asleep to yeah?” Rose suggests.

“Okay,” he says standing and kissing her softly, before heading to their room.

Rose sits on the couch and tosses her phone from hand to hand trying to think of how to get Jackie to go along with this. The longer she thinks about it the more unnerved she becomes until she’s close to a panic attack. She tries calming herself, breathing like her therapist had taught her. She lowers her head between her knees, closes her eyes, breathes in and out deeply and slowly, tries to regulate her pulse rate and stop the blood that’s rushing through her.

For Jon, the moment the panic attack sets in is akin to someone scraping nails down a chalkboard…inside his brain. He immediately turns back and heads towards where he left Rose. When he makes the corner he sees her sitting on the couch, head between her knees and breathing slowly. He wants to go to her, hold her, tell her everything will be okay…he will make everything okay but he knows he can’t. He knows he needs to quit trying to make her into a damsel in distress. Rose is intelligent and capable, strong and resilient and he has to start treating her as such. He thinks it’s probably been a nice respite for her, having other people to worry over her and take care of day-to-day things for her, but he also knows that will only be appreciated for so long.

Eventually Rose is going to get annoyed with everyone treating her as if she hadn’t been caring for herself all these years. So he doesn’t interrupt her, doesn’t go to her and try to fix this for her. He does however tap into the bond and leaves it open. Now that he’s figured out how to do that, he tries for the most part to keep it closed, but right now…well she’s upset…he’s not rushing in to fix it for her but he wants to know immediately if she needs him, so he leaves it open and heads back to the room to give her privacy.

About 15 minutes later, Rose has her emotions back under control and her stress lowered enough to make the call to Jackie. As the phone starts to ring she still has no idea what she’s going to say. “Rose, I’m so glad you called,” Jackie says excitedly.

“Hi mum, how’s life in London?” Rose asks.

“Pftt, same as ever,” Jackie replies, “Works been slow, money’s been tight and men are slim pickins. What’s goin’ on with you? I wasn’t expecting to hear from you till Thursday when you called and texted a million times to confirm my arrival time and what not,” Jackie says laughing.

“That’s uh…well that’s um why I’m calling actually,” Rose says hesitantly.

“Rose Marion Tyler! Are you cancelling our weekend? After not seeing me for 10 years you’re going to cancel our time together? Rose why? Did I…I thought we were getting on better?” Jackie ends in a whining tone.

“No mum” Rose says quickly, “I’m not cancelling. In fact Jon and I were hoping to extend your visit by a few days.”

“Oh,” Jackie says surprised, “I…well how much longer did you want me to stay?”

She can hear the excitement in Jackie’s voice and she swears she can feel her nervousness over the phone. “Uh, well Jon…he umm…he wants to take us to his home, show us around some. We’d like you to come on Wednesday and we’d leave that night. Maybe be gone through the weekend, come back on Monday likely,” she says stuttering.

“What do you mean home? I thought you two lived in Cardiff? Didn’t he say he owned his flat there?” Jackie asks suspiciously. Clearly she has not been given all of the information, which really with Rose she should have assumed. It’s always been this way with her, never the full story, always bits and pieces handed out over time. On the one hand Jackie had hoped she’d matured past that through the years, but on the other hand she’s overjoyed at another piece of Rose that has remained the same, familiar, still her Rose.

“Yeah we do live in Cardiff, but he wasn’t born here mum. He didn’t live here his whole life yeah? Remember, Jon told you he’s only been in Cardiff for about 12 years or so. Anyways,” Rose says, frustration lacing her tone, “Did you want to come with us or not? I mean you don’t have to. We can plan it for another weekend. I know I just kind of sprang this on you last minute so if you don’t want to go I’ll…”

“No Rose, I’ll go,” Jackie replies interrupting her, “I’m sure it will be lovely. Are we going to meet his family?” she asks back to being nervous. Jackie doesn’t really know how to behave around posh people and she’s not really adept at moderating her behavior.

“Mum, Jon doesn’t have any family,” Rose says soft and sad, “There’s Donna, they grew up together and she’s his best friend, more like a sister, but he doesn’t have any blood relations…anymore.”

“That’s awful Rose, what happened to them all? He has no parents or cousins, aunts, uncles? No one?” Jackie asks sadly.

“He has me now, and I’m never gonna leave him,” Rose says with quiet determination.

Jackie can hear the resolve in her daughters voice as she says it, knows 100% that if she is to have Rose in her life she will have to accept Jon as well. Accepting Jon means accepting his life, however different it is and uncomfortable Jackie may be with it. She had let Rose down before, was never the kind of mum she should have been after Pete died and Rose is giving her an opportunity to repair that damage now. “I know Rose. I know you love him and he loves you. It was clear as day when you two were here. I Promise I’m not trying to cause issues, was just trying to get a feel for what to expect you know? I don’t want to embarrass either of you and well…” Jackie says, allowing the sentence to trail off.

“Well what?” Rose pushes.

“I don’t know nothin’ bout bein’ posh do I?” Jackie says defensively, “Not like I grew up rich or nothin’ is it? How do you need me to act? Do I need to buy new clothes? Am I gonna have to eat weird foods that posh people eat even though they taste like a cat sicked up on the plate?”

“Mum,” Rose says gently, “No, I just want you to be you. I’m not asking you to be something or someone you aren’t. I just want you to come with us yeah? It’s…well this is all kinda scary for me and I…it would be nice if you were there okay?”

“Course Rose, I’ll always be there if you need me, please never doubt that,” Jackie says trying to conceal her crying. After 10 years of living without her daughter, of truly believing she had committed acts beyond redemption, here was Rose, offering absolution for her atrocious sins, offering forgiveness when Jackie knows she doesn’t deserve it. Rose was always so caring, so loving and compassionate, even as a child. Jackie can still remember all of Rose’s friends coming to her in troubled times. If they ever had an issue big or small, Rose was always the first person they came to for help or support. Jackie had worried over the last 10 years that she’d killed that part of Rose with her drinking and horrific treatment of her. But no, here she is…same loving, forgiving, compassionate girl she’d always been and that fills Jackie with a sense of joy and pride she hadn’t felt in so long.

“I…mum don’t cry. Just come up on Wednesday, text me when the trains almost here and I’ll come get you. It’s been a long day and I’m going to head to bed for the night. I love you mum,” she says disconnecting the line and going into the bedroom.

Her eyes immediately search out Jon, he’s in bed under the covers, book in hand and smiles to her as she makes her way over to him. “Rough call?” he asks as she starts stripping her clothes off. Oh, he wishes she would have changed in the loo. Jon knows he shouldn’t be thinking about making love to her right now. He knows she just had an emotional call with her mum, knows she had a panic attack, knows she's stressed out beyond the telling of it, but well…naked Rose…that image tends to wash away every other thought expect yes please, now and more and always and mine, mine, mine.

“Yeah,” she says quietly, sliding beneath the covers, curling into him, “She’s coming though, on Wednesday. So we can leave that night yeah?”

“Yes,” he responds just as quietly, “I’ll call Donna in the morning and let her know. She’ll want to come with us I’m sure. Plus having her there, she’s been managing the go between for me and the council, they’ll expect to see her as well,” he says as he turns the lights and telly off.

“Thought we were gonna watch telly for a bit?” Rose says, cuddling further into him.

“Mmm…yeah we were, but you’re tired and we have attorneys coming over in the morning, maybe some good sleep would be best,” he whispers, kissing her forehead.

“Is it ever going to get easier Jon? Our life…is it always going to be like this? One stressful thing after another after another. It’s as if the catastrophes have lined up and are waiting their turn to mess with us,” she says, exasperation clear in her tone.

“Better they take turns than come at us all at once,” he says lightly running his arm up and down her back, “At least we’ve managed to get one thing taken care of…or mostly taken care of before the next issue arises. It will get better Rose, I promise. Starting a life together is hard on everyone; we just have a little more…accommodating to incorporate is all.” He feels her breaths coming in slow and steady against his chest and knows she’s fallen asleep. Jon reaches over for the remote and puts the lights on dim, grabs his book and continues to read. He knows he should try and sleep as well, but he’s not ready. His mind is buzzing with all of the new possibilities this trip brings. He’s going home, Gallifrey…it’s been so long and he has no idea what type of reception he’ll receive.

Jon knows he didn’t abandon his duties as King; he has after all been running things from Cardiff with a significant amount of help from Donna. Still though, he’s been gone from Gallifrey and the public eye for a long time and he’s not so sure the public will be as understanding and forgiving as his council members. He thinks the homecoming will be more pleasant with Rose there. She’ll be calming for him as well as provide an air of stability to his title, should they choose to keep it. His reign has been unusual in more ways than one. First his parents died before he could be crowned, years before he should have even had to worry about such things. Then…the basement and Davros and River and the aftermath of that. He knew when they escaped he couldn’t go home, couldn’t be what Gallifrey needed him to be, he was just far too broken to be in charge of anything. Once he started getting his life together, started thinking maybe he could go home, his inability to form a connection to a potential partner stopped him again.

If he was to be King…properly, than he’d need a partner by his side and he just couldn’t seem to make that happen…until now…until Rose. She’s so strong, has so much determination and courage packed into that tiny little body of hers. Jon thinks she’s going to make a wonderful Queen, fair and strong, compassionate, intelligent. In so many ways…the most wonderful of ways Rose reminds him of his mum. Jon had given a lot of thought over the years, mostly at Donna’s urgent request, as to whether or not to abdicate his throne. It was never something he took lightly and was never something he was able to convince himself of doing. Also, he needs to explain to Rose that he technically is not the King…yet. At this point he’s still the Prince of Gallifrey. He never returned after the death of his parents, well that’s not true either. He did return once, for the burial ceremony, but he’s not been back since that day. There are several customs and procedures that need to be adhered to before he can actually be the King.

His attorneys will be here tomorrow, they will be able to explain the legalities of the situation to Rose. Jon knows they will be able to give her all of the proper information in a more…informative manner. He tends to become overly emotional and incapable of providing complete and proper information on the topic of Gallifrey. He places the book on his nightstand and turns the lights off before sliding as close to Rose as possible. Once he closes his eyes it takes but a second to bring up the last image he saw of his home and that is what he falls asleep to…home…Gallifrey…Rose.


	27. Chapter 27

“Okay Love, the attorneys will be here soon,” Jon says trying to stay calm. “Remember, these are my attorneys from Gallifrey, so if you have questions…well these would be the guys to ask. They’ll have information on everything we need to know about keeping or abdicating the throne as well as marital customs and really anything else you can think of.”

Rose smiles at Jon and looks herself over in the mirror one last time before heading to the living room. Donna is already setting out the tea service when they hear the doorbell ring. Jon starts for the door and stops, takes a breath and starts to the door again and stops. “Oh for the love of…” Donna trails off moving past him to open the door, “Well come in, we’re not going to get anything settled in the hallway,” she says, ushering the group of people into the living room.

As the group of 5 enters the living room Rose feels Jon’s level of anxiety spike and it freezes her. Clearly these were not the group of attorneys he was expecting she thinks to herself, trying to remember to smile and not just sick up on the floor in front of everyone. “Romana? Andred? I uh, well I didn’t realize you’d be tagging along,” Jon says trying for calm and definitely not achieving it.

“Jon, it’s wonderful to see you again, it’s been too long my friend,” Andred says shaking his hand.

“Hello Jon,” says the tall willowy brunette leaning in and kissing his cheek, “Did you really think that you could have Donna inform us that you’ve chosen a bride and no one from the council would show up?” Romana says in a haughty tone, making her way to Rose. “Hello Miss Tyler,” she says offering her hand, “My name is Romana, this is Andred. We are members of the Gallifreyan Council and came to answer any questions you may have regarding Gallifrey.”

“It’s Rose…just Rose,” she replies nervously shaking the offered hand.

“She’s but a child Jon,” Romana says snidely, taking in Rose’s diminutive form.

“Rose is not a child Romana,” Jon says snappishly, “You have no grounds…”

“I’m 27 actually,” Rose says retracting her hand and walking to Andred, “Certainly not a child by any standards,” she states resolutely. She knows Jon is freaking out, but these people will not intimidate her. Okay well…maybe a little…well…maybe a lot but she will not let them know that. “Now, as I understand it you have come to deliver information about Gallifrey. It’s clear that you’re unhappy with Jon’s choice for a bride, however that decision has been made,” Rose states firmly directing her attention to Romana, “As such we should move beyond that and focus on what information we need to move forward.”

Both Donna and Jon are stunned by the change in Rose. Jon knows of course that internally she’s a wreck. He can feel her through the bond and she is properly freaking out but none of that shows externally. Outwardly she is calm and relaxed, seems more than capable of holding her own and Jon is highly impressed. He walks over to Rose and entwines their fingers, assuring her and himself they are in this together. Jon looks to Romana and can see he’s not the only one surprised by Rose taking control of the situation. “Yes, I agree,” Romana says smiling slightly, “There’s no sense in arguing what will be a losing battle.”

“The first thing we need to do is make sure you understand what Gallifrey is and how it is run,” states Andred, “What have Jon and Donna explained to you Rose?”

Sensing this is no longer going to be a quick chat regarding the foundation Rose moves to the couch and sits down. “Jon had said that there were a few options regarding his leadership of Gallifrey. We could marry and retain his title, staying here or wherever we chose to live. We could return to Gallifrey and retain his title or he could abdicate, though the last option is the last option for a reason. He doesn’t want to abdicate,” Rose states evenly, forcing herself to remain calm and professional. She’s decided to handle this just like any other job interview, be herself, just less…messy. She thinks if she can remain professional she’ll make it through without embarrassing Jon, Donna or herself…maybe.

“Yes, that is correct…mostly,” states Andred looking over to Jon, disbelief clearly showing in his features. “First I will explain a little about Gallifrey and how it is managed. Gallifrey is a constitutional monarchy. Do you know what that means,” he asks Rose kindly.

“No,” she sighs, catching the smile quirk on Romana’s face at her lack of knowledge.

“A constitutional monarchy basically means the sovereign reigns but does not rule over the determined territory. There exist two different types of constitutional monarchies in the modern world - executive and ceremonial. In executive monarchies, the monarch wields significant, though not absolute power. The monarchy under this system of government is a powerful political institution. By contrast, in ceremonial monarchies, the monarch holds little actual power or direct political influence. Gallifrey is an executive constitutional monarchy. Any questions thus far?” Andred asks Rose.

“No,” is her response yet again. She has no questions really; she’s not an idiot and can follow along.

“Wonderful, you’re a bright young lady,” Andred says smiling and winking at her, “Basically there are only minimal differences between the politics in Gallifrey and the Politics here in England. We have a King or a Queen and though they do have more political power than your Queen here, it is still limited. We have a council, which you would refer to here as parliament and the people of Gallifrey elect them to their position. We have a Prime Minister as well, though his job is slightly different from your Prime Minister here, as I said the King does retain some power in Gallifrey. The day to day running of the country is left to the council and the Prime Minister. However, the King may veto laws adopted by the council, he can call referenda, propose new legislation, and dissolve the council, although dissolution of council may be subject to a referendum. Still no questions?” he asks again.

“So basically, Jon is King. There is a Prime Minister and a council to run day to day matters and Jon has the authority to throw out whatever he doesn’t like or agree with without argument from you or the voting populous. He also holds the right to get rid of the council at his whim, however without proper reason to do so the people will vote on that…that’s a referenda correct,” Rose asks, desperately tying for confidence?

“You are quite surprising Miss Tyler,” Romana says impressed, “We hadn’t expected you to have an understanding of your own political structure much less that of Gallifrey. From the information the council was provided on you we had expected…someone different. With that said I must apologize to you for my contemptible behavior when I first arrived,” she states bowing at the waist in front of Rose.

“Oh…uh…yeah you don’t need to do that…please,” Rose says flushing with embarrassment, “All is um…forgiven yeah, let’s just get back to the explanation part of things, you’re not the first person to think I’m stupid after all.”

“Of course,” Romana says standing back up and allowing Andred to continue.

“The next thing you need to know is that Jon is not the King of Gallifrey, at least not yet. He is at this time still the Prince. Jon has not returned to actually accept the title or position. This is a minor detail and easily rectified should he choose to retain his title. Jon made a decision shortly after his reappearance to give the people of Gallifrey a vote as to whether he would abdicate and allow a new family to take over the title or they could allow him to reign in absentia. The population voted overwhelmingly to allow him to retain his title and perform his duties from here. This was the first time a vote of this kind was put into their hands and the people of Gallifrey were truly honored that he allowed them that decision. I believe Rose that you have made a wise decision in choosing to come to Gallifrey prior to the wedding. This will give the people a chance to meet you. They are very protective of their future King. Many of them watched Jon grow from a boy into a man. In addition to that, they have all grieved the loss of his and Donna’s parents. It was a hard time for Gallifrey, having them taken so young,” Andred says sadly and looking to Jon.

“Jon,” Romana says grabbing his attention, “There are other matters which we need to discuss with you privately.”

“No, anything that has to do with me has to do with Rose. We have no secrets between us Romana,” he says tersely. Jon doesn’t understand her behavior, Romana is usually much more…pleasant…sociable.

“Very well, no secrets from our future Queen,” Romana says rolling her eyes, “What about Donna?”

“Donna has known me the whole of my existence Romana, I have nothing to hide from her,” he says sitting next to Rose.

Rose sees Romana look to Andred and she is certain she can feel hesitation and worry from them both. She taps into her bond with Jon and can feel his wariness as well, but it’s different from what she’s getting from the other two. Jon entwines their fingers and says, “Just get on with it.”

“About 13 years ago, shortly after you turned up from your yearlong disappearance we were sent a videotape,” Romana says, stopping and looking directly at him, “Am I correct in assuming you as well as our future Queen know what is on that tape?”

“What tape,” Donna asks warily? “Jon? What’s she talking about? You’ve never mentioned any tape being delivered to Gallifrey and I certainly didn’t send one. Did you have someone else send it to them? Why would you do that?”

“The tape did not come to through the Prince, Ms. Noble,” Andred states quietly lowering his head.

Jon knows what the tape is, of course he does. Things had gone too well up to this point for something to not cock it up. Jon stands; pacing the room in silent thought and feels all eyes watching him. Rose already knows about Davros and the basement; they have talked about it a few times now. Donna however does not. He never wanted Donna to know what happened to him. Jon didn’t think he could handle her mothering and pity if she was to know but that was years ago now. He’s okay now…mostly. She’s going to find out and he knows now that she will. Donna will not rest until she’s seen the video and he definitely does not want that.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Yes,” Jon states resolutely, “As I said there are no secrets between Rose and me.” Jon then turns to Donna and says, “You may want to sit down Donna. The information you’re going to hear will not sit well.”

“What’s going on,” she asks sitting on the table, looking to Andred for an explanation?

Romana is the one to speak however, “During your…imprisonment…” she says faltering with the words, “I’m unsure how to continue My Prince,” Romana says bowing to Jon.

“Romana, don’t…don’t do that. I’ve asked you before please call me Jon and none of the bowing stuff,” he says agitated but still kind. “Donna, that year that I was gone…” he stops and closes his eyes. Jon tightens his grip on Rose’s hand (Deep breath in, deep breath out). “Jack and I, along with a young woman named River were kidnapped and kept for over a year,” he finally pushes out.

“What? You’ve never said, no one has ever said anything like that!” Donna screeches, “How could you keep that from me Jon?”

He’s frozen, doesn’t know what to say and what not to say in the face of Donna’s fury. How much information to provide? What he’s comfortable talking about…well none of it he thinks and he looks over to Rose. She can feel his sadness and fear at the truth being revealed. He never wanted to appear broken or weak to his people or friends and now…he has no choice but to come clean. Rose thinks back to the beginning of the bond and tries to push all her love and support at him and he falters beneath it; tears coursing down his face and the flush of embarrassment at his inability to control himself showing on his neck and face.

Rose stands and looks over to Donna and then back to Jon. She then looks to Romana and Andred, both of who are looking at her. She had expected them to be looking at Jon, waiting for his explanation. As she looks at Jon again and then back to the council members she understands she’s going to have to tell Donna. This…at least as far as the council is concerned is a measure of her worthiness for their Prince; a test to see if she can make the hard decisions and how she handles the dissemination of terrible information.

Rose looks directly to Romana, squares her shoulders and glares just a little, enough to let her know she is up to the task but certainly not happy about it. Rose turns to Donna and says, “This will be unpleasant at minimum for you to hear Donna…”

“If there’s a video can’t I just watch that, certainly it would provide the information in the complete form,” Donna asks, fear and fury warring in her features?

She walks over and takes Donna’s hands in hers and smiles sadly, “Donna you’ll not want to see what’s on that tape…ever. Jon was abducted along with Jack and River by a man who locked them in a basement for over a year. During that time all three of them were subjected to the most brutal forms of torture as a means of entertainment for Davros,” Rose states compassionately.

“What…what kind of torture,” Donna asks in a small voice, sure she doesn’t want to know but knowing that she needs to know? If the council knows and has come to talk about it, Jon will need her to know.

Rose does not want to provide specific details to her if Jon wants to elaborate later that will be his decision. She knows she needs to find a way to make Donna understand without the embarrassment of Jon in front of her or his council. The only way she can do that is through her own experiences, by explaining to Donna that Jon had lived through the same type of…situation. That in turn means divulging her past to the council. Complete transparency Jon had said when talking of his parents. No decision has been made yet as to whether Jon will abdicate or retain his position and Rose knows that she must gain the trust of his council if they are to accept her position by his side. “Complete transparency,” she whispers to herself just as Jon reaches for her hand.

He doesn’t say anything, merely squeezes her hand in a gesture to let her know she does not have to do this. Rose taps fully into the bond and tries to reassure him that she can handle this. It’s an odd test of her loyalty to Jon she thinks, but then again royalty is weird. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Donna you are aware of what I went through with Jimmy yeah?” she asks.

“Yes, of course,” she says lowering her eyes; the mention of her past bringing forth Donna’s own memories of a much younger and brutally damaged Rose.

“Jon’s, Jack’s and River’s experiences were very similar to my own,” Rose says pausing and looking to Donna. She’s not made the connection yet and Rose knows she will have to explain further. She had been hoping up to this point that Donna would make the connection all on her own.

“What does that mean, similar,” Donna hesitates as she asks?

Rose decides to just lay it out for her directly but respectfully. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Jon was drugged, beaten and raped. The man who captured them had a drug that made them very…compliant to suggestion. This drug also increased aggressiveness. He would drug certain captives and force them to beat and rape the others. Jon was resistant to the drug somehow and refused to comply with the demands set forth by their captor. Because of this he was punished severely. This man videotaped the beatings and rapes. At least one of those videos was delivered to the council. After a year of being held, Jon escaped and saved as many people as he could, including Jack,” Rose states, trying to maintain a professional demeanor but the tears making tracks down her face are an obvious tell that this is hard on her. “I know this is difficult to absorb and I’m sure you’re hurt by Jon not telling you sooner, but this is…living through something like that…you don’t just go around advertising it. Do you understand?” Rose asks quietly.

Donna stays silent for a few moments as she tries to process this new information. She had known that something happened with him and Jack; she had known it was awful, but she never thought it was this. As the information settles within her so many things begin to make sense. Jon’s inability to date, to be intimate with anyone, his reticence to being touched by anyone…even her. His push to get through school and his complete dismissal of returning to Gallifrey…everything clicks into place and she has a clear understanding of so many things now. She turns to Jon with tears in her eyes and says, “I’m so sorry Jon that you had to go through that and I’m sorry you felt the need to keep it hidden. I understand, but still…I wish you would have said.”

“Donna, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…well no I’m not actually, but I am sorry that not telling you hurt you. This was not something I wanted anyone to know…ever. Rose being the obvious exception,” he says softly before turning to Andred and Romana, “So the entire council has seen the video?” he asks calmly. All trace of emotional distress disappearing from his features as he prepares himself for whatever is next.

“No, well yes,” Andred states, “All of the council members who were in position at the time have seen the tape. Some of them have retired and some of course have passed away. There is a bigger issue at hand here, but before we get into that I must say,” he turns to Rose, “You handled that exceptionally well Rose. It was a very straight forward explanation with little emotion present in your demeanor and voice, yet still compassionate and considerate of the feelings and emotions surrounding such topics. You continue to impress and rise to each challenge put in front of you, well done.”

Rose wants to be upset, angry, totally pissed off that they made her do that as some fucking test and she is…a little. She also understands they all have roles to play and jobs to do, and these two people here…now are only doing their job. “I can be whatever I need to be for Jon,” she says coldly, “What’s next? I’d like to get to the part where everyone can be a little nicer yeah?”

“This brings us to the larger issue that Andred mentioned,” Romana states, “Another video was sent to the council 2 weeks ago.”

“2 weeks ago,” Donna asks? “What sense does that make? Send one video 13 years ago and another now? Is it the same tape?”

“No, this tape is not of the Prince,” Romana says lowering her vision as well as her voice.

“Well, what is it then,” Donna demands?

Rose feels an intense wave of panic from Andred and sorrow from Romana and she knows without doubt what the video is. She immediately tries locking down her bond with Jon, hoping she dampened it before he could feel what she’s feeling and turns to look at him. Just by the look on his face she can tell it wasn’t soon enough, he knows too. Jon stands and takes her hand leading her away from the group of people, out the front door and into the hall. He immediately folds himself around her and she allows herself to fall apart in his arms. They have seen it, the video that Jimmy made of her, wasted on heroin, covered in her own sick, begging him to just kill her already as he beats and rapes her over and over. She allows herself only a moment of complete disintegration before she pulls herself together.

Rose pulls herself from Jon’s arms and he sees her once more straighten her shoulders and stand tall. She wipes the tears from her face and tightens her grip on his hand, “I’m okay, let’s get this over with yeah?” she says with determination and a soft smile, “It’s all just memories now Jon, that is not our life any longer and some arsehole sending a tape of it doesn’t change that.”

Jon stops and places his hands on her face, his forehead to hers and she’s overcome with his emotions so forcefully that he has to help her remain standing. He knows no matter how put together she is externally, it’s a show. She cannot hide what she’s really feeling from him and he knows how horrific this is for her. She’s so brave, courageous, resilient, wonderful…his Rose. She’s handled this day with more dignity and grace than he has certainly. “Rose we don’t have to continue this any further, you have nothing to prove to me,” Jon says quietly.

“No, not to you, but to them I do, and they’re right,” she says, pulling away and looking him in the eyes. “They have a job to do. It is their job to protect you and Gallifrey yeah? Making sure I’m up to the task, it’s not them picking on me, I know that. I’m also not as fragile as they seem to think, as I said earlier I can be whatever you need me to be.”

“I just need you to be you Rose. I’ll not have them thinking they can change who you are just because you do not meet their idea of what you should be,” he states firmly before leading them back inside.

“Right then,” Rose says as they reenter the room, “Some arsehole delivered you a tape of me yeah? Since we all know what’s on the tape it doesn’t need discussing. What’s the issue?”

“Again you continue to impress Rose,” Romana states, “I am not sure I could have handled such information as gracefully.”

“Thank you, but I’ve had a while to deal with my past, so what’s the issue?” Rose asks again.

“The issue is that your tape Rose was not only furnished to the council but all of the media outlets in Gallifrey as well,” Andred says lowering his gaze from Jon.

This is not good Rose thinks; in fact this is very, very bad. Jon’s anger is instantaneous and flaring against her skull, painful and disorienting as she falls to the couch clutching either side of her head. “Jon,” she says gasping for breath through the pain and fury he’s exuding. “Jon please,” she tries again tears now running down her face. It’s enough to grab his attention, enough to force himself to reign in his anger and the pain starts dissipating. All of this does not go unnoticed by the attorneys and council members watching the interaction very closely. And that fact is not missed by Donna, neither does she miss the worried, knowing glance that pass from Romana to Andred and his acknowledgement of it.

Jon tries to calm himself, knows he needs to remain in control and can feel Rose trying to calm him as well. He closes his eyes, breathes deeply in and out several times before he’s rational enough to continue. “Did they air the tape?” he asks still moderating his breathing. He thinks it’s odd that he cannot feel any fear or anger from Rose about this, maybe she locked him out again? But no, she promised she would never, not ever again do that. Just then he hears her, in his head, “ ** _stay strong, stay strong, stay strong_** ,” the sensation of that is still new and it catches him off guard.

“Yes, My Prince, the tape was aired,” Romana says, bowing before him.

Rose closes her eyes willing the tears away and tightens her grip on Jon’s hand once more before she says, “And the issue would be what? Because neither of you have answered that question yet? And please quit bowing to us, Jon has asked that already, it’s…well weird and off putting.”

“The issue is that the tape was aired Rose,” Andred says confused.

“No,” states Rose resolutely, rising from the couch, “That was an act committed; I want to know what issue the committed act caused. They are not the same thing.”

Andred looks to Romana and then Jon before his eyes land again on Rose, confusion marring his features. “I’m sorry Rose, I do not believe we understand what you’re asking of us?” he says.

Rose blows out a deep breath and tries again calmly, “I understand the tape was given to the media and aired. What I don’t know is the outcome of the tape being aired. Does the entirety of Gallifrey know what they were shown? Do they know that I am his fiancé? Do they know these acts were committed against their potential future Queen? If they do know that the girl in the video is Jon’s fiancé, were they angry? Unhappy with his decision for a wife, rioting in the streets, did someone step up saying that he was unfit to rule because of it. The airing of the tape is not the issue; it is an act that may have caused an issue. So again I ask what…the…issue…is?” she says exaggerating the pause between each of the last words.

Jon is astounded with Rose’s reaction to this information. She’s not falling apart, she’s not even that upset about it. He feels her concern for him roll over him in waves as he taps into the bond, but that’s it. He feels no fear or worry for herself in this matter, a hint of irritation he assumes is due to the lack of an answer and a strong feeling of…determination. “You heard the lady, answer her,” he commands, his voice harsh and impatient.

“No, there has been no negative response to the video, save for one person,” replies Andred quickly, “I’m sorry Rose, but you seem very accepting of this video. Are you not upset that it was viewed?”

Rose turns her vision to the council members and gives them a look that shows how completely stupid that question is before she rolls her eyes and says, “Of course I’m bothered by it, but it’s already been seen hasn’t it? Can’t really change that now can we? All we can do is move forward into damage control and minimize the problems this causes as quickly and thoroughly as possible. Look, I’m sorry if my behavior is shocking or disturbing for you, but well…I don’t care. If you came here expecting the same weak, broken, begging, sobbing girl you saw in the video…than I’m so sorry to disappoint you. I am not that girl anymore, haven’t been for a very long time,” she realizes as she says it that it’s true.

Rose is no longer the weak, simpering, broken, useless waste of a human that was on that tape and she stands just a bit taller. She looks Romana and Andred right in the eyes and says, “That was a long time ago and I am neither embarrassed nor ashamed of that video. I did not do anything to be ashamed or embarrassed about. The acts committed against me on that tape were disgusting and reprehensible. The man who committed them has been dealt with, as I’m sure you already know. No person, man or woman should ever have to go through that, but those of who have…we have to make a choice. We can let what happened break us, tear us down and make us nothing, or we can become something, someone new. If the actual rape and torture didn’t break me then, what makes you think a video of it is going to break me now?” she states in a strong tone laced with determination and just a hint of irritation.

This is what she came to see, thinks Romana. The information the council had been furnished regarding Rose detailed a broken woman. It spoke of someone who was meek and incapable of caring for herself let alone another person, or in this case an entire country. That information appears to be quite misleading however. This woman before her now is not broken or meek she thinks to herself. She sees Rose standing tall, squared shoulders, head held high and one hip cocked out to the side with her hand resting there. It’s obvious that Rose’s confidence is a work in progress, but it’s something to build on. With the proper training and assistance, Romana thinks she can turn Rose into a proper Queen for Gallifrey. “There was no negative response to the video as Andred stated. The people of Gallifrey have been informed that Jon has chosen a bride and yes they know it is the girl in the video,” Romana states with little emotion, “I believe we have the information we came for Andred, we should be retiring to our hotel and let the attorneys do what they are paid to do.”

“And exactly what information were you seeking Romana?” Jon asks harshly.

“Whether Rose would be fit to be your Queen Jon,” Romana replies arrogantly.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “What is your determination then?” asks Rose hesitantly, interrupting the temper tantrum Jon was about to throw. There’s no need for it, she understands they are doing their job. Gallifrey and Jon, they are here to protect them and Rose cannot fault the council for that.

“I plan to inform the council we have nothing to fear. Though you were not at all what we expected to find, it was a pleasant surprise. I have found you to be strong, loyal, compassionate, honest and to my extreme delight quite intelligent,” Andred says smiling at Rose, “Should you continue to exhibit these qualities the people of Gallifrey will be very fortunate to have you as their Queen Rose. Now if you’ll excuse Romana and me, we really need to be going and you have some things to work out with the attorneys regarding your foundation. It was lovely to meet you Rose. Jon, Donna,” he says bowing before Jon, “Always a pleasure. Come along Romana, let’s leave them to their business,” he says heading to the door.

“I am sorry Rose, to have put you through all of this,” Romana states in a much softer tone than she’d used previously, “Normally I would never put someone through reliving that ordeal but I had a job to do and I hope that will not affect our interactions moving forward. I am looking forward to getting to know you. Thank you for your time and we’ll see you at the airport tomorrow,” she says bowing to Jon and Rose before heading to the door with Andred.

Rose wastes no time discussing the council and turns to the attorneys saying, “Right…you lot, what have you got for us?”

The three attorneys start scrambling with their cases producing files upon files of information. Rose turns to Jon with a pleading look and he says, “How about you just give us a rundown of the information guys.”

“Setting up the foundation is a simple process. Since money is no issue it will be fast and easy. Right now all we need to know is what you want the foundation to be. Who will it be targeting and the like. How many sites do you want and where you want them. Once you have given us that information we can start to move forward with licensing and permits and such,” the head attorney states flatly.

“Great,” Jon says shaking his hand, “Thanks for doing this so quickly. Rose and I will discuss the specifics and get back to as soon as possible,” he says, escorting them to the door and closing it behind them.

“Well that could have gone worse,” Donna states as Jon comes back into the room.

“Rose, are you okay?” he asks running his hands up and down her arms.

She quirks her brow at him and says, “You should be able to tell through the bond Jon,” she laughs just a little.

“Well…yes, I could do that,” he says smiling, “but I really am trying to only use it when necessary.”

“I’m fine,” she says shrugging her shoulders, “I’m a little concerned that someone delivered that tape, but overall I was mostly worried how it was going to affect you.”

“You amaze me everyday Love,” he says softly, placing his forehead to hers.

“And not just you apparently,” Donna says happily. “This is all going to happen so much easier now that the council has approved. I mean, sure you could have married anyways, but this just makes things so much easier,” she sighs out collapsing onto the couch.

“They still don’t know about the baby or the bond,” Rose states, “I’m sure that is information they would have wanted.”

“I didn’t want to say anything about the baby until we’ve decided what to do Love. Once we’re in Gallifrey and you have some time to really consider the options, once we make a decision on how we want to move forward in our lives, then I’ll fill them in on the rest,” Jon says, his forehead still pressed to hers, his words soft and quiet. Rose’s words from their first day together run through his mind, “ _I’m not normal. I’m not brave or strong. I’m not smart. I am a little more than broken as you put it earlier._ ” She’s definitely not normal and yes maybe she’s still a little broken, but she is so strong, so brave and more intelligent than even he gave her credit for. “You handled everything so well today Rose, better than me certainly,” he says still quiet and soft.

“Handled Romana like a champ she did,” Donna says laughing, “Did you see the look on her face when Rose shut her down? Oh, but that was a beautiful moment! I’m not sure how you kept your cool Rose. I must admit I was a bit impressed myself. Not that I expected you to fall apart mind, but I sure as hell wasn’t expecting you to…well…put the council in their place,” she says cackling.

“I can be whatever Jon needs me to be,” she replies, her forehead still pressed to Jon’s and her voice quiet.

“ ** _I can be whatever Jon needs me to be, I can be whatever Jon needs me to be, I can be whatever Jon needs me to be_** ,” he hears over and over in his head like a mantra, as if she’s trying to convince herself it’s true. “You already are Rose,” he whispers.

“What do you mean by that then,” Donna asks her, oblivious to the private communication happening between them?

“The day Amy and I had that argument about…shopping,” she says grimacing, feeling like that was a lifetime ago now and also such a ridiculous thing to be upset about, “Amy had made a comment about being a proper grown up when Rory needed her to be. I didn’t understand that until today, not really.”

“Still not following,” Donna says confused.

“This moment in time is but a moment in time,” she says with a far off look on her face. Rose shakes herself from wherever she disappeared to and says, “I can be anything for a moment Donna. Strong, smart, funny, brave, whole; I can be all of these for a moment is what I mean. Maintaining them for an extended period of time…well…that may be a bigger challenge.”

“Whatever,” Donna says getting up from the couch, “I’ve dinner with Lee in 30 minutes. I’ll see you both at the University in the morning,” she says, the door closing behind her.

“Are you hungry?” Jon asks, “We could do take out and telly?”

“Actually, I uh…” (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I think we should cancel the appointment at the University tomorrow,” she says looking down at her chucks. She knows Jon thinks she should go back to school and she knows he’ll be disappointed, but she just feels there’s too much going on already. This relationship with Jon, the bond, the marriage, her mum, the pregnancy, the foundation, the council from Gallifrey, going to Gallifrey itself and preparing herself to be Queen; it’s a lot…already too much she thinks, adding classes on top of that…no…she’s barely managing now.

“Yeah?” he asks grinning at her, “I think that’s probably a good decision.”

Rose snaps her head up to see him smiling at her and a confused look crosses her face, “You’re not upset,” she says…it’s a statement not a question. She know he isn’t upset because of the bond, he’s just there…hanging out in her head. Rose can feel many different things from Jon right now; pride, love, happiness, fear, worry, self doubt and a jumble of others as well, not disappointment or anger though. “Yeah, it’s just…well there’s a lot going on already,” she says, exhaustion lacing her voice, “I’m not sure I should be signing up for school or whatever right now. I mean we don’t even know where we’re going to live yeah? Once we’re married,” she sighs out, (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Once you’ve been crowned…” she trails off.

“Rose, I could care less if you go back to school or not but you already know that. How about we discuss what’s really bothering you,” he says.

He sees her close her eyes, “I’m scared. Everything is happening so fast and most of the time it feels as though I’m being drug along by the current and it’s all I can do to keep my head above water,” she says, the words falling from her lips rushed, stuttering and he feels her levels of anxiety spike as she opens the bond to him fully.

It’s harsh and powerful, her stress. It almost takes him to the ground it slams into him so forcefully. Had she been that tightly wound all day? How could he have not known, not sensed it. He felt her anxiety earlier as well as her determination to not be bullied by Romana, so he knows she didn’t lock him out of the bond. She promised she’d never do that again and he believes that she won’t. So how did she mask that level of fear and stress from him all fucking day? “Rose,” he croaks out reaching for her, folding himself around her and burying his face into her neck, “How did you do that? Hide that all day, not just from me but from everyone?” He watched her very closely all day and save that one moment in the hall she never faltered, never showed even a hint of weakness.

“I can control it now. How open or closed it is, how much I let you feel from me,” she mumbles into his chest and he can feel her breathing him in again. Rose can feel his irritation with that information, knows he doesn’t want her masking her emotions from him but really what other choice did she have at the time?

“We agreed Rose,” he mumbles against her skin obviously upset but not moving away from her.

“No, we agreed that I would not lock you out and I didn’t,” she says back just as much exasperation in her voice as his. “Romana and Andred came here expecting to find a broken, weak, sniveling slip of a girl. If I had not diminished the strength of the bond you would have gone into over-protective mode and started growling at the council or I don’t know thrown them from the flat at least,” she says trying to reign in her own irritation.

“Yeah,” he sighs out as he feels some of her anxiety lessen. “So we can both control how open it is now?”

“I don’t have the ability to tap in and out of the bond like you do, just to lessen it or increase it,” she says pulling away from him and sighing. “It should be almost complete now if Amy’s timetable is correct. I’m sure we’ll continue to figure out more stuff about it but I am relieved to not be sick anymore at least.

“Still, I wish you wouldn’t do that,” he says following her to the couch and sitting with her.

“Abdicating isn’t really an option is it?” she asks quietly, entwining their fingers and ignoring his statement.

“Of course,” he starts to say, but he realizes it wasn’t really a question it was a statement. “No, it’s not Love. I’m sorry but I just can’t.”

“It’s alright; I knew already,” she says, “That’s why I decreased the bond today. It’s so easy for me to fall apart for you ya know? And I couldn’t today. I had to show the council that you made the right choice. I had to prove they couldn’t break me. If I had left the bond open fully, you would have felt how terrified I was and stopped everything yeah? If abdicating is not an option and being apart is not an option…well…that only leaves one option,” she states with finality in her tone.

“What do you mean only one option? And what do you mean by falling apart for me is easy,” he asks confused? There is more than one option for them and they have discussed this already. They could stay here, live away from Gallifrey like his parents and several generations before that even, they could move back to Gallifrey and stay there, they could…well okay, two options he supposes, but still it’s more than one.

“I **am** going to be your Queen Jon, regardless of where we live. You **are** going to be crowned; we **are** going to be married, we **are** going to have at least one child,” she says firmly. “These things are not ‘if’ but when. In light of that realization today, there was no better time to start behaving as such. The falling apart comment, well…I’ve been on my own for a long time. I didn’t have friends or any family for the last 10 years to cry to. The bond allowed me to trust you completely and almost instantly yeah? After not trusting anyone for a very long time, well…it just makes it easy to fall apart for you. I know that afterwards you won’t see me as weak and you already know I’m broken,” she says shrugging her shoulders.

“I get it,” Jon says leaning in to kiss her, “It’s the same for me,” he mumbles against her lips. And it is he thinks as he pushes her down into the couch and lies atop her. He was never able to just be him after they escaped. No one ever saw him cry or in fear, always wearing a mask he put in place before he left his room. He doesn’t have to do that with Rose. She knows everything about him and she still loves him, wants him, he thinks as he slips his tongue into her mouth and feels hers glide against his in response.

Gentle kissing quickly becomes passionate as clothes are shed and hands roam everywhere they can reach. Her hand goes into his hair and her nails rake down his back as she tries for friction. Rose thinks she should be embarrassed at how quickly he has her spiraling out of control, but she missed this. She hadn’t been able to even touch him today unsure of what was acceptable in front of the council. Wasting no time, Rose wraps her hand around his already hard shaft and rubs it against her soaking lips, coating him in her slickness and forcing a groan of pleasure from his throat.

Lips on her neck, right…there, one hand in her hair so he can guide her where he wants her, the other hand slipping between them, gently brushing over her clit as it moves to her hot center, two fingers slipping into her and…there’s the reaction he was waiting for he thinks as she pushes herself up seeking more from him and panting heavily in his ear.

“Please, want you now, please,” she begs him in a breathy, quiet voice; the heat from her words against his neck pulling another moan from him.

“Not yet, it feels like I haven’t touched you in days Rose and you feel so fucking good. God you’re so wet and hot and tight and fuck, I love you so much," he says biting into the flesh of her neck and slowing his rhythmic stroking of his fingers inside of her, brushing her clit with his thumb a few times before pressing down. He can feel her internal walls fluttering around his fingers and he knows she’s close; her breathing coming in pants, her words incomprehensible as she writhes and moves beneath him. He feels the electricity starting to build in his spine and spreading to the rest of his body; removes his hand and at the same times sheathes himself fully inside of her in one stroke and she shatters around him.

“Jon, fuck, don’t…don’t stop, Oh God,” Rose screams as her muscles contract around his cock again and again. He starts bucking into her wildly, groans and grunts and gasps being pulled from his throat. Any restraint he had fleeing as her orgasm rushes through her and he loses control over the bond, opening it back up and her emotions crash over him, his climax so forceful it’s almost painful to him. He feels her body go rigid beneath him and he thrusts into her a few more times before collapsing on top of her, gasping for much needed oxygen.

As the moments pass, they lay there quietly running hands over sweat slicked skin and placing gentle kisses wherever their mouths can reach, simply enjoying the calm moment. “A storms coming,” he says running his fingers softly over her stomach.

“What?” she asks caught off guard by his comment.

“Can’t you feel it Rose? It’s like a metallic tang in the air,” he says standing and pulling her up with him. “We should head to the room, Jack may be home soon. Plus we have a long day tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” she says following him down the hall, “Mum’s coming in tomorrow and I’ll have to explain everything before we get on the plane. I had been hoping to explain during the flight, but Romana and Andred being there kinda killed that idea.”

“I say we quit worrying for tonight, go to bed, and get some sleep…or not,” he says grinning salaciously and waggling his eyebrows at her.

“Yeah,” Rose says as she returns his filthy smile.


	28. Chapter 28

“Rose? Rose, what are you doing? It’s 5:00 am come back to bed,” Jon slurs sleepily.

“Packing,” she responds, “Since you’re up…um…how long are we going to be there? What kind of clothes will I need? Do I need fancy dress clothes? If so I’ll have to go to the shops before we leave. I have dresses but nothing to put them in to travel. Do I need business type clothes; you know um, suits and whatnot? Is it hot or cold there? What’s the weather like? It’s February now, so probably still cold yeah?” she rushes the words out, throwing piles of clothing on the bed.

“Rose, it’s 5:00 am, come back to bed Love. The plane doesn’t even leave for 13 hours and it’s my bloody plane they’ll not leave without us even if we’re late,” he says reaching for her. “Not late, why would we be late?” he hastily states after seeing the look on her face. Jon feels how nervous she is, how scared she is and he rises from the bed and pulls on his jimjams. “Right packing, okay then,” he says looking about the room and seeing several half filled suitcases. She seems…well a complete mess this morning if he’s being honest. “Rose, how long have you been up packing?”

“Only about an hour…or so,” she says not stopping her rapid movements between the bed and the closet.

He knows it’s been more than an hour, if the bond didn’t inform him of her misinformation the amount of crap spread about their room certainly would. “And by an hour or so, do you mean at least 3 hours?” he says smiling at her.

“Uh…maybe,” she says sheepishly finally stopping in the center of the room and dropping everything to the floor in a huff, “I have no idea what to bring Jon, and nothing…” she trails off whining.

“Nothing what?” he asks.

“I cannot even believe I’m going to say this, but…well…(Deep breath in, deep breath out) I have nothing to wear,” she says in an exaggerated whiny voice with her bottom lip pushed out.

“What?” he says with a snort of laughter, “What’s all this then?”

“Reject piles,” she states flatly.

“Right, reject piles of…clothing. Rose, do you think maybe you’re overreacting just a bit?” he asks laughing and shaking his head at her. Jon instantly realizes that was a mistake as Rose’s emotions roll over him and he sees the tears forming in her eyes.

“I’ve never…they have only ever…seen me…on that tape,” she says brokenly between the sobs escaping her throat.

Jon moves to Rose and pulls her to himself, resting her head on his chest and his head on her shoulder. As he looks about the chaotic mess that their room has become, he realizes she has subconsciously matched her external environment to her internal environment. Messy on the inside, messy on the outside, hmm…interesting bit of information he thinks. “I’m sorry Love, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he says running his hands up and down her back. Jon walks her over to the bed and sits her down before he grabs his phone from the bedside table and hits speed dial 5, “Morning, yes I am aware of what time it is. Yes, this is Jon. Yeah, no need for all that. Listen, as I’m sure you’ve been made aware I will be coming back to Gallifrey tonight and I need a few things to be ready when we arrive,” he says to the unknown person on the other end of the line, “Rose uh…what size clothes do you wear?”

“What?” she asks quietly trying to stop her tears, “uh…5…mostly in jeans, and shirts are a medium, 6 ½ shoes, 32 C for a bra, small in knickers.”

“Great thanks,” he smiles at her before turning his attention back to the phone call, “Did you get all that? Lovely, I’ll need clothes as well. Yes she is. Yes, uh…blonde, light brown eyes, fair skin…err…about 5’3ish. Oh you must be daft to think I’d answer that,” he chuckles and hands the phone to Rose, “here, it’s my assistant; he needs to speak with you about…stuff.”

“Hello,” Rose says quietly after taking the phone.

Jon heads to the loo and closes the door behind him. He hadn’t even considered what that would be like for Rose and now he feels like a prat. He performs his morning ablutions and heads back to the bedroom. Rose is off the phone, dashing about the room putting things back in their proper places and he cannot help the smile that rises on his face. He wonders as he watches her if she even realizes she’s still naked. “Everything worked out?” he asks, amusement clear in his tone.

She stops at the sound of his voice, rushes over to him reaching up and kissing him soundly before pulling away and continuing to clean up the mess. All anxiety and worry wiped away and he can feel her happiness radiating through the bond. “Yep,” she replies popping the p sound, “I asked him to get some stuff for mum too, is that okay. I should have asked first, I…I’m sorry I didn’t. I just…well mum was worried about not having anything posh enough so I just…”

“Rose it’s perfectly fine,” he says stepping up to her and halting her movements, “There’s not a better time to discuss this I suppose,” he states on a sigh as he sits her back down on the bed.

“Discuss what?” she asks, her anxiety spiking and rushing over him.

“Relax Love,” he says softly, “It’s just that, well…we’re to be married Rose,” his smile widens as hers does. “That means any authority I have, you have as well. You do not need to ask permission to get yourself or your mother or anyone really…stuff. Whatever is at my disposal is now at yours as well,” he places his fingers to her lips to ward off her argument. “This is our life now Rose, a life you agreed to by the way. You said you understood that I could not abdicate my position in Gallifrey and you supported that decision. That means you have agreed to take your position at my side,” he says firmly but softly.

Jon sees her eyes close, sees the familiar breath in and breath out, watches as her hunched form becomes straight and tall, well…as tall as someone who’s 5’3 in heels can be he supposes. It’s almost like watching a caterpillar transform into a butterfly he thinks. There has yet to be a day where she hasn’t impressed or amazed him in some way, but this, watching her pull her broken pieces together to make a fully formed person…it’s astonishing to him.

She opens her eyes and takes another deep breath then says, “Right, you’re right. I need to be adult, together Rose, not babbling mess, completely chaotic messy Rose.”

“Actually,” he says grinning at her, “here and now you need to be just Rose, in whatever form that is at the moment. However, yes, when we arrive in Gallifrey you will need to be adult, pulled together Rose, just as I have to be adult, pulled together Jon. At least in front of other people,” he clarifies.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Yeah, I suppose I’m being a bit…ridiculous. I know, I just…” she trails off, sadness lacing her tone.

Jon pulls her over to him, settling her in his lap. Bad idea he thinks as he runs his hands across her naked form, stopping at her belly and laying his hand flat across it. “Just what Rose? We can’t fix it if you can’t even say what IT is Love,” he says softly to her.

“It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy yeah? They saw me on that tape, broken and begging and just…” she trails off with a sigh, “And now, that’s what they’ll expect to see. I’m terrified that’s what they are going to see. Does that make sense?”

“I get it. I do,” he says, “But that girl on the tape, that’s not who you are Rose. It may be who you were at one time, but not anymore. The only person who can show them that is you. This will be a challenge for both of us, but as with everything else thrown at us, it’s nothing we cannot handle together yeah?”

She takes a few moments to think about what he’s saying and decides he’s right. She can either keep stressing about this, which is pointless, there’s nothing she can do about it…or she can move forward. Rose climbs back into bed pulling Jon with her, “Set the alarm for 9 okay? Even if I don’t have to pack clothes there is still stuff that needs packing and I’ll not leave the room looking like this,” she says, curling into his side yawning, a moment later she’s asleep, Jon following closely behind her.

BAM! BAM! BAM! on the bedroom door startles them both from their sleep. The loud banging is followed by an even louder angry voice, “Rose Marion Tyler! Get you tiny white hiney out here this instant,” Jackie Tyler demands from the other side of the door.

Disorientated and startled from being woken up in such a way Rose just stays still for a moment. Maybe she’s having a nightmare? Nope not a nightmare she thinks as Jon gets out of bed and tosses jimjams to her. “Mum?” she hollers through the door, dressing quickly.

“Yes it’s your mum,” Jackie replies snappishly, “Get the hell out her right now!” she yells as Jon opens the door.

“Jackie? What’s…why are you here at 7 in the morning? Here in our flat…banging on the door and hollering like a banshee?” Jon asks, still somewhat dazed from the adrenaline running through his system.

“Rose? Rose get out here now,” Jackie says, completely ignoring Jon’s comments.

“Mum, what the matter?” Rose asked mildly panicked. Jackie wouldn’t be here without reason, so whatever it is…it’s either really good or…taking in the look on her mum’s face and the tone of her voice…really bad.

Jackie grabs Rose by the hand and pulls her to the living room, Jon following behind still half asleep and very confused. Rose stops and turns to Jackie and says, “What the hell is going on, why are you freaking out?”

Jackie reaches into her purse, pulls out a DVD and hands it to Rose. She doesn’t need to ask what it is, she knows by her mum’s behavior what’s on the DVD. Rose immediately tries to dampen the bond. She isn’t ready, this isn’t how she wanted this to happen, she had it all planned out…how to explain everything to her mum and it wasn’t at 7 in the bloody morning with no coffee and her mum having seen the fucking video and feeling sick…oh really sick actually she thinks, trying to make her way to the loo. Nope, not gonna make it she thinks just before doubling over and retching on the floor. Morning sickness…she knows the difference between stress puking and the morning sickness she’s had the last few days. Great…lovely…she thinks as she continues to vomit.

Jon rushes to her side helping her into the loo and closing the door behind them on a raging Jackie Tyler. “Morning sickness finally kicked in?” he asks quietly, pulling her hair from her face. She responds by nodding her head in confirmation. He stays there holding her hair and rubbing her back until it finally passes and hands her a glass of water. “Stay here, clean up and I’ll try and calm her down, maybe put on some coffee. I have a feeling this is going to be a longer day than we expected,” he says rising from the floor and leaving the room.

“Where’s Rose? Is she alright? Why’s she sickin’ up like that? Did you have her out drinkin’? Is she hungover?” Jackie rapidly fires at him as soon as he closes the door.

“Mrs. Tyler, please…just…shut up for a moment,” Jon says irritated, “Come into the kitchen with me. We need to talk while Rose cleans up and she’ll want coffee before dealing with the likes of you at 7 am,” he snaps at her.

“You just hold on Mister. You don’t get to speak to me like that,” she snaps back following him into the kitchen.

Jon slams his hand on the counter and turns to Jackie with fury lacing his features. “NO! You hold on Madame! How dare you come into our home and act this way! Obviously you have seen what is on the DVD and this is how you choose to respond to it?! If you for one fucking millisecond think I’m going to allow you to have a go at your daughter over that tape you best have another think on it!” he’s not yelling, but there is no mistaking the anger in his tone.

Jackie shies away from him and sits at the center island. Jon doesn’t say anything for a few moments as he makes coffee and tries to calm himself. Jackie is smart enough to know to keep her gob shut, he is pissed and it’s radiating off of him she thinks. He’s slamming things on the counter and mumbling to himself in an angry tone. Finally she sees him place both hands on the counter and take several deep breaths before he turns and sits across from her.

“Do not speak, do not interrupt me, not one time while I am talking or so help me Jacqueline Andrea Suzette Tyler I will toss your arse out of here so fast you will get fucking motion sickness,” Jon says snappishly, “If you understand and agree simply shake that thick fucking head of yours!”

Oh she’s gonna slap him good and proper once this is over Jackie thinks as she nods her head at him.

“What you saw on that video happened years ago now,” he begins, “Jimmy Stones is in prison, he’ll not be getting out ever, and Rose has dealt with this. It’s awful and I know how it must have affected you seeing that tape. I’m sorry that you found out like that, but in no way does that make your behavior this morning acceptable. Moving on from that…Rose was not out drinking, she does not have a hangover, she is pregnant and suffering morning sickness. Next up, we’ll be flying to Gallifrey tonight, you will be accompanying us. I am Jonathon Thomas Ardis, Prince and future King of Gallifrey. Rose and I are to be married…which as I’m sure even your thick fucking skull can understand means she is to be Queen of Gallifrey,” he says making sure to pace his words and remain calm, “Any questions Mrs. Tyler?”

Jon fishes his rundown of information just as Rose appears and he hands her a cup of coffee. “Your mum’s all caught up Love,” he says with a wicked grin at Jackie, “Jimmy, the video, the baby, the marriage, becoming royalty…did I miss anything? No? Well good. Rose I’m going to shower and get dressed.”

Rose looks at her mum taking in the information Jon dumped on her. She looks like some kind of statue Rose thinks. Jackie is frozen and silent; she’s not even blinking or breathing. “Mum,” Rose says loudly, snapping her fingers in Jackie’s face. Jackie takes a deep breath and blinks rapidly before smacking Rose’s hand out of her face.

“Rose what’s he on about? Babies, and Kings and Queens and royalty? Are you marring a nutter?” Jackie asks snidely.

“No,” Rose snaps at her loudly, “God mum, what makes you think this is okay. You cannot just storm into our home unannounced and try to treat me as if I’m your 16-year-old runaway daughter. Everything Jon told you is true. I was going to explain everything when we saw you later, before the flight, but well you’re already here ain’t ya? Just stompin’ round, yellin’ and screechin’ without any information at all! Don’t even bother to ask bout’ shit, just throwin’ a fucking temper tantrum! How the hell did you even get in here? This flat is locked down tighter than the fucking tower of bloody London!” Rose screams so loudly that Jack comes running into the kitchen.

“It was me, I let her in,” Jack says heading to grab coffee.

“Oh, well…okay then, at least you didn’t break in,” Rose says, finally lowering her voice and sitting across from Jackie.

“Am I allowed to speak now?” Jackie asks tersely.

“Only if you’re not going to be a raving bitch,” Jon says from the entryway, “I’ll not have you coming in here and upsetting Rose in her condition Jackie,” he says firmly.

Oh but she’s gonna give him an infamous Tyler slap the instant Rose isn’t lookin’ Jackie thinks to herself. “So, if I’m following this all correctly, Jon is royalty, you’re up the duff and this…DVD is something we’ll address later, privately. Correct?” she asks Rose, completely ignoring Jon.

“Incorrect,” Rose states, “There is no reason to discuss the video. You’ve seen it, you know what happened, I was there I know what happened. It was a long time ago, I’ve moved on. The only thing you need to know is that it was provided to the media outlets in Gallifrey and they aired it so be prepared for that. Sometime later, much later…we’ll get into all of that shit, but right now you need to stop actin’ crazy.”

“Fine,” Jackie says in a shitty tone, “I’ll leave the DVD alone…for now, but you best start explain’ all this other shit Rose,” she demands as Jack tries to sneak out of the kitchen unseen. Things are about to get ugly in here and he wants no part of that.

“No,” states Jon resolutely taking a stance directly in front of Jackie blocking her view and access to Rose, “You will not be allowed to enter our home and start making demands on Rose. She is an adult, pregnant with our child and if you cannot accept that, or the idea that she is to stand at my side governing Gallifrey then you can leave now, have I made myself clear?”

Rose can see the twitch of Jackie’s hand as she raises it, knows what she’s going to do and leaps from the chair, grabbing her hand before it collides with Jon’s face. “No! Mum, don’t,” Rose hollers.

Jon is trying to control the overprotective and possessiveness he feels anytime there is a threat to Rose, or well…sometimes even when there is no threat. Right now though all he wants to do is grab his screeching lunatic banshee of a mother in law by the scruff of her neck and evict her from not only their home but also their life. “Rose, I’m going…somewhere not here,” he says coldly, leaning in kissing her. Moments later she hears the front door slam shut and the alarm kick on.

“Rose,” Jackie says in a much calmer, softer tone, she knows she’s fucked up and has to apologize.

“No, mum…just…I need a minute yeah,” Rose says as she sips on her coffee, “Oh bliss…”

A few minutes pass and Jackie tries again, an even softer tone, “Rose I…”

“Nope,” Rose says putting her hand out to shut Jackie up again. She just needs a few moments to calm down. She knows Jackie overreacts to everything, had been expecting it even, but not a 7 in the fucking morning when she’s totally unprepared. 5 minutes of complete silence goes by before Rose stands and gets another cup of coffee and pours Jackie one as well. “Right, this is how we’re going to do this mum. I am going to talk, you are going to listen, and then after I’ve said my part, you may ask questions. I will do my best to answer what I can okay?” Rose says calmly, rationally.

Jackie takes in her daughter’s tone and stature and again is crushed under the weight that she has no idea who this woman is in front of her, “Okay,” she responds ashamed of her behavior and wondering just which one of them is the parent and which is the child.

“Lovely. This is my life now mum. I love him, we are going to be married and we are going to have a family of our own. I’m not a child and am almost 30 years old. You cannot just show up at our flat and behave this way. I love you, I have missed you and we want you to be part of our life. It was Jon who convinced me to come see you in the first place. However, with all that being said, if you cannot accept my life now, as it is, then you should go back to London,” Rose states calmly, “Now, your turn.”

“Just to be clear, you’re saying that I either quietly and completely accept your life or shove off?” Jackie asks already knowing the answer.

“Yep, that’s a proper summation mum,” Rose replies, sipping her coffee.

“Right, well then I’m sorry for actin’ like that earlier, that tape…it…well I didn’t even put clothes on did I? Howard’s still sittin’ in the car, likely freakin’ out. Never told him what was goin’ on, just made him get outta bed and drive me here,” she says looking over at Rose and seeing a look that clearly says get to the point, “Yeah, that’s…we’ll talk about that some other time. So tell me more about how I’m going to be a mother in law to a Prince…never saw that comin’,” she says trying for humor.

“King actually,” Rose states watching her reaction closely, Jackie doesn’t even flinch.

“Well yeah, suppose that’s how it works right. I mean, makes sense…Prince to King. So what do I need to know then?” she asks sighing.

Several hours later Rose has filled Jackie in on everything she knows, except the bond, she’s not sure how to even begin to explain that. She has answered all of Jackie’s questions that she can and has assured her the council members who will be on the plane can answer what she could not. They even discussed the DVD some, not specific details but Jackie now has an overall view of what Rose’s life was like after leaving home up to now. It had gone better than Rose had expected. Jackie didn’t lose her temper or flip out at all. She agreed to apologize to Jon and in a twist Rose hadn’t anticipated, she even started getting excited about the wedding and the baby. She made a bit of a stink about being called Grandma, insisting to go by Nan. When she asked if she could help plan the wedding and Rose said yes, Jackie beamed a smile and Rose could feel how happy that made her. She was even more excited to find out there was no monetary cap, she could go as tastefully crazy as she liked, but everything would need final approval by Jon or Rose, most likely Rose.

By the time Jon comes back to the apartment Rose and Jackie are happily looking over bridal magazines and baby name books. He enters the flat with Donna, Amy and lastly Rory behind him. Rose instantly feels his intense irritation and rises from the couch as they all enter from the hall. She sees they all have bags with them…well Rory was going to take Amy away this weekend and it makes sense that Donna would be joining them in Gallifrey, so what’s Jon so pissed about? Certainly he’s had enough time to get over Jackie’s impromptu visit. “Hey everyone,” she says waving to her friends, “What’s everyone doing here?” she asks, moving to Jon, entwining their fingers.

“Do you want to tell her or shall I?” Jon snaps at Rory and Amy.

“Tell me what?” she asks beginning to panic; Jon’s fury slamming into her as harsh as his words, “I uh…I thought you were taking Amy out of town,” she says to Rory.

“Oh yes! He was definitely taking her out of town,” Jon grits through his teeth, “Would you care to take a guess as to where he was taking her?”

“Um…no actually,” Rose says quietly, “I’d rather you tell me what bee got in your bonnet.”

“Gallifrey…he’s taking Amy to FUCKING GALLIFREY,” Jon yells, spit flying from his mouth and the veins in his neck standing out noticeably, “Do you want to know why?”

Rose is shocked. She didn’t even know that Rory and Amy knew about Gallifrey. As she takes in the expression on both their faces as well as the solemn look on Donna’s she realizes something very bad has happened. So bad in fact, that Jon has just shut down his half of the bond. Rose knows he would never do that unless it was necessary, he hates not being able to feel her through the bond now. “What’s going on,” she asks meekly in the face of Jon’s rage.

One look at Rose, the sad expression marring her beautiful face and the trembling fear he feels through her shaking hands is enough to begin to calm him. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Spies Rose,” he says quietly but still seething, “The council’s spies from Gallifrey; here to monitor poor little Prince Jon.”

“What?” Rose asks confused turning to Rory and Amy, “What’s he talking about Amy?”

Amy is not happy about this either. Yes, she knew Rory, Jon and Donna were all from Gallifrey. Yes, she knew Jon was the ‘not so missing Prince’. Yes, she knew Rory was here to…keep an eye on him, but Jon’s overreacting just a bit. Amy steps in front of Jon and Rose, stands tall and says, “Jon, I think you’re being a touch melodramatic.”

“Excuse me?” Jon snaps at her, “I’m melodramatic because I just found out one of my closest friends is nothing but a spy, here to report on my life, my private FUCKING life! Should I be happy about that Amy? Should I be saying, oh thank you Rory for going behind my back and informing the council of my every move?”

“Yes,” she snaps back at him, “Yes you should be doing exactly that you whiny twat! You’re a Prince about to be crowned King of a fucking country Jon. Did you really think that the council would just allow you to saunter off, never check in, and never report on your welfare? You’re a fucking genius you ass!”

“How dare you speak to me that way!” Jon says, his voice rising in volume and pitch once again.

“I’ll speak to you however I damn well please,” Amy says back with a smirk, “You aren’t my Prince, you dolt.”

Rose steps away from the argument and sits at the piano bench in the back of the room. From this position she can see everyone. Jon and Amy are spitting and hissing like wet kittens at each other. Rory and Donna standing just behind them, both of their heads down and staying silent and her mum…sitting on the couch taking in the action. Rose closes her eyes, counts to five and takes in several deep breaths trying to stave off the panic attack she feels coming on. When she opens her eyes again, it is to find Jackie staring at her with a look of grim determination. Jackie tries to smile at Rose, it comes off small and forced as she rises from the couch. Moments later the yelling is interrupted by a loud shrill whistle from Jackie Tyler’s lips; the room falls silent as all eyes turn to Jackie.

“Alright you lot listen up,” Jackie says in a commanding tone, “Enough of this crap. Jon, Rory was given a job to do. It’s not as if he decided all on his own that he would go and spy on his future King and it’s not as if he could just tell you could he? Next, Amy is just defending her man, good on you Amy,” Jackie says smiling at her, “Donna had no idea about any of this, so she shouldn’t even be involved. Donna love…come over here with me,” she says pulling Donna to the couch, “Now, you bein’ pissed off at Rory is like yellin’ at the cashier who rang you up when you bought a broken phone. It’s not his fault the phones broken, he didn’t break it did he? He’s just doin’ his job, a job he probably doesn’t like or want but it’s his fucking job you royal prat!”

“Yeah,” Amy says standing between Jon and Rory, “What Jackie said. He’s just doing his job.” Amy takes a moment to calm herself and says, “Jon, he was not telling them about your personal life. He didn’t reveal any secrets. All he did was report to them if you were okay or not, whether you’d taken off to places unknown again.”

Rose remains silent in the back of the room taking everything in. She tries to relax and focus on the people around her. One by one she can begin to feel their emotions, it’s not as strong as she can feels Jon’s through the bond but it’s definitely there. Worry, fear and shame are coming from Rory very strongly, and for the first time Rose really understands that Jon is a Prince. Jon could do a great many things to punish Rory if he wanted to, job or not. Amy is…indignant and worried, likely for Rory. Donna is…confused mixed with just a little irritation. Rose assumes she had no clue about Rory and Amy, hence the confusion. Her mum is just…well…annoyed, that’s the least of her worries at this point. Rose thinks it makes sense that the council would have someone watching Jon. He is the last remaining heir to the throne after all…err was anyways. Amy was right, Jon should have expected this. Sure, maybe he shouldn’t have expected it to be Rory, but still this whole thing makes sense she thinks.

“Okay, well that was fun,” Rose says sarcastically moving to stand by Jon, “Come on,” she says pulling Jon towards the hall and their bedroom, “We need to talk.”

Jon follows her down the hall to their room and closes the door behind them. Rose curls herself into his chest, wraps her arms around his waist and breathes him in. After a moment she says softly, “Are you going to pout much longer? I don’t like you shutting me out anymore than you like it when I do it ya know?”

Jon sighs and presses his forehead to hers as he opens the bond. Betrayal is the first thing she feels from him, followed quickly with fear…for her and then sadness. “He was always your friend Jon,” Rose says softly, “He had a job to do and I get that you’re upset at having someone watching over you but, well…you are a Prince. I think being guarded kinda goes with the position doesn’t it. Besides, who cares that you had the council watching you? It’s not as if you had anything to hide from them. You’re a good man Jon, why are you so worried they know that about you?” She can feel him becoming calmer as she talks and she brings her lips to his and kisses him softly.

Jon returns her kiss and holds her tightly to him before burying his face in her neck. He knows she’s right. Rory has always been his friend, has always shown up when Jon needed him, but is that because they are friends or because he’s the Prince? Jon is not a stupid man; he can of course see why the council did what they did. Just because he can understand it doesn’t mean he’s not pissed about it though. Jon closes his eyes and focuses on the feeling of Rose in his arms, the rhythmic breathing of her chest against his, the feeling of her hands making slow steady movements up and down his spine; Ativan, Xanax, Prozac…he thinks as all anger, worry and fear dissipate from his body.

“Feeling better now?” Rose asks unnecessarily, she can tell through the bond he is.

“A bit yeah,” Jon sighs out against her neck.

“He feels really awful about it if that makes it any better for you,” Rose says quietly.

“How do you know that? You didn’t even talk with him?” Jon asks.

“Didn’t need to. I can feel it,” she says flatly shrugging her shoulders, “You should apologize, he’s scared Jon. Properly scared that you’re going to banish him or whatever royal people do to punish their people. How long before we have to leave for the airport?” Rose asks softly, unbuttoning his shirt, pulling a snort of laughter from Jon.

“Rose, we have a living room full of people, including your mum. Do you really think now is the best time to be taking my clothes off?” he asks, smiling down at her.

“That argument may work better if you hadn’t already undone my jeans and bra clasp,” she says smiling at him with her tongue at the corner of her mouth and her eyes looking at him through her lashes.

She’s so fucking beautiful he thinks pulling her shirt from her, messing up her hair and tossing it across the room. Rose leans in as if to kiss him and just as he leans down she pushes him away with two hands against his chest and sprints to the other side of the room giggling. “Rose,” he growls out, reaching for her. It’s only a moment later that he’s on her, she wasn’t even sure she saw him move actually. Jon’s mouth is immediately on hers and his hands working furiously to strip her and him of any remaining barriers between them. Finally, he thinks as his hands run down her naked form grabbing her thighs and lifting her up; he wraps her legs around his waist and presses her against the glass wall behind her. “No games Rose,” he growls against her throat, “now, I need you now,” he says, the growl turning into a snarl as he slides his cock into her wet heat.

Each time they make love its different, never once the same, there’s usually a basic road map for her to follow though. Not this time. His hands dig into the flesh of her thighs, his teeth sink into her neck as he slams into her over and over hard and unforgiving. Each time he thrusts into her rips a growl from him and a scream from her. Rose feels her control over the bond slipping, he pushes her against the glass again she lets it go completely.

The force of her emotions hits him so strongly Jon loses balance and they fall to the floor. Jon rolls on top of her and begins pushing into her once more. His movements become frantic, sloppy and more forceful with each slide of his cock in and out of her. His hands grasping at skin wherever they can reach, his teeth biting into her so hard she knows he’ll leave marks all over her body.

Rose becomes overwhelmed by his emotions, something that hasn’t happened in quite a while, not since they gained control over the bond. Jon’s fury, hurt, pain and sadness pour into her and she falls apart under the weight of it. Tears course down her face as she realizes how much he was truly hurt by Rory’s betrayal. How scared he is of returning to Gallifrey. How worried he is for her and how she’ll cope with everything. His terror at the idea that she’ll leave him once the stress of being in Gallifrey settles in her. Jon’s all consuming horror at the thought of something taking her and their child from him. _“A storm is coming,”_ the memory quickly flashing through her mind. Rose doesn’t know what he meant by that, but she knows he wasn’t referring to the weather. She grabs a hold of his hair with both hands and brings his face to hers, forcing him to make eye contact with her; bringing his forehead to hers. Rose moves her fingers to his temples and pushes her love for him through the bond as forcefully as she can.

Jon stops moving completely, it’s as if someone pushed a pause button on a film. All he can see now is bright white, brilliant and blinding, the ringing in his ears begins to fade and hears Rose crying, sobbing out how much she loves him, how sorry she is he was so hurt, how she will always, always love him and never betray him. He remains still as the truth of her words washes over him through the bond and Jon feels all the negative shit begin to fade away, like waves washing footprints from the sand until there’s nothing but Rose and him. As his vision starts returning, he begins to move inside of her again; slower, softer movements than when he started.

As the fog lifts from his mental processes he thinks he should apologize to her for what happened. Taking her so…forcefully, he didn’t think he’d ever behave that way. He quickly realizes that he doesn’t need to, she knows everything. Her presence inside his head has never felt this strong, he can feel her, hear her…everything just as clearly as his own thoughts and emotions. It’s not separate anymore, she’s no longer confined to that spot in his head where she’s been since the first day. Rose is everywhere inside of him, his head, his heart, his body, his soul, every fiber of his being is infused with her. She’s the blood rushing through his body, the air filling his lungs, every thought, memory and dream he has ever had…she’s everything and everywhere within him.

Rose knows Jon is feeling everything she is at this moment. It’s complete clarity of the bond, of who they really are to each other, everything they are going to be and everything they have always been. This is two souls reunited, the completion of a bond that started so many thousands of years ago. This is fate or God or destiny pulling at strings and threads assuring the DNA that had been passed from person to person through their family lines culminated in this moment. This is one soul violently ripped in two and lost to each other eons ago finding home. As the last part of the bond locks into place, Rose’s orgasm rips through her body so violently it’s as if she’s having a seizure. Moans and gasps leave her throat as her hands tear into the flesh of Jon’s back. His fingers dig into the skin of her thighs scratching and clutching at her as his climax tears through him just a brutally as hers. There is nothing sweet, nothing gentle, none of this is what either had come accustomed to when they make love.

Their movements become completely erratic, raw and primal. Moans and gasps turning to snarls and grunts as he continues pushing into her through their climax. Nothing else exists in this moment. There is no Gallifrey, no Jackie, no Rory or Amy, no betrayal or fear or doubt. There is only this moment, only them giving each other everything they ever were or ever will be; a true forever neither of them could have comprehended before this instant. As their combined climax begins to fade Jon falls to her side and greedily sucks in oxygen, folding himself around her, both slipping into a dreamless sleep almost instantly.

Rose wakes to the ringing of Jon’s cell phone and tries to unwind her body from his. She feels Jon resist her movements to get up and laughs at him. “I know you’re awake, that little trick will never work again now,” she says rolling away from him and walking to the still ringing phone.

“Mmm yeah, pity that. It was the best way to keep you naked in bed with me,” he says as she answers the phone.

“Hello?” Rose says into the phone.

“Rose? God I been callin’ your phone for ages,” Jackie’s panicked voice comes down the line, “You and Jon were to be at the airport hours ago, these council people are wiggin’ out Rose. They think Jon snatched you and ran off somewhere. I tried tellin’ em’ you wouldn’t do that but apparently your Prince Charming has a history of doing exactly that. He din’t though right, I mean you’re still in Cardiff yeah?”

“Yeah mum, we’re at the flat. Just tell them you got us on the phone and we’re on our way, 20 minutes okay,” she says disconnecting the line.

“Time to go,” Jon says pulling his clothes back on and sighing deeply.

It’s only a few minutes later Jon and Rose exit the flat and head for the airport. They are passed through the security checkpoints and escorted to the tarmac where his private jet waits for them. They were informed at check in that the rest of the flight members were already on board and had been waiting for them with little patience, so they expect a fuss once they make it to the plane. “You’re late,” Donna snaps as they enter the seating area.

“Yep,” he says grinning and popping the p and laughing.

Rose smiles and slaps his arm gently, “We’re very sorry to have held up the flight, but we’re here and ready to go, so let’s do that yeah?” she says to the group of people staring at them.

The entire group takes their seats and prepare for the plane to take off. It’s oddly quiet Rose thinks, especially with Jackie on board. Rose looks up after buckling her seatbelt and sees everyone staring at them. “What? Why you all looking at us like that? Do I have food on my face or something?” she asks everyone confused. Rose looks up at Jon and sees the huge, filthy grin on his face. She knows instantly why everyone is staring at them as an image of Jon’s teeth biting into her neck flashes through her accompanied by a strong rush of arousal. “Oh God,” she squeaks as she tries to disappear into the chair, “Quit…just stop looking at me,” she whimpers turning her head into Jon’s shoulder hiding her face.

Jon feels her embarrassment and usually he’d think it was funny, but she’s mortified right now, literally seconds away from busting into tears. That ever present possessiveness and protectiveness flashes through him as he turns to the group of people and snarls through his teeth, “Turn your fucking eyes away from my wife,” it’s loud, commanding, dripping with power and authority.

Everyone immediately averts their vision from Rose and Jon. The cabin falls silent as the plane takes flight and the moment the seatbelt sign clicks off Jon gathers a silently weeping Rose in his arms and carries her to his room on the plane. “Rose shhh, it’s not so bad as all that,” he says trying to calm her down, “It’s just a few…hickies. It’s not as if your mum thought you were a virgin Love, you’re carrying our baby,” he says placing his hand on her belly.

“I…no, I know that,” she says through sobs, “I don’t know why I’m so…emotional.”

He knows the embarrassment is only a small part of what’s going on, she really has no clue why she’s this upset about a few love bites, “I’m going with pregnancy hormones running amuck with just a hint of residual emotions from the completion of the bond,” he says, lying beside her, pulling her as close as he can. She’s exhausted; the pregnancy and stress of the last few days having finally taken its toll on her. Jon runs his hands up and down her back until he feels her settle into sleep. He stays just a few minutes longer, lying there holding her in the dark and quiet before making his way back to the rest of the group. He looks around and not one person makes eye contact with him as he takes his seat. Good, he thinks to himself, they should be worried about pissing him off. He can no longer outrun or hide from his obligations to Gallifrey and now is as good a time as any to start behaving as the rightful King he is.

“Romana,” Jon says grabbing her attention, “Did you explain to Mrs. Tyler about Gallifrey? I’m sure she had unanswered questions after her chat with Rose.”

“Yes My Prince,” Romana says bowing her head in reverence to Jon. She had been expecting his usual dismissal of such things, but it never comes.

“Good, I’ll be leaving Jackie in your hands while in Gallifrey. I expect her to be educated and informed on any customs or practices she’ll need to know while there. In addition Rose has placed Jackie in charge of the wedding. You will be her at her beck and call. Whatever she needs to give Rose the wedding of her dreams, that’s you. Have I made myself clear?” Jon says staring her down.

What! Romana thinks to herself. I am the second highest ranking member of the Gallifrey council and have been demoted to babysitter and wedding planner?! Regardless of how she feels about it, she knows she has no option. She is part of the Gallifreyan council and as such Jon is free to use her in any role he deems necessary. She brings her eyes to Jon’s and says with no affect, “Yes, My Prince. We’ll take care of everything.”

“Romana,” Jon says with authority, “I know you feel this is a demeaning task and far below the station you hold, but…” he trails off and sighs. Jon walks over to Romana and kneels down so their vision is level, “There is nothing more important to me than Rose. Please do not look at this as a punishment or me being cruel. You know what Rose has gone through. I need this perfect for her and I trust you implicitly. It is not my anger at you that made me choose you for this task; it is my trust in our friendship.”

“Okay Jon, I’ll make sure everything is perfect for her,” Romana says with a small smile, “You’re going to make a truly wonderful King for Gallifrey.” She’s unsure of what caused this change in Jon. The man before her now radiates power, where as the boy she saw yesterday was mired in fear of his position.

“I’m not sure about all that,” he says laughing, “But I’m done running from it, or trying to pretend I can run from it at any rate.” He turns to Andred and says, “I assume that you have proper attire for everyone to change into before we land?”

“Yes, My Prince. Each room has the appropriate clothing and accessories for all passengers,” Andred replies bowing his head.

“Alright, that is the first thing I’m changing once I’m crowned. All this bowing and referring to me as My Prince or My King…it’s…well a little creepy,” he says as a shiver of ick runs down his spine, “Don’t you think so? I mean how many times are you expected to say that in a day? Not only is it creepy…it’s rather annoying to have you all finish every sentence like that. Don’t you agree Rory?”

Jon sees Rory jump as his name falls from Jon’s lips. He knows Rory must be properly freaking out. Rose had said he was earlier and that was hours ago now. Jon sees him turn his vision to the floor and bow his head, a typical stance for someone who had pissed off Gallifreyan royalty. Even when Jon was young he never understood or agreed with all of the formality in the Gallifreyan Court. He understands who he is and what his position means, but that doesn’t mean he wants his people bowing and behaving like whipped dogs in front of him. “It’s alright Rory. I’m still upset, but it’s fine. I’m still just Jon alright? We’ve been friends for years and I’ll not let this one thing ruin that. Rose would kick my arse six ways from Sunday if I even tried to stay angry with you,” he says laughing. “Alright then, who else do I need to apologize to? It’s going to be a long flight home and I’ll not have everyone pissed off and upsetting Rose.”

The next several hours are spent going over any remaining issues between the friends and Jon does his very best to mend any fences he may have broken. This is Rose’s family, regardless of how he feels about being watched or tattled on, this is her family and he’ll not take that from her. He spends time chatting with each person on the flight. Romana and Andred fill him in on political matters he’ll need to know as well as discuss their ideas of where Rose’s tape came from. He then moves on to Rory and Amy. He apologizes to them both and tries to explain why he was so upset. Once fences are mended there he tells Amy privately that he and Rose will need to speak with her once they reach Gallifrey. Moving on to Jackie…he spends at least 2 hours with her. She wants to know everything. Jon knows she’s matching his explanation of events to the one Rose gave her and though the story isn’t word for word identical, it’s close enough to appease the crazy banshee woman…for now at least.

There, he thinks to himself, all better. All the people who were upset with him seem fine now, more understanding than he would have been he thinks. But then that’s what a King does right? Surrounds himself with people who have the characteristics he lacks? A memory flashes through his mind of his mother and father when he was but a small boy, still living in Gallifrey. Donna, him and their parents running around behind the castle, just being a family. His parents had pulled him aside that day and told him who he was. Told him that one day he would be King of Gallifrey as his father was then. They explained to him the importance of justice, of fairness and how sometimes when you are in charge of an entire country; you have to make hard decisions and choices. They explained that sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones, but as King you have to choose anyway. He was 8 years old the day his legacy was revealed to him and it terrified him. That fear had followed him throughout his entire life. He had always found ways to shirk his responsibility to Gallifrey.

Booze, drugs, women…Harry, travel and adventure, anything anywhere that wasn’t Gallifrey he ran to. Things are different now though. He’s different now. Rose made him different, made him whole. She wiped clean his blood stained tattered soul and is allowing him to start over with hers. Jon says goodnight to the rest of the group and heads to his room and Rose. He knows she’s still sleeping, he can feel her in every atom of his being now. He remembers the first time he made love to her, remembers wanting to crawl inside of her and never leave. That’s how this feels to him. It’s as if every molecule and atom that she’s made of has surrounded and mixed with his. Rose’s warmth, compassion and love is always there now, will always be there, holding him, securing him, grounding him. She will give him the strength he needs to be a proper King, just as his mother did for his father. There’s hours left before they land and Jon strips off his clothes, slides into bed next to Rose and allows sleep to claim him for the remainder of the flight.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is getting really long and I thought about breaking it into two books, but well this seemed easier. So This chapter is the start of Book 2 just in case I decide to break them up later. Remembered speech is in italics, and telepathy is in bold italics, just a reminder.  
> Doctor Who is owned by the BBC. Anything recognizable is not mine.  
> Thanks for reading and comments are appreciated.

“Rose, Rose Love come on, time to get up,” Jon says softly.

“Mmmm, yeah okay, times’ it?” she slurs in response.

“10 a.m. and we have a lot to get done,” he replies running his hands down her back.

As she becomes aware of her surroundings Rose realizes they are no longer on the plane. She sits up and looks about the room she’s in and it’s…posh…very, very posh. Obviously they had landed and Jon removed her from the plane, odd she didn’t wake up she thinks just before Jon places a fresh cup of coffee in front of her face.

“Coffee, coffee, coffee,” she says grasping at the cup, taking it from Jon.

She’s most beautiful, no adorable, no perfect…okay she is most adorably, beautifully perfect like this he thinks; rumpled from sleep, warm and flushed and a complete mess. Her hair is everywhere, her brain isn’t working yet and she has the smallest smile each time she sips her coffee, she’s just….everything.

“What all do we have to do today?” she asks.

“I have no idea honestly,” Jon replies shrugging his shoulders, “I’m sure Romana and Andred have a full day planned though. Since it’s already 10 a.m., I’m also sure they are not pleased we haven’t made our presence known yet.”

“Did you fix things with Rory?” she asks.

“Yes, last night on the plane,” he grumbles with a small pout. Jon’s still unhappy with that whole situation, but as usual Amy was correct; it was naïve of him to think the council wouldn’t have a babysitter watching him.

“Good, that would have made for a terribly awkward vacation,” Rose smiles to him, “Okay so where do we start? Do I need to talk to people or do I just get ready like every other day? How’s this whole being engaged to a Prince thing work? I mean do I have like um…what do they call em’? Ladies in waiting? Where do I find clothes? Is mum up and about? Oh God! She’s not terrorizing the staff or the council is she?” Rose screeches, jumping from the bed and looking for a closet or dresser or anything that looks like it may hold clothing.

“We’ve not stepped back in time Love,” Jon laughs, “It’s not as if you need to wear corsets and ball gowns and just so Donna doesn’t flip out, they are called assistants not ladies in waiting or servants, she’s really tetchy about that. My assistant got clothes and everything else you’ll need, they should be hanging in the closet just there,” he points, “and everything else you need should be in the loo already. Your mum’s been up for hours, she’s…well it’s probably best if you get ready quickly,” he says leading her to the loo.

“Um…okay, so I’ll get ready and then meet you where?” she asks nervously.

“I’ll wait here for you. Once you’re ready to go we’ll check in with Romana and Andred, see where we need to start alright?” he says soothingly, trying to calm her some. He knows she’s spazzing internally, can feel it coursing through him. Nervousness, anxiety, excitement and a fuck ton of fear have been rushing through him since she started to wake up.

45 minutes later, Rose exits the loo dressed, hair and makeup done and a smile plastered on her face so fake it makes Jon actually cringe when he sees her.

“What? Wrong clothes, too much makeup, hairs awful? What? Why you lookin’ at me like that?” she says panicked and rushing to the full-length mirror.

Jon steps over to Rose, firmly places both hands on her arms stopping her rapid unfocused movements through the room. “You look beautiful Rose, as you always do, but you need to calm down…please. Remember; grown up put together Jon and same for you yeah? So sit down, take a breath and relax. I know you’re scared and have no idea what to expect, but you will be fine…I promise,” he says guiding her to the chair, placing her in it and handing her a new cup of coffee.

Rose closes her eyes, (Deep breath in) squares her shoulders, sits straight (Deep breath out) and tries to calm herself. She can feel Jon through the bond, his amusement mixed with apprehension and…pride…in her. She begins to relax and after a few more deep breaths opens her eyes.

This process she goes through is astounding to him. Rose has this ability to change at a moment’s notice. She can go from a spazzing, chaotic, neurotic mess to pulled together, professional adult in a matter of minutes…it’s amazing. “Right, grown up, pulled together adult,” she says, standing from the bed, pulling Jon up with her, “What’s first?”

“First, I am going to kiss you,” he says doing just that, “and then I am going to say, Good morning Rose, because we didn’t get to do that when you woke up. Now, we are going to my office where I’m sure Romana, Donna and your mother are planning our lives as we speak,” he says, kissing her once more before leading her from the room.

Rose is trying to look at everything as Jon hurries her through the halls, but it’s rather dark and she cannot really make out much of the artwork on the walls, “No worries Love, I’ve already told Romana to work in time for a proper tour, not just the castle but the main city as well,” he says smiling at her and opening the door to his office. 7 sets of eyes land on Rose as she enters the room, several more sets that she was expecting. “Oh…um…morning all. I wasn’t…Hi I’m Rose,” she says, offering her hand to one of the people she doesn’t know. Rory, Amy, Romana, Andred, Jackie and 2 people she has not met all freeze as they enter the room.

“Hello, Miss Tyler, I am Susan. It’s lovely to meet you; I’ll be your assistant while you’re in Gallifrey,” says the young lady shaking her hand. Susan seems young, likely younger than Rose even. She’s a bit taller than Rose, slight in frame, dark black hair cropped short, cute…like a pixie Rose thinks and smiles to her.

“It’s nice to meet you Susan and by assistant I know you mean babysitter,” Rose laughs and waves off the argument Susan was prepared to give, “It’s okay really. I don’t blame anyone for thinking I need to be monitored, they’re probably right,” she says smiling at the girl.

“Rose…” Jon starts to say, his voice nervous but going for reassuring.

“It’s really fine, I mean I don’t know what’s expected of me and you’ve been gone for a long while Jon. Someone will need to give me lessons on proper…etiquette and Queenly…stuff. So what’s first? It’s already half noon and I’m sure there’s a lot to get done,” she says, sitting down at the table and looking to Romana.

“Right to business, I like that,” Romana says smiling, placing her hand over one of Rose’s.

Anger, bitterness and fear coil around her like a boa constrictor when Romana grabs her hand. Rose withdraws quickly and stares at Romana in shock for a moment before she pulls herself together. “What’s wrong?” she asks panicked.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean Rose, everything’s fine. We just have some things to cover before you go on the tour. Most everything else will start tomorrow. Jon and Jackie both felt it would be best for you to…”

“You’re lying,” Rose says, squinting at Romana and pursing her lips.

“Again Rose, I don’t know what you mean, as I said…”

“Oh I heard what you said,” Rose says staring Romana in the eye, “I also know your lying.” Rose turns to Jon, “What’s going on? Why’s she freaking out? She’s bloody pissed off at something,” Rose says.

“I…what? She seems fine, Rose are you feeling okay?” Jon asks. To him Romana seems normal; maybe a little less sociable than he remembers her being but calm, not upset or angry.

Rose stands from the table, smiles at the room and says, “Pardon us for just a moment, thanks,” dragging Jon into the hall. “Jon, she is definitely not fine. That woman is angry and no just a little; she’s properly raging right now. I know it doesn’t look like it but when…when she grabbed my hand…I could feel it. Not like I can feel you but I could feel it wrapping around me, it’s suffocating.”

Jon opens the door, “Romana, could you join us for a moment please,” he asks and she comes into the hall.

“Yes Jon?” she asks as he closes the door.

“What’s going on? And don’t even bother saying nothing” Jon snaps, when she tries to interrupt him.

“We know Jon,” is her reply; that’s it, that’s all she says to him as if he should instinctively know what she’s talking about.

“Great,” he says sarcastically, “Would you mind filling us in so we know as well?”

“The…” she hesitates in her response.

“The…what,” Rose prompts her.

“Rejoining, we know about the Twin Flames prophecy and know that it has come to fruition,” Romana replies, her eyes cast downwards and her stance submissive.

Rose feels Jon’s anxiety spike as well as his anger. She’s a bit surprised but not upset. Rose figured they would have to tell the council about the bond as well as the baby eventually. She wasn’t prepared for it right now…but then again she hasn’t been prepared for anything that’s happened between her and Jon.

“Okaaaayyy,” Rose says, “and this is causing you to freak out why? What do you mean prophecy? and why are you doing that I just got in trouble thing you people do? Is it bad that you know or…or is it bad that we have the bond? Is something wrong with it? What do you know about it? How do you know about it,” the questions spilling forth hurriedly? She’s doing her best to remain calm, but Jon is really upset and Romana looks properly worried and she’s beginning to lose her grip on adult, put together Rose. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm…be a grown up Rose, she chides herself.

“ ** _Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm…be a grown up Rose_** ,” Jon hears rushed and panicked in his head and he tightens his grip on Rose’s hand. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Who is we and what do you know?” Jon asks tersely. He is doing his best to calm down, knows Rose is feeling everything he is and his ability to shut the bond down…well too late for that now. At this point the best he can do is try to calm himself and hope that calms her as well.

“Andred and I both know about what you’re referring to as the bond. The rest of the council and the Prime Minister do not know anything…yet. Mrs. Tyler knows as well,” Romana states calmly.

“What!” Rose shrieks, “You told her, my mum? You had no right to do that!” Rose yells, furious that these people would provide that information to her mum without at least talking with her first.

“Actually Rose, your mother came to me this morning. She had her own suspicions as did Andred and I. We did not inform your mother of anything, she brought the information to us, out of concern,” she replies.

“So…so everyone…everyone in the room knows then?” Rose asks timidly, anger and irritation dissipating. The calmer she becomes the calmer she can feel Jon becoming as well.

Jon opens the office door tugging Rose in behind him and slamming the door so hard the walls shake. “I am done with these fucking games!” Jon yells to the room, “Every fucking one of you had better come clean with everything right now! If you know it and I don’t, you will tell me rightfuckingnow!”

Everyone begins speaking at once in the face of Jon’s ire. Their voices mixing, mingling and Rose can feel everyone in the room. She can feel fear, anger, worry, hesitation, grief, and sadness, pain and…love…Jon’s love for her. It’s becoming too much at once for Rose, her head is throbbing and everything is becoming blurry. Just as she thinks she’s going to faint Jon catches her and sets her in a chair before turning to the room and hollering, “SHUT UP!” The room falls silent at his command, “Thank you, now let’s be a bit calmer and explain what the fuck is going on. How do you people know any of this?” he asks harshly, “Rory did you…”

“No!” Rory replies interrupting him, “I didn’t say anything about the bond Jon. I have no idea how they know about it. Andred came and fetched Amy and I this morning, he was asking questions and we told him nothing, I swear. Amy and I told him we had no clue what he was talking about. He then said that we were to come here and wait for you and Rose, but it wasn’t us,” he says emphatically.

He’s being truthful, Rose can feel it. “I know Rory…I believe you, it’s okay. I don’t understand what the big fuss is? I mean we would have had to tell the council anyways right?” she asks looking at Jon.

He takes a long look at Rose. She was just on the verge of passing out and now she’s…well irritated but fine. “Yes,” he sighs, “but Rose…they knew already. That means they know about Twin Flames, have information that they didn’t supply to us, intentionally kept it from us as a matter of fact,” he says, his irritation spiking once more.

“So what? They know…saves the awkwardness of explaining it to them doesn’t it? I mean…did you have a way of explaining it to everyone because I sure as hell didn’t,” she says shrugging her shoulders, “As far as I’m concerned this just takes one more issue off our plates. So how about we skip all the Kingly bravado and just get to the point yeah?” she says entwining their fingers.

“Kingly bravado?” he asks amused, anger and irritation dissipating at her touch and her smile.

Rose rolls her eyes and smiles as a wave of lust rushes through the bond, “Okay mum, this started with you opening your trap so you start explaining how you know anything about this right now,” Rose demands, “please,” she adds a touch softer.

“There was…I was…I couldn’t sleep yeah? I was wanderin’ the halls and found the library, so I grabbed a few books that looked interesting,” Jackie says nervously.

“What you mean is you went looking for the loo, got lost, found the library, looked for picture books and stumbled upon some information,” Rose states flatly. She’s becoming a human lie detector she thinks. She can feel when people are providing misinformation or really any of their emotions if they are strong enough.

“Erm…well…yes,” Jackie says laughing just a little, “Anyways I found this book about Gallifrey and I thought it was like a history or somethin’. Figured you’d be happy if I did a little reading about the country, but it wasn’t a history book at all really. It was talkin’ bout’ soul-mates an’ the like an’ it was really interesting. The more I read, I got to thinkin’ bout how you and Jon act round’ eachother an’ all, so I asked Romana and Andred about it this morning. The…it seemed…well…It described me an’ Pete,” she finishes softly.

“Jackie, what do you mean it described you and Pete?” Jon asks curiously. This is something he had wondered about before, whether anyone in their families had gone through this as well. Scientifically it makes sense he thinks, there would have to have been other blood relations that were Twin Flames in order to pass the DNA along the bloodlines.

Jackie starts to explain her relationship with Pete and Rose is struck dumb at the information. Her mum and dad’s relationship so closely mirrors hers and Jon’s it seems crazy. Random chance meeting, arse over tea kettle in love within minutes, the connection, the electrical sensation, sensing emotions; and Rose remembers the sickness now. She remembers how ill her mum was after her dad died and one by one her memories start filling in the blanks that Jackie isn’t.

_“Basically imagine the worst version of yourself that you can and assume that is what you will become should one of you leave the other. To be clear on this, it won’t matter which of you chooses to leave, and the end result will be the same for both.”_

The memory of Matt explaining what would happen should they be separated rushes through Jon; at the same time the memories of Rose and Jackie’s relationship play through. Everything makes so much sense now he thinks. If Jackie and Pete had the same bond, it’s no wonder she went batshit crazy when he died. “We need to call Matt,” Jon states firmly, “Get him, Clara and Jack here right away…mostly Matt, but Rose will want Clara here for the wedding planning and she’ll need all the support she can get as we go public,” he says to Romana.

“Matt? What? Why, he’s an arse,” Rose asks confused.

“Yep he is, but he’s also the one with all the information Rose,” Jon replies.

“No, but…just stop! You’re jumping ahead again, not thinkin’ properly. I know you’re upset but just stop okay. Before we go pullin’ everyone we know from their lives and freakin’ out, let’s just…(Deep breath in, deep breath out) relax. We haven’t gotten all of the information yet,” Rose says, trying to go about this rationally, trying to not spin completely out of fucking control, trying to handle this a as Queen should. Because that’s what she’s going to be…a Queen and she’d better get accustomed to that now.

Hearing Jackie explain about her and Pete…Rose saw the aftermath…lived it…watched what her mum became after her dad was gone. In that moment Rose has complete clarity, she understands there is no option now. Until this moment she had held out a small hidden hope that Jon would change his mind, they could go back to Cardiff and pretend none of this happened. It’s a false hope and she knew that already, but this… **knowing** , having lived it and experienced the visual evidence of what happens when a bonded couple is separated, no…she knows it’s time for her to step-up. She can never leave him and he **is** going to be King, so ready or not she needs to grow up and show up.

Jon sees her straighten her shoulders, stand just a bit taller; it amazes his every time, this transformation she goes through from chaotic, scared mess to mature, responsible, rational thinking adult…he’s a bit envious of that actually. She seems able to pull her shit together instantaneously when necessary, more than that…she pulls his shit together at the same time…she is remarkable and he is so fucking lucky he thinks.

Eyes closed (Deep breath in, deep breath out), eyes open and she says, “Thank you mum. I know it must be hard to talk about dad but any information you can provide is helpful…immeasurably so,” she turns to Romana and Andred, “Now you two…what do you know? How do you know it? And why are we just finding out now?”

Neither Andred nor Romana make any attempt to respond to her questions and Rose almost falters because of it. She knows they don’t respect her, think she’s not up to the challenge, she can feel it coming from them; rolling over her like waves lapping a shoreline. “Listen,” she says kindly, “I understand that you two don’t think I can handle this, but you know what? It no longer matters what you think does it? I mean we’re here, this is happening, Jon and I are bonded, we are going to be married and I am going to be Queen of Gallifrey. As much as I would love to crawl away and slither back to my comfy unknown existence and deny all f this…I can’t. Unfortunately for you, that means you need to start treating me as the future Queen, just as I must start behaving as one. So with that being said,” Rose stands, moves to Jon, grabs his hand in hers, straightens herself and says, “either you give us the information we’re asking nicely for or we will be forced to ask…less nicely. I have no idea what that entails but I’m sure Jon does. There will be no separating us to give him the information alone. Not only am I to be his wife, the future Queen but…well…this is happening to me just as much as him and I have a right to the fucking information!” she says, her voice rising in volume and pitch the longer they stay silent.

Romana is pissed and Rose can feel it. She has no clue why this woman is so upset with her but it’s evident she’s not happy about any of this. Rose decides she’ll address that later, privately…she’s pretty sure that’s how royalty handles things. Andred steps forward and bows to Rose before he begins to speak. “There have always been flames in Jon’s blood line. Each King or Queen has been a flame themselves, however we know of only a few that found their twin. Jon’s mother and father, his great, great maternal grandparents and the founders, the first King and Queen of Gallifrey were Twin Flames. At the time Gallifrey was founded ideas such as these were common place. People believed in witchcraft, magic, fairies and demons; the idea of soul-mates was standard, not at all like today’s society,” he states as if reading from a book passage.

“You knew about this?” Jon asks confused and angry. Why was he not warned or informed or something…he should have been told something about this! “Why was I never told any of this? Why would you keep this information from me? They were my parents for Christ’s sake! This is my life…my bloody fucking life! You didn’t think this information would be…I don’t know useful or helpful?” he demands.

“Not everyone knows Jon,” Romana says respectfully, “Just as there have always been flames there has always been someone guarding that information. Many flames never find their twin, to ensure the bloodline continues, the keeper of the information cannot say anything. If every ruling person knew of the potential to find a soul-mate, if they believed the one person who makes them whole was going to be presented to them as a gift then they would never seek love on their own. Most never find their twin, as such they need to fall in love with and marry a non-twin. That is unlikely to occur if they are given this information. Andred and I were chosen as the keepers of the information shortly after the death of your parents. The previous keeper felt given our history and friendship it would be best.”

As Romana talks Rose can sense she’s holding something back, not about the bond but she’s definitely withholding something from Jon.

Romana turns to Rose, she can feel her future Queen eyeing her suspiciously, knows she’s been caught. Rose had made no secret of being an empath…no she didn’t come right out and say that but she’s been reading their emotions since they turned up at Jon’s flat. Both Romana and Andred knew it, not that they have any way of confirming, but Rose’s ability to say the right thing at the right time, to everyone around her…yes they already knew she was an empath. Romana tries desperately to reign in her feelings, knowing it’s pointless. “Can I have the room for a moment please,” Rose states firmly.

“Rose? What’s wrong?” Jon asks panicked. He’s not sure what that feeling was that just slithered through him but it wasn’t good.

“It’s nothing Love,” she says trying to calm him down. Rose gets it now, why Romana is so pissed and she’s going to handle it right now…privately…maturely and…well…like royalty should. “It’s nothing really,” she says to the room of people. All of which have remained completely silent this whole time. Amy has said nothing and that more than anything is freaking her out. Amy is never quiet, never shy about expressing her opinions. “I just need the room for a minute and Romana, we need to have a talk is all,” she says softly, trying to assuage the panic flaring in Jon.

“I can’t stay?” he asks confused, “I mean I get you want everyone else to leave but you’re going to tell me anyways, can’t I just stay?”

“Not this time Love,” she whispers to him, “I’ll explain later but right now…just…you need to trust that I know what I’m doing okay?”

“Right…uh 10 minute break,” he says as everyone files out of the room, because he does trust her…implicitly. If she says she needs the room and privacy…okay then.

Once the door closes Rose sits at the table, “Romana, I think we should talk. Now we can do this one of two ways; you can either tell me what’s going on or I can tell you what I think is going on. Which would you prefer?”

She feels Romana trying to reign in her emotions, pulling back and applying whatever mask she’d been taught to use as a council member, but it’s too little too late. “Why don’t you tell me what you think you know Rose,” Romana states snidely. She does not for one minute think this little girl could possibly know the truth. She may know Romana’s not being completely honest but not the reasons.

“Fine, if you’d rather play games we can take the long route,” Rose says just as harshly. She doesn’t want to be mean, doesn’t want to make an enemy of this woman in front of her. Romana is part of the council and more than that she’s a lifelong friend to Jon. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “You thought he was coming home to you. When he was through grieving his family, when he had dealt with what happened in that basement…you…you thought he’d come back…to you. You’re in love with him, have been since you were children. You spent all these years that he was gone preparing yourself for the day he would come home and…and marry you, choose you as his Queen. I’m so sorry Romana,” Rose says kindly, honestly. She really is sorry for her; being in love with someone for that long, molding yourself to be not only a partner but a Queen, prepared to stand at his side and govern a country…to have all of that ripped away…every dream this woman had was wrapped up in Jon.

Romana is incensed at this, how dare this child come here and tell her what she feels, how dare she pity her! “You think you’re so fucking clever,” Romana hisses at her, “You have no concept of what being the Queen to Gallifrey entails. You are a child, with no education or upbringing to speak of. A former heroin addict who allowed herself to be whipped and beaten for 5 years, mired in self pity and misery since then. You run a cash register and can barely manage to care for yourself, how do you expect to govern over a population of 8 million people?!”

Rose wants to lash out, wants to reach over and slap that smug fucking smile right off the little bitches face. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Be that as it may, regardless of how you feel about it…this is the situation I have been placed in Romana,” Rose says firmly but with no heat in her voice. She really is trying to handle this in an adult manner, it’s no more Romana’s fault than it is hers or Jon’s that they are here. “I’m not going to argue about how you see me…mostly because those things are true. However, you need to understand that I’m not doing this by choice. When Jon…when this started I had no idea who he was. It’s not as if I’d found out was some long lost Prince and set my sights on him, nor did I ask for all this mystical twin flame sh…stuff. You on the other hand…you have known this was a possibility for many years,” she says, allowing the irritation into her voice. You have known since the death of his family that this was a possibility, so which one of is actually stupid here? Me for simply falling in love with Jon, as you did yourself or you for having the information and ignoring it? You have always known that his other half was out there waiting for him, always knew that there was a chance he’d never come back to you and yet you believed he would. However, none of that is relevant any longer. I understand that you needed to get those things off your chest and I truly hope that we can move forward from here with as little animosity as possible or even better as friends. What I’m about to say next is not meant as a threat or an intimidation tactic and I hope you will understand that, but if we cannot move past this, than I will simply have you replaced on the council,” Rose says very matter of fact.

“You cannot do that! Jon would never allow that,” Romana says sharply.

“He would and I can,” Rose replies confidently, “However, I no longer need his permission for such things correct? As Queen of Gallifrey Jon’s power is my power. He may be your **King** , but he is to be **my** husband,” she says resolutely. “I am sorry Romana. I am sorry that you’ve been hurt and I’m sorry that I’ve messed up your life plan or whatever, but I have to think of the bigger picture. I may not have had your education, or you upbringing and I certainly was not groomed my entire life to be royalty as you surely were, but again none of that changes the actual circumstances,” Rose hesitates then smiles at Romana, its weak and sad and she knows it is, but what she’s about to say…she knows it will get back to Jon. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Romana, if none of this Twin Flame shit had occurred, if I was just a normal girl and Jon was still who he is…I would have left. Regardless of how much I love him or he loved me, I would have left. The very simple truth is that I do not want this, to be Queen of anything…it’s…difficult for me to process. I would walk away, I would hand him over to you if I could,” Rose states trying not to cry at the thought, “Do you think I’m such a moron that I don’t understand I am woefully unprepared for this? Despite what you think of my past or me I am not stupid. Anyone who speaks to you and then to me knows the obvious choice would be you. You’re angry with me for something that I have no control over and again I’m sorry. Bigger picture though; I am going to be Queen and I need to align myself with people who want to help not hinder my ability to do so. Regardless of whether I wanted this, it’s happened and that’s not changing. I have to try and do the best I can for Gallifrey now, that is my job…yours is to provide to support Jon, the Prime Minister and myself. If your feelings for Jon or me are going to interfere with that ability, I will be forced to make that decision. I’m going to step out and give you a few moments to think about how you would like to proceed from here.” Rose steps towards the door and stops just before opening it, “I truly hope we can move past this Romana, your help will be invaluable to me as well as Gallifrey and Jon,” she says leaving the room.

Romana is both livid and slightly astonished with Rose. Livid that this girl has come in and not only taken the man she loves but her aspirations of Queen as well, and yet she cannot seem to retain her ire at Rose. She did not act petty or jealous, readily admitted and accepted her shortcomings, made no excuses as to why she has them, made clear that she doesn’t want this anymore than Romana wants her to have it and never, not one time did she seem spiteful or weak. Rose has handled every moment since they showed up in Jon’s flat with as much grace, dignity and respect as could be expected, more so even.

For someone so untrained and unprepared Rose is learning quickly how to handle matters with the finesse of royalty. Romana had underestimated her previously and she had done so again today. She decides it’s time to move past her feelings for Jon. Romana thinks a part of her will always love him, always want him but Rose is correct. The situation is what it is and neither Jon nor Rose asked for this. The council did their research on Rose; Romana knows she was not the aggressor in her relationship with Jon. She knows Rose even tried to leave him at the very beginning. Her past with Jon is exactly that: past. Even if he’d never met Rose, there was never a guarantee that he’d return to Gallifrey or her. She had hoped what they shared before his parents death was a…beginning…a promise, but has she held onto that foolishly? Is she remembering her time with Jon through the eyes of a love struck girl? He certainly never made her any promises then, never said he wanted a future with her and there was no shortage of women before or after her night with him.

Romana had just assumed that night meant as much to him as it did her. Oh God, he never loved her. She had been holding out all this time with the certainty that he would return to her, that once he grew up and got his youthful passion under control he would claim his throne and her with it. It’s time to move past youthful fantasies Romana decides. Rose has not harmed her in any way and to hold her accountable for her own feelings of rejection and inadequacy would be petty…small minded. She makes the decision then and there that she will do whatever she can to assist Rose in this transition. It won’t be easy seeing Jon with Rose and it will be a monumental undertaking preparing Rose to be Queen, but she has already proven she can be caring, compassionate, loyal and firm if needed. She’ll be a wonderful wife to Jon and with help a truly wonderful addition to Gallifrey.

“Rose?” Jon says as she enters the hall. He felt everything Rose felt throughout the conversation with Romana. He even caught a few thoughts from Rose while she was in the room. They weren’t really helpful in understanding what the hell was going on, but he caught enough to keep him from busting through the door and demanding answers. Once Rose’s fear and self loathing hit him, Jon’s ever present protectiveness and possessiveness flared, forcing him to walk the halls until it either subsided on its own (which it did not) or Rose came out of the room (which she finally did).

“It’s fine Jon really, private…a…girl thing. It’s been handled,” she says waving off his concern, “Now, where were we?

It may have been a girl thing but it’s definitely not fine, Jon thinks as they make their way into the room. Rose is angry, sad, confused and…oh sick, morning sickness he thinks just before she pukes all over the floor. Jon rushes her to the loo and closes the door behind them before anyone has a chance to say anything. They still haven’t told the council about the baby and he’s unsure he wants to now. As Jon holds her hair and Rose continues to sick up, he thinks briefly of abdicating again. This is no longer just about him, there’s Rose to consider and he knows she’s terrified, and the baby; is it fair to place the burden of ruling a country on a child? Does he want their children growing up knowing that their life doesn’t actually belong to them? Thought after thought rushes through him regarding his family and what kind of life they are going to have. These thoughts mix and mingle with memories of his childhood and when Rose is finally done sicking up he’s no closer to an answer.

Jon hands her a glass of water to rinse out her mouth, a cloth to wash her face and says, “Rose are you going to tell me what happened in there with Romana? And do not say it was nothing and it’s fine; you know that I know it’s not.”

“Jon, you know I’m going to tell you; just not right now. It’s been dealt with and hopefully it will no longer be an issue but out of respect for your friend, now is not the time. Later, when it’s just us we’ll talk about it yeah? For now though we need to get back out there and handle whatever is next and we need to tell them about the baby…if they don’t already know that is,” she says, trying to reign in her irritation as she leaves the loo.

“Okay, so again…what’s next on the agenda?” Rose asks the room.

“Are you sure you want to continue today Rose, you don’t seem to be feeling well?” Andred asks.

No time like the present she thinks, “I’m fine, it’s morning sickness; comes and goes,” she says, trying for casual, like she didn’t just drop yet another bomb on these people. And there it is…the emotions they can’t hide from her and she can’t help but notice. “So, what’s next?” she asks again.

“Pregnant? You’re pregnant?” Romana asks, completely caught off guard by this information.

“Yes, pregnant and feeling like shit at the moment so if we could move this along that’d be awesome,” Rose replies with irritation. She knows Jon is unhappy that she told them about the baby, but well…things hidden always have a way of coming out and better it come out now than at the worst time possible. Rose has no idea what the worst time possible would be, just that if they weren’t honest about it now, that’s when the information would come out…when it could do the most damage. She’ll deal with his irritation later, no time now.

“You mean your spies never informed you Romana?” Jon asks, still angry they had him monitored.

At his comment the room becomes chaotic and loud as everyone starts talking at once again. Rory and Amy defending his actions, Romana and Andred trying to explain theirs, Jackie chiming in wherever she can and Jon…livid as can be yelling and screaming about privacy invasion and betrayal. Rose takes in the mess before her and decides she’s had enough. Why can’t these people have a civil fucking conversation? She walks over to the only two quiet people in the room and grabs one hand of each of them. Without saying a word she leads them both from the room and closes the door behind them on the screaming group of people.

“Yes, right…Hello, I am Rose Tyler. We didn’t get a chance to be introduced earlier,” she says, offering her hand to the man standing with Susan.

“Toby, Miss Tyler, my…my names Toby,” stammers the young blonde, “I’m the Prince’s assistant.”

“Oh yes, hello we spoke on the phone yeah? You’re the one who got all this stuff together for us?” Rose asks.

“Yes,” he responds bowing to her.

“Thanks so much for doing that by the way. Now um…since they seem to be keen on the arguing bit, how bout’ you two give me a tour of the…castle? Is that what this is? Am I…are we in a real castle?” Rose asks?

Susan tries and fails to stifle a giggle, “Yes we are in the castle. Toby and I would be honored to show you around Rose.”

“Lovely, let’s start with the kitchen yeah? I think the baby is starved or somthin’,” she says rubbing her belly.

Jon is so angry about everything it takes him several hours to realize Rose is no longer there. He looks through the group of yelling people, finds that Susan as well as his personal assistant Toby are also missing. He searches the bond, checking for any sign of Rose. He can feel her happiness through the bond and then quite suddenly nothing. It’s as if a door was just slammed in his face and he remembers Matt saying something like that. She shut him out?! No…not completely, she’s still there…just…muted? He’s already pissed off and this…her locking down her half of the bond…No! She’d said she wouldn’t do that…well okay…she didn’t say that but just NO! Why’d she run off anyways? What could she possibly be doing?

“Jon? Jon…hey!” Amy says, snapping her fingers in his face.

“What?” he snaps, “What Amy? WHAT DO YOU WANT!?” he snarls at her.

Amy steps back several paces, Jon has these moments where he is truly frightening. There are times his rage and fury are so pronounced, tension visibly coiled in his muscles and he radiates power in a way that makes everything else seem small, unimportant; now is one of those times.

“Nothing, I…you just spaced out and…nothing, never mind,” she replies, small and timid.

Normally she would not put up with being spoken to like that but well…he’s more than a bit scary at the moment. Amy knows Jon would never physically hurt her but still…pissing off the future King in his own palace…probably not the best idea.

“Rory, call Matt, see if he’ll come here. I’m sure between the information he has and the information Romana and Andred have we can get this bond totally figured out…finally,” he says, rage evident is his voice as well as his features. Without another word he stomps out of the room and slams the door.

After checking their room and several other places in the palace for Rose, his frustration has grown immeasurably. He found her phone in their room along with a note that said, “back later” that’s it. No explanation as to why or where she went…nothing…no fucking information at all! It’s been 4 hours! He hasn’t seen her in 4 fucking hours and she didn’t even take her fucking phone so he can’t call and he is fucking livid as he slams through the front doors of the palace to find his wife.

Storming through the main streets of Gallifrey he sees how the people are looking at him. He knows he looks angry, unapproachable…because he is at the moment. Jon tries to change his features, doesn’t want the first time his people see him to be like this. He feels his face soften some and he tries to shake some of the tension in his muscles loose. Jon waves and smiles to people as he passes and it’s working…he’s felling less like he wants to tear someone apart with is bare hands. Several conversations and 3 hours later he finally stumbles upon Rose. She had made her way to the children’s hospital ward and is sitting in the middle of the floor, pillows and children surrounding her as she reads to them.

Taking in the image before him, Jon is remembers his mother. She was always doing things like this, reading to kids at hospital, visiting the orphanage, working with youth offenders or kids that were on their way to becoming offenders. Rose is going to be a wonderful mum he thinks, slinking into the shadows not wanting to interrupt. She’s going to make a wonderful Queen as well. Her lack of education and knowledge is dwarfed by her compassion and honesty. Jon thinks he has enough knowledge and education for the both of them as he watches her from the shadows. Once again he is reminded of how well they fit together in every aspect of their lives. Every piece of him fits so well with every piece of her. She is everything he is not and he is everything she is not. Two terribly broken and shattered people made whole by one another…it’s beautiful.

Rose knows he’s there, of course she does. She knew the moment he came looking for her, was surprised it took him this long to find her actually. Whenever she wants to know where he is the bond works like a homing beacon; she just thinks about him and instantly knows where he is. Rose takes her time with the children, finishes the story and answers all their questions. They have no idea who she is of course; to them she’s just some nice lady who came to entertain them for a while.

Jon watches as she reads another story, acting the parts out with puppets and voices. She had tried to leave after the last story but caved amidst the begging from the kids. “Okay one more, but then I really have to go,” she’d told them resituating herself for the puppet show. He watches as she sings, reads and acts out the parts, watches as the kids smile, laugh and sing along with her and he cannot stop the overwhelming feeling of love for her that rushes through him. He sees the flush rise in her skin and knows she felt it through the bond. She smiles and he just fucking melts; every ounce of anger or fear erased with that look. He has no idea why she ran off. He has no clue how to even begin to step up to his position as King, but he thinks as long as he has her…as long as she is willing to guide him through this, he’ll be okay…they will be…perfect.

Rose says goodbye to the children, promises to come back and do this all again another day and several of them rush to hug and thank her for her time. She walks straight to Jon, Susan and Toby following behind her and entwines her fingers through his, “Come on,” she says softly, “let’s grab a coffee and have a chat yeah?”

Jon smiles in silent acknowledgement and let’s Rose lead him from the hospital to a small coffee shop just down the road. Susan and Toby walk to the counter to place their orders while Rose leads Jon to a table and sits down. “So you’ve had the tour then, found my favorite coffee shop. Did Toby bring you here?” he asks. He knows she’s upset with him, with his behavior and he can’t really fault her for that. She’s been trying so hard to be mature about this, trying to stay focused on what needs to be done and he’s been…well less mature about it.

“Yeah, Susan and Toby they’re great,” she says, “I mean it would have been nice if it was you. I would have liked to see the city through your eyes, your memories but they did a wonderful job showing me about. I think…(Deep breath in, deep breath out) I think some people recognized me from the tape but no one said anything. I could feel them looking at me though and if…if they were close enough I could feel them…their emotions I mean.”

Toby and Susan return with their drinks, “Rose should we…do you want us to sit at another table?” Toby asks.

“No, of course not. I understand you’re our assistants but I’d like to think we can be friends too,” she says smiling, “Besides as our assistants you will have our schedules yeah? So what’s next on the agenda? Obviously today was shot to shit but um…tomorrow? What do we have tomorrow? It’d be nice to know ahead of time so I can be…better prepared…more capable of handling everything you know?”

“I think you handled yourself very well today Rose,” Susan says, “The children certainly loved you and the staff…very pleased.”

“Yeah, the kids may not have known who you were but the staff most assuredly did. A few of them asked about you, if it was really you. They were all highly impressed that you would spend your first day here at hospital with the kids,” Toby says, “More impressive however is the fact that you did not do it for publicity. The fact that it was you just being you, who you are as a real person…that will take you a long way with the people of Gallifrey Rose.”

“I don’t think you’re nearly as inept and unprepared to be Queen as you think you are,” Susan says kindly.

“Thanks,” Rose replies shyly, she’s not accustomed to being complimented and it causes her to blush, “So um…what’s up for tomorrow?” she asks trying to redirect the conversation off of her.

Toby and Susan begin to outline the day ahead of them and 20 minutes into the conversation Rose feels…something. Someone is watching her and it’s not out of curiosity. She can feel an intense cruelty coming from whoever it is. Her hand tightens around Jon’s and she stands from the table trying to locate where the emotion is coming from. Her fear courses through him, slithering along the bond…cold, raw and painful in its intensity. “What’s happened? What’s wrong? Is it the baby? Are you okay?” He rushes out.

“We need to leave, something…someone or something is not right here and we need to go now…please,” she says so quietly Jon almost couldn’t hear her.

Jon leads the small group from the shop and back to the palace. Several people stopped them along the way asking for pictures or making introductions and by the time they reach the palace doors, whoever or whatever that feeling came from is gone. “Toby, Susan, thank you for spending the day with me. It was a pleasure getting to know you and we’ll see you both in the morning,” Rose says smiling and pulling Jon into their room.

The minute the door closes behind him Jon has an arm full of trembling Rose. Whatever scared her in the shop is still scaring her, “Rose what’s happened Love, what’s wrong?” Jon asks quietly.

“Someone in the shop someone was watching me. It wasn’t like the others, not curiosity or even pity like some of the other people who recognized me. It was…I don’t know…hate…malice, just…bad,” she says burying herself further into him.

Her fear courses through him causing the possessiveness to flare once more and he tries to stifle it, extinguish it because they’re safe here, she’s safe here and he needs to be in control. He needs to get his fucking shit together. He’s been behaving like a spastic teenager since they arrived. Rose has been handling everything important on her own and he knows that’s completely unfair and now she’s terrified and his possessiveness isn’t going to help that. “Did you see anyone or could you…I don’t know pinpoint where it came from?” he asks, holding her tightly to him because she’s still fucking shaking.

Rose doesn’t respond, she grabs his forehead, places it to hers and places her fingers to his temples. She can’t explain what it was she felt, it was more than hate or malice. Rose focuses on what she felt, tries to remember that moment with perfect clarity and push it at Jon. She’s not sure if the bond works that way but it’s worth a shot.

Jon stumbles under the push; the hate so overpowering it causes his knees to buckle. Rose catches him and heads over to the bed so they can sit down. She waits for his breathing to even out and says, “I don’t know anyone here yet, how could I have caused someone to hate me so much already?” silent tears falling from her eyes.

“I don’t know but you’re not to leave the palace alone…better yet you’re not to be alone at all. Not until we discover what that was all about. Just No Rose,” he states seeing the look of annoyance on her face. I get that you’re perfectly capable of caring for yourself but it’s not just you is it? Not anymore, you are my wife and the mother of our child and whoever was watching you…it’s not a casual interest, so no…you will be guarded at all times. Am I clear?”

She wasn’t going to argue, not this time. Whoever that was scared the shit right out of her and they definitely wanted to hurt her in a bad way…obsessive and wrong and how could she have pissed someone off already? “Okay,” she responds softly, “I’m going to shower, and I’m starved. Is there…do we order like room service or something? I uh…they showed me the kitchen earlier, am I allowed to just go in there and get whatever I want or…I don’t know how any of this works Jon,” she says on a sigh.

She wants to go home, wants to crawl into her bed with her telly and Jon and forget they ever came here. She has tried all day to be a proper adult. To handle everything thrown at her with grace and dignity, how she thinks a proper Queen would respond but she doesn’t know what she’s doing at all. Now someone’s watching her and they are not happy she’s here. She just wants to go home she thinks again and she falls apart with that thought. Stupid, stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN! How could she have thought she could do this? She can’t even make through Tesco’s without a fucking panic attack; reason after reason for why she can’t or shouldn’t do this fly through her head and the tears start up again.

He can hear her, every thought she has ricocheting through his head. She doesn’t want this, doesn’t want to be here, wants to go home and never fucking leave again. Romana hates her, Andred thinks she’s stupid; the people in the city who recognized her pitied her. No one, not even he noticed she was gone for hours and she cannot fucking do this! Some crazy wakadoodle is stalking her already and what the fuck?! How can someone be stalking her already she’s not even been here a day! More self loathing thoughts rush through him as he watches her fall apart beside him and he tries to get her attention.

Jon has said her name several times now and he can’t seem to draw her out of this spiral she’s in. He tries shaking her…gently of course not wanting to distress her further and received no response. If one was to look at her they’d thinks she was perfectly calm, crying but calm. Internally though she’s so far gone he cannot get a response from her and it’s scaring the hell out of him. Jon places his forehead to hers, his lips cover her own and he pushes as hard as he can how much he loves her at the same time he pushes his tongue through her lips.

This time her response is immediate and not at all what Jon was expecting. Her hands card through his hair and she falls back pulling him fully atop her; the horrific thoughts she was having disappear. Replaced with lust and heat and him and fuck…he’s going to cum in his fucking pants…again and he groans pushing himself harder onto her. Clothes ripped and thrown across the room, no finesses, no loving touches, just heat and now and fuck yes as he slams into her. Rose is clawing, biting, scratching, crying and screaming; tears falling from her eyes and his name amid several very vulgar profanities falling from her lips. Jon feels her tug his hair and her nails draw blood on his back as she sobs through her climax; writhing and begging beneath him, “Don’t stop, Fuck, Oh GOD Jon,” she screams.

Her entire day plays out before him like a video, her perspective and emotions of the events slam into him as forcefully as he’s slamming into her. The conversation with Romana, the people watching her as she walked through the city with Toby and Susan, they way they looked at her and their emotions that she picked up, all of that hits him at once but it’s the last thought that forces him to stop. She believes he’s only with her, only loves her because of the bond. Rose honestly believes he wouldn’t have given her a moments thought if it weren’t for the bond. He feels that so strongly and it’s breaking her. “Rose,” he says softly, trying to get her to calm down. She’s still moving, writhing under him, sobbing and grasping at him trying to pull him closer, terrified he’s going to see she can’t do this.

Jon grabs her hands and holds her down until the thrashing subsides and waits until her breathing slows and she opens her eyes to him. There is so much pain looking back at him from those eyes he loves so much. He places his forehead to hers, “I love you Rose. Not because of the bond but because of who you are, who I am with you, I love you. You heard them today, not all flames find there other half and it’s rare that they do. I didn’t fall in love with those other women because they weren’t you. Yes, some of them would have been a better match politically; some had more education, training in how to act in certain settings, but none of them, not one of them could capture my attention. I don’t care about any of that, training, education, money…none of that matters. If you had met me and there was no bond would you have loved me?” he asks, scared and quiet not sure he wants her to answer.

Rose wraps her arms around his neck and holds to him tightly, “Yes,” she says still weeping quietly, “I would have loved you anyways.”

“It’s the same for me Rose. Yes, I could have had any number of other women but none of them would have been you. I could never have just been me with them. You love me…all of me; the broken, messed up parts just as much as the put together parts right,” he asks? She shakes her head in agreement. “It’s the same for me. I love you because you accept who I am completely. I never have to hide or pretend to be okay if I’m not. I can fall apart or be an arse and you’ll still love me, still want me. The bond didn’t make that happen, we made that happen. The bond…it’s just…reassurance yeah,” he says, feeling her emotions calming, feeling her relax under him. “I didn’t know about Romana,” he says quietly, “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “It’s okay. I imagine I’ll come up against many women who’ve fallen for you. It’s not as if I can’t understand why,” she says trying to smile.

Jon rolls to the side folding himself around her. As much as he wants to finish making love to his wife, it’s not what she needs right now. He holds her close and they talk about the plans for tomorrow, eventually she calms enough that she falls asleep against him. He replays the events of the day through Rose’s perspective, still unsure how she was able to send that to him but he’ll worry about that later. She had tried so hard to keep everyone moving forward, keep them focused on what needed to be taken care of and they all responded like small children. Rose had said repeatedly that what they were arguing about didn’t matter, it was too late; these issues were already here and had to be dealt with and not one of them gave a shit. He was a complete arse today and he knows it. Jon was so wrapped up in his own internal bullshit about coming home and taking his place that he shunted everything else, all the responsibility onto Rose.

How unfair was that!? He at least grew up knowing that one day Gallifrey would be his responsibility. And she took it, without complaint or any disagreement whatsoever she took it. She allowed him the time to adjust to being home, to get his feet firmly under him by taking their entire world on her shoulders…alone and scared out of her mind. No more, he decides. It’s time he grew up and was an equal partner to her. Rose has had to carry his weak, scared arse long enough through this relationship; tomorrow that changes. Tomorrow he will be the man he was meant to be, born to be…with Rose and he allows sleep to overcome him.


	30. Chapter 30

Jon wakes shortly before sunrise filled with a new sense of purpose and determination. He was an arse yesterday; squabbling with his council and their friends over matters that are no longer important. Well…he thinks it’s not that they are unimportant, they have just already happened; arguing about things that cannot be changed is unimportant and pointless would be more accurate. He had abandoned Rose, so caught up in petty bullshit that he hadn’t even noticed she’d left! He’s not sure how that even happened with their bond. She had tried diligently to get them all to listen; to focus on what needed to happen next rather than on what had already occurred and no one listened. Hours were wasted on bickering about the bond, the baby, the wedding or his becoming King; all things that have either already occurred or are assured to occur soon. Showered, dressed and prepared to focus on moving forward, Jon heads to his office leaving Rose sleeping in their bed.

When he opens the door it is to the smiling face of his assistant Toby. “Good morning Sire,” he says, handing Jon a cup of coffee and a file folder.

“Morning Toby,” Jon replies amused, “How did you know when I’d be in here?”

“It’s my job to know these things,” Toby grins back to him.

“Okay…right…well, what’s on the agenda for today? Has anyone set up the press conference yet? We’ll need to have someone working with Mrs. Tyler on the wedding details. Do you know anyone? Is Romana up and about yet? Also, I’d like you to call Jack, Matt and Clara; ask them to come here for a bit. Jack will ask to bring Christian, its fine. Where’s Susan? She’s not to leave Rose’s side for any reason, also I’d like one of the guards posted with her at all times. She is not to be alone at any moment, do you understand?” Jon asks harshly.

“Yes Sire, there is a guard posted on the door now and Susan is merely waiting for Rose to wake up. The press conference has been scheduled for 1:00 p.m. today. You have already assigned Romana to be at Mrs. Tyler’s beck and call for the wedding planning, are you considering posting that position to someone else? I do think Romana’s attentions and skill could be better applied elsewhere Sire, wedding planning isn’t really her…specialty. I do know a few party planners and called them in to meet with Mrs. Tyler today. She’ll choose the one that best fits her needs. I called your friend Mr. Harkness last night. He assured me that him, Mr. Smith and Ms. Oswald would be at the airport this morning ready to fly out on the jet, which I sent last night. He did ask if Mr. Lanes could accompany him, I of course told him that he was more than welcome. I also took the liberty of contacting Dr. Jones she said she’d be happy to come here for Rose’s next visit,” Toby says as he hands Jon a piece of paper.

“Toby, do you ever sleep? How did you manage to get all of this done overnight?” Jon asks still amused, mulling over the paper that was handed to him…his speech for the press conference today and he groans, “And where is Romana? Please inform her that I’d like to see her right away.”

“Yes I sleep, it was but a few calls to accomplish everything. This is your speech for the press conference. There will of course be questions from the crowd as well as the journalists but you and Rose should be fine, she’s a bright young lady. She’s strong, loyal, compassionate and honest, everything a proper Queen should be. I know she’s terrified of the reception from the citizens of Gallifrey but I truly believe she need not worry. You have chosen your partner well; she has an inner light about her that draws people in. I will go and let Romana know you wish to see her. Is there anything you need before I go Sire,” Toby asks, bowing before him?

“Erm…err…well you could quit doing all that,” Jon replies waving his hand over Toby’s form, “and no need for Sire, Jon...just Jon is fine,” he sighs.

“Err…Jon,” Toby says unsure, “If you’d prefer Jon than I will of course adhere to that, however when we are in public or around the council members, it’s important that the people of Gallifrey see you and Rose as taking this seriously. I understand wanting less formality in your home but outside of here you and Rose both need to get accustomed to being royalty…because you are,” he says flatly before leaving.

Jon sits at his desk drinking his coffee and looking over his speech. It’s not really more than, ‘Hey thanks, great to be back’, just wordier. Knock, knock, knock, softly on his office door, “Yes, come in,” he hollers from the desk and Romana enters the room, closing the door behind her.

“Good Morning Jon, how did you sleep,” she asks?

“Uh…yeah good, fine,” he replies nervously, tugging his wonky earlobe. “Um…we should talk yeah? About uh…well us I guess,” he says awkwardly.

Jon sees Romana flush, her head bow slightly, “There’s no need, Miss Tyler made very clear how this is to play out,” she says softly, “I had hoped she’d have kept the conversation private, there’s really no need for this.”

“She did keep it private,” he sighs, “Rose didn’t tell me anything that you discussed with her. However, due to the bond…anyways…don’t get all…pissy with her. I am sorry that you were hurt, that was never my intention. I had no intention back then other than getting laid actually, but I was young, we were young; only 16. That was before my family died and before everything else happened. I’m not that same kid anymore and you are not the same girl either. I had no idea that you had hoped all these years that night would turn into more and I am sorry. You are my friend, have been for a long time and I don’t want this to be an issue. With that being said I feel I need to make clear some things. Rose and our child will always come first, there will never be a me and you beyond friendship Romana and if that is something that you cannot abide with or if you cannot support Rose 100% in her place by my side,” he pauses (deep breath in, deep breath out), “Then I will have no choice but to replace your position on the council.”

“I understand and can assure you this will be of no further issue. Miss Tyler has my full support and I will do whatever you or her need to make this transition as easy as possible,” Romana states professionally. She thinks she means it, thinks she can put this behind her…him behind her. It’s been 17 years after all and she’s lived just fine without him.

“Great, lovely uh…thank you,” he stammers, “Now onto other business. I need this wedding planned by the end of next week. I’d like to be married prior to the crowning ceremony and that is 3 weeks from now, so need to get on that right away. I do understand that you have other matters to attend to,” he says, stopping her before she interrupts him, “Toby is bringing in wedding…planning people to assist Jackie. The only thing I want from you regarding the wedding is to check in each evening with Jackie and then a report on the progress the next morning to me. Other than that you are released from all babysitting and party planning duties. Okay…um…there was,” he stops and tries to figure out how to explain this to Romana. She knows Rose is empathic but he’s not sure how much she actually knows and isn’t sure how much he wants her to know. Then again…Rose has said this entire time to be honest about everything, “someone watching Rose yesterday at the shops in town. I’d like all CCTV footage gone through from her walkabout yesterday. Someone was following her; trying to scare her. I want to know who it was. This will be your top priority Romana; I want this done quietly and quickly. I have no idea who I can actually trust here in Gallifrey now, so you cannot talk to anyone about this. I am trusting you to keep her safe, to keep my family safe, do you understand?” Jon asks pleadingly.

“Yes Jon, I understand. I’ll start right away,” she says leaving the room.

Hours go by filled with meeting after meeting. Accountants, attorneys, the entire council; Jon meets with all of them. He knows Rose is up and about, can feel her through the bond, which he’s made sure to leave open. If she has any distress whatsoever he wants to know immediately. Jon has no clue what she’s doing but can tell she’s stressed; not horribly so though. Once he finishes with the council and confirms that yes, he is taking his position as King, yes he is to be married and yes there is a new heir to the throne, he then has to go over the videos with them. How are they going to be addressed in the press conference? What is he going to say to the people regarding his long absence? Is Rose going to be able to handle all the questions without breaking down? Several more lectures on the importance of appearing strong, confident and in control and when he looks up it’s half noon already.

Jon rushes to their room, dresses for the press conference then seeks out Rose. They need to go over what they are going to say to the press. He finds her in the library with Jackie and what he assumes is the wedding planner she chose. Jon walks to Rose and kisses her lightly, “We need to go over our thoughts for the press conference Love, it’s at 1:00 p.m.,” he says softly.

“Yeah, I’ve gone over the speech Susan gave me,” she sighs, “I feel like they have underestimated my ability to handle these things Jon. I don’t want to come off as weak or needing to be taken care of and these responses,” she says waving the paper at him, “Have you read them? What they want me to say? It’s…well a little demeaning actually,” she sighs again handing him the paper.

Jon reads over the responses she is to provide and he’s not pleased. She’s right; it makes her sound weak, needy and incompetent. Rose is none of those things; this paper makes it sound as if he is some white knight who rushed in a saved her from her dreadful existence and without him she would be nothing and no one. “This is rubbish,” he states hotly, tossing the paper in the bin, “Susan did you write that for her?”

“No Sire, that was the councils doing,” she replies quietly.

Jon releases a snort of derision and says, “Of course it was. They want me to come off as a hero or some horseshit like that. Rose, just…” he trails off, taking her hands in his, “just be you yeah? Answer the questions as Rose Tyler; former Powell Estates resident, former shop girl, future Queen of Gallifrey and the woman I love and you’ll be…we’ll be fine. If we’re to do this…then it’s to be done properly, honestly. Gallifrey does not need a King who is the hero of a broken woman. They need a King and a Queen who care about the future of this country and its people. We can be that easily enough because we already are yeah,” he says running his hands up and down her arms soothingly.

Rose laughs a bit and leans in to kiss him lightly. “I had no intention of saying those things Jon. Now, more importantly…how do I look? Good for the press conference? Susan helped me pick out the clothes and did you know I have a stylist? Like a personal one? That was…well I’d like to say weird but really it was rather cool,” she says smiling.

“You look beautiful Rose, you always do,” he says softly kissing her again. Before he can deepen the kiss however, Susan is pulls Rose from him.

“Time enough for that later,” she states tersely to Jon, “I’ll not have you mucking up her make-up before she’s on the telly. Now we have 15 minutes before the press conference; do you need to wee or…uh are you gonna sick up?” she asks Rose.

“No and no…at least not yet,” Rose laughs.

“Lovely, let’s get some water and a few crackers in you to help the sickness and off we’ll go,” Susan says very chipper, “I know you’re nervous Rose, but Jon’s right; just be you and the people will love you okay?”

“Yep, right…Just be me,” she says downing the water and saltines before she takes Jon’s hand, “Come on mum, you’re expected to be there as well. Donna’s to be there too I assume?”

“Yes, she’s already down in the conference room making sure everything is ready,” Susan states.

“Oh, why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped with that,” Rose replies.

Susan sighs a long breath and looks at Rose sternly. “Rose, you are the future Queen of this country, you cannot be seen about setting up chairs and pouring coffee. I think it is wonderful, admirable even that you would want to do such things but you have an image to present to the public of this country. I understand you do not want to appear…stuck up, that you want them to know who you are as a person and that is lovely, wonderful, because you are a beautiful person but show them through actions like yesterday. We all have our roles and parts to play Rose and yours is not to be setting up chairs and placing flatware on tables,” Susan chides.

Jackie looks on as Susan talks with Rose and at first she wants to rally against what she’s saying. If they want Rose to be Rose then settin’ up chairs and pourin’ coffee is exactly what she should be doing. But as the conversation goes on she realizes that’s not who Rose is any longer. Her daughter is about to be the Queen of this whole flippin’ country! It’s finally settling in her what this means, her whole life is going to change. She’s no longer going to be the mother of Rose Tyler, beaten down, broken, low wage uneducated shop girl from London; she’s the mother to a Queen and the mother in law to King! Jackie moves to Rose, grabbing the hand Jon is not currently squeezing to death, looks at her daughter and future son and says, “We can do this Rose, you and me and Jon…we’re family and ain’t nothin’ stronger than that. Now, let’s go out there and show em’ all what we already know yeah?” she says confidently with a beaming smile. Jackie does not wait for either to reply as she starts hauling them from the room.

Family, Jon thinks as he’s pulled from the room. He has a family again. Rose, the baby and Jackie…they are his family now. He straightens himself, pulls himself together; Jackie’s right, they can do this. He will be the man he needs to be for his family this time. They are everything to him and he will do or be whatever is necessary to ensure not only their safety but their happiness as well.

As they approach the conference room Rose can hear the clamoring of everyone in there, can feel waves of emotions coming from the room. Excitement, anticipation and a small amount of worry crash over her and she stops just short of the door. Rose releases both her mum and Jon’s hands and leans against the wall, palms flat against it and her forehead resting on it. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) Be a grown up, be professional, be smart and witty and honest, DO NOT CRY, DO NOT CRY, keep your shit together. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) She pushes off the wall, straightens her shoulders, brings her head up and smiles to them both, “Okay, let’s do this,” she says confidently, because she is confident. They can do this together, maybe not alone…but together Jon and her can do anything she thinks.

The 3 of them step into the room together and silence descends. Rose looks about the room and everyone she knows is there. Jack and Christian, Amy and Rory, Matt and Clara, Donna and Lee, Susan and Toby and every person she’s met since arriving in Gallifrey is here. She want s to ask Jon why they are all here but knows now is not the time. As she makes her way with Jon and her mum to the table set up for them she sees Martha as well and smiles at her. Literally everyone, even her OBGYN is here to see this…OH GOD she’s going to fall apart she thinks as she sits down. Rose feels Jon tighten his grip on her hand, knows he’s at the very least feeling how nervous she is, more likely he’s actually hearing her thoughts. She knows that’s been happening more often and she knows the bond is fully open, she looks to Jon and gives a small grimace in apology and he smiles back as he takes his seat next to her. Jackie on one side, Jon on the other and Rose brings her head up to the room and smiles.

It’s real he thinks, just as beautiful and just as devastating to him as the first time he saw it. So strong his Rose, he thinks as he stands and addresses the crowd, “Hello everyone. Thank you for attending on such short notice. I know you all have a lot of questions and we have a lot to cover. You should have all been given a number as you walked in the doors. Because there is so many of us here each person will be given the opportunity to ask 3 questions, I’m sure many of you have the same questions and this will save us all a bit of time. Now who’s lucky number 1?” Jon asks the group before him.

The next 5 hours are spent fielding questions of political importance as well as personal. How long until the wedding? Will they be staying in Gallifrey or returning to Cardiff? How is Rose’s lack of education going to affect political changes? Is she going back to school? What does she believe is important, what are her values and morals? Is Jon prepared to take on his role politically after being gone for so long? Why was he gone? Did he not feel it would have been better to mourn his parents with the rest of Gallifrey? How could he abandon them in such a time of emotional crisis?

Jon and Rose manage to answer all of the questions with only minimal discomfort shown. Things had been going well enough until someone finally brought up the tape of Rose and her past. “Miss Tyler, you are seen in the footage clearly under the influence of heroin as well as other substances that were identified in the background, and is it correct that you stayed in that situation for 5 years? Why did you not leave or go to the police? How are young women supposed to look to you for guidance, see you as a role model, someone to strive to be like if you allow yourself to be treated in such a way? If you have no respect for yourself how are we to think you have any for us or how are we to have any for you?” the journalist asks.

This is it…the moment of truth and she can feel all eyes settle on her. The council watching her every move and she can feel the apprehension coming from them in waves that roll over her. All of her friends are here watching, waiting and she knows they are here to support her but part of her thinks this would be easier if the room were all strangers. Jon is beside her, his fingers entwined with hers. She can feel the rage and possessiveness spark in him as she dallies on answering. Rose tightens her grip quickly, leans in and whispers in his ear, “It’s okay Jon, we knew they would ask. I’m okay,” before she releases his hand and stands in front of the crowd.

Eyes closed (Deep breath in, deep breath out) eyes open, “As you can imagine it’s extremely upsetting the video was aired. I would like to point out that what was shown on telly was an edited version of the events that occurred. It’s also important to remember that the girl on that tape is 16 years old and the woman before you now is 27; I am no longer that girl. I would also urge you to look at your children, nieces or nephews, brothers, sisters and friends of that age; how would you expect them to react in such a situation? It’s easy to condemn me now for my decisions in the past and I understand that, but as I said that was a long time ago. As you can see I’m here now so I did eventually get out of that relationship. The fact that I stayed for 5 years has little to do with the respect I had or now have for myself; I tried many times to escape. Sometimes life is hard and sometimes we make bad decisions, but making a bad decision does not make us a bad person. I was young, scared and alone. I had no family or friends to ask for help and I did the best I could with what I had at that time. The most important thing I want you to take away from this topic is that the events on the tape should not be the focus. Physical abuse is momentary; bleeding stops, bruises and broken bones heal, physical scars fade with time; it’s every moment after the abuse stops that defines a person. How they handle the recovery, if they are able to put their life together again once it’s over, if they can move forward from the horrific events or if they are crushed under the weight of it, these are the things I hope you focus on. When you dig into my past, when you crawl through every moment of my life; because you will and you should, I hope you see someone who worked hard and never gave up. I hope you see someone who took a stand, who said no and found the strength and courage to finally do the right thing,” Rose says before taking her seat again.

The council is pissed, she can feel it, they had given her a prepared statement and she completely ignored it. She refused to come off as weak and groveling for forgiveness. Rose was not about to reinforce what the public saw in the video. There was no reason to seek forgiveness from these people, she had done nothing to them and she is no longer that girl as she stated. Her best recourse was to answer the questions honestly and that is what she did, every word out of her mouth was the truth. The council may be upset and she may have to deal with the repercussions of that later, but she will not for one second act as if she was the one in the wrong. What Jimmy did to her was sick, twisted and evil. She’d rather the focus be on her recovery, on how she rebuilt herself and her life afterwards. If any good is going to come from the video being shown, it will be that they can see her now. If someone is living through or has lived through what she did, Rose wants to be a source of empowerment for them. She wants to show anyone who has had to live through something like that, that there is life afterwards. No, it’s not easy and yes it’s painful but it’s possible; that is the message she hopes is taken away today.

A few more political questions, a few more overly personal questions and the press conference is over. The crowd of journalists and other people file out of the room as Jackie, Rose and Jon follow the council through another door. “Miss Tyler, you were given a prepared statement! You were expected to answer all of the question with the answers provided to you, did you not understand that directive?” asks one of the council members.

“Of course I understood the…directive,” Rose says back patiently, “I simply chose to ignore it. The statement you provided would have made me appear weak, simple and small. I am none of those things. You want me to focus on the abuse, I refuse to do so. This is very simple, I will not be handled. I will not be cowed or cornered and you will not be allowed to bully me because you feel I’m less than you or beneath you in some way. Regardless of how you feel about my past or present I am to be Queen of Gallifrey, which is not up for debate. As such, I refuse to allow these people to see me as a weak, simpering, moronic child who had to be rescued by a white knight. Not one person in this room, save Jon, has any idea what happened during that time in my life; a 5 minute edited clip shown on the nightly news is not an accurate representation of the events. I understand as the council you have seen the video in its entirety and honestly that makes your behavior worse. I had to make a decision, one that would mold and shape the way the public views me from here on out. I could ask them to accept me, apologize for actions that were not mine nor were they my fault, I could stand before them and accept blame and responsibility, grovel for forgiveness or you know…not. You want the public to form an attachment to me through pity; you want me to appear broken so they feel like they have a hand in putting me back together! Let me make clear that is never going to happen. I do not have some fancy education; I grew up in a council flat with a dead dad and a drunken mum and I made mistakes. Those mistakes led me to be the person I am now and I’ll not seek forgiveness for that. What we should be focusing on is how the events that I lived through could help someone else. Right now, in this city under your watchful eye, I guarantee there is at least one person being beaten, a child being raped, someone scared and hiding under the sink from their spouse or boyfriend. For you to think otherwise makes you an idiot sir not me,” Rose says harshly.

“You are an incompetent, petulant child,” he snaps, “You have no idea what politics are like, what needs to be said and how to manage such things as this! Do you think that marrying into royalty gives you the freedom to do as you like when you like? Entering into this contract with the Prince is an agreement that you will do what is best for Gallifrey. You are giving up freedom Miss Tyler not gaining it! From here on out you will do as you’re told and with no argument or…”

As the council threatens Rose, belittles her and looks down on her Jon’s rage begins to reach a staggering level. Moments before he grabs this man and throws him out of not only the office but also the government entirely Rose takes his hand. She knows he’s about to lose it and that cannot happen now. While Rose listens to the man tell her how things truly work she tries to send every thought she has to Jon through the bond. She needs him to calm down, needs him to trust that she can handle this. She knows what the council is doing but Jon doesn’t. Being an empath is really coming in handy she thinks; this is a game…well maybe not a game but definitely a test. They gave her that speech to see how she would react, to see if she would be intimidated and to test her strength.

“Or what? What will you do? What can you do?” Rose yells, “Nothing, that’s what. There is nothing you can do to me! You don’t get it do you? The very worst thing you can do is disapprove of me and my relationship with Jon. You’ve let the fact that Jon has been gone go to your heads, you think you have complete authority! Well, you have no authority over me and I will not be made over into whatever you people think I should be! This is who I am, if you don’t like it too fucking bad! There are many things in this world that scare the shit out of me, fuck just going to Tesco’s can throw me into a panic attack; you people though…you don’t scare me. I could give a fuck for royalty, Kings and Queens and councils and shit! I hold no aspirations of power or control of others, so this…all of this,” she says waving about the room, “It means nothing to me; my family, my friends, our lives and the lives of the people of Gallifrey that is what matters. The only thing you need to be concerned about is whether or not my intentions for the future of Gallifrey are good or bad. I can assure you any plans I have now or for the future are with only the best of intentions. With that being said; I’m done here. It’s almost 7 p.m., I’m tired and pregnant and hungry. If you’ll excuse me I need to eat something before I sick up on your very posh feet!” she says storming from the room, Susan close behind.

Jon felt everything Rose pushed at him, knows she knew what the council was really doing and she handled it perfectly…he however is still livid. He watches as she storms from the room and checks the bond again to assure himself she’s okay. “Let me make this clear, this was your one shot at my wife. You have tested her and she passed that test. Should any of you and I don’t care who you are or how long you have been in your position, should any of you take that tone or stance with my wife again your position in this government will end. You will be dismissed with no severance, no benefits, none of the bonuses that are afforded to members who retire,” he grates out, trying to control his anger, “Do we have an understanding?”

“Sire, Miss Tyler has shown herself to be strong, resilient, honest and compassionate; we see no reason to test that further. You may disapprove of our methods but we have jobs to do as well. Please be assured that you have the full support of the council as well as the Prime Minister behind you in your choice for Queen,” the council member states, bowing respectfully, “However, there is the issue of you referring to Miss Tyler as your wife. You have not been legally wed yet Sire and referring to her in such a way is…premature.”

“It’s paper and grandstanding,” Jon says dismissively, “In all ways that matter she is my wife and I am her husband. I’ll continue to refer to her as such and I don’t give a rat’s arse if you find it inappropriate or premature. The people of Gallifrey want a family back on the throne and we are going to give them that…now. In less than 2 weeks the ceremony will occur and only days after that the crowning. Rose is my wife and that is how I’ll continue to address her personally as well as publicly. Not one person made comment about that in the press conference and at this point it seems you are looking to find any small thing to bitch about. If you’re displeased with my campaign, moving forward you need not be part of it.”

“Jon, the council is here to advise you and help you,” Romana says kindly, “You have been away a very long time and are not accustomed to your position. You left Gallifrey before you had the proper training to take over as King, and whether you like it or not as I said, this is our function. To assure you serve Gallifrey in the best way you can, you would do well to heed our advice.”

“In matters of state and policy…yes; in matters of my personal affairs…no. Rose and I will not be told how to be married or how to live our lives personally. You have no say in such things. How would you feel if I came to your home and demanded that you behave in whatever way I deem appropriate? Or told you who you were allowed to be with? These are not the concerns of the council and as I said anyone who treats my wife with such disrespect moving forward will be terminated. Now, unless you have something else that needs to be addressed I am going to have dinner with my family,” he states trying for joviality, but mostly coming across angry and tense.

Jon enters the dining hall with Toby close behind to see everyone is at the table. Jack and Christian, Matt and Clara, Rory and Amy, Martha, Rose, Jackie and Susan all look up as he enters and a huge grin covers his face. Rather than sitting at the head of the table he slides into a chair to the right of Rose and points to the empty chair next to Susan for Toby. This action does not go unnoticed by…well everyone present.

“Sire…err, Jon,” Toby stutters out, “You, there…your place is at the head of the table. Eventually you will have to accept your birthright.”

“I do accept it,” Jon says grinning at the table of his family and friends. “This though,” he says waving to the room, “has nothing to do with birthright Toby. This is dinner with my family and friends, not a courtly party. Relax, enjoy dinner, have a conversation…not every moment has to structured or dramatic. When I need to be King I will, for now though I’m just Jon alright?” he smiles to his assistant, “Look at Susan, she seems fine, no issues…take a cue from her.”

Dinner is served, everyone falling into conversations and Rose lays her head on Jon’s shoulder. She’s actually feeling rather chuffed with herself. She almost had a panic attack today, first with the press and then again with the council but she didn’t. She was able to keep herself together, not be trampled by these people and get her point across in a way that was clear and decisive. Maybe she can do this she thinks as she nibbles on a carrot; maybe all this royalty stuff isn’t as scary as she thought. To her it seems like the last few years of secondary school; cliques and bullies, being judged on what you wear or what you look like rather than the person you are. She hated that, it was part of the reason she left school to begin with; never feeling like she was good enough, never fitting in with any one group. She fits here though, with these people…her people, and for the first time Rose can ever remember she is completely at peace with her life.

Sure, scary things are going to happen; issues are going to crop up. There’s a wedding to plan, a crowning ceremony, a swearing in ceremony and so many other things that have to be handled just right, but for the first time she isn’t terrified. With Jon and the rest of her people helping her, guiding her; Rose truly believes she can do this and that…well…that is just fucking brilliant.

Jon watches Rose lost in thought, small smile gracing her lovely features and her happiness and pride in herself flowing through him. Her thoughts as clear to him as her emotions and he remembers how broken she was, how broken they both were when they found each other. It’s only been a month and they have both come so far together, already repairing the damage that had been done to them. 4 short weeks ago he was an entirely different person. He was scared and weak, sad and so lonely; it never mattered who or how many people he filled his life with, he was always alone; same as Rose. Now though, he thinks as he looks at his family and friends; now he has a purpose again. A reason to get up every day, a reason to be a better man, a reason to be the kind of man his parents would be proud of.

One by the one couples leave the table, retiring for the evening until it’s only Jon, Rose, Toby and Susan. “Well, how’d I do then?” Rose asks.

“Very well Rose,” Susan says kindly, “I believe you showed the council exactly what they needed to see and handled the press beautifully.”

“Not focusing on the abuse and placing the emphasis on moving forward was brilliant. Having never been in that position I can only imagine what it must be like to have those private details splashed about like cannon fodder for the masses. You maintained your composure and dignity by not allowing them to draw you into the muck and drama while still showing concern and compassion for how the events may have affected the people. Very well done indeed,” Toby says, huge grin on his face, “and the strength you showed in front of the council…that was a sight to behold.”

“Yeah, I did god today didn’t I?” Rose laughs, “Honestly, there were a more than a few times I thought I may wee myself. How’d it go after I stormed the castle…so to speak,” she smiles and laughs at Jon.

“Oh very well, they were incredibly impressed with you Rose, as they should be. You are brilliant and wonderful and magnificent,” Jon says against her lips kissing her, “Now though, you are exhausted and in need of sleep. Let’s go to bed yeah?”

Yeah, okay” she sighs, grabbing the whole cheesecake and a fork as she stands from the table, “Night guys and …thank you for today, for trusting that I knew what I was doing. It really means so much to me…so thanks.”

“Rose, would you like me to cut you some of that?” Susan asks pointing to the cheesecake.

She feels her face flush with embarrassment before she responds, “No…erm…thanks but uh…the baby wants cheesecake,” she says, winking at Susan before following Jon from the room.

Jon wastes no time in removing the dessert from her hands and the clothes from her body as soon as they are in their room. Rose giggles as she stands naked before him, laughing as he tries getting his clothes off and only succeeds in getting his trousers down to his knees, his shoes caught in them, his arms and head stuck in his shirt. “Less laughing, more helping yeah?” he says, muffled from his shirt over his face.

She laughs again as she helps him from his clothes and once he’s free he pouts at her. “Laughing is not a positive precursor for what I had planned,” he whines.

“And just what did you have planned My Prince?” Rose asks coquettishly, her tongue poking through her teeth and looking at him through dark lashes.

The look on her face in conjunction with her naked form before him and the burst of arousal she sends along the bond breaks him. He had planned on talking, telling her how proud he was of her and the way she’s handled everything, telling her how lucky he is that he has her and how he wants nothing more than to make her happy. Now though all he wants is to hear her screaming his name and how much she loves him while writhing in ecstasy beneath him or over him or beside him…he no longer cares. “Not this,” he responds with a filthy grin, grabbing her in his arms and laying her on the bed, “but I am more than agreeable to the change in plans,” he says sliding between her parted thighs, slinking down her body and burying his face in her already wet curls.

“Miss Tyler poses a larger challenge than expected sir,” Andred says into the phone quietly, hiding in his loo closet.

“Yes Andred, I saw the press conference today,” grates a man’s voice, “I had hoped that would throw her off her game. I didn’t want this to become…nasty. Worse than the press conference she has somehow won the approval of the council as well as the Prime Minister! How could you let this happen?” he demands.

“I only did as you instructed sir,” Andred states flatly. He knows this man is powerful and has no desire to piss him off but he also does not want to be his puppet any longer. He’d been forced to supply all the information the council had gathered on Rose and Jon, a traitorous act by any definition. Andred had intentionally withheld any information pertaining to the bond or the baby; a traitor he may be now but he will have no part in harming his future King or his soon to be wife and child. Blackmailed into providing paperwork is one thing, being part of whatever is to happen now that this man’s plans had failed…no…he’ll be having no part of that. “This concludes our arrangement sir and I’ll not hear from you further,” he states harshly.

“Our arrangement ends when I say Andred not the other way around. You do not give orders you take them or must I remind you of the information I have to provide to your King and country? Won’t he be pleased to discover who you really are?” he says giddily, “I’ll be in touch soon with further instructions, do nothing until then,” is the last words Andred hears before the line goes dead.

He’s too far in now, should have told Jon as soon as he landed in Cardiff. Andred had foolishly thought he could provide this man with the information on Rose and Jon and he’d be free. The information he’s being blackmailed with would be destroyed and no one would ever have known. Now he’s committed treason, an act punishable by death. Not that he thinks Jon would have him put to death for providing information that is basically public knowledge at this point but if this goes any further; if any harm were to come to Rose and his child…Jon would personally string him up in front of the castle and flay his skin slowly in demonstration, of that Andred is quite sure.

Jon is not an amoral man. He would never cause harm just to do it but if the bond between him and Rose is broken, if something were to take her from him…Jon’s morals would not be an issue, Andred knows this. He is aware of the bond, knows how it works, what it means and what will happen should they be separated. Beyond that, there’s Jon’s own lineage to worry over. Andred knows Jon has, on at least one occasion, been able to bring forth the power of his father’s bloodline. So he knows Jon is aware of at least some of what he can do. I am so fucked he thinks to himself. Rose, maybe she’s the one to approach? Jon’s protectiveness and possessiveness over her would likely cause him to throttle Andred before he could properly explain but then again there is the issue of the bond. Jon uses telepathy and Andred has no idea how to tell if or when he’s using it. He would have no way of knowing if Jon was listening to their conversation.

Romana maybe, he thinks. Maybe he can go to her and explain and she can help him out of this situation? This has been going on for so long now and he desperately wants out. For 17 years he has been supplying tidbits of information on Jon’s life to this man. He’s not even sure who it is! Andred has his suspicions but nothing concrete on his identity. If he comes clean now he’ll have to explain everything and that is not something he will be forgiven for. When Jon finds out he is the reason him and his friends were taken…no he has to find another way to get out of this.

“Again?” Rose asks giggling, running her fingers through his hair.

“Always,” Jon replies making his way down her body, leaving a trial of feather light kisses in his wake until he reaches his destination. “Hello love,” he says softly kissing her tummy, “Mummy picked your story tonight, so if it’s all princesses and kissing you can blame her,” he says laughing when she smacks him lightly on the back of his head. “Auntie Donna’s been a bad influence on your mummy.”

“You cannot only read pirate stories and Game of Thrones books to the baby,” Rose says happily, “He or she should have a well rounded…uh…literary experience while in utero,” she laughs.

“Mmmhmm, that was also a great album by Nirvana, yet another thing your mummy doesn’t want you listening to…yet,” he says to her belly. “Rose, do you want a boy or a girl?”

“We’ve had this talk Jon, I want twins…one of each,” she replies still carding her fingers through his hair.

“Yeah but that was a bit ago, thought I’d see if you’d changed your mind. Twins don’t run on either side so it’s unlikely that will happen,” he says.

“Yes, well…it was also unlikely that we would find each other according to everyone. Twin flames finding one another is rare, everything about us is rare and special and unusual. I choose to hold out hope that we get both,” she says tiredly and yawning.

“Hope,” he murmurs with his lips placed to her belly, “You gave me that. Did you know? Hope it’s a beautiful thing Rose. It can change a person’s outlook on life in just moments, you did that for me. When you took my hand, when you ran away with me, you gave me hope for a future, a life I never thought I could have,” he says making his way back up her body, the same trail of feather light kisses as before, “Thank you for that by the way. I don’t think I have ever said that,” he says soft and sweet as he kisses her. “Now, sleep. I’m sure they have another long day planned for tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” she responds, curling into his side, her head on his chest and one hand over his heart. Jon feels her breathe him in and the effect is instantaneous on him. Lust and heat and electricity and Rose taking over all rational thought as her lips wrap around his already erect shaft. Her tongue slides around the tip and her hand following the movement of her head bobbing up and down over him. His hands in her hair, hips thrusting his cock into her mouth and hitting the back of her throat and if he doesn’t pull her away soon he’ll be cumming in her mouth…again. That seems hardly fair, he did that earlier and he turns her onto her stomach. In one swift move he’s out of her mouth and sliding into her hot, wet channel.

Jon covers her entire body with his, her back pressed into his chest, every inch of skin touching between them and he stops. He waits for the electricity to build between them while he sucks on that spot on her neck that has her begging for him, pleading to fuck her and “Just …Fuck…Jon please, wanna cum,” Rose whines.

“Not yet,” he says biting into her neck causing her to buck against him. Jon reaches under her and pulls her up with him until she’s on her hands and knees and he can see his cock inside of her; sliding between her legs in and out over and over. He knows he’s going slowly enough that she won’t cum, not yet anyways. He can feel her climax building through the bond and stops moving entirely, pulling almost completely out her. “I’m so proud of you Rose,” he says softly at her ear, “You take everything that comes your way with such poise and grace. You keep me centered, balanced; you make me feel as though I can do this, do anything really. I know I haven’t been the man you need me to be since we arrived and I swear that stops today. Thank you for loving me, for making me better,” he says kissing her neck and sinking into her again. “I can be better for you, because of you and I’ll never abandon you again,” he says as he sinks his teeth into her neck and places his fingers on her clit.

She breaks apart at his words in her ear, his breath on her neck. Her orgasm swiftly courses through her amid screams of his name and how much she loves him, and he follows just behind her. “You make me better too you know? You do know that right?” she asks quietly once their breathing returns to normal.

“I know that you believe that,” he says just as soft, playing with her hair that’s lying across his chest, “but I also know that every step forward for us has been your doing. Every time I freeze you move, when I have no words you give them to me, when I feel weak you make me strong.”

“And each time I fall apart you put me back together. Each time I tell myself I cannot possibly do this you make me believe I can do anything,” she whispers as sleep starts to pull her under, “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts love, before we were…broken, torn in half. Together nothing can take us away from each other and we just have to remember that,” she slurs before falling asleep against him.

She keeps focusing on the fact that she never went to school, never got her A-levels but she’s not seemed lost or unable to follow any conversation she’s been privy to. Mathematics, politics, literature, philosophy; she has been able to keep up with him as well as anyone else in every topic. Jon traces his memories of her life and he can see reading, studying, and learning trying to better herself in between the beatings and fights with Jimmy. Every second he’s not around she’s trying to make a better life for herself. She thinks she gave up, believes that she deserved what he gave her because she didn’t try hard enough to get out, he knows that is what she feels about herself deep down.

Jon also knows there is no point in mentioning it or trying to dissuade her from that idea. That is something he can only change in time and he will. He’ll get Rose to see herself the way he sees her eventually. He wishes it was as easy for him as it was for her. Once the bond completed, once he saw and felt how she sees him…it was…not easy to accept but…easier for him than her obviously. He has no doubts about who he is or the man Rose has allowed him to become anymore. She showed him who could be and he will spend every moment trying to be that man for her.

He lays there holding her for hours, probing the bond, testing what he can and cannot do with it. When he discovers he can go into her memories, it’s by complete accident. Though this explains how she was able to send him her memories yesterday. Yesterday, maybe he can see something she didn’t, notice something her fear and panic kept her from seeing and he traces her memories backwards. He watches the day flash before him like rewind on a video tape and does his best not get caught up in Rose’s internal chaos. No matter how calm and collected she appears on the surface, she’s a mess internally all the time…well except once; the night he proposed. As he continues tracing the day an emotion flashes through him and he stops the memories.

It’s not Rose’s emotion, it’s one she picked up from…there and he focuses in on the feeling, lets it direct his vision to where its coming from. Its fear wrapped in shame and…betrayal; he follows it to…Andred? That’s odd he thinks, later…he needs to find out who was watching her yesterday and he continues retracing her memories until he reaches that moment. The moment Rose felt hate and malice directed at her so strongly she almost fainted from it. Jon freezes the playback and examines everything around him with a critical eye. He knows whoever wants to hurt her is there; she couldn’t have picked up on it if they weren’t. Jon spends what feels like hours processing every bit of information from the scene before him and he cannot see anything or anyone that he recognizes as malicious. Well…maybe he’s tired. It’s been a long stressful day and now that he knows he can do this he’ll try again tomorrow. He needs to get to sleep he thinks, pulling Rose as close to himself as he can and drifting off to the sound of their combined heartbeats.


	31. Chapter 31

“This is a joke yeah,” Rose asks, looking into the full-length mirror?

“What? No! Of course it’s not a joke Rose!” Jackie protests, “You’re to be married in 5 days love, trust me now is not the time for jokes.”

“Mum, you cannot be serious about this dress. I look like a fairy cake at a 5 year olds birthday party! I’ll not be wearing this to my wedding, you must have been high or somthin’ when you chose this,” Rose says laughing. She’s struggling to get this pink confectionary cake dress off of her body. It’s tiered…several tires…hot pink, sequins, tulle and…satin maybe? Whatever the dress is made of…it’s awful. Rose thinks she rather looks like an anorexic Barbie that’s attending a [Quinceañera.](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAUQjhw&url=https%253A%252F%252Fwww.pinterest.com%252Fmayamelo1%252Fquincea%2525C3%2525B1era-dresses%252F&ei=eYxIVZbfBou1oQTzmoG4Cw&bvm=bv.92291466,d.cGU&psig=AFQjCNHzmNI7YeW2Jp5NFfnWhn3BidZ0hw&ust=1430904312407520) “What’s my next option mum, because that…that is not happening,” she says, flinging the nightmare of fabric and sequins to the corner of the room.

“Well you said you didn’t want white Rose,” Jackie insists, feelings hurt by Rose’s reaction to what she considered a beautiful dress.

“How did not wanting white translate to…to…that in your head mum?” Rose laughs again, “Look, just what’s my next choice yeah; we don’t have time for this. Maybe just…Susan could you come here please?”

Rose had been admonished many, many times over the last 2 weeks by the council as well as her friends. Whether she likes it or not she is to be the Queen of Gallifrey and they feel it is past the point in time for her to behave as such.

“ _Rose! Stop that this instant, you cannot be seen watering flowers in the garden!_ ” Romana hissed, pulling her back into the palace.

“ _Rose! Queens do not groom the livestock,_ ” Toby squeaked when he caught her in the stables.

“ _Rose! You just had your nails done!!! Why the bloody hell are you scrubbing pots like a scullery maid!_ ” Amy this time, dragging her from the kitchen.

The list goes on and on of the things she’s no longer allowed to do. Ridiculous things she thinks. Why can she not do dishes in her own home? It’s her bloody home! Who gives a fuck if it’s a castle…that just means it’s a bigger home! Bigger home means more work to be done right? Ugh!!!!! And so…after 2 weeks of being chided, reprimanded, instructed, primped, polished and shined…here she is trying to pick the dress for her wedding.

“Yes, Rose?” Susan asks making her way from the closet of doom and hell and torture as Rose had affectionately termed it.

“Could you just bring the bloody things out 3 at a time and lay them on the bed please? If there are anymore of…of that kind just don’t even bother with them! And nothin’ that’s gonna make me look like a fairy cake or drugged out prom Barbie! You know what…” Rose says, moving toward the closet of doom and hell and torture, “I’ll just go in there and take a look myself. I know what I’m going to approve of and what I’m not.”

“Liiilllyyy,” Susan whines, “You’re to be…”

“Yeah, yeah…Queen and rules and roles and stations and blah, blah, blah!” Rose snaps, interrupting Susan, “I do not have all fucking day to try on this…shit! You have my bloody fucking schedule, you know I do not have time for this Susan, so…either help me or get the hell outta my way yeah?!”

“Let me try to explain this in a different way,” Romana says kindly, “Rose, if you are to go about tending livestock, doing the gardening, cleaning the…dishes and such…what do you need ser…erm…a household staff for?” Romana is still learning to play by Rose’s definitions of things; secretaries are now executive assistants. The servants are to be referred to as household staff and the list goes on. Romana understands where Rose is coming from and as such is trying to abide by her wishes but she needs to understand what she’s doing.

“That is exactly my point Romana,” Rose states tersely, “I do not need or want servants!”

“You may not want them Rose but you will surely need them,” Romana replies firmly. “Coming from the background you have I should think you of all people would be more understanding. The household staff, Susan, Toby, all of them; this is their job Rose. They are being paid to perform a service, same as you when you ran a bloody cash register! If you go about doing their jobs why bother paying them to do it?! How will they support their own families?!” Romana screeches, fleeing the room in a huff.

“I’m in my bloody room…picking out my fucking wedding dress! No Ta, I’ll be doing that bit myself thank you very much,” she yells at Romana’s retreating form, making her way into the closet of doom and hell and torture.

Oh Good Lord, she thinks as she enters the walk in closet and sees the number of dresses she has to work through. There must be at least 100 dresses stuffed in there! They are everywhere, every available surface is covered in tulle, taffeta, silk and organza and she shudders. Rose closes her eyes, spins in several circles until she begins to feel dizzy and points in a direction before opening her eyes again. “Mum, Susan, please come in here,” she hollers from the closet of doom, hell and torture.

Rose starts rapidly going through the dresses, ignoring the ones she can immediately eliminate and tossing anything she may be able to wear at her mum and Susan. It takes her less than 30 minutes to go through the dresses and at the end of that time she has decreased the number from hundreds to 10. 10 dresses to choose from…this she can handle. She leaves the closet, Susan and her mum hot on her heels.

“Right then, let’s get these puppies hung up and tried on yeah?” Rose says, much calmer than before, chipper even.

She tries on the 10 dresses and has Susan make a recording of each. Once that is done and she thinks she has picked her favorite she turns to Susan, “Please have the chef prepare a light breakfast and ask Amy, Clara and Donna to join us…if she’s not too busy that is,” she states hurriedly as Susan starts for the door.

“Rose,” Susan sighs out, “If you want Donna there, she will be there. You are her Queen and she is commanded and sworn to obey you.”

“Susan,” Rose sighs out dramatically, showing her irritation, “Donna is not staff, she is Jon’s sister, she is family and no matter what my station is, I’ll not be ordering her about. Besides that woman can be bloody terrifying, just ask nicely yeah? Why is that such a difficult concept for you people? Basic human kindness, basic human decency….manners! Eva heard of em’?” she snaps and Susan leaves the room, the door slamming shut behind her.

“Sire,” Romana says bowing to Jon, “I’m sorry to interrupt your meeting but I must speak with you at once.”

“What? What’s wrong?” Jon asks worried, hastily rising from his seat.

“It’s of a personal nature Sire,” Romana replies stoically.

“Uh…sure,” he replies looking about the room. It’s just Jack, Christian, Rory, Matt, Lee, Toby and himself. “It’s fine Romana, you can speak openly, what’s the issue?”

Romana does her best not to roll her eyes and release the breath of held frustration in her lungs. “So be it,” she states in a condescending tone, “You must speak with Rose about her behavior. She cannot go about acting like a…a…common person any longer!” she says her voice rising in pitch and volume, “Washing dishes, playing in the dirt like a child, cleaning horses and shoveling shit! Actual horse shit Jon! This childish rebellion of hers must stop! Whether she likes it or not she has agreed to become your Queen and she cannot sully that image. Now, I have tried to be respectful as have Susan and Amy and even that troll of a mother of hers has tried to explain this to her. You must make her understand that this behavior while endearing and cute now, is only going to make her look bad in the end game. She is only concerned about right now Jon; I must be concerned for the future. The people of Gallifrey will find her domesticity cute and acceptable for only so long. Eventually and by eventually I mean soon, they will expect, want and need her to act as their Queen in more than name alone!”

“This is all ridiculous Romana, why would anyone care if she does dishes or cleans out stalls? You’d think the people of Gallifrey would welcome a Queen who is not afraid of hard work or getting her hands dirty,” he replies, honestly not understanding the issue.

“ARRRGHHH!!” Romana screams loudly, hands balled into fists at her side and stamping her foot on the hard surface of the floor. “Jonathon Thomas Ardis! You have been away from Gallifrey much too long! We do not want our royalty to be common; we want them to be royal you daft prick! What is endearing her to the people now will only frustrate them and make them lose respect for her later. Yes, it is admirable that she wants to continue to work hard, yes her rags to riches story is charming and lovely, however; she needs to redirect those efforts. We have stable keepers, dishwashers, gardeners, pool cleaners…SHE WAS CLEANING THE FUCKING POOL JON!” Romana closes her eyes and takes in several deep breaths trying to calm herself.

Odd, Jon thinks as he watches her. She must have picked up that habit from Rose as well. “What would you have me do Romana? Shall I send her to Queen school?” he says sarcastically.

“No, you arse! God I cannot believe I was ever in love with you!” she replies, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and pointer finger trying to desperately stave off the headache that’s blooming in her brain.

Shocked and mildly amused at seeing Romana lose her shit over Rose doing some chores, Jon attempts to stifle the laugh rising in his throat as he says, “What do you want from me Romana?”

“What I want…what we all want Jon, is for you to start behaving as the fucking King you are to be in but a few days. What I want…” she says her voice rising once more in her anger, “is for your wife to start acting as such! WHAT I WANT IS FOR YOU TO QUIT BEING THE SELFISH PONCY BITCH YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AND GROW A SET OF BALLS! Are you so blind to what is happening around you? Can you not see how her actions are going to make her come off as…as…stupid to the people of Gallifrey? I am not saying that she should prance around here with the attitude of a royal bitch Jon; I am merely asking that she prance around with the attitude of royalty! Take the time she is devoting to these tasks that are now beneath her station and apply it to more meaningful, appropriate tasks. Have her read to the kids in hospital, travel about Gallifrey and meet people, kiss babies, shake hands, build a fucking foundation for messed up kids; anything that does not involve the people of this country watching their FUCKING QUEEN DO MANUAL GOD DAMMED LABOUR!” she screams, leaving the room and slamming the door behind her.

“Well, I guess I’ve been told,” Jon says sheepishly, turning to face his friends.

“Sire…err…Jon, may I state my much less emotional opinion,” Toby asks?

“You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want that Toby,” Jon smiles to him.

“Yes, well then…I believe what Romana was passionately trying to express is the concept that Rose needs to accept her station in her new life. The fact that she is a hard worker is beneficial only if she applies the hard work where it is necessary. Should the people of Gallifrey see her continuing to do manual labor they may see it as an inability to perform her duties as Queen. They may mistake what she sees as caring for herself as a lack of character or intelligence. I am not personally implying those things,” he says, noticing the scowl that comes over Jon’s face, “Your mother was one of the most beloved Queens we have ever had Jon. Can you remember a time that she was rushing about doing dishes or cleaning stalls?”

Jon takes his time and thinks about that, remembers his mother being active in many different charities and none of them involved dishes, cleaning stalls or pools or any of the other things Rose has been doing. “I’ll speak with her tonight,” he sighs, because he knows it’s not going to go well. Rose is stubborn…when she thinks she’s in the right (which to her credit is most of the time); she will dig her heels in and not budge.

“Besides,” Rory adds, “doing all that stuff is likely not good during her pregnancy. The first 3 months are crucial. If there is to be an issue of miscarriage it’s more likely to occur during the first trimester.

What Toby and Romana said to him was less than impressive, however; at the mention of a miscarriage Jon starts to actively listen. Stubborn she may be, but even Rose cannot argue with a doctor he thinks.

Donna, Martha, Romana, Susan, Amy, Clara, Jackie and Rose are together in the…media room? Rose thinks that’s the proper term. It’s a cinema…in her home… **a cinema in her home**. She’s trying to adjust to all of this but it’s a lot to take in really. 6 weeks ago she couldn’t afford to go to the cinema and now…well…she has one in her house…a house that isn’t really a house but a castle.

“Thank you all for coming,” she says standing in front of the group of women, “I uh…I have narrowed the dresses for the ceremony down to 10 and um…we’re going to watch the video on…on that really large movie screen back there and try to pick the one I’ll wear okay?” Rose says softly, nervously picking at the hem of her shirt with one hand and playing with her earring with the other.

“Oh for Christ’s sake child, stop the bloody fidgeting!” Romana hisses, grabbing Rose’s hands and placing them at her sides. She’s over this; Rose wishes to be treated as a real person in private company…so be it. Her Queen has made a demand and Romana is going to dutifully fulfill it. She reaches past Rose and starts the video.

The lights come back on, the screen goes dark and Rose takes in the faces of the women around her.

“Rose, you look so…wow…I mean any one of those make you look…wow,” Amy says, mildly dazed at the transformation of her friend.

“Thanks,” she replies blushing, catching the scowl on Romana’s face. Right…Queenly…okay. “Yes, they are all lovely but which did you prefer? I’ve made this simple as I do not have time to discuss each option,” Rose says in a very serious manner, “Now, if you will look at the table you have all been given score cards. Each dress is pictured and a range of numbers from 1-5 are under each picture. If you will please score each dress, 1 being awful and 5 being wonderful; afterwards we’ll tally up the scores and the dress with the most points wins.”

Each person goes through the process of scoring the dresses and Susan tallies up the points. “And the winner is…” Susan says pausing for dramatic effect, “Dress number 3, by a lot of points actually.”

“Vera Wang, lovely,” Rose says honestly. She’s excited about the dress. It was her pick as well but mostly she’s just relieved this part is over. Sighing again because she hates…really, really HATES giving orders to people, “Susan, please contact the seamstress and have her meet me in the bedroom at 1pm, thanks. Okay, what’s next on the list,” she asks, checking the time, 9 am and she sighs.

Rose has been up since 4 am going through dresses, menus, music, linens and flowers. The wedding is in 5 days! 5 DAYS!!! And there is still so much to do. She had told Jon having the wedding on Valentine’s Day seemed…cliché, like they were trying too hard. He insisted it was romantic, sweet and that the people of Gallifrey would thinks so as well, especially now with all the press and pictures of them.

The last 2 weeks had been a flurry of press conferences, public and television appearances; Rose was so, so fucking grateful that she had a stylist. She had no idea how much work actually went into making people look good on the telly. If the interview was at 8 am, she had to be in the studio and in the make-up chair at 4 am, which meant she had to be up at 3 am. All of these interviews focused mainly on their relationship with a few side treks into politics or questions of her past. So, after 2 weeks of telly, press and public appearances, the story of Prince Jon and his Rose had become the biggest story to hit Gallifrey since his parent’s death and Jon’s subsequent disappearance.

They were everywhere; every paper, every talk show and the romanticism had swept the people of Gallifrey away into a fairytale tsunami. Journalists asking opinions of people walking down the street regarding the return of their future King and his Rose were met with dopey smiles from women and more than a few salacious grins from men.

“I think it’s lovely,” one woman had said to the reporter, “The Prince had been so sad when he lost his parents and to see him so happy and in love, it’s a beautiful thing.”

“He’s lucky as far as I’m concerned, she’s super hot!” said one teenage boy.

“It’s beautiful, the way he looks at her,” said one young girl, “I hope one day someone looks at me like that,” and she’d blushed then, turning away from the camera.

The press as well as the public had a field day when one very observant member of the crowd had asked Rose if her ring had belonged to their late Queen, if it had been her wedding ring and then wanted to know how Jon proposed. She had flushed then at the memory of his proposal and didn’t quite know what to say. Rose decided to go with the truth, “He said; Rose, please marry me and I said yes. I know you want it to be more than that, it seems very plain and not royal or whatever, but it was…” she flushes bright red again and smiles, “the whole thing was quite romantic really.”

So now, after two weeks of nonstop press, pictures, public appearances, dance lessons, diction lessons, script rehearsals, menu planning, admonishments about her behavior and essentially having no fucking clue at any given moment what the hell is happening in her own life, Rose has finally picked her dress. That’s what she feels like she’s accomplished in 2 weeks – a dress – that’s it; not that it isn’t a lovely dress because it really, really is.

The dress is an off the shoulder, barely there blush pink, tight at her waist, ball gown style and the only embellishment is a small bow at the hip of the dress in the same barely pink color. It’s simple, elegant and very…Rose. She rather feels like Audrey Hepburn in it…classic, not showy, refined she thinks, holding the dress to her body in front of the mirror while she awaits the seamstress. She will have 2 more fittings before the wedding, which is ridiculous. The wedding is in 5 days, how much weight could one possibly lose or gain in 5 days?

Rose spends 2 hours with the seamstress, another hour picking out shoes, 2 hours going through veils and when Susan starts bringing in bouquet arrangements she almost loses it. “No more today please,” she whines, “I have been up since 4 am. I’m hungry and tired and really need a shower; do you have any idea how many times they did my make-up today? Somethin’ bout’ color palettes and getting the right shade for lighting…ugh please can we be done today Susan?” Rose whines again, putting on her best pout for her assistant.

Susan lets out a long suffering sigh and says, “Rose, you are going to be the Queen, if you want to be done for the day just say so. You certainly do not need my permission.”

She takes a long look at Susan and almost laughs because…well…she does actually need her permission. These last 2 weeks have taught Rose that when she’s told you’re the Queen do as you like, what they really mean is…you’re the Queen behave and do as I say. Instead of laughing Rose says, “I was not asking for your permission Susan, you have my schedule. I have no idea if we’re done for today or if I have another 5 hours of this shi…stuff. Swearing, another thing she’s been lectured about.

“ _You have a mouth worse than a drunken Irish sailor Rose! Christ! Jon let’s you kiss him with vulgar mouth?_ ” Romana had said.

“You can be done for today if you’d like,” Susan responds, “You even knocked a few things off the list for tomorrow.”

“Lovely, I’m starved. What’s for dinner? And what’s my schedule look like for tomorrow?” Rose says throwing on her fuzzy jim-jams and bunny slippers, heading to the door in search of food.

“Two press conferences, final approval for the cake and menu, bouquets, jewelry, last meeting with your stylist to give final approval for hair and make-up, mani-pedi with your mum and the girls, meeting with Donna for your bachelorette party and then a private dinner with Jon,” Susan says reading from her iPad.

When Rose enters the dining hall she is surprised to see everyone there. Everyone. Jon, her mum, all of her friends as well as the entire council and the bloody Prime Minister are all seated at the table waiting for her. Great, she’s fucked up again and now…now she’s in real trouble because everyone is here. She doesn’t even ask what’s going on, just slumps into the chair, head down, shoulder sagging and says, “What did I do now?” on a long sigh.

“We’ve made you a list Rose,” Amy says softly, “Alternative tasks to keep you occupied.” She puts her hand up to stop Rose from interrupting her. “Just look at the list before you freak out okay? Please. You just…listen honey; I know this is hard for you. Everything is changing so fast and you are desperately clinging to any remnant of your old life to try and have something normal yeah? So we spent the day coming up with what we hope are tasks that you will still enjoy but that will not make you seem…”

“Common? Low class? Below my position? Not good enough to be with Jon or the fucking Queen?” Rose snipes; wrenching the list from Amy’s outstretched hand, “Everything that I actually am?”

Jon is so not happy about this. He had told her she could still be her; he still wanted her to be her and now…well now he has to tell her she can’t. “Rose, please just…just look at the list before you get angry,” he says pleadingly. She’s already angry, he knows, can feel it slithering through his entire body.

Rose starts going over the list as dinner is served. The council and the Prime Minister then lectures her as to what acceptable behavior is for Royalty in Gallifrey and the reasons behind that and blah, blah, fucking BLAH! When all is said and done, when every person save for Jon has had a go at her and dinner is finally over, it’s been 3 hours. It’s now 930 pm and she is exhausted.

“Right, well…I will look over the list and get back to you tomorrow. It’s late, been a long day and tomorrow promises the same. I have to be up in just a few hours to head into the telly station for my first interview,” she says, standing to leave. As she reaches the archway to the hall she stops and turns to the room full of people. “I…I really am sorry to have caused all these issues. That was never my intention and…I’ll do whatever you tell me I need to do or be whomever you tell me to be from here on out. I know you all think I’m a stupid child and that I’ll never be able to pull this off and I’m…sorry,” she says softly turning from the room, silent tears making their way down her face as she tries to get to her room without falling apart in the hall.

“Are you all pleased now? Do you feel she’s been properly castigated? Have you broken her down enough to mould her into what you’d like her to be?” he grates out, standing from the table, “You just don’t get it do you? Or maybe you do and just don’t care? Gallifrey needs what I need, Rose to be Rose. You’re pushing her too hard, too fast. Give her time to adjust to her new role or at least acknowledge what she has done instead of focusing on what you still want from her. She’s never had to do anything like this, never had to live under this kind of scrutiny. She’s bloody terrified of fucking up and you people…all of you…rather than trying to help her, trying to give her time to adjust you…you just make her feel small, stupid and incompetent! How is that going to help?! Tell me how is breaking her going to help you get what you bloody want from her?!” he screams and his eyes flash gold before he stomps out of the room to find Rose.

She is where he knew she’d be…in the shower curled into a ball letting the water rush over her and crying. He doesn’t say anything and neither does she, she doesn’t even look up when he walks in. They have both been keeping the bond dimmed, too much stress on both of them to have it fully active. He doesn’t need it though, she’s wrecked he can tell easily enough. “ ** _Stupid, Stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN_** _!_ ” even with the bond dimmed it’s been ringing in his head all damn day.

Jon reaches into the tub and turns the taps on while he strips down silently. Once the tub is full he turns off the shower and pulls Rose into his arms, carrying her to the tub and getting in. He places her back against his chest and wraps his arms around her waist placing both palms over their child and his face into her neck. She still has said nothing and the tears have not stopped. “Do you want to go home Love?” he whispers in her ear.

“Yes,” she says quietly, “But I can’t can I?”

“Of course we can Rose. We could leave now if you really wanted too. I’ve told you before; this isn’t just about me anymore. If you don’t want to do this…if you want me to abdicate I will. I don’t care about being King Rose; I care about you and us. If this has become too much, if they want you to change more than you’re willing, we can go home. Back to Cardiff and continue on with all the plans we had before all of this started. We could get a house with a yard and fences, dogs and a…mini-van or whatever families drive. Rose look at me,” he asks and she turns so he can see her face. “I’ll never ask for more than you are willing to give. If this is more than you want to give me that’s okay. You have already given me so much more than I deserve. If you want to go home, we’ll go home and I’ll not bring this up again,” he says quietly, kissing her small and sweet and perfect, wiping her tears away with his thumbs.

“You don’t think I can do this,” she says small and hurt.

“I absolutely think you can do this Rose and you know that I do. You know I’m not lying or placating you,” he says opening the bond, “I think you can do anything you want to do, anything you set your heart and mind too. I think you just need time to adjust. Time no one is willing to let you have and if…if you want to go we can go. If you want to stay than I will make sure you are given the time you need to be okay. But honestly that list…I really do think you’ll enjoy the ideas we came up with and they will please everyone. It’s not that I mind you doing dishes or pulling weeds because I don’t, but you are so stubborn sometimes and I think that you’re doing these things more to prove they can’t tell you not to than because you want to do them.”

Rose closes here eyes (deep breath in, deep breath out), “Yeah, you’re likely right. I’m being too stubborn, I know I am. I’m just…I’m scared Jon and that leaves me clinging to what I know, trying to…I don’t know…feel something solid, familiar under me yeah? I’ll do better tomorrow,” she sighs letting the last of her tears fall, “I’ll go over the list in the morning while in the damn make-up chair and make some decisions and I’ll not do anything…common. Come on, let’s get to bed,” she sighs again and leaves the tub. Rose doesn’t bother with jim-jams, doesn’t even bother grabbing a towel to dry off. Slowly she makes her way to their bed dripping wet and throws herself face first into her pillow, silently hoping just a bit that the feathery downy softness will suffocate her before her alarm goes off in 4 hours.

Jon knows she doesn’t mean it but still…it hurts that she even had that thought. That she’d be okay with leaving him, taking her and the baby away…even if she didn’t really mean it that way. He towels off and slides into bed next to her, pulling her as closely as he can and holds her while she cries herself to sleep…again. This has become a nightly occurrence in the last 5 days. Martha keeps assuring him it’s mostly caused by her hormones adjusting and fluctuating due to the baby but…for 5 straight nights now Rose’s last thought before crying herself out has been of…well some way to off herself. Even though he knows its stress and hormones and all this other shit and she doesn’t really mean it…he’s terrified all of the time. Jon has to keep the bond locked down so she doesn’t know, so she can’t feel how hurt and sad and angry he is that she thinks these things every night…if she knew it would only make it worse for her.

**February 10** ** th ** **, 2015**

The morning is a whirlwind of activity for Rose. First, Susan throws her clothes at her and shoves a coffee into her hand as she’s pushed out her bedroom door. Martha catches her just before they leave the castle doors to check her vitals and shove a muffin in her other hand…reminders of eating and keeping hydrated as Susan, Jackie and Amy bundle her into the car and head for the telly station. She spends several hours in hair and make-up going over the list of alterative tasks as she promised and reviews her choices with her mum, Amy and Susan. Several more lectures on proper etiquette and behavior from Susan, 15 phone calls and texts from Jon checking on her, 3 trips to the loo and she’s being sat in the chair for the last touch ups before the camera rolls and the interview begins.

This is all fluff…this interview. Who made your dress? What are your colors? Who designed the jewelry? What kind of cake and on and on and on. “Who’s going to give you away Miss Tyler? As we understand your father passed some time ago, I’m so sorry by the way. I’m sure he would have been very proud of you,” the reporter states kindly.

“Oh it’s…he’s been gone a while now so it’s…anyways uh…Jack is going to give me away. Jack Harkness he’s Jon’s best mate, he’ll be walking me down the aisle,” she responds trying not to sound as tired and terrified as she is. She hasn’t talked to Jack about this, hadn’t even thought of who would give her away until this exact moment. She’s sure he won’t take issue but still…just one more fucking thing her stupid fucking brain didn’t think of.

Another 30 minutes of questions and she’s off to the next press conference. Martha is waiting in the car to check her vitals and shove a peanut butter and banana sandwich down her throat with a glass of milk and a prenatal vitamin, while Susan fusses with her hair and her mum helps her change into the next outfit. She has the driver stop so she can sick up out the door, brushes her teeth, spits out the window and off they go. Susan and Jackie hustle her onto the 3 story stage and quickly go over some of her responses before they leave and the interviewer takes his place. Just before they start she feels it; the same hate and malice from the coffee shop that has been following her the last 2 weeks. She’s not even surprised by it anymore, it’s become like background noise mostly.

The next 10 minutes are spent on platitudes, welcomes, and thank yous and finally the questions begin. Many of them are the same as she answered earlier…easy and she’s grateful.

“What do you plan on doing as Queen?” the interviewer asks.

“Apparently not the dishes, tending to livestock or watering the flowers,” she responds grimacing and the mass of people laugh.

She had been instructed to address this issue specifically during the press conference. Romana’s worst fucking nightmare had come to pass; some photographer had sold photos of Rose…in dirty cutoff denim shorts and a old ratty tank top pulling weeds in the garden of the palace. Neither Rose nor Jon could understand why this was such a huge deal but apparently it was. “ _Where did you even get those fucking clothes Rose?!_ ” Romana had screamed through clenched teeth, throwing a copy of the paper at her feet. This event was of course days ago now and yesterday Rose had promised that she would behave properly from here on out; which did not change the fact that Romana wanted this addressed.

“I’ll not sit here and lie to you,” Rose stated, “Going from a life of obscurity to being such a public figure has been…challenging. I’m still learning all of the things expected of me and I ask and hope that you will be patient with me during that process. As for future plans; Jon and I are working with the attorneys regarding setting up a foundation for assault victims as well as a foundation to help troubled youth, kids who have nowhere to go, no one to help them. There are of course other issues that I am personally looking into; educational programs and what changes need to be addressed there. I’d like to get a few more specialized doctors into the city proper. If someone needs to see a specialist it seems silly to have to travel so far to do it and rather…unsafe really. Right now we have no cardiologist, no oncologist, no one who specializes in the treatment for diabetes or dementia. The mental health field is also severely lacking in updated training and their use of medication. Another issue that I’m looking into is elderly care. I would like to switch the focus from putting our loved ones into facilities so far away from their families and more onto at home care. Where I understand this is of course not an option for every family; I believe it is an option for more than have been informed of it. That’s um…that’s a few of the things that I have been looking into the last few weeks,” she says trying to be confident but appearing almost shy, definitely hesitant.  

“Miss Tyler, do you not find it ironic that a girl who has no education thinks she can not only change our educational system for the better but also poke her nose into the medical field? All these things you speak of you have no background in, no training or education, you never finished secondary school. Yet you believe we should put our trust…our children’s future into your into your uneducated, underbred, formally heroin addicted little hands that you seem perfectly happy to play in the dirt with?! Prince Jon found himself a bit of pretty skirt and now you fancy yourself a Queen? It will take more than a pretty smile and a romantic story to stand by his side as an equal you know. And where exactly is your Prince Charming Miss Tyler? Wasn’t he scheduled to appear here with you? Trouble in paradise so soon Love?” says a voice shrouded from view in the middle of the crowd, “Wouldn’t be surprised if there was, he’s a runner your Prince. Never able to commit to anything; especially Gallifrey. He ran from us and never looked back. His own home, his own people. I guess we just needed to be a bit younger and bit easier to capture his attention. We saw your video Miss Tyler; tell me…what was life like as a whore?”

It’s him, the man from the coffee shop. Rose can feel his hatred slithering along her skin, icy and prickling causing gooseflesh to rise. She wants to run and hide, knows this man wants to harm her, hates her and the panic begins to rise in her chest. Her pulse skyrockets, sweat forms on her brow and her limbs became shaky and weak with paralyzing fear. Everyone is staring at her, waiting for her to answer this man because they don’t know; no one else here knows what he’s really doing. She does though; Rose knows he’s trying to break her, trying to scare her and publicly humiliate her. Rose closes her eyes (Deep breath in, deep breath out); she takes just a few seconds to calm herself before opening them again and her sight lands directly on a man in the center of the crowd. This is him, the man who has been following her and trying to scare her since she first arrived.

Her security detail is already headed off the stage towards him and Rose says, “No, don’t,” stopping them before they leave the stage. “Clearly you have some issue with me Sir. If you’d like to come forward and speak to me as an adult rather than hiding behind the other people here while throwing out vague and insulting half truths I’d be more than willing to answer your questions,” she states firmly, no evidence externally of the fear that is coursing through her. Rose thinks about increasing the strength of the bond, letting Jon know what’s going on, but he really is busy and there are thousands of people here. This man…whoever he is won’t try to harm her physically…at least not in public; he wants her to break in front of everyone. She doesn’t open it, doesn’t let him know, she can handle this. It’s 4 days until the wedding and he has so much to do still for the crowning ceremony as well as the wedding, so she decides to deal with this on her own.

A tall blonde man steps forward through the crowd and Rose recognizes him…vaguely. She takes in his features as he makes his way to the stage. He’s tall, not as tall as Jon but at least 6 ft., decently built, handsome she thinks; light brown eyes, dark blonde hair and a very charismatic smile wrapped in an impeccably tailored black suit. He steps closer to the stage and Rose can see him more clearly, she tries to remember where she has seen this man, racking her brain for where the recognition stems from. It’s not until he’s facing her directly and turned from the crowd that she sees it, the sneer on his face. The charismatic smile turning to sinister and lecherous and the penny drops. “Mr. Saxons,” Rose states raising her hand to shake his in greeting.

He’s shocked that she knows who he is, at least internally. Outwardly he shows no sign of the anger, irritation and shock that she knows he feels at being called out. “Miss Tyler, we’d not yet had the pleasure, how do you know me?” he asks his voice smooth and dripping with fake kindness.

“Oh, Jon has told me all about you,” she replies stiffly, “But reminiscing can be saved for later, I believe you had some issues you wanted me to address Sir.”

“Alright then blondie, here I am. Up front and center as my future Queen requested,” he sneers back at her.

“Lovely, thank you. So questions yeah? Let’s see…” she says tapping her fingers on her thigh trying to remember everything he had asked, “I do in fact find this whole situation ironic Mr. Saxons. However my lack of education as well as my background has been addressed many times in previous press conferences, which you are free to view at your leisure. But for the record, I am not poking my nose in either the medical or the educational systems of Gallifrey. I have several very well educated and specialized persons looking into such things; which again I have spoken of at length in other settings that are again free for you to peruse at your leisure. If anyone here, other than you of course is still looking for those answers my assistant Susan would be more than happy to provide where to find that information,” Rose says kindly.

“Too scared to answer without your script Miss Tyler? That of course is assuming you can read,” he snipes.

Oh Rose wants to slap him but good, slap that smug smile right off his damned face and choke him with his own fucking tongue. “Actually I don’t use scripts Mr. Saxons,” Rose says still overly sweet, “Now, back to the topic at hand. You want to know why the people of Gallifrey should trust me?” she asks.

“Yes, please enlighten us as to why our country should entrust anything to a former whore with a heroin addiction, and these are just the things that came to light mind. What don’t we know about you Miss Tyler,” he asks cruelly?

“First of all I was never a whore,” Rose states flatly, “Whores get paid and most have a choice. I was afforded neither. I was in fact a heroin addict, though depends on how you want to view the information. If someone is drugged against their will, repeatedly beaten and raped and made to feel as if they were nothing, lived in constant fear for their lives every day for years on end, never had a choice in whether to do drugs or not are they an addict or a victim?” she asks calmly.

“Is that how you justify it Miss Tyler, by telling yourself you’re a victim? And we should let you run amuck politically because we feel sorry for you?” he snips at her.

“I’m not now nor have I ever attempted to justify anything from my past. It is what it is. There’s no hiding it or denying it and no I’m not a victim. I’m also not a martyr for the masses, or a survivor or any other clever adjective you’d like to throw out there. What I am Mr. Saxons is a woman forged in fire, like tempered steel. We all have a past Sir,” Rose states coldly, “You want me to be ashamed of mine…well too bad. I have nothing to be ashamed of; I have nothing to hide in my past. Now as to why Gallifrey should trust me…” she turns away from him to address the crowd in front of her, “You shouldn’t,” she says flatly, shrugging her shoulders.

He’s stunned, caught off guard by her candor and flailing for a response. She feels his anger spiking at his inability to shake her in front of the crowd and she turns to smile at him, “I’m not sure how you handle things in your life Mr. Saxons but I believe that trust is something earned as is respect. Expecting any person to blindly trust me just because Jon does would be…well…a bit ridiculous really. I may be uneducated but I am not naive sir. The people of Gallifrey should absolutely do their research; never only believe what you see in the papers or on the telly. All of that is biased, to say it’s not would be a lie. I mean you did your research after all, did you not Sir,” she asks with a knowing smile?

“I’m not sure I know what you mean Miss Tyler,” he grates back at her.

Oh he’s properly pissed now, the vein in his neck bulging and the blood rushing through his features causing his skin to redden, he almost looks like an angry tomato and the image makes Rose giggle just a little.

“Are you laughing at me Madame?!” he grates through clenched teeth, “You find my concern for Gallifrey amusing do you?

“Nah,” she says waving him off, “I find your concern for Gallifrey a smokescreen for your hatred of Jon,” she replies, still smiling and trying to not laugh. He is going to lose his shit. Rose is going to push him until he does, until everyone here sees this man for what he really is…a liar and a traitor.

“What!” he exclaims, “I have known Jon since we were children, we grew up together, you have no clue what you’re talking about Miss Tyler!”

“And you’re sure Mr. Saxons that you want to do this here, publicly? Because I gotta be honest, you’re not going to come away looking so good,” Rose states jovially.

This stupid bint whore has nothing on him. He knows she’s bluffing, no way she can know anything at all. He’d covered his tracks. He’d sent the tape from London, no way to trace it back to him; he’s enlisted Andred to do most of the dirty work and knows he’s said nothing. That mongrel is much too scared to have the information of what he did given to the council, no she has nothing he thinks as he smirks to her and responds snidely, “Why wouldn’t I? My past is just as open as you claim yours to be.”

Got him, she knows now, Andred…blackmail…videos…Davros…all him. Rose cannot read minds, of course she can’t. She’s not stupid though. Between what she’s been reading off Andred, what she’s reading from Saxons and Jon’s memories the pieces come together pretty easily.

“Did you think that Jon would sit idly by while someone stalked his fiancé? Did you truly believe he wouldn’t have the tape you sent thoroughly examined or the CCTV footage reviewed of where it was mailed? You see Mr. Saxons, I may be uneducated and some may even think I’m stupid…Jon though…he’s a right proper genius. 167 IQ and blah, blah, blah…as he so often likes to say. Now would you like to explain to the public why you felt it necessary to not only send that video in but to edit and change the video from the original? Which I have by the way…the original…date and time stamped and authenticated from the courts in London. Did you think I wouldn’t request that after you had the other tampered with? Maybe we should speak publicly regarding your blackmailing tendencies or your affiliation with the men who kidnapped your future King? Maybe the public would like to know your family lineage Mr. Saxons? Friends indeed – with friends like you Jon needs no enemies. Maybe….”

“You’re gonna look so dapper Jon,” Jackie says, as the tailor finishes his final fitting.

“Yeah, it’s a bit nice isn’t it,” he replies grinning at himself in the mirror, “Think Rose’ll like it?”

“Jon you could wear a paper sack and she’d like it,” Rory states.

“Probably prefer it as it’s less to take off,” Amy laughs.

Jon blushes, still unaccustomed to that level of teasing. He’s just about to reply when his phone buzzes on the table and he reaches for it, Jackie smacking him, “Stay still you royal prat, she’s trying to finish. Rory Love, grab the phone please,” Jackie asks.

Rory checks the phone and walks to the telly turning it on channel 4 news. “It’s from Susan, just says channel 4 now,” he says walking away from the telly.

“What, that’s where Rose is and…” Jon’s words trail off as Rose comes into the picture, “What? What’s happening? Who is…” his words fall off again as he runs from the room leaving everyone stunned and with no information.

Toby immediately calls Susan’s cell and after 5 rings she finally picks up, “Susan, what’s going on? Who is that on stage with Rose? Jon just ran out of here like his pants were set ablaze?” Toby asks worried.

“Just get here now, bring Romana and whatever you do stop Andred from leaving,” she replies before hanging up. Rose never mentioned Andred specifically during her…rant, she did however text Susan one thing, just his name and nothing else. She doesn’t know why or what that means but obviously whatever is happening here has to do with him. This Saxons bloke is starting to worry Susan; he’s losing control of his temper more and more as Rose speaks, he’s going to go batshit crazy she thinks.

No! Harry screams at himself. NO!NO!NO!! He had spent years trying to break Jon. Years planning and plotting and every time…every fucking time that worthless piece of shit excuse for a man had slipped away! Jon had taken everything from him! – His father – his crown – his whole fucking life! He was the rightful heir to the throne; he was the one who had stayed in Gallifrey after their dad died while Jon ran off and buried himself in drugs and booze. Harry had begged him to stay, pled with him, told him he loved him, needed him, had made love to him and still he fucking left! Ran away like the little bitch he truly is and why! WHY can no one else see the truth about him! Harry had given himself to Jon and his reaction had been to accuse him of rape! It takes seconds for the memories to rush through Harry of the last time he had spoken to Jon, the night his dad died.

Harry begging him not to leave, “ _You can’t leave Jon! I need you here or…or let me come with you, you’re all I have left you can’t leave me! I love you, I’m in love with you can’t you see that, I need you, you can’t just leave me!_ ”

“ _No, what? That’s sick Harry! You…we…you’re like my brother!_ ” Jon replied confused. Harry sucker punching him, jabbing the needle into his vein, “ _Harry! Wake up Harry, what did you do?! Wake the hell up Harry!_ ”

“ _You can’t leave me now Jon, we’re together now, you can’t leave me,_ ” Harry had begged him as Jon scrambled for his clothing and Jon’s reaction –

“ _Together?! This is rape Harry not love, what the hell is wrong with you!? How could you do this, how could you think this would make me stay? You fucking raped me Harry! Your own brother…you’re sick you know that. Dad knew too…knew you weren’t right, that’s why he sent you to that school! You’ve always been wrong! I’m leaving – Never – NEVER come looking for me – NEVER speak to me again Harry or so help me I’ll turn you in you sick twisted fuck,_ ” he’d turned away from Harry then and never looked back.

Now this worthless whore was going to take it all away again – EVERYTHING from him again. NO! He has no idea how she knew everything but he will not allow this to happen again, he tells himself as he moves closer to Rose.

“You FUCKING WHORE! LIAR!” Saxons screams, spit flying from his mouth and landing on her face. “How dare you stand here and impugn my reputation with your vile slanderous mouth,” he yells his face contorted in rage.

Rose is pretty sure she’s going to wee herself on this stage…on camera and in front of thousands of people. Maybe she hadn’t given this plan enough thought after all. She was fairly certain he would not attack her in such a public setting, but now…well that’s exactly what’s going to happen she thinks. He’s standing right on top of her, spit flying in her face and the pure rage he’s exhibiting is almost crippling her. She loses control over the bond when he reaches up and grabs her forearms and begins frantically shaking her while screaming obscenities in her face.

She tries to fight back, tries to knee him in the groin, tries to scratch at his arms and it’s only a moment later she feels him being pulled from her. Rose has a burst of relief before the real fear sets in. She’s falling and the only thought she has before she hits the ground is the baby as she tries covering her stomach with her arms for any small measure of protection.

He knew the moment she opened the bond fully things had gone too far. Her fear pushed through the bond with an almost crippling force as he ran from the castle to the city proper. His legs buckled under him, breath leaving him and bile spewing from his mouth as her absolute knowledge that this man is going to kill her sweeps through his mental processes. The remaining length of the run was spent choking on and swallowing his own vomit as he tried to push past the resounding urge to lie down and just fucking die. Harry…he’s going to take them away – Rose, their baby – his life – everything. Jon arrives sick and winded just as Harold Saxons shoves Rose from the flat of the 3 story stage.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech in Italics is remembered conversation.  
> Speech in Bold Italics is telepathic communication.  
> I own nothing that is recognizable, all characters belong to the BBC.  
> As always comments are much appreciated, thanks and I hope you enjoy the update.

There is a moment in every broken person’s life or maybe every person’s life (She’s unsure, she’s always been broken) where clarity sets in. It may be a fleeting moment but it’s there. The moment when you realize you don’t have to continue living the way you are. When you know even if only for a second that something…anything is better than the life you’re living now. For Lucy Saxons that moment came at Rose and Jon’s first press conference.

“ _When you dig into my past, when you crawl through every moment of my life; because you will and you should, I hope you see someone who worked hard and never gave up. I hope you see someone who took a stand, who said no and found the strength and courage to finally do the right thing._ ” As she watched Rose through blackened swollen eyes, blood still dripping from her mouth and Harry raging in front of her; Lucy Saxons had her moment of clarity.

Lucy Cole had grown up part of the Gallifreyan aristocracy. She had attended school with Jon, one year his junior. They were never in the same social circles, never really had anything to do with each other more than polite greetings at functions they had been forced to attend by their parents. She was a shy, timid girl who had easily accepted her role as beautiful but not too bright. Her parents never pushed her to become more than that. She had been trained to believe that one day her Price Charming would come for her and things such as education would be unnecessary. Her mother had told her once when she was only 12 that women of her station in life didn’t need to be smart, they needed to be demure and obedient; that’s what being a woman in the aristocracy meant. While other children her age were learning who they would become one day, Lucy was refining who she already was and would always be.

Etiquette classes, diction lessons, dancing lessons, cello and piano classes, ballet and gymnastics; her parents had enrolled Lucy into any and every activity that would make her more…desirable to a man of nobility…would make her more lucrative to her father. Though her family was part of the upper echelon of Gallifreyan society it was a poorly kept secret that they were all but penniless. Her father had squandered away the family fortune on booze, drugs, women and poor investment decisions. They were living off her mother’s inheritance and the Cole family estate attorney had them on an allowance. Lucy had always seen the aftermath of her father’s rage, bruises her mother tried to hide with make-up, broken furniture and holes in the walls of their home. She was 13 the first time she saw it for herself, her father’s inability to contain his vicious temper.

She was hiding behind the sofa in the living room; her father screaming at her mother about money and then it happened. Lucy watched as her father wrapped his hands around her mother’s throat and applied pressure. She watched as her mother said nothing, did nothing to defend herself. There was no begging, no crying, no fighting back…she just…took it. Lucy watched with wide horrified eyes as her father brutally beat her mother in their living room beneath a family portrait that showed nothing of what real life was in the Cole house. The incongruity of that image, the picturesque perfect family frozen in time and mounted on the wall above the reality of their lives where her mother was being beaten in front of her would be the source of her nightmares for years to follow.

It was one day after Lucy’s 18th birthday when her mother had vanished. Everyone assumed the woman had finally had enough of her drunken, drugged, philandering husband and fled now that her daughter was of age, but Lucy knew better. She knew she would never see her mother again, no one would ever see her again. The next ten years were spent caring for her father and trying to maintain the image of an upper class family. Then her father introduced her to Harry. He was pleasant enough, handsome and seemed incredibly intelligent to Lucy. She remembered him from when they were children, knew he was some kind of relation to royalty but was unclear of the exact connection. It would only be a few short weeks until she found out what that connection was. Her father had essentially sold Lucy to Harry and they were to be married.

The service was small, done quietly and quickly in Harry’s living room. Lucy spent the next several years listening to her husband rage about Prince Jon and how Harry was the proper heir to the throne. She listened as he plotted and schemed to destroy Jon and she took the punishment when those plans failed every time. Jon and Rose’s first press conference would be simultaneously one of the worst and best nights of her existence. Harry raged in the living room, throwing and breaking anything within his reach until Lucy herself was the only thing left to break.

Once he had worn himself out, worked out his fury on her and left her bloody and silently crying on the living room floor he had swaggered off to bed zipping his jeans, “ _Clean this shit up before you make breakfast,_ ” and just like every other time, Lucy did as she was told. It was while she was sweeping the glass from the floor that Rose began to speak, that Lucy had her moment of clarity. She knew Rose’s story or most of it at least. Harry had been discussing Rose and Jon for several days now over the phone to someone, discussing in great detail her past and what Jon’s weak spots may be now that he was back in Gallifrey. Ways that Harry could break him, show the public the kind of man their Prince really was…an irresponsible coward who would only run again, would never commit to Gallifrey, could never be the kind of man a King should be. She listened as he raged of how weak and simple Jon was, no appetite for power or influence and that’s what a King is…power and influence.

Now though, she listened to Rose. She listened as Rose made no excuses for her past, took responsibility in her part and made very clear that she was different, had made herself different and that anyone in that situation could so the same. She could have a different life. Lucy didn’t know how to do that though. She had time; she could figure it out maybe, how to get away, how to make herself a different person like Rose did. Maybe…maybe she could contact her and maybe Rose would help her? She didn’t know how she was going to change her life; Lucy just knew it had to happen before she had no life to change.

That is how she came to be at this press conference with her husband. Lucy had asked to go with him and he had refused, “ _No, you’ll only be in the way, fuck up everything. I cannot have that today! This ends now, he has everything, took everything from me and I’m going to reclaim it. I’m done with petty games…This ends today,_ ” he’d snarled as he walked out of the front door. She agreed; this ends today…everything. One way or another Lucy Saxons was done being treated as less than human, done being the whipping girl for her husband’s amusement, done allowing life to pull and push her in whatever messed up direction it chose. Yes, Lucy agreed that everything would end today…one way or another.

She found herself trying to hide in the crowd, watching as Harry verbally attacked Rose. Filthy names and baseless accusations hurled at her and Lucy watched as Rose matched him step for step. The more Rose said to Harry the angrier he became and Lucy knew the signs, had been living with them for years…he was going to snap. Lucy rushed to the front of the crowd, she was going to try and warn Rose, no clue how she was going to do that but someone needed to let her know what was about to happen. It was too late though, by the time she reached the front Harry was already shaking Rose violently, moving her closer to the edge of the 3 story stage and she knew. Harry was going to kill this girl, in front of everyone and on telly and Lucy would be free finally. Harry would go to jail for murder and she would be free. Could she do that? Could she allow Harry to kill this woman so she could be rid of him? Is that who she had become?

In the seconds that passed next, Lucy would make a decision that she knew would change her life forever. She would either walk away a new woman or she would not walk away at all. For her it all happened in slow motion, seconds ticking by like days. Harry shaking Rose so violently that the crowd could hear her teeth slamming together through the mic she wore, security rushing in and trying to pull Harry from Rose and succeeding only momentarily. He twisted and squirmed from the guards grasp and using both hands, shoved Rose backwards with as much force as he could.

“Rose, No! Harry STOP!” she heard Jon’s scream and dashed forward. It felt as if time had slowed to a crawl. Lucy stood at the bottom of the stage, saw Rose cover her stomach with both hands and curl herself into a ball as gravity pulled her closer to the ground and she did the only thing she could at that point; she tried to gauge where Rose would land, stood there and waited for the impact.

Her mouth is dry, lips chapped and she tries licking them to give them some moisture; eyes trying to flutter open but unable to do so just yet. Brightness assaults her as one eye barley cracks open and immediately slams shut again, pain forming in her head and the rest of her body as one by one her senses start to come back to her. Harold Saxons, the argument, the stage…falling. Oh God! The baby! Her hands try moving to her stomach but something is preventing her from moving at all! The baby! Jon! and her eyes open. Disinfectant and bleach assault her sense of smell. Hospital…she’s in hospital and her eyes close again. She feels his hand slip into hers, his forehead pressing against her own, “Rose,” whisper soft against her face before she lapses back into sleep.

“What? What do you mean he’s gone?! Find him now. I want Mrs. Saxons moved to the palace, she is to be guarded at all times,” she hears as she starts to wake once more. Jon…he’s angry and the bond is fully open. She can feel him in her head, his anger pulsing and flaring against her skull and she tries to talk, tries to calm him but no sound comes out. “Rose? Rose Love, come on open your eyes, look at me Rose, please,” she hears him pleading, tries again to speak and cannot form any words before she slips away again into darkness.

“You should have told her, warned her Jon! You knew he was a threat to you and you’re smart enough to know he would come after her! You did this, this is on you! Protect her indeed! Just look at what you’ve done!” Her mum this time, more scared than angry, she can feel it.

“Jon?” she says whisper soft, tries to get more volume and just can’t. “The baby?” she slurs and feels his forehead again press to hers.

“Fine, the baby is fine Rose,” he whispers, “You’re a little banged up but okay. You hit your head when you fell. How are you feeling?” he asks quietly, she feels his tears on her face and tries again to open her eyes to no avail.

“Sore,” she replies, “and I can’t move, why can’t I move?”

She’s starting to panic, and it slithers across their bond icy and painful. “No Rose, it’s okay. You were…after you were brought in you had…a seizure from hitting your head. You’re okay though, just a little swelling. The doctors they…they had to restrain you in case you had another. Your mum’s gone to get them now, just…just hold on and quit trying to move okay,” he whispers, warm breath ghosting across her face and she’s asleep again.

This time when consciousness comes back she can move, hands instinctively covering her stomach where their baby resides. Rose eases her eyes open, the lights have been dimmed and she can make out the silhouettes of several people along the wall. Jon, her mum, Amy and Donna are huddled together speaking quietly to who she assumes is a doctor. It only takes a second for Jon to know she’s conscious again and he’s at her side, her hand in his and forehead pressed to hers. “Welcome back again,” he says quietly but with a small smile.

“How long have I been out?” she asks.

“About 13 hours off and on,” he replies.

“But…but the baby? Everything’s alright?” she asks, small hint of panic in her voice.

“Yea Love, everything’s fine,” Jon reassures her.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “What uh…what’s happened? How…I should have some injury from the fall shouldn’t I?” she says, still quiet. Rose searches along the bond for any sign that he’s hiding something. She cannot be okay, something must have happened. She remembers being thrown from the stage, remembers covering the baby, trying for any amount of protection. Why is she not hurt? No sign of lying in the bond but he’s withholding something. She struggles to sit up. Her muscles are weak and sore and she uses Jon to pull herself into a sitting position. “Right then,” she says closing her eyes, “If I’m okay what are you not telling me? I mean you’re ALL not telling me something…I can feel it…all of you,” she says exasperated. Why don’t they just say whatever it is? She’s tired, it’s been an awful day and she has no interest in playing the ‘guess the bad thing that’s happened now’ game.

“There was a woman in the crowd Rose, she…she caught you when you fell,” Jon says hesitantly.

“Caught me? From 3 stories up she caught…Oh,” she says as the penny drops, “You mean I fell on her…I fell on someone? Is she okay? Oh God! Is she injured? Is she…Did I…”

“No, no Rose, she’s alive,” Amy says from the wall hurriedly.

Alive, that’s what Amy said…so she’s injured Rose thinks.

“How um…how badly did I hurt her?” she asks, unsure she wants to know the extent of damage she’s caused.

“Miss Tyler,” says the doctor, “Mrs. Saxons likely saved your life but in doing so she sustained several injuries. The worst of which is the swelling to her brain caused from hitting the concrete. The back of her head hit the ground and your head hit hers, causing swelling to occur in both of your skulls. She is still unconscious but we are monitoring closely. We won’t know the extent of the damage until the swelling starts to subside. Mrs. Saxons also suffered a broken arm and a fractured ankle.”

“Mrs. Saxons? Harold Saxons wife? She caught me, saved me? Did anyone stop him? Has he been caught?” Rose stammers out.

“No, he slipped away during the panic after the fall. We’ll find him though Rose, I promise we’ll find him,” Jon states with finality.

“Can I have a minute with Jon please?” she says softly, awash in shame and guilt that another person suffered because she was stupid enough to think she could take Saxons on by herself.

“It’s not as if you could have known Rose,” Jon says once they are alone, “How could you have? This is not on you Love. This is Harry…all of it and I’ll not let you treat yourself as if you did something wrong. Yes you were stubborn, but that’s just who you are Rose; you had no reason to believe he would attack you physically in front of everyone and you played no part whatsoever in Lucy Saxons decision either,” he says firmly.

“Decision?” she asks.

“Rose you didn’t fall on her, she moved to catch you. She saw what Harry was going to do and moved to catch you,” Jon says softly. He knows this is going to tear her up inside, she’s going to blame herself, twist the information so that she comes out the bad guy here and he will not allow that.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) She closes her eyes and replays the incident. Oh…Andred…does Jon know? She remembers everything in startling clarity all at once and it rushes along the bond to Jon.

“I know Rose,” he says trying to remain calm, “Andred, Davros, River, Harry all of it…I know.”

“How? How’d you find out?” she asks.

“When you,” (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “When I reached you after the fall, you were still semi-conscious. When I put my forehead to yours…you showed me everything…so I know. Andred is in an interrogation room, he’s not been questioned yet. I wanted to be here with you, make sure you were okay first,” he says, and she can feel his temper rising, feel the fury starting to course through his veins and the possessiveness flare in his chest when he thinks about what he almost lost.

“It’s okay Jon,” she says entwining their fingers, “We’re okay, we’re still here. When can I go home?” she asks, trying to change the topic, trying to calm him just a little.

“Tonight, now as a matter of fact,” states Martha as she enters the room, “I’ve had the hospital send over and set up any and all necessary equipment to monitor you as well as Mrs. Saxons from the palace.”

“Just like that? They’re just are going to let you take me home?” Rose asks looking at Jon.

“Well yeah, pretty much anyways. Sometimes it is good to be the King…err…well in your case the Queen,” he responds with a smile.

Too much she thinks. This is all just…too much. The wedding is in 3 days, the crowning ceremony in 4 and the honeymoon in 5. Now she has a madman hell bent on revenge after her and his injured wife to deal with in addition to everything else. Is Lucy Saxons a plant? Did Harry plan it all this way? Was Lucy saving her merely another way for Harry to get at Jon? Was she helping Rose or Harry? What’s his next move going to be? Does he know she’s pregnant? Would he harm the baby if he did? Her mum and her friends…her family; are they safe? Should she send them away? Is he going to come after her family or just her and Jon? Question after question rushes through her and the intense panic races through the still fully open bond to Jon, almost making his knees buckle under the onslaught.

“Rose,” he croaks out under the weight of the panic, reaching for her and folding himself around her as much as the bed will allow.

“Sorry,” she whimpers softly, “What’s going to happen now?” She needs to pull herself together, needs to be able to think rationally and logically. **Stupid, stupid, STUPID FUCKING ROSE BRAIN**! (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Do we send everyone back to Cardiff? Do we postpone the wedding? Do we need to leave? Does he know about the baby? You grew up with him, what’s he going to do next Jon? What about Lucy? Are you sure bringing her home is the best idea? What if he told her to do that? What if her catching me was part of his plans? How do we know she’s safe to have there? We can’t put anyone else in danger Jon, our friends…family…I won’t let him hurt them,” she rushes out.

“Absolutely not,” Romana states harshly.

She must have entered when Rose was ranting because she doesn’t remember Romana being there earlier; then again her heads still a bit fuzzy…maybe she was there the whole time. It doesn’t matter…she’s here now and very…indignant with Rose’s questions.

“You’ll not be postponing anything and no one is being sent away. Gallifreyan Royalty does not scarper away to lick their wounds and pout like an abused street urchin! The wedding takes place as planned as does everything else,” Romana says, stress and worry evident in her tone and posture.

Sadness so overwhelming it almost robs Rose of her voice rolls over her. Romana’s emotions…Andred, he’s a traitor. Rose leaves the bed and Jon’s arms, walks to Romana and pulls the much taller woman into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry Romana,” Rose says softly, “What’s going to happen to him?”

Romana tenses at first then allows the comfort for just a moment before she composes herself once more. She pulls fully away from Rose and says, “He’s not been questioned yet, and we don’t have all of the information so I can’t say what will happen with Andred. At the very least he will be dismissed from the council and the worst case scenario of course….” She trails off, unwilling or unable to finish the thought.

“Well that’s not going to happen,” Rose says, but it sounds more a question than a statement and she looks to Jon.

“I think this would all be best worked out at home Love,” Jon says exhausted, “It’s late, I’m angry…tired. Right now is probably not the best time for me to be deciding a man’s fate yeah? Let’s just go home, go to bed, we’ll start work on all this stuff tomorrow.”

Rose can feel it, the exhaustion pulling him under and she acquiesces. None of them are in a proper mindset to be working anything out right now and she knows that. An hour later finds Rose and Jon in their bed; every part of him that can be is wrapped around her, his hands placed firmly on her stomach over their child. The way his body is contorted and holding to her makes is impossible for her to even think about moving, it’s incredibly uncomfortable but she says nothing, lets him have this. Rose knows today was…well it was awful…for everyone. Eventually he slips into a fitful sleep and she can move just enough to try and get a little more comfortable before oblivion takes her over as well.

Harold Saxons sits in his underground bunker silently steeping in his rage. His own fucking wife betrayed him! She doesn’t even know Jon…or this Rose bitch! Why would she do that to him?! Doesn’t she know what Jon’s done to him? How could Lucy do that? Just defy him outright? Then as if being there against his direct command wasn’t rebellion enough…she saved that fucking whore! Fine…that’s fine he thinks to himself. If she’s even still alive he’ll deal with her later; right now he has bigger issues. Andred’s been arrested and there is no way that spineless, weak willed, nancy-boy will keep his trap shut now. It’s only a matter of hours before Jon knows everything from the last 15 years, only days until he’s crowned King…a crown that properly belongs to ME! he thinks; his fury spiking again. Why did he not abdicate? He doesn’t even want the fucking crown! That has been made evident by his lack of interest since the death of their…well technically Jon’s parents, but they raised him too! In fact Christopher had been his dad years before Jon was even born.

Christopher had found him as an infant, abandoned and dumped into a trash bin behind a string of restaurants in London. He had cared for him and raised him, taken him back to Gallifrey after they’d met Sarah Jane. He was 3 years old when Jon was born and it wasn’t until he was 11 and Jon was 8 that he’d discovered the truth. His mum and dad were not in fact **HIS** mum and dad. Harry had overheard the conversation between his parents trying to determine the best way to explain the situation to their two boys. Jon was going to be turning 8 tomorrow; Christopher and Sarah Jane would have to explain to him who he was, in doing so they would also have to explain who Harry was.

He knew then he would never be King, he wasn’t royalty, he was…a stray. An unwanted, abandoned burden that was only alive now because Christopher was kind, that’s what he was. These weren’t his parents and Jon wasn’t his brother. He was alone and tomorrow everyone else would know too…he was the unwanted, abandoned bastard child of worthless people who deemed him no better than trash.

It wasn’t the first time Harry had felt the rage building but it was the first time he gave into it. He had gone to Jon’s room and quietly sneaked in, standing over him as he slept in his bed just watching. It must have been an unconscious thought when it happened, still today…if he thinks about it there is no memory of actually grabbing the pillow and pushing it over Jon’s face. He held it over his brother’s face as Jon thrashed and tried to squirm away, his fury only heightened more as the truth of his existence rushed through him again.

Jon eventually stopped moving altogether and Harry removed the pillow. He could see Jon was still breathing and for a moment was horrified by what he’d almost done. Harry had run from the room back to the safety of his own quarters and cried himself to sleep. When the next day came, when his ‘family’ set out for the picnic in the garden, he knew it was time. Christopher and Sarah Jane would be telling both of the boys who they were and what would become of them. Jon would be told he was being handed a kingdom and Harry would be told it was something he could never have. Part of him was almost thankful that Jon was not his biological brother. Harry had started thinking of Jon in ways that were less than familial and it had freaked him out. Firstly because Jon was his brother, secondly because he was only 8 and thirdly…well…boys weren’t supposed to like other boys that way…especially other boys who were so much younger and related to them.

Christopher and Sara Jane had spoken to him many, many times regarding his temper. It was always simmering just below the surface and any small thing could set him off. Harry would rage, running through the palace breaking anything in his path. As he grew older the rage became more focused. Instead of blindly running and smashing he would target the most valuable items and then as he matured further it became less about the monetary value of the item and was focused on causing the most hurt to whoever had incited his rage.

It started little at first but escalated rapidly. The cook refusing to allow him sweets before dinner would later find her family heirlooms had gone missing. The maid that castigated him for deliberately dumping his grape juice on the floor she’d just mopped…the keepsakes of her dead husband would later be found burned to ashes in the center of her room. The 10 year old daughter of the stable keeper whom Harry had tried to kiss and was refused…she would go to bed that night to find her new puppy dead, still bleeding over her bedspread; its throat slit form one side to the other and a box of chocolates lying next to the pool of crimson. It was then that Sarah Jane told Christopher something had to be done. Something was fundamentally wrong with Harry and he was no longer safe to have around Jon and the other children that resided in the palace.

It was a month after the incident with the puppy that it had become obvious to everyone Harry needed professional help. He was in the foulest of moods, it was the night before his 12th birthday and Harry knew it didn’t matter what presents he received, it would never be what he truly wanted, what he truly deserved. He was not a Prince and he would never be the King. He would be relegated to staff or worse yet pitied by Jon once he took the crown. Harry was walking through the gardens when he saw her; Romana.

She was the daughter of a fairly influential family in Gallifrey and spent a great amount of time at the palace when her father needed to discuss business matters with Christopher. She was Jon’s age, only 8 years old…small and cute with her summer dress flaring about her legs and her brown curly pigtails swinging as she spun in circles on the grass of the palace. Harry watched her spin for a good amount of time, was just about to approach her when Jon showed up, making him furious. Was it not enough that he had taken everything from him already? This whining, sniveling brat of a child was now going to intrude upon his time with Romana?! Could he have not one thing to himself?! Harry waited and watched from behind the bales of hay as Jon and Romana played and ran and laughed. It was when Jon had decided to go in for drinks that things went…wrong.

Harry approached Romana with a smile and asked if she wanted to play in the garden until Jon returned with her drink. Romana was only 8, it’s not as if she could have known what Harry’s intentions were and she agreed readily. Seconds after reaching the garden he grabbed her, pushed her roughly to the ground and starting hitting; his hands tightening into fists and his rage exploding on her. He had no idea how long he’d been lost to the fury when Jon showed back up and pushed him from the girl; he was breathing heavy, seeing stars in his vision. He could hear Jon yelling, first for help and then at him. “ _What are you doing Harry? Why would you hit her? Dad’s gonna be so mad, you know we’re not supposed to hit… ever, but especially girls Harry. Her mum’s gonna be mad too. Look what you did to her dress,_ ” Jon said.

As his reality started reasserting itself, when the ground stopped shifting under his feet and his lungs began to take in oxygen again he looked at Romana. She was unconscious and bloody, her clothes torn from her small body and lying in tatters around her. Harry then looked at himself. His shirt covered in what could only be Romana’s blood; his trousers undone and pushed down to his ankles along with his pants. Jon’s incessant twittering ringing in his ears was driving him spare; he didn’t understand what had just happened.

“ _Why’s your clothes off Harry? Did they get dirty or something? Mum’s gonna be mad if they did, those are your good trousers,”_ Jon said as he hovered over Romana, _“She’s not waking up Harry. I’ma go get dad…unless do you think we could carry her in?_ ”

He had run then, afraid of what the consequences of his actions would be. He’d been told he had to behave, that he couldn’t continue his reprehensible behavior and he had tried, he really did. So Harry ran, leaving Jon behind to deal with the mess he’d created. The next day he was sent to a ‘special school’ and his life was forever irrevocably changed. Harry was smart, not as intelligent as Jon but he was clever. It didn’t take him long to adjust to his new settings. He quickly discerned if he was charming and sociable when the ‘staff’ was present they let him be and the other children quickly learned to do as he said and keep quiet about it. Harry rapidly discovered that power suited him. He enjoyed making people bend to his will, enjoyed handing out punishments to those who defied him. In 3 months time he had the staff fooled, the other kids under his control and he was actually enjoying himself.

It was only a short time after that Jon became his only social interaction. The other kids avoided him at all costs but not Jon. He would come 3 times weekly to visit Harry and never missed a day. Later Harry would decide that is when he had fallen in love with Jon. He had been abandoned again, thrown out like last night’s rubbish and the only person who still cared for him was Jon. Christopher and Sarah Jane had come to visit him in the early days but that had tapered off quickly due to his temper. He had told them to stop coming, they weren’t his family. They were liars and he hated them. Jon though, even after Harry had told him to leave, they weren’t family…he still came 3 times weekly.

Harry spent the next 6 years of his life in the institution perfecting the face he showed the world while allowing his hate to fester and grow privately. He hated them; all of them…save for Jon. Harry was also able to discover who he really was. Being left to his own devices most of the time allowed him to research his paternity. By the time he’d been in the institution for 2 years he knew who he was, where he came from and why he’d been tossed away like rubbish. He was the product of a rape. His mother had been a whore his father had decided not to pay…but still take what he wanted. That was how he came into existence. Once he was released upon turning 18 he never spoke to Christopher and Sarah Jane again, but Jon…no matter what awful things Harry said to him he was always there; 3 times weekly just as he had been for the last 6 years.

After the plane crash, after Jon was alone, Harry had thought they could finally be together. When Jon had rejected him, told him he was sick and wrong, that they were brothers and he was leaving Gallifrey without him…Harry snapped. He thought if he could just show Jon how good they could be for each other, if Jon would just understand that Harry needed him…so he plunged the needle into Jon’s neck. Past and present combined as Harry repeated the actions that had conceived him. He had given Jon liquid ecstasy, assuring that everything, every touch would be pleasurable for him. He had given himself to Jon and upon waking was yet again rejected. Sick and wrong and Jon was leaving and Harry was never to contact him again. That was when love turned into something deeper than hate. Something sick, sinister and cold ran through Harry as he watched Jon’s retreating form that night and he knew…knew what had to be done.

He would take the crown and everything else from Jon. The spoiled little wanker had everything handed to him, the perfect life, perfect family, prefect friends…PERFECT FUCKING EVERYTHING while he was left with nothing! It only took one phone call to set the events moving forward. Jon would be disposed of; no longer an issue to him and no longer an heir to the throne. Gallifrey would be his to do with as he pleased. Things had gone well, Jon and his stupid fucking friends taken and as far as Harry was concerned never to be seen or heard from again. The year that passed with no information regarding Jon’s where-abouts only solidified that knowledge within Harry. Soon, the council would be forced to make a decision. They could put the throne up to vote or they could allow Harry to step in. He had after all been ‘a kind of son’ of the now deceased King and Queen; no one knew that he’d been sent to the institution, Sarah Jane had seen to that. She had told him no one would know, that he was just a child and shouldn’t have to carry that with him the rest of his life.

Harry was sitting with the council, fully expecting to be named King of Gallifrey as they prepared to give their decision. Moments before they were to announce it, the news had come. Jon was alive. He had been kidnapped while traveling and had somehow escaped. His first call had been to the Council for help. Once again Harry had his life ripped away from him by Jon. From that point on it was one failed attempt to destroy Jon after another. He always…ALWAYS found a way out of whatever Harry had set up. Harry had been quite sure by the time Jon met Rose that he was going to abdicate. There was no way Jon could allow a former whore and heroin addict to be the Queen. He knew Rose wasn’t an actual whore, she wasn’t out walking the streets and picking up men for cash, but she was as useless as a whore.

Sitting in his bunker alone, betrayed and rejected yet again Harry’s temper exploded. The worthless whore had lived and nothing had changed! NOTHING! The news report stated that the wedding as well as the crowning ceremony would continue without interruption and there was a manhunt for him. The telly was reporting him as dangerous and told the people of Gallifrey not to approach or try to subdue him. They were told to call the police if they saw him and to get away. Dangerous indeed, he thought to himself slumping into the bed in the corner. He was exhausted finally; the destruction of his temporary hiding place had zapped whatever remaining energy he had left. It was time, he thought just before he fell asleep, time to deal with Jon once and for all. He would never be King now; that worthless slag had publicly decimated his reputation and he had lost control. Harry had shown the entirety of Gallifrey exactly who he really was and there was no coming back from that. He would get rid of Jon and move on, be done with this place forever, become someone new.

The next 2 days would find Rose, Jon and everyone else under lock and guard at all times. The council had even demanded a guard be present while they slept…in the fucking room while they slept. This of course made Jon livid and he avidly denied the idea that they would be harmed in their own rooms. It was Rose who had calmed him then as he went off on the council. “Jon, it’s only for a few days yeah? The wedding’s in 2 days, the crowning in 3 and then we’ll be off on our honeymoon…wherever that is,” she said, irritation lacing her tone because the council refused to tell even her and Jon where their new destination was.

Jon acquiesced, she was of course right. Harry was a threat, a big one and he knew that now. It hurt…to find out Harry had been behind everything…EVERYTHING. Every pot hole and ditch Jon had stumbled across over the years had been Harry messing with him. Once Jon had questioned Andred, once he had all of the missing pieces of the puzzle…it just hurt. Jon had wanted to be angry…and of course he was; Harry had tried to kill Rose…but he was still his brother and now that the dust had settled, now that he had all of the information…he was just…hurt. Jon had never told anyone that Harry had raped him. When Donna questioned him about that night, she had said Harry was running around telling any and all who would listen that they were together. Partly ashamed, mostly disgusted…he just wanted to forget that it had happened. So he told Donna a version of the truth, told her he had been high on drugs that Harry had supplied and had no idea what he was doing. Hazy memories would assault him of that night for years to come…flashes of skin and images of Harry looking up at Jon from between his legs.

What was left of Jon’s world disintegrated that night. He had attended the funeral ceremony for his and Donna’s parents. He had gone to Harry; begged and pleaded for him to attend with him. Harry had refused, he wasn’t Jon’s brother, they weren’t his family and there was no reason for him to pretend any longer. For the first time in his life, Jon began to see Harry for who he really was and it broke him just a bit more. Then Harry’s actions that night had turned sadness into rage and hate and Jon had left that world behind. Still…right now the only person who knows what Harry did that night is Rose. Now he would have to find Harry, he would be tried and most definitely found guilty of so many things. Treason, blackmail, attempted murder, kidnapping and so many other horrific things that he’d done have now come to light and it will be Jon that has the final decision as to what happens…to Harry and Andred both.

Jon crawls into bed next to Rose, folds himself around her protectively and whispers in her ear, “We’re to be married in the morning,” his excitement wholly tempered by the recent facts that have come to light.

Rose turns in his arms, breathes in his scent, opens the bond fully, asks the guard to step into the adjoining room and to close the door. He knows it’s not because of what the guard is thinking. Even if it is the night before their wedding Rose is in no mood for lovemaking. Neither is he if he’s being honest, but holding her, having her close and the feel of her skin against his…it helps. She strips off her clothing first, then his and tosses them aside before reclaiming her position in his arms. With the bond fully opened and no barriers between their skin the electricity that is always there runs rampant between them and still…he just holds her to him.

“You don’t have to assign execution Jon,” she says quietly into his chest.

“The things he’s done Rose…how can I not?” Jon responds softly.

“Tomorrow we will be married, the day after you will be crowned. You can then choose whatever punishment you find fitting for him, you do NOT have to abide by the laws in place now Jon. He’s….I know what he’s done…but I know you love him still…care for him still. I’m more concerned what it will do to you to if you are to assign him to execution.” (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “We’re having a baby. Rather than focus on what is expected of you as King…focus on that. Us, our family…” she trails off softly.

Jon doesn’t respond. He continues rubbing small circles into her skin until she finally falls asleep. She’s a wreck internally; excitement, anticipation, fear and nervousness…he feels it all coming through the bond. Upon closer inspection what he doesn’t feel is what surprises him. Rose feels no anger toward Harry. Sorrow for the life he’s led, pity for the way he feels he needs to behave, sadness at everything he’d lost since a child…but no anger. That’s likely for the best; he has enough anger for them both. The longer he thinks about it, Rose’s ability to forgive, how compassionate she is the angrier he becomes and he tamps down the bond. Harry was going to kill her, take her and their child from him and she feels sorry for him. That is the life Harry tried to take; a strong, intelligent, caring woman. One so full of love and compassion that she can forgive the man who tried to publicly shame and humiliate her, forgive the same man for releasing that horrific tape, forgive him for trying to kill her.

He knows Harry will never stop. The rage and hate and brokenness in him will never be quelled as it is within Jon. If he doesn’t sentence Harry to death, he will try again and again until eventually…just by the law of averages he’ll win. His arms convulse around her reflexively as that knowledge settles within him. It’s not just Rose he has to protect, it’s their child as well and he knows all too well that will mean nothing to Harry. No…this has to end. Harry must be caught, tried and Jon will hand down his sentencing, because that is what a King does. Harry is not only a threat to him and his family privately…he is now a threat to all of Gallifrey. That is what Jon agreed to…to be King…to be responsible for the lives of every person in Gallifrey.

“ _Jon, listen to me son. There will be times when you feel as if no decision is the right one, where you want to take the easy way out, the path of least resistance but you can never do that. When you take over as King you are making a promise to the people of Gallifrey. You are promising that from that moment forth nothing will be more important than them. You are promising to ensure their safety and contentment before and above anything else. Sometimes when you’re in power there is no good choice, no right or easy option and you still have to choose,_ ” his father’s words rush through his memories.

He’s made his choice. Rose may not be pleased with it, but the choice has been made. He cannot allow Harry to continue running amuck and doing as he pleases. For the safety of Gallifrey, for the safety of his family Jon makes the only decision he can. There really is no other option than execution. Harry is wrong…has always been wrong…will continue to be wrong and only increase in his sadistic and horrific crimes. Jon knows he’s smart enough to escape any prison he’s sent to and that is what locks the decision in. Even if he was to sentence Harry to exile and a lifelong prison sentence, Jon knows he’d escape, he’d continue to try and ruin him and everything he’s building with Rose. That was his last thought before he finally let sleep come over him.

She’d waited at least 30 minutes after he’d fallen asleep. Rose knew once he turned off the bond that she’s be able to slip away undetected…well she’d hope she would anyways. The guard was a little more than shocked at her request but only nodded is assent as he escorted her to Andred’s cell. She hadn’t had a chance to speak with him yet, Jon had of course but she hadn’t. Rose had a niggling feeling that Jon was not given her all of the information Andred had and she was determined to find out what he was still hiding. 10 minutes later she found herself face to face with the man who had set the breaking of Jon into motion so many years ago now. Did he know then what he was doing? Sending Jon, Jack and River into the clutches of a sadistic evil man…did he know? Did he connect the dots after Jon had escaped? She thinks he must have, which is why he allowed Harry to continue with his blackmail. She could feel the fear rolling from him in waves as she sat across the table from him.

Rose was reading him; he knew…of course he did. She was terrible at hiding her empathic ability…or maybe it was just that she didn’t try to hide it. She had never been anything but open and honest with everyone. “I know what you’re doing,” he says softly, head down, shoulders rounded.

“Well then this may go faster if you just tell me what I want to know Andred,” Rose replies just as softly.

“And what is it you want me to say Rose?” he asks.

“You know I know your still hiding something…you’re going to tell me what it is,” she states kindly but firmly.

Andred closes his eyes and tries to extinguish the panic that courses through him. He debates with himself on what to do. If he lays all his cards on the table he may receive leniency…or he may be signing his own death warrant. He had never…NEVER been more frightened than when Jon had stormed into his cell yesterday. Andred had never seen Jon like that…it was…unsettling at best. He had blown into the cell demanding answers from Andred. The pure fury he had seen then, it was truly terrifying…he was terrifying. “Why would I? Then I have nothing to bargain with,” he replied in a haughty tone.

“Oh, you’re going to tell me Andred…everything. We can do that nicely or I can do it less nicely. I’m not a violent person, abhor it in fact…but to protect Jon, to protect my family…” she trails off quietly and places her hand over her stomach. (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I will do what I have to do here Andred. So how about you just come clean about whatever it is and we can move on. I don’t want to have to take more drastic measures…but understand that I will unless you cooperate.” She has him, can feel his resolve caving like a sandcastle under ocean waves.

Andred straightens himself in his chair, closes his eyes, takes a breath and then looks at Rose. “Harold Saxons is Davros’ son. He raped a prostitute and Harold was conceived. Davros brought her to his home, kept her there until she delivered. He killed her and threw the baby in the trash bin,” he says a note of finality in his tone.

“And?” Rose asks.

“And what?” he replies.

“There’s more, you’re still withholding information. I want all of it. The full story this time Andred; you’re testing what very little patience I have left and we both know it won’t be long until Jon realizes I’m not in bed any longer,” she states tersely.

“I…he’s…we’re,” he trails off.

“I…he’s…we’re what? Just fucking tell me already!” she screams, slamming her hands on the table to emphasize each word.

“Davros is my Uncle, Harold’s my cousin,” he rushes out.

“Was your Uncle…you meant to say WAS your Uncle,” Rose states, but she knows now. She can feel his fear and at this point she’s unsure if its fear of his punishment from Jon or his punishment from Davros.

“No Rose. He IS my Uncle. Davros is alive,” Andred breathes out on a sigh. He can feel his muscles relaxing, feels the tension and fear dissipating from his system, that’s everything out in the open then…this fucking nightmare he’s been trapped in for years finally ending.


	33. Chapter 33

Rose had known what he was going to say, and still when the words left Andred’s mouth she was stunned. What would she tell Jon? He’d been so sure all these years that Davros was gone…dead…and now? Turning to Andred and trying to breathe she asks, “Where? Where is he Andred? Is that where Harold went? Are they together? WHERE ARE THEY!?!?”

The instant her control over the bond slips, Jon is awake. He springs from the bed, rushing past the guard at their door, pausing only long enough to catch his dressing gown as it’s tossed to him and donning it quickly. Jon runs through the maze like halls towards where he knows Rose is. It’s only minutes later he reaches for the door, pulling it open and immediately searching her out in the room. She’s still hovered over Andred, hands placed on the table in front of her and the fear and anger pulsing along the bond almost brings him to his knees.

“Rose? Rose, what’s wrong?” he asks reaching for her with trembling hands.

She freezes as he reaches her, doesn’t know how to tell him and doesn’t want to tell him. How can she tell him this? (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “He’s…he’s alive Jon,” she says so softly he almost doesn’t hear her.

He wants so badly to yell and scream at her! What was she thinking coming here…and alone! After evreyfuckingthing that they have just been through!?! She’s not talking about Harry, he knows that. They both knew Harry was still alive, that only leaves Davros. Davros is alive. Davros is alive? Davros is alive! Jon lets the thought ramble about in his head a few times trying to gauge what emotion to assign to the news. It’s not shocking to him and somehow that feels…wrong. He should be shocked, should be scared, worried or angry even, but he’s just…not. Whether it’s because he cannot muster up the strength to be any of those things or simply because he truly doesn’t care, Jon decides it no longer matters. Grabbing Rose’s hand in his and entwining their fingers he begins pulling her from the cell and quietly says, “We have a wedding in a few hours Love, come back to bed yeah?”

“But…did you hear me? Shouldn’t we…I don’t know. Find out where he is or if Harry’s with him? What if…” she tries to say but he interrupts her.

“Rose, please let’s just go to bed. I heard you and I know that you’re upset, but really at 2:30 in the morning what would you have me do? We have a wedding in a few hours and this,” he says gesturing back towards the cell door containing Andred, “this will all still be here after.”

Rose sighs and nods her head in silent acceptance, allows him to pull her along behind him back to their room. He stays silent the whole time, but she can feel him through the bond. She can feel his worry for her and their baby, his excitement for the wedding and under all of it, his shocking apathy at the knowledge of Davros being alive. She wasn’t quite sure what reaction she had expected from him, but this was not it.

Once in the room Jon silently removes his dressing gown, then hers. He places Rose back into bed and crawls behind her wrapping himself around her once more. Her mind is buzzing with confusion and questions; he can feel it like a prickly itch that he cannot quite reach. He sighs out a deep long breath; “Rose?” is all he says.

“It’s just…are you okay? I mean…that is to say…” she stutters the words out unsure of what to say, what to ask.

He understands her confusion…he is after all very confused by his reaction as well. After a moment of awkward silence he turns so that she is on her back and takes position between her legs. Jon presses his forehead to hers and starts breathing slowly, trying to figure out a way to explain what even he doesn’t really understand. “It simply doesn’t matter Rose,” he finally says softly, “Davros is alive, has been alive this whole time. He’s never made it known, never came looking for Jack or me. He’s never made threats to either of us; obviously he wants no more to do with me than I do with him. Yeah, he’s Harry’s father and that’s a bit…well makes sense really. Harry was always wrong, but it doesn’t change anything Rose. It’s still 2:30 in the morning on the day of our wedding. We’re still going to be married today, going to be crowned tomorrow and off on our honeymoon right after that. You’re still pregnant, still giving me a life I never thought I’d have, still the best thing that has ever happened to me…none of that has changed.”

“But,” she tries to respond and is interrupted again.

Jon presses his lips to hers in an effort to stave off her questions. He meant what he said…it doesn’t matter, doesn’t change anything and he’s tired of worrying over things that he cannot change. Harry escaped, so what? He’ll be back…he always comes back. Davros is alive and Harry is likely there with him now…planning his next disaster for Jon…again so what? They aren’t here now and now is what is important. Here and now…Rose and him…his family…their life, that’s all that matters right now. Everything else…it will have to wait.

He can feel her reluctant acquiescence pulse along the bond, feels as she gives into his kisses and tries to push away her questions. “I love you Rose and right now that is all that matters. Wherever they are, whatever they are planning, it’s not happening right now,” he whispers before deepening the kiss. His tongue swipes across her lower lip begging entrance as his hand locks into her hair directing her where he wants her to be…always wants her to be.

It had been days since he had been able to touch her like this. Press conferences, wedding details, Harry and hospitals, interrogating Andred, comforting Romana…all of that pushed to the forefront of their lives and then the guards…gone now…all gone. Jon presses down on her fully and begins running his hands over her body. Sweet kisses and gentle strokes fall away as wave after wave of her arousal pushes through the bond. Electricity spiking, tongues dueling and she grinds her hips into him forcing the head of his cock to rub against her clit, drawing that growl from him that she loves so much.

It’s immediate then, the need to claim her, mark her, make her his once more and he pushes into her without even checking if she’s ready for him. Jon’s movements become frantic the moment he’s fully inside of her. His hands everywhere on her body and his teeth biting at her pulse point. Rose tries to calm him, tries to send waves of love and calm through the bond but it goes unrecognized…or maybe ignored, she’s not sure. What she is sure of is that he needs this…needs her and she stops trying to calm him, allows him the control he needs and becomes pliant beneath him.

She can feel all of his emotions cascading upon her through the bond; fear, sadness, hope, love and more than anything his need for her to just let this go. So she does; Rose forces thoughts of Davros, Andred and Harry from her mind and focuses solely on Jon. She whispers how much she loves him, how she knows he’ll keep them safe, how much she trusts him and over and over again, how she’ll never leave him. She whispers and screams and writhes and begs as he moves in and out of her; his own words, moans and gasps mixing with hers.

For hours Jon makes love to her, pushing her so close to the edge but never letting her fall…always slowing or stopping right before she crests until she’s whimpering and begging beneath him for release. His movements begin to slow and the chaos of his mind begins to ebb away; she feels a sense of sorrow push through the bond and tightens her grip on him. Rose pushes her hands through his hair, brings his mouth to hers, clenches her inner muscles around his cock and feels his movements stutter with his release. Jon begins rubbing her clit as he continues grinding into her, finally allowing her climax to crest. He falls atop her and tries to regain his breath, tries to slow the racing of his heart and the blood rushing in his veins.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Rose,” he says over and over. Taking her like that, he shouldn’t have done that; she didn’t deserve that and the guilt crashes down on him and her respectively.

She doesn’t respond, doesn’t need to. He knows she’s okay, knows he didn’t hurt her and he obviously knows she enjoyed herself. He’s apologizing for different reasons entirely and she knows that too even if he doesn’t yet. Rose could feel the chaos of his thoughts and emotions earlier, easily decipherable to her even if not to him at the time. He did this to her, brought this shit into her life. Harry, Andred, Gallifrey and now Davros…and that’s just in the past few weeks. Everything has been so…difficult since they found each other. It’s been one dramatic mess after another, him rescuing her, her rescuing him and all he wants is peace…with her.

 

“We could leave Jon,” she whispers into the skin of his neck between small kisses, “We could go right now and never look back. Forget Gallifrey; forget kings and queens and rules and laws. Forget Harry, Davros, Andred and Romana, councils and Prime Ministers…Lucy Saxons. We could just go…if you’d like.”

He wants that so badly…to run. To take Rose and flee; leave all of this fucking bullshit behind and find somewhere new to be them, but he can’t do that anymore than she could when he suggested it. Just days ago now when she was the one with the frantic and chaotic movements and the unyielding need to feel him inside of her as she finally broke under the pressure of everything. “But we can’t…can we?” he asks softly against the skin of her neck.

“Of course we can,” she parrots his response from days earlier. “We can leave here, go home and continue with our lives as if this never happened. Or we could leave Cardiff, travel or…I don’t know…just go somewhere new? We could do that if you really want to,” she states firmly, locking her eyes with his, “Not…not if you’re running away though Jon,” and she feels him tense on top of her. He tries to roll away and she tightens her legs around his waist halting his movements. “If you want to leave because you’ve decided not to take the crown, or that Gallifrey will be better without you…us in charge, if it’s because YOU do not want to take the responsibility or think you will fail your people in some way…then yes, we can leave and never look back. I will gather our friends and family and we can be gone in an hour to wherever you like.” (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “If…if this is about Harry and Davros and fear…then no. We can’t leave Jon, not for that or because of that,” she finishes softly.

After a moment of silence between them she feels the puff of air as he sighs into her neck, knows he’s made his decision and she waits as he gathers his thoughts. “We can’t run from Harry, he’ll always find me…always hunt us down no matter where we go,” he says, voice much stronger than just moments before. He feels her pride in him and love for him wash over him through the bond. “Always with the right words Rose Tyler, how do you manage that? To always pull me back from the brink of utter stupidity and selfishness? Amazing you are,” he says through tears and a beaming smile. He bends to kiss her and just as he starts to deepen it there’s a knock on their door.

“Sire? Mrs. Tyler is here to collect…Miss Tyler,” the guard states haltingly as he tries to restrain Jackie from entering the room.

“Rose! You were meant to be up at breakfast 30 minutes ago! You’re throwing the whole schedule off and…” Jackie screeches from behind the door.

“I’m up mum, relax. I’ll be down in just a moment,” she hollers back, “Okay so…guess I’ll see you at the…altar? Church? Um…I don’t even know where we’re getting married,” she giggles, embarrassed that she’s not even thought to ask.

“That’s okay, I don’t know either,” he smiles at her, “They changed the location after everything and I didn’t ask. It’s fine though, I’m sure Toby and Susan will know what’s happening.”

“Rose?” Susan’s voice comes softly through the door, “We really do need to be getting along now, I have coffeeeeee,” she sing songs.

Even the lure of coffee is not enough to make her want to leave Jon’s arms, reluctantly she rolls from the bed and slides on her dressing gown, kissing him once more and heading to the door. She is unprepared for what is waiting on the other side as she pulls it open. Everyone she knows is there, smiling and throwing flower petals at her…dragging her from the room amid shouts of wedding day and congratulations. Clara thrusts a large paper cup into her hand and says, “Hot,” before she skips off to wherever she needs to be. Martha hands her a muffin and starts checking her vitals as they walk while Jackie twitters on about hair and make-up beside her. Susan begins running down her schedule and Amy is walking on her other side beaming away. Rose cannot help but get caught up in all of the happiness these people…her people are exuding. It’s exhilarating, inducing an almost euphoric high within her.

 

Jon feels the rush of surprise and joy as Rose opens the door from their room. He can hear the shouting and giggling of the girls as they pull her away to prepare for the wedding. Their wedding…today…he’s marrying her today and it brings a huge smile to his face. He’s so lost in the idea of the wedding that he doesn’t see everyone standing there waiting on him until Jack makes a coughing noise and Donna smacks the back of his head hollering, “Oi! Spaceman, get your scrawny arse moving, we haven’t any time for your shit today,” as she grabs him by his wonky ear and starts to pull him from the bed.

Before he has a chance to stop her, before he can get even a syllable out, she pulls him from the bed by his ear and the room gasps before it breaks into a raucous laughter. Jack, Rory, Matt and even Toby burst into a hysterical laughter that has Donna completely baffled until she turns to Jon. He’s blushing…beyond blushing…he can feel the heat rising and spreading throughout his entire body as he scrabbles behind him for the sheet, “OH MY GOD!” she squeaks slamming her hand over her eyes and fleeing from the room in embarrassment.

As the laughter of his friends dies down Toby throws his dressing gown at him and tries to apologize through his giggles. “Is it safe to come in yet?” Donna screeches through the door.

“Yes Donna,” he sighs out, pulling the tie on his dressing gown tighter than necessary.

She comes back into the room her hand already raised, “No, not even going to acknowledge it, we’re moving right along,” she states tersely to the boys still giggling. She grabs Jon by the hand and starts pulling him down the hall the others close behind. Toby starts the rundown of his schedule before the service begins and he is pushed into a chair for a haircut and a shave.

“Coffee?” he whines as the barber prepares to shave him.

“Later,” Donna snaps, “Maybe if you’d not been gettin' a leg over all morning you’d have had time, now you’re fucked in more ways than one Jon. So no…no coffee until you’re back on the timetable.”

He merely grunts in response before saying, “It’s my wedding day, shouldn’t you be nice and spoil me today? Isn’t that how it works?”

“No you dolt! That’s for the bride, you…you just shut up and do what you’re told for once. That is your job today. No arguing, no whining, no complaining. You know, try to not be you until after the wedding as we have no time for it today Jon. Now, Toby has your schedule and Jack is here to make sure you stay on it. I have to go meet up with the girls and get ready,” Donna says turning to leave.

“Wait, what? You’re my best man, aren’t you supposed to stay here with me?” Jon says almost panicked.

She stops and walks back over to him, “Jon, unless you want another round of let’s see who’s naked now, I need to go get ready with the girls. Jack is going to text me once all this shits done and then I’ll be back okay?” She can see the panic in his eyes and a small part of her thrills at the idea that he still needs her, “I promise I’ll be back to do all the best man stuff once your showered and dressed,” she says kissing his cheek and rushing out the door.

He looks stunned momentarily, then scared. Turning to Jack he says, “What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

A look of confusion sweeps over their faces, “Nothing’s happened Jon, well…nothing more than when you went to bed last night at any rate, why?” Jack asks.

“She…Donna kissed me Jack! She didn’t smack me or threaten me…she kissed me,” he says, harshly wiping away the place where Donna had kissed him.

 

“Yes well, we all have our moments of peculiarities Jon, now shut up and let the man do his job or when she comes back she will slap you and me and them,” Jack says laughing and pointing to everyone currently in the room.

From there it’s rushing from one room to the next for both Jon and Rose; each with their respective groups to keep them on task as well as on time. Shower, hair, make-up, teeth whitening, nails and undergarments, a small peanut butter sandwich and more coffee for Rose before she’s being hustled from the palace to an unknown location. As she climbs in the car wrapped in her dressing gown and underclothes she sees her dress. It’s laid out before her in a bag across the seat opposite her in the limousine. It hits her then; she’s on her way to be married. She’s going to be his wife, his queen…Gallifrey’s queen. This is real and it’s happening right The FUCK NOW! Oh my God, Oh my God over and over in her head until it becomes audible to everyone else as well.

“I…I’m getting married! I can’t do this! I can’t be Queen! I…what was I thinking agreeing to this? How am I supposed to be the queen of a fucking country, how am I supposed to help him in this…I…I…” Rose says panicking.

She hears the sound of it before the pain sets in, “SMACK,” and the pain flares in her right cheek. Complete silence falls in the car as one astonished look after another falls to Clara. She can feel the look of shock on her own face as Rose turns to her.

One hand covering the right side of her face and her mouth gaping, Rose looks to Clara and says, “Clara, did…why the hell did you just slap me?!”

Flushing a bright crimson, Clara tries to regain her composure. To be honest she’s just as shocked if not more so that she just slapped Rose, her friend and OH SHIT soon to be QUEEN. Oh lord, she’s swearing again! “I…you were freaking out Rose! That’s what people do in all those movies we watch. When…well when someone starts babbling complete and utter nonsense and not breathing properly and…and….You know what! Yes I slapped you and you had it coming too! Rattling on all this nonsensical…bullshit and yes I said bullshit Rose! Complete trash about not being able to do this! You’re already doing it, have been doing it…God you’re so smart and so FUCKING stupid at the same time! You two…you and Jon…” she trails off trying to calm herself some. She’s so tired of the way Rose sees herself, like some broken thing, beyond repair, beyond happiness…especially since it’s literally right in front of her fucking face and oh she’s worked up again at that thought.

“Clara what are you…” Rose starts to say.

“No! Now you listen up Rose Marion Tyler! I…we…all of us have watched you these last 3 years be miserable. And yeah your life sucked for a bit, but it doesn’t now. Stop focusing on all this shit from your past and grow the fuck up already. Whaaa…poor me I have a soul-mate, Whaaa…poor me I’m becoming royalty, Whaaa…poor me I’m pregnant and going to marry the man of my dreams, who just so happens to be a fucking genius and fucking gorgeous and so devoted to you and your child that even I want to hurl my biscuits watching you two! It’s like you want to be unhappy Rose. For FUCKS SAKE we are driving to your GOD DAMN WEDDING and all you can do is whine about what you THINK you cannot do, when you’ve already been fucking doing it! Now…quit your fucking whining, put on a fucking smile and get happy before I make the last slap look like a tease to an S&M movie!” Clara screams just mere inches from her face.

When her rant is finished Clara realizes it has become very quiet in the car and she raises her eyes back to Rose’s. She’s just about to apologize for her shocking outburst when Rose starts softly giggling. Soft giggles turn to full on laughter and before long Rose is holding her stomach and laughing so hard she almost falls from the bench seat. As the tension starts to subside in the car everyone else begins to laugh as well.

 

“Clara…your mouth! I’ve never heard you speak like that, oh it was a thing of beauty to behold,” Rose gushes as the laughter stats to calm, “and you’re absolutely right Clara. Thank you for bringing me back to what’s important right now,” she says leaning in to hug her friend closely.

“Yeah um…you’re welcome?” Clara offers tentatively. She’s unsure what brought that on, she’s never spoken to anyone that way?!

“You’re just lucky Matt wasn’t privy to that little rant, “Martha giggles, "I have a feeling he likes it dirty that one does."

“What? Why?” Clara asks, honestly confused by the statement.

“Clara Love, if your boy-toy knew you could speak like that, well…I’m sure there’d be certain instances it would be requested,” Jackie smirks at her knowingly and she flushes bright red again.

“Oh,” Clara squeaks before hiding her face in her hands, “Rose, I’m so sorry that I hit you and said…well all of that. I don’t know what happened and I’m so, so sorry! It’s your wedding day and all brides freak out and I just…hit you. I’ve never hit anyone before!”

“It’s really no bother Clara and again you were right,” Rose says lightly. The slap didn’t really hurt…much, but her words…what Clara said…she’s right, “I have a husband, a baby, a life…a real proper life and all of you as well. You were right to slap me, I was being a right twat,” she says grimacing.

“Well lovely, now that’s out of the way,” Romana says sarcastically, “we’re here and you need to be getting inside before Jon’s car gets here.” Everyone steps from the car, Susan grabs the dress and they all rush to the room that has been set up for them to finish getting ready.

Jon is just stepping from the shower when he feels Rose’s panic flare across their bond and he freezes. It’s a proper panic, he can feel the anxiety attack building within her and he reaches for his phone. He dials Rose and there’s no answer causing worry to race through him and he immediately dials Amy. Again…no response…straight to voicemail, it’s less than 30 seconds before he receives a text from Amy, “Everything’s fine, small panic attack, we have it under control, she’s fine I promise. Get ready to be married and DON’T be late!” He tamps down the strength of the bond, not wanting Rose to feel his insane amount of fear over every little emotion he gets from her. He grabs a towel and heads to the room to get ready to go…to get married. He’s getting married. She’s really going to marry him and he marvels at that for a moment. Complete and utter joy rushes through him at the thought of Rose being his wife and he smiles.

“Alright lover-boy, let’s get you ready to go!” Jack exclaims, slapping Jon’s bare arse laughing again.

As he looks around the room he sees it’s just him and Jack, “Where’s everyone else?”

“Donna went to get coffee while you get dressed, she looks breathtakingly beautiful by the way,” Jack says winking at him, making a small amount of bile rise in Jon’s throat. He knows what that wink means. “Toby and Rory are off getting their shaves and what not and I am here to help you get into all this…shit. What is all of this anyways?” he asks picking up piece after piece of Jon’s wedding attire.

Jon groans before responding, “Traditional wedding garb. I tried to talk them into letting me wear a tux but the council threw a fit.”

“How fortunate for you that I just so happen to have a custom made Tux with all the trimmings to match Rose’s GORGEOUS dress,” Jack replies smiling, handing a clothing bag to Jon.

“How’d you get them to let me wear a tux?” Jon asks surprised.

 

“Oh, I didn’t,” Jack says, “but I figured with you being the soon to be King and all…well they can all just fuck off can’t they. It’s not as if they are going to stop the wedding to make you change and they aren’t going to see you beforehand…so what is it you always say? Allons~y Jon your bride awaits!”

“Thank you Jack, truly thank you for everything,” Jon says getting misty eyed, “I know you weren’t pleased at the thought of Rose and I meeting and…”

“No Jon, it was never that,” Jack replies firmly, “I was selfish and scared. I always knew, I don’t know how but I always knew with absolute clarity that Rose was yours. But I also knew it wasn’t time yet, again I don’t know why or how I knew…It was just there,” Jack says honestly.

Jon doesn’t respond, just walks over and pulls Jack into himself, hugging him with all of his strength. After more time than would be considered entirely proper given his state of undress, Jack pulls back from him and smiles, “As much as I am enjoying having you naked and pressed against me and as often as I have imagined something very similar to this scenario…you have an incredibly lucky young lady waiting for you,” he says softly before kissing Jon quickly and pulling away completely.

“Oh I don’t know, as far as luck goes I’d say Jon is most definitely the lucky one here Jack,” Rory says smirking from the now open door as Jon wraps his dressing gown around him once more.

“Jonathon Thomas Ardis-Noble,” Donna screeches from the doorway behind Rory and Toby, “Why the hell are you not dressed yet?” she exclaims, smacking Jack on the back of his head, “Let’s go! Get a move on! Christ Jon you’re going to be late for your own fucking wedding!” 20 minutes later and a stern admonishment from Donna, he’s being roughly manhandled into the back of a waiting car and they take off before Toby even has the door closed.

Donna texts Amy letting them know they are on their way and settles into the plush seat of the limousine. It’s a 20 minute ride filled with laughter and jokes at Jon’s expense, which he is more than happily ignoring in favor of picturing Rose. His fiancé, soon to be his wife, the mother of his child and the only light in his universe. It’s only been just over a month since he found her. It was only hours after that he knew he couldn’t survive without her and only a few short hours after that realization that his whole world changed.

He can feel her; even now with the bond tamped down he can feel her in every atom of himself. She’s coursing through his body spreading love, joy, trust and hope throughout him. Repairing and replacing the coldness that was within him for so, so long without her. They are miles apart from each other and still she’s there, making him better, fixing him in ways he never thought possible. She is his one constant in a world that had been and remains constantly shifting beneath him. Rose had managed to do what he had tried to for so long; to pull him from that dark place where he’d lived and brought him into her world. A world of light kisses and no so light kisses, gentle touches and…love. He’s so bloody in love with her that he cannot even think straight without her hand in his anymore. He has become so enmeshed with her, her heart and mind always there with him now and it’s just…everything, he thinks as the car pulls to a stop. Before exiting the car Rory ties a blindfold around Jon’s eyes.

“What’s this for? Surely I’m allowed to know where we are now?” he asks curiously.

“It’s a surprise Jon, just hush and relax yeah?” Rory says brusquely.

Jon walks into the venue led by Donna, followed by Jack, Rory and Toby. Once they step inside, his blindfold is removed. He is stunned into silence and an inability to move as he takes in the view before him. It’s so completely, utterly Rose. Every candle, every flower, every…everything screams Rose at him. He stands completely still trying to take everything in, tears beginning to fall as he realizes where he is. Did anyone tell her where they were going? Does she know what this building is? He turns in a small circle still trying to memorize everything. He’ll not be forgetting one moment of this.

 

“Has she,” he stops, clears his throat and tries again, “Has Rose seen this yet? Does she know where we are?” he asks turning to Donna.

“No she hasn’t seen this room yet and yes she knows where we are. Amy was going to tell her once they were in the…bridal chamber? I guess is what we’d call it,” she responds smiling softly.

“How? How did you get all this done? How can we even be in here? This building burned shortly before they died Donna,” Jon asks, the tears running freely now.

This is…was his home. When they were in Gallifrey…this was his home. Growing up he spent a lot of time at the palace, but they didn’t live there. His mother had wanted them to have some semblance of a normal childhood and so this was his home. As he looks around the room they are in he knows it’s the banquet hall, it’s the only room this large in this house. Under the layers of barely pink and white fabrics, behind the beautiful bouquets of pink cherry blossoms and brilliant white daisies, hidden behind cascading branches of English Ivy, rests the walls of his childhood home. Every place he turns his eyes is a memory of his family. His parents laughing, smiling and loving each other. Even as a small child he knew what his parents shared was special.

It was always…different watching them together as opposed to their friends. It was a light that was always present around them, a joy that radiated from them when they were together. Of course he knows a bit more now, but as a child they seemed magical, the love they felt for each other made only for fairy stories. It was a wonderful way to grow up and a wonderful way to learn about love. He wishes they were here, wishes they could see the man he’s becoming and he silently hopes they would be proud of him now. Now that Rose has pulled his from his darkness and shown him there is so much more than just existing. They would have loved her, he’s sure of that. No matter of her past or where she came from…they would have loved her as surely as he does. Movement finally returning to his shocked limbs and senses he begins to wander the hall, taking in everything.

“She’s going to love this Donna,” he says so quietly she almost didn’t hear him, “How did you put this together?” he asks with just a bit of awe in his strained voice.

“I can’t take all the credit Spaceman,” she says quickly, trying to deflect his emotional response unless she wants to start crying tears of her own. “All of the décor and what not was Jackie and company. In large part Amy and Clara are responsible for what you see. I merely suggested this venue after all the shit that happened with…Nope not even gonna say it. He has no place here today…so yeah I…I thought here would be okay?” she says hesitantly.

Donna had hoped he’d be pleased with the choice but she also worried it would be too hard for him to be here. In an instant he is clutching at her and thanking her over and over and she thinks maybe she wasn’t far off the mark after all. Jon is still clutching her, silent tears falling when the rest of the guests start to arrive. It was supposed to be open to the public, it was supposed to be aired on the telly, it was supposed to be a huge celebration for everyone; instead it is a closed ceremony. No press, no public and only those who Jon felt could be trusted are going to be present. Half the Gallifreyan Council isn’t even there and oh…they were so bloody pissed about that. He pushes those thoughts aside, they are for another day and starts to greet the guests that were permitted in.

One by one he thanks them for coming and they take their seats, it all goes very smoothly and quite a bit faster than he had thought it would. Before he knows it, it’s time to take his place under the flowering archway as Jack rushes off to prepare to give him his bride. Donna takes her place next to him, then Rory with a place in between for Jack and then the music starts.

His heart skitters as he hears it, he reaches for Donna’s hand at the first notes. Jon knows exactly the song that had been chosen for them. It’s his parent’s song, the same song they married to; the very same song he and Donna watched them fall in love with each other over and over again to. As the first notes of Endless Love ring out he recognizes the voice and new tears make their way down his face.

 

Jon remembers vividly the day she made this recording. It was his parent’s 15th wedding anniversary. This was his mother’s gift to his father. She loved to sing but only in private. His mother would sing for him, Harry and Donna, she would sing for his father but that was it, never publicly.

“What do you give the man who has everything?” she had asked him the night before the party.

“I dunno mum, something only he would know the value of I spose’,” he responded, and this had been her gift to him.

As the memories rush through him he clamps down tighter on Donna’s hand for support. He is trying desperately to reign in his emotions, Rose will be out in mere moments and he cannot fall apart just yet. He doesn’t turn to look at Donna; he knows that will break the very thin barrier holding the flood in. Jon releases her hand and pulls himself to his full height at the first glimpse of Amy’s red hair. This is it; right now…she’s going to be his wife.

“It’s time Love, are you ready? Jack’s just outside the door waiting for you,” Jackie says softly, tears barely being held back at the sight of Rose all put together. Rose had spent the last 90 minutes getting ready. Her dress taking 3 pairs of extra hands to get her into, and Jackie sewing the very last stitch as Amy fastened the last button on her back.

When they arrived she had been blindfolded before being taken to the bridal chamber as Amy had called it. Once inside and given back her vision Amy had pulled her aside to tell her where they were and why this place had been chosen. Jon’s childhood home, it had burned just before his parents died.

“How? How can we be here if it burned Amy? How is Jon going to feel about this?” she asked.

“How we’re here is too long and not really important enough to explain right now,” Amy responded softly, “and we’re all hoping Jon will be okay with the chosen location. He’s not here yet, neither is Donna and I think…well they…she and Jack wanted it to be a surprise when you saw it but I think maybe you should go and see the room before you walk down the aisle Rose. There’s a lot to take in and you should get to see that beforehand, ya know not miss out because you’re so focused on Jon or not tossin’ your biscuits yeah?”

Jackie, Amy and Clara lead Rose with her eyes covered to the banquet hall. She’s not in her dress yet, they had said that she needed to wait till the last moment for that. They hadn’t told her why, but she assumed they didn’t want her spilling something on it. The truth behind it was that most parts of the building were in complete disrepair, walls covered in soot, floors badly damaged from the water used to extinguish the raging fire that had claimed Jon’s childhood home. They’d only had enough time to prepare the two necessary rooms.

“Open your eyes Love,” Jackie says, tears no longer contained as she removes the blindfold.

It’s perfect. The most beautiful things she could have imagined wouldn’t have compared to what they were able to do in 2 days time. “I…it’s…bloody hell I’m going to ruin my make-up,” she says as tears burn her eyes, “It’s perfect, thank you so much,” she whispers reaching for all of them at once. She only gets a moment to look around, just long enough for the shock to wear off before Amy gets the text that Jon is on his way and she’s rushed back to the room to get ready.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I’m ready mum,” she says softly. This is it…her wedding day. In just a short while she’ll be his wife and that thought sends a rush of pure joy through her body.

“Rose,” Jack gasps as he takes in the vision before him, “You look stunning,” he says offering her his arm. “Ready?” his grin huge and beautiful.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Ready,” she smiles back. Amy is the first to appear, followed by Jackie and then Clara. They each take their respective places as the music begins. Rose clutches Jack’s arm tightly and takes the first step into the beginning of the rest of her life.

 

Jon watches as Amy, Jackie and Clara make their way down the aisle and position themselves. He thinks he smiles at them; he hopes that what his face did anyways. His heart is racing at a ridiculous speed in direct opposition to the way time seems to be moving. Once Clara had taken her position it seemed an inordinate amount of time before Rose had made her appearance arm and arm with Jack. It’s…she’s…no oxygen…he can’t breathe. The smile on her face is so perfect, she’s radiating happiness as she walks down the aisle towards him and even with the bond tamped down it suffuses his entire being.

 _“She’s the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen Donna,” “and I know it’s crazy, as I said earlier, but I love you too Jon,” “Mine, Mine, MINE,” “Yours Jon, only yours…always,” “Rose Tyler, how long are you going to stay with me? Forever,”_ the memories rushing in and back out just as quickly.

Entire lifetimes could have passed by, planets could have been born, lived, died and born again in the time it seemed to take for Jack to finally present Rose to him.

“Who gives this woman to this man?” asks Romana.

“I do,” replies Jack with a wink and a smile at Jon.

And finally…FINALLY her hands are in his, oxygen returning to his lungs and…and she’s…perfect. He tries to smile at her, hopes she can feel through the bond what he can’t express to her in any other way. Romana is talking and talking and talking. She drones on about traditions, laws and all matter of other royal…shit. He’s sure it’s important, thinks he should probably try to focus on what she’s saying but he just can’t. Time is both expanding and contracting around them and he just cannot focus on anything but Rose. On her hands in his, her eyes doing that little kid magic sparkling thing, her tongue...that fucking tongue caught between her teeth as she smiles up at him.

“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time in exactly the same way from moment to moment; it is an impossible thing. Yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love and of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in the terror of the ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity, when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity, in freedom. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits—islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides of life…” Romana says to the entire room.

Rose tightens her grip on his hands, tries to get him to focus. “Vows,” he hears the word ring out in his head and snaps his attention back to Romana.

“Jon and Rose know now before you go further, that since your paths have crossed in this life, you have formed an eternal and sacred bond. As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real the ideals that to you, give meaning to this ceremony and to the institution of marriage. With full awareness, know that you are not only declaring your intent to be wed before your friends and family, but you speak that intent also to the people and land of Gallifrey. The promises made today and the ties that are bound here will greatly strengthen your union and will cross the years and lives of each soul’s growth. Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?” Romana asks.

“We do,” they respond as one voice.

Romana: “Jon, will you share in Rose’s pain and seek to alleviate it?"

“I will.”

Romana: “Rose, will you share in Jon’s pain and seek to alleviate it?"

“I will.”

Romana: “And so the binding is made.” Susan and Toby make the first wrap of their wrists joining them together.

Romana: “Jon, will you share in Rose’s laughter and look for the brightness and the positive in her?”

“I will.”

Romana: “Rose, will you share in Jon’s laughter and look for the brightness and positive in him?"

“I will.”

Romana: “And so the binding is made.” (Another wrap of their wrists.)

Romana: “Jon, will you share in Rose’s burdens so that your spirits may grow in this union?”

“I will.”

Romana: "Rose, will you share in Jon’s burdens so that your spirits may grow in this union?"

“I will.”

Romana: “And so the binding is made.” (Another wrap of their wrists.)

Romana: “Jon, will you share in Rose’s dreams?”

“I will."

Romana: “Rose, will you share in Jon’s dreams?”

“I will.”

Romana: “And so the binding is made.” (Another wrap of their wrists.)

Romana: Jon, will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?”

“I will.”

Romana: “Rose, will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?”

“I will.”

Romana: “And so the binding is made.” (Another wrap of their wrists.)

Romana: “Jon, will you honor Rose as an equal in this union?"

“I will.”

Romana: “Rose, will you honor Jon as an equal in this union?”

“I will.”

Romana: “And so the binding is made.” (Another wrap of their wrists.)

“Jon and Rose, as your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust. These cords do not form the bond of marriage, but rather by the vows you have made. Always you hold in your own hands the fate of this union. Above you are stars and below you is earth. Like stars your love should be a constant source of light, and like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow. May these hands be blessed this day. May they always hold each other. May they have the strength to hang on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. May they remain tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love. May they build a relationship founded in trust, and rich in caring. May these hands be healer, protector, shelter, and guidance for each other. I will now ask you to seal the vows you share with each other by the giving and receiving of rings. The perfect circle of the ring symbolizes eternity. The precious metal came from the ground as a rough ore and was heated and purified, shaped and polished. Something beautiful was made from raw elements. Love is like that. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It is the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all.”

Romana stifles the sigh building in her throat as she reads the ‘vows’ they made for each other and rolls her eyes as she says, “Jon, Rose your vows please?”

Jon smiles at Rose, it’s huge and beautiful and perfect…it’s her entire world and says, “Rose Tyler, how long are you going to stay with me?”

She smiles back at him, tongue in her teeth, sparkling magic eyes and says, “Forever.”

Romana: “Jon and Rose, on behalf of all those present, by the strength of your own love and by the power given to me by the Gallifreyan Council, I pronounce you married. You may seal your vows with a kiss.”

Jon leans into Rose, presses his lips to hers and tries to keep it simple, tries to keep it light, tries to remember they are in front of a crowd of people…he fails miserably. The instant his mouth reaches hers time stops, the world shifts and a sense of completeness neither of them could have conceived before this moment settles upon them. Every moment of this life and every previous one rushes back and forth through the bond. They know every second their souls spent searching, yearning for each other. Whatever sense of together they had before this was child’s play, a mere drop of water in an ocean. This is what they had been searching for in this life and every previous one. The bond sparks and shimmers in tones of pink and blue, entwining the colors just as their hands are entwined with the ropes at their wrists. Peacefulness settles between the two as the shimmering colors recede and he knows he should pull back from her, from the kiss. He just…can’t yet. It’s not until he hears Jack’s quite cough and a squeak from Jackie that he starts to release her.

Resting his forehead to hers, both pairs of eyes still closed, “I love you Rose, thank you,” he whispers softly before pulling fully away from her.

“That’s going to have to be edited,” Romana hisses at them quietly before she clears her throat and says, “I would like to introduce to you Prince Jonathon Thomas Ardis and his bride Princess Rose Marion Ardis.”

As Romana announces their newly married status to the crowd Jon and Rose turn with tears streaking, huge smiles and begin their walk down the aisle as husband and wife for the first time amid the applause of the audience before them.

“What the FUCK do you mean you cannot find them?!” Harry rages into the phone, “He is the fucking King of Gallifrey; this is his God Dammed wedding day! How can you not locate that wedding in a town with 50,000 people!”

“I cannot find them because I never looked Harold,” the voice on the other end replies calmly, “I told you when you first contacted me that you shouldn’t have bothered. I threw you in that dumpster for a reason. I did not want you then and I certainly do not want you now. Had I known then who Jon was and that you were behind manufacturing his disappearance I would have declined the offer. You are messing with things you do not understand child and that…man,” Davros stops and sighs heavily into the phone, “You do not have any concept of what that man is capable of becoming. What he has already become – even he may not know. I will have no part in your little vendetta. I seek no retribution from him. He believes me to be dead and gone and I intend on keeping it that way. Contact me again child and it will be you who never sees the light of day again,” that is the last thing Harry hears before the phone disconnects.

Rage, fury, pure unadulterated hate race through his system like a wildfire. Not wanted, trash, thrown away and abandoned again…by his father…the man who created him! The wedding will be over by now…Jon’s married that little estate trash whore. Tomorrow he’ll be crowned King. It doesn’t matter anymore, that little bitch of his ruined everything, destroyed him in front of all of Gallifrey dashing his chances of being King far better than Jon ever could have.

As he strikes out at anything around him for an indeterminable amount of time, as his energy begins to wane he drops unceremoniously to the floor. He has time, no rush to get rid of Jon, as he’ll never be King now. So he has the time he needs to do this right, to be rid of him once and for all. No more petty games, no more just trying to destroy him or humiliate him. No, this time he will end him. Harry brings himself from the floor, stands at his full height, and glances one last time at his home and saunters into the night. He has time now and he will make that work for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know everyone was expecting something bad to happen at the wedding and originally I had written that way but...well...what can I say? The muse wants what she wants and she DEFINITELY wanted the wedding to happen without incident. For those of you who agree with the muse (silly as she may be) thank you, for those that don't...well we're not done yet. I know the wedding itself seems a bit long winded, but it's very special to me as it was mine and my husbands ceremony so many years ago now, cutting it short felt...well...icky.  
> Now that my daughter's wedding is over I am hoping to be able to get back to weekly updates (depending on work of course).  
> Thanks for reading, comments are always appreciated!


	34. Chapter 34

It had been the longest 7 months of his life, hers too he imagined. The wedding had been beautiful and the following crowning ceremony the next day occurred with no issues. That in itself was amazing he thought, as their life had been one dramatic affair after the next since they’d met. He’d taken her on their honeymoon –Barcelona and he wished with everything in him that they were back there now. White sandy beaches, Rose in a bikini so tiny as almost to be non-existent and sex…dear Lord the amount of sex they had. It was the perfect two-week honeymoon, if they pretended not to notice the guards and Romana hovering about all the time, or Susan and Toby trying to maintain a discreet distance but always within view. However, as all things must the honeymoon came to an end and they were once again hurled back into the reality of their new life.

A life where he was King and Rose his Queen. A life where they had a country to rule, armies to command and traitors to find all the while making sure Rose’s pregnancy went smoothly. It wasn’t until the end of her second trimester that Martha discovered an issue. During one of Rose’s routine checkups Martha noticed a small amount of spotting.

“It’s likely nothin’ to fuss about,” Martha said, “but I’d like to do a transvaginal ultrasound just to be on the safe side.”

“I’ve had several ultrasounds already,” Rose stated trying to keep the worry from her voice and her fear from crossing the bond. Jon was so wrapped up in trying to find Harold Saxon and running the country…he didn’t need anymore stress.

“Yeah, but this is a different kind of ultrasound. I’ll be looking from the inside this time. It’s just a precaution Rose, I’m sure everything is fine,” Martha replied.

As it turns out everything was most decidedly not fine. The amount of scar tissue Rose had internally from her years with Jimmy Stones was causing issues with her placenta properly attaching to her uterine wall. A placental abruption is what Martha had called it.

“Most of the time it’s not a big issue and is easily treated with bed rest and close monitoring. Unfortunately, due to the amount of internal damage you’ve had over the years this could be a serious issue,” Martha said after the exam was completed. “Ill need you on bed rest and I’m sorry Rose, but it’s likely you’ll be down the remainder of your pregnancy. As it is now I’m going to prepare for a per-term delivery. Right now it’s only a partial separation but as the baby grows it could become a full separation and we may need to deliver early.”

“How…how early?” Rose asks biting at the cuticle on her thumb until she tastes blood.

“Well, right now you’re at 26 weeks. A full term delivery is at minimum 37 weeks. So we need to keep that baby in there for at least 11 weeks if we can.” Martha replies.

Of course that is not what happened he thought as he stands beside his Rose who is crying and terrified that she and their baby are going to die. She had woken him in the middle of the night as her horror and fear raced along their bond. Rose hadn’t even had a chance to scream before Jon was on his cell calling for Martha as he watched their bed sheets turn crimson from Rose’s blood. After that it was a rush of people and panic as Rose was rushed from their bedroom to the medical facilities room Martha had set up, “ _Just in case_ ,” she had said.

Rose was now 33 weeks along and though they had done everything Martha told them to do to keep her from going into per-term labor, it clearly hadn’t worked.

“Can you stop it? The labor…can you stop the contractions? I read that there are medications you can give her that will help stop…” Jon begins asking agitatedly.

“No, not now. The placenta has torn fully away from the wall, we have no choice but to deliver early,” Martha states interrupting Jon’s frantic questioning.

“But I’m only 33 weeks yet, it’s too soon,” Rose cries quietly, both hands lying on her protruding belly. “What if…what’s going to happen Martha? Is the baby going to be okay? Are we…”

Jon’s going to vomit; he can no longer hear Martha’s explanation of what’s happening due to the blood rushing through his veins and the paralyzing fear racing over the bond. The rooms spinning and he feels dizzy, sweaty…like he needs to lie down and just as the world spin on its side he feels Jacks arms surround him and drag him to a chair. Rose grabs his hand and he can see her mouth moving but still cant hear what she or anyone else is saying. Then it happens, he’d tried holding it back but the overwhelming fear that he’s going to lose her, lose them forces the bile from his gut and he slumps over coughing and choking and crying and begging any deity that will listen to make this stop.

That’s a little better he thinks as the world comes back to normal around him. The sound of Rose calling his name and her hand running through his hair forces his brain back to some semblance of reality and he tries to lift his eyes to hers. She’s so strong, his Rose. No one here would know how scared she is inside, how terrified she is that she’s going to lose their child and leave Jon alone again. He knows though…he always knows…can always hear her…can always see her…can always feel her and he pulls himself up. He can’t fall apart…he has to be strong too for her like she is for him.

“Even at 33 weeks everything should be fine, the baby may have to be in an incubator for a bit to help develop their lungs but really 98% of babies born at this stage have no lingering issues,” he hears Martha say once his senses have fully returned. “We’re going to try for a vaginal birth first, then if necessary we’ll move on to a C-section,” Martha states reassuringly.

“Right, yeah. These are common, women do this all the time,” Rose says trying to pull herself together. She doesn’t want to but she’s going to have to lock him out. Jon’s emotions are so strong right now and it’s suffocating her. She can’t think or breathe or move, the combination of their fear just too much for her still developing empathic ability. Rose shuts down the bond and for just one second everything is quiet – still and she can breathe.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Okay Martha, what do we do now? Right now what’s…what’s going to happen?” There…that sounded okay, right? Rose hopes.

There it is…that moment his Rose does the most amazing thing. Her eyes close, she breathes in and out and then it’s over. Whatever tempest was waging war on her earlier has been replaced with a sense of calmness and strength. He admires that ability in her, its something he still has not mastered. If he starts to spin out of control he is rarely able to pull himself back. It’s always her, the feel of her hand in his…the brush of her against his mind reminding him he’ll never be alone again. And just like that he can breathe and think cogently and tunes back into the conversation.

“So right now what we’re going to do is give you Pitocin through your IV and hopefully that will start your contractions,” Martha says confidently as she pushes the medicine. “I know you didn’t want to have an epidural but I strongly think you should reconsider. I’m going to step out for a bit, but if you start feeling anything just push that button and I’ll be right back in. Rose, everything’s going to be fine yeah. Just breathe and try to relax. The more anxious you are the harder the delivery will be,” Martha says gently.

Rose can feel that Martha really believes that, honestly thinks everything will work out fine, they’ll all be okay and it allows her to breathe a little more as she smiles at her friend. “Yeah, we’re going to be fine,” Rose says trying to convince herself and Jon.

Martha leaves the room and Jon immediately starts sliding into the bed with Rose. She slides over to make room and turns on her side so he can curl behind her.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly, grabbing his arm and entwining their finger over her stomach.

“It’s…I understand Rose…why you had to do it. I’m not going to say its fine but I do get it,” he says just as softly.

She blows out a long breath and says, “We still haven’t decided on a name. Maybe we should let Martha tell us what we’re having. I know you wanted it to be a surprise but…well maybe we should know ahead of time.”

He knows what the pause was saying, what it was screaming so silently. “In case it goes wrong, in case the baby doesn’t make it, in case I don’t make it” – she wants to know in case it all goes so horribly wrong.

“Yeah…alright,” he says trying to sound unaffected at the place her thoughts had gone. “Are you hoping for a boy or a girl,” he asks smiling just a bit too widely trying to lift some of the tension in the room.

“We’ve had this conversation so many times,” she says exasperatedly. “I told ya, I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl. I just want everythin’ and everyone to be okay yeah,” her accent coming on just a bit stronger with her irritation. “Where’s my mum? Shouldn’t she be here makin’ some sort of ruckus by now? Is everyone still sleepin’?”

“We didn’t want to wake everyone until we at least got settled in here. Martha’s out gathering everyone now,” Jon replies, his voice muffled from where his face is buried in her hair and neck.

“Oh, okay…well is there somethin’ I should be doin’ to move this along? I mean…um…should I walk around or somethin’? Don’t they show that in all the telly shows…women walking around the hospital trying to go into labor? Should I have the epidural? Oh God what if I don’t get it but then decide I want it but then its too late?” her voice climbing in pitch with each subsequent question.

“Rose, love…look at me,” he says trying to turn her so they can see each other. Once she settles and turns her eyes to his he continues. “We have this all planned out Rose, none of this is anything to panic about. We have contingency upon contingency prepared. Martha is a great doctor and has done this same surgery many times. Also, we’re not even sure you’re going t need it.”

He sees her eyes narrow at him and he knows he’s said something wrong. “I’m sorry but wasn’t that you…not but an hour ago sickin’ up your fuckin’ toenails all over the fuckin’ floor?” she roars at him.

“Right…yes…yes it was,” he stammers, “But that the initial shock. We know what we’re doing and everything is going to be fine Rose Tyler,” and still the way he says her name causes a shiver to run down her spine.

“Uh…I think maybe…unghh,” she trails off with a groan of pain.

Jon doesn’t even ask, he just presses the call button and a moment later Martha comes calmly into the room followed by a clearly frustrated Jackie. “Rose, oh Rose how ya feelin’ baby girl?” Jackie asks in an overly sweet voice.

The pain finally subsiding Rose opens her eyes and takes in a breath. “Uh…Martha, about that epidural. I think I’ve reconsidered,” Rose says sheepishly.

“Yeah, I though you might,” Martha says smirking. “Okay what I need you to do is turn on whichever side your most comfortable on. Now Jon, go around the other side and hold her hands while I give her the epidural.”

Jon’s eyes about fall out of his head at the sight of the needle going into Roses back. For a fraction of a second he thinks he’s going to vomit on Rose…again, but he swallows it down and then its done. The needle is gone and Rose is turning on her back and making graspy motions at him to help her up. She’s adorable and he smiles as he reaches for her, helping her into a sitting position and Martha starts looking over the contraction monitor.

“Well the epidural must be working because you just processed through another contraction. So that’s what? About 3 minuets between yeah?” Martha asks Jon.

“Just under 3 minutes,” he replies clutching Rose’s has so tight she may lose circulation.

After that it’s a dizzying array of information and instructions from Martha. 6 hours of Rose crying silently while pushing through contractions, a bit of blood and some disgusting white stuff that looks like cottage cheese and he’s cutting the umbilical cord on their daughter. They have a daughter…him and Rose they made her. They were going to ask Martha but then Roses’ contractions started and there wasn’t time and now they know because she’s here and Martha is handing her to Rose. Clean, and swaddled and tiny and perfect and OH MY GODS I have a daughter he thinks as he leans over Rose to look at her. Rose is crying and he knows there are tears making tracks down his face but he never thought he’d have this…ever. Jon leans down and places a kiss to the top of Roses head, “I love you Rose, so much. Thank you for giving me this,” he whispers while he runs his finger along their daughters’ cheek.

“Okay, I know this part sucks but we really need to get her into the incubator and start checking her out,” Martha states while reaching to take the baby from Roses arms.

Rose hands her over reluctantly and places a kiss on her head, “But she’ll be okay yeah? I mean you said she was far enough along to be okay right?” she asks hesitantly, terrified that Martha will tell them something else now that she’s here.

“Well let’s get the pediatrician in here to look her over while I finish up with you yeah? Then we’ll know for sure,” Martha states.

Dr. Coleman is a sweet woman in her mid 40’s. She was chosen by Rose and Jon as their child’s doctor when Martha made it very clear that she was not a pediatrician and would not be overseeing a premature baby no matter how much Jon had faith in her. As the doctor sweeps into the room and reaches for their daughter from Martha there is a flurry of activity beginning.

The baby goes straight into an incubator and only now does Rose realize how tiny their daughter is. The doctor and her nurse are checking her weight, size and breathing. Rose sends Jon to hover about the pediatrician while Martha finishes with her. After birth, checking for tearing and the cleanup of delivering a child takes just a few minutes and the next thing either Rose or Jon know they are completely alone except for Dr. Coleman and Martha.

“Right, no point in draggin’ this out any longer than needed,” Dr. Coleman begins, “The baby will have to be in the NICU, or the version of it we have set up here anyways for at least a few weeks, until she can breathe properly on her own. After my initial exam I’m not findin’ any issues that jump out at me beyond her lungs. She may have some trouble latchin’ on when ya try to nurse her, but we’ll get that sorted if it happens. Now, I know ya have a room set up right next to hers, so unless ya have any questions for me, I’ll be heading up to check on your daughter,” she smiles at them both.

“But she’s okay right…I mean…right now there’s not really anything we need to be worried about? She’s early and a bit small but she’s okay yeah? I mean she’s not too small or nothin’? Or um…her hearts good? I mean its beating right and all? Some of the books I’ve real said that even this far along there could be…”

“I promise you Rose,” Doctor Coleman interrupts, “She’s going to be wonderful. I should have told you earlier but we got to talkin’ and I spaced it off. Your daughter is 4pound 9ounces and 16 ¼ inches long. She can open her eyes, has all her fingers and toes. Honestly, if it weren’t for the breathin’ issue she’d had a 10 for her Apgar. Any other questions before I go?” Receiving only head nods in response Dr. Coleman smiles and closes the door behind her.

She feels as if she’s a step out of time from everyone else…like she’s just a bit slower than the rest of the world. For a moment her vertigo is so intense she vomits. It happens so fast she couldn’t even try to stop it. Then everything around her is in motion again and she knows people are yelling about something but she can’t hear anything. It feels like she’s in a bubble and she’s trying to move but the air feels thick like moving through honey.

When she starts coming to again her head is pounding and her mouth feels like the Sahara desert. She doesn’t remember falling asleep. In fact the last thing she does remember is Dr. Coleman telling her the baby was fine. Slowly she opens her eyes and Jon’s pale face comes swimming into view like a balloon and she can’t help but smile and giggle a little at the sight.

“Rose? Fuck you scared the shit out of me!” He tried to not scream but it still came out louder than he wanted.

Immediately she opens her side of the bond back up and is submerged in Jon. “I’m sorry I scared you, what…what happened?” She asks softly. “Is she…is the baby…” she cant finish and tries not choking on the sobs she’s trying desperately to keep hidden.

Jon grabs her face in his hands and forces her eyes to his, “Rose breathe with me. In…out, in…out. You have to breath love,” he says putting his forehead to hers. “She’s perfect, wonderful…tiny but wonderful. I promise she’s fine and once you calm down we can bring her in okay. So please love, breathe.”

She starts matching her breaths to his and soon her heart rate calms and the blood rushing through her veins slows and her brain starts to function properly again. “Stupid, stupid, STUPID Fucking Rose brain!” She’d had a panic attack?! Right after she had her daughter she had lost her shit so badly that she passed out?! “How can I do this? I cant be a mum, what the fuck were we thinking, oh my gods I can’t even give birth properly…”

Just as she starts to fall down the rabbit hole she feels Jon’s lips on hers and her mind goes blissfully blank for one perfect second. That’s all she needs…one second to catch back up with the rest of the world. One second turns to two and two to three until she’s calm once again and she sags against him.

“I’m sorry,” she cries softy, “I cant seem…” she trails off and closes her eyes pulling away from him.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out. Deep breath in, deep breath out) It isn’t working, why isn’t it fucking working?!

“Just let go Rose. Quit trying to pretend you’re fine. It’s only me here. No one will know Rose. Please just trust me,” he pleads.

That’s when the dam breaks, because she does trust him and the thought that she made him doubt that…and she sobs as he holds her tightly to his chest. She screams, and she squirms in his arms and when she breaks free she pushes at him. Jon doesn’t flinch, doesn’t blink and pulls her thrashing form back against his chest and holds her tightly until she’s spent. Until her screams are reduced to whimpers and sniffles and her limbs feel like jelly.

“You don’t have to be perfect Rose, not for me. You’re allowed to be scared and angry and anything else but you have to share that with me love. This isn’t something I can or want to go through without you Rose. Please don’t shut me out okay? Its weird being on this end of the breakdown,” he says smirking at her, trying to lighten the heavy mood.

She cant help it, she smiles at him, “Yeah, m’not a fan of this side either ya know.”

“Are you feeling better now,” he asks smirking, knowing it was his kiss that calmed her down.

“You think you’re so impressive,” she says with her tongue barely sticking out of her teeth.

Its been so long since he’s seen that smile and warmth spreads from his core throughout his body at the sight if it. He leans in and kisses her again, softly, reverently. “I am so impressive,” he responds and he sighs, “Are you ready to meet our daughter,” he whispers against her lips, hands cradling her face to his.

Her breath catches for a moment, “Yes…yeah. Do you need to call someone to get her?” She asks hesitantly.

“Why are you so nervous love? You’ll be a brilliant mum Rose,” he says smiling at her.

“No, I…Its not that. I just…I’m not ready to see anyone else yet. My mum…she’s likely freakin’ out and I jus’ don’t wanna deal with that right now yeah. Does that make me horrible?” Rose says timidly, as if she fears he’ll say yes.

Which is ridiculous he thinks, because to him she is perfect and nothing would ever change that. How is it after everything they’ve been through she can still feel insecure about his love for her?

“No, of course not, but Martha will have to come in. She needs to give you a once over now that you’re awake. Other than that, it’ll be just you me and our daughter,” he says bewildered, “Rose, we have a daughter. A little tiny, and she is tiny, girl.”

His smile his huge and sparkling and so sappy that it bring tears to her eyes. “We still have to name her,” Rose states brightly. “Have you narrowed your list to one name?”  
“Wellll…” he starts drawing out the word, “I was thinking we should meet her first, maybe get to know her a bit. She’ll let us know what her name is I think. I’ll go grab her shall I? I’ll send Martha in as well,” he says leaning down and placing his lips to her gently for a brief moment before heading out f the room.

Martha enters just after Jon walks out and gives her an exam. “It’s been so long since I’ve had a panic attack like that,” Rose tells her friend/doctor.

“It shouldn’t be something you focus on Rose. You’ve had so much going on lately an in such a short amount of time,” Martha says reassuringly. I mean come on, you met Jon, fell in love, found out you have mystical powers, became pregnant, found out your boyfriend was a missing Prince about to be King, you were attacked by your fiancé’s kind of brother, became married and a Queen as well as having a difficult pregnancy…all the while dealing with hordes of people, not to mention your family and friends all over you all the time. All of this in just 8 months; honestly, I’m surprised it took you this long, I’d have gone barmy months ago in your shoes.”

“Gods, when you say it like that I sound like an East Enders episode,” and she cant help but laugh at how insane her life sounds summed up like that.

Just as Martha finishes her exam Jon comes back into the room pushing a portable incubator. “I’ll just step out and give you some time together,” Martha says leaving the room.

“We can’t take her out, but you can slide your hands in here so you can touch her. I’m sure now that you’re up and hopefully feeling better Dr. Coleman will be wanting you to nurse soon,” he says softly, watching His Rose as their daughter wraps her tiny fist around Roses finger. He’s overcome once again with how lucky he is to have found her. Now she’s given him a daughter and he hopes she’ll have Roses smile and eyes. “So…has she told you her name yet love?” He asks after an indeterminable amount of time and that alone tells him how badly he needs to sleep. He always knows the time, or how long it’s been when he’s caught up in something. The fact that he has no idea if its been 10 minutes or 10 hours that he’s been watching his wife and daughter is mildly disturbing, but he pushes it way…he just needs sleep.

“Keera-Aislin Katherine Ardis,” Rose says with certainty. She watches her daughter with large brown eyes and wonders if she knows her, wonders if she can recognize her from all that time she spent inside of Rose.

“That’s lovely Rose. It wasn’t even on our list. When did you come up with that?” Jon asks a little shocked at her choice. It’s lovely but in a hauntingly beautiful way, like a tragic opera he thinks. Dark Dream…his daughter’s name translates to Dark Dream and he wonders why Rose chose it. Her middle name is of course after his mother and he feels a warm rush of emotion for his wife.

“Just now,” she says, “It just feels right ya know, like that was always going to be her name,” and to Jon she looks wistful as she gazes at their daughter - Keera-Aislin.

Jon ambles over to her bed, sits next to Rose and wraps his arm around her waist pulling her closer to him. He lays a kiss on her temple and her emotions wash over him once more. It’s almost euphoric, a kind of high no drug could ever provide he thinks. When she’s happy and she allows him to experience that, its wonderful and just like everything else about Rose Tyler – incredibly addicting. It’s just dawning on him now that he’ll not be able to make love to his wife for quite a while. Wellll…they’ll probably be so tired they wont have the energy to miss sex he thinks laughing to himself.

Rose pulls her hands from the incubator and lays back into the pillows. “I’m so tired,” she mumbles and then yawns.

Jon crawls in bed next to her and folds himself around His Rose. “Go to sleep for a bit love. I’ll wake you when its time to feed Keera-Aislin,” he says placing a kiss to her neck and closing his eyes as well. It doesn’t take long for her breathing to even out and soon he knows she asleep. Once he’s certain she’s asleep he brushes is consciousness against hers…lightly…just to check. He needs the reassurance after today that she’s as okay as she says she is.

Jon’s not going to lie to himself, seeing her like that today…unable to pull herself together…it scared the shit out of him. He’d never seen His Rose like that. She has always been the strong one, the one to fix him and pull him back from the brink of bat-shit crazy. She seems alright now though as he pulls back from her mind. Maybe just a few minutes of sleep before the doctors come back and Keera-Aislin wakes up he thinks as he closes his eyes and breathes the scent of Rose in.

When Jon wakes up he’s alone in the bed and he searches the bong for his wife. He hears a small giggle form the other side of the room and turns his head toward the sound.

“You don’t have to use the bond to find me…you could have just opened your eyes,” she says smiling at him. She’s obviously showered and changed into clean clothes and as he rubs the bleariness from his eyes he sees that she’s nursing their daughter.

“Why didn’t you wake me? I wanted to bet here the first time you nursed her,” he says in a grumpy voice with a slight pout of his bottom lip.

“Why? You worried I’m such a waste and worthless smother that I cant even feed our own child?” She snaps harshly back at him.

“Uh…no. Where did that come from?” he says back trying to keep his voice neutral.

“Gods, I’m sorry,” she says sniffling. “She’s just so small and I can only hold her for a few minutes at a time because I couldn’t manage to keep her in me long enough. Now she’s sick and we don’t even know what’s going to happen if she gets bigger. I mean what if…what if she has brain damage or somethin’ cuz’ I couldn’t…” and she trails off into sobs again.

He’s moving slowly towards her like she’s a scared animal. When he finally reaches her he slides behind her on the couch, lays his head on her shoulder and wraps her his around her so that he can hold her and Keera at the same time. “That’s just shit,’ he says softly kissing her neck. “Complete and utter shit and I don’t know if it’s your hormones or if for some reason you’re letting that voice in your head get to you, but you are going to be a wonderful mum. Going into labor early had nothing to do with you and everything to do with what you’ve already survived Rose. Besides she’s fine and will be able to be out of the incubator soon.”

She’s still stifling her tears so he decides to change the topic, “Have you chosen a nanny yet?” he asks

“No, are you in a hurry for me to do that? You think I can’t do it. That I have to have someone to take care of our daughter for me,” she screeches her voice rising in pitch. “Women have been raising their own children for millennia Jon, I’m sure I’m capable of breast feedin’, changin’ a nappy and getting her in and out of that fuckin’ incubator yeah!?” She snipes at him as she stands up and moves her and Keera away from him.

“Fine, you know what Rose. It seems like you just want to be angry with me and I have no idea why or what I’ve done, but if you want to yell and scream at me then let’s put Keera in her bed and have it out,” he snaps back at her harshly. “You know what would be really fucking brilliant to assist with that?” he snaps he loudly, “A GOD DAMNED FUCKING NANNY!”

He doesn’t want to be yelling, but her rage races across the bond to him and he can’t seem to help himself. She’s crying in earnest now and for the first time since the day after he found her, he doesn’t feel like he can go to her. He feels as if she wouldn’t welcome his comfort and that makes him feel sick and sad…and hurt. So he lashes out “You know what, I’m just…I’m going to leave. It’s clear you don’t want me here. Whenever you decide to fill me in on what’s causing you to be such a fucking bitch you let me know Rose. This isn’t just happening to you yeah? I’m here too! She’s my daughter too!”

It’s when he turns around to walk out of the room that he sees Jackie and Amy standing right behind him. He knows from the look on Jackie’s face that if she weren’t rushing over to her crying daughter he’d have felt that Tyler slap. As it is Amy is now dragging him out of the room by his arm. “What the hell do you think you’re doin’ yellin’ at her like that?” Amy growls at him once the door is shut.

“Me? She started it. I didn’t do anything and I’m trying to help her…she won’t let me. Rose just started yelling at me as soon as I woke up!” He replies bitterly.

“Well of course she did!” Amy says smacking the back of his head, “Men are so thick, she’s scared Jon. Christ it’s been like 4 hours since she and your child almost died. Add that to all her hormonal issues plus all of her bullshit from Jimmy and you can’t put together why she’s maybe a little cranky? You’re supposed to be a fuckin genius and if you can t put it together with your 180,000,000 IQ try the fucking bond! Isn’t that what it’s for?”

Before he can respond Jackie steps from the room and Amy retreats to be with Rose. “Keera’s beautiful Jon. She looks a lot like you right now I think,” and she smiles at him, tries to let him know she’s not going to slap him.

“Yeah, I’m a lucky man,” he says honestly. “Even with Rose mad at me I’m so, so, lucky. I just wish she’d talk to me, tell me she’s so upset with me. Did she say anything to you?” he asks hopefully.

“Nothin’ that I could understan’,” she says with a wry smile, “But I now what’s goin’ on. I can tell ya if ya want.”

“Of course I want that,” he stammers, “What did I do Jackie?”

“Jon, love…it has nothin’ to do with you. Really you should be pleased as punch that she’s yellin’ at ya,” Jackie tells him kindly as she rubs her hand up and down his back soothingly.

 

“What?” he squeaks. “Seeing Rose upset, being the reason she’s upset…that will never please me Jackie.”

“It just means she trusts ya. Rose doesn’t understand why she’s so angry right now anymore than you do. She just knows she needs to get it out so she’s lashin’ out at ya. This Sonny-Jim is marriage,” Jackie laughs.

“Right…so she’s scared and angry and because she trusts me she’s mad at me? That makes absolutely no sense Jackie,” he scoffs.

‘It makes perfect sense ya dumbo,” Donna sighs from behind him.

“Oh Donna, thank Gods you’re here,” he says as he grabs her shoulders and point her in the direction of the door to His Rose. “You need to fix this…her. Rose she’s gone barmy and she’s…”

Before he can finish his sentence he feels Donna smack him, “OWWWW…Why the FUCK is everyone hittin’ me?!” Jon grumbles rubbing the back of his head.

“Because you’re bein’ a fuckin’ idiot. She’s scared, angry and full of guilt right now and you’re the one person she can be mean to and she knows you’ll still love her,” Donna says crossly, “Now get your skinny arse in there and let your wife be a miserable cow!” She says pushing him to the door.

Jon slowly enters the room and Amy glowers at him as she hugs Rose and whispers something to her before she leaving the room, pinching Jon hard on his arm as she passes by him.

He stands a good distance from Rose and watches as she places Keera-Aislin back into her bed and pulls her shirt back down over her breast. She sighs and tries to lift her eyes to him but she’s so ashamed of her behavior that she cannot manage it. He can feel her across their bond and how sad she is and he wants nothing more than to hold her. He’s scared and overwhelmed as well and he needs her.

“Did she have any issues nursing?” He asks because he feels its safe.  
“Um…no, not really. She’s just so small though; she can’t stay out of the incubator for too long. I think I’m going to need to get a breast pump…and figure where to get and how to sue a breast pump,” she say still not making eye contact.  
He doesn’t really know what to say to that. At this point he doesn’t know what’s going to set her off or not and she seems okay right now so he’s scared of pushing it. “Did Jackie and Amy get to hold her?” He asks, trying to keep the focus on Keera.

“Yeah, everyone’s had their turn. They all came in while you were sleepin’. Um…Dr. Coleman came by as well. She says that Keera may only be in the incubator for a week or so, her lungs are already pretty strong,” Rose says while slowly making her way over to him. “We’re gonna be okay, yeah? You and me?”

He can feel how worried she is about his response and he sighs, “Rose, I’m not going to leave you just because you’ve yelled at. Where is this coming from,” Jon asks while he reaches for her and pulls her into his chest. Finally he can breathe again. He thinks they’re both just strung out, they need to sleep and a proper meal. They’ll have to make sure to take care of themselves better now…for Keera.

“I just…I…it’s my fault. She was born too early because my body failed her, and my body failed her because I was too stupid to leave Jimmy sooner and now our baby’s sick…cuz of me. Part of me is crushed under the guilt of that but the other part of me is so fuckin’ angry. I’m mad at Jimmy for bein’ such a sick bastard and I’m mad at Martha – she’s a fuckin’ doctor for Christ’s sake. She shoulda’ been able to stop my labor. And I’m furious with…with…you. You’re always runnin’ that fuckin’ mouth about how fuckin’ smart you, a proper fuckin’ genius yeah? And you couldn’t stop this from happenin’ to her. What happens if there is somethin’ wrong with her? What do I say to her when she’s older and kids are mean to her cuz she’s different…what if I…” she breaks down unable to continue, but he pushes her.

“What if you what love?” he asks gently, “What is it Rose? What are you so afraid to say? You can say anything…do anything Rose. I will always love you, how can you doubt that?” he says to her sadly, the hurt clear not just from the bond but also in the despair she finds in his voice.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out). “What if I’ve broken her,” she whispers, “What if I’ve ruined her life because I was too scared or stupid to get out sooner. She’s going to pay the price for what I’ve done Jon. When she gets older and kids are mean because she different – she’ll hate me.”

Rose may as well have hit him in his balls with a bat for the way his breath leaves his body. Instead of simply reacting, he pulls her closer and forces himself to remember that he’s a selfish prick and this isn’t about him.

“She will never hate you. No one ever hates you,” he says lightly,” “You’re worrying about something that hasn’t happened, not only that…we have no reason to believe that she’ll be anything but brilliant and perfect.” He pulls her tighter to him and buries his face in his hair and inhales. “Rose Tyler…these are the first hours of our daughters life and your missing it. You’re so focused on what may happen sometime in the far future. Her life, our lives are happening now and if you don’t find some way to get past this you’re going to regret missing this for the rest of our lives. Please, please come back to us yeah,” and he pulls back so he can see her.

“Yeah, you don’t think I know that? I know I sound insane Jon…I’m not stupid. This right now…I hate this. I don’t want to be talkin’ to you like this but I’m just so fuckin bloody shit and hell pissed!”  
“Okay,” he says simply.  
“Okay? What? This…is not okay Jon,” she says weakly.  
“It is though Rose, every now and again it is okay to freak out. You just have to come back from it, don’t get pulled down the current. Also I want you to remember this the next time I freak out,” he smiles at her, “the bit where I’m being so wonderful about you being a,” he stops to reconsider what he was going to say, “a…um tired and wonderful, emotional woman.”

“Right…emotional,” and she smiles a little as she sighs, “Okay…I think ready to adult again. I’m so tired now and kinda hungry. Do ya think Martha will give me some pain medicine? I’m really starting’ to get sore.”

As he listens to Rose start talking about dinner and how she’s really hungry and if Martha will let her have chips; he realizes this is Rose moving past whatever the hell the last few hours had been. Its been recognized and now its time to move the fuck on, and he’s reminded once again why he is so very much in love with her.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I own none of these characters...sadly they all belong to the BBC. Hope you enjoy the update!  
> No Beta - All mistakes are my own. Feel free to comment. If you find typos or other errors feel free to let me know that as well! Thanks for reading.

“You do realize you have me to thank for this right,” Amy says to Jon smirking. “You wouldn’t have any of this if it weren’t for me teasing Rose about you.”

Jon holds Keera-Aislin against his chest gently rocking back and forth. “Now may not be the time to remind me of that,” Jon says groaning in frustration, “Why wont she sleep? She’s been out of the hospital 6 weeks now, shouldn’t she be sleeping?”

“Here, give her to me for a bit and take a nap; you look like shite. And Christ you stink! Maybe that’s why my niece refuses to stop crying. If I had to be cuddled with you smelling like that I’d scream too,” Amy laughs reaching for the baby. “Go take a shower and then get some sleep. I’ll keep Keera for a bit. What time is Rose supposed to be back?”

“I didn’t ask,” Jon sighs, “She’s at her 6 week checkup with Martha.”

“Shouldn’t that have been 2 weeks ago?” Amy asks.

“Yeah, she said she was too tired from interviewing nannies and being up every two hours with Keera- Aislin. Honestly though, I think she’s scared Martha’s going to tell her she’s all healed up,” Jon replies yawning so hard that she can hear his jaw pop from across the room and over Keera’s crying.

“Why would she be worried about…Oh, you mean all healed up and ready for sexy times,” she teases, “Does she not want to have sex? Because literally up until the day she gave birth you two were all over each other.”

“Well not quite, we couldn’t have intercourse for quite a while before Keera-Aislin was born because of the pregnancy issues and I think she’s worried about starting back up. Why am I talking to you about this,” Jon mumbles as he walks away, “I’m going to shower. Thanks you for watching Keera-Aislin for a bit.”

“You’re poor mummy and daddy,” Amy coos, “What’s all the fuss about little one?” Amy starts humming while patting Keera on the back and rocking back and forth trying to soothe the poor screaming baby.

He’s not even going to try and pretend that he isn’t eagerly anticipating the outcome of this appointment. It has been so long since he’s been able to make love to Rose. She was only 5 months pregnant when Martha told them that intercourse was now off the table. Sure, they’d still fooled around a bit and Rose always made sure he was sated but the connection was just not the same. Also, he misses making sure Rose is…cared for, misses watching her fall apart below him…or above him…beside him…he’s not really all that picky. Gods, he misses that look on her face and how just as she’d crest in her climax her eyes would open and he knew she could see him…all of him. He’d never felt that kind of peace and contentment until Rose gave him that look and he misses her desperately.

Jon steps under the falling water and lets it wash away the sweat and grime and baby yuck that’s sticking to him. To be fair neither he nor Rose has felt much like being imitate lately. He wishes she would pick a nanny already. Sure, millions of people raise babies without help but those people aren’t expected to run a country and lead a worldwide manhunt for traitors. Oh, lets not forget that Harrys fucking wife is still in their home which is a constant source of worry for Rose. Still unsure of Lucy’s motives Rose has asked several times if they could move her somewhere else, a care facility or something.

He has refused though because he’s certain that Harry will resurface for her; either because he knows she betrayed him and he wants revenge or because she didn’t betray him and he wants his property back. His thoughts are straying and he pulls himself back to the topic at hand. Rose needs to pick a fucking nanny. Jon sat in with her for the first few weeks of interviews and there were several people who had applied and been vetted that he thought were perfect. Rose however said she wasn’t comfortable leaving Keera-Aislin with any of them.

_“What if Harry or Davros sent them,” Rose asked, “How am I supposed to be able to tell who’s good and who’s bad?”_

He eventually stopped sitting in on the interviews when it became apparent that no matter how many qualified people showed up, Rose was not going to hire any of them. So, Jon spent the last three weeks trying to find an answer to his dilemma. He needed Rose…not just for sex but to help with the everyday process of running this fucking country. She’s supposed to be helping him and she’s pushed all of her duties off on Susan or other council members stating that she was exhausted and Keera-Aislin needed her. They’d made it through the first few days after Keera-Aislin was born but Rose was a mess, crying and screaming or just blanking out entirely.

Martha had assured both of them that it would take a few weeks for her hormones to level out and by the time Keera-Aislin was out of the incubator her moods had leveled out substantially. Jon watched her very closely those first few days and for the 2 weeks after but eventually he had to get back to the business of running the country. Now he relied on Amy to keep a watchful but discreet eye on Rose.

Donna and Lee, Jack and Ianto, Clara and Matt and Jackie had all returned to London; they had lives back there that could not be ignored any longer. Jon had offered Martha a position as physician to the crown and at first she had declined. However, once she went back to London and spoke with her fiancé Tom everything had changed. He told her she should take the job. She shouldn’t base her decision on him because he wasn’t going to base his career decisions on her. A row later, a thrown ring and his rucksack out the door and Martha had given notice and called Jon to accept his offer. A few short weeks in the castle and then she had her own little house in the city and was ready to start her new life.

 

With Martha staying on and opening her own small practice it just made sense for Rory to stay on as well. It wasn’t as if he or Amy had family waiting for them in London. Their family was here and Rose insisted they stay in the castle with them rather than finding their own house in the city. That was more than okay with Jon, the more of ‘their people’ that were around the more Rose relaxed. That’s what he needed to do…Gods for a genius he can be so incredibly thick sometimes. Rose refuses to hire a nanny because they cant know with 100% certainty that they can be trusted with their daughter. She had become extremely protective of Keera-Aislin refused to let anyone but Jon, Amy, Rory and Martha hold her. So he needed to get someone she trusted implicitly who was good with kids. He needed Clara. This is why he loves showers he thinks, all of his best ideas happen in the shower.

 

Jon steps out and dries himself before pulling on his dressing gown and pushing the call button that will notify Toby he’s needed. He steps over to the bed and examines his sleeping wife. Rose must have come back from her appointment while he was showering. She looks wrecked…pale and slightly gaunt…which now that he’s thinking about it…she seems very small for a woman that gave birth 8 weeks ago. He sometimes misses when the bond was new, when he would just know what she was thinking and feeling without even trying. Eight months in and the bond is more like background noise. Amy and Matt had told them it would calm down over time and it had definitely done so. No more colors or sickness, no overwhelming emotional tidal wave from either side. He could still feel her but she had become more of a subtle constant presence...almost like his conscience. For day-to-day living that was great, but times like this he missed when it was out of control. Really taking the time to look at his wife he can’t believe he let it get his bad. How has he not noticed? Thank the Gods Jackie is back in London, Jon can’t even imagine the slapping he’d get of she were to look at Rose now.

_“Maybe she has postpartum depression or more likely, I’m a selfish wanker too wrapped up in being a dad and this country to have noticed how ill my wife looks he thinks to himself.”_ Slowly he slides in bed next to her and folds himself around his Rose. She begins to stir in his arms and he can tell she’s awake now by her breathing.

 

“Where’s Keera?” she asks almost frantically, struggling to get out of bed.

 

“She’s with Amy. Come back to bed with me Love,” he says, softly tugging her back towards him.

 

“ I should go get her, she’s not Amy’s responsibility,” she says trying again to squirm away from him. That’s when he realizes it has nothing to so with Keera-Aislin, his Rose is trying to get way from him and using their daughter as an excuse to do so…and he’s had enough.

 

“No, you’re going to come back to bed and tell me what the hell is going on Rose. You’ve been avoiding me like I have the fucking bubonic plague and using Keera-Aislin to do it,” he says, his tone authoritative.

 

Rose doesn’t want to row, doesn’t want to do this because he’s right and she knows it. Yes, she hasn’t hired a nanny yet and yes that is largely in part because she’s in constant feat that whomever she hires will be some kind of Harold or Davros sycophant. She cannot deny that she’s been avoiding him though. Rose isn’t completely sure why either and that amazingly frustrating for her. “Jon, do we have to do this now? I’m so tired and I don’t wanna fight with ya,” she sighs, not making any attempt to move back towards him.

“Again…No,” he says crossly, “Rose, please tell me what’s going on or what he hell I’ve done to piss you off because I can’t take this anymore. You’re so distant and it’s killing me. I miss you, us…I miss us.”

 

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “I’m scared all the time Jon. Scared that they’re going to come for Keera or that they a re going to take you away from me and I can’t make it stop Jon. I can’t eat or sleep and I’m a fucking mess all of the time. Keera just keeps crying’ no matter what I do. She hates me and I’m a shite mom just like I said Id be, and I miss my mum. I know that’s crazy because I just got her back but I miss her and Jack and Clara. They were my family before you found me and I miss them all of the time. And then, there’s the bond, its like it isn’t workin’ right or somethin’, sometimes I cant feel you at all and I think you’ve locked me out but I know…I KNOW you wouldn’t do that. Lucy Saxon is still here and in a fuckin’ coma and you keep sayin’ that Harry’s gonna come for her…Well I don’t want him to fuckin come here. Our daughter is here and you keepin’ Lucy here is like an invite for these sadistic arseholes to take her and do Gods only knows what. Look what Davros did to you! Or Harry to me…how am I supposed to just calm down when they are always there lurking?! And you don’t seem to give two fucks that they’re out there just waiting to take our daughter or kill me to hurt you and sometimes…” she trails off not finishing her rant.

“Sometime what Rose? Say it…whatever it is just fucking say it. When did you become this person who hides from me…ME?! Weren’t those your rules when we started this? Whatever the issue we just need to say it. Once it’s out there it can be dealt with and we can move the fuck on. So just fucking say it,” he snaps harshly at her.

“Fine…Sometimes I wish,” (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Sometimes I wish you’d never took my hand and run away with me,” she lowers her eyes, cant look at him once she’s said it because she knows its terrible…she’s terrible.

He’s not shocked by her admission, not even fazed really other than he wishes she’d have said this so much sooner. Jon sighs as he rolls from the bed and ambles over to his wife. He stands behind her and wraps her in his arms with is chin resting on her shoulder. “It’s okay Rose…to feel like that. Overwhelmed and scared and frantic,” he whispers against her neck, “I feel like that too occasionally, but its all just thoughts. Do you really wish you weren’t with Keera-Aislin and me? Or is it just something that crawls into you when this life, our life becomes too much? You miss our family…of course you do. We can go visit yeah, or have them come back here to visit. But Rose, you look…awful. I love you but you’ve lost too much weight and you’re so pale. What did Martha say at you checkup?”

She’s not sure how he managed it but somehow he’s gotten all her clothes off save for her knickers. It’s the feel of his skin against hers and the electricity that always sparks when they touch that begins to calm her. “I’ve lost too much weight and I’m not eating or sleeping enough. I need to drink more water and she thinks that maybe I need to see a shrink for my stupid fuckin’ Rose brain. Fuck…why cant I just get my shit together?” she says while tears run down her cheeks. She’s missed him so much, missed his calming touch and the way he can make everything but them disappear.

“And what do you think my Rose? What do you think you need to be okay again?” Jon asks as he runs his hands down her sides and his lips across her back from one shoulder to the other. He’s missed her so fucking much and being so close now the bond has kicked in and he can feel how much she wants him and he pushes his own arousal through the bond.

The force of it makes Rose gasp and Jon Lifts her too thin and frail body to the bed. He lays her down and covers her body with his, “Did Martha say this was alright?” he whispers against her skin. Please, please let this be okay he thinks as he makes his way down her body. He feels Rose tense beneath him and he sighs again. Jon lays his head on her once again flat stomach, “Rose, why don’t you want me touching you? I know you want me…this. I can feel it…you, so what’s holding you back? Have I done something?” he asks dejectedly.

“It’s just…my…my body is different now. It feels strange and…I have these stretch marks in addition to the already awful scars and I’m just…I mean how can ya wanna shag me when I look like this? My stomachs flabby and…”

He’s rubbish, a selfish prick of a husband. This whole time he thought Rose was avoiding being with him or close to him because of…well him. It hadn’t even occurred to him that she would feel like that about herself because to him she is always, always perfect…in every way. To be honest he doesn’t even see the scars or the stretch marks when he looks at her.

“I don’t care about any of that Rose and I miss you…miss us. You’re more beautiful now than when I first saw you. I know you think those things make you less but that’s untrue. Every mark you have on your body whether from an accident as a child,” he says placing a kiss to her knee where there’s a scar from falling off her bike at 5 years old, “or from Jimmy,” and he places kisses to as many of those scars as he can reach from this position, “or from giving me a daughter,” and he trails his fingers behind his lips over her stomach where the stretch marks are most prominent, “All of them make you beautiful. They are a road map of how you became who you are Rose and I love who you are. Every inch of skin and every tiny imperfection makes you perfect for me,” he says before covering her mouth with his. Just before she cards her fingers through his hair, he thinks Martha must have given her the all clear as she’s made no attempt to stop him.

It’s only a moment later that she allows the bond to open fully and suddenly he’s awash in everything Rose. The emotional tidal wave he’d been mourning rushes through him and over him dragging him under in the most wonderful of ways. She runs her hands through his hair and down his back, her short nails barely scratching at his skin and he can feel how desperate she is for him to touch her. Jon wastes little time in kissing and nipping his way down her body until he’s lying between her legs and he uses his hands to spread her open before him.

Her breathing starts coming in pants as her anticipation rises and he leans forward bumping her clit with is nose and running his tongue along her slit. Her taste explodes through his mouth and he can’t help but release a small groan at how wonderful she tastes. How could he have forgotten that? One hand makes its way to her breast while the other slowly circles her opening and when her hand clenches in his hair he pushes one finger through her wetness and then inside of her. He wants to skip the foreplay (as much as he enjoys it) and plunge himself into his wife until they are both sweaty and sated and happy again, but its been so long since they’ve made love and he doesn’t want to hurt her.

Rose begins squirming and thrusting against his mouth and hand and he can feel she’s close to falling. Jon slips another finger into her trying to stretch her just a bit more and she groans with the additional stimulation pulling at his hair and tugging him up her body until…there…right there. As he slides into Rose he opens his

side of the bond fully as well and its pure bliss. The feeling of being inside her body and mind at he same time…this is exactly what they needed.

As the push and pull of their bodies become frantic against each other Jon reaches down and rubs at her clit with furious motions, “Rose…Rose love…I’m close, please cum, cum for me my Rose,” he growls and bites down on her neck and shoulder at her pulse point and there…right there. He feels her muscles grip his length and she falls over the edge thrashing and screaming and crying and pulling his hair so fucking hard he may have a bald spot…and he doesn’t give a fuck at all because it her and its him and he’s missed this so much, loves her so much and when she says it, “I love you too Jon, so much,” he can’t hold back any longer. With a loud groan and a cry of her name he stills above her when his climax violently tears through him as spills into Rose.

“I’ve missed ya so much Jon,” she whispers against his hair when he falls atop her and he knows she’s crying, can hear it in her voice. It’s the kind of crying one does when they feel guilt or shame.

“And I you my love,” he whispers against her neck placing small light kisses to whatever skin he can reach without moving.

“It’s been…it’s like the whole world’s off kilter just a bit yeah? Since havin’ Keera I’ve jus’ been scared of everythin’ all the time and I didn’t think you’d want me now, cuz I’m fuckin crazy again and my body…it doesn’t feel like its mine. And I think she hates me Jon,” Rose says so quietly he’s not sure he heard her correctly.

“What?” He asks bringing his head up so he can see her face.

“All she does is cry no matter what I do. I don’t think she likes me,” Rose says, crying in earnest now.

“Oh Rose, she loves you…of course she does, you’re her mum. I just…” and he trails off, thinking it’s better if he doesn’t finish that sentence.

“It’s just what,” Rose pushes.

(Deep breath in, deep breath out) “It’s…I’ve been think these last few weeks about you and me and us…and what if…I mean…of course we cant know for sure but what if she’s behaving this way because you’ve been so upset? We don’t have any idea how the bond affects her or if it affects her at all. But what if it does and she can feel…well…you?” he stammers, knowing it’s likely going to upset her again.

“You mean what if her screamin all the time is my fault? That’s what you’re sayin’? You’re her fuckin dad and have this bond too…why’s it all on me?” she says, a bit indignant that he’s blamin’ her.

“I clearly stated that wrong,” Jon quickly back peddles, “Us…I should have said us. I meant us, I swear. Rose, I’m not blaming anything on you. I know you’ve been a wonderful mum to Keera; I have never thought anything but that. And watching you with her, watching you holding her or nursing her, singing to her…I didn’t even know that kind of love existed. I’ve loved you from the first time I saw you yeah? But watching you with our daughter…seeing the life you’ve given me. I love you both so much and I just want you happy…safe and happy love. That’s all, that why I mentioned it. Children are naturally receptive to their parents’ emotions and that is without a mystical bond. What if…can you feel her sometimes? Like she’s reaching out for you? Sometimes I think I can, but it’s so faint that maybe I’m imagining it.”

“Really?” Rose asks hesitantly, “I thought I was really going crazy Jon,” she says through tears and broken sobs. “I can feel her too, like she’s trying to grab me and pull me to her. But its faint yeah and I just kept dismissin’ at as me going fuckin’ nuts. She’s…she’s with Amy yeah? Get up,” she says while pushing at his shoulder.

“Why, she’s safe with Amy. Let’s just stay here for a bit Rose,” he says trying to pull her back down.

“No but…don’t you get it? If she’s part of this bond and we’ve been pushin’ her away. Just dismissin’ her attempts to connect…” She trails off, trying to calm herself, (Deep breath in, deep breath out) “Do ya remember what is was like when I locked you out? How scared you were and how much it hurt…physically

hurt Jon…what if…what if that’s why she’s crying all the time. She’s been trying to connect with us and we’ve brushed it off as colic?!”

He jumps from the bed and throws his clothes back on, immediately grabbing Roses hand in his and rushes through the castle to the library where he left Amy with Keera-Aislin. Just outside the door Rose pulls him to a stop and when he turns to ask her why she places her finger over his lips and closes her eyes. Rose tries to focus on their daughter; the shape of her cupids bow mouth, her large dark brown, anime like eyes, the soft brown hair and the way it feels against her chest while Keera’s nursing…and there…just there a tiny spark of recognition. She opens her eyes and stares in to Jon’s, a duplicate set of the eyes she was just picturing in her head.

“Can ya feel tha’?” she stutters while gripping his hand so tight he may lose circulation. Before he can answer though, Rose is headed into the room and reaching over Amy to grab their daughter from her. “OH Gods, Keera I’m so sorry,” she sobs clutching their daughter.

“What’s going’ on?” Amy asks looking nervously at Rose.

Jon rushes across the room to his wife and daughter, wraps his arms around Rose and says, “Keera-Aislin is linked with the bond and we think that’s why she’s been screaming. She’s been trying to connect with us and we didn’t realize it.”

“What?” Amy asks trying to comprehend what he just said, “We’ve never come across anything in our research that even hinted that could happen. What makes you think that’s happening Rose?”

“I don’t think it, I know it. I can feel her Amy and…its like I can see her now that I’m lookin for it. Jon’s like this blue color and she’s…it’s like a sparkly lilac color. Can’t you feel her Jon?” Rose asks turning to him.

He reaches over and places his large hand against the small back of his baby girl and tries to focus…wants desperately to feel what Rose is feeling, that connection with their daughter. It’s almost a state of meditation before he clutches onto what Rose so easily found, the small fragile tendril of consciousness that’s reaching out to him. It’s barely a whisper but its there and as he reaches out for the lilac colored strand that is their daughter something happens. He knows Rose felt it too as she gasped in elation or shock he’s not sure which. They turn to see each other at the same time and when their eyes meet they see the others eyes flash gold for barely a second and then its gone.

“Holy Fucking Shite Rose! What the hell was that? I did just see that right, like that really just fuckin’ happened?” Amy screeches, running around them and looking intensely at all of their faces.

“I…I don’t know. I don’t know what just happened,” Rose says looking at Keera’s eyes. “Did it happen to all 3 of us?”

“Yeah, it was super fuckin’ cool. Jon grabbed you and put his hand on Keera and then it was like a circuit connectin’ or somethin’. All of your eyes flashed gold for a moment and then it was gone. I need to call Martha and Rory,” she shrieks excitedly, “What a bout Matt? Definitely Jack and Donna but do you want Matt back here?”

Jon knows…well he has an idea of what just happened…maybe…he hopes he’s wrong. This all plays into exactly what Jon had wanted…all of their family back here with Rose. “Yeah, call everyone. They should come here while we try to figure this out,” and once again thinks about what a selfish prick he is. He’s going to uproot everyone they know and manipulate them into staying here…permanently. And he knows he’s an arse for doing it but honestly he doesn’t care anymore.

He’s not sure how its possible for Rose, Keera-Aislin he supposes had a chance of having it passed on to her because she is his daughter, but Rose…he’s not sure how that could have happened. And Gods, he hopes he’s wrong about this, he had hoped he’s never have to explain to anyone what he’s been hiding since his escape from Davros. Jon doesn’t even know what to call it and it took him years of practice to be able to will it away. These last 8 weeks with Rose have been so hard on both of them. Now, finding out that Keera-Aislin is linked to their bond she is going to need her family. Especially if Jon’s right about what just happened.

It’s sad for Jon, but he’s come to realize since everyone left that he would be okay of it was just the 3 of them. He thought he needed all these people but he’s coming to find he really only NEEDS Rose and now Keera-Aislin. He would miss the others, especially Donna and Jack but he’d be okay without them. He’s coming to see that is not the case with Rose. Jon understands that she NEEDS her family, not just wants them around but she needs them around to be okay. Him and Keera-Aislin will never be enough for his Rose, she’ll always need more than just the two of them could provider her; and that’s good he thinks. He wants Keera-Aislin to have that compassion and capacity for love that Rose possesses.

Rose snapping her fingers in front of his face brings him back to reality and he gives her a sheepish smile, “ I’m sorry love, what were you asking?”

“Are Donna and Lee back from their trip across the pond? What were you thinkin’ bout’?” She asks eyeing him critically.

“Uh…no I don’t think they’re back until next week, but we still need to call them. Donna would be furious if we didn’t tell her,” Jon responds.

It didn’t escape Roses attention that he failed to answer the rest of her question. Sometimes she wishes she could know what he was thinking as easily as he can with her. Like right now, Rose knows he’s upset and worried but she doesn’t know why and he won’t say.

Jon pulls her close and leans down to her ear and whispers, “I am upset and I am worried and I will talk to you I promise.”

Rose turns to see the smirk on his face and all at once she wants to slap and kiss it off him. “How…that was very precise,” she says looking up at him through her lashes.

“For fucks sake,” Amy groans in a tone that says Rose is an idiot, “You were talkin out loud.”

“Oh,” and she flushed crimson for a moment, “ Do you hear how quiet she’s bein’ now? Oh Keera mummy’s so, so sorry,” Rose coos while lightly kissing her baby’s downy hair.

“Well no sense it feeling guilty. It’s not like you could have known…” Amy says trailing off.

“What is it?? Jon asks seeing Amy’s pensive face.

“Well I was just thinking, weren’t both your parents Twin flames…the both of you right. They’d have to be for you to be. So wouldn’t you have had the link with your parents? Do either of you remember that at all?” Amy asks looking between the two of them.

Jon cannot let on that he has a fairly good idea of what’s happening; he needs to explain it to Rose first. “No, of course not. I’m fairly certain that’s something we would have thought to bring up months ago Amy,” Jon says snidely, “A telepathic link with ones parent isn’t something one would just forget to mention I should think.”

“Oooohh,” Amy says smiling, “Look at you breakin’ out your posh upper class grammar. Now I know you’re worried. You know act like an arse when you’re scared or hungry.”

“Well of course I’m worried Amy. Look what Rose and I had to go through trying to figure out the bond and now there’s something new happening again. This though, we don’t even know what this is,” he snipes, and technically not a lie. And, he’s not certain that his affliction has been passed to Rose and their daughter; Keera-Aislin maybe but certainly not Rose. And if there’s no way he could pass it to Rose then it’s doubtful that’s the issue at all. “Neither of us had a link with our parents so what if this has nothing to do at all with the bond? Where do we even begin to look then huh? There is nothing even remotely comical about this and yes I’m bloody terrified!” He shouts, spittle flying from his mouth as Keera-Aislin begins to work herself into a proper fit.

“Jon, I think you’re scarin’ her love. Try and calm down yeah,” Rose says trying to soothe the now screaming baby. She closes her eyes and focuses on the threads that are Jon and Keera and tries to push calm through the bond. She’s been practicing controlling this more and she’s fairly chuffed when Keera stops screaming and

Jon’s breaths returns to normal.

When she turns back to Jon he smiles at her and she gives him that smile. The one that first stole his heart and breath from his lungs. “Rose Tyler,” he says softly, his forehead to hers, “You always bring me back, thank you.”

“Christ you two are gross, worse than Rory and me by far,” Amy says making vomit motions with her hand. “Alright I’ll start with Rory and Martha, Rose you go and call your mum and Jon call Donna. Between Jackie and Donna they’ll let everyone else know. Toby and Susan can take care of travel arrangements and everyone will be here by tomorrow, easy peasy,” Amy says.

Where is Toby anyway? I called for him a long while ago now,” Jon says frowning, “Its unusual for him to not respond,” and Jon hits his speed dial for Toby.

“Hello Jon,” Toby says. He had long since stopped calling him anything else save for in public or with the council.

“Where are you? I paged you hours ago now,” Jon says exasperated.

“I did come by your room earlier, but you appeared to be indisposed. I figured neither you or Rose would appreciate the interruption,” he responds, humor lacing his voice.

Toby and Jon had become quite close over the last eight months. The men spent a great deal of time together and Jon had come to trust Toby as a confident. He valued Toby’s opinion because he didn’t know Jon’s history, he just knew this Jon…this incarnation. Because it was like that, like he’d been reborn and made new again because of Rose loving him and teaching him to love her and now Keera-Aislin.

“Did you hear me Jon?” Toby asks, “Hello, are you still there?”

“Yeah, yes I’m here…sorry,” Jon stutters out, “I need you to make travel arrangements for our family. Everyone needs to come back as soon a possible.”

“When you say everyone, who all do you mean?” Toby asks.

“Donna and maybe Lee, Jack and maybe Ianto, Clara and Matt…they need to be here that is not a request. Don’t us…don’t phrase it like that to Clara of course but she and Matt need to be here. And Jackie, she also need sot be here. If Jack and Donna and their respective partners don’t want to come…Well no…I was going to say okay but we need all of them here right away,” Jon says rambling his thoughts aloud.

“Okay we’ll start making the calls now,” Rose turns to him smiling, and he realizes its Susan’s voice answering him.

Jon disconnects the phone, “When did that happen?” he asks Rose.

“It’s been a while now. They’re very cute together. I’ve called mum and left her a message. She’s likely sleeping as its only 5 am,” Rose says still cooing at Keera-Aislin, “Here ya wanna hold her for a bit? I need some coffee and a shower I think.”

“No coffee,” he says, “You need to sleep Rose, we need to sleep. Come on,” he says taking Keera-Aislin and grabbing Roses hand in his.

Jon leads them all back to their room, places Keera- Aislin in her cot by their bed and guides Rose to their bed to lay down. He knows he needs to talk to her before everyone gets here and she knows she’s going to be upset. So…sleep first. If she’s not sleep deprived maybe she’ll be less angry, more…understanding why he’s a selfish arsehole who hadn’t already talked to her about this. But how was he supposed to bring that up? _“Oh Rose, by the way…forgot to mention that occasionally my eyes flash gold and I turn into a monster with super speed and strength that can kill someone before they can blink. Oh…and I may have somehow passed that on to you and our daughter...night love, sleep well?!”_ He’s a fucking idiot. He didn’t tell her when this started between them and now it’s going to look like he was hiding it from her…because he was. How was he supposed to know it would pass to her, how is that even possible? Now he’s going to have to tell everyone.

Not even Jack knows about this.

She’ll be upset…angry even but she wont leave him right? She can’t…can she? Would she take Keera-Aislin away from him? No…Rose would never. She said forever and he believes her. She’ll be mad…maybe even for a long while but they’ll make it through this, just like everything else that’s happened. They’ll figure it out with her hand in his, like always. He will keep Keera-Aislin and Rose safe and they will find their happily ever after Jon thinks as he holds Rose a little tighter…even if he has to kill to make it happen. Jon’s eyes flash gold quickly with his protectiveness of Rose and Keera-Aislin…he’ll protect them, their life together…no one will take that from him. He closes his eyes and focuses on the bond that now shimmers in shades of blue, pink and purple pushing all his love to his girls as he falls asleep.


End file.
